The Kilt Store
| The Kilt Store | |
| |
| Abbreviation: | TKS |
| Group Numbers: | See staff list |
| Leadership: | Kilt Store Owner(in our hearts) |
| Goals: | Kilt Them All! |
| Recruitment Policy: | All Kilted Heroes Welcome |
| Contact: | Nichols Information Center |
STATUS:The Kilt Store is closed for remodeling.
Welcome to the Kilt Store! We proudly provide the finest tartan kilts available anywhere, much less in a sequestered siege city, and have been serving the survivors of Malton since May 31st, 2007. We carry a wide variety of tartan patterns and our prices will make you wonder how we stay in business. We are conveniently located in the Southwest corner of Nichols Mall, at the Eastern edge of Stanbury Village. Parking is free.
Just take a look at our Kilt Shop Inventory
KILTS FOR EVERY OCCASION
Our fine, hand crafted tartan kilts will serve you well on all occasions: tactical, practical and formal, as illustrated by some fine upstanding survivors observed around Malton and captured on camera below.
Modeling our fine kilts
In action around Malton
Kilts aren't just for men! Check out some of these fine women's kilts. We also offer matching shoes in a variety of styles.
PROFESSIONAL ASSISTANCE
We have a wide variety of tartan patterns to choose from and our helpful staff will assist you in selecting the best pattern for your particular heritage. Our knowledgeable staff are ready to assist you with custom fitting and discrete advice on proper undergarments to wear with a kilt. Our expert staff firmly believe that a kilt is more than just an article of clothing; it is a state of being, as evidenced by The Redemption of the Kilt.
STORE POLICY
We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone. Unfortunately, we have found that zombies simply do not have the proper respect for the history and dignity of a fine kilt. As a result, our store policy is that WE DO NOT SERVE ZOMBIES. We proudly serve only the finest Malton survivors as our elite clientèle and observe that although Nichols Mall has, on occasion, fallen to zombie hordes never once has a zombie obtained a kilt from our store, thanks to our modern and innovative security system . Therefore, rest assured that any zombie you may happen to see wearing a kilt obtained that kilt as a survivor before befalling some unfortunate mishap. Below we present a shot from the Kilt Store security camera of zombies (unsuccessfully) attempting to enter The Kilt Store during one of the previous (temporary) zombie occupations of the Mall.
SERVICE AFTER THE SALE
At the Kilt Store we believe strongly in the importance of repeat business. As a result, we emphasize service after the sale to ensure your satisfaction. With each purchase, loyal patrons of the Kilt Store are eligible for our Premium Customer Package, including our exclusive Buyer Protection Plan. Once enrolled, our friendly and helpful staff will keep an eye out for you on the streets and in the buildings of Malton and will strive to provide you with revivification, first-aid, and other assistance you may need in your daily activities to ensure your continued patronage. If you would like to request enrollment please follow this link to our Buyer Protection Plan Enrollment page. We stand behind the quality of our fine products and offer our exclusive iron-clad return guarantee. If you kilt is blood-splattered, torn, or shredded by zombie claws just return to the Kilt Store and with your validated receipt you can exchange it for a new one at no cost. Just take a look at these testimonials from satisfied customers and you'll understand our commitment to quality and service.
EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES
Do you have a commitment to excellent customer service, with regular customers coming back time and time again to both hire and buy. While our store often temporarily closes during zombie hordes incursions, our staff prepare for reopening sales by gathering ammunition, injecting fallen comrades and the never ending task of repairing barricades. Our tartans are sourced from the best zombie sweatshops and are of the upmost quality and fashion. Classic and timeless style mixed with the renowned quality of Scottish natural fibres.
"Fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live… at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin’ to trade all the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… our Kilt Store1"
Kilt Store Owner - Battle of Nicholls Feb 16th 2008
We currently have openings for staff members who are dedicated to the principles of customer service that define The Kilt Store. If you are such a customer-oriented and conscientious aficionado of fine kilts, and agree that you will avoid killing fellow survivors (for they ARE our customers) then you are invited to apply in-person to join the staff of The Kilt Store. Please follow this link to the Nichols Mall Information Center to submit your application to join the elite staff of The Kilt Store.
