Random Public Speeches

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Revision as of 04:53, 10 November 2008 by Metalchest (talk | contribs) (→‎'''Multi Liners''': added a zombie-dialogue)
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Sometimes you stumble into an ongoing conversation or a one person comedy hour routine that will be lost forever after the next action.

If this amuses you, please take some time to also check out

Please place new speeches at the top of the list.

One Liners

Cowardly Zombie

  1. A zombie brought down the last of the barricades (3 hours and 41 minutes ago)

CplHunter said "*leans out a window and yells "next time come in ya pussy!"*"

Zombie Cheerleader

  1. A zombie said "ZAM AH RAM AH ZAM AH RAM AH ZAM BAM BAH! ZAMBAH ZAMBAH RAH RAH RAH!" (5 hours and 33 minutes ago) Clinch Way Police Department, Crowbank

Spinal Tap?

You are inside Orders Crescent Police Dept.

...

There is a mob of eleven zombies here.

  1. Roderick Decker said, "Eleven zombies? THAT'S RIDICULOUS. THAT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY!"

Chuck Norris?!?!

  1. Walker MaltonRanger said "when your in Malton look behind you, cuz thats where the rangers gonna be" (12 hours and 28 minutes ago) The Fram Building, Wray Heights

Search and ye shall find... nothing.

  1. wally wallbanger said "I could find a Nintendo Wii in Malton easier than I could find a syringe in here..." The Fram Building, Wray Heights

Zombie Scrooge

  1. A zombie said "BAH HAMBAG" (5 days ago)

Multi Liners

Act frightening!

  1. A zombie said "Mrh?" (1 hour and 52 minutes ago)
  2. A zombie said "Nah, nah, nah.... Zambahz nah gah mhrh... Zambahz gah GRRAAAAGGHHH!!" (1 hour and 51 minutes ago)

END OF SPEECH HERE

Baked Potatoes and Battery Opperated Devices

Witnessed by Private Bron at Stickling Mall

girltrauma said "I think there are at least 5 taters hidden in the envoy's posterior. And at least a couple stuffed down his drawers so that it looks like he has something hangin out there. The only question is deep fry them in place, bake them in place, or extract them?" (15 hours and 41 minutes ago)

girltrauma said "I have a flamethrower ready to go, hoping BAKE is the voted upon option..." (15 hours and 40 minutes ago)

girltrauma said "StayPuff, you might want to stand clear for a moment. Unless you have chocolate and graham crackers handy..." (15 hours and 39 minutes ago)

girltrauma said "Or AA batteries.. we ladies have been a bit lonely for a while... Pickins are a bit slim. well. entirely slim. like farm aid slim." (15 hours and 34 minutes ago)

25.96 MHz: "... crossing East Grayside now, can see maybe a dozen down there ... all stragglers, no groups ... a lot of buildings with lights on ... infrastructure looks intact ... power's on at the Angerstein Building ..." (14 hours and 49 minutes ago)

newton pippin said "Double A batteries? Knowing you girls i would of thought those items would need car batteries" (12 hours and 50 minutes ago)

The Envoy said "Look, about those taters. Come on, I just got revived. As if no one in this mall never shat themselves as a result of post-rev bowel evacuation. I'll clean 'em out myself, you really ought be treating post rigor mortis fecal matter foodstuffs..." (7 hours and 15 minutes ago)

The Envoy said "I mean things aren't that bad in Malton foodwise." (7 hours and 14 minutes ago)

The Envoy said "My anal serpent onslaught is like a hydra...for each you try to light up 8 more will sprout from it's origin..." (7 hours and 10 minutes ago)

a lab monkey said "Hey, this guy's funny. Why don't the ULC like you Envoy?" (7 hours and 6 minutes ago)

a lab monkey said "heh, hydra-like arse eels." (7 hours and 6 minutes ago)

anonymousJohn said "Anybody hear about that kid who got decapitated at six flags over georgia? I don't have a joke for it but I was there." (exactly 7 hours ago)

a lab monkey said "how 'there ' were you? on the ride? sitting next to him? did his head land in your lap?" (6 hours and 59 minutes ago)

The Envoy broadcast "Wait Envoy giving a shout out to Ranahan from Stickling," from here, on 26.80 MHz. (5 hours and 48 minutes ago)

The Envoy broadcast "He's been kidnapped by the ULC and they're making him eat" from here, on 26.80 MHz. (5 hours and 47 minutes ago)

The Envoy broadcast "eels and pickles. Send grape soda stat." from here, on 26.80 MHz. (5 hours and 47 minutes ago)

The Envoy broadcast "And by 'grape soda' he means a roid raging gorilla" from here, on 26.80 MHz. (5 hours and 46 minutes ago)

John Lokisson said "Now monkey, you as well as anyone should know that open mockery and humiliation is no way to measure if we actually like someone or not." (5 hours and 31 minutes ago)

John Lokisson said "I just had to go off on him a bit 'cause he interrupted a rant of mine. And he made fun of my bored outta my skull actions... :(" (5 hours and 30 minutes ago)

Tad Allagash said "He came across as if he thought he was superior and made many assumptions about the kind of people we in the ULC are. Still, he grows on you. Like athlete's foot." (5 hours and 18 minutes ago)

karl kolchak said "thx for the first aid, Tad :)" (4 hours and 9 minutes ago)

a lab monkey said "Very true Loki, I couldn't tell if it was hostile mockery and humiliation or just plain ULC mockery and humiliation." (3 hours and 57 minutes ago)

a lab monkey said "and you're right Tad, he does have somewhat of a 'wackier-than-thou' attitude." (3 hours and 56 minutes ago)

a lab monkey said "He reminds me of Leaper, but slightly funnier. I notice that Leaper is no longer active... just saying." (3 hours and 55 minutes ago)

a lab monkey said "And someone asked me about the Malton Horse Porn Emporium... that is just me. I travel Malton, peddling the finest horsey jazz mags known to man. We also carry Deluxe Inflatable Ponies. They're the ones with the real hair." (3 hours and 49 minutes ago)

a lab monkey said "ah Pippin, I see you're awake... amuse me." (3 hours and 49 minutes ago)

newton pippin said "Im liking you The Envoy at the moment. Have some booze from the whisky fountain. Monkey! How does one join your new group?" (3 hours and 46 minutes ago)

newton pippin said "I shall amuse you by telling you the storyu of a man with a wang so large he had to fold it in half just to get through french windows" (3 hours and 45 minutes ago)

newton pippin said "There was a man whose wang was so big he had to fold it in half just to get it through french windows" (3 hours and 42 minutes ago)

a lab monkey said "ah, very good Mr. Pippin. I see you have not lost your scintillating wit in my absence." (3 hours and 33 minutes ago)

a lab monkey said "To join my group, all you need do is put the Malton Horse Porn Emporium in your profile." (3 hours and 32 minutes ago)

a lab monkey said "and, be prepared to flog all manner of dodgy titillation." (3 hours and 31 minutes ago)

a lab monkey said "and be prepared to run like hell once they find out that all the horsey sex-toys I sell are made out of papier-mache na collapses as soon as it gets moist." (3 hours and 29 minutes ago)

a lab monkey said "I keep a crack squadron of crazed clown midgets who make it for me." (3 hours and 27 minutes ago)

a lab monkey said "heh, i said crack squadron." (3 hours and 27 minutes ago)

newton pippin said "midgets and crack. mmmmmmmm" (3 hours and 2 minutes ago)

girltrauma said "I really don't need to be thinking about a midget's crack." (2 hours and 33 minutes ago)

girltrauma said "*pours an absinthe and bourbon coctail. drinks it. pours another*" (2 hours and 33 minutes ago)

girltrauma said "Hey, it's happy hour in france..." (2 hours and 32 minutes ago)

Tad Allagash said "It's always happy hour in my undercrackers. Pretty girls get in for FREE!" (27 minutes ago)

Tad Allagash said "Form an orderly queue." (26 minutes ago)

End of Speech Here


Rash Boast

Witnessed by --Saterek Dubes 04:10, 22 May 2008 (BST)

  1. Azouos Mada said "Alright You Frakkers, BRING IT !!!" (9 hours and 30 minutes ago)
  2. A zombie killed Azouos Mada. (8 hours and 44 minutes ago)

Help Yourself First

Witnessed by Kittithaj, 11 May 2008, Anne General Hospital, Dulston.

Because healing yourself doesn't give XP...

  1. Tansiv said "Anybody need some first aid?" (2 hours and 27 minutes ago)
  2. MauroAltieri said "Yeah, you." (2 hours and 23 minutes ago)

The Chopper

Alex1guy said: "Get to da choppa!" (28 seconds ago)

Possible actions:

Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

Since your last turn:

Elessar Narmolanya healed you for 5 HP. (2 hours and 39 minutes ago)

Coamenel said "It is important to note that suddenly, and against all probability, a Sperm Whale had been called into existence, several miles above the surface of an alien planet and since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this innocent creature" (2 hours and 26 minutes ago)

Coamenel said "had very little time to come to terms with its identity. This is what it thought, as it fell:" (2 hours and 26 minutes ago) Elessar Narmolanya said "Ahhh! Woooh! What's happening? Who am I? Why am I here? What's my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I? Okay okay, calm down calm down get a grip now. Ooh, this is an interesting sensation. What is it? Its a sort of tingling in my..." (2 hours and 22 minutes ago)

Elessar Narmolanya said "well I suppose I better start finding names for things. Lets call it a... tail! Yeah! Tail! And hey, what's this roaring sound, whooshing past what I'm suddenly gonna call my head? Wind! Is that a good name? It'll do. Yeah, this is really exciting." (2 hours and 21 minutes ago)

Elessar Narmolanya said "I'm dizzy with anticipation! Or is it the wind? There's an awful lot of that now isn't it? And what's this thing coming toward me very fast? So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like 'Ow', 'Ownge', 'Round', 'Ground'! That's it!" (2 hours and 20 minutes ago)

Elessar Narmolanya said "Ground! Ha! I wonder if it'll be friends with me? Hello Ground!

  • THUMP*" (2 hours and 19 minutes ago)

Coamenel said "Curiously the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias, as it fell, was, 'Oh no, not again.' Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly *why* the bowl of petunias had thought that" (2 hours and 18 minutes ago)

Coamenel said "we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now." (2 hours and 18 minutes ago

Sing Along With Lennon

  1. John Lennon Live said "Well well, a small audience! Welcome to Club Dell, my friends! Sit back, relax, and sing along with this short medley of hits..." (15 minutes ago)
  2. John Lennon Live said "Zombie Karma's gonna get you! It's bite you in the face! Better get yourself together, rotter - join the human race!" (14 minutes ago)
  3. John Lennon Live said "Imagine there’s no zombies. It isn’t hard to do. No infection spreading, and no brain rot too. Imagine all dead guys laying on the ground. U may say I’m a Lab Tech, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll revive me, & the world will" (14 minutes ago)
  4. John Lennon Live said "I didn’t mean to DNA scan you. I’m sorry that I made you cry. I didn’t mean to revivify you. I’m just a Necrotech guy!" (14 minutes ago)
  5. John Lennon Live said "FAKs will get you through the night! ‘salright, ‘salright It’s your HP or your life! ‘salright, ‘salright" (14 minutes ago)
  6. John Lennon Live said "Power to the hambags! Power to the hambags! Power to the hambags! Power to the hambags, right on!" (14 minutes ago)
  7. John Lennon Live said "Kevan, you know it ain’t easy, you know how hard it can be. The way things are going, they’re going to headshot me!" (13 minutes ago)
  8. John Lennon Live said "As soon as you’re spawned, on your bones will they gnaw. By giving you no time to head for the mall. ‘Til your brains do they eat, and your body will fall. A working-class zombie is something to be. A working-class zombie is something to be." (13 minutes ago)
  9. John Lennon Live said "Day after day, alone in the hall, an angry zombie is standing there ashen and tall. But nobody listens to him, or the groans he appears to make..." (13 minutes ago)
  10. John Lennon Live said "And he never speaks real clearly, but the zed with the ‘tude sees the guns coming down, and the eyes in his head stare at the backside of the ground!" (13 minutes ago)
  11. John Lennon Live said "He’s a real undead man, sitting in this quarantined land, making all his dinner plans for harmanz. Don’t have a heartbeat too, eating brains is what he’ll do, isn’t he a bit like you and me (eventually)." (13 minutes ago)
  12. John Lennon Live said "Two of us eating fingers, nibbling entrails ve-ry slow. You and me chasing harmanz, facing shotguns, on our way home. We’re on our way home! We’re going home!" (13 minutes ago)
  13. John Lennon Live said "That’s all the AP I have for today, folks. If you’re a fan, please spread the word to all your survivor friends about the show. And remember..." (12 minutes ago)
  14. John Lennon Live said "Two, one, two, three, four! Ev’rybody’s talking about Infectionism, Deadism, Bananaism, Survivorism, Pistolism, Necroism, This-ism, That-ism, is-m, is-m, is-m! All we are saying is give Zeds a chance!" (12 minutes ago)

Oh really?

  1. Asshulk said "http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=709394 This is Asshulk" (15 hours and 29 minutes ago)
  2. Asshulk said "Rumours of my demise have been GREATLY exaggerated. I cannot die" (15 hours and 29 minutes ago)
  3. Moose Knuckle killed Asshulk. (15 hours and 20 minutes ago)

Oh lord!

Added February 15th, 2008.

  1. ilikeshops destroyed the generator. (1 hour and 25 minutes ago)
  2. ilikeshops said "*makes the sign of the cross*" (1 hour and 24 minutes ago)
  3. ilikeshops said "take me into your arms lord i have sinned" (1 hour and 24 minutes ago)
  4. ilikeshops said "*coughs*" (1 hour and 22 minutes ago)
  5. ilikeshops said "o lord, let cry come unto thee" (1 hour and 22 minutes ago) ...and again.
  6. ilikeshops said "i stand before you lord a miserable sinner" (1 hour and 21 minutes ago)
  7. ilikeshops said "i heard satan call my name! in my foolishness i awnserd!" (1 hour and 20 minutes ago)
  8. ilikeshops said "and by the devils tounge i was corrupted into PK'ing and GK'ing" (1 hour and 19 minutes ago)
  9. ilikeshops said "but in the guiding light of the generators o lord i hve seen the error of my ways and i do earnestly repent my sins" (1 hour and 18 minutes ago)
  10. ilikeshops said "i hear ye lord bleesed are thoose ture survivours who ahve seen the way of non PK'ing i devliver my soul into your bosom in the knowledge that i may be cleaned of all my PKing and GKing" (1 hour and 17 minutes ago)
  11. ilikeshops said "all that are with me salute thee greet them that love us in the faith grace be with you all" (1 hour and 16 minutes ago)
  12. ilikeshops said "i beheld that pale horse , lord and his name that sat on him was PK'er, and all hell did follow with him" (1 hour and 14 minutes ago)
  13. ilikeshops said "Amen" (1 hour and 14 minutes ago)
  14. ilikeshops said "(wonders if someone here will put it on the famous/oddest speeches on the wiki" (1 hour and 14 minutes ago)
  15. ilikeshops said "shame to let that go to waste mabye other PKers and GKers will learn something from it" (1 hour and 14 minutes ago)
  16. ilikeshops said "*tilts his hat*" (1 hour and 13 minutes ago)
  17. ilikeshops installed a generator in the building. (1 hour and 13 minutes ago)
  18. ilikeshops said "god accept me into your holy arms" (1 hour and 13 minutes ago)
  19. ilikeshops said "i repent my sin i am full of woe at all the civilaians i killed" (1 hour and 13 minutes ago)
  20. ilikeshops said "i will now only do good" (1 hour and 13 minutes ago)
  21. ilikeshops said "*makes sign of cross and climbs up to window*" (1 hour and 12 minutes ago)

Cryosleep of the dead

  1. A zombie killed anusay. (5 hours and 27 minutes ago)
  2. You heard a loud groaning from very close by. (5 hours and 26 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 24 minutes ago)
  3. A zombie killed Doctor Pdeq. (5 hours and 23 minutes ago)
  4. A zombie dragged Tiberius Gracchus out into the street. (5 hours and 21 minutes ago)
  5. A zombie killed VivianneV. (5 hours and 20 minutes ago)
  6. A zombie said "Grab arm, harm man!" (5 hours and 20 minutes ago)
  7. You heard a loud groaning from very close by. (5 hours and 20 minutes ago)
  8. A zombie killed DiegoDiego. (5 hours and 19 minutes ago)
  9. You heard a loud groaning from very close by. (5 hours and 18 minutes ago)
  10. A zombie killed Piercy. (5 hours and 18 minutes ago)
  11. You heard a loud groaning from very close by. (5 hours and 17 minutes ago)
  12. A zombie dragged Trey Gerret out into the street. (5 hours and 16 minutes ago)
  13. A zombie dragged DrunkenLink out into the street. (5 hours and 16 minutes ago)
  14. You heard a low groaning from very close by. (5 hours and 16 minutes ago)
  15. You heard a loud groaning from very close by. (5 hours and 15 minutes ago)
  16. A zombie killed Crosshead. (5 hours and 12 minutes ago)
  17. A zombie dragged aide out into the street. (5 hours and 11 minutes ago)
  18. A zombie killed DoboJabobo. (5 hours and 7 minutes ago)
  19. A zombie dragged TimG84 out into the street. (5 hours and 6 minutes ago)
  20. A zombie killed klotejef. (5 hours and 5 minutes ago)
  21. A zombie said "Harrah harmanz. B!g bazh ahz raz!n Marzan! Harh harh! Harmanz maz b. Gammag bam-mahbam, rahz, an ra!z Marzan" (5 hours and 4 minutes ago)
  22. A zombie dragged aegis de fadeopia out into the street. (5 hours and 4 minutes ago)
  23. A zombie killed XZero09. (5 hours and 2 minutes ago)
  24. A zombie said "Harmanz, mah zambah az gannah barg manbagz, an harmanz b habbah an b zambahz. BARHAH!" (5 hours and 2 minutes ago)
  25. A zombie killed Girders. (5 hours and 1 minute ago)
  26. A zombie killed Terral66. (4 hours and 58 minutes ago)
  27. A zombie said "Graagh." (4 hours and 56 minutes ago)
  28. A zombie killed Johannes de Sloper. (4 hours and 52 minutes ago)
  29. A zombie ransacked the building. (4 hours and 52 minutes ago)
  30. A zombie ruined the building. (4 hours and 52 minutes ago)
  31. A zombie said "GRAAAAAAAGH! BARHAH!" (4 hours and 52 minutes ago)
  32. A zombie said "Ang. Nah mah harmanz aga!n!" (4 hours and 17 minutes ago)
  33. Wiknetti said "wh-... WHAT THE HELL!? I WAKE UP FROM CRYO AND THERE'S F'ING ZOMBIES EVERYWHERE!?" (3 hours and 52 minutes ago)
  34. A zombie said "GRAAAGH!!!!!" (1 hour and 55 minutes ago)

Your Honor, I rest my case

  1. Rico Montoya broadcast "Cades in NE Giddings are getting hammered" from here, on 26.70 MHz. (1 hour and 44 minutes ago)
  2. Ladiesman217 broadcast "Prove it!" from here, on 26.70 MHz. (1 hour and 43 minutes ago)
  3. A zombie brought down the last of the barricades. (1 hour and 40 minutes ago)
  4. A zombie brought down the last of the barricades. (1 hour and 40 minutes ago)

Uh huh huh, this is cool

  1. blood n guts said "holy crap! i just came from two suburbs east, AND THERE COMING! THE ZEDS ARE COMING! THE ZEDS ARE COMING! (pant pant) theve taken over a suburb 2 suburbs away! but, well, this is a friggen fortress, oh. lol never mind. say, wheres the nearest mc zeds?" (1 hour and 6 minutes ago)
  2. blood n guts said "spread the word will ya? i need to find a mc zeds. im intrested in joining. please tell me. please? PLEASE????" (1 hour and 4 minutes ago)
  3. Captain Kurt said "Settle down, Beavis." (8 minutes ago)

Don't fix it if it ain't broke

  1. CorpseDozer destroyed the generator. (7 hours and 31 minutes ago)
  2. CorpseDozer said "I broke the generator." (7 hours and 26 minutes ago)
  3. Victor Vengeance killed CorpseDozer. (6 hours and 47 minutes ago)
  4. Victor Vengeance said "I broke CorpsDozer :)" (6 hours and 47 minutes ago)

Irony.

  1. AK Weidenfeld said "Barricades were down to loose, but I rebuilt them. Also beware of PKers flocking to tollyton. Please don't revive them." (36 minutes ago)
  2. Steve the Embittered said "Finally, someone keeping Tollyton safe from PKers. Good job, AK. We need more people like you out there." (33 minutes ago)
  3. Steve the Embittered killed AK Weidenfeld. (33 minutes ago)
  4. Steve the Embittered said "The operative words being, of course, 'out there.' " (32 minutes ago)
  5. Steve the Embittered dumped a body out of the building. (32 minutes ago)

O Canada!

  1. Dick Munch said "O Canada!" (3 days ago)
  2. Dick Munch said "Our home and native land!" (3 days ago)
  3. Dick Munch said "True patriot love in all thy sons command." (3 days ago)
  4. Dick Munch said "With glowing hearts we see thee rise," (3 days ago)
  5. Dick Munch said "The True North strong and free!" (3 days ago)
  6. Dick Munch said "From far and wide," (3 days ago)
  7. Dick Munch said "O Canada, we stand on guard for thee." (3 days ago)
  8. Dick Munch said "Kevan keep our land glorious and free!" (3 days ago)
  9. Dick Munch said " O Canada, we stand on guard for thee." (3 days ago)
  10. Dick Munch said "O Canada, we stand on guard for thee." (3 days ago)

Garbahg Zambahz

  1. A zombie ( CaptKC ) clawed at you for 3 damage. (1 hour and 26 minutes ago)
  2. The zombie grabbed hold of you! (1 hour and 26 minutes ago)
  3. A zombie ( braggledorth ) gestured at one of the zombies ( CaptKC ). (1 hour and 18 minutes ago)
  4. A zombie ( braggledorth ) said "Garbahg zambah!!" (1 hour and 18 minutes ago)
  5. A zombie ( Jovianne ) said "Grh." (37 minutes ago)
  6. A zombie ( braggledorth ) gestured at one of the zombies ( Jovianne ). (31 minutes ago)
  7. A zombie ( braggledorth ) said "BARHAH!!" (31 minutes ago)
  8. A zombie ( braggledorth ) said "RAGGAHN BA!!Z GANNAH GRAB BANGBANG MANZ AHN HARM HARM HARM!!" (30 minutes ago)
  9. A zombie ( braggledorth ) said "BANGBANG MANZ GAHN ZAHG MAH B!G BANANA!!" (29 minutes ago)
  10. A zombie ( braggledorth ) gestured at one of the zombies ( CaptKC ). (28 minutes ago)
  11. A zombie ( braggledorth ) said "GARBAHG ZAMBAH GAHN ZAHG AHN MAH BANANA!!" (28 minutes ago)

Zombie Harrassment

  1. Doc Python said "*lights smoke, takes long drag* So, how's the being dead business today? Being alive ain't much better these days. There was a bit of a scrap inside earlier when a package of hot dogs was discovered that were still edible." (5 hours and 42 minutes ago)
  2. Dupek2 killed a zombie. (5 hours and 40 minutes ago)
  3. Doc Python said "Yeah, I can't say I didn't try and murder a dude for a few of those. Canned corn can only go so far you know?" (5 hours and 37 minutes ago)
  4. Doc Python said "*takes one last long drag off of smoke, flicks it and it bounces off nearest zombie's head* Kay, fellas, time to go back in. I'd like to see a proper siege today." (5 hours and 34 minutes ago)

Note: Dupek - "Asshole" in polish

Love Triangle

PerpetuallyDead said "Oh, Zesty, dear, we must make a future date, mustn't we? I was your first, and that's so sweet!" (56 minutes ago) PerpetuallyDead killed Lt Zest. (52 minutes ago)

PerpetuallyDead said "Oooh! Do you think it was something I said?" (52 minutes ago)

A Reasonable Excuse

Robert Longbough said "Father Joseph, I hope you forgive my extended abscence, but I had a big struggle to get back here with limbs intact" (8 hours and 42 minutes ago)

Plans Have Been On File...

  • 27.35 MHz: "Attention! Attention! This is your local representative" (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "from Ryker & Emerson Demolition: Restoring Unsafe Masonry." (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "Due to a cracked foundation, faulty wiring, and a severe" (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "survivor infestation, the Latrobe Building (NT) has" (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "officially been designated Unsafe. Everyone is urged to" (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "avoid sleeping in it, or even avoid going into it, so that" (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "we can board it up and requisition the bulldozer. The sooner" (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "we tear down the old one, the sooner a shiny new Latrobe can" (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "be built. So please, help us help Malton, and leave the" (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "Latrobe Building as soon as possible." (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "Ryker & Emerson Demolition is working hard to restore Malton" (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "to its pre-quarantine beauty." (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "There are some who are resisting our request, and refusing" (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "May I remind you all that our paperwork is all in order." (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "There's no point in acting all surprised about it. All the" (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "planning charts and demolition orders have been on display" (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "in your local planning department on Alpha Centauri for" (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "fifty of your Earth years, so you've had plenty of time to" (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "lodge any formal complaint and it's far too late to start" (yesterday)
  • 27.35 MHz: "making a fuss about it now." (yesterday)

Hopeless

  • Marionette Owl said "Indeed it has Brother Cohen. It is by God's great will that we should meet once more. Your presence is a beacon of hope for all who are virtuous." (11 hours and 26 minutes ago)
  • CorporealFluid killed Lt Bill Cohen. (2 hours and 43 minutes ago)
  • CorporealFluid said "No Hope!" (2 hours and 43 minutes ago)

Wrong Zombie

  • incarna said "Dieeee!" (10 hours and 11 minutes ago)
  • incarna shot you with a pistol for 4 damage. (10 hours and 10 minutes ago)
  • incarna said "oh gawd the pain, the pain!" (10 hours and 10 minutes ago)
  • incarna shot you with a pistol for 4 damage. (10 hours and 9 minutes ago) ...and again.
  • incarna said "is this the end of zombie hunter incarna?!" (10 hours and 9 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Graagh." (10 hours and 9 minutes ago)
  • incarna shot you with a pistol for 4 damage. (10 hours and 9 minutes ago)
  • A zombie killed incarna. (10 hours and 8 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Graaaagh!" (10 hours and 8 minutes ago)

The Dangers of Trick or Treating Alone

  1. scrapper11 knocked loudly on the door. (1 hour and 29 minutes ago)
  2. scrapper11 said "Trick or Treat!!!" (1 hour and 29 minutes ago)
  3. scrapper11 knocked loudly on the door. (1 hour and 28 minutes ago) ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. (1 hour and 27 minutes ago) ...and again. (1 hour and 27 minutes ago)
  4. xxxflarexxx killed a zombie. (47 minutes ago)
  5. A zombie killed scrapper11. (25 minutes ago)
  6. A zombie thumped loudly on the door. (4 minutes ago)

Paratrooper Zed

  1. DJTS killed a zombie. (16 hours and 18 minutes ago)
  2. AvauntE said "My goodness, that Zombie had a Parachute on its back!." (15 hours and 34 minutes ago)
  3. Target Zombie said "What? Impossible!" (exactly 15 hours ago)

Zedman

A zombie said "Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na" A zombie said "Baman!"

Someone's bitter...

Btz said "I almost got enough XP for a skill. I almost killed the guy. But no! You just HAD to revive me! You fucking harman!" (3 hours and 36 minutes ago)

Illness

Brosch said "*koff* I... I don' feel so good..." (10 hours and 1 minute ago)

Brosch died from an infection. (exactly 10 hours ago)

A zombie said "Brnhr." (exactly 10 hours ago)

Malton Orgies

  • Kalir said "The problem with those orgies is when some guy with a shotgun budges in, and then BAM, necrophilia."

Witnessed by —Hinoa talk.un

Zombie Art

  • A zombie said ".......BRAA!NZ!.................AAAAAAAHH!" (4 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "...BBB....................BBB..................." (4 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said ".BBBBB.................BBBBB.................." (4 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said ".BBBB...................BBBB..................." (4 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "..BB......................BB....................." (3 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "BBBBBBBBBB.......BBBBBBB......BB........." (3 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "BBBBBBBBBB.....B....BBB..BB..BB..........." (3 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "BBB..............BB....BBB....BB.............." (3 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "BBB...............BB...BBB....................." (3 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "BB.BB.................BB...BB.................." (3 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "BB...BB...............BB.....BB................" (3 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "BB.....BB............BB........BB.............." (3 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "BB.......BB.........BB........BB..............." (3 minutes ago)

Leader of the 'Sards

Witnessed by Doc Ryleigh at Thompson Mall.

  • The 'Sard Leader said "Hi all! I'm the Leader of the 'Sards, a racist cult operating out of Frossard PD a few blocks south of here. We're taking over this mall, you all need to clear out. Now, please!" (51 minutes ago)
  • Blue Moon killed The 'Sard Leader. (33 minutes ago)

Exclamations of a PKer

  • LunarNocturne killed Jesus The Carpenter. (1 hour and 12 minutes ago)
  • LunarNocturne said "Don't worry. He'll rise in three days. AS A ZOMBIE. BARHAH!" (1 hour and 12 minutes ago)
  • LunarNocturne killed rochopper3. (1 hour and 11 minutes ago)
  • LunarNocturne said "GET TO DA ROCHOPPA!"

The Return of the ULC

Witnessed by Dux Ducis on 10:02, 23 June 2007 (BST) at Caiger Mall

  • Keane said "To be back home in the Upper Left Corner again...it brings a tear to my eye..." (8 hours and 12 minutes ago)
  • Keane said "I have been gone from here for far to long...let the ULC reclaim it's former glory..." (8 hours and 5 minutes ago)
  • a lab monkey said "King Keane, I have heard so many stories of your regalness. Allow me to introduce myself." (5 hours and 23 minutes ago)
  • a lab monkey said "I am a lab monkey, simian extraordinaire, and flinger of faeces." (5 hours and 22 minutes ago)
  • a lab monkey said "I consider myself an ambassdor for apekind, and a gift to the poor unfortunates of Malton." (5 hours and 21 minutes ago)
  • Keane said "Greetings sir, but those familiar with ULC lore know I gave up the crown to be with the woman I loved several months ago. She turned out to be a manniquin, so I have returned as a commoner to spread joi de vivre in malton again!" (5 hours and 3 minutes ago)
  • a lab monkey said "Yes I knew that. But there's nothing wrong with a bit of mannequin love. I partake myself, occasionally." (4 hours and 46 minutes ago)
  • Doc Python said "Wow. What's with the spray snappage? Guess it's time I showed up. My leige, it is good to see you again." (4 hours and 40 minutes ago)
  • Doc Python said "Time to crack open a bottle and do some ass kicking." (4 hours and 38 minutes ago)
  • Keane said "Indeed it is. Doc Python, my loyal subject, to the liquor store! Posthaste! Congac is for royality!" (4 hours and 31 minutes ago)
  • Doc Python said "*rubs eyes, squints, lights a smoke* Hot damn! You are real! Congac coming up post haste! *puts on shades, makes the punk rock sign, dives through remaing store front glass of Liquor Store*" (4 hours and 26 minutes ago)
  • goon squad said "Is ULC back? Call the Queen por favor." (4 hours and 26 minutes ago)
  • goon squad said "I nominate UD&D. But tomorrow, I'm AP-less." (4 hours and 23 minutes ago)
  • Keane said "Let us sing and rejoyce tonight, for the ULC shall be born anew!" (4 hours and 21 minutes ago)
  • Doc Python said "*screams from inside Liquor Store* Somebody help me! Once I go in this place, I always have trouble getting out! Seriously! I need one more bottle! Where is it!?!" (4 hours and 13 minutes ago)
  • Doc Python said "*drops from vent above the mobile phone kiosk, crashes into it, stumbles off* Okay, no prob. Here's your congac. I found a nice couple of bottles of red. Is it wine? Don't know. But it's in a bottle, so cheers. Also, irc is getting some love now, Go!" (4 hours and 3 minutes ago)
  • Keane said "Doc Python! Ask yourself what's more important: More booze or your life! And then throw the booze out to us!" (4 hours and 3 minutes ago)
  • Doc Python said "Hey, beef riprock, ever been to Old Arkham?" (3 hours and 50 minutes ago)
  • Keane said "We need some party music! *plays 'Christmas Shoes' over the loudspeakers* Dance party!" (3 hours and 49 minutes ago)
  • Doc Python said "Snap. Now it's a dance party.where are the fly honeys? Attention fly honeys, no, not you maggotz, time to be booty shakin. This is very important and will go on your permanant record if you do not. And the ULC keeps -STRICT- records on the subject." (3 hours and 45 minutes ago)
  • Keane said "The fly honeys are feeding master blech. But quickly! Continue dancing! The narrator is about to give the kid three dollars so he can buy his dying mother some shoes that she will never be able to wear!" (3 hours and 40 minutes ago)
  • Doc Python said "*foot begins to tap to the beat* I think the music is working. Everyone! Be warmed! 45 minutes from now, grindage may happen. This is the kind of grindage that is like splash damage from a grenade, so those who value their safety, please move away!" (3 hours and 38 minutes ago)
  • Chris Masanori said "Hello Caiger!! And OMG, it's Bonaduece!" (3 hours and 25 minutes ago)
  • Chris Masanori said "Go for it. XD" (3 hours and 22 minutes ago)
  • Chris Masanori said "Come on! You can do better than that! It needs to pierce the whale fat, dearest queenie!" (3 hours and 18 minutes ago)
  • Chris Masanori said "Hey, Tin Tin, could you tell Sarah that her grandmother is shooting me with a pistol?" (3 hours and 18 minutes ago)
  • Chris Masanori said "*yawn* Give up?" (3 hours and 17 minutes ago)
  • Chris Masanori said "Oh, wait, no, I guess not." (3 hours and 17 minutes ago)
  • Chris Masanori said "Come on! Use a shotgun! Or a flare gun! Pistols are whimpy!" (3 hours and 16 minutes ago)
  • Chris Masanori said "Class act. You won. :-)" (3 hours and 16 minutes ago)
  • S Aline killed Chris Masanori. (3 hours and 15 minutes ago)
  • S Aline said "Chris Masanori was a wanted PKer. And to clarify, I was using a shotgun...his fat kept acting like a flak jacket.." (3 hours and 14 minutes ago)
  • Doc Python said "Wow. I'm surprised a turd golem wouldn't protect him. How ironic." (3 hours and 10 minutes ago)
  • S Aline said "Well, he is a turd. Both of them are, actually." (3 hours and 5 minutes ago)
  • a lab monkey said "the turd golem is still fresh. He's unable to kill for fun or profit." (3 hours and 2 minutes ago)

Pet Mart

Witnessed by Kouchpotato in the Blackmore Building, Ridleybank

  1. Iron Can killed a zombie. (7 minutes ago)
  2. cheeseaholic said "If that zombie gets in here again, I say we keep it as a pet." (2 minutes ago

Things you never want to hear

Witnessed by Arthur Patstone in Tompson Mall, 6/14/07.

  1. Shinji the 3rd Child said "Oh God! That was too close!" (exactly 16 hours ago)
  2. Shinji the 3rd Child said "**Hugs Asuka** Asuka I'm scared! I don't want us to die just after finding each other again!" (15 hours and 52 minutes ago)
  3. Asuka Langley Sohryu said "Shinji!...Fuck." (15 hours and 50 minutes ago)
  4. Asuka Langley Sohryu said "Pull yourself together, Third Child. We've got zombies to kill!" (15 hours and 49 minutes ago)
  5. Asuka Langley Sohryu said "I took care of a zombie at Hind Crescent." (15 hours and 45 minutes ago)
  6. Asuka Langley Sohryu said "**Kisses Shinji** We're not gonna die, Baka-Shinji. We'll get through this." (15 hours and 43 minutes ago)
  7. Shinji the 3rd Child said "Okay...okay." (15 hours and 41 minutes ago)
  8. Rei Ayanami III said "Asuka, next time you and Shinji make love, keep it down. I had much difficulty in finding sleep last night." (15 hours and 32 minutes ago)
  9. Rei Ayanami III said "I was in the southwest corner of the mall, and yet I could still hear both of you screech like two wild monkeys in heat." (15 hours and 29 minutes ago)
  10. Rei Ayanami III said "I found it very...disturbing." (15 hours and 28 minutes ago)
  11. Dead Idi Amin said "They would not dare to perform such obscene acts in front of The Great Idi Amin!" (15 hours and 28 minutes ago)
  12. Rei Ayanami III said "I am scarred for life...I will be pouring sulfuric acid down my ear cananls now." (15 hours and 27 minutes ago)
  13. Rei Ayanami III said "I apologize Mr. Amin, but they did...All throughout the previous night." (15 hours and 26 minutes ago)
  14. Dead Idi Amin said "Why do you continue to babble of these things?" (15 hours and 25 minutes ago)
  15. Dead Idi Amin said "I see......must have been in the video store...." (15 hours and 25 minutes ago)
  16. Dead Idi Amin said "I find myself lost in the disney section." (15 hours and 24 minutes ago)
  17. Rei Ayanami III said "However, I do not think obscene is the correct word...they locked the door behind them, and it cannot be obscene if they truly love each other." (15 hours and 24 minutes ago) A flare was fired 1 block to the north. (15 hours and 23 minutes ago) A flare was fired 1 block to the east and 1 block to the north. (15 hours and 22 minutes ago)
  18. Dead Idi Amin said "Do not make me stoop to base action, my friend. Be joyed that The Great Idi Amin has graced you with these words and you have lived to tell the tale." (15 hours and 21 minutes ago)
  19. Rei Ayanami III said "Do not harm either of them, Mr. Amin. Being too loud is not a crime deserving of death...a punch in the face, however, is a more fitting punishment." (15 hours and 19 minutes ago)
  20. Rei Ayanami III said "Mr. Wad, I have seen Shinji use a Desert Eagle, as well as a few Section-2 agents. I have shot a Desert Eagle as well, and would not recommend shooting such a weapon one-handed." (15 hours and 13 minutes ago)
  21. Rei Ayanami III said "I am certain that it is a good way to inadvertantly break your wrist." (15 hours and 12 minutes ago)
  22. the wad said "*smiling lecherously* why don't you come with me to the petstore over there and I'll show you how it's done..." (15 hours and 10 minutes ago)

Look On the Bright Side...

Witnessed by Specialist290 in the Went Building, Stanbury Village

  1. Private Someone said "Some things in life are bad" (4 hours and 10 minutes ago)
  2. Private Someone said " They can really make you mad" (4 hours and 10 minutes ago)
  3. Private Someone said " Other things just make you swear and curse." (4 hours and 10 minutes ago)
  4. Private Someone said " When you're chewing on life's gristle" (4 hours and 10 minutes ago)
  5. Private Someone said " Don't grumble, give a whistle" (4 hours and 10 minutes ago)
  6. Private Someone said " And this'll help things turn out for the best..." (4 hours and 9 minutes ago)
  7. Private Someone said "And...always look on the bright side of life... *Whistle*" (4 hours and 9 minutes ago)
  8. Private Someone said " Always look on the light side of life...*Whistle*" (4 hours and 9 minutes ago)
  9. Private Someone said "If life seems jolly rotten" (4 hours and 9 minutes ago)
  10. Private Someone said " There's something you've forgotten" (4 hours and 9 minutes ago)
  11. Private Someone said " And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing." (4 hours and 8 minutes ago)
  12. Private Someone said " When you're feeling in the dumps" (4 hours and 8 minutes ago)
  13. Private Someone said " Don't be silly chumps" (4 hours and 8 minutes ago)
  14. Private Someone said " Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing." (4 hours and 8 minutes ago)
  15. Private Someone said "And...always look on the bright side of life... *Whistle*" (4 hours and 8 minutes ago)
  16. Private Someone said " Always look on the light side of life..." (4 hours and 8 minutes ago)
  17. Private Someone said "For life is quite absurd" (4 hours and 7 minutes ago)
  18. Private Someone said " And death's the final word" (4 hours and 7 minutes ago)
  19. Private Someone said " You must always face the curtain with a bow." (4 hours and 7 minutes ago)
  20. Private Someone said " Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin" (4 hours and 7 minutes ago)
  21. Private Someone said " Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow." (4 hours and 7 minutes ago)
  22. Private Someone said "So always look on the bright side of death *Whistle*" (4 hours and 7 minutes ago)
  23. Private Someone said " Just before you draw your terminal breath*Whistle*" (4 hours and 6 minutes ago)
  24. Private Someone said "Life's a piece of shit" (4 hours and 6 minutes ago)
  25. Private Someone said " When you look at it" (4 hours and 6 minutes ago)
  26. Private Someone said " Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true." (4 hours and 6 minutes ago)
  27. Private Someone said " You'll see it's all a show" (4 hours and 6 minutes ago)
  28. Private Someone said " Keep 'em laughing as you go" (4 hours and 6 minutes ago)
  29. Private Someone said "ust remember that the last laugh is on you." (4 hours and 6 minutes ago)
  30. Private Someone said "And always look on the bright side of life...*Whistle*" (4 hours and 5 minutes ago)
  31. Private Someone said " Always look on the right side of life... *Whistle*" (4 hours and 5 minutes ago)
  32. Private Someone said " Always look on the bright side of life...*Whistle*" (4 hours and 5 minutes ago) ...and again. ...and again. (4 hours and 4 minutes ago)
  33. Private Someone said " Always look on the right side of life...*Whistle*" (4 hours and 4 minutes ago)

An elegant, currently revived female zombie and a gentleman eager to be eaten

  1. OurLadyofBrokenSouls said "It's the -point-. I mean, look at me! He scanned me, and with a profile like that, still revived me! And didn't even toss my body. You guys are all alive now only because we're not a decade from inside kind of horde." (1 hour and 53 minutes ago)
  2. Lester Birling said "Ooooouh, It's an honour to have you here, Mylady. *gently takes her hand and kisses it while taking a bow, traditionally not touching her hand with his lips* *looks up* ... and a special pleasure to me. I'm a huge fan." (1 hour and 49 minutes ago)
  3. OurLadyofBrokenSouls said "Why sir, have I eaten you before? *Feels top of cranium as he's bowed.* Mmm...sadly, in my living state I can't say. *sigh* I'm sure you'd be delicious, though. mm, lawyer brain: a little dry, yet a touch of sparkle from the quick-thinking lies..." (1 hour and 48 minutes ago)
  4. Lester Birling said "Regrettably I didn't get into this enjoyable situation yet - maybe we could arrange a second meeting under this particular premise sometime...?" (1 hour and 48 minutes ago)
  5. OurLadyofBrokenSouls said "Well, I won't persist in this embarrassing condition of life for long. I suppose you could try haunting this hospital for a while. If our current Resident Expert ordains it, we'll be through your walls again. Who knows? *wink* You might get lucky." (1 hour and 46 minutes ago)
  6. Lester Birling said "*smiles slightly* I am really looking forward to this occasion, Mylady." (1 hour and 46 minutes ago)
  7. OverNineThousand said "*giant anime sweatdrop* This is... different..." (1 hour and 43 minutes ago)
  8. Lester Birling said "By the way I have to say I appreciate your love of culture a lot, Mylady. It is a quality rarely found nowadays, presumably due to the... well, condition of this city... Alas, may I dare to invite you to a glass of wine while you're in your human form?" (1 hour and 42 minutes ago)
  9. OurLadyofBrokenSouls said "Now Mr Birling! This city is lovely. Why, we've seen many of it's suburbs on our epicurean tour. And oh! Some of the places we've dined! Simply exquisite. Why, despite what people say about hospital food, up in Shearbank - my my!" (1 hour and 42 minutes ago)
  10. OurLadyofBrokenSouls said "Edmund General - an endless buffet! We ate there three meals a day, and it was always refilled the next time we came in. And so friendly! The harmans would keep on coming in even while we were at dinner." (1 hour and 41 minutes ago)
  11. OurLadyofBrokenSouls said "Really, comparatively, all we've found here is typical cafeteria food... with a few spicy highlights of course, such as Izumi over there who went so far as to beg us to leave him alone... Fear is such tangy sauce!" (1 hour and 41 minutes ago)
  12. OurLadyofBrokenSouls said "And now I've gone and made myself hungry. *pouts.* I think I'd better have some of your wine after all, Mr Birling, as a bit of a tide-me-over until I come back to devour you all." (1 hour and 40 minutes ago)
  13. Lester Birling said "*nods delighted and pours her a glass of wine, hands it over to her* Wine may not be able to meet your high standards considering the taste of brains, I assume, but it is a pleasure nonetheless. " (1 hour and 38 minutes ago)
  14. Lester Birling said "Furthermore, I would be glad if you'd feel like giving some more examples of the fine poetry you admire eventually. *clinks glasses with the Lady* Cheers!" (1 hour and 38 minutes ago)
  15. saito hiraga said "*sweatdrop* oh my... if only all former xombies were this... elegant. i might be persuaded to join the ranks. ah well. i'm quite happy having a heartbeat and working higher brain functions. the haiku is nice though, please continue..." (1 hour and 38 minutes ago)
  16. You heard a loud groaning from very close by. (1 hour and 30 minutes ago)
  17. A zombie gestured at OurLadyofBrokenSouls. (1 hour and 28 minutes ago)
  18. Drake Remore killed a zombie. (1 hour and 20 minutes ago)
  19. Sammy Chan said "Well it does seem strange...... that even with the sudden over run of Malton Necrotech was able to create a cure for the disease" (1 hour and 19 minutes ago)
  20. Katla killed a zombie. (1 hour and 19 minutes ago)
  21. You heard a loud groaning from very close by. (1 hour and 17 minutes ago)
  22. A zombie destroyed the generator. (1 hour and 14 minutes ago)
  23. Eld Ritch killed a zombie. (1 hour and 12 minutes ago)
  24. OurLadyofBrokenSouls said "It's my horde, my beautiful horde! *claps!" (1 hour and 10 minutes ago)
  25. OurLadyofBrokenSouls said "Oh dear. You really should just embrace it, you know. None of those pesky needs of life... eat all you want without getting fat..." (1 hour and 10 minutes ago)
  26. OurLadyofBrokenSouls said "Oh, and meet TheZombieLama. This is one of my zethren! Really, the combat revives we've been getting around here are quite chronic - all these people poking us without asking our permission! Not a very safe neighbourhood at all..." (1 hour and 9 minutes ago)
  27. Izumi Orimoto said "LadyofBrokenSouls...why do you have to be suuuuu mean? _" (1 hour and 8 minutes ago)
  28. OurLadyofBrokenSouls said "Since I've had some requests... *blushes and clears throat.*" (1 hour and 8 minutes ago)
  29. Izumi Orimoto said "And Ima girl." (1 hour and 8 minutes ago)
  30. OurLadyofBrokenSouls said "unghllungngfuuhhnga-/ grhhhrccckherrrrmnglzli/ (chomp) mtoss... huuuuuughhh" (1 hour and 7 minutes ago)
  31. Izumi Orimoto said "And Ima girl." (1 hour and 7 minutes ago)
  32. OurLadyofBrokenSouls said "Ah, Izumi dear, we're not mean. Just... Hungry!" (1 hour and 7 minutes ago)
  33. Izumi Orimoto said "And Ima girl." (1 hour and 7 minutes ago)
  34. Izumi Orimoto said "But we want to live! Just go eat someone else...♥" (1 hour and 6 minutes ago)
  35. OurLadyofBrokenSouls said "But we live to eat! Well, not exactly live...but you know what I mean. *wink.* And you're right here, and sleeping in a resource building, which, incidently, is practically like saying you -want- to be devoured since everyone knows they get hit first..." (1 hour and 5 minutes ago)

(...)

  1. OurLadyofBrokenSouls said "Oh now you see, Izumi? Waste of all those FAKS when I take my window dive. And I did promise Mr Birling I'd eat him." (48 minutes ago)
  2. Izumi Orimoto said "You are not nice -///-" (47 minutes ago)
  3. Izumi Orimoto said "But like I said, you are under my protection. I would give my life to save yours, even if you are a wannabe zed." (47 minutes ago)
  4. Izumi Orimoto said "I will noy let any harm come to these people...I can promise you that much." (46 minutes ago)
  5. Cal Jenkins killed a zombie. (44 minutes ago)
  6. Lester Birling said "Dear ladies, please, this is not the time for an argument. We should rather enjoy the time until the horde of our Lady sucessfully penetrates our barricades. Not that I want to imply that the time afterwards wouldn't be enjoyable, though..." (40 minutes ago)
  7. Lester Birling said "... but the wine we are drinking at the moment would most assuredly not be the kind of drink the undead usually get to share." (40 minutes ago)
  8. Lester Birling said "*sips his wine casually, leans back relaxing* I'm happy you liked the wine, by the way. In addition, I have to compliment you, Mylady. Enjoyable verses you’re citing, without a doubt." (38 minutes ago)
  9. Lester Birling said "So... i'm awaiting the touch of your skillful claws, Mylady..." (38 minutes ago)
  10. Lester Birling said "... until then, I'll consume some wine and this opus of russian literature I found in the book store. You know... for the extra sparkling. *winks slightly*" (36 minutes ago)
  11. A zombie attacked you for 4 damage. (32 minutes ago)
  12. The zombie's bite was infected! (You'll now take 1HP damage for every action you take, except speaking. Infection can be cured with a first aid kit.) (35 minutes ago)

[...] You are dead.

Randian

  1. Zombie Ayn Rand said "Freud is a hack! Maybe I was better off dead than standing warmly next to this philosophy section." (21 hours and 39 minutes ago)
  2. Zombie Ayn Rand said "Here, take this 1,600 page essay on human motivation I wrote. Real stuff. Transcribed it all out of kiZombie." (21 hours and 37 minutes ago)
  3. deleterious said "why is it people always try to exploit others? this building is a sanctuary and it seems that some people are using it as a way of 'earning' free xp" (21 hours and 31 minutes ago)
  4. Ketchelbank or bust said "Well, Deleterious, according to this 1,600 page essay on human motivation that Zombie Ayn Rand just handed me, people are, and I quote, 'Zarbh!zh azzgrahnz'. That's all it says, really. It just kind of... repeats itself for 1,600 pages..." (21 hours and 12 minutes ago)

The Man Who Says Words in the Wrong Order

  1. Anthony Jackson said "Good doctor morning! Nice year for the time of day!" (9 hours and 41 minutes ago)
  2. Macho Nachos said "::fiddles with his stethoscope, then looks up:: Come in!" (9 hours and 41 minutes ago)
  3. Anthony Jackson said "Can I down sit?" (9 hours and 40 minutes ago)
  4. Macho Nachos said "Certainly. Well, then?" (9 hours and 40 minutes ago)
  5. Anthony Jackson said "Well, now, not going to bush the doctor about the beat too long. I'm going to come to point the straight immediately." (9 hours and 40 minutes ago)
  6. Macho Nachos said "Good, good." (9 hours and 40 minutes ago)
  7. Anthony Jackson said "My particular prob, or buglem bear, I've had ages. For years, I've had it for donkeys." (9 hours and 39 minutes ago)
  8. Macho Nachos said "What?" (9 hours and 39 minutes ago)
  9. Anthony Jackson said "I'm up to here with it, I'm sick to death. I can't take you any longer so I've come to see it." (9 hours and 39 minutes ago)
  10. Macho Nachos said "Ah, now this is your problem with words." (9 hours and 39 minutes ago)
  11. Anthony Jackson said "This is my problem with words. Oh, that seems to have cleared it. 'Oh I come from Alabama with my banjo on my knee'. Yes, that seems to be all right. Thank you very much." (9 hours and 38 minutes ago)
  12. Macho Nachos said "I see. But recently you have been having this problem with your word order." (9 hours and 38 minutes ago)
  13. Anthony Jackson said "Well, absolutely, and what makes it worse, sometimes at the end of a sentence I'll come out with the wrong fusebox." (9 hours and 38 minutes ago)
  14. Macho Nachos said "Fusebox?" (9 hours and 38 minutes ago)
  15. Anthony Jackson said "And the thing about saying the wrong word is a) I don't notice it, and b) sometimes orange water given bucket of plaster." (9 hours and 38 minutes ago)
  16. Macho Nachos said "Yes, tell me more about your problem." (9 hours and 37 minutes ago)
  17. Anthony Jackson said "Well as I say, you'd just be talking and out'll pudenda the wrong word and ashtray's your uncle. So I'm really strawberry about it." (9 hours and 37 minutes ago)
  18. Macho Nachos said "Upset?" (9 hours and 37 minutes ago)
  19. Anthony Jackson said "It's so embarrassing when Will Ingham and I go to an orgy." (9 hours and 36 minutes ago)
  20. Macho Nachos said "A party?" (9 hours and 36 minutes ago)
  21. Anthony Jackson said "No, an orgy. We dwell in Caiger Mall." (9 hours and 35 minutes ago)
  22. Macho Nachos said "Ah. Quite." (9 hours and 35 minutes ago)
  23. Anthony Jackson said ",That's what I said. such a bloody whack the diddle fa di la, fo di la, 1o do di ... do di do, rum fum." (9 hours and 35 minutes ago)
  24. Macho Nachos said "Mr Burrows, this is no common problem; You are suffering from a disease so rare that it hasn't got a name. Not yet. But it will have. Oh yes. This is the opportunity I've been waiting for. The chance of a lifetime!" (9 hours and 34 minutes ago)
  25. Macho Nachos said "::starts to get visibly excited, and leaps out of his chair to stand at the window:: I'll show them at the Royal College of Surgeons! I'll make them sit up and take notice!" (9 hours and 33 minutes ago)
  26. Macho Nachos said "::starts frothing slightly at the lips:: Thripshaw's disease! Discovered by E. Henry Thripshaw MD! I'll be invited on 'Call My Bluff' and on merchandising the E. Henry Thripshaw t-shirt ... I'll turn it into a game ... I'll sell the film rights." (9 hours and 33 minutes ago)

Well-Deserved

  1. Kiiro said "Oh you fucking halfwit, don't talk meds with me I'm a fucking MD/JD, I don't need you fucking shit. And don't think I give a shit about the DEM either, I've been on the Rogue Gallery before, I've paid my fucking dues in bounties, and don't think I won't" (8 hours and 46 minutes ago)
  2. Kiiro said "Fucking do it again just to paste your candy ass. You wanna serve me I say put your money where your mouth is bitch. Shoot me, I fucking dare you. Either of you asshats do it, fucking do it! See where it gets you. Until then fucking shut up." (8 hours and 45 minutes ago)
  3. Kiiro said "Your advice is no more than the blubbering of a stale vagina, and frankly it falls on ears that don't fucking need it. So take a tic tac, go fuck a zombie, and shut the fuck up." (8 hours and 45 minutes ago)
  4. Kiiro said "Oh real clever there wonderbread. sue myself? try I make hundreds of thousands of dollars more than you. and for your information its fucking easy, esay for me. when you're a fucking genius most schooling is easy." (7 hours and 22 minutes ago)
  5. Kiiro said "and you should be thankful that I find the time to play, otherwise who would keep dipshit punks like you in check? thats right, no one. So congrats, even an online sucka like you has managed to earn the slot of time I commit to online games. and yeah," (7 hours and 21 minutes ago)
  6. Kiiro said "I get your sarcasm, and i get that you don't believe me, which is just fine. Your put-on laughter, and your sarcasm are meaningless bitch, because deep down, you know that Life really is a bitch, and people like me will always win, in fact, we have" (7 hours and 20 minutes ago)
  7. Kiiro said "already won. its over. so take a seat bitch, and let your poser partner do the talking, because he at least talks like has a pair, even if sucks just as much as you. Meanwhile, I will make more money than you, be more successful than you, and continue" (7 hours and 19 minutes ago)
  8. Kiiro said "to pwn your ass, both in real life, and fake UD life. Congrats, you suck twice as much as if you had just kept your fat mouth shut. moron." (7 hours and 18 minutes ago)
  9. Kiiro said "Any other takers? Ant you wanna defend your fuckfaced friend here? cuz by Whalberg she can't defend herself. we'll assume it is a she for a moment, you know what with having Bitch in her name and all. Go for it." (7 hours and 14 minutes ago)
  10. The Happy Shopper said "Kiiro, how about a nice big cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP!" (5 hours and 11 minutes ago)
  11. The Happy Shopper killed Kiiro. (5 hours and 11 minutes ago)
  12. The Happy Shopper said "Sorry folks, but some things just have to be done." (5 hours and 11 minutes ago)
  13. Matthew Tucker said "Hahaha, bravo, shopper, bravo!" (4 hours and 2 minutes ago)
  14. Ieronymus said "That was nicely done, Happy Shopper..." (1 hour and 35 minutes ago)
  15. MadMarissa said "OK that was funny! I want happy shopper back!" (30 minutes ago)

Happy 40th, Sgt. Pepper's!

Witnessed by Specialist290 in Bale Mall, Yagoton

  1. The Beatles said "It was twenty years ago today" (1 hour and 19 minutes ago)
  2. The Beatles said "Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play" (1 hour and 19 minutes ago)
  3. The Beatles said "They've been going in and out of style" (1 hour and 19 minutes ago)
  4. The Beatles said "But they're guaranteed to raise a smile" (1 hour and 18 minutes ago)
  5. The Beatles said "So may I introduce to you" (1 hour and 18 minutes ago)
  6. The Beatles said "The act you've known for all these years" (1 hour and 18 minutes ago)
  7. The Beatles said "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" (1 hour and 18 minutes ago)
  8. The Beatles said "Dang it...Ran out of AP. Anyway, happy 40th Release Day Sgt. Peppers. Good night!" (1 hour and 17 minutes ago)

Possible Side-Effects May Include...

Witnessed by Huey P Long in Pooll Crescent Police Department, Eastonwood

  1. Dark Nurse said "Hello Mr. Long, As medical advisor for the !zanbah council it is my duty to inform you that you are opperating on a special medical license since MKII has been outlawed in the republic due to it's many inconvenient Sideeffects." (3 hours and 18 minutes ago)
  2. Dark Nurse said "These commonly include sharp pains, fatigue, nausea and breathing." (3 hours and 17 minutes ago)
  3. Dark Nurse said "If used on a regular basis it may cause loss of creativity and cognitive abilities, loss of proper self awareness and it impedes your ability to judge yourself and your situation correctly." (3 hours and 15 minutes ago)
  4. Dark Nurse said "While under it's effect you should abstain from manipulating large machinery, or hard work. Also for users with plenty of zombantigenes it is not unheard of producing hallucinations and missconceptions such as the strong belief that you are able to fly." (3 hours and 12 minutes ago)
  5. Dark Nurse said "please consult a doctor or medical personal should at any time during your speech you feel the urge to either leave the house via the roof instead of the door or to jump from a high building." (3 hours and 10 minutes ago)
  6. Dark Nurse said "the use of MKII on anyone but the license holder, in this case you, is of course strictly prohibited. Thank you for your time and patience. I will stay here to ensure medical safety." (3 hours and 8 minutes ago)

An English Lesson

Witnessed by Sheltie In the Stockton Museum, Dartside, on April 1

Mad Girl Kiki said "Yo trot man. Your last sentence barely qualifies. Ever heard of semicolons? And what's up with the rather obnoxiously obscure word 'stoat' I know (without reference books) that it refers to a young pig, but I don't think anyone's used it since John ..." (12 hours and 55 minutes ago) Mad Girl Kiki said "...Donne outside the animal husbandry business. And that hyphen ... pfffft. Puh-lease. Try three hyphens and make it a dash. Have the courage of your convictions!"

Editor's note: "Stoat" refers to a type of weasel, which may have been a mispelling of shoat.

No Rest For The Weary

Witnessed by Mold in the Daubeney Building, East Becktown, March 21 2007

A zombie said "Grrrrh.....mah Zzzz an maran harmanz bang-bang! Ha ranzag, mah Zzzz aga!n"

Magna Carta and spam

Witnessed by Grimallq in the Whatmore Building, Yagoton, 7 Mar. 2007

  1. Climate Change said "Let them die, die I tell ya, let them DIE DIE DIE" (11 hours and 9 minutes ago)
  2. Climate Change said "The Magna Carta - was it a document signed at Runnymede in 1215 by King John pledging independence to the English barons, or was it a piece of chewing gum on a bedspread in Dorset?" (11 hours and 1 minute ago)
  3. Climate Change said "The latter idea is the brainchild of a man new to the field of historical research. Mr Badger, why - why are you on this programme?" (11 hours and 1 minute ago)
  4. Climate Change said "(Pull back to show Mr Badger. He wears a flat cap and has a Scots accent)" (exactly 11 hours ago)
  5. Macho Nachos said "No, No, No! This is positively the silliest sketch we've ever done! NOBODY expects the Maltonian Inquisition to be silly, of all things! Let's start again! Come on, you lot, out! Out!" (10 hours and 59 minutes ago)
  6. Anthony Jackson said "You sit here, dear." (10 hours and 57 minutes ago)
  7. Anthony Jackson said "(to Waitress) Morning!" (10 hours and 56 minutes ago)
  8. Climate Change said "Morning!" (10 hours and 55 minutes ago)
  9. Anthony Jackson said "Well, what've you got?" (10 hours and 55 minutes ago)
  10. Climate Change said "Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;" (10 hours and 54 minutes ago)
  11. Macho Nachos said "::watches the goings on with interest, and starts to chant:: Spam... spam... spam spam spam...." (10 hours and 54 minutes ago)
  12. Climate Change said "...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam..." (10 hours and 54 minutes ago)
  13. Macho Nachos said "::breaks into song:: Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!" (10 hours and 53 minutes ago)
  14. Climate Change said "...or Lobster Thermidor au Crevettes with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam spam spam spam brains sausage bacon and spam." (10 hours and 53 minutes ago)
  15. Climate Change said "Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it." (10 hours and 52 minutes ago)
  16. Fisu said "I don't want ANY spam!" (10 hours and 52 minutes ago)
  17. Macho Nachos said "Oh, BUGGER. and dropped his microphone. Feedback filled the room. We've lost a cast member! Cardinal Fisu! Make your voice heard, son!" (10 hours and 51 minutes ago)
  18. Anthony Jackson said "Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?" (10 hours and 50 minutes ago)
  19. Fisu said " THAT'S got spam in it!" (10 hours and 50 minutes ago)
  20. Anthony Jackson said "Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?" (10 hours and 49 minutes ago)
  21. Macho Nachos said "::blushes profusely, but perks up when he hears about spam again:: Spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam!" (10 hours and 49 minutes ago)
  22. Fisu said "Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?" (10 hours and 49 minutes ago)
  23. Climate Change said "Urgghh!" (10 hours and 48 minutes ago)
  24. Macho Nachos said "Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam!" (10 hours and 48 minutes ago)
  25. Fisu said "What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!" (10 hours and 48 minutes ago)
  26. Macho Nachos said "Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spam! Lovely Spam! Spam Spam Spaaaaam!" (10 hours and 48 minutes ago)
  27. Climate Change said "Shut up!" (10 hours and 48 minutes ago)
  28. Macho Nachos said "Loverly Spaaam! Wonderful Spaaam! Lovely SPAAAM!" (10 hours and 47 minutes ago)
  29. Climate Change said "Shut up! Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam." (10 hours and 47 minutes ago)
  30. Fisu said "'I don't like spam!' and then yelled I don't bloody well like spam! I want my brains without spam!" (10 hours and 47 minutes ago)
  31. Anthony Jackson said "Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam brains and spam!" (10 hours and 47 minutes ago)
  32. Macho Nachos said "Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!" (10 hours and 46 minutes ago)
  33. Climate Change said "Shut up!! Baked beans are off." (10 hours and 46 minutes ago)
  34. Anthony Jackson said "Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?" (10 hours and 45 minutes ago)
  35. Climate Change said "You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)" (10 hours and 45 minutes ago)
  36. Macho Nachos said "::breaks into elaborate song:: Spam, spam, spam, spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spaaam! Lovely spam! Wonderful spam. Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am! Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am! Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am! Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am! Lovely spam! (Lovely spam!) Lovely spam! (Lovely spam!)" (10 hours and 45 minutes ago)
  37. Climate Change said "Spam, spam, spam, spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spaaam! Lovely spam! Wonderful spam. Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am! Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am! Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am! Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am! Lovely spam!" (10 hours and 44 minutes ago)
  38. Fisu said "It is said in the bible that pigs are filthy animals and you shouldn't eat pig! You lot are all hertics! HERESY IN WHATMORE! Bloody heretics! I DON'T LIKE SPAM!" (10 hours and 44 minutes ago)
  39. Macho Nachos said "Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am! Lovely spam! (Lovely spam!) Lovely spam! (Lovely spam!) Lovely spaaam! Spam, spam, spam, spaaaaam!" (10 hours and 44 minutes ago)
  40. Fisu killed Anthony Jackson. (10 hours and 43 minutes ago)
  41. Fisu killed Climate Change. (10 hours and 41 minutes ago)
  42. Fisu said "I HATE SPAM! I HATE YOU ALL! DIE DIE DIE! In the name of the Lord, naturally." (10 hours and 41 minutes ago)
  43. Macho Nachos said "SPAM SPAM SPAAAAAAM!" (10 hours and 40 minutes ago)
  44. Fisu killed Macho Nachos. (10 hours and 39 minutes ago)
  45. Fisu said "Phew. They're dead. That's done with. Anyone else have SPAM on them? Come on, I'll get you all, singlehandedly!" (10 hours and 38 minutes ago)
  46. A zombie said "ZBAM ZBAM ZBAAAAM, Zb-hra-hra-hra-hra-hra-am, Naaz ZBAM, hangrah ZBAM, ahm ganna hab Zbam, Zbam, Zbam, bra!nbargarz, Zbam, ZBAM ahn MAAR ZBAM! HAR HAR!" (10 hours and 38 minutes ago)
  47. Fisu said "Oh. No. Oh GOD no. Oh shit oh shit oh shit. It still goes on. This is hell, HELL I tell you! I must destroy it! DESTROY! But I can't! I don't have the energy. Of God this sucks." (10 hours and 37 minutes ago)
  48. A zombie said "Zambah ZBAAAM, Harmanz ZBAAAM, mah hranz, hab ZBAM! Zbam, zbam, zbam, zbam! Hangrah? ZBAM! Zbam Zbam -zbam- ZBAAAAM! Zbaaammmm... Grh. Zangah! Zangah, mah harmanz hranz! Nah bang mah bra!nz naah! Hranz?" (10 hours and 36 minutes ago)
  49. Fisu said "The Spam is getting to me... the smell, it's just . . . so GOOD. It's like... oh it's not like anything. It's SPAM! Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam SpAaaAAaAaaam! Mighty SPAM! Wonderful Spaaam! Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spaaaaaaaaam!" (10 hours and 35 minutes ago)
  50. Fisu said "Anyone care for some spam?" (10 hours and 34 minutes ago)
  51. Gods Worrior revivified a zombie. (10 hours and 29 minutes ago)
  52. Rockby Quickfoot said "Well I'll be flabbergasted. Ron Burgandy himself! Been a while since I've seen you Ron. G" (9 hours and 23 minutes ago)
  53. Rockby Quickfoot said "G'day there, is what I meant to say. Accidently hit Enter :/ Anywho, your hair is looking good, and hello to the rest of the C4NT and Renton inside. I saw Rheinhold up in the Mall too. This is just a grand ole reunion :D" (9 hours and 22 minutes ago)
  54. HereticSoul said "Don't freakin combat res!" (8 hours and 27 minutes ago)
  55. jojomofo said "8 zedss in the warehouse 1 north" (exactly 8 hours ago)
  56. Kingofhar said "Barricaded at Hinks, 8 zombies, about 7 survivors" (7 hours and 48 minutes ago)
  57. deadghoul said "Maxime is at the front of the queue again. Someone please kill again so I can get back to reviving. Thanks." (7 hours and 14 minutes ago)
  58. Gasbandit said "Right! Stop that, Fisu. It's silly. It started off as a nice historical piece about the magna carta, but now it's just gotten silly! And a bit suspect, I think. Time for a cartoon!" (7 hours and 10 minutes ago)

link title

Downey at Dowdney

Heard in Dowdney Mall, Santlerville, 25 Feb. 2007, soon after the mall was laid waste by the Mall Tour. -Sweetirony 06:53, 26 February 2007 (UTC)

  1. The Snuggle Bear said "downy is dead YEA downy is dead YEA downy is dead YEA downy is dead" (5 hours and 1 minute ago)
  2. Jason McBride killed a zombie. (4 hours and 57 minutes ago)
  3. The Snuggle Bear said "do you work for Downey?" (4 hours and 57 minutes ago)
  4. The Snuggle Bear said "he ran away. He must work for Downei Mall. I'll go and kill him." (4 hours and 55 minutes ago)
  5. The Snuggle Bear said "oh your back... so is it true" (4 hours and 55 minutes ago)
  6. Jason McBride said "whats that?" (4 hours and 55 minutes ago)
  7. The Snuggle Bear said "are you one of THEM" (4 hours and 55 minutes ago)
  8. Jason McBride said "no way...i'm here to help fight the zeds" (4 hours and 54 minutes ago)
  9. The Snuggle Bear said "a Downey employee of course!!! The ones who started it all." (4 hours and 54 minutes ago)
  10. Jason McBride said "low on ap pulling back" (4 hours and 54 minutes ago)

Let's Look and See...

Witnessed by Specialist290 in the Latrobe Building, Darvall Heights.

  1. p bro said "is this place still under attack??" (22 minutes ago) ...and again. (21 minutes ago)
  2. Deitykiller said "Attention survivors of Latrobe. yomommason, currently in this building is also a reoprted pker check http://ud-malton.info/PK_list.cgi for yourself, someone has to kill him as I do not have enough ap and follow the proper reporting procedure on brainstock" (18 minutes ago)
  3. Fvza Stars said "lol P bro there's only 170 zombies outside" (17 minutes ago)
  4. p bro said "okay thanks I'll go kill some" (16 minutes ago)

Good Vibrations?

Witnessed by Specialist290 in the Latrobe Building, Darvall Heights.

  1. Max Cola said "Bugger off, zed." (8 hours and 8 minutes ago)
  2. A zombie said "Mrh, man." (8 hours and 7 minutes ago)
  3. Max Cola said "Don't you mrh me, limey." (8 hours and 6 minutes ago)

I don't wanna know

Witnessed by Dustin Jones in Darvall Heights at Hebdidgh Road.

You heard a loud and distant groaning 4 blocks to the west and 1 block to the south. (13 hours and 18 minutes ago) ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. You heard a loud and distant groaning 6 blocks to the west and 2 blocks to the south. (exactly 13 hours ago) ...and again. ...and again. (12 hours and 59 minutes ago) ...and again. (12 hours and 58 minutes ago) ...and again. (12 hours and 32 minutes ago) ...and again. (12 hours and 28 minutes ago) ...and again. (12 hours and 20 minutes ago) ...and again. (12 hours and 20 minutes ago) ...and again. (11 hours and 4 minutes ago) ...and again. (11 hours and 3 minutes ago) ...and again. (11 hours and 3 minutes ago) ...and again. (11 hours and 3 minutes ago) ...and again. (11 hours and 2 minutes ago) ...and again. (11 hours and 1 minute ago) ...and again. (10 hours and 58 minutes ago) ...and again. (10 hours and 53 minutes ago) ...and again. (9 hours and 51 minutes ago) ...and again. (9 hours and 50 minutes ago) disposableextractor extracted a DNA sample from you. (9 hours and 10 minutes ago) You heard a loud and distant groaning 6 blocks to the west and 2 blocks to the south. (8 hours and 54 minutes ago) ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. (7 hours and 48 minutes ago) ...and again. (7 hours and 35 minutes ago) ...and again. (7 hours and 35 minutes ago) ...and again. (7 hours and 20 minutes ago) ...and again. (7 hours and 17 minutes ago) ...and again. (7 hours and 12 minutes ago) ...and again. (7 hours and 12 minutes ago) A flare was fired 14 blocks to the west and 14 blocks to the north. (5 hours and 35 minutes ago) You heard a loud and distant groaning 6 blocks to the west and 2 blocks to the south. (5 hours and 14 minutes ago) ...and again. (4 hours and 20 minutes ago) ...and again. (4 hours and 19 minutes ago) ...and again. (3 hours and 33 minutes ago) ...and again. (3 hours and 33 minutes ago) ...and again. (3 hours and 27 minutes ago) ...and again. (2 hours and 32 minutes ago) ...and again. (1 hour and 42 minutes ago) ...and again. (1 hour and 42 minutes ago) ...and again. (1 hour and 16 minutes ago) ...and again. (1 hour and 16 minutes ago) ...and again. (1 hour and 15 minutes ago) ...and again. (1 hour and 14 minutes ago) You heard a loud and distant groaning 2 blocks to the west and 6 blocks to the north. (1 hour and 13 minutes ago) ...and again. ...and again. You heard a loud and distant groaning 6 blocks to the west and 2 blocks to the south. (1 hour and 6 minutes ago) ...and again. (1 hour and 5 minutes ago) ...and again. (47 minutes ago) ...and again. (47 minutes ago) ...and again. (47 minutes ago) ...and again. (3 minutes ago)

Somone Really Hates Omar

Witnessed by Max Simpson inside the Hildebrand Mall

  1. Adolph Vulva Hilter said "Omar Sharif - yes you, the one in the costume. *Takes out a Barlow knife and scalps Omar - then slices off the front of his pants, exposing Omar's genitals* Wake up . . . time to die." (19 hours and 18 minutes ago)
  2. Adolph Vulva Hilter killed Omar Sharif. (19 hours and 17 minutes ago)

Lesson in Humility

Witnessed by Skyraider Jones while waiting for a revive at Conolly Park in Peppardville

  1. Tihs Rekcik said "When you attack someone, you could at least finish the job, YOU PATHETIC PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!" (yesterday)
  2. Tihs Rekcik said "Your unprofessional behaviour is giving REAL brain-munchers a bad name." (yesterday)
  3. Tihs Rekcik said "There... I just carved my initials on your face, just so you don't forget. Consider yourself Pwned, bitches!" (yesterday)
  4. Tihs Rekcik said "Opps... I forgot you, gregnoid. Here ya go..." (yesterday)
  5. Tihs Rekcik killed a zombie. (yesterday)

Meaning of Christmas

Witnessed by Max Simpson in Roftwood

  • A zombie tore a set of Christmas lights down. (2 days ago) ...and again.
  • A zombie destroyed the tree. (2 days ago)
  • A zombie destroyed the generator. (2 days ago)
  • A zombie tore a set of Christmas lights down. (2 days ago)
  • ikit klaw said "you bastard i'll teach you the meaning of christmas!" (2 days ago)
  • ikit klaw killed a zombie. (2 days ago)

It's Braveheart all over again...

Witnessed and heard by Private Mark of The Abandoned, inside Bale Mall, Yagoton. Private Mark

  • Welsfred said "It seems that we're in a pickle, people. The zeds think they can force us out of our mall. But today I say NO MORE!" (18 minutes ago) ...and again. (17 minutes ago)
  • Welsfred said "Those damned walking corpses think they can HAVE WHAT WE HAVE FOUGHT FOR! NO MORE TO THIS! I SAY WE STAND AND FIGHT THEM TO THE LAST MAN!" (16 minutes ago)
  • Welsfred said "MY BRETHREN WE STAY AND FIGHT, NOT JUST FOR BALE MALL! BUT FOR ACKLAND! FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS DIED UNDER A DAMNED ZED'S HAND!" (15 minutes ago)
  • Welsfred said "WE SHALL NOT GIVE UP! WE SHALL NOT RETREAT! WE WILL PREVAIL!" (14 minutes ago)
  • Welsfred said "FOR VENGEANCE!" (14 minutes ago)
  • Welsfred said "FOR HONOR!" (14 minutes ago)
  • Welsfred said "FOR KRIEG!" (14 minutes ago)

In your face:

Witnessed by Angel Nathan Wild

  • cool nYou said: "Aaah, it's so good to be alive once again! In your face, zombies!" (9 hours and 1 minute ago)
  • cool nYou said: "Hey, WTF happened to my actionpoints? I knew I had 12 before I stood up!!!" (9 hours and 1 minute ago)
  • A zombie said: "Mrh?" (exactly 9 hours ago)
  • A zombie killed cool nYou. (8 hours and 32 minutes ago

Good Night and Good Luck

Witnessed by Jason Newscomb 14 Aug 2006, at Eley Way PD in Greentown.

  • jonah foxvog said "hello??"
  • jonah foxvog said "there are 16 zombies outside and the doors arnt barracaded so i would leave and there is a zombie in here to.i tried to kill it but i cant so good luck"
  • (about twenty lines that read "A zombie killed survivor name.")
  • Trotter9th said "wow you guys are fucked. i can't kill 6 zombies with 15 AP, so uhh... cya"
  • (about twenty more lines that read "A zombie killed survivor name.")
  • A zombie attacked you for 4 damage. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again.

You have been killed.

Giddings Market Research

Witnessed by: Jacob Darrington outside Giddings Mall in Pitneybank, August 3, 2006

  • David Suzuki said "::Walks out of Giddings Mall wearing a neat polo top, holding a clipboard and displaying a badge saying 'Giddings Market Research - my name is David' on his chest::" (20 hours and 1 minute ago)
  • David Suzuki said "Hello, Mr. Zombie! My name's David. I was wondering if I could get a minute of your time to answer a couple of quick questions." (20 hours and 1 minute ago)
  • David Suzuki said "No? Well, OK, but you didn't have to be so rude. They're aimed to improve your experience while visiting Pitneybank and Giddings Mall!" (exactly 20 hours ago)
  • David Suzuki said "Oooh, easy tiger! I'm just here to ask you a couple of questions!" (exactly 20 hours ago)
  • David Suzuki said "Where do you come from? This is important market research!" (19 hours and 59 minutes ago)
  • David Suzuki said "Ow! Nathan, this is very antisocial behaviour! Uh, what's your favourite food?" (19 hours and 59 minutes ago)
  • David Suzuki said "*sighs* They just don't make 'em like they used to." (19 hours and 58 minutes ago)
  • David Suzuki said "I mean, back in the day, zombies would stop for a chat and really exercise those stringy, brittle vocal chords. Now? Too good for that!" (19 hours and 57 minutes ago)
  • David Suzuki said "Too much of a rush to answer some simple questions from an interested survivor. Don't they realise it's for their benefit? Rush, rush, rush!" (19 hours and 57 minutes ago)
  • David Suzuki said "Oh, hi Morbid x! Would you like to answer some market research questions?" (19 hours and 56 minutes ago)
  • morbid x killed a zombie. (19 hours and 56 minutes ago)
  • morbid x said "hah, yeah something like that" (19 hours and 55 minutes ago)
  • David Suzuki said "Come on buddy! It won't take you long! Where did you originate from? Local, or are you just visiting?" (19 hours and 55 minutes ago)
  • morbid x said "i was dropped off here by aliens. and Strapping Young Lad" (19 hours and 54 minutes ago)
  • David Suzuki said "SYL? Whoa, that's... strange. *scribbles on his clipboard* And what's the best activity you've engaged in during your stay in Pitneybank?" (19 hours and 54 minutes ago)
  • morbid x said "yeah i just saw them in concert. before the outbreak of course. but i love helping out. do what i can." (19 hours and 53 minutes ago)
  • morbid x killed a zombie. (19 hours and 52 minutes ago)
  • David Suzuki said "They toured Malton? Oh, man... dang. *looks crestfallen* Uh, do you think anything could be done to improve the facilities at Giddings?" (19 hours and 52 minutes ago)
  • David Suzuki said "::looks down at his shoes, wondering how he missed the concert::" (19 hours and 51 minutes ago)

An Exceedingly Brief Discussion on the Fine Points of Millitary Superiority

Witnessed by: Amazing Hector at St Spyridon's Hospital, August 2006

  • chaplainkroshnir said "Do not fear those stupid zombies! Zombies flee before you will die! (saving my army aps :P ) 9 soldiers are coming to kill you and secure this hospital again!" (2 hours and 1 minute ago)
  • chaplainkroshnir said "Arise, Arise firm survivers, the time to strike has come! One by one the zombies will fall! Now move out and take their pos! HOOAH!" (1 hour and 57 minutes ago)
  • A zombie killed chaplainkroshnir. (1 hour and 55 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "MHrHAHHAH" (1 hour and 54 minutes ago)

Kurt Cobain plays Stanstock

Witnessed by: Arizhel at Stanstock, Dec 2005 (GMT)

  • Kurt'Cobain said "It's nine A.M. on a Saturday/The regular crowd shambles in." (12-04 06:16 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "There's a zombie sitting next to me/Who sadly has lost all of his skin." (12-04 06:17 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "He says, Grrr argh bargh argh argh/Harm argh harma argh har ma bar" (12-04 06:17 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "I wish I understood the poor fella now/But my translator's at home." (12-04 06:17 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "Ar ar ar, ar ar ar ar/Ar ar, arm arm ar ar ar" (12-04 06:17 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "Sing us a song, you're the zombie man/Sing us of human chow." (12-04 06:17 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "Well, we're all in the mood for some brainz right now/But we'll settle for your music somehow." (12-04 06:17 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "Now Tyrant at the bar is a kill of mine/I PK'd him in Owlesleybank" (12-04 06:18 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "And he sometimes misses human hugs and human kisses/But for his love of brains he gives thanks" (12-04 06:18 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "He says, Bill, I believe this is killing me./As the Zombie Hunter headshot him down" (12-04 06:18 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "And though he was right I'll see him tonight/You can't keep a good zombie down" (12-04 06:18 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "Oh, Ar ar ar, ar ar ar ar/Ar ar, arm arm ar ar ar" (12-04 06:18 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "Now Graagh is a former scientist/Who never should've made that drug" (12-04 06:18 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "And he's chompin' on Bobby, who was in the lobby/Of a safehouse that came all unplugged" (12-04 06:19 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "And the COL is practicing politics/As the Vengabeans slowly get stoned/Yes they're sharing a drink they call Server Lag/Which means Kevan's playing alone" (12-04 06:19 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "Sing us a song, you're the zombie man/Sing us of human chow/Well, we're all in the mood for some brainz right now/But we'll settle for your music somehow" (12-04 06:19 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday/And the zombies give me a smile/'Cause they like all my songs and they grunt along/Which really puts a cramp in my style" (12-04 06:19 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "And the zombies, they sound like a Dead film/And the microphone smells like dry blood/And they sit at the bar and put brainz in my jar/And say, Ar, ar ar harm-barg-agh" (12-04 06:19 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "Oh, Ar ar ar, ar ar ar ar/Ar ar, arm arm ar ar ar" (12-04 06:20 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "Sing us a song, you're the zombie man/Sing us of human chow/Well, we're all in the mood for some brainz right now/But we'll settle for your music somehow" (12-04 06:20 GMT)
  • Kurt'Cobain said "That's all, folks. Good night! And if you meet Quinn Iniuit somewhere in your travels, thank him for the lyrics."

Zombies on Strike

Witnessed by Papa Schultz, a long tile ago, outside the Morrish NT Building, Pitneybank, at a crowd of 90 zombies

  1. UrgentSnail said "*walks back with body armor on* There, try to get to me now you damn mugger"
  2. UrgentSnail said "Now anyway, how are you good folks doing tonight?"
  3. UrgentSnail said "Why are you all groaning? Are you upset about something?"
  4. UrgentSnail said "Oh, I get it, you're all necrotech employees on strike! That;'s why there's a large crowd of you out here and I can't get in"
  5. UrgentSnail said "That's it, fight the power my friends. Don't let big corporations get you down! Power to the people!"
  6. UrgentSnail said "Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Necrotech has got to go"
  7. UrgentSnail said "Hey Hey, Ho Ho, Necrotech has got to go!"
  8. UrgentSnail said "*Makes anti-necrotech signs and pamphlets and gives it to the crowd* There you go, now your strike can be complete!"
  9. UrgentSnail said "Hold those signs up proudly (Hey! Stop gnawing on them) and you let the world know how you feel! Medical benefits to all! No harsh labor conditions!"
  10. UrgentSnail said "See that? Your numbers just keep on increasing! That's the spirit. Given enough time, they'll be forced to give in to your demands. All for one, and one for all!"

Horny Zombie

Witnessed by the gropee, Jessica Newberry, on July 12, 2006, outside the Caplan Building, Dartside

  1. A zombie said "Nabarrah! Nabarrah! Ah ahm ganna grab Nabarraz azz!"
  2. The zombie grabbed hold of you!
  3. A zombie said "Ah ahm hra harnrh zambrh!"

Zombie Darwinism

Witnessed by Michael Roberts on July 3, 2006 at Knapp Blvd PD in Ruddlebank.

  1. Zombie Darwin said "Zombie Darwinism" (4 days ago)
  2. Zombie Darwin said "Ooops" (4 days ago)
  3. Zombie Darwin said "Hello Daigouji, I see you killed my old friend Wait for the Trade" (4 days ago)
  4. Zombie Darwin said "Strange, I once encountered both of you at Frossard months ago" (4 days ago)
  5. Frankieplates said "hey zombie darwin...i in need of experience you want me to hit that guy in the corner that you are yelling at" (4 days ago)
  6. Zombie Darwin said "Ahhhhh yes. Happy New Year is not a nice thing to say to someone who was around Tompson back then..." (4 days ago)
  7. Zombie Darwin said "He seems to have left. Him and Wait for the Trade are just people i encountered before" (4 days ago)
  8. Zombie Darwin said "However, battles to the death to determine who is genetically superior DOES further the cause of Zombie Darwinism" (4 days ago)
  9. Zombie Darwin said "Its basically just natural selection with zombies thrown in for shits and giggles" (4 days ago)
  10. Zombie Darwin said "The dumbest humans are eaten by zombies, so that their defective genes are not passed on" (4 days ago)
  11. Zombie Darwin said "I believe that the current zombie outbreak is nothing more than natures way of cleaning up the human gene pool" (4 days ago)
  12. Zombie Darwin said "By removing the stupid from it of course" (4 days ago)
  13. Zombie Darwin said "I'm going to go take a nap" (4 days ago)
  14. Zombie Darwin said "Hello kind zombie!" (4 days ago)
  15. Zombie Darwin said "See everyone. Here was have an instrument of Zombie Darwinism" (4 days ago)
  16. Zombie Darwin said "The zombie has managed to enter the building and will most likely attempt to eat our brains" (4 days ago)
  17. Zombie Darwin said "Now with any luck, the stupid people will have their brains eaten and thus their defective genes will not be passed on" (4 days ago)
  18. Zombie Darwin said "However, it seems that the people here were intelligent enough to secure the door behind the zombie so that more could not get in" (4 days ago)
  19. Zombie Darwin said "Thus, they have earned at least a fighting chance at survival" (4 days ago)
  20. Zombie Darwin said "If you wish to learn more about Zombie Darwinism, consult our website" (4 days ago)
  21. Zombie Darwin said "www.DarwinEatsBrains.com" (4 days ago)

The Fatal Dump

Witnessed by Ybbor on 20:14, 24 June 2006 (BST), inside the lower right corner of Caiger Mall.

  1. Doctor Diabolo said "Oh, man, I shouldn't have eaten that burrito. I think it's been lying around for a year." (2 hours and 12 minutes ago)
  2. Doctor Diabolo said "There's a nasty rumbling in my bowels. I think I'm going to explode." (2 hours and 12 minutes ago)
  3. Doctor Diabolo said "bettinazzi, you said you could help me? Wow. Sure. Open wide, there." (2 hours and 11 minutes ago)
  4. Doctor Diabolo said "* Lowers his bloated pimply white ass cheeks on bettinazzi's face." (2 hours and 11 minutes ago)
  5. Doctor Diabolo said "* Takes a deep breath and gives his intestines a push..." (2 hours and 10 minutes ago)
  6. Doctor Diabolo killed bettinazzi. (2 hours and 10 minutes ago)
  7. Doctor Diabolo said "Oh, shit! Sorry about that! I will remember your valiant sacrifice, bettinazzi, catching my dirty diabolo like that." (2 hours and 9 minutes ago)
  8. Doctor Diabolo said "I have to admit, though, I feel about 15 pounds lighter now." (2 hours and 9 minutes ago)
  9. Doctor Diabolo said "* goes off to find some toilet paper and a new pair of shorts." (2 hours and 9 minutes ago)
  10. 26.01 MHz: "I smell something... funky..." (2 hours and 4 minutes ago)

Late-Night Discussion of Zombies and PKers

Witnessed by Spec290 on May 31, 2006, inside Pippen Auto Repair, Yagoton. (Text censored for mild profanity)

  1. Bill Coen said "Headshot two stenches,one inside, one outside Holsgrove. But whats the cause of the sudden influx of zed numbers to Yagoton?" (18 hours and 12 minutes ago)
  2. Bluemofia said "Minions of the Apaclypse task force I believe." (17 hours and 40 minutes ago)
  3. Bill Coen said "That makes more sense, probably got bored with Bale and started attacking the surrounding buildings. Especially a few days ago at Holsgrove,a good 30-40 people got killed, this was just atfer I woke up too...." (17 hours and 31 minutes ago)
  4. Dog Warrior said "i killed 1 zed outside Hinks but there is still 4 more" (17 hours and 17 minutes ago)
  5. A flare was fired 8 blocks to the west and 13 blocks to the north. (16 hours and 45 minutes ago)
  6. Captain Chronic said "yeah, f**k them man I just got here a few days ago they arent taking my new hangout!" (15 hours and 55 minutes ago)
  7. Randyscott said "1 zed left inside Hinks, the otehr is deader then he was when he entered the PD :)" (15 hours and 7 minutes ago)
  8. Randyscott said "And this just in, Medulla Incredible who I have seen about has gone over to the zeds, he killed a friend at Holsgrove yesterday, wish these guys would pick a side and stay with it" (15 hours and 5 minutes ago)
  9. Bill Coen said "Yeahs,its not fun when the streets are so full you gotta stay barricaded to EHB,but its worse when you still gotta worry about getting capped by some crap-spewing cultist. Last time I checked, zerging doesnt make you a god, just a cheater. Jesus..." (14 hours and 13 minutes ago)
  10. Randyscott said "well with this 6/6/6 bulls**t coming up, I don't know if we should just hunting Pkers and leave the zeds for another time. We could also let some characters go dormant to ride it out" (12 hours and 12 minutes ago)
  11. Bill Coen said "Yeah,to be honest,im going to a nice bounty hunter poulated place for that day, im not taking any chances..." (12 hours and 2 minutes ago)
  12. blackula said "I\'m heading down to Ridleybank to hang out in an unbarricaded building. Stupid a** Zs don\'t check inside unbarricaded buildings and PKers won\'t be down there." (11 hours and 47 minutes ago)

Church of the Resurrection Youth Group

Witnessed by Aussie Clagger May 27 2006, in the a factory in Huntley Heights (north of Parry Drive Fire Station).

Since your last turn:

  1. qy said "Hey guys ... I'm glad you could come to the Church of the Resurrection Youth Group tonight" (05-27 06:48 BST)
  2. qy said "It takes a special young person to be here ... you guys face a lot of peer pressure out there ... and just showing up here shows a great deal of character" (05-27 06:48 BST)
  3. qy said "you might hear your friends saying Sweet Zombie Jesus is stupid or Just give the MFin' zeds a headshot" (05-27 06:48 BST)
  4. qy said "but you guys know what is really cool and are down with the one true master-pimp ... the S-to-the-Z-to-the-J-zizzle" (05-27 06:49 BST)
  5. qy said "I have so much respect for you young people who are strivin' to live the unlife ... with the media just feeding you images of syringes and guns" (05-27 06:49 BST)
  6. qy said "In fact, just yesterday I met a young man who said his friend offered him a shotgun" (05-27 06:50 BST)
  7. qy said "but the young man showed his faith to his friend by saying Nah and ripping his liver out and eating it in front of him" (05-27 06:50 BST)
  8. qy said ".. that is why I like working with the young people ... your faith is so pure and innocent" (05-27 06:50 BST)
  9. qy said "here is a little rap song for you guys who know that SZJ is keepin' it real ..." (05-27 06:50 BST)
  10. qy said "Hey DJ spin that shit ..." (05-27 06:51 BST)
  11. qy said "... CotR ... world famous ... representin' in Malton ..." (05-27 06:51 BST)
  12. qy said "sinnerz be fearin' the Right" (05-27 06:52 BST)
  13. qy said "holed up tight" (05-27 06:52 BST)
  14. qy said "sweat drip drip in the night" (05-27 06:52 BST)
  15. qy said "CotR be poking on through" (05-27 06:52 BST)
  16. qy said "infecting on you" (05-27 06:52 BST)
  17. qy said "life bran' new, when ya get to ya feets" (05-27 06:53 BST)
  18. qy said "no ventricular beats" (05-27 06:53 BST)
  19. qy said "CotR be ownin' da streets" (05-27 06:53 BST)
  20. qy said "chompin' our teeths" (05-27 06:53 BST)
  21. qy said "gnawlin' ya meats" (05-27 06:53 BST)
  22. qy said "seekin' ya heats" (05-27 06:54 BST)
  23. SudsMcDuff said "Thanks, for the rap, qy. Here's mine: Shut the f*** up." (05-27 07:14 BST)
  24. SudsMcDuff killed qy. (05-27 07:15 BST)
  25. Aiden Hodder said "hahahaha, that shut him up." (05-27 07:37 BST)

Mall Policy

Witnessed by Artaxerxes Friday May 26, 2006, in Dowdney Mall.

  1. Ricky Barnes said "anybody wanna heal my ass?" (05-26 15:22 BST)
  2. Joe Shopper said "Hi Ricky. I'm sorry but the Mall's policy strictly forbids beasts of burden from being brought into the store. You'll have to take your ass outside." (05-26 16:47 BST)

Be careful what you wish for

Witnessed by various members of the DOA on May 24, 2006, in Ackland Mall.

  1. Harvey Carlson said "3 zombies??? that's all you've got! I dare you to kill me!" (05-24 18:29 BST)
  2. A zombie killed Harvey Carlson. (05-24 18:30 BST)

Witnessed by Borg Zombie on July 26, 2006, outside Caiger Mall.

  1. Inner Cynic said "Look, whatever it is you're selling, we I don't want it....bloody zombie salesmen..." (1 hour and 3 minutes ago)
  2. A zombie killed Inner Cynic. (1 hour and 1 minute ago)

Spontaneous Poetry Serenade in the Aquarium

Witnessed by Zombie Prairie Dog May 22, 2006, at the Malton Zoo.

  1. Zero Whipple said "Hello, fellows! I'm back again. How about a poetry reading?" (05-22 16:06 BST)
  2. Zero Whipple said "Is it like this // In death's other kingdom // Waking alone // At the hour when we are // Trembling with tenderness // Lips that would kiss // Form prayers to broken stone." (05-22 16:06 BST)
  3. Zero Whipple said "They told me Heraclitus, they told me you were dead." (05-22 16:07 BST)
  4. Zero Whipple said "The brisk fond lackey to fetch and carry, // The true, sick-hearted slave, // Expect him not in the just city // And free land of the grave." (05-22 16:08 BST)
  5. Zero Whipple said "If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, // Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, // Or being hated, don't give way to hating, // And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:" (05-22 16:08 BST)
  6. Zero Whipple said "The body of my brother's son // Stood by me, knee to knee: // The body and I pulled at one rope, // But he said nought to me." (05-22 16:09 BST)
  7. Zero Whipple said "Do not stand at my grave and forever weep. // I am not there; I do not sleep." (05-22 16:09 BST)
  8. Zero Whipple said "**bows** I leave you to your day." (05-22 16:10 BST)

Ode to a Good Cup of Coffee

  1. Astram Loccasin said "Y'know, it's on days like these I wish I could live forever. Rain is falling, making everything seem fresh and new. No decomposing corpses in the gutters and the fog makes all things have a magical quality to them..." (05-20 06:20 BST)
  2. Astram Loccasin said "And the silence. Nothing but the calming sound of falling rain, dripping from your nose and down on the barricades. Every breath you take feels like amillion bucks. I say God damn, it's good to be alive!" (05-20 06:22 BST)
  3. Astram Loccasin said "All I need to make this day perfect is a cup of good ole java. Coffee's getting hard to come by these days. I wish they would drop some more of them supply crates with nothing but coffee in 'em. That, and some marshmallows to keep the munchies at bay..." (05-20 06:24 BST)

Freudian Slip

Witnessed by SweetIrony Saturday May 13, 2006, in Grigg Heights.

  1. DeadCattle said "bzerker the brainrotter is at Riddles Place if any of y'all want to blow him." (05-13 04:02 BST)
  2. DeadCattle said "Away. Blow him away." (05-13 04:03 BST)

eBaumsWorld.com Webmaster Disgraces Self

Witnessed by Collin Curtis 03:36, 11 May 2006 (BST) in Dingley Library, South Blythville.

  1. Eric Bauman VI said "Hey fucking faggots, you fucking SUCK! Why? BECUASE I'M ERIC BAUMAN!!!!! WHOOOOHOOO!!! *jacks off into your mouth*" (05-10 23:28 BST)
  2. Eric Bauman VI said "DO THE BAUMAN! RING RING RING RING RING RING RING, BANANA PHONE!!! DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG DING, BANANA PHOOONE! I GOT THIS FEELING, SOOO APPEALING, FOR US TO GET TOGETHER AND SING, SING!" (05-11 01:36 BST)
  3. Eric Bauman VI said "RING RING RING RING RING RING RING, BANANA PHOONE! DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG DING, BANANA PHOOONE!! ITS NO BOLONIA, ITS NOT A PHONY, MY CELLULAR, BANANULAR PHOONE!" (05-11 01:37 BST)

Padre Romero's Sermon

Witnessed by Artaxerxes Sunday May 7, 2006, in Dowdney Mall.

  1. Padre Romero said "They came to hear him, and to be healed of their diseases; and even those who were tormented by unclean spirits were cured. Everyone in the crowd sought to touch him because power came forth from him and healed them all" (05-07 01:55 BST)
  2. Padre Romero said "And raising his eyes toward his disciples, he said:" (05-07 01:56 BST)
  3. Padre Romero said "Blessed are you who are low on ammo, for the kingdom of god is yours...blessed are you who are now infected, for you will be healed...blessed are you who are now weeping, for you will laugh..." (05-07 01:57 BST)
  4. Padre Romero said "blessed are you who have been PKed, and those excluded and barricaded out, and those denounced as noobs, Rejoice and leap for joy on that day!" (05-07 01:58 BST)
  5. Padre Romero said "Behold! your reward will be great, for the more experienced players were once treated the same way...but woe to you who are griefers" (05-07 01:59 BST)
  6. Padre Romero said "for you have recieved your consolation, but woe to you who PK now, for you will be Pked" (05-07 02:00 BST)
  7. Padre Romero said "Woe to you who destroy generators now, for you will walk forever in darkness" (05-07 02:00 BST)
  8. Padre Romero said "But to you who hear, I say, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you...it really pisses them off." (05-07 02:01 BST)
  9. Padre Romero said "To the PKer who shoots you in the back, offer your front as well...to the person who steals you kill, do not withhold even another..." (05-07 02:02 BST)
  10. Padre Romero said "Supply Ammo to everyone who asks, and from the one who takes fuel cans from you, do not demand it back" (05-07 02:04 BST)
  11. Padre Romero said "Do unto others as you would have them do to you" (05-07 02:05 BST)
  12. Padre Romero said "but most importantly...maintian the barricades and kick serious ass!!!" (05-07 02:06 BST)
  13. Padre Romero said "that is all" (05-07 02:06 BST)

A Singing Zombie

Witnessed by Dickus Maximus 12:35, 30 April 2006 (BST)

  1. A zombie said "! Nah harm harmanz.! zrng" (04-30 07:43 BST)
  2. A zombie said "Bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh mahraam MAHRAAM!" (04-30 07:47 BST)
  3. A zombie said "Ah bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh bagarh mahraam MAHRAAM!" (04-30 07:47 BST)
  4. A zombie said "Znnaaagh Znaaagh AAAHHHH! NAAAGGH!!!!" (04-30 07:47 BST)
  5. A zombie said "Zambahz Z!ng ABBA?" (04-30 07:51 BST)
  6. A zombie said "Mamma M!hra. Harh! Garh Aga!n. M! M! Harh gan! Razrz Rarh?" (04-30 07:51 BST)
  7. A zombie destroyed the generator. (04-30 07:51 BST)
  8. Sweet Joe killed a zombie. (04-30 08:19 BST)

The Kennedy's death mystery solved

Witnessed by Katie Stapleton on Apr 25, 2006 in Marcus General Hospital, Tollyton

  1. wakdjunkaga said "yeah, I did it!" (04-25 16:51 BST)
  2. wakdjunkaga killed President Kennedy. (04-25 16:51 BST)

LuvZombie is in town

Witnessed by Katie Stapleton on Apr 25, 2006 in Marcus General Hospital, Tollyton

  1. LuvZombie said "(singing) So they call me... ZOMBIE LOVE! I say that's what they call me (Zombie Love)! That's right they call me (Zombie Loooo-ooooove!!) No autographs ppl please no none no thanks." (04-24 23:58 BST)
  2. LuvZombie said "I'll be here all week folks just slip me a bit o' the ole eye-talian sausage and let's just call it a night." (04-24 23:58 BST)
  3. LuvZombie said "I swear to Christ I'm not ga.... oh what the hell HALUAGHLAUGAGHLAG (honking every cock in sight)" (04-24 23:58 BST)
  4. Col Klink said "can heal, let me know if you need it" (04-25 01:37 BST)
  5. Zed Ed said "Please Help!! Have an infection!! Need healing!!" (04-25 06:09 BST)
  6. LuvZombie said "(crooning foxily) Wanna whole lotta love... AHHhhhhh... Wanna whole lotta love (Ahhhh) (jamming on his guitar) (it is ROCKING(" (04-25 07:30 BST)
  7. LuvZombie said "Okay folks. For the next five minutes I am going to rock out with my cock out." (04-25 07:30 BST)
  8. LuvZombie said "Here goes...." (04-25 07:30 BST)
  9. LuvZombie said "Whew. I'm done I guess." (04-25 07:35 BST)
  10. LuvZombie said "I'll be here all week folks. If you could leave a shotgun shell or pistol clip in the hat on your way out I'd really appreciate it." (04-25 07:35 BST)
  11. LuvZombie said "(frightened) Please don't roleplay with me too hard." (04-25 07:35 BST)

Bedtime Story

Told to NinjaZero in Osmondville in the Pimm building by Linea Aspera on April 19th

  1. Linea Aspera said "*gives NinjaZero an affectionate pat* Sorry, kid. No needles on me. And I'll just assume that, uh, you accidentally hit me. But only because I like you." (04-19 04:04 BST)
  2. Linea Aspera said "And because that mean man, Magnus Akureyri, killed you. *sad smile*" (04-19 04:04 BST)
  3. Linea Aspera said "I'm going to, um, go to sleep over... here... *edges away toward the nearest wall and lays down a counter* Hopefully you won't get any over-zombish ideas in the meantime." (04-19 04:05 BST)
  4. Linea Aspera said "But, I'll read you a bedtime story, if you like..." (04-19 04:08 BST)
  5. Linea Aspera said "A great king of a land far away in Lamport Hills had a daughter who was very beautiful, but so proud, haughty and conceited, that none of the princes who came to ask for her hand in marriage was good enough for her. All she ever did was make fun of them." (04-19 04:11 BST)
  6. Linea Aspera said "Once upon a time the king held a great feast and invited all her suitors. They all sat in a row, ranged according to their rank -- NTs and trenchcoaters and doctors and firemen and scouts." (04-19 04:12 BST)
  7. Linea Aspera said "When the princess came in, as she passed by them, she had something spiteful to say to each one." (04-19 04:13 BST)
  8. Linea Aspera said "But the old king was very angry when he saw how his daughter behaved and how badly she treated all his guests. He vowed that, willing or unwilling, she would marry the first man that came to the door." (04-19 04:13 BST)
  9. Linea Aspera said "Two days later a travelling zombie shambled by the mansion. He began to groan under the window and begged for brains and when the king heard him, he said, 'Let him come in.'" (04-19 04:13 BST)
  10. Linea Aspera said "So, they brought the dirty-looking fellow in and, when he had square danced before the king and the princess, he begged for a meal. The king said, 'You have danced so well that I will give you my daughter to take as your wife.'" (04-19 04:13 BST)
  11. Linea Aspera said "The princess begged and prayed; but the king said, 'I have sworn to give you to the first man who came to the door, and I will keep my word.' Words and tears were to no avail; the parson was sent for, and she was married to the zombie." (04-19 04:14 BST)
  12. Linea Aspera said "And on their wedding night, he devoured her, brains and all." (04-19 04:14 BST)
  13. Linea Aspera said "And they lived undead happily ever after." (04-19 04:14 BST)
  14. Linea Aspera said "The end. *yawns, stretches, rolls over, and goes to sleep*" (04-19 04:14 BST)

Double Take

Witnessed by Skyraider Jones April 17 2006, in Edgecombe

  1. Flingotravels said "ZOMBIE INSIDE!!!" (04-17 21:35 BST)
  2. o'merra killed a zombie. (04-17 21:44 BST)
  3. o'merra said "Zombie outside, now =P" (04-17 21:44 BST)

John Lennon Live at West Becktown!

Witnessed by Boganville Apr 13 2006, in West Becktown.

  1. John Lennon Live said "Greetings, my zombie brethren! How about a little music while you're awaiting your return to humanity?" (04-13 00:36 BST)
  2. John Lennon Live said "Zombie Karma's gonna get you! It's bite you in the face! Better get yourself together, rotter - join the human race!" (04-13 00:36 BST)
  3. John Lennon Live said "Imagine there’s no zombies. It isn’t hard to do. No infection spreading, and no brain rot too. Imagine all dead guys laying on the ground. U may say I’m a Lab Tech, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll revive me, & the world will" (04-13 00:37 BST)
  4. John Lennon Live said "Kevan, you know it ain’t easy, you know how hard it can be. The way things are going, they’re going to headshot me!" (04-13 00:38 BST)
  5. John Lennon Live said "Groan along if you know this one..." (04-13 00:38 BST)
  6. John Lennon Live said "Power to the hambags! Power to the hambags, right on!" (04-13 00:38 BST)
  7. John Lennon Live said "Well, only a couple of hecklers tearing my flesh today. I'm impressed! I’m moving on. If you’re a fan, please stop in and say hi on my chat board (accessed thru my profile). And remember..." (04-13 00:39 BST)
  8. John Lennon Live said "Two, one, two, three, four! Ev’rybody’s talking about Infectionism, Deadism, Bananaism, Survivorism, Pistolism, Necroism, This-ism, That-ism, is-m, is-m, is-m! All we are saying is give Zeds a chance!" (04-13 00:39 BST)
  9. John Lennon Live said "Thank you, and good night everyone! *lights his length of pipe and leaves*" (04-13 00:40 BST)

John Lennon Live at Caiger Mall!

Witnessed by Mike J West Apr 12 2006, in the Caiger Mall

  1. John Lennon Live said "Welcome everyone! All of you in the back clap your hands - the ones in the front can rattle your wire cutters (gotta find a use for them anyway). Hope you enjoy the show!" (04-12 00:19 BST)
  2. John Lennon Live said "Zombie Karma's gonna get you! It's bite you in the face! Better get yourself together, rotter - join the human race!" (04-12 00:19 BST)
  3. John Lennon Live said "Imagine there’s no zombies. It isn’t hard to do. No infection spreading, and no brain rot too. Imagine all dead guys laying on the ground. You may I’m a Lab Tech, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll revive me, and the world will" (04-12 00:19 BST)
  4. John Lennon Live said "I didn’t mean to hurt. I’m sorry that I made you cry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m just a bagman guy!" (04-12 00:20 BST)
  5. John Lennon Live said "FAKs will get you through the night! ‘salright, ‘salright" (04-12 00:20 BST)
  6. John Lennon Live said "Power to the hambags! Power to the hambags, right on!" (04-12 00:20 BST)
  7. John Lennon Live said "I’m just sitting here watching the zeds go round and round, I really love to watch them roll. No longer riding on the merry-go-round, I just had to let it go." (04-12 00:20 BST)
  8. John Lennon Live said "Kevan, you know it ain’t easy, you know how hard it can be. The way things are going, they’re going to headshot me!" (04-12 00:21 BST)
  9. John Lennon Live said "I’m moving on. If you’re a fan, please stop in and say hi on my chat board (accessed thru my profile). And remember..." (04-12 00:21 BST)
  10. John Lennon Live said "Two, one, two, three, four! Ev’rybody’s talking about Infectionism, Deadism, Bananaism, Survivorism, Pistolism, Necroism, This-ism, That-ism, is-m, is-m, is-m! All we are saying is give Zeds a chance!"

Gee... Thanks...

Witnessed by M1X0R Apr 8 2006, in the Deakin Alley Police Dept.

  1. Finnius said "You dirtbags! Here I was trying to be evil again and work my zombie urges again, and I get revived! Urg! I have a soul again and it's tell me to heal and defend." (04-08 01:16 BST)
  2. Finnius said "Okay. Okay. I gotta live. But I can't do it here. I've bitten way too many of you people, so I'm kind of uncomfortable. Dang it. I'm gonna try the living again. Good luck, yada yada, thanks for the revive, yada yada. Dang." (04-08 01:19 BST)

A Sense of Irony

Witnessed/Said by M1X0R Apr 4 2006, in the Deakin Alley Police Dept.

  1. Overwatch said "join the pker group The End if you are interested go to there page under the groups. The End is now!!! (they are currently in the Stickling Mall in Shearbank)" (04-05 00:18 BST)
  2. M1X0R said "Next time you see anyone promoting PKing, kill them. And teach them a sense of irony." (04-05 00:20 BST)

Traci Whipple's Poetry

Witnessed by Katie Stapleton Apr 4 2006, in the Wadham Library in Roftwood.

  1. Scathein said "very nice poetry, Mr. Whipple" (04-03 20:03 BST)
  2. A flare was fired 5 blocks to the west and 1 block to the south. (04-03 21:10 BST)
  3. Zero Whipple said "Ahem! *Ms.* Whipple. But it's not really easy to tell, eh, me being so skinny and in this baggy sweatshirt! Heh heh..." (04-03 22:39 BST)
  4. A flare was fired 13 blocks to the east and 11 blocks to the south. (04-03 22:40 BST)
  5. A flare was fired 1 block to the west and 8 blocks to the south. (04-03 23:01 BST)
  6. Zero Whipple said "But you know, I've never been that adverse to wearing men's clothing." (04-03 23:04 BST)
  7. Zero Whipple said "I've done it before. I remember, before the outbreak, I'd sometimes put on some of my older brother's shirts and trousers from when he was smaller and wander about." (04-03 23:18 BST)
  8. Zero Whipple said "I've got the underweight build to pull that off, you see. Just look like a very skinny boy with pink hair. I even got a phone number from another girl once!" (04-03 23:28 BST)
  9. Zero Whipple said "Of course, I had to tell her I was female. I wouldn't have minded that she was a she, you see, but I couldn't mislead someone like that. But then she told me that she wouldn't mind either, and so we got back to her flat, and..." (04-03 23:57 BST)
  10. Zero Whipple said "**checks** Oh! Looks like it's time for more poetry!" (04-03 23:58 BST)
  11. Zero Whipple said "If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew // To serve your turn long after they are gone, // And so hold on when there is nothing in you // Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'" (04-03 23:59 BST)
  12. Zero Whipple said "If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, // Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, // Or being hated, don't give way to hating, // Aand yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise." (04-03 23:59 BST)
  13. Zero Whipple said "Shape without form, shade without colour, // Paralysed force, gesture without motion;" (04-04 00:00 BST)
  14. Zero Whipple said "Long since had the dead become untroubled in the light soil." (04-04 00:00 BST)
  15. EmanuelLoco said "Thank you for healing me" (04-04 01:36 BST)
  16. MindSnap said "I might stay here just for the poetry..." (04-04 03:06 BST)
  17. Zero Whipple said "Please do! I always like those with appreciation for art." (04-04 03:45 BST)
  18. Zero Whipple said "But you know, poetry doesn't have to be read aloud. If you have somewhere to be, you can take a poetry book out of this library and read some yourself!" (04-04 03:46 BST)
  19. Zero Whipple said "In this last of meeting places // We grope together // And avoid speech." (04-04 03:46 BST)
  20. Zero Whipple said "A crowd flowed over London Bridge, so many, // I had not thought death had undone so many." (04-04 03:47 BST)
  21. Zero Whipple said "Do not stand at my grave and forever weep. // I am not there; I do not sleep." (04-04 03:47 BST)
  22. Zero Whipple said "Is it like this // In death's other kingdom // Waking alone // At the hour when we are // Trembling with tenderness // Lips that would kiss // Form prayers to broken stone." (04-04 03:48 BST)
  23. A flare was fired 11 blocks to the west. (04-04 10:19 BST)
  24. A flare was fired 9 blocks to the east and 9 blocks to the south. (04-04 12:25 BST)
  25. Zero Whipple said "My, it's getting somewhat difficult to see - those barricades are built up so high, the sunlight isn't getting in. A little difficult to read the pages..." (04-04 19:19 BST)
  26. Zero Whipple said "My ears mist // And my ears desist, // And my nose colds // And my tongue folds, // And my cheecks crack // And my lips black // And my mouth grins // And my spit runs." (04-04 19:24 BST)

A Bum Show/Monty Python's Holy Grail

Witnessed by Julie Newman 1 Apr 2006, outside the Nichols Mall in Stanbury Village.

  1. Star Chelsea said "*Star Chelsea drops pants to ankles and shows his ass* -Bite my trimmed, toned, tattooed ass you brainrotters!! What a sorry lot of zombies this is!!" (04-01 18:16 BST)
  2. pinky perkins said "Hey you zombies!! Check out my big fat ass!!! ** drops pants to reveal ceremonial mooning party shorts and waves large behind at the assembled horde **" (04-01 18:16 BST)
  3. Star Chelsea said "Didn’t you hear what I said? Bite my smooth, shaved, shiny ass you pathetic loosers!!" (04-01 18:17 BST)
  4. Star Chelsea said "You don't frighten us, Zombie pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called killer-zombie, you and all your silly Zombie kaniggets. Thppppt!" (04-01 18:17 BST)
  5. Star Chelsea said "I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough whiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of eldeberries." (04-01 18:17 BST)
  6. Star Chelsea said "No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a!" (04-01 18:18 BST)
  7. Star Chelsea said "Bravely bold Sir Chelsea, rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, o Chelsea Sir Chelsea. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways. Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Chelsea!" (04-01 18:18 BST)
  8. Star Chelsea said "He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Chelsea!" (04-01 18:18 BST)
  9. Star Chelsea said "His head smashed in and his heart cut out, And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged, And his nostrils ripped and his bottom burned off, And his penis--" (04-01 18:18 BST)
  10. Star Chelsea said "That's -- that's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads." (04-01 18:18 BST)
  11. P Nissy said "Attention zombies, I hereby declare this Flash Bumming Day ** pulls down trousers and allyou can see is a big spotty bum **" (04-01 18:19 BST)
  12. Lanista said "*Lanista drops pants to ankles, grabs ass-cheeks and wiggles them toward the Zombie horde* Kiss my ass, suckers!" (04-01 18:20 BST)
  13. Dr Nick Riviera said "Dr Nick whips off his trousers in one quick move to reveal piss off zombies crudely written on his arse in magic marker" (04-01 18:20 BST)
  14. Lanista said "Every single zombie in this Crowd was born on [58,26] !!" (04-01 18:21 BST)
  15. Dr Nick Riviera said "be careful fellas...I've seen these zombies looking at each others arses when they're not eating brains...I think we've found a gaggle of gay zombies" (04-01 18:22 BST)
  16. Lanista said "They must be gay for sure, look at the stupid one in the back" (04-01 18:23 BST)
  17. Lanista said "*Lanista drops pants and shows arse* Kiss this" (04-01 18:29 BST)
  18. dethtech extracted a DNA sample from you. (04-01 18:29 BST)
  19. Lanista said "Has anyone seen my pants?" (04-01 18:33 BST)
  20. WS Darley said "Take this, Zombie scum! *Drops pants, flashes bum.*" (04-01 18:35 BST)
  21. Brain Fodder said "Hey stinkers get a load of this! *pulls down finest silk boxers hand woven by chinese virgins to reveal arse caked in brown matted crusty hairs* Take a bite!" (04-01 18:38 BST)
  22. Master Biter said "*Yanks down filthy brown, yellow and cream stained white chinos. Bares ass to horde and lets rip with a mighty thunderclap of gas* April fool suckas!" (04-01 18:40 BST)
  23. Eugene Skinner said "Welcome to the latest weapon against zombie hordes. *Flashes a surprisingly hairy ass at you.*" (04-01 18:42 BST)
  24. You heard a loud and distant groaning 5 blocks to the west and 6 blocks to the south. (04-01 18:42 BST)
  25. Star Chelsea said "*Star drops pants again, showing his private parts, some parts are smeared with mustard* -Anyone hungry?" (04-01 18:47 BST)
  26. Star Chelsea said "Zombies are so cute and cuddly, I could play with them all day long!!" (04-01 18:48 BST)
  27. Star Chelsea said "Happy April Fools Day and Flash Bumming Day!!" (04-01 18:49 BST)
  28. Star Chelsea said "Joekamo, it was really unpolite to bite me. Afterall I never bit you. By the way, you should really see a dentist about your dental problems." (04-01 18:51 BST)
  29. A zombie said "Hrh rrh m hra!" (04-01 19:02 BST)
  30. A zombie said "Rmbarh" (04-01 19:11 BST)

The Death of Milla Jovovich

As observed by :Nigel ZedSlayer 9 Mar 2006

  1. Widespread Panic said "Milla Jovovich, I sentence you to Death for not being naked like in all of your movies." (03-09 04:00 GMT)
  2. Widespread Panic killed Milla Jovovich. (03-09 04:01 GMT)

Jack Swithun preaches to the living

Overheard and edited by :Astram Loccasin 31 Jan 2006

  1. Jack Swithun said "Matthew 4:4 But He answered, It is written: Man must not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." (01-28 18:07 GMT)
  2. Jack Swithun said "John 1:14 The Word became flesh and took up residence among us. We observed His glory, the glory as the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth." (01-28 18:08 GMT)
  3. Jack Swithun said "John 6:51 I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread he will live forever. The bread that I will give for the life of the world is My flesh." (01-28 18:09 GMT)
  4. Jack Swithun said "Our Lord is both the bread and the Word of God, it supplies His followers with all they need. All we need is accept our savior into our hearts and join His Holy communion." (01-28 18:10 GMT)
  5. Jack Swithun said "There are those among you who are tempted to make themselves unclean, that spite and anger flows forth from their heart like a font. Remember these Holy Words- Exodus 21:12 Whoever strikes a person so that he dies must be put to death." (01-28 18:11 GMT)
  6. Jack Swithun said "Redemption for the unclean and sinner is only found in the Resurrection, following the Lord's will in perfect faith unpolluted by the vice rational thought. All who breath are sinners in the sight of the Lord, and are forgiven only through His grace." (01-28 18:11 GMT)
  7. Jack Swithun said "You must not fear death for through death you find redemption from this living Hell. The Resurrection is a miracle, a sign of His divine grace. Eternal life devoid of sin, fear, doubt, and sorrow can be yours. You just need the faith to accept it." (01-28 18:13 GMT)
  8. Jack Swithun said "I stand here in the sinful state to preach the sweet Word to you so that you may see the light. I've suffered wounds from the unclean to have you repent the sinful state. I only want you to know the bliss of the true grace found in the Resurrection." (01-28 18:14 GMT)
  9. Hexedian said "ZombieBabyJesus treatment, people. Whoever thinks Jack Swithun is a zombie spy shoot him once with a shotgun!" (01-28 18:50 GMT)
  10. Jack Swithun said "Hexedian, you make yourself unclean with murder." (01-28 18:56 GMT)
  11. Jack Swithun said "I ask for your own sake that you repent." (01-28 18:57 GMT)
  12. Hexedian said "Killing a zombie is not murder, it's mercy. You, my friend, are clearly a zombie, because no sane human being would side with the bloodthirsties." (01-28 20:10 GMT)
  13. Jack Swithun said "Just because you can't accept my beliefs, I must be insane? What I told you how you live is insane, minute from minute fearing death, continually ruled by deluded rational thought and worshiping the new socery known as science." (01-28 20:49 GMT)
  14. Jack Swithun said "With your wands of fire and lead known as fire arms, you dividation tools known as DNA extractors, and the mockery of God's grace known as revivification syringes. You are decieved by the devil and I seek to shed light upon your life." (01-28 20:52 GMT)
  15. Soulman87 said "I'm assuming you're all insane" (01-28 20:56 GMT)
  16. Jack Swithun said "Hexedian. you killed me you are guilty of murder." (01-29 06:00 GMT)
  17. Degg said "Jack Swithun he is not guilty of murder because you are being really annoying and you are a zombie spy." (01-29 07:54 GMT)
  18. Spartan nr116 said "No Jack Swithun is not a sane zombie spy! Religious!'" (01-29 13:31 GMT)
  19. Spartan nr116 said "Thoose of you which are religious rise a hand." (01-29 13:33 GMT)
  20. Westfall said "Jack Swithun, you have been identified as a Church of the Ressurection collaborator, and will now be executed for enemy sedition." (01-30 00:10 GMT)
  21. Jack Swithun said "Ecclesiastes 2: 11 When I considered all that I had accomplished and what I had labored to achieve, I found everything to be futile and a pursuit of the wind. There was nothing to be gained under the sun." (01-30 00:10 GMT)
  22. Jack Swithun said "Your efforts to build barricades accomplish nothing. Everything you do is futile and grasping of the wind. Soon the barricades will be gone and we'll all be shredded bodies outside. Death awaits us all and the best thing is to accept it." (01-30 00:11 GMT)
  23. Westfall said "See you in hell preacher." (01-30 00:11 GMT)
  24. Jack Swithun said "Ecclesiastes 2: 16 For, just like the fool, there is no lasting remembrance of the wise man, since in the days to come both will be forgotten. How is it that the wise man dies just like the fool?" (01-30 00:11 GMT)
  25. Jack Swithun said "All die and none will be spared but through the miracle of the Resurrection you need never fear death. 'Glory' is fleeting, and your struggle against the Lord's will pointless. Accept the mercy and forgiveness of the Lord and join the Feast!" (01-30 00:11 GMT)
  26. Westfall said "We won't die as soon as you it would seem." (01-30 00:12 GMT)
  27. Westfall said "And stay out this time. Damn, he messed me up before I could kill him. Please heal me." (01-30 00:15 GMT)

Zombie Jesus Returns!

As heard by :Astram Loccasin 04:43, 27 Jan 2006 (GMT)

  1. ZombieBabyJesus said "Ladies and gentlemen back to preach by popular demand, its zombie baby jesus" (01-27 03:11 GMT)
  2. ZombieBabyJesus said "No ZOMG ITS A ZOMBIE SPY. I, the messiah, have returned because apparently you all love to here it, cuase you keep bringing me back" (01-27 03:11 GMT)
  3. ZombieBabyJesus said "You see my friends, even now my brethren who have embraced my fathers next planned step for your kind, and in a way our kind, are trying to enter here to spread the good word with me" (01-27 03:12 GMT)
  4. ZombieBabyJesus said "Now I know its difficult for you to understand, for your human minds have not moved up to the level of the zombie mind. But Zombiedom is the true course of the future, and is infact my fathers plan for all of us. You, me, the large crowd gathered outside." (01-27 03:12 GMT)
  5. ZombieBabyJesus said "Your all probably thinking right now. What makes zombies better then humans?" (01-27 03:13 GMT)
  6. ZombieBabyJesus said "Ill tell you my children. Zombies act without the sins that haunt mankind." (01-27 03:13 GMT)
  7. ZombieBabyJesus said "Look at your commandments, humans kill each other, humans lie cheat and steal, for what is your searching but glorified looting? Im sure somewhere even know you are using the lords name in vein" (01-27 03:14 GMT)
  8. ZombieBabyJesus said "Now you may say, But Jesus, Zombies kill to. Zombies do not kill each other though child. Just as you would kill the deer or the cow to eat and survive so the zombies must kill the humans. This is not against gods will or his comandments." (01-27 03:14 GMT)
  9. ZombieBabyJesus said "Surely children you all wish to pass on to heaven with me,
  10. ZombieBabyJesus. But if you deny the true path of zombiedom then you condem yourself to an eternity with the ZombieDevil." (01-27 03:15 GMT)
  11. ZombieBabyJesus said "And so follow me into the light, all that dare. You need but step outside, find my followers and say I ACCEPT ZOMBIEBABYJESUS AND ALL HIS LOVE AND GLORY. They will then baptis you in the usual. The pain is the inpurity leaving your souls." (01-27 03:15 GMT)
  12. ZombieBabyJesus said "Now i will violate my normal procedure of leaving to continue to spread the gospel to instead remain and take questions. Go ahead ask away, which of you wish to become my disciples" (01-27 03:16 GMT)
  13. Hexedian said "Put a cork on it, lunatic, no one is willing to die for your dellusions." (01-27 03:40 GMT)
  14. ZombieBabyJesus said "Excuse me sir. You will not talk to the messiah that way. If you do not accept my fathers path for this world so be it, your time will come, but we will at least be civil about it" (01-27 03:43 GMT)
  15. ZombieBabyJesus said "You see children, Zombies would never speak to each other like this, this a concept unique to humans." (01-27 03:44 GMT)
  16. ZombieBabyJesus said "I see you have no wish to debate this issue with me my child. These people deserve to hear your arguements and make thier own decisions about which is the true path as decided by my all knowing father" (01-27 03:48 GMT)
  17. Hexedian said "Ho, I would love to have a good-faithed argument with an intelligent person, but I don't believe you are either of those. Were this better times, you would get the psychological treatment you deserve." (01-27 03:52 GMT)
  18. Hexedian said "Unfortunately, the zombie invasion has stripped us of the power to cure you. See what your so-called brethen have done to you?" (01-27 03:52 GMT)
  19. ZombieBabyJesus said "I have shour people wn my breathren the light, the true path, they have done nothing to me. It was your people that returned me to this state. And am i crazy for knowing the truth, i have seen the light while you wander in the shadows." (01-27 03:57 GMT)
  20. ZombieBabyJesus said "One needs but look to the Allagory of the Cave to see the plan for this very moment. To sum it up 3 men are confined in a cave seeing only shadows believing them to be all that exists, 1 escapes and sees the world in all its true glory, when he returns" (01-27 03:59 GMT)
  21. ZombieBabyJesus said "when he reutrns he is killed by the other 2, for they were not ready to accept what he had seen. You see they had lived in the shadows so long as to accept them as the only thing in existance, and to hear of others was incomprehensible to them" (01-27 04:01 GMT)
  22. Hexedian said "Any reasonable person would agree that we are in an impasse, for neither of us can provide a proof of our opinions. However, the democratic majority will probably agree with me : Shut up and leave, we don't like you." (01-27 04:07 GMT)
  23. ZombieBabyJesus said "Ah my poor misguided child, i do not spy, for that is a form of human imperfection, and this is my first visit to Darvall Heights, with the exception of one other trip in my true form to visit an old friend." (01-27 04:07 GMT)
  24. ZombieBabyJesus said "Ah but moments ago I was no match for you superior intelligence. Now you have accomplished nothing with that hubris but to make a fool of yourself. Perhaps you have done me some good there, for who like working with a fool eh? They cause only trouble" (01-27 04:10 GMT)
  25. Hexedian said "Heh, I guess we're on different opinions here; I think I can argue with you just fine, but I'd rather just ask you to leave, because I know your kind does not listen to reason. I simply do not want to waste any more time on you." (01-27 04:14 GMT)
  26. ZombieBabyJesus said "I see so, knowing that you are defeated you offer me a draw when i could surly go for a victory. Fortunatly I am the forgiving type and i will let this arguement die down. For tis late and I grow hungry and weary, but I shall not leave now pass the EZ-mac" (01-27 04:20 GMT)

The Ghost of Richard Pryor?

As heard by :Astram Loccasin 12:33, 22 Jan 2006 (GMT)

  1. Richard Pryor said "Good evening everyone and welcome to Julie General. I ain't really dead. Honest. I know y'all read the headlines COMEDY GENIUS RICHARD PRYOR DIES. It did say GENIUS, right?" (01-08 03:45 GMT)
  2. Richard Pryor said "But now, ain't that the same paper said WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION FOUND IN IRAQ? Yeah that's what I thought." (01-08 03:45 GMT)
  3. Richard Pryor said "But it ain't they fault. Ain't the newspaper fault this time. My agent, Sid, when Sid told me about the Malton tour, I said 'DAMN! I MUST be dead!'" (01-08 03:46 GMT)
  4. Richard Pryor said "Seriously, I wasn't dead BEFORE I got to Malton. Now I have been dead once since I been here. I tell you what, gettin eat up by zombies is about the closest thing I've had to sex since I got here!" (01-08 03:47 GMT)
  5. Richard Pryor said "An I don't know what the HELL kind of acid they got in those revive syringes, but I have NOT had a trip like that since about 1965. Y'all know what I mean." (01-08 03:48 GMT)
  6. Richard Pryor said "How many zombies we got in the crowd tonight, gimme a show of hands ....... hold on! that don't mean throw your hands up here at me!" (01-08 03:49 GMT)
  7. Richard Pryor said "Hey jugjug, cut that shit out! man that hurts!" (01-08 03:50 GMT)
  8. Richard Pryor said "Okay that's somethin you zombies can answer for me ......... why you got to take everthing so damn literal?" (01-08 03:51 GMT)
  9. Rottem Banana said "GBHRnHG aHGHGaZZBG rARZZharGB BZrRAHRrh, HGhHArHARZ hra gMNARHGZZh HGhaHG aMNMNHRZMRZ hARm HGHR abRZHRrb GBamagHA RZARnZZHA hHARZ HRnMNARnHA" (01-08 03:51 GMT)
  10. Richard Pryor said "One thing you NEVER want to say to a zombie...'Hey man, where can a brutha get a piece of ass.' No shit, man, Mofo tried to give me a piece of my OWN ass!" (01-08 03:51 GMT)
  11. Richard Pryor said "Light rum, triple sec, creme de almond, 151 rum, orange juice...how many y'all know what that is? That's right, it's what you get when you walk into any bar in L.A. and say 'make me a zombie.'" (01-08 03:52 GMT)
  12. Richard Pryor said "Try that in Malton....................... ............................. ..............get a damn double barrel shotgun up in your face!" (01-08 03:52 GMT)
  13. Richard Pryor said "Zombie walks into a BARHAH..." (01-08 03:53 GMT)
  14. Richard Pryor said "No, seriously, I'm sittin there havin a...a ZOMBIE...no shit, and in walks a zombie, an actual zombie. Bartender says 'hey we got a drink named after you, this guy's havin one right now.'" (01-08 03:53 GMT)
  15. Richard Pryor said "Zombie raises his eyebrow...no, really, he had it in his left hand...he raised it up like this. Looks at me kinda sideways, you know, like this. .................. Says 'you are drinking a Rottem Banana?'" (01-08 03:54 GMT)
  16. Richard Pryor said "They got movies here in Malton, I seen the movie theaters. I asked Sid, Sid my agent you know, I asked him if zombies go to the movies. 'Sure,' he say. 'Zombies love movies, they love the popcorn, the whole movie experience.'" (01-08 03:54 GMT)
  17. Rottem Banana said "Ana ham" (01-08 03:55 GMT)
  18. Richard Pryor said "That's how Sid talk, he talk like a white man you know. I ask him, 'do they eat popcorn with they fingers?' Sid thought a minute .................. 'no,' he said, 'they almost always eat their fingers separately.'" (01-08 03:55 GMT)
  19. Richard Pryor said "Sid. He a funny little man. Well not so much funny as stupid. Zombies, they leave Sid alone. Sid so stupid the damn zombies turn up they nose at his brain." (01-08 03:56 GMT)
  20. You heard a loud groaning from very close by. (01-08 03:56 GMT)
  21. Richard Pryor said "Yeah, he so stupid, he the first man alive to get Brain Rot." (01-08 03:57 GMT)
  22. Richard Pryor said "Today he told me, 'Richard,' I don't let him call me Dick. 'Richard,' he say, 'couldn't you try to tell jokes that don't remind these people that they are in the middle of a massive zombie invasion?' See there, like I told you, Sid one stupid mofo." (01-08 03:57 GMT)
  23. juju bees said "Z!HH, HAR HAR HAR.... R!zarh Brahrh harh harh harman." (01-08 03:57 GMT)
  24. Richard Pryor said "I say, 'you think maybe they FORGOT?'" (01-08 03:58 GMT)
  25. Richard Pryor said "Yeah, Mr. Banana here just invited me out for a bite." (01-08 03:59 GMT)
  26. Richard Pryor said "Who thinks I ought to go? Come on, let's see those hands ....." (01-08 03:59 GMT)
  27. Richard Pryor said "This afternoon I saw a little zombie girl standin on the corner with her zombie mom. I said 'ain't she a cutie.' Zombie mom says, 'Yes she is. She has her father's eyes.'" (01-08 04:00 GMT)
  28. Richard Pryor said "'An I'm gone whup her upside the head in about two seconds if she don't give 'em back!'" (01-08 04:00 GMT)
  29. Richard Pryor said "Seriously though, Zombie children...how you zombies deal with 'em? First place, how you gonna put a damn zombie baby to sleep? I asked zombie mom about that........." (01-08 04:02 GMT)
  30. Richard Pryor said "...she say, 'well first, you gonna need to get you a goddamned flamethrower...'" (01-08 04:02 GMT)
  31. spooflarn said "That's it Richard, I'm treporting you to the ACT! *Nobody*, alive *or* dead, should have to take this stand-up lying down!" (01-08 04:04 GMT)
  32. Richard Pryor said "Thank you all very much, y'all been about the best audience I had since I got to this town, that ain't no shit." (01-08 04:04 GMT)
  33. Richard Pryor said "I know some a y'all on the all-brain diet already, I got just one thing to say to y'all ...." (01-08 04:05 GMT)
  34. Richard Pryor said "PEACE AND HARMONY not PIECE OF HARMANZ! ..... Good night everbody!" (01-08 04:06 GMT)

Giddings Mall Karaoke Night w/ Officer Kahn

As heard by :Jack Blackwood 9:30PM, 01 Aug 2006 (AZ)

  1. Officer Kahn said "This is just a little song I heard and I think you all may enjoy it." (20 minutes ago)
  2. Officer Kahn said "*Tune to 99 Red Baloons*" (19 minutes ago)
  3. Officer Kahn said "You and I in a little gun shop" (18 minutes ago)
  4. Officer Kahn said "Buy a bag of ammo for the zombie's headshot" (18 minutes ago)
  5. Officer Kahn said "shoot them until the break of dawn" (18 minutes ago)
  6. Officer Kahn said "'Til one by one their heads are gone" (17 minutes ago)
  7. Officer Kahn said "Back at base, broadcast through the air" (17 minutes ago)
  8. Officer Kahn said "Flash the message, something's in here!" (17 minutes ago)
  9. Officer Kahn said "Groaning into the summer sky" (17 minutes ago)
  10. Officer Kahn said "Ninety-nine Zeds are gonna die" (16 minutes ago)
  11. Officer Kahn said "Paniced shouts, it's red alert" (16 minutes ago)
  12. Officer Kahn said "Theres safety here and nowhere else" (16 minutes ago)
  13. Officer Kahn said "The war machine springs to life" (15 minutes ago)
  14. Officer Kahn said "The survivors build the cades up high" (15 minutes ago)
  15. Officer Kahn said "Groaning into the summer sky" (15 minutes ago)
  16. Officer Kahn said "Ninety-nine Zeds are gonna die" (15 minutes ago)
  17. Officer Kahn said "Ninety-nine infections to treat" (14 minutes ago)
  18. Officer Kahn said "Ninety-nine syringes for the NT" (14 minutes ago)
  19. Officer Kahn said "Fire! Fire! and watch them Scurry" (14 minutes ago)
  20. Officer Kahn said "Call out the troops now in a hurry" (14 minutes ago)
  21. Officer Kahn said "This is what we've waited for" (13 minutes ago)
  22. Officer Kahn said "This is it, boys, this is war" (13 minutes ago)
  23. Officer Kahn said "A Rotter is in the revive line" (13 minutes ago)
  24. Officer Kahn said "Ninety-nine Zeds are gonna die" (13 minutes ago)
  25. Officer Kahn said "Thank you! Thank you! Who else loves Karaioke!?" (12 minutes ago)

Blackmore PKing

As heard by ManliestMan 11:07AM, 22 Sept 2006,(-5 GMT)

  1. 2dread4U said "Please! Can someone heal me? I´m infected!" (11 minutes ago)
  2. s metcalfe said "Hi 2dread! I will heal you" (10 minutes ago)
  3. s metcalfe killed 2dread4U. (10 minutes ago)
  4. s metcalfe said "Damn, that's not a FAK, it's an axe!" (9 minutes ago)
  5. A zombie said "Graagh." (8 minutes ago)
  6. A zombie said "Graaaagh!" (8 minutes ago)
  7. s metcalfe said "Graagh indeed," (8 minutes ago)
  8. A zombie said "Mrh?" (8 minutes ago)
  9. A zombie said "Brnhr." (7 minutes ago)
  10. s metcalfe said "Oh 2dread, if only you had more zombie skills. It's a da,n shame" (6 minutes ago)
  11. s metcalfe said "Sam, that's not very nice" (5 minutes ago)
  12. You heard a loud groaning from very close by. (3 minutes ago)
  13. s metcalfe said "Zombies, if you need healing say Zambah har!" (1 minute ago)
  14. You heard a loud groaning from very close by. (1 minute ago)
  15. Saddaminator killed s metcalfe. (1 minute ago)
  16. A zombie gestured at Saddaminator. (44 seconds ago)
  17. Saddaminator said "S Metcalfe, You've just been Saddamized like a Kurd." (11 seconds ago)

Oh, the Idiocy, or the Assault of Tompson Mall

As heard by LiquidMetal, Nov 13, 2006, in Suter Boulevard Police Dept [17, 81], Ruddlebank.

  1. Tejis said "hello?" (1 weeks ago) ...and again.
  2. blue colth said "tejis" (1 weeks ago)
  3. blue colth said "pleas help me berak down tompson mall !! its is 4 to the east so u in or out" (1 weeks ago)
  4. slizard said "how close to caiger mall are we? there were about 500 zombies there." (1 weeks ago)
  5. blue colth said "we ar preety far away altough i have a question" (1 weeks ago)
  6. sanzo09 said "hey blue colth can u help me brak into tompson mall tommorow pleas !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (1 weeks ago)
  7. blue colth said "sure why not does any 1 else whant to help out with the seige on tompson mall??? we can use the help and it will be a lot safer their." (1 weeks ago)
  8. wwe champ cena said "Yeah, I'm in. What time do you want to do it? I will be here at 4 pm( central time zone( Texas)." (1 weeks ago)
  9. blue colth said "ok when u have 50 ap points send a message and ill give u the time we go" (1 weeks ago)
  10. wwe champ cena said "ok" (1 weeks ago) ...and again. ...and again.
  11. Evan Viscious said "nice to meet you all" (6 days ago)
  12. Evan Viscious said "so how are we planning to get through this" (6 days ago)
  13. blue colth said "does any one else whant to join me sanzo09 and wwe champ cena breaking in to the tompson mall??" (6 days ago)
  14. blue colth said "well if so tell me have a good night guys its 5:30 am here in new jersy so ima play some dynasty warriors then go to sleep **** good thing im suspended from school=D" (6 days ago)
  15. Blk Gryphon said "i will go with you guys after i get some ammo" (6 days ago)
  16. Blk Gryphon said "where is it exaclty from this position?" (6 days ago)
  17. Puritan James said "Ummm, Why not kill zeds till you can get free running?" (6 days ago)
  18. wwe champ cena said "i am going to have to kill a lot to get enough experience points before i can buy free running. i only have 1 experience point." (6 days ago)
  19. blue colth said "so yur saying if we get freerunig we can just go inside a heavily barricaded place like the mall ..and blk gryphon the mall is just 4 blocks to the east of us so we are close by it." (6 days ago)
  20. blue colth said "oo yeah u dont need ammo all we need is like fire axes i think it helps out more im not sure though if im wrong some one correct me pleas" (6 days ago)
  21. sanzo09 said "colth we can hit each other 4 experince u can hit me first" (6 days ago)
  22. blue colth said "ok i have an idea does any one here have that thing that rivievs zombies!!!!!in to humans" (6 days ago)
  23. blue colth said "no froget it it will take days sanzo we just have to hopesome one in this bulding has a rivivng nerotehc suring that makes us human once agine does any one have it we could all benifit from this i really have a good idea!!! =D" (6 days ago)
  24. blue colth said "yes liqued metal do u have a suring thing that brings zombies back from death!!!!!!!!!!" (6 days ago)
  25. Kyle Kane said "ok guys I can broadcast messages you have any requests? and thanks for reviving me" (6 days ago)
  26. blue colth said "kyle kane would u like to join us on knocking down the tompson mall so we can enter it and get items.. and i will have to take down names of the people that whant to help us on our seige at the tompson mall so if u do just say so and i dont" (5 days ago)
  27. blue colth said "need the following peolples names wwe champ cena and sanzo09 i already have u guys" (5 days ago)
  28. Oleg Diftre said "Interesting news." (5 days ago)
  29. blue colth said "oleg dirtre do you whant to help us 2" (5 days ago)
  30. Oleg Diftre said "Help you with what? An assault on Thompson?" (5 days ago)
  31. blue colth said "yeah the mall 4 blocks east of here" (5 days ago)
  32. blue colth said "we alrerdy have 3 people but the more the better chances we have of getting in" (5 days ago)
  33. blue colth said "yeahhhh i just killt a zombie !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (5 days ago)
  34. wwe champ cena said "i have civilian class, so i can choose which stores to loot inside a mall. how heavily is thompson mall barricaded, if you know?" (5 days ago)
  35. wwe champ cena said "good job!!!" (5 days ago)
  36. wwe champ cena said "if anyone needs ammo, i just dropped a pistol clip." (5 days ago)
  37. wwe champ cena said "i am getting off now, might be back later tonight, i will be back tomorrow, for sure." (5 days ago)
  38. wwe champ cena said "i am dropping a shotgun shell." (5 days ago)
  39. Oleg Diftre said "Do you think we have the numbers for such an attack? If not, we'll just get slaughtered. Caiger and Giddings are some of the only malls survivors have won a siege in, and they've always been on the defensive." (5 days ago)
  40. Puritan James said "We should concentrate on leveling up first, and getting free running. Smashing our way in is not going to endear us to the surviviors inside, neh? If you drop an item, it is gone forever." (5 days ago)
  41. Puritan James said "Wyke Grove Firestation is almost abandoned. it is 5 west of here. I'm sure the exp points will flow freely from that direction." (5 days ago)
  42. blue colth said "right but yet that tompson mall is a safe place and im talking about safe as in safe to walk the streets of the whole place and wwe champ it extremly heavily barricaded oo and so if we get free running we ac just go inside with out braking in?" (5 days ago)
  43. blue colth said "yeah maybe its best to just stay here and prepare to go to the mall some other day but still does any one have one of thoose riviving suringes cause sanzo09 volunterd to be a zombie and we can==" (5 days ago)
  44. blue colth said "kill him over and over so we get experinace ponts and when time comes we rivie him into human" (5 days ago)
  45. sanzo09 said "yeah ill do it as long as some one rivies me after all of u get enough experiance points and ill hie blue colth so that i get exp to BUT I WILL STOP BEFORE I KILL HIM cuse 1 zombbie in hear is enough right!!???" (5 days ago)
  46. Blk Gryphon said "ok been in the mall it is in need of fule im off to get some any one with free running feel like helping if i cant find one" (5 days ago)
  47. wwe champ cena said "hey, LiquidMetal, do you have any Necrotech Syringes? if you do, can you let me know?" (5 days ago)
  48. wwe champ cena said "sorry, i only have shopping." (5 days ago)
  49. wwe champ cena said "what is so good about free running anyway?" (5 days ago)
  50. wwe champ cena said "so, blue colth, are we still on for tomorrow, or is it postponed?" (5 days ago)
  51. wwe champ cena said "i gotta go, see yall tomorrow." (5 days ago)
  52. blue colth said "postponed i have a better idea i just need someone withNecrotech Syringes!!! any one with them let us know pleas!! it will be needed much 4 my plan." (5 days ago)
  53. Kyle Kane said "I'll come" (5 days ago)
  54. Kyle Kane said "I'll be logged in at 7:00 at least tomarrow morning" (5 days ago)
  55. Kyle Kane said "where is the mall?" (5 days ago)
  56. Kyle Kane said "cya for the night" (5 days ago)
  57. blue colth said "thanks kyle but its going to be postponed till another day unless if some one has Necrotech Syringes then if no one has it well we just have to wait till all of us that want to go have 50 AP" (5 days ago)
  58. blue colth said "and i have to wait my cousin said hes a zombie and hes coming to help" (5 days ago)
  59. blue colth said "so yeah my cousin is in roft wood a very dangorus place but he said hes making good time" (5 days ago)
  60. blue colth said "ok people we have 4 survivers and 1 zombie to help with the fight i do remind u im only going their to make a bigger resistanc with the other survivers and get better items" (5 days ago)
  61. blue colth said "so then i can take the battel even further to the red zone[extremly dangorus] zone so any one is welcom to help out" (5 days ago)
  62. Boss1990 said "I'm gonna search this place out the mother ****ing ass now." (5 days ago)
  63. blue colth said "u guy do u have some hot coco i need i really bad i think im going to drink it 2 im in the mood 4 some hot coco!!!" (5 days ago)
  64. inferno97 said "aaaa blue colth thanks 4 saveing my asss back in that city **** i just came down from the worst place u whant to be i mean zombies all over i saw a group of 500 yeah scary **** aint it" (5 days ago)
  65. bob1245 killed a zombie. (5 days ago)
  66. Puritan James said "Free running lets you go from building to building. If you can get in a VS+2 building adjacent a EHB, you can get in the EHB. Thus, every citadel has an entry point that is only VS+2, unless someone goofs and over barricades. Good luck, I must be off." (5 days ago)
  67. A zombie destroyed the generator. (5 days ago)
  68. A zombie destroyed the radio transmitter. (5 days ago)
  69. A zombie gestured at itself. (5 days ago)
  70. A zombie said "Rrh rrn mrrrh mra rn rnrrh rbab, rh rmrh rrgh rn an marh rh rrh m hrrh" (5 days ago)
  71. A zombie said "Rm rh rrh arh rrh rrh rh rra?" (5 days ago)
  72. A zombie said "Mrrna arrh hrh rrrm" (5 days ago)
  73. A zombie said "Hrh Brrrz rrh rrrh rh hrrh hra mrh" (5 days ago)
  74. A zombie said "Rnn grh hra harh hrrrh?" (5 days ago)
  75. A zombie said "Rmrrnrh mrgh an rh rrh hrh rrrh, brh rh hra ra rn hrrrh" (5 days ago)
  76. A zombie gestured at itself. (5 days ago)
  77. A zombie gestured at a random zombie. (5 days ago)
  78. A zombie said "Rrn rrh" (5 days ago)
  79. A zombie said "Rh rrh nrh hrh man rh rrh rh rrh harh brrn" (5 days ago)
  80. Undead Manticore killed a zombie. (5 days ago)
  81. Steede Bonnet killed a zombie. (5 days ago)
  82. eaglef2 killed a zombie. (5 days ago) ...and another.
  83. wwe champ cena said "thanks a lot Kulvar." (5 days ago)
  84. wwe champ cena said "do u know how long it is postponed colth?" (5 days ago)
  85. wwe champ cena said "i just went to thompson mall" (5 days ago)
  86. wwe champ cena said "there was no sign of zombies." (5 days ago)
  87. Aliza Alli said "if you get a generator out of thompson mall, I just found a radio we can use with it." (5 days ago)
  88. wwe champ cena said "no duh, i have a damn radio." (5 days ago)
  89. FVZA Emery said "This place is pretty safe?" (5 days ago)
  90. FVZA Emery said "Thank you Arturo" (5 days ago)
  91. wwe champ cena said "i won't be on tonight, i got on too many times and the server says i have to log off. see yall tomorrow." (4 days ago)
  92. DixieF said "where does one find shotguns?" (4 days ago)
  93. DixieF said "I take it there is no way to trade items also" (4 days ago)
  94. Blk Gryphon said "what happend to the generator?" (4 days ago) ...and again.
  95. Erin Fields killed OMyFrag. (4 days ago)
  96. Capt Prophet said "hey Emery, keep the thread up to date and i'll try and stay with you." (4 days ago)
  97. Undead Manticore said "You can't trade items really, and you can find shotguns in police depts." (4 days ago)
  98. FVZA Emery said "Roger that Prophet, will do and thanks for the help, after this morning I should have more AP and I will begin moving north. Im hoping to find a shotgun." (4 days ago)
  99. blue colth said "if u keep seacrchin ull get a shour gun here and wwe champ well leave soon im just waiting 4 one mr person" (4 days ago)
  100. sanzo09 said "danmit blue whent ou and hes not back yet i need to go look 4 him any one ehant to help" (4 days ago)
  101. inferno97 said "yeah ill go he did help me so" (4 days ago)
  102. inferno97 said "i should" (4 days ago)
  103. inferno97 said "well we found him hes at saint some thing hospital just above the tompson mall" (4 days ago)
  104. blue colth said "its ok im back and i brought a massive collectoin of hot coco=D oo be carfull its hot mary thanks giving=D =[ so any way i saved relantern guy from being eaten and boy axe proficance and advanxed shoutgun thing not free running ill get that later" (18 hours and 36 minutes ago)
  105. inferno97 said "hi every on thier be a zed outside that wants to be human is any one kind enough to kill and revive them it would be nice" (18 hours and 32 minutes ago)
  106. Lahnari killed a zombie. (13 hours and 2 minutes ago)
  107. wwe champ cena said "there is no way to get" (11 hours and 32 minutes ago)
  108. wwe champ cena said "in thompson mall." (11 hours and 31 minutes ago)
  109. Blk Gryphon said "ok i have set up a generator but we need some fule for it" (4 days ago)
  110. blue colth said "ok how was the atupid ass to barricade the doors it says keep at VS+2 its a safe area their is rarly any zombies !!!!!!! how did it" (3 days ago)
  111. blue colth said "u see this ima hero u cant heavily barricade the place u can't now i only have 2 Ap thanks to the guy that barricaded it somemore if u whant to barricade it check the city ur in then go to wiki on the bottom go to map of suberb find ur place that ur in---" (3 days ago)
  112. blue colth said "and if its green leave it hoe it is if its red thennnn barricade it some more we need to stop being selfish and help every one we can" (3 days ago)
  113. Captain Good Times said "hey" (3 days ago)
  114. Captain Good Times said "." (3 days ago)
  115. A zombie destroyed the generator. (3 days ago)
  116. Miaomiao killed a zombie. (3 days ago)
  117. Blue Moon killed Living Justice. (3 days ago)
  118. blue colth said "every one i did it the tompson mall is open hurry and get in it befor it close againe its 4 to the west lets go wwe champ cena!!!! hurry" (2 days ago)
  119. inferno97 said "o **** he did it lets go!!!! sanzo" (2 days ago)
  120. sanzo09 said "**** that im in lets go guys+D" (2 days ago)
  121. sanzo09 said "here guys a presant from tompson mall hurry blue colth is waiting 4 all of u" (2 days ago)
  122. Officer Fitzpatrick said "So where are the decent shops to?"

some idiot read zombie...

  1. A zombie magpie said "Just for note, I'm not a zombie. The last thing I need is some idiot reading 'zombie' and killing me again." (15 hours and 41 minutes ago)
  2. A flare was fired 1 block to the west and 1 block to the north. (12 hours and 55 minutes ago)
  3. A zombie killed A zombie magpie. (7 hours and 54 minutes ago)

Nobody Expects the Maltonian Inquisition

  • Macho Nachos said "NOBODY expects the Maltonian Inquisition!" (6 hours and 50 minutes ago)
  • Anthony Jackson said "NOBODY expects the Maltonian Inquisition!" (6 hours and 44 minutes ago)
  • Fisu said " oh, that line is so CORNY now, why do you carry on?" (6 hours and 43 minutes ago)
  • Macho Nachos said "But... But... *looks at Mortificant*" (6 hours and 43 minutes ago)
  • Anthony Jackson said "oh, that line is so CORNY now, why do you carry on?" (6 hours and 43 minutes ago)
  • Fisu said "Well you didn't have to say it!" (6 hours and 42 minutes ago)
  • Stuge said "This is silly! I didn't want to join the Maltonian Inquisition anyway. I wanted to be... a lumberjack!" (6 hours and 40 minutes ago)
  • Stuge said "Leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia! The Fir! The Larch! The Redwood! The mighty Scots Pine!" (6 hours and 40 minutes ago)
  • Stuge said "The smell of fresh-cut timber! The crash of mighty trees!" (6 hours and 40 minutes ago)
  • Climate Change said "I'm a frail adoring blonde; I take Stuge's hand and look into his eye!" (6 hours and 40 minutes ago)
  • Stuge said "With my best gal by my side, we'd sing, SING..." (6 hours and 39 minutes ago)
  • Anthony Jackson said " He's a lumberjack, and he's okay! He sleeps all night and he works all day." (6 hours and 39 minutes ago)
  • Stuge said "Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay! I sleep all night and I work all day." (6 hours and 39 minutes ago)
  • Stuge said " I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory. On Wednesdays I go shoppin' and have buttered scones for tea." (6 hours and 38 minutes ago)
  • Macho Nachos said "He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch, he goes to the lavatory. On Wednesdays he goes shoppin' and has buttered scones for tea." (6 hours and 38 minutes ago)
  • Fisu said "He's a lumberjack, and he's okay. He sleeps all night and he works all day!" (6 hours and 37 minutes ago)
  • Stuge said " I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers. I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars!" (6 hours and 37 minutes ago)
  • Anthony Jackson said "He cuts down trees, he wears... high heels? Suspenders... and a bra?!" (6 hours and 36 minutes ago)
  • Fisu said "*ahem* erm...He's a lumberjack, and he's okay! He sleeps all night and he works all day!" (6 hours and 36 minutes ago)
  • Stuge said "I cut down trees, I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra! I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa!" (6 hours and 36 minutes ago)
  • 26.11 MHz: "The Monty Python Lumberjacks are PKers don't join in singing" (6 hours and 35 minutes ago)
  • Fisu said "He cuts down trees, he wears... high heels? Suspenders... and a bra?!" (6 hours and 33 minutes ago)
  • Macho Nachos said "Wants to be a girlie?! ...Poofter! Bloody poofter!" (6 hours and 33 minutes ago)
  • Climate Change said "He cuts down trees, he wears... high heels? Suspenders... and a bra?!" (6 hours and 33 minutes ago)
  • Climate Change said "Change: Oh, Stuge! And I thought you were so RUGGED!!" (6 hours and 33 minutes ago)
  • Stuge said "And I thought you were my adoring girly, Change m'lass!" (6 hours and 32 minutes ago)
  • Stuge said "However, a little bird tells me you have been having it away with Cardinal Fisu there!" (6 hours and 32 minutes ago)
  • Stuge said "Not only that, but you're a transvestite and I'm sure that's some kind of sin! So I'll have to kill you. All in a day's work for an Inquisitor!" (6 hours and 31 minutes ago)
  • Macho Nachos killed Climate Change. (6 hours and 31 minutes ago)
  • Fisu said "It wasn't me!" (6 hours and 28 minutes ago)
  • Fisu said "It wasn't what it was! No! It didn't look like what it was! No! Damn! uhhh!" (6 hours and 27 minutes ago)
  • Stuge said "Cardinal Nachos, what have you done? ... Well, I suppose it was you or me. Now where's that mongrel Fisu?" (6 hours and 26 minutes ago)
  • Stuge killed Fisu. (6 hours and 26 minutes ago)
  • Macho Nachos said "Well Cardinal Stuge, you showed dangerous defective tendencies in that little musical fling. And killing another Cardinal? I'm afraid I'm going to have to punish you severely!" (6 hours and 26 minutes ago)
  • Macho Nachos killed Stuge. (6 hours and 25 minutes ago)
  • Macho Nachos said "Ha! NOBODY expected that ending!" (6 hours and 24 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Mrh?" (6 hours and 23 minutes ago)
  • will ingham said "Not even me - and I wrote the script! MERRY CHRISTMAS MALTON from the Maltonian Inquisition!" (6 hours and 23 minutes ago)
  • You heard a loud groaning from very close by. (6 hours and 23 minutes ago)
  • A zombie gestured at will ingham. (6 hours and 22 minutes ago)
  • Macho Nachos said "Oh, Stuge, you silly Zombie, that's enough moaning and groaning! It's the Christmas season! *decorates the zombie with bells and tinsel* Now, go forth and spread good cheer! HAPPY CHRISTMAS!" (6 hours and 22 minutes ago)
  • hunterhealer killed a zombie. (exactly 6 hours ago)
  • scannol killed a zombie. (5 hours and 58 minutes ago)
  • hunterhealer said "Thanks scannol. I dumped his worthless ass outside. Now I can look for much needed ammo!" (5 hours and 57 minutes ago)
  • Macho Nachos said "Oh, no! You murdered my friends! They were happy, yueltide zombies, here for carols, laughter and play! The Lord shall punish ye. Oh, who am I kidding. Happy christmas to you both." (5 hours and 52 minutes ago)
  • A flare was fired 4 blocks to the west and 2 blocks to the south. (5 hours and 9 minutes ago)
  • A flare was fired 11 blocks to the north. (4 hours and 35 minutes ago)
  • Joe JoMomma said "I've got FAKS and I'm not afraid to use them! I will be on in a few hours, pls let me know if you need healing" (1 hour and 48 minutes ago)
  • Ribald Corello said "Macho Nachos has been killed for PKing! This is for DEM: http://tinyurl.com/fvcbv and http://www.ud-malton.info/PK_list.cgi?State=Reports&id=236471" (1 hour and 47 minutes ago)
  • Ribald Corello killed Macho Nachos. (1 hour and 46 minutes ago)
  • 26.11 MHz: "ScorpionBob sleeps with the fishes." (1 hour and 23 minutes ago)

trigger happy... with flares...

seen during the january 07 zombie raid of nichols mall

A flare was fired 9 blocks to the west and 3 blocks to the north. (5 hours and 11 minutes ago) ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago) ...and again. (5 hours and 10 minutes ago)

The First Zombie Orchestra

As performed in the Whippey Building [53, 22]. The audience consisted of approximately 200 humans. Performance recorded by Mark D. Stroyer.

  • A zombie said "Ahn Nah hra gargh abbah Bra!nz" (46 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Zarang man braanz arrh naaz!" (46 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Bra!nz arh babbah babbah mmmm..." (45 minutes ago)
  • Tugbottom killed a zombie. (45 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Bra!nz marhg zambahz gah mmmm...." (45 minutes ago)
  • You heard a loud groaning from very close by. (45 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Harman bra!nz marhg zahbahz gah mmmm... Mmmm.." (45 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Gabahmahn." (44 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Braz brammag, ahn ah zazza graz gah garrah ahn gabbah ahn ah grab" (44 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Zambah zambah ARG ARG ARG!" (44 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Ahm mammza ahn ah barragagaz, ahn ah mamz rahz ahbgrab." (44 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Baraha ah Gabahmahn, mah zahmbah! Ah gaba ah brag, ah grabba ah grab!" (43 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Baraha hra gahgahbargam, ahn rahn ah haramanaz bamaznahg!" (43 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Zahmbah Z!ng!ng" (43 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Hara Grh!zna, Hara Grh!zna, Hara Hara Grh!zna!" (42 minutes ago)
  • Gritz McBlitz said "Dont talk with your mouth full!" (42 minutes ago)
  • DocHolydai said "Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna" (42 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Ah Zahmbah, Z!ng!ng, Garg, Ghambrahahm, ---, Ah Zahmbah, Z!ng!ng, Garg, Ghambrahahm" (41 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Hara Rama, Hara Rama, Rama Rama, Hara Hara. Hara Grh!zna, Hara Grh!zna, Grh!zna Grh!zna, Hara Hara." (41 minutes ago)
  • Gritz McBlitz said "rama lama ding dong" (41 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Harmanz, Z!ng ah Zahmbahz!" (41 minutes ago)
  • DocHolydai said "Maltons First Zombie Orchestra at Whippey, tickets please" (41 minutes ago)
  • Gritz McBlitz said "lol a zombie hari krishna, classic" (40 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Ah Zahmbah, Z!ng!ng, Garg, Ghambrahahm, ---, Mah Garg, Ghambrahahm" (40 minutes ago)
  • Gritz McBlitz said "/me claps, /me reaches for shotty" (40 minutes ago)
  • HereticSoul said "Take down Mall Tour '07, blah blah... join the Malton Riot Squad" (39 minutes ago)
  • Gritz McBlitz killed a zombie. (39 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Ah Zahmbah harharh, Garg, Ghambrahahm, ---, Ah Zahmbah harharh, Garg, Ghambrahahm" (39 minutes ago)
  • al ducky killed a zombie. (39 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Ah Zahmbah harharh, Garg, Ghambrahahm, ---, Mah Garg, Ghambrahahm" (39 minutes ago)
  • Gritz McBlitz said "hes not singing anymore! hes not singing anymore!" (39 minutes ago)
  • al ducky killed a zombie. (38 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Nah Harm Z!ng!ng Zahmbah!" (38 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Bah bah bah, bah bah baram" (38 minutes ago)
  • DocHolydai said "toreador do you want a human voice? you could improve your tremolo..." (38 minutes ago)
  • Gritz McBlitz said "seems to shame to kill toreador, hes given me first belly laff playin this game" (37 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Zahmbahz bahbah annah" (37 minutes ago)
  • Gritz McBlitz said "The word toreador is used in English to designate the main performer of ... It has been said that the hispanesque word toreador was created by the French ..." (36 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Bra!z Zambah G-Zaz, Zambah G-ZAZ," (36 minutes ago)
  • Gritz McBlitz said "bad baaad copy and paste" (35 minutes ago)
  • Zombie slay3r killed a zombie. (35 minutes ago)
  • DocHolydai said "Ah, Bravo! Toro! Toreador!" (35 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Baarh ahn brahnz, Zarbrahahz, Zhamaamba, Hara Rama," (35 minutes ago)
  • Gritz McBlitz said "The word toreador is used in English to designate the main performer of Spanish-style bullfighting, who taunts and kills the bull. This word, which roughly translates as bull handler, is not used in Spain or Latin America, where that role is called" (35 minutes ago)
  • Gritz McBlitz said "matador (killer) or torero." (35 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Hara Grh!zna, Hara Grh!zna, Hara Hara Grh!zna!" (35 minutes ago)
  • A zombie said "Ahh Zambahz habbah, Ahz nah bam Harmanz" (34 minutes ago)
  • Gritz McBlitz said "can u sing an MC hammer song next?" (34 minutes ago)
  • Zombie slay3r said "Do you want to be revived zombie?" (33 minutes ago)
  • Zombie slay3r revivified a zombie. (33 minutes ago)
  • DocHolydai said "i wish i could stay for the performance but i have an appointment at the library, can someone please write a review of these events and post them on the wiki?" (32 minutes ago)

Amish Attack

Witnessed in Bale Mall (SW Corner) on 2/22/08.

  • 15242 killed Legs McGulliver. (4 hours and 26 minutes ago)
  • 15242 killed Starmoon. (4 hours and 24 minutes ago)
  • 15242 destroyed the generator. (4 hours and 23 minutes ago)
  • 15242 destroyed the radio transmitter. (4 hours and 22 minutes ago)
  • 15242 destroyed the tree. (4 hours and 21 minutes ago)
  • 15242 said "I feel like I've accomlished a lot here tonight. Support your local amish and good day." (4 hours and 20 minutes ago)
  • TomD said "aw man not the tree what a dick" (1 hour and 32 minutes ago)

Zombie Love

St. Eusebius's Hospital in Ketchelbank, during massive zombie attack, 28th October 2008

  • Vala Maldoran said "Oi, where'd the zeds come from?!?" (3 hours and 34 minutes ago)
  • Skip O'Fooer said "Well, when a mommy zed and a daddy zed love each other very much..." (3 hours and 34 minutes ago)
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