Jerden Rules Crowbank: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 21:43, 7 November 2013

Jerden Rules Crowbank
‎
Abbreviation:	JRC
Group Numbers:	Currently 4, still recruiting!
Leadership:	Jerden
Goals:	The acceptance that Jerden Rules Crowbank
Recruitment Policy:	Anyone can join
Contact:	Contact in-game, use this group's discussion page or our forum

	Short-wave Radio Info
	The Crowbank suburb has the following active radio stations. Freq: 26.16: Radio Crowbank

JRC are a group dedicated to maintaining that Jerden Rules Crowbank and to spreading this incontrovertible truth. Survivors, Zombies, PKers and Do-gooders are all welcome to join this noble quest, and may be members for as long or as short as they like. As a group we believe that having fun in whatever way you want to is the best way to live in this crazy town, and we have decided that lunacy is incredibly enjoyable.

Our general activities include restoring Crowbank, killing enemies (they started it!), helping allies and JRC members and, if we have time, random acts of destruction and murder in surrounding suburbs, both because it's fun, and because it gets attention. We also die at the hands of vengeful killers and lurch outside as zombies with an alarming frequency, but that can't really be avoided. Still, that part of our activities only slows us down a bit, and we try to make that fun and productive as well. For example, Zombies are very good at preventing overcading in Crowbank.

Please put JRC if you join us, not Jerden Rules Crowbank. It's easier.

JRC is open to all offers of friendship from like minded groups. Add to our discussion page or our forum. We also welcome enemies with open arms and lots of bullets, but please oppose us politely. The exchange of banter with foes is appreciated and encouraged by JRC.

History

Some time ago, aimless and probably insane PKer Jerden declared himself High Lord of Crowbank, for reasons unknown to all (including him). After a varied past, Jerden set up this group, Jerden Rules Crowbank, so that others may show support. It helps his ego. Unfortunately, not everyone agrees, and there have been many regicides of the High Lord, mildly inconveniencing Jerden until someone got round to reviving him. Jerden demands they apologize and stop doing it - it hurts, emotionally and physically! Mildly inconvenience them, that'll show them! (Bullets and stab wounds are merely mild inconveniences in Malton.)

However, Jerden is not the mindless lunatic people may think he is. He has great pride in his suburb, and a strong sense of something warm and fuzzy exists withing his circle of friends, which means group members and pretty much anyone else who helps, hails, heals or revives him.

The fact that people have joined JRC begs the question - who's crazier? Jerden, or the people who follow him?

News

After weeks of planning, the good King Jerden and his loyal followers marched to Pitneybank on a matter of foreign policy: the Samhain Slaughter. JRC banded together with a diverse coalition of fellow do-gooders, including our friends in Flowers of Decay, Philosophe Knights, Cobra and Unholy Trinity . With his Awesomeness himself leading the charge (well, he was in the charge), the alliance was unified to an extent none had thought possible. By our combined efforts, dozens were slain. The fallen included many of the licentious, zerging Yeti swine and their sympathizers, arrogant trenchcoaters, anti-Cobra radicals, a confirmed zombie spy, and a few who committed the crime of standing in front of us while we gun down others, a serious offense! The good King Jerden himself took out four targets inside Giddings Mall. With all King Jerden and his followers do for Crowbank, sometimes it's important to reach out and help improve the rest of Malton, and today this was done with much success. --Crystal Harrak^{Loyal soldier of Jerden} 07:29, 2 November 2013 (UTC)

I'm Jerden, and I approve this message. --Jerden 21:43, 7 November 2013 (UTC)

Our good friend Anja Arnheim organized peace talks with UD Fark, JRC's current arch enemies. I attended, and didn't kill anyone for DAYS! Do you know how hard that was? Probably not. Most people repress their inner psycho with ease. I tried, but when they started going on about how JRC must submit to their authority, and stop claiming to rule Crowbank (Which would be disbanding - Do they not understand that we are Jerden Rules Crowbank?)... Well, I shall quote myself:

"On behalf of JRC, the people of Crowbank, and psychopathic killers everywhere, I would like to thank the organisers of this event for giving me this opportunity to make a few things clear. "

"JRC support a change in the barricade plan. JRC refuse to disband (Stop pretending to rule Crowbank? What would we do?) and submit to anyone. Stop acting like you own the place, you gosh-darned Farkers, acting like we own the place is our job!"

"So, while I'll start getting a better barricade plan sorted out, with the help of the community, just remember that JRC will never give up, never surrender, and never stop revelling in wanton violence. Your group's arrogance, and being in our way..."

"Has brought a sentence of death upon thee, so-called Decider Inchief! Remember, you can beg for forgiveness and mercy at any time, and I'll stop. Until then, war. Sorry, but I like targets that shoot back. It makes Malton more interesting!"

You fire your pistol at Decider Inchief for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.

"By the last-man-standing rules of the debating table, UD Fark concede the argument to JRC. This is how negotiation works, right? See you soon, sorry about the mess, but I love a few blood flecks from bloody Farkers (no insult intended, it's now literal!)." --Jerden 22:48, 12 October 2013 (BST)

JRC is still at war with UD Fark, and we deny responsibility. They provoked us!

Current Score (JRC will update as necessary): JRC 34, UD Fark 12. They're going to be annoyed... --Jerden 22:48, 12 October 2013 (BST)--Jerden 22:04, 27 September 2013 (BST)

On a less violent note, we are genuinely willing to get involved in any changes to the barricade plan. We are also willing to not get involved if requested. A lot of people may prefer not to support a barricade plan supported by us. --Jerden 22:48, 12 October 2013 (BST)

Don't really know what happened... Something about impersonations amd whatever, the important thing is that I finally have a target to shoot at (Yay!) Anyways, blood on the floor and four more. Decider Inchief now lies behind a door. Two nill for JRC.

DISCLAIMER: This note was made by an underling of Jerden and may or may not or could impossibly yet still possibly reflect what he wants to be put on this page. Jerden could perhaps feel free to luckily erease this masochistic yet enriching and profitable post which has lately suspiciously resembled spam. Anyways, this was and still is on. --Leiter 19:32, 20 August 2013 (BST)

Okay, from now on let's treat all radio broadcasts with rampant paranoia as we remember that any broadcasts may be fraudulent. Not that that'll stop me using it, I love adding to paranoia and distrust, but if I want to say something and verify it, I'll post it here. Death to UD Far... Actually, let's not be too hasty just yet. --Jerden 18:55, 20 August 2013 (BST)

It appears that JRC have accidentally started a war with UD Fark, and it's sort of my fault. Let's get things clear:

26.16 MHz: "OK Jerden, this is Decider Inchief"
26.16 MHz: "of UD Fark. I'm at the Spragge" 
26.16 MHz: "and you may consider yourself to be at war" 
26.16 MHz: "henceforth."

In 20:20 hindsight, that was clearly a setup. Only an idiot would fall for it.

So, obviously, I rushed to the Spragge Building and killed Decider Inchief immediately!

Then later, he comes back annoyed (for some reason), and attacks me. I think of this as a continuation of the conflict.

Then:

26.16 MHz: "The Jerden way - make a fake announcement and then go kill" 
26.16 MHz: "whoever you want. Is this your leader Crowbank?" 
26.16 MHz: "Decider Inchief did not broadcast anything." 
26.16 MHz: "To avenge his murder, UD Fark declares a bounty on Jerden's" 
26.16 MHz: "scalp, and anyone who assists him. Broadcasting on the" 
26.16 MHz: "radio is one thing - unjustified PKing is another."

Well, I honestly didn't broadcast the original message, but I may have overreacted. I blame the shadowy "Crowbank Spring" for this. Seriously, someone wants JRC gone. I can't imagine why.

So, as this is all clearly a horrendous misunderstanding, why don't we act like mature adults, apologise, and forget that this ever happened?

Nah. LET THE WAR COMMENCE! I love a good bit of pointless, one sided, and easily avoidable violence! One-nil to Crowbank F.C.? --Jerden 22:21, 19 August 2013 (BST)

For Older news, see the Jerden Rules Crowbank/News Archive.

Recruitment

Anyone can join JRC, as long as you are willing to say that Jerden Rules Crowbank (Or the Zamgrh equivalent, Garban ranz Gargazzb!rdbang) and follow a few simple rules (Written Below). Zombies are as welcome as the Living, as JRC seeks to appeal to both sides of Crowbank society. Jerden enjoys playing as both zombie and human, but JRC members can choose for themselves how they want to live/unlive.

If you join JRC you gain access to our Health Benefits (We won't kill you) and Jerden promises to listen to your opinions. Whether or not he acts upon them is another matter, but he will at least listen and care. Finally, anything you do that doesn't break the rules on this page is technically legal in Crowbank, although not everyone realises that. Sorry, but we're currently trying to change that. Anyone crazy enough to help us out?

So, while actual physical benefits of JRC membership are currently lacking, there are good reasons to join. Perhaps you feel like having a bit of fun at the expense of yourself and anyone that happens to be near you? Perhaps you want to be part of our fun little community? Perhaps you enjoy being the target of illiterate and nonsensical insults? Perhaps you're a bloodthirsty maniac with delusions of grandeur? JRC won't judge you, you'll fit in nicely!

Rules (Members of the group must):

Never attack members of JRC. Seriously, don't. The punishment for breaking this rule is to be shot on sight at least once. (I know that shooting traitors actually breaks the first rule, but I'm writing these rules, not you. Shut up!)

Always say something before PKing someone. It's only polite, and pre-death one liners are cool. Plus it helps them to understand why they must die. Ignorance of JRC is a disease to be cured! However, we will forgive you if you forget this rule. Even Jerden does from time to time, and he feels bad about it.

Try not to PK newbies, but instead attempt to indoctrinate them in the ways of our group. Seriously, don't PK any Level 1s, as it's a bit cruel. It's hard enough from them. You choose for yourself when you think they need the stick and not the carrot.

Don't say anything that you wouldn't want someone to say to you in Urban Dead (i.e. no text rape or anything too offensive). Basically, keep it clean and in-game. After all, we might as well kill people politely!

Play fair. Don't use the tactics described as "unfair" by the Coalition for Fair Tactics, meaning no zerging, alt-abuse or forum spying.

Yeah, that's about it. You can do whatever you want as long as you stick to these few simple rules. You could spread our message of righteous dominance, by speech, radio or graffiti, you could heal people and defend Crowbank, you could kill our enemies, you could kill random people (preferably outside Crowbank, but I'm not going to judge you) - We do whatever we please. It's all good fun.

Amateur Philosophy

"I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more to be than a good dancer." Friedrich Nietzsche

Our Philosophy is simple (but philosophy is all about long, rambling paragraphs, so we'll try and make it longer), and based around the fact that in Malton, Death is temporary and harmless, and so should provide the most fun possible for everyone. It doesn't matter what you do, how many players you kill or how many times you die, as long as you enjoy it. Whether you're informing people of the error of not inhabiting Crowbank, avenging JRC, reading the report of your death at the hands of a misguided fellow killer or simply smashing down barricades and eating Harman Bra!nz, a member of JRC will simply cackle with glee. If you kill them, they know you. If they kill you, they know you. If they know you, they know JRC. If they know JRC, the battle is half won. (The second half's harder, but who cares?)

Therefore dying or being revivified is not a problem, as it simply offers new opportunities, and getting revived or killed is pretty easy. This also means that PKing should not be viewed as evil, but just as another way of playing the game. Alternatively, PKer Killing is also a valid occupation, for the PKers who want to fit in with everyone else. Alternative to the Alternative, PKerKer Killing is another valid option, and really just preemptive self defense. Let's face it, accepting PKing means accepting that lot too. As legitimate targets. This is where simple PKing becomes an elaborate game of hide and seek and kill, and it really makes playing Urban Dead more fun for everyone involved. That is JRC's intention.

But, I hear you say (Or maybe I'm just hearing voices...), some people don't want to die! So what? They'll get used to it! Being a Zombie's great fun! And getting revenge is pretty easy and very enjoyable if you feel like it (The members of JRC don't actually care too much about dying, we just enjoy taking revenge!).

Also, we're Communist Monarchist Capitalist Anarchists, striving to install a Dictatocracy (A state of government in which a leader is held in power due the difficulty in getting him to shut up about it). We just wanted to make that perfectly clear, with absolutely no potential for any misunderstandings.

Registrar of Members

Add your name, Title and profile link below to show that your membership. Oh, and obviously add JRC as your group on your profile. How else will we become the most popular group in Malton?

Jerden, Self Proclaimed High Lord of Crowbank: Normally found spraypainting propaganda and barricade notifications around Crowbank or killing bland, high level characters who really should know better than to stand around all non-descript. Those people need the excitement of a pointless death, and I'm happy to oblige!

Leiter, The Other Left Hand of Jerden: Usually fixing the forums, making my wonderful voice heard on the air and every once in a while I decide to go out there and collect some unsuspecting yet never under lvl 35 heads (unless I know they are being controlled by someone with more experience of the game)

EOMK, Vagabond-Turned-Ambassador: Our current Diplomat outside Crowbank.

Crystal Harrak, Loyal Soldier: Spreading truths about his Awesomeness the High Lord of Crowbank.

Friends and Supporters of Jerden Rules Crowbank

Just to show that we aren't just a bunch of hated and/or feared lunatics, the following list of people are DOYR (Deserving of your respect), SNBH (Should Not Be Harmed), PAGITATYCSYDMAMAKT (Probably A Good Idea To Add To Your Contacts So You Don't Make A Mistake And Kill Them):

Ex-member FOXLION . He fought as bravely as a lion and as cunningly as a Fox against those who deny our truth, that Jerden Rules Crowbank, and was very helpful. However, Foxlion didn't have the time to keep playing as a member of JRC, so he left, but he left happily and hopefully after having an enjoyable battle.

Ex-member Anja Arnheim. We're still on friendly terms, but she's too good for JRC and got fed up of the people she was trying to help assuming that her presence in a group that contained PKers made her a PKer. It's unfair, so she left.

Saya no Uta, honoured the High Lord with "All hail the supreme overlord of Crowbank! Jerden! *smiles*". It's that easy!

Armpit Odor, a fellow PKer of particular note as he said "Greetings, High Lord of Crowbank!" to Jerden. How friendly of him.

Actions speak a thousand words, but words are still helpful. With that in mind, Jim Thirlwell is added to this list for reviving Jerden and saying "Jerden, my friend. Wonderful to meet you! Here's a special something, for the true lord of Crowbank." It's nice when people show support.

Jerden is pleased to add Seraphina Saint ("*wary* pleased to meet you umm your majesty? I was just passing through...lovely town you have here") and Aronia Walth ("Great leadership, my lord! I alredy filed my papers for the Crowbank green card!" as well as providing healing after an attempted regicide) to this list, a pair of lovely ladies who really made him feel welcome in Crowbank. Of course, JRC are always welcome in our own domain, but sometimes it doesn't feel that way!

An enemy turned friend, a most polite Pistol Whipz (where do they get these crazy names from?), who declared that "Now that I found you Mr Jerden, I'd like to apologize, sorry. You arent such a bad guy after all". Just a note though, the correct form of address is "Your Awesomeness", not Mr, just so you all know.

It's nice to be appreciated: Seth Meyers said: "I'm a big fan Jerden! Keep cracking us all up please." He may be laughing at me, but at least he's not shooting at me!

The Spanish Inquisition - Our friendship began with conflict. We exchanged pleasantries and gunfire as we tried to kill each other. Our banter and insults on the discussion page were incredibly entertaining. While TSI were both more numerous and more competent than JRC, we did pretty well and there was a final score of TSI:23 JRC:18. We kind of got bored and gave up at that point, and ended on friendly terms, so we no longer try to kill each other. It just goes to show that just because you want someone dead, it doesn't mean you can't have fun and laugh along with them. A lesson that many of our current enemies could learn.

Enemies of Jerden Rules Crowbank

See Jerden Rules Crowbank: Enemies List. It's a fascinating read!

Disclaimer

Jerden Rules Crowbank is not technically a PKing group, merely one that has members that think that PKing is a fun, harmless and family-friendly way to spread their message. You don't have to PK to join the group, although remember that any enemies we may happen to make may not understand this subtle distinction. In fact, screw that, if they're our enemies they're probably not too considerate so they definitely won't understand. By majority consent, we're a bunch of vicious PKers.