The profile police/archive

April 07

April 23

Hypocritical, much?

It should be belief, if I'm not mistaken. Your mission is sort of noble-ish, but please, make sure your Wiki page is free from grammatical errors if you are going to police Malton's profiles. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? --VenetianBlind 03:35, 23 April 2007 (BST), of the Sex Possy PS: Yes, our name is spelled incorrectly. Yes, it is intentional.

April 29

Gentlemen - I did NOT know that it was considered bad form or vandalism to edit your main page. Any further commentary I have to offer I will place here. However, as I mentioned, I consider my axe suitably ground. Heavens! This world is so frought with potential transgressions for which the sentence could easily be death! Perhaps I'd best just return to my efforts to strengthen myself and rid Lockettside of these foul undead. If you wish me to move my other comments here, I will comply, but they are fairly funny where they are, I hope. - Recon Squid

In case anyone viewing this is mentally handicapped, this message is obviously fake. And no one edited the profile police main page, they're just trying to not look like such hypocrites.

Have a nice day... I'm not bothering to sign this message properly because the PKers will probably just change what it says.

May 07

May 2

If you guys had any guts you would post links to your profiles. You are the profile police after all.--Mikehendo 04:10, 2 May 2007 (BST)

SGT JAW said that this man's profile was immaculate. May I prove you wrong? It should be NecroTech, not necrotech, as it is a proper noun. "silly" in the second sentence should be capitalized, as should "english". Also, the periods before the first sentence are not needed. -Mark D. Stroyer ^SoH 17:45, 2 May 2007 (BST)

May 3

Sorry for removing the image, VenetianBlind, was taking up too much space. Thank you for your comments.

Mike Hendo, here are some of our profiles, more to follow:

The Trot Man: http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=661639

The Sard Killer: http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=672718

Romero Trot: http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=642863

Squid, I wasn't referring to you being the vandal. Feel free to add your observations anywhere you see fit. The Profile Police is a public service after all.

Mark D. Stroyer, I quite agree. And this is not the first time JAW has made such mistakes. Sometimes I think he's only in The Profile Police for the extremely sexy uniform.

I think that in the build up to today's educational Mall attack it's clear that The Profile Police are bringing the whole of Malton together. Having us as their common enemy, many Lockettside groups are now all united in their illiterateness. -The Trot Man

- WARNING! Over the last couple of weeks I've noticed a distinct absence of humour across Malton! -Romero Trot

Ever one to revel in pedantry, I will point out that you should have said, "illiteracy” instead of ‘illiterateness.’ It’s nice to know that even persons with such complete command of the English lexicon as The Profile Police may err from time to time. While currently my violent tendencies are reserved for the stinking undead, my love of the clever and the accurate definitely qualifies me as a sympathizer. Some of the profiles I have read are simply embarrassing.

May I ask that you post your 'teachings' here as you execute (heh) them? Having missed your last few visits to the mall, it would doubtless be entertaining to have a record, and also a wonderful opportunity to educate a wider audience.

Thanks in advance. -Squid Boy

Although you are technically correct, I kinda like sound of illiterateness better. It has a sort of apt quality to it, under the circumstances.

We have indeed been thinking of posting screenshots of some of our lectures... Watch this space.

Superb use of the word 'lexicon', by the way. -The Trot Man

May 5

It appears Lockettside has declared war on you gents. I still can't see why. I see your efforts as a form of Darwinism. If you're not smart enough to spell your damned profile correctly, how can I count on you to hold that barricade next to me? At worst, these lessons result in a brief trip to the Rev point and back. At best, the lessons learned may insinuate themselves into the survivors larger existence, allowing for greater career success, the ability to attract hotter women, and perhaps finally having some individual outside of the Internet actually pay attention to something they say. Really, this is a win-win. Carry on Gentlemen! Battle the forces of mediocrity and they who take themselves too seriously! Carry on! Oh you band of brothers! Once more into the teach, or close the wall up with our Urban Dead!! --Squid Boy 14:47, 5 May 2007 (BST)

"Once more into the teach"! Squidward you friggin kill me! --8 Bucks 19:36, 5 May 2007 (BST)

May 6

One of you dorks turned LilPippi into a zombie today on the basis that I "have a dirty mouth." Apparently, you are not familiar with children's literature. Old Man and Mister Nelson are not in any way inappropriately suggestive. Old Man and Mister Nelson are Pippi Longstocking's pet horse and monkey. ScorHPOTD's mind was clearly in the gutter. I suppose it's what I should expect from a prepubescent child. Get it right idiot. —The preceding Template:Wikipedia comment was added by Lilpippi (talk • contribs) 11.52 May 6, 2007.

ScorHPOTD also has poor grammar. His profile contains a parenthetical phrase that is missing one comma, and it doesn't read well. Does protocol suggest he shoot himself? People in glass houses . . . you're turning into just another PK group with a half-assed excuse for murder. I . . . I respected you once. You've broken my heart. Shame! --Zoopers 17:21, 6 May 2007 (BST)

- It saddens me to hear this, Zoopers and Lilpippi. ScorHPOTD is clearly a new member of the PP and perhaps doesn't understand our protocol. No further PP events have been planned since last thursday's lecture in Tompson Mall. The next is the Non-descripts Day Of Learning, more information to follow. In the meantime, any attacks will be maverick ones not sanctioned by the PP.

Perhaps in future we will need to have a better vetting system. The minimum age requirement for the PP is 30. After an internal inquiry, if ScorHPOTD does prove to be pubeless, he will be evicted from the PP. The rest of us are extremely hairy, except Romero who is shaven like a newborn baby. --The Trot Man 18:19, 6 May 2007 (BST)

Look at what I just heard on my wireless:

A flare was fired 1 block to the east and 1 block to the south. (4 hours and 22 minutes ago) 27.53 MHz: "Attention all, anyone who has a profile police member in" (2 hours and 40 minutes ago) 27.53 MHz: "their immediate vicinity please broadcast their location." (2 hours and 39 minutes ago)

I guess they're fairly serious about you fellows! --Squid Boy 22:09, 6 May 2007 (BST)

May 7

- The good people of Malton will learn, whether they like it or not. They'll thank us for it in the future. If the world's educational establishments caved in to rebellion or truancy, where would we be? We may have undead anarchy on the streets, but by God!, we'll have order in the classrooms! It's a thankless job we do.--The Trot Man 13:25, 7 May 2007 (BST)

May 8

- As I'm currently putting my group page together, I was wondering if The Profile Police have been working on a template for insertion into other groups pages. Specifically something with your group logo and a tagline like, "This group supports literacy regardless of the situation". I think "Those Dudes" would love to have that linked to their group page. --8 Bucks 15:40, 8 May 2007 (BST)

Are you really doing any 'policing' or what? Never seen you guys around before... --_Ducis ^Dux_Sloth^Talk 15:43, 8 May 2007 (BST)

- And another note: I sincerely apologise for adding my comments to your groups main page. Being new to the wiki thing I didn't realize that it is considered vandalism. --8 Bucks 19:59, 8 May 2007 (BST)

-Hmm... to add to the madness and assist my fellow P.P. hunters here is a little resource that may prove useful.

Mighty Axewound http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=680324

Sgt JAW http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=679558

Romero Trot http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=642863

The Sard Killer http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=672718

The Trot Man http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=661639

Doctor Ribsaw http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=717069

Brian Sponge http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=679530

scorHPOTD http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=143683

Ford Focus http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=679541 --Wedge14 21:07, 8 May 2007 (BST)

May 9

8 Bucks, great idea. Sounds like the beginnings of The Legions Of Literacy. We'll put some thought into it. --The Trot Man 14:49, 9 May 2007 (BST)

May 11

I'm still waiting for you at the hospital, guys. Come on, I thought you were going to "educate" me ;) --Izumi Orimoto

Izumi, I might come by and shoot you later just for being annoying. --8 Bucks 16:26, 11 May 2007 (BST)

May 12

The Non-Descript Day Of Learning is on my birthday :D --Delt

Izumi have you even listened to what they've said to you or read this wiki page? You're not at risk with a clear profile. Though if they were the "Plagarism Police" you'd be in trouble for that Valkyrie Group symbol... --Squid Boy 18:31, 12 May 2007 (BST)

You guys are lame. Very lame. Real big of you, running around killing people for grammatical errors. --michaelbogardus 21:01, 12 May 2007 (AST)

I suppose ignorance is a virtue these days...the Valkyrie symbol is a sigil. Jimmy Page didn't invent it for the Led Zeppelin IV cover, nor was he the first to use it. It was created for "Ars Magica Arteficii" by Gerolamo Cardano in 1557. It represents the planet Saturn and is taken from a combination of Zodiac symbols. Please, check your history before you comment. --Izumi Orimoto

May 13

I love this group page, I really do. It's like a soap opera in here. A new batch of drama every day. It's a shame things have settled down at the mall so much. A hoard of zombie targets and a chance of PP drama upon every log in made my character in Tompson by far my favorite to log in to. More to come, I hope.--StapleDog 08:58, 13 May 2007 (BST)

I fully support the goals of the Profile Police and, while I wouldn't actually kill someone just because they're sporting a profile that is a crime against everything good and grammarly, I certainly will stand by and watch, pointing and laughing, as the Profile Police do it. I hope one day to have the good fortune to see Ms Orimoto on the receiving end of the Profile Police's Board of Education. While her spelling and grammar are good she is, as has already been pointed out by 8 Bucks, annoyingly humorless. --Ghidorah 22:09, 13 May 2007 (BST)

May 14

-- Izumi, I must admit I didn't know that - thanks for the knowledge, albeit with a healthy side of smarmy. Wouldn't you have loved to blow my head off after that 'gotcha' session of edification? SEE? You're not so different from the PP - you definitely derived a smug sense of superiority dropping that knowledge (undoubtedly googled after the fact).

Yet, I think it's a hollow victory. While the swastika was invented far before the Nazis appropriated it Izumi, the symbol is now forever associated with their diabolical efforts. If you're saying to me that you didn't first see that on a Led Zep album, I call you not only tiresome, but a prevaricator as well. I wasn't asking why messrs Page, Plant, Bonham and Jones chose the symbol. Your explanation smacks more of a rationalization for being devoid of originality. The point was it's a non sequitor for your group.

Perhaps you'll further school me what a Valkyrie has to do with an Italian astrologer's image of Saturn? My understanding is that the Valkyries were the warrior-maiden servants of Odin in Norse mythology. If you stretch to Odin, he is more associated with Mercury if any planet at all, and the Valkyries have no planetary associations I can find. Come on, admit it, you just thought it looked "cool." --Squid Boy 13:17, 14 May 2007 (BST)

I've sent my very best character to Lockettside in full support of the Legions of Literacy. Barf Chunkwill be there in support of literacy and general scientific knowledge. He is also handy with a weapon and might just blast someone for being annoying. 8 Bucks 21:29, 14 May 2007 (BST)

Go ahead, shoot me. Around lockettside, I'm considered a pretty swell gal. As long as I'm standing, I never stay dead for more than ten minutes. A shotgun to the head will not bother me one bit. Let's see how long you stay alive afetr word gets out that you killed me, though. OH wait, I forgot! You gutless cowards always run and hide! I guess such is the life of a maggot like you. ^.^ Izumi Orimoto 22:33, 14 May 2007 (BST)

I'm a member of Lockettide's community, and I've found you rather joyless and combative in general.--Squid Boy 22:54, 14 May 2007 (BST)

Sounds like someone has a Necrotech syringe stuck in an incomfortable place. Izumi, you hang out in a Hospital, ask around and see if someone can help you out with that. (so to speak)

As much as I'm no fan in general of PK'ing for the sake of PK'ing, I'm a big fan of those who can make a joke, and a bigger fan of those who can take a joke.8 Bucks 23:14, 14 May 2007 (BST)

May 15

For your little day of learning tomorrow, I'd like it if you could make your first stop at St. Alexander's. I think I am in need of an "education" :-) I'll be waiting for you, m'dears! Izumi Orimoto 19:33, 15 May 2007 (BST)

My hunt for members of the PP has begun with the killing of the sard killer and severe injuring of The Trot man both in Wykewood with my early sighting of Romeo Trot also in Wykewood. No member of the profile police is safe untill they stop teaching near Ruddlebank or its surrounding burbs my little brother Blk Gryphon sends his regrets for not killing you himself to all members of the pp I kill and asks you state him as your number 1 target. So you know I'm not botherd about your teachings in any other suburb exept the 8 surrounding Ruddlebank and Ruddlebank its self I would probably join you guys if you were in my home suburb I've come from Pitneybank for this hunt and I become human and bought skills too so think yourself Special PP and may your hunt for me go well-- Blood red Bread (sorry about any spelling mistakes im very tired I have been at work 36 hours and do not have the energy to check for any spelling or gramatical errors)

- I think we need to teach you how to use the 'comma'.--The Trot Man 12:09, 16 May 2007 (BST)

May 16

My hunt continues with the killing of The Trot Man. --- Blood red Bread

If you continue with this use of language Blood red Bread, I am quite confident that you could end up at the top of the most educated member list in the Ruddlebank/Lockettside area(s). Good luck in your quest and, as mentioned by my esteemed colleague, in the use of the "comma". --Sgt JAW

Hey I had to do something besides killing you guys to make me a target :P also I don't normaly go on my laptop at midnight and start typing in th dark-----Blood red Bread

Mr.Bread, to be educated in the English language by The Profile Police you simply have to have a poorly written and/or spelt profile and be in the Lockettside area. If you request our services, just let us know where you will be and we will take immediate action to help you in your hour of need. We are, after all, a community service. Sgt JAW

Just to let you buggers know, I was there for the NDDoL, I did my bit for the PP, now leave me alone to enjoy my pint! Mighty Axewound 15:46, 16 May 2007 (BST)

Those Dudes officially support literacy. We are, however, conflicted about the PK'ing. --8 Bucks 18:09, 16 May 2007 (BST)

Axewound, thanks for visiting us today. The greatest birthday present I got today was seeing you combat the Legions of Illiteracy. XD --Delt

I cannot tell you where I hide because I'm hunting you and expect you are hunting me and as telling you where I hide will give you another advantage over me your first advantage being numbers all I can say is I do not move far from a kill and the streets of Ruddlebank and Lockettside are quite safe for suvivors to rest without hassle ---- Blood red Bread

I'm in the process of making an unofficial logo for the Profile Police. I believe it to be a necessity for the Legions of Illiteracy know the face of their enemy.

Also, to Izumi, your slander is quite annoying. I suppose that I will have to deal with your request to be educated. Will you be at the hospital two days from now? If not, tell me so we can reschedule our appointment. --Delt

How come you guys never stay for awhile after educating us? You run along so quickly, we never even have time to thank you! Izumi Orimoto 23:56, 16 May 2007 (BST)

I believe I've made the talk page more organized and prettier to look at, wouldn't you agree? By the way Izumi, as I was going through your posts you've made I've found multiple spelling mistakes. Lastly, I have Blood red Bread's profile link, although I personally don't care. http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=660234

P.S. I feel the need to redo your article, which would still retain most text, if permission is granted. --Delt

May 17

Good evening Gentleman, I'm afraid I've been rather amiss in not adding to the discussion here, especially with being a person with a fine "Profile" that passes your muster. I must however raise several small points which I desire some clarification over.

1) When Pk'ed by Sgt Fleshmonger in Thompson Mall there was nothing wrong with my profile. Whilst I admit to using foul and abusive language to him whilst passing by I didn't realise that he may become that upset. However, considering the public apology for the incident (unfortunately not delivered by the Sgt in question but thank you non the less) I would like to know if your group handed out any punishment as you obviously also found the incident regrettable?

2) Whilst there is no doubt that your work is at times amusing (in a school boyish sort of way) I would like to know the criteria you apply. Are your grammatical laws and spellings of the English language based upon English (UK) (which for all the monarchists out there is obviously the only true English) or is it English (US) (or American as it is often known)? A clear delineation, or if you will "a line in the sand", would be helpful. If the latter I fear your debasement of the English language is a sufficient crime to warrant execution at your own hands.

3) Considering the international element of Urban Dead, do you take into account the nationality of the perpetrator or do you believe that anyone typing in English should be capable of writing for the Queen? Should all foreigners (assuming you yourselves hail from our "Green and pleasant land") in fact type in their own native language and if so do you feel your teaching skills up to the task of policing both "Profiles" and possibly general speech when conducted in, for instance, Spanish, German or even possibly Ukrainian?

I await your responses with anticipation . --Fausta Gummings

P.S. My apologies if any of my ramblings offend your sense of grammar or spelling, however I have had three bottles of the fine beverage known as Newcastle Brown Ale on an empty stomach and am quite frankly getting rather tipsy.

Romero Trot has been killed at my hand, also The Trot man why did you not kill me when you saw me?----- Blood red Bread

-I believe the proper term is by my hand. Also, on an unrelated note, what about having an "Educate on Sight" policy/list. -Delt

May 18

- Fausta, I agree, we will have words with Fleshmonger, and let you know the time of the flogging in Pimm Walk Fire Station.

In regards to language, I think you may have missed the point somewhat. This is educational punishment. Because we care. People should write what they can and through education we will help them on the road to a grammatically perfect profile. A road that will lead to a richer and more insightful life.

We do not punish people for using Americanisms or other debasements of the English language. Just misspellings, typos or grammatical errors. People should feel free to use whatever language they are comfortable with, but the law of the PP applies to all.

- Blood red Bread, although you've clearly journeyed half way across Malton to hunt us, you are sadly inconsequential to the PP. Your profile was in order and I didn't feel you were worthy of the AP it would have cost to punish you for your back chat. --The Trot Man 10:18, 18 May 2007 (BST)

So i have to miss spell a word in my profile for this hunt to be 2 sided? fair enough i will go and edit in a mistake for the fun to realy commence. i shal become worthy of your attention one way or another----- Blood red Bread

I'll be honest you guys are pretty hilarious. When you're located in a quite 'burb like Ruddlebank etc. and you've finally maxed out all of your skills there isn't much you can do. Luckily there is groups like this one that makes things interesting in Malton. Sure...i'm guilty of firing on you guys, but not disrespecting you guys. Thanks for making Malton more enjoyable! I'll only kill Profile Police members if I witness murders from now on. Wedge14 16:49, 18 May 2007 (BST)

Hmm... The Sard Killer is among the dead here at Butler Avenue. I also notice fellow PKer Xanthier Dale dead ouside of the NE corner of Tompson Mall. -Delt

May 21

Ah...Romero...your loss is such sweet sorrow... But mostly sweet. ^_- Love you all, truly... Okay, I'm lying. :) Izumi Orimoto 08:56, 21 May 2007 (BST)

Roses are red, Violets are blue. In Soviet Russia, Izumi shoot YOU! Izumi Orimoto 19:01, 21 May 2007 (BST)

May 22

Obsess much, Izumi? Gadzooks.

I did enjoy witnessing Romero Trot avenge his death upon you, and the tizzy into which it threw your sycophants. --Ghidorah 02:31, 22 May 2007 (BST)

I've said this before, and I'll say it again. We have no wish for confilct. The Valkyries are a peace activist group. But your actions in Lockettside have demanded punishment. We don't want to fight you, but we will defend ourselves and the innocent. Stop killing, and there won't be any problems. Continue, and the Valkyries are ready to launch a full-scale assault, along with about half of the inhabitants of Lockettside. We will find you. And we will eliminate you. Izumi Orimoto 05:16, 22 May 2007 (BST)

- Izumi, I think you fancy me. Sorry, but you're really not my type. You're far too hairy. Romero Trot

- Ooooh, she sounds like my kinda woman. I love a girl with a beard. --Sgt Fleshmonger 12:47, 22 May 2007 (BST)

- 8 Bucks and Those Dudes support The Legions Of Literacy, Izumi. You may think that half of Lockettside will gladly join in your crusade against the literate, but you may want to check the wind direction before you launch such an ill-fated campaign. There are six ways of courting defeat, and Izumi, you are actively courting three at the moment. Also, the Valkyries are occupying accessible ground and as such aren't in a strategically advantageous position. --8 Bucks 17:01, 22 May 2007 (BST)

- Izumi, your mission has to be one of the most retarded I've ever seen in UD. Who in the fuck would think that zeds and harmanz could live together? Also your taking this way to seriously, almost as serious as WoW Drama. I think you really need to get laid. Delt

- Delt, I am truly sorry, but I am afraid I could not care less what you think if I tried. I play in a way that is fun for me. Not how you think I should.

Romero...your comment made my day, really. I highly doubt you have any idea what I look like, unless you're actually one of the freshmen at school who keeps stalking me. I actually keep all parts of myself clean and shaven, and yes, I mean all parts. 0_-

And yes, I am a virgin. And proud of it. I pride myself by not offering myself up to every guy that makes a pass. And believe me, there have been plenty. Delt, please, do tell...have you ever had ANY relations with a member of the opposite sex? Remember, family members do not count unless you live in Alabama.

OH before I forget, please tell your little force that hypocrites don't get to judge anyone. I forget exactly which member it was, but before killing Headcrabbed, he said something along the lines of "Learn how to spell sentance." Yes. Sentence is apparently spelled "sentance" according to your crack team of grammar experts. So how many other words have you killed over where YOU were the ones who couldn't spell them, hm? It makes me wonder...

Izumi Orimoto 22:17, 22 May 2007 (BST)

Izumi, I do apologize for my last remark, it was rather rude and barbaric. However I have had many relations with the opposite gender, being a guitar player does wonders for you. You also must realise that all people make mistakes, even teachers, yet they are also disciplined for their misuse of grammar. Delt

AH. Now I remember who it was. Ford Focus. He killed headcrabbed because apparently sentence is supposed to be spelled "sentance". Good one. If you have any sense of integrity as a group, you will kill him yourselves. Izumi Orimoto 01:58, 23 May 2007 (BST)

I do suppose he will have to be dealt with accordingly. *takes out cat o' nine tails and bondage outfit* Delt

-That explains a few things. Seriously, Izumi, you need to get yourself laid. The Sard Killer

-A shaven virginal schoolgirl!? Now I think I fancy you. Romero Trot

-Ok enough of this childish banter now. Izumi, Ford Focus's badly-spelt 'sentence' was actually witnessed by one of my spies. There will be a series of public punishments for Profile Policemen in the very near future. --The trot man 09:58, 23 May 2007 (BST)

-Headcrabbed was educated because he couldn't construct a sentence, it had nothing to do with his spelling of it. I will admit, that in the heat of the moment, my typing did get a bit frenetic. Generally a sentence will end with a full stop followed by, and this is the important bit, a space, then a capital letter.

Izumi, I feel that as leader of the Valkyries, you should be held responsible for the actions of your underlings. Given your stance against us, you should tell your peons the danger they face in this part of the city if they fail to pass muster. Their blood is on your hands. --Ford Focus 10:22, 23 May 2007 (BST)

You feel? You feel? Who the hell are you? You can't even spell sentence, you surely don't even count in this conversation. Who the hell cares what or how you feel? Seriously, think before speaking. Izumi Orimoto 10:37, 23 May 2007 (BST)

-Whoa lady! I seem to have hit a nerve. I counted in this conversation when you mentioned me. Are you now saying that nobody is allowed to stand up to you and your deranged rantings?

See you on the street sweetheart. --Ford Focus 11:49, 23 May 2007 (BST)

- Well, this used to be a fun page to read, but St. Izumi of the Self-Aggrandizing Sanctimony has reduced it to tedium. Now I must seek for literate entertainment elsewhere. Sigh.

And speaking of hypocrites, it's okay for you to play in a way that's fun for you, but apparently it's not okay for anyone else to play in a way that's fun for them--unless you approve of what's fun for them, of course. --Ghidorah 11:56, 23 May 2007 (BST)

Personally, I just kill these guys for fun, the thrill of the hunt as it were. I could rattle on ad infinitum et nauseum regarding popular support blah blah, but to be honest it doesn't matter if I were alone in this. As long as a PK group/PK'ers are around the suburb of Lockettside and it's surrounding areas, I'll be killing 'em and the only guarantee is that I won't be stopping any time soon. --DariusAPB 12:34, 23 May 2007 (BST)

May 23

- Holy cow Izumi! You're like a professional straight man at a comedy club! If you're actually a virgin, it's not that you're not letting ''every'' guy who makes a pass have a go, you're not letting "any" guy who makes a pass have access. Really I call foul on that. The legions of nerds that undoubtedly surround you could use a little more charity from you.

You'd think someone with such clean sexual thoughts would appreciate a clean profile as well. Just transfer some of that built up unfulfilled sexual energy to correcting your orders' profiles, and all will be well! Those Dudes will stop mocking you, and the Profile Police will stop killing you! You're fighting an uphill battle, and your every post merely supplies additional material. Will you tell me your cup size next? I really look forward to incorporating that into my next comment here.

Also - Gentlemen, I have made revisions to the LOL page. --Squid Boy 15:38, 23 May 2007 (BST)

My sexual thoughts are my business, and mine alone. Thank you. Anyway, I've grown bored of hearing this from you. Most of you have added me to your contacts. You're truly interested in saying something constructive, phone my mobile. Izumi Orimoto 16:16, 23 May 2007 (BST)

I think to be honest Izumi is fighting a battle of principle, I understand and respect this, you guys are in fact simply ensuring by your PKing that they *WON'T* correct their profiles. Enjoy the irony folks, I do. --DariusAPB 16:32, 23 May 2007 (BST)

See? Darius is exactly the kind of fellow in need of your help, Izumi! --Squid Boy 17:35, 23 May 2007

Squid boy that is all you are a stupid moron of a boy grow up you child and while you are probably banging every fat and/or ugly chick with low self esteem just know that some people have standards.----Blood red bread (BST)

Hang on, What are you saying Squid, that i'd like to do a virginial schoolgirl? Well as long as she's legal I don't think i'd have tooooo many objections, I'm only human afterall. =][= --DariusAPB 19:02, 23 May 2007 (BST)

Delt

Wow, you guys have more drama then ASS, The Malton Bounty Emo Killers, and Amazing put together...and now you're getting into Photoshop insults following some seriously fethed sexual harassment! But tell me, as I'm too lazy to read all of this, have there been any references to Nazis or Hitler yet? Cuz that would really add some class to this lovely discussion...and Izumi, you really shouldn't bring RL into this...you don't see me bragging about Brazilian waxes or anything...--Lachryma^☭ 21:03, 23 May 2007 (BST)

Meh...this is mostly my own fault, I shouldn't have said anything referencing my rl self. I guess was merely defending myself from personal remarks...the "She needs to get laid" thing was a little much. Izumi Orimoto 21:28, 23 May 2007 (BST)

That was part of the sexual harassment thing I was talking about. Though I always hear guys saying that to each other, but not to girls...is strange..."Hey, sexy lady! You need to get laid! By anybody!"--Lachryma^☭ 21:33, 23 May 2007 (BST)

You'd think I'd be more upset, but what a group of moronic jerks on the internet thinks of me isn't something I concern myself with too much. The sad part is several of them are adults, I'm merely 15. Izumi Orimoto 21:37, 23 May 2007 (BST)

Bad Izumi! Leave RL out of it! And remember, if any of them ask where you live, call "To Catch A Predator" right away...Anyway, the only time I was actually, really insulted on teh internetz was the time I got called a "dirty farm boy" and a bitch...in the same sentence. And they haven't dropped that low here...--Lachryma^☭ 21:43, 23 May 2007 (BST)

Oh come on, hardly sexual harassment. It's at best rude - which Izumi has repeatedly been herself in other ways. Sexual harrassment implies and requires an imbalance of power in a real relationship - and while I might argue there exists an imbalance of mental power between the proponents and detractors of the PP bantering here, we're all really just fools on the internet. Don't go bandying such heady charges about unless you know what you're talking about. No one mentioned anything Izumi herself didn't bring to this conversation - as she herself admits. It has hardly reached anything above the level of an 'inappropriate jab' at this point.

I'm fine to return to debating the merits of spanking the illiterate if you are. And Blood Red, man brotha - you're the living example of what's being discussed here. I'll bet you inspire folks to join the ranks of PK'ers daily! --Squid Boy 21:48, 23 May 2007 (BST)

Fool, I am never serious. It's a fething wiki! About zombies! TEXT-BASED zombies, no less! But really, some of the feth y'all said could seriously screw up a young woman's sense of her self. And I will not have that! Oh, and you guys should come up to Caiger Mall. A larger collection of dem 'orrible English speakers could not be found anywhere else...--Lachryma^☭ 21:54, 23 May 2007 (BST)

And Izumi young lady - you just volunteered yet MORE information you shouldn't. Seriously, wise up and quit it. --Squid Boy 21:49, 23 May 2007 (BST)

Really? Nothing I didn't bring in myself? "That explains a few things. Seriously, Izumi, you need to get yourself laid. -The Sard Killer" And lets not forget this little bit: "Izumi, I think you fancy me. Sorry, but you're really not my type. You're far too hairy. Romero Trot". I find that pretty uncalled for, until that point I had made no personal remarks to any of you. Izumi Orimoto 21:53, 23 May 2007 (BST)

I think you need to re-read the above if you really don't think you've made personal attacks on the Profile Police. Even so, ALL the comments above are pretty tame internet fare. Perhaps you're too young for this forum, now that we know your age? Do your parents know you are doing this? Those comments still in my mind do not constitute sexual harrassment. I wouldn't want anyone saying them to MY daughter (if I had one), but again that goes to whether or not you should even be here. In any case, I am at peace with my own comments on this front, as unlike in every way those you listed. But in truth, my assumption was that you were not a child. --Squid Boy 22:00, 23 May 2007 (BST)

I'll take that as a compliment >.>

However, I never said it was sexual harassment, Lachryma did. I'm not offended or shocked by anything I've heard here. It's just plain rude. You can continue to be rude, it merely indicates your level of intelligence. The picture bugged me a little, mostly just because it was nasty to look at. Izumi Orimoto 22:19, 23 May 2007 (BST)

You talk like you're arguing with a single person. Can you not see who posted what? An internet debate often runs to the rude. Heat and the kitchen and all that. I think if you start from the beginning here, you'll have to admit that you haven't exactly been the model of politeness. You came to THEIR page and started ranting about their chosen mission. They care enough about this issue to make a wiki page to address it. They see themselves as providing a much needed service, and you threaten them with death. Can you blame them for lashing back? --Squid Boy 22:44, 23 May 2007 (BST)

Actually, I was the one lashing back. They constantly storm my hospital and kill my group members. And not only that, but I personally defend every innocent person in Lockettside. I may have been somewhat rude, I apologize. But at least I know when to quit.Izumi Orimoto 22:49, 23 May 2007 (BST)

Wait, Squid Boy isn't with these Profile Police? How come he's defending them or whatever? --Lachryma^☭ 22:52, 23 May 2007 (BST)

I'm not with them either, I'm just a PKer who likes editing wikis... You still need to get laid >.>

This is a fucking game. Seriously, get over yourself, you sound like every bitchy girl at my school. Although NO girl actually plays UD. It's not you, I just like to fuck around with every other person I meet. Its a great personality trait. Catch you later sweety ;) Delt

Delt said:

Although NO girl actually plays UD

I think lizii, Goolina, and me would disagree with that, Mr. Can't-Sign-Right.--Lachryma^☭ 23:37, 23 May 2007 (BST)

Lachyrma - they crack me up to no end, and while I don't have any intention of being a PK'er anytime soon, I totally agree that there should be some punishment for having a doltish profile. Have you ever seen one of their education sessions? Best comedy I've seen in this game so far! Check out the Legions of Literacy page on this wiki if you want to see our hybrid sympathy organization. --Squid Boy 23:33, 23 May 2007 (BST)

I prefer PKers who kill trenchcoaters, or who kill for fun, like Red Rum. As for comedy...well, maybe. I like the WLC better...--Lachryma^☭ 23:37, 23 May 2007 (BST)

Well, I kill for fun, so if you ever need someone to snuggle with, I'm your man. Teaching sessions also happen to be rather fun to attend. Maybe you should go to one (not that I'm suggesting that you have a grammatically incorrect profile). Mr. Can't-Sign-Right

It's you and your hand tonight, mister, cuz there's no way I'm snuggling with you. Anyway, I'm busy in Molebank right now, so I can't come to said teaching session. But really, do any of those fools actually change their profiles after they get shot for it?--Lachryma^☭ 00:03, 24 May 2007 (BST)

Actually yes, one of them is 1 or 2 on the list and he ammended his profile to our standards. It now proudly states "Profile Police die when I kill them." I'm very proud of him, he is one of the best students in the class now. Mr. Can't-Sign-Right

Amended...ammended...is that the British spelling? And that guy's profile contains circular logic, something that doesn't really work with grammar. But hey, congrats!--Lachryma^☭ 01:01, 24 May 2007 (BST)

May 24

The Profile Police: bringing heated debate to Malton, lol. --The Trot Man 12:58, 24 May 2007 (BST)

Why are half of UD players completely anal? Makes me want to cry ;_; Mr. Can't-Sign-Right

Squid boy the way you act might be funny to some but seriously now enough is enough stfu (i find it funny some bits anyway)-- blood red bread

May 26

-I have an alt in South Blytheville, and my goodness, your impending visit has the town abuzz. There have been radio broadcasts alerting the public that "friends of the Profile Police" Recon Squid and Barf Chunk are in Marven Mall (carrying the strong implication that they should be killed), and I personally witnessed a lengthy rant by a certain Flatliner in which he declared a one-man war on you. This should be fun. --Ghidorah 12:38, 26 May 2007 (BST)

I also witnessed the radio broadcast targeting Recon Squid and Barf Chunk. If they have indeed killed them I say any honorable person should attack the Marven Mall. Being associated doesn't constitute death folks, even bounty hunters would agree. Mr. Can't-Sign-Right

As a matter of fact here it is, took a screenshot of it-

‎

Mr. Can't-Sign-Right

As soon as the server resets, and I can once again login, I'll check on Barf Chunk. (Note to self: Stop being so damned cheap and give Kevan $5!)--8 Bucks 23:50, 26 May 2007 (BST)

Hey, you guys are at Marven Mall? I hated that place, it's one of the lamest malls ever. They didn't even bother to defend the closest NT when the RRF sieged it, and later when my PKer character was there, no one ever tried to kill me, despite the fact that I slept in the same corner of the mall where I'd killed people...show those dumb sheep how UD should be played!--Lachryma^☭ 23:55, 26 May 2007 (BST)

You can do that at Tompson Mall too, I slept in the NecroTech building next to it and a guy said I was a PKer and ran and nobody did anything. 8 Bucks, even when you give him 5 bucks (lol) all the cheap bastard does is raise the hit limit to 300. Damn you Kevan! *gives him $5* Mr. Can't-Sign-Right

May 27

After the IP limit reset, I checked on Barf Chunk. He's fine. As Lachryma said, Marven Mall is the worst. The PK'ing is endless and senseless. I've seen the same guy get PK'd multiple times per day. I can only assume that he's being revived by his own alts. Either way, he keeps coming back and people keep wasting their AP on him. He doesn't do anything but come back and wait for his shotgun blast. --8 Bucks 02:02, 27 May 2007 (BST)

I'll go out on a limb here...if I teach you how to get around the IP limit, will you stay out of Lockettside? There's plenty of fun to be had around Wyke Hills and Ruddlebank...Izumi Orimoto 05:49, 27 May 2007 (BST)

Use a proxy. Like vtunnel.com Whoops, did I just ruin your plan, Izumi?--Lachryma^☭ 06:01, 27 May 2007 (BST)

Ummm, I'm not retarded. I know about proxies. The thing is, when I'm home I can run 3 guys from work then go home and run 3 more, but I'm traveling this week and I'm only able to run 3 guys per day. I could use proxies to run 20 characters if I really wanted to, but that's almost like stealing from Kevan isn't it? He is providing us with a free game and has only asked that if we wish to hit his server more than 160 times a day then we should contribute to the cost. So, once I'm back stateside, I'll send my $30 to Kevan and do my part. I won't make any nonsensical agreements with you, Izumi. I don't even have a character IN Lockettside at the moment so you can quit worrying about Barf Chunk. mmmkay? --8 Bucks 07:28, 27 May 2007 (BST)

I didn't say you had mental problems. And nor do I care about your arrangements or whatever. Still, it's rather noble of you to help Kevan out and all.--Lachryma^☭ 07:56, 27 May 2007 (BST)

Oh, and thanks, Lachryma. While I don't plan to use that proxy for gaming, it has come in handy as a route to visit my favorite message board! (There's some crazy thing here where certain sites just aren't available through traditional means) --8 Bucks 08:44, 27 May 2007 (BST)

Anytime, anytime...--Lachryma^☭ 08:47, 27 May 2007 (BST)

Izumi, 8 Bucks is only associated with the Profile Police, there is no reason why he shouldn't be allowed to stay in Lockettside (unless he plans on attending the field trip). Mr. Can't-Sign-Right

Y'know I'm gonna let something slip, I actually do understand where you are coming from. Many of UD's denizens have profiles that truly are atrocities against the English language. My problem, my personal issue is that the ends do not justify the means. Exitus certaintly doesn't Acta Probat. Some people may well change their profiles, but killing people will make the more stubborn majority refuse to correct themselves.

The other big thing is people who can't spell due to things like dyslexia. You would then be PK'ing people because of a disability and I can't be having that. - As ever, I'll be killing you guys as I would kill any regular PK'er, and I'll enjoy it. But I will say that I do genuinely sympathise. --Inquisitor Darius 18:23, 27 May 2007 (BST)

If a person had dyslexia why would they be playing a text-based game in the first place? --Delt 22:37, 27 May 2007 (BST)

Because they can read perfectly. They just have a problem where now and again words get scrambled. --Inquisitor Darius 22:56, 27 May 2007 (BST)

well said Inquisior Darius. I do have a small dyslexia problem but I can read perfectly and it has wound me up being targeted by the PP for this reason, and as I am very stuborn I deliberatly added spelling mistakes as at first I was willing to change my profile but instead of telling me all my mistakes at once the stupid twits told me one killed me found me when I was revived then pointed out another mistake killing me again. all I can possibly think is that the PP kill for a bad profile at first but then just kill the same people. this is how i made number 2 on the kill list lol-----Blk Gryphon

It sucks to be you, doesn't it? --8 Bucks 00:48, 28 May 2007 (BST)

May 28

Okay, you are in serious need of a proofreader with some grammatical finesse. Fortunately, you have found me.

“In fact, now more than ever literacy and education are absolutely paramount”

You might want a comma in there. Try “In fact, now more than ever, literacy …” although that doesn’t help the sentence very much. Considerably better would be “We believe that it is more important now than ever…” the other is pretty trite and poorly constructed.

“…its surrounding 'burbs need our help the most.”

This isn’t really grammatically incorrect, but if you really want to set a good grammatical example, it’s a pretty sloppy construction. “…are in the greatest need of…” or (better) “…we find a dire (dreadful/terrible/urgent) need at this time in the suburb of …”

“Target buildings with a high survivor population, such as malls or police stations. This way you'll be more likely to find a suitable student, and more people will witness you educating said student, thus raising our profile.”

Okay, this isn’t horrible, but the second sentence … is … well, let’s just say that the sentence-construction police should never see this. It could POSSIBLY be helped by putting the first sentence as a clause and joining them with a semicolon: "Target buildings with a high survivor population, such as malls or police stations; this way you'll be more likely to find a suitable student, and more people will witness you educating said student, thus raising our profile."

Still bad, but at least that second sentence doesn’t start with a dangling “This way…” (this way WHAT? Don’t start a sentence in that fashion, that crosses the line from bad grammar to bad manners). If you REALLY want my opinion, and of course you do or you wouldn’t have asked, you could reconstruct it thus:

"Focus on places where a large number of people congregate, such as malls or police stations; this increases your chances of finding a suitable student. By targeting buildings in which there is a large survivor population, you will have more witnesses to your lesson and thus our profile will be raised."

“…raising our profile” sounds horrible, but I left it alone, as I am unsure what it means. Is ”our profile” a reference to the fame of the group, or is there a specific measure of something known as “profile?” I could find no reference to it on this Wiki.

“… a shotgun blast to the knee caps should suffice.”

I’m almost certain that the word should be “kneecaps” not “knee caps” … let’s check the Webster. Why yes! As a matter of fact, “kneecaps” is preferred over the other way. As a matter of fact, the two-word construction doesn’t even make it into my Websters (points off for you).

“…soon-to-be undead corpse…”

Okay, the rules aren’t hard and fast, but I think most style books ask that you hyphenate ALL modifiers, thus:

“…soon-to-be-undead corpse…”

Actually, a thought occurs---if they are not yet undead, or even dead, it’s not really a corpse, is it? Perhaps it might be better to say,

"…soon-to-be-undead body…" (you could also use “carcass” as that is quaint and comical, or “form” if you want to sound a bit melodramatic)

“And don't forget to dump their body outside the building;”

Most grammarians will forgive starting a sentence with a conjunction these days. I’ve done it myself a few times. It is really just noted for trivia’s sake.

“There is no excuse for level 41 non-descripts.”

There’s really nothing wrong with this sentence, but it FEELS bad. We all know the defined term non-descript, so it isn’t really that, just that construction feels so awkward. It would be so much better to say:

“A 41st level non-descript is just plain inexcusable.” (or pathetic/sad/silly/depressing/ridiculous or other adjective of that nature)

“Under the idiom that no publicity is bad publicity…”

Another awkward construction---I suppose it isn’t really incorrect to say that something is UNDER an idiom, but it’s just…oddly phrased. It would sound so much more intelligent to say “Adhering to…” or even better (and tastier!) “Ascribing to the idiom…”

You could also use “adage” instead of idiom and you could re-phrase the adage as “Any publicity is good publicity.” The meaning is a little clearer with the positive adjective.

“Matthew Smithson changed his name by deed poll to…”

Is there something called a “deed poll”? I am unfamiliar with such a thing, and unable to find it in any reference. Unless the reader is familiar with the (presumably) defined term deed poll, the sentence is confusing.

“The Sard Killer is one of the PP's highest ranking educators.”

“…highest ranking” should be hyphenated, “…highest-ranking…”

“…and not particularly likable firefighter before the outbreak.”

My instinct says that the phrase “not particularly likable” should be hyphenated to “not-particularly-likable.” Still very ugly, though. You could re-construct this to the much more comfortable

“Desmond was a brutish firefighter, and not a particularly likable one, before the outbreak.”

Note that it could be constructed as “Before the outbreak, Desmond was…” as well without losing anything.

“When Malton was taken over by the undead and anarchy came to the streets he took revenge for the practical jokes he suffered in the belief that consequence equals effect.”

Oh my god! You’ve missed TWO whole commas in this sentence. The humanity!! They need to be between “…streets, he” and “suffered, in”.

"It was this same belief that led him to the welcoming arms of the PP."

It isn’t absolutely incorrect, but “…this same…” is one of those junior high-school English teacher pet peeves. It’s pretty redundant. “…this belief…” loses nothing and sounds much better.

ALL NEW HISTORY AND NEWS TO BE ADDED TO THE BOTTOM

Again with the hypens --- ALL NEW should be “ALL-NEW”

“…attack of Thompsons Mall today.”

“…attack on …” unless Tompson Mall actually attacked someone. Which I would pay to see.

“Any survivors wanting tutoring, should head to the mall for about 1.15pm GMT.”

The comma is incorrect. Also, I question the use of “for” in this sentence, I can not imagine why you would have “for” instead of “before” or “at” or “around” or some other preposition.

“The Mall being under siege is no excuse for us all to get lax with our grammar, now is it!”

Questions end with question marks. Which is why that punctuation mark is called that. There’s no reason to get sloppy with our punctuation, is there?

“Our fears of being confronted by a barrier of illiterate protest went unfounded,…”

I’m not going to broach whether it is appropriate to say that fears “went unfounded”, I think it is more common to say they “were unfounded” but I’ll leave that one. I think it is interesting that illiterate protest can form a barrier. How exactly DOES an abstract concept like “protest” form a barrier? It would be interesting to see that … unless protest is invisible, in which case we could just infer its presence by the barrier. Intriguing concept you have there.

“…today in regard to Public Relations…”

In regard to is a kind of … oh, never mind. I am getting really bored. There are just TOO many solecisms on your page. If you want my input, you’ll have to wait, this is just too dense---every sentence is RIDDLED with usage errors.

Kids, I’ll admit, I kind of approve (tacitly) of what you are doing. People using chatspeak and not knowing the difference between its and it’s or there and their (particularly egregious) in profiles is really, really sad. But, I'd suggest buying the Strunk and White style guide and reading it cover-to-cover if you want to run down this path. Then read it again, and again!

PS Tell whichever one of you it was that punched me that I am severely embarassed that I didn’t remember the difference between (the unbelievably obscure word) shoat (a young hog) and (the ridiculously pretentious word) stoat (a rather off-kilter way of saying ‘weasel’ or ‘polecat’...the fact that it actually represents a different species in some reckonings being about as important to the average person as the difference between and Innu and and Inuit). If he has not fixed the confusing punctuationin his profile, I may have to knock him on his ass next time I see him, however. Practice/preach … that whole thing … Cheers! Keep up the good fight.

EDIT: Once I remembered who he was (lack of memory is my middle name...er, phrase), and saw his profile as it currently stands, I was ... breathless, stunned, maybe even a little tiny bit aroused. All I can say is, mister Trot, where ever you are, I would take my hat off to you, were I wearing one!--Reen 05:29, 30 May 2007 (BST)

One tiny suggestion. I would suggest, that you differentiate between typos and misspellings. I think it is ludicrous to say that a profile which mistypes “firefighter” as “fire fighter” or “firefigter” is deserving of the same punishment as a profile which mistakes “they’re” for “their” or vice-versa… Just sayin’

Cheers! See you at Marven Mall (I'll put on my special profile just for you lads) (Mad Girl Kiki)--Reen 06:17, 28 May 2007 (BST)

Most of your advice is sentence structure stuffs, and that is almost always a matter of style. What sounds awkward, silted, or 'wrong' to you may sound perfectly fine to the writer. And 'all-new' as opposed to 'all new'? Huh? I like using commas at every opportunity, and you seem similarly hyphen-happy. Are you a "junior high-school English teacher" (or just plain high school)? Moving along, it's the Elements of Style by Strunk, White, and Kalmen, not the "Strunk and White style guide". "Embarassed" has two 'r's, although that could be the British spelling...and wow, did you really go through their page. Would you like to take a look at Ghetto Cow's page for me? I'd really appreciate it.--Lachryma^☭ 06:46, 28 May 2007 (BST)

Oh NOES! I missed a comma! How could this happen??? I do however differ on one point: as a professional (and semi-professional) proofreader for much of my adult life (not a Junior High School English teacher...wow, you really know how to cut a girl)---"sentence structure stuff..." as you refer to it, is frequently grammatical. While some of these things may not in fact be incorrect, it looks really bad to have a grammar-obsessed group with gaping holes in their grammar. And, yes, I know the name of the Strunk and White. Trust me, I have a copy of that and the AP Style guide at my elbow right now. My mistake was using the name that most of us in the industry refer to the book by, rather than taking the time to type the correct title (I can give you the ISBN and publishing info in you like as well! *grin*)--Reen 18:23, 28 May 2007 (BST)

Sorry about the junior high thing, I was wondering what your profession was, and you did drop a hint by saying that...Moving along, you have an excellent point about the grammar and sentence structure; I was merely noting that you can't be too hard on 'em for a lot of your examples. Finally, I believe you about the Elements of Style, you just put me in a...um...pedantic mood, so I was looking desperately for any mistakes! Oh, and I wasn't joking about GC's page. I put a decent amount of time writing that, and mistakes and typos piss me off.--Lachryma^☭ 05:54, 29 May 2007 (BST)

Actually, I've been proofreading, editing, and writing for a looong time. *smile* ...but I only do it part-time anymore (and largely for fun). If you think some of the comments I made here were rough, the comments I sometimes find myself making to writers are far worse. They (usually) know not to take it personally (the chap whom I told 'I wish I could have rejected this article twice' actually had a big laugh over it with a fellow editor!). At any rate, I'd be happy to look at GCs page over the next 2 days ... I have a little spare time and really enjoy that type of thing. Just make sure not to take anything personally. And feel free to take a swipe at any comments I make...suggestions are just exactly that, and wrangling over grammatical minutiae is great fun! Thanks for the very enjoyable discussion!--Reen 06:43, 29 May 2007 (BST)

Yes, whenever you have a chance would be cool. Oh, and I will respond to all of your suggestions! Anyway, nice to meet you!--Lachryma^☭ 07:17, 29 May 2007 (BST)

\:Oh, bravo, Reen, you have now supplanted Izumi as the most obsessive, anal-retentive poster on this page! --Ghidorah 12:24, 28 May 2007 (BST)

Thanks! I do my best--Reen 18:23, 28 May 2007 (BST)

All be it, she isn't actually wrong. --Inquisitor Darius 12:48, 28 May 2007 (BST)

Inquisitor Darius, I believe the word you're groping for is "albeit".

I beg to differ with your assertion that Reen "isn't actually wrong" (except regarding the typos). Lachryma made the excellent point that a number of things Reen identified as errors are merely style preference, whereas Reen herself did make grammatical mistakes. For example, the comma placement in the sentence "I would suggest, that you differentiate between typos and misspellings" would get points off in any English class.

I wonder why it is that those who are so intent on pointing out the positively heinous degree of hypocrisy among the Profile Police succeed only in demonstrating their unworthiness to do it. Why do people take all this so seriously? Has the phrase "It's only a game" lost its meaning? Surely there's something in the real world that would have profited from Reen's attention during the time it took her to research and compose her pedantic (and flawed) screed. --Ghidorah 13:19, 28 May 2007 (BST)

Oh no! Now I'm pedantic AND flawed! This is terrible! Actually, I just thought I would have a bit of fun (and I had a blast proofing the page and being pedantic, and apparantly flawed --- you pointed out one flaw, I'd love to see the myriad others), demonstrate that there are some errors (and yes, some of them are stylistic, but most of them are actual errors QED, and some of the stylistic points are pretty bad) ... seriously, if someone wants to be the pedants of Malton and has a sentence like "This way you'll be more likely to find a suitable student, and more people will witness you educating said student, thus raising our profile." I mean, come on! This is the Profile Police, guardians of grammar and orthography for Malton! That sentence sounds sa though it was composed by a 12-year old! If you are going to go on being the grammarians, you need to have nice, tight composition---otherwise, you sound like hypocrites. --Reen 18:23, 28 May 2007 (BST)

I disagree, no-one is perfect. If nothing else this serves as a beautiful example on why the P.P. are doomed to fail, no-one without repeat proofreading will ever write a perfect essay. Personally, I just see them as regular PK'ers with a rather weak excuse. --Inquisitor Darius 15:35, 28 May 2007 (BST)

From my perspective, the difference between the Profile Police and those who post on this page to defend their dubious command of the English language--and point out the shortcomings in the PP's--is that the PP actually appear to be having fun. They don't take themselves too seriously, as opposed to, say, Reen and Izumi, who take themselves very seriously indeed. And in sharp contrast to those who scream the loudest about them, the PP do take action to correct those of their ranks who transgress their own standards.

Personally, I'd much rather be corrected than go around with glaring errors in my profile, or pretty much anything else, real-life or online. And I'd like to point out one more time that this is a game. The PP are not actually visiting the transgressors' homes and maiming or killing them; at worst, the "students" suffer minor inconvenience in the game. Why all the dramatic gnashing of teeth? --Ghidorah 16:56, 28 May 2007 (BST)

As I cannot attend the field trip I will watch over Tompson to make sure their grammer does not go lax while you are gone. --Delt 18:13, 28 May 2007 (BST)

May I ask why this is such a big deal to you, Reen? From your post, it sounds like you merely received a punch or two in the face, so, unless I am mistaken on that point, you weren't even mildly inconvenienced. If there is so little trouble in your real-world life that you have the luxury of becoming so upset over something so inconsequential in an online game, I must say I envy you.

And no, I'm not emotionally invested enough in any of this to go through and point out every error you made, or each thing you identified as incorrect that is actually a valid style choice. The only reason I commented at all is because of the overweening arrogance in your original post. I couldn't resist needling such an earnest pedant (though if you will reread what I said, I called your screed [e.g., post] pedantic and flawed, not you). Besides, with your mastery of English and your proofreading skills you should be able to identify your errors yourself.

As for you just wanting to have some fun ... well, I couldn't detect any, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. However, in my nearly 15 years on the internet, I've found that's pretty much the standard response when someone is caught out and trying to save face.

I'm done. No doubt you will interpret my lack of further response as some sort of moral victory; by all means enjoy it. :-)

P.S. To set the record straight, I am not a member of the PP, and I have no intention of becoming one. I sympathize with their cause and enjoy their humor, but I do not PK. --Ghidorah 19:32, 28 May 2007 (BST)

O-kaaay … whatever!

I thought it would have been abundantly obvious from everything following my first words that this was intended in a spirit of teasing fun… “Taking the piss” or “giving a hard time to,” depending upon the region in which you reside!

As (I thought) I said at the end, I have a tacit admiration for the PP – they've got a clever idea here. See, we all play this game, they do this creative thing and have fun. Then, along comes Mad Girl Kiki, and she plays a prank on them – I laugh, we all (presumably) have a good time. That seems like what a game is.

BTW: After "...screed," you used e.g. which means "for example" ... I think you might have meant "i.e." which means "that is." I'm just sayin'...

Any-hooters, I had fun with my silly stunt – after my encounter with The Trot Man, my embarrassing lapse of vocabulary, and his subsequent knocking of Mad Girl Kiki on her ample butt – I guessed he might see the humour in the project. I thought it was rather in the spirit of the PP, actually! (I mean come on ... my thing about 'protest' forming an invisible barrier was funny ... certainly no one could have thought I was serious, right?)

I don’t know where the supposed spite and bile you seem to have detected in my proofing notes were. I thought the whole thing was hilarious, outrageous even...played broadly, you know, for laughs, yuks, giggles, that sort of thing.

I get to claim a moral victory? Woohoo! Go me! And it was easy! I don’t think I’ve ever won one of those before – most of mine are immoral or amoral victories! --Reen 06:19, 29 May 2007 (BST)

In order to continue enjoying the Profile Police Talk Page, I'd like to suggest that each month, some of the older stuff get moved to an archive. This page is going to become an unwieldy mess soon (as if it hasn't already). --8 Bucks 23:08, 28 May 2007 (BST)

PS: holy cow! The response to the PP only serves to convince me of their necessity.

May 29

I agree, I'll move the older posts to the_profile_police/archive. --Delt 00:51, 29 May 2007 (BST)

- I think we've created a monster. Wind 'em up and watch 'em go.

Delt, much appreciated if you could indeed manage some sort of coherent archiving system on this discussion page. Thanks mate. --The Trot Man 11:08, 29 May 2007 (BST)

- Thanks for your support gentlemen on the radio broacast calling for my innocent blood. I responded, but didn't save the broacast. To date, no one has messed with me - which makes me glad to know that free speech has not died with so many of our fallen Maltonia comrades.--Squid Boy 18:15, 29 May 2007 (BST)

-"I get to claim a moral victory? Woohoo! Go me! And it was easy! I don’t think I’ve ever won one of those before – most of mine are immoral or amoral victories!" Okay, that really was funny. Perhaps I did misjudge your intent in that post, though I honestly did not see any humor in it, having been witness to many similar but deadly serious dissertations lately. I was, however, very, very cranky that day and rather lacking in the humor department myself. My apologies. --Ghidorah 00:29, 30 May 2007 (BST)

Don't sweat it, so to speak! When I first heard of these chaps, I thought they would be the typical humourless pedants, but when I saw that picture on their wiki page, I knew that Mad Girl Kiki had a new comedic foil ... hrm ... okay, operating on lack of sleep, take two ... "...knew that a new comedic foil for Mad Girl was in town..." I don't know, something like that! When I chanced to meet Trot Man and butchered a word I should have known (my best friend has a large pet ferret I often call a 'stoat', but for some reason I read 'shoat' which made very little sense), I knew that there was fun to be had. Cheers to you, Ghidorah! If you are ever near Dartside, drop in for a pint!--Reen 05:35, 30 May 2007 (BST)

I'll keep that in mind. :-)

Moving on, the field trip yesterday has certainly made an impact. From Tompson Mall this morning:

And from Marven Mall this morning:

--Ghidorah 12:48, 30 May 2007 (BST)

Thanks! I'll contact Elvis immediately. --Inquisitor Darius 13:27, 30 May 2007 (BST)

May 30

Sgt Flesh monger has been gunned down today by me ---- Blood red Bread

I've taken time to reload my weapons. I'm on 12 kills since we declared war on them, reckoning I can bag me a few more by the end of the week. Remember - To catch em you lot'll have to actually leave lockettside - these guys like hit and fade. --Inquisitor Darius 18:02, 30 May 2007 (BST)

May 31

Mighty Axewound and The Trot man dead in 1 sweep (With In fact, Mighty Axewound being killed by - a mighty axewound). Now on 14 kills :-) . Any hunters wanting a treat head to the Heddington motel, Greentown. 36,76 for the Sard Killer. --Inquisitor Darius 09:01, 31 May 2007 (BST)

I know you guys are having a good time greifing the Profile Police, but this is THEIR group page. I suggest it's bad form to use it as a tool for greifing them. If I were a member I'd delete your posts and suggest you get your own page to do your posting on. But that's just me. --8 Bucks 09:52, 31 May 2007 (BST)

It's a discussion page, they are being discussed. As someone who loves the good hunt I think they are one of the best things to ever happen! --Inquisitor Darius 10:23, 31 May 2007 (BST)

Barf Chunk got Pk'd today by someone who called him a Pk'er and Profile Police sympathizer. I find it interesting how those who are against the profile police are so ready and willing to PK anyone who doesn't actively oppose the PP. Barf Chunk has never Pk'd another player. He's actually never even killed a survivor whilst he's been dead. But that's gonna change. It's gonna change in a big way. Because, ya see, getting Pk'd for nothing more than association is the kind of thing that changes a persons outlook. If you go to the Legions of Literacy page, you'll see that Barf Chunk has been helping survivors avoid the harsh lessons of the PP. I wonder how nice he'll be next time. --8 Bucks 11:07, 31 May 2007 (BST)

I personally do not endorse the Pk'ing of P.P. Sympathisers, or indeed anyone who doesn't PK. My mission statement is to root out and terminate those PK'ers that threaten Lockettside and it's surrounding suburbs. It's regrettable, but lets face it - that was bound to happen. This said, I will admit that I suspected that this would start happenng the second either P.P. members started spying or P.P. guys dropped their tags and tried to hide in crowds.

Look, the L.O.L. have declared war on the P.P. Several other groups have declared war on the P.P. Are you really so naive to believe people wouldn't start getting caught in the crossfire? This right here is a case of guilty by association, it's regrettable but it really was going to happen - it's what is always bound to happen when PK'ers target innocents and people start shooting back. This is simply an escalation in the current warfare in the region They start shooting sympathisers, then you'll start shooting people yourself, then i'll start shooting you, then you'll get your friends, i'll get my friends, everyone else'll get their friends - total war.

As an aside - surely Barf would take it with the good humour he endorses of the P.P. --Inquisitor Darius 11:34, 31 May 2007 (BST)

My point is this. Those who are against the PP and their associates, have to totally overstate the reasons why. It wasn't a clean enough kill to say "Barf Chunk supports literacy and counsels people to improve their profiles in order to avoid getting PK'd by the Profile Police." Since Those Dudes are a survivor group and are against PK'ing in general, I find it predictably hypocritical that you and your buddies haven't done your homework or figured out even why you've taken this absurd stand and who you should really be fighting with. Clean up your profiles and the killing will stop. Is that too hard to do? Evidently it must be. And btw, Those Dudes keep their blacklist up to date. Soon, those who PK them will find that they have no where to hide. Those Dudes are getting bigger every day, and your band of illiterate losers can't summon the mojo to build a group page. --8 Bucks 12:05, 31 May 2007 (BST)

Congratulations. You've beaten Izumi. At the moment I work more or less alone albeit with support from others at war with you. As the sole member of =][= when I find other likeminded people with the same stance, i'll consider a group page, until then, others who actually carried this out already have theirs. Read what I said above about escalation - and thankyou for proving my point. Whoever killed you (and by the way, who was that?) Wasn't with me - I was out killing the real PK'ers. My bottom line: If you really want me as an enemy, know what the P.P. know. I truly am relentless, if you PK me (of which you are insinuating), I too keep IFF flags and I *will* reap a heavy toll upon you and yours.

I am a(or indeed the) Lockettside Inquisitor. My self appointed duty is to root out the PK'er and terminate them. Do not become my problem.

Thus far, as I said above - this whole war is following a preset pattern. Have the good sense and humour and just shrug it off. --Inquisitor Darius 12:18, 31 May 2007 (BST)

Inquisitor Darius, let me make sure I'm understanding you correctly ... you are advising Barf Chunk to shrug off being PKed, while you rabidly pursue and PK a PKer group which has never actually PKed you? I'd say you've now beaten Izumi the PKing Peace Activist in the specious logic department. --Ghidorah 12:48, 31 May 2007 (BST)

A fine question. Let me explain. A) Actually they have PK'ed me. B) My mission statement insists that I quite dilligently attack PK'ers when I see them - the P.P. arn't the only ones, but they are there. C) Barf and those dudes have 3 choices. Shrug it off - ok you lose a bit of face but it's safe. PK the PK'er - Fair enough or follow a course to all out war. Does anyone really want the latter?

I've yet to kill someone who didn't really really deserve it. (all PK'ers or text rapists) and for what it's worth I really do sympathise with all parties involved, but a PK'er is a PK'er. --Inquisitor Darius 13:01, 31 May 2007 (BST)

- Amusing. Darius, what's that pretentious wanky logo about? =][=? The Illiterate Formally Known as Darius. --The trot man Also known as >>££$$@--<< 13:04, 31 May 2007 (BST)

Trot, you're a PK'er. If i've pissed you off by PK'ing you, stop PKing. The =][= is a pretentious logo for pretentions sake, a stylised I for Inquisitor. I tell you what, I'm going to offer you a comprimise - seeing as I do understand and respect your reasons for doing what you do. If you don't become my problem - that is you don't be PK'ing within the area of lockettside or any of it's adjacent suburbs. Then there will be no need for me to become your problem. I don't seriously expect you to take this offer - as you will percieve it as losing face. - But the offer is there regardless. --Inquisitor Darius 13:07, 31 May 2007 (BST)

I'll just say this. Darius, you appear to be one guy (lacking the stones to post his profile link) that wants us all to shake in our collective boots that you might PK us. First of all, I doubt you have more than 5 or 6 pals who are actively supporting this silly quest of yours. Secondly, you fail to understand that by inviting the wrath of a larger group, you and you pals are going to get more than you wanted. Third, have you noticed that killing a character doesn't really make a difference? Barf Chunk will have played dead for a day or two before someone comes along and slips him a syringe. He'll come back to your side of town and de-vivify some of your silly buddies before he sets out to hunt the Todders (which is where he was going before someone came by and rudely shot him).

I'm not shaking in my boots. But I will enjoy the events with a sense of humor. I fully expect to laugh hysterically when I shoot that bumb bitch that PK'd me. --8 Bucks 13:55, 31 May 2007 (BST)

Oh, and if you think you can police 9 suburbs, you're on crack, man! Seriously! What are you smoking?

8-Ball - the P.P. know who I am, i nfact they just PK'ed me. Tommorrow I will be back re-arming and hunting again. We ALL get on our feet within 24 hours of being killed able to kill again, that's part of the game. 8-Ball. I am working alone and fighting the P.P. who have what? 6/7 people? I get what it's like fighting against a bigger group - it's fun!

I do not need to police 9 suburbs, I *know* when you guys are there. I need only go where I am needed. I am NOT with the guys that PK'ed you - and you need to get that into your head. All you wll accomplish killing those other than who directly PK'ed you is you will get more people wanting to PK you. They will PK your friends. Your friends will PK them. It will escalate.

It'll be absolute chaos with both sides PK'ing the shit out of each other, rezzing and doing it again. If you want that, then go to tommy and PK some random people after killing the person who killed you. If not, don't.

I've been told that I odn't understand the P.P.s intent. Fair enough, I find the humour a little too dry for my tastes. But try to understand my intent. I am anti PK'er not anti P.P. P.P. Sypathisers were going to get killed off by association because that is what people are like, it's sad but true. Now, you can either be the bigger man and accept someone got overboard, kill em off and get back to normal - maybe radio that you guys are not actually hte P.P and just sympathise with them. Or you can go all out.

My in game name is DariusAPB. I didn't think it hard to work out. I am not responsible for PK'ing you nor would I wish it given my preference for surgical warfare on my own targets. If you want to start something, it's your call. I won't PK you and yours first. --Inquisitor Darius 14:10, 31 May 2007 (BST)

He will have help, he might not have the numbers but he will always get a revive as long as he hunts your pathetic group of social retards. You have the attention of Lockettside Ruddlebank and South Blythville it is you who is in the small group as you have 3 burbs screaming for your blood and darius has come to answer the call as I have you have few suporters but darius and I have many. I will give the same offer darius gave you and trust me when i say my alts are close by waiting to meet you in the surrounding burbs. oh and Romero Trot nice attempt at geting my brother Blk Gryphon shame he got you first or not -------- Blood red Bread

Let me be completely clear: Those Dudes support literacy in Malton. We share this goal with the Profile Police. We do not support PK'ing, nor do we PK. It is up to our individual members whether or not they take a stance against the Profile Police's actions should they witness them. I will not. I will, with ferocious tenacity and infinite enmity, punish those who PK members of my organization possessing articulate profiles. I'm not even sure one death for one death will be enough to satisfy my righteous indignation at this violation of our right to express our opinions - I may assassinate any person who infringes on our free speech at every opportunity. Rika Nonaka has become a PK'er herself, plain and simple. If you abhor PK'ing, and care to take revenge, you must provide evidence of your target's PK'ing activity, and be prepared to defend your actions. There is no such defense for the killing of Barf Chunk. Give me liberty or give me death - but get ready if you choose to pronounce the latter. --Squid Boy 14:32, 31 May 2007 (BST)

Your support is Most welcome Blood-red

Squid Boy - I absolutely agree, freedom of expression is something that must be fought for - and I agree on just about all counts. If you need evidence of PK'ing action, the profile police provide their own. My killings have all been justified. I support literacy, though I support it by nonviolent and non-aggressive means. --Inquisitor Darius 14:41, 31 May 2007 (BST)

I won't continue to muck up the PP Talk Page, except to say that 'Barf Chunks' revenge was sweet and is complete at this time. Evidence is posted on the Those Dudes Talk Page. As far as I'm concerned, the matter is closed. If Rika wishes to return to the top of the food chain AND stay there, she's welcome to do so providing she doesn't continue to shoot my characters. --8 Bucks 15:08, 31 May 2007 (BST)

Darius, you're a Pker yourself, only glorified. On a lighter note, I announce I will be forming the Malton Five-O. The Malton Five-O (or simply Five-O) is a group dedicated to policing the streets of Malton in a time when anarchy is abroad. Our unit will participate in raids on warehouses, clubs, and any other place where we believe *cough cough* a public disturbance is underway. No need to thank us for being an opportunity to collect more heads Darius, it's all part of the job. --Delt 18:31, 31 May 2007 (BST)

Yup, never denied it. I'm a murdering bastard high on the thrill of the hunt- and the glorified is all the difference I need :-) Good luck on your new group - Style is everything and it seems you've got that covered. --Inquisitor Darius 18:38, 31 May 2007 (BST)

Thanks, hope to meet you on the field of battle. I also agree with you on your previous point, it was inevitable than an innocent would get caught in the crossfire. The fact that the person is only a sympathizer is what gets me angry. --Delt 20:03, 31 May 2007 (BST)

June 07

June 1

-Ah, my mistake, Inquisitor Darius. I didn't realize you were the Darius the PP took out on their way to Marven. --Ghidorah 00:07, 1 June 2007 (BST)

-Well, well, well ... look whose profile gives her real name as Rika Nonaka, and it ain't the character who killed Barf Chunk. I'm shocked. No, really. --Ghidorah 00:34, 1 June 2007 (BST)

Same Darius, Myself and these PP guys PK each other all the time, i'd have it no other way - and I concur - that IS interesting...

Lastly - To Delt, Yeah, no-one likes it when the innocents get into the line of fire, but it's always the sympathisers / affiliates who get it first. As we both agree, Inevitable.

Call me what you want guys, PK'er, murderous bastard, complete git... I'm organised enough to only target people who've PK'ed first. No sport in it otherwise. --Inquisitor tipsy on Guiness 00:57, 1 June 2007 (BST)

I have to admit, her myspace song is rather catchy... *hm hm hm hm hmhmhm hm* --Delt 01:43, 1 June 2007 (BST)

Rika is my alt. It's common knowledge, I thought you would have known by now. But I guess I can't really expect much from you... Pure character differences as well. Rika is my slightly darker side. The shoot-em-up one. She kills things, and has an attitude problem. Its part of her character. Izumi is my nicer side, she doesn't kill unless she has to. I have several other alts across Malton as well, you can figure them out yourself. Izumi Orimoto 02:28, 1 June 2007 (BST)

-You're not nearly as well-known as you seem to think, Izumi. My alt in NE Ruddlebank has been there for months, and I never heard of you until you posted here. Frankly, I yearn for those halcyon Izumiless days. There was so much less condescension and sanctimony in my simple, happy life then. --Ghidorah 02:35, 1 June 2007 (BST)

Um...I never said I was. Izumi Orimoto 03:31, 1 June 2007 (BST)

I beg to differ, Izumi. Rika is my alt. It's common knowledge, I thought you would have known by now. But I guess I can't really expect much from you... The clear and supercilious implication in that statement is that I am some sort of mental defective who should have instantly realized that Rika Nanako is you because even the identity of your alt in a neighboring suburb is common knowledge. "Common knowledge" is by definition something that is well-known. And you do keep telling us that veritable legions of your supporters will rally behind you should you declare jihad, and then we'll all be sorry. --Ghidorah 12:51, 1 June 2007 (BST)

Nice to see Izumi doesn't have a problem zerging. --8 Bucks 18:12, 2 June 2007 (BST)

Crap, I have a dilemma. I can either go clothes shopping (and while at it, try and pick up that fencing foil). or continue to PK you guys... BAH! --The Dashing Inquisitor Darius 11:13, 1 June 2007 (BST)

Go on, Darius--you'd look ever so snazzy PKing in a natty pink suit! ;-) --Ghidorah 12:53, 1 June 2007 (BST)

Sold.--Pimplord Darius 12:57, 1 June 2007 (BST)

Ok well i was on my way and just came across Jaw! when a target jumps into your lap you don't NOT shoot it soo... NOW on my way to get pimpsuit. --Inquisitor Darius 13:02, 1 June 2007 (BST)

I've already got my pimpsuit, it makes me all the more hunky. --Delt 15:29, 1 June 2007 (BST)

You know, i've worked something out today. Here is why I am different from you guys(and by that I mean the P.P. and probably Barf chunk who was bitchy for a whole day after being PK'ed :-) ), better in fact. It's not because I PK for any loftier purpose than you - we all have our PK'ing ground rules. It's not that I PK better, that's just because i'm a better hunter.

It's because I take being killed in my stride, without having to resort to insults, without getting pissy and when I do piss someone off -without hiding behind the whole it's a game rhetoric. In insulting me, you've just told me that i've pissed you off - and since all I really do is PK you (and occasionally - in the case of mighty axewound, use an Axe to finish) Ican assume that it's for no reason other than the fact that you really don't like being PK'ed.

Tommorrow, i'll get back up again, and probably kill another P.P. member, I might get PK'ed back I might not. But I won't waste time on crappy insults.

This is what makes you the worst kind of PK'ers - you simply cannot take what you dish. For that you truly do have my pity. --Inquisitor Darius 20:20, 1 June 2007 (BST)

Personally, I get wet just thinking about a quick PK from Darius, but then I spend my time in the bar shooting bourbon and dreaming of illiteracy. Always nice to justify that with a shotgun to the head, You rock Darius, see you next week when I sober up! (slightly only! promise, I am a good shot!) Mighty Axewound

June 4th

After getting PK'd by Rika and a couple of Izumi's buddies (aka zerging alts) Barf Chunk has decided that a proper demonstration of righteous indignation is in order. The time, method, and location are yet TBD, but I'd like to invite the Profile Police to participate in the upcoming Carnival of Chaos. Barf Chunk will pick up a mobile phone and communicate the details to the LOL in the next day or so. Looking forward to scorching some earth. Sincerely, --8 Bucks 20:39, 4 June 2007 (BST)

Actually, I keep all of my alts separate from each other, and Rika is the only one to have any contact with the Profile Police at all. In fact, I would be more than happy to provide you with a complete list of all of my alts. Dumbasses. Izumi Orimoto 09:12, 5 June 2007 (BST)

June 7th

The time spent in Marven was obviously a success and very beneficial to the residents. However, JAW has been a little homesick for Tompson Mall and since coming back has decided to hang around more to make the presence of The PP felt and to reassure those that can spell that we are there to take care of their coveted literacy. If you need me for any literary guidance or just to wish me well doing the work of the PP, you know where to find me. I'll either be sleeping or shopping, I tell you, it's great to be back! Sgt JAW 13:55, 7 June 2007 (BST)

After being PK'd multiple times for his loose association with the Profile Police, Barf Chunk has decided to formally change his affiliation to full time Profile Police member.

Being in possession of righteous indignation, and a fair number of shotgun shells, Barf Chunk went into St. Alexanders Hospital in Lockettside and applied the rules of literacy. Since Barf Chunk was PK'd by Izumi's zergling for his association with the PP. I felt it only fair to PK some of Izumi's pals for their association as well. It's called consistency, Izumi.

Without further adieu, here's the beginning of the Carnival of Chaos.

--8 Bucks 15:40, 7 June 2007 (BST)

You guys got balls is all i can say------ Blood red bread

- Glad to hear Barf has finally become an 'official' member of the PP! And may I commend you on your first, very informative lecture, in Izumi's Hospital For The Grammatically Challenged. I've personally taught that same lesson to Headcrabed, to no avail. And although it's not strictly against PP protocol, there is no room in Malton for men wearing ponytails. --The Trot Man 23:46, 7 June 2007 (BST)

June 8th

You realize of course you're all dead. Izumi Orimoto 05:09, 8 June 2007 (BST)

Congratulations Barf Chunk, a superb literary initiation in the righteous ranks of The Profile Police. I think Izumi's hospital has been taught a valuable lesson. Well met. Sgt JAW 12:37, 8 June 2007 (BST)

That's the spirit Chunk. Next time I see you around, maybe on the next Profile Police outing, I'll buy you a beer! Death to all ponytails! Mighty Axewound 12:43, 8 June 2007 (BST)

My favorite thing about this is that Izumi Orimoto et al CREATED Barf Chunk the Profile Policeman with their stupidity. Here was a peace-loving survivor merely interested in grammar and syntax, and through their heinous, violent, anti-social and might I add grossly hypocritical behavior, they invented an instrument of vengeance. Nice going, tools!--Squid Boy 14:36, 8 June 2007 (BST)

The irony is not lost on me, but then I expected all this to happen from round one. Pay attention class, since this conflict has started people - often innocents - often killed by the other side quickly pick a side and start fighting. It is a simple process of escalation which we'll steadily see as the fighting continues. --Inquisitor Darius 18:00, 8 June 2007 (BST)

Darius, is it possible you could change your name to Captain Obvious? I'm just asking. --8 Bucks 21:15, 8 June 2007 (BST)

You say that, but if it were that obvious, would it have happened? IF it were so obvious, why were so you so surprised and upset the first time Rika killed you? I'll do you a deal, I'll change my name to Captain Obvious if you change yours to "pawn". --Inquisitor Darius 21:25, 8 June 2007 (BST)

I really think some of the 'theater' here is lost on you Darius.--Squid Boy 21:33, 8 June 2007 (BST)

I may be a pawn, but I'm a willing pawn. Ya see, I expected that any support for the PP would result in guilt by association. While Izumi claims to be some weirdo peace-lover, she's really just another nitwit who doesn't understand some of the basics of the game. She could learn a thing or two about river tactics. Anyway, the old line about "They kill one of mine, I kill two of theirs!" is a beautiful recipe for UD carnage that I simply must engage in. Besides, Malton would be downright boring these days if it weren't for the PK'ing and the goofballs (including myself) who rant about it, retaliate for it, and escalate it without bound. So game on, Profile Police! Until the zombies pose a reasonable threat again I can't see a better thing to do with my AP. --8 Bucks 21:38, 8 June 2007 (BST)

I'll most certaintly drink to that. --Inquisitor Darius 22:00, 8 June 2007 (BST)

I am a peace lover. Leave Lockettside alone and I'll never bother you again. In fact, give up your PKing and I'd even happily befriend you. But I'm afraid I can't allow you to go on killing people under my protection. :(

-Izumi Orimoto 04:35, 9 June 2007 (BST)

I think there's something to be said in the fact that I tried to be a peace lover in a game full of shotguns and pistols once. That game was Halo 2. I could be wrong, but I think the other team didn't like the idea of me sitting quietly in their base waving at them with my melee button. In the after game chat they laughed at me, and my teammates weren't all that happy. Could it be that games without conflict are boring? Or maybe it's just that games about conflict without any conflict should have had conflict? Hm. Well, regardless I'm still loving every minute of this drama. I haven't missed a word of the fun, I've just been quiet. I suddenly felt some sort of desire to speak up. Also, congratulations to the PP in making a new friend. I hope all that works out for you. --StapleDog 06:31, 10 June 2007 (BST)

I can say one thing about you guys- You're really good hiders! =]

Izumi Orimoto 11:41, 10 June 2007 (BST)

June 10

I see Rika Nonaka has come to Ruddlebank, thus proving Barf Chunk's accusations of zerging absolutely true despite her outraged protestations of innocence. She is currently located in the Baillie Hotel, 2W of the SW corner of Tompson Mall. --Ghidorah 13:53, 10 June 2007 (BST)

June 11

If only I were in the vicinity, I'd execute a raid on the place and extract some justice. Alas, I'm just too far afield at the moment. --8 Bucks 19:03, 11 June 2007 (BST)

I'm not too far afield to exact a little nugget of justice from BloodRedBread.

So, Barf Chunk used his last AP giving Blood red Bread an extreme makeover - Malton Edition. --8 Bucks 20:00, 11 June 2007 (BST)

Well then it would seem that Ive made a new friend it did make me smile, I will have my revenge in time I will get you back for this and will do it with a smile and hope you have a smile on your face too ----- Blood red Bread

June 13

Barf Chunk is still educating in Lockettside as his Carnival of Chaos is now in full swing.--8 Bucks 15:33, 13 June 2007 (BST)

Funny, I thought it was always spelled lieu. --Inquisitor Darius 16:41, 13 June 2007 (BST)

Good thing I didn't put that in my Profile! But alas, consistency is one of my goals, so I'll make myself available for flogging and general teasing for my typographical errors at some point in the near future. --8 Bucks 16:57, 13 June 2007 (BST)

You seem like a renegade officer to me Mr. Chunk - are you ever going to be folded into the more organized efforts of the Profile Police? Not that I don't think Izumi the slandering PK'er had it coming...--Squid Boy 18:30, 13 June 2007 (BST)

To be honest with you Mr. Squidward, Barf Chunk hasn't exactly found his comfort zone with the rest of the Profile Police. Certainly, educating the masses is a shared goal, and ruthless instruction is the agreed upon method, but Barf Chunk hasn't participated in any PP sanctioned group lessons. He also has demonstrated a penchant for revenge. Which, while pleasant and enjoyable may be a bit beyond the charter of the PP. --8 Bucks 19:16, 13 June 2007 (BST)

You know, I actually was going to apologize to him until now. My initial killing of him was based on mainly rumors that he PK'ed, and his affiliation with the Profile Police, which I now realize was a wrong decision on my part. But now, he no longer has my sympathy. Also, Trot Man, enjoy your nap. Izumi Orimoto 22:10, 13 June 2007 (BST)

It's never too late to apologize for being a zerging cheater, Izumi. I broadcast demands for apologies for days with no response from you. I hope you enjoyed your nap. --8 Bucks 22:14, 13 June 2007 (BST)

June 14

Are you stupid? For me to be a zerging cheater I would have to be attacking you with two characters in the same suburb at the same time. Deploying an alt to track and kill while the main char stays behind in a separate suburb is NOT zerging. Its in the rules. Read them, for heaven's sake! Izumi Orimoto 02:08, 14 June 2007 (BST)

For someone who claimes to have as her sole goal in life universal peace between zombies and humans (har!), you sure are hostile Izumi!--Squid Boy 13:27, 14 June 2007 (BST)

Such play is known as alt abuse. None of your characters should be working towards the same specific goal (such as fighting the same enemy). The official FAQ is clear on the issue, multiple accounts are allowed as long as they lead completely separate existences within the game -- boxy ^{T L ZS Nuts2U DA} 13:31, 14 June 2007 (BST)

Have any of you ever been PK'ed by Izumi using Izumi rather than Rika? If the answer is no, it's not alt abuse. --Inquisitor Darius 16:46, 14 June 2007 (BST)

HA! Darius and Izumi get the smackdown from the Moderator! (forgot to sign this earlier - --Squid Boy 23:05, 14 June 2007 (BST))

I'm sure they won't let the facts get in the way of their fun. --8 Bucks 20:27, 14 June 2007 (BST)

If it is against the rules, then there is no alternative. I will withdraw Rika from the area. Izumi Orimoto 21:32, 14 June 2007 (BST)

Did I? I don't see any comment there pertaining to me, but don't let the truth get in the way of your fun, please. --Inquisitor Darius 11:15, 15 June 2007 (BST)

June 15

So much for Izumi's noble pronouncement that she will remove Rika from the area and no longer zerg. This occurred in the NW corner of Tompson Mall, a mere 1 south of Izumi's headquarters. Her supposedly unaffiliated and retreating alt is acting as some sort of enforcer for her Valkyries, which looks an awful lot like zerging to me.

And Darius, you had it backwards. Izumi killing her enemies just makes her a PKer. Using Rika to pursue Izumi's enemies--and Rika having anything whatsoever to do with the Valkyries--is what makes her a zerger. --Ghidorah 11:49, 15 June 2007 (BST)

That's a fair enough point, though it can be argued that if Izumi is just being sociable and not attacking anything, Rika is sort of ok being the strongarm. I'll grant that this is very debatable. --Inquisitor Darius 12:50, 15 June 2007 (BST)

Darius, I've been impressed with your comments for the most part, but this is not debatable - Rika was IN the hospital that Izumi 'runs' - they're not living separate lives by any stretch of anyone's imagination. Izumi is a cheater, and her every comment above is even further null and void as far as I am concerned. --Squid Boy 14:57, 15 June 2007 (BST)

Yeah that's fair enough if they both have the same HQ too.--Inquisitor Darius 16:49, 15 June 2007 (BST)

Ahem...as far as I'm concerned that is not zerging as she was merely stating a fact that they are a human-zed coalition and coupled with the fact that Izumi was in Spicer Hills that day investigating a lead that you PP were going to take our hospital over and Rika was in Thompson that day doesn't mean she was zerging.Get your facts together before you shoot blatant lies out your ass.--Chill