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Welcome once again, ladies and gentlemen, to the annual Malton Murder Awards ! The awards this year are brought to you by the city's elected mayor, Misanthropy, and will feature an all-new, star-studded panel of judges. As always, the Malties are set to be a star-studded event, celebrating the very best in sheer carnage, murder, and slaughter in the fine city of Malton. Without further ado, let's get down to business, and explain this year's changes.
First up, in order to increase the tension involved, the ballot will no longer be a simple public vote - now, a two-stage system will put in place. The first stage will follow the same format as last year, with anyone and everyone entitled to cast their votes in a public ballot on the talk page, starting from 00:00 GMT, Monday August 16th. After two weeks of balloting comes the new stage - the top three choices polled from the public vote will be our final nominations, and a panel of judges, introduced below, will cast the final decision amongst these nominees in private. The final results will be announced over Malton's emergency broadcast system on September 6th, before being posted here. This way will ensure an interesting race all the way to the finish, with no more results being telegraphed weeks in advance.
Of course, all this talk of a panel of judges would mean nothing without actually selecting a panel, so with no further ado, allow me to introduce our esteemed panel:
- Amber Waves of Pain: Winner of last year's "Best Bounty Hunter" award, and long considered one of the finest zerg hunters in business, Amber is our representative from Red Rum and from the bounty-hunting and zerg-hunting communities.
- Globule13: Papa of The Ridleybank Resistance Front, Malton's biggest zombie horde, Globule13 is well versed in the killing of those poor, defenceless, delicious harmanz, and is our representative from the undead walk of life.
- Lois Millard: Chief overseer of the Rogues Gallery, and committed bounty-hunter, Lois provides an objective look at the industry from the outside, her stance offering a perfect bird's-eye-view of Malton's murdering madmen.
- Misanthropy: Organiser of the event, and winner of last year's "Best Newcomer" award, Misanthropy is a committed killer and death cult leader, here representing the death cultist side of play, and resigned to mostly sorting out possible tie breaks.
- The Reverend Cyanide: One of the elder Philosophes of the highly-esteemed Philosophe Knights, the Reverend Cyanide, or OV, is our most high-brow representative, and it is hoped that his Knightly temperament affords the panel a thorough, scholastic approach.
And with that out of the way, it's on to business! Remember, polling for these awards takes place on the talk page. Any further instructions can be found there. In addition, there are these nifty templates that can be used by the winners and the short-list of nominees:
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MMX Malton Murder Award Winner
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| The contributions of this user or group to the PKing industry earned them an award at the Malton Murder Awards MMX.
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MMX Malton Murder Award Nominee
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| The contributions of this user or group to the PKing industry earned them a nomination at the Malton Murder Awards MMX.
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The following awards are intended to honour the bloodthirsty, the murderous, and the downright insane - the PKer community. The awards are the bread and butter of the Malties, harking back many moons ago to their slapdash inception.
Best Group
The winner of this award will join some hallowed company, safe in the knowledge that their combined slaughtering has earned them notoriety amongst the herd they forever seek to thin.
Nominees
- Columbine Kids
- Heathers
- Philosophe Knights
Best Individual
This individual has earned his or her recognition through bloodshed and brutality, their every shot and stab accumulating on the path to glory.
Nominees
- Cutey Snugglekins
- DJ Talent
- Psychotic Pantomime
Best Moment
Be it an event of mass murder, a memorable attack or a fantastic one-liner, this award is to commemorate those moments that make the game more enjoyable - and brutal.
Nominees
- Axe Hack's Malton Manhunt 3
- Anime Sucks attempts to join RHR
- Heathers versus Dr. Schwan's R&D
Life and death matter little to these types, who claw and stab the living from either side of the mortal coil. Their relentless aggression is commemorated with the following awards.
Best Group
This group are renowned for their unyielding hatred for the living, their unending assault on the structures of mortal man. We'd award them in person but they'd probably ransack the ceremony.
Best Individual
The recipient of this award has made their disdain for the sanctity of life known loud and clear, through words, deeds, and inspiration to others, and is being recognised as such.
Best Moment
This award is intended to showcase an example of death culting's influence and potential, be it a protracted campaign or a single paroxysm of anti-life rage.
Zamhah Ahargz
Bahz Gang
!z za bahz gang! Haz b!g barhah. Bargz za manbra!nz.
Bazz Zambah
Z!z zambah haz b!g grarrah. Ma!ghz za barhah an bargz za harmanz.
Bahz Mamanz
Za mamanz zaz ar gangz ramambah bahz.
The following awards are not constrained by allegiance, play style, or anything else. They simply will be awarded to those who merit them the most.
Best Newcomer
This award will go to the player who has made the biggest impact since starting the game, provided they joined within the past 12 months.
Best New Group
This award honours a group founded within the past 12 months that has made the biggest splash, and done the most damage, in that time.
Most Inept
The booby prize of the Malton Murder Awards, the coveted Golden Helmet & Crayons will go to the player or group who has tried and tried, and just fallen short.
Most Improved
Perhaps a previously inept player who has since learnt the trade, or perhaps a new player who has grasped the ropes with astonishing speed, the Most Improved award does exactly what it says on the tin.
Lifetime Achievement
The crowning moment of the awards, the Lifetime Achievement gong will be handed to a figure who has had a long and storied career in killing, and whose star is still, after all this time, on the rise.
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