User:Kirsty cotton/sandbar

The Best Murder Awards Since 2011

I will be holding my own murder awards sometime during the February or March time period. I'll be holding it right here, on my subpage, because fuck you and your stupid ideas. I will do all the judging myself, because again fuck you and your stupid ideas. I am accepting suggestions for awards and nominees for said awards. Since it will be murder awards, I really need quite a few survivor related categories because. But, if you don't want to contribute that's fine, as I don't really plan on listening to you anyways.

There are two ways to suggest awards or nominees: 1. add it to this page at the bottom, not the talk page 2. write your ideas on a sheet of paper and throw it in the trash

Examples of a bad award:

• Best PKer
• Most Improved PKer

Examples of a good award:

• Best PKer group with the word philosophy in the title
• Best Smile

UPDATE: Last chance on categories. Now accepting nominations, just throw them under the award or some shit. If you do that, either don't sign or comment on the bottom if your ego won't let you go without mentioning your own name.

UPDATE 2:Categories are finished. Nominations will run until they stop. Then people will get awards.
UPDATE 3:Over. Now just to add the templates here and then be too lazy to hand them out.

Current Award Categories:

Award King and Queen

• Spiderzed and Sally Summers corrected
• Kev and his whore the RNG

	A Murder(?) Award
	Spiderzed and Sally Summers is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Award King and Queen

Let's pretend this doesn't have disturbing implications.

Best Survivor Group

• The Dead 9.7.23
• www.OccupyTheArmz.com

	A Murder(?) Award
	www.OccupyTheArmz.com is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Best Survivor Group

Just the type of survivors I like, dead.

Most Creative Nondescript Profile

• Nameless ID #1

	A Murder(?) Award
	Nameless ID #1 is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Most Creative Nondescript Profile

Only nominee.

Survivor Group Most Likely to Actually Be a Hive of Android Bees

• Autobots

	A Murder(?) Award
	Autobots is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Survivor Group Most Likely to Actually Be a Hive of Android Bees

Only nominee.

Most Friendly PKer Group

• Cobra
• The Abandoned

	A Murder(?) Award
	Cobra is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Most Friendly PKer Group

You are doing something right, but at the same time it seems wrong too.

Help, I'm Trapped in a Bear Costume

• SA
• Poop Nuggets
• The Bear Patrol
• Bear Force One

	A Murder(?) Award
	SA is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Help, I'm Trapped in a Bear Costume

No idea why, but it feels right.

Best Smile

• Yog

	A Murder(?) Award
	YOG is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Best Smile

Only nominee.

Best PKer Group to use a Palindrome and Murder in Their Name

• Philosophe Knights
• JRC
• SEPM a surprise winner since I just added them

	A Murder(?) Award
	SEPM is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Best PKer Group to use a Palindrome and Murder in Their Name

Ed's pretty awesome, but yeah the reasoning should be obvious on this one.

'They see me trenchin', they hatin', patrolling, they tryin' to catch me playin' dirty' Award for Services to Shooting Zombies on the Street despite being Level 43 and Having 30,000 XP Banked.

• 50% of all survivors
• Eagle of Fire
• 80% of all survivors
• The Fortress and their 'assassins'

	A Murder(?) Award
	Eagle of Fire is awarded a Murder(?) Award for 'They see me trenchin', they hatin', patrolling, they tryin' to catch me playin' dirty' Award for Services to Shooting Zombies on the Street despite being Level 43 and Having 30,000 XP Banked.

Keep up the good work.

Best Group that is actually an Unwitting Parody of Itself.

• 101st Airborne Unit
• TZH, et al

	A Murder(?) Award
	101st Airborne Unit is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Best Group that is actually an Unwitting Parody of Itself

ARRRRRMY TRAINING.

THERE'S ZOMBIES STARVING IN NEW ARKHAM WHILST YOU PEOPLE STAND AROUND AND TALK PRETENTIOUS BULLSHIT ABOUT STUFF AND THINGS award for OVER-REACTION.

• The player formerly known as Axe Hack

	A Murder(?) Award
	Axe Hack is awarded a Murder(?) Award for THERE'S ZOMBIES STARVING IN NEW ARKHAM WHILST YOU PEOPLE STAND AROUND AND TALK PRETENTIOUS BULLSHIT ABOUT STUFF AND THINGS award for OVER-REACTION

Only nominee.

The Cold Meat Flapping in the Wind Award for Zombie Heart-throb of the Year.

• Two Headed Sex Beast

	A Murder(?) Award
	Two Headed Sex Beast is awarded a Murder(?) Award for The Cold Meat Flapping in the Wind Award for Zombie Heart-throb of the Year.

"NO, KEVAN, I DO NOT WANT ANOTHER STUFFED EAGLE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.... <<150 AP later...>> Yay, a stuffed croc/bear/unicorn!" Award for Safest Suburb

• Ridleybank
• Buttonville
• Dulston

	A Murder(?) Award
	Dulston is awarded a Murder(?) Award for "NO, KEVAN, I DO NOT WANT ANOTHER STUFFED EAGLE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.... <<150 AP later...>> Yay, a stuffed croc/bear/unicorn!" Award for Safest Suburb

Thanks to the hard work of the DA.

Best poop nuggets

• BHers
• Poop Nuggets
• Sysop team

	A Murder(?) Award
	Poop Nuggets is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Best Poop Nuggets

Makes sense, I think.

Sluttiest slut

• Sally Summers corrected
• Kirsty Cotton
• Poop Nuggets
• Sarah Silverman

	A Murder(?) Award
	Sally Summers is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Sluttiest slut

Who didn't see that coming? Pun intended.

Needs to learn how to use the <br> tag in their awards contest most

• Kirsty Cotton
• MMA 12
• Malton Beauty Pageant

	A Murder(?) Award
	MMA12 is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Needs to learn how to use the <br> tag in their awards contest most

For obvious reasons.

Most Cottony PKer whose Name is also Kirsty Cotton and Won This Award Because She is Cool and Awesome, Definitely Not Because She is the Only Judge of the Competition Because That Would be Very Unfair, and Kirsty Cotton is Not Nothing if Not Completely Fair and Awesome

• RadicalWhig
• Izumi Orimoto
• Most Definitely Not Kirsty Cotton

	A Murder(?) Award
	Izumi Orimoto is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Most Cottony PKer whose Name is also Kirsty Cotton and Won This Award Because She is Cool and Awesome, Definitely Not Because She is the Only Judge of the Competition Because That Would be Very Unfair, and Kirsty Cotton is Not Nothing if Not Completely Fair and Awesome

umm...

The Most Lionish Fox

• Foxlion
• FOXHOUND
• Foxy Brown
• Foxy Lady
• Scarlet Fox

	A Murder(?) Award
	Foxlion is awarded a Murder(?) Award for The Most Lionish Fox

This was a close one.

Who Runs the World? Award

• Jerden
• Praise Jerden
• Yes, Praise Jerden
• JERDEN FOREVER
• Jerden! Jerden! Jerden! Jerden!
• ... maybe Jerden?
• The Sith Lord Revenant
• It's blates Rev

	A Murder(?) Award
	The Sith Lord Revenant is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Who Runs the World? Award

Obvious evil genius is obvious.

Best Zerg Award

• Firulais
• Sarah Kerrigan
• MUM Sentry I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX and X

	A Murder(?) Award
	Firulais is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Best Zerg Award

WTG, cheater.

Best Stupid Survivor moment

• 5th of November
• MOMENT?

	A Murder(?) Award
	5th of November is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Best Stupid Survivor moment

VICTORY!

If This Was Star Fox, You'd Be Slippy Frog Award

• RadicalWhig
• Axe Hack
• DanceDanceRevolution
• Dhavid Grohl

	A Murder(?) Award
	DanceDanceRevolution is awarded a Murder(?) Award for If This Was Star Fox, You'd be Slippy Frog Award

Seriously, I don't wanna hear his name is technically Slippy Toad.

Disservice to the PKer Community Award

• PKA
• Rogues Gallery for being broken for months

	A Murder(?) Award
	PKA is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Disservice to the PKer Community Award

Seems to be improving, the fuck took so long?

How Can You Be So Large And Do So Little Award

• The Fortress
• Every Survivor Group on the Stats Page save MCM and PK <3
• The Dead

	A Murder(?) Award
	The Fortress is awarded a Murder(?) Award for How Can You Be So Large and Do So Little Award

#1 survivor group, doesn't do shit.

Decide Whether You Are PKers Or Survivors Award

• Philosophe Knights
• RRF

	A Murder(?) Award
	Philosophe Knights is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Decide Whether You Are PKers Or Survivors Award

<--This<.br>

I'm Playing From a Prison Cell Award

• Irishman
• Irishmen
• Mark Whalberg

	A Murder(?) Award
	Irishmen is awarded a Murder(?) Award for I'm Playing From a Prison Cell Award

I just get that feeling some times.

I'mma Fucking Moron Award

• Thad
• Eagle of Fire
• Kirsty Cotton

	A Murder(?) Award
	Kirsty Cotton is awarded a Murder(?) Award for I'mma Fucking Moron Award

This one was close. I think everyone deserved it.

Most Athletic

• Meeso Sorry
• Cutey Snugglekins

	A Murder(?) Award
	Meeso Sorry is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Most Athletic

Meet and Greet.

Most Team Spirit

• Axe Hack
• Radical Whig

	A Murder(?) Award
	Radical Whig is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Most Team Spirit

Mostly for not writing a FoD rap.

Most Outgoing

• Jerden
• Poop Nuggets outgoing from my a**
• Bob Moncrief

	A Murder(?) Award
	Bob Moncrief is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Most Outgoing

One of only a few awards that isn't insultingly or sarcastically awarded. Bob's fucking awesome.

Biggest Flirt

• Sally A Summers
• Poop Nuggets
• Rando

	A Murder(?) Award
	Sally Summers is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Biggest Flirt

How'd you think we'd get to sluttiest slut?

Best Friends For Life

• Anja and Mallrat
• 15A and PIE
• Survivors and incompetence
• Sarah Silverman and Golam

	A Murder(?) Award
	Sarah Silverman and Golam is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Best Friends For Life

I just wanted to give Sarah an award, I don't know if they even like each other.

Most Likely to Succeed

• Jerden
• Lifetime Achievement (YOU KNOW IT)

	A Murder(?) Award
	Jerden is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Most Likely to Succeed

Hell, he already rules Crowbank.

Most Likely To Be Elected To Be New Pope Award

• Vapor
• Darth Vapor
• Reverend Revenant

	A Murder(?) Award
	Darth Vapor is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Most Likely To Be Elected To Be New Pope Award

You earn it. Your Popeness.

Best Marketing Potential As An Action Figure Award

• Two Headed Sex Beast

	A Murder(?) Award
	Two Headed Sex Beast is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Best Marketing Potential As An Action Figure Award

What parent wouldn't buy one for their kids?

Most Selfless Nomination of Yourself

• Kirsty Cotton

	A Murder(?) Award
	Kirsty Cotton is awarded a Murder(?) Award for Most Selfless Nomination of Yourself

Only nominee.

SMALLEST Ego

• Philosophe Knights
• Vapor. Because I'm fucking awesome like that.
• RADICALWHIG, LORD AND MASTER OF ALL CREATION (THAT MEANS YOU)

	A Murder(?) Award
	RADICAL WHIG is awarded a Murder(?) Award for SMALLEST Ego

It takes humility to use caps.

Suggestion

Poop nuggets. --RadicalWhig 04:31, 13 February 2013 (UTC)

'They see me trenchin', they hatin', patrolling, they tryin' to catch me playin' dirty' Award for Services to Shooting Zombies on the Street despite being Level 43 and Having 30,000 XP Banked.

Best Group that is actually an Unwitting Parody of Itself.

THERE'S ZOMBIES STARVING IN NEW ARKHAM WHILST YOU PEOPLE STAND AROUND AND TALK PRETENTIOUS BULLSHIT ABOUT STUFF AND THINGS award for OVER-REACTION.

The Cold Meat Flapping in the Wind Award for Zombie Heart-throb of the Year.

"NO, KEVAN, I DO NOT WANT ANOTHER STUFFED EAGLE, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.... <<150 AP later...>> Yay, a stuffed croc/bear/unicorn!" Award for Safest Suburb.

You're welcome. --BOSCH 06:32, 13 February 2013 (UTC)

Best poop nuggets. --RadicalWhig 07:08, 13 February 2013 (UTC)

Sluttiest slut :D --Sally A. Summers i Ω i 18:47, 13 February 2013 (UTC)

I could believe it.--SA 18:53, 13 February 2013 (UTC)

Some excellent suggestions. I only went with a single poop nuggets award, as you really need only recognize the best. Bosch, you are looking like early lead for the Cold Meat award. Sally, I don't think I even need to say it. --_K 00:03, 14 February 2013 (UTC)

Needs to learn how to use the <br> tag in their awards contest most.

Most Cottony PKer whose Name is also Kirsty Cotton and Won This Award Because She is Cool and Awesome, Definitely Not Because She is the Only Judge of the Competition Because That Would be Very Unfair, and Kirsty Cotton is Not Nothing if Not Completely Fair and Awesome.

Sauciest, juiciest, smoothest poop nuggets ever- I'm talking the kind of that just extracts itself with practiced surgical precision like a squad of Delta Team operators. You know, no feeling, no smell, just the soft plop of stealthy nuggets doing a post-op heli evac in the middle of the cool summer night. You wouldn't even know they were there if you didn't take a look, but even then these aren't your normal turds, they're truly stealth turds in that they don't take up half the bowl like the usual ugly massive poop nuggets. I mean, they even have the decency to look like something a normal human would lay. No muss, no fuss, no anal crucifixion, just flush and forget. Truly worthy of title of finest poop nuggets ever known to man. We salute your worthy sacrifices. *manly tear* --RadicalWhig 06:01, 14 February 2013 (UTC)

I'm not sure I share your love of the nugget. As the br, I've added some tell me if they help? --_K 23:37, 14 February 2013 (UTC)

Orgasmic. I'm nominating this for the best page ever in the history of pages ever. --RadicalWhig 23:45, 14 February 2013 (UTC)

I added some shit, if I haven't suggested any nominees, I don't know who to nominate. Thanks for your vigilant stalking. --_K 21:48, 15 February 2013 (UTC)

Hmm, a prize for the most lionish fox... I approve. It's a category that should be in every awards ceremony. ;) --  FOXLION    05:24, 16 February 2013 (UTC)

Alright, I'd like 4 more awards for an even 30. And some more nominations. --_K 14:27, 16 February 2013 (UTC)

Make that 3 awards more. --_K 14:32, 16 February 2013 (UTC)

• Lowest Price Per Night of Bunga-Bunga Award
• Most Likely To Be Elected To Be New Pope Award
• Best Marketing Potential As An Action Figure Award

-- Spiderzed█ 15:14, 16 February 2013 (UTC)

• Creamiest, Smoothest PooP Nuggets
• Best Xanax Lipitor Luxury Suites Hot Couples Viagra Make $10000 a Day From Your Home Call Today Cialis
• Most Knowledgeable about Everything in UD except How to Actually Play the Game
• Best Form and Poise when Window Diving
• Most Selfless Nomination of Yourself
• Best Tentacled, Blue-skinned, Triple-Titted Goddess of Chaos ever
• SMALLEST Ego
• POOP NUGGETS

--RadicalWhig 18:59, 16 February 2013 (UTC)

	A Murder(?) Award
	{{{User}}} is awarded a Murder(?) Award for {{{stuff}}}

For later use... --_K 04:01, 22 February 2013 (UTC)

Everything done. Want your award, get it yourself. The template doesn't behave how I thought it would, so if there is some easy fix for that, feel to make it. Just don't ruin the lovely coloring. And with that, fuck you wiki. --_K 22:05, 22 February 2013 (UTC)

If you tell me what it is you try to achieve, I might take a look at it. -- Spiderzed█ 22:37, 22 February 2013 (UTC)

Does the Pope award go to me or the actual Darth Vapor (who sadly is not me but whom I have had the pleasure of PKing)? ~ _{02:55, 23 February 2013 (UTC)}

Didn't even know. It's yours. --_K 04:20, 23 February 2013 (UTC)

An award that showcases my name? Why, thank you. Well, I suppose an acceptance speech is in order. Ahem. I'd like to thank Kirsty Cotton for hosting the best murder awards since 2011, everyone involved in the nominating process, my name, my mane, everyone who died at my hands... --  FOXLION    04:25, 23 February 2013 (UTC)