Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team

Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team
Abbreviation:	D.S. R&D
Group Numbers:	9
Leadership:	Dr. Albert Schwan
Goals:	Improve the lives of all survivors within the infected zone
Recruitment Policy:	Open
Contact:	here or on The Forum

About Us

"Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters; united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of marvels"

-Goya

Notice: This group activly practices combat revives. Please see our Combat Revive Policy

Based in Whittenside’s Colglough Building and started by Dr. Albert Schwan in March of 2010, Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team is a group of devoted scientists and survivors looking to improve the lives of survivors and zombies alike through appropriation of Necrotech science. While Dr. Schwan still searches for a definitive cure for the rot virus and the paralytic state associated with the outbreak, the founding philosophy of this group holds that the zombie/survivor dynamic is the fact of life in Malton. To improve this dynamic for the benefit of all concerned, Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team helps to keep tabs on the state of the rot virus in Whittenside through their updated brainrot Database, and helps to improve quality of life through the Dr. Schwan’s Essentials, Dr. Schwan's Culinary, and The Doc’s Novelties product lines.

Formation

The Four Horsemen (Self-Titled)

"All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree. All these aspirations are directed toward ennobling man's life, lifting it from the sphere of mere physical existence and leading the individual towards freedom."

-Albert Einstein

In early March of 2010, Dr. Schwan was putting the finishing touches on his Feral Undead Blend Finishing Salt when a lab accident caused an explosion that rendered him unconscious for the better part of a day. Analyzing his mistake, Schwan found that the chemical imbalance could have been stopped if he had two or three more hands to hold the chemicals. In true Necrotech fashion, he immediately set to work on a serum that would grow an unspecified number of extra arms. This had to be scrapped, however, when lab tests confirmed that the new proprioceptors could not be linked to the central nervous system, causing the arms to behave unpredictably in clinical tests. Pondering on his failure, Dr. Schwan returned to the Colglough Building Lobby where four members of The Chili Corporation appointed themselves his bodyguards: the self styled “Four Horsemen”. Reflecting on recent events, the Dr. decided that, in lieu of extra arms, a little help couldn’t hurt, and Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team was formed.

The Betrayal?

"The best laid schemes o' mice an' men Gang aft a-gley"

-Robert Burns

Shortly after this, one of the horsmen--Valek Darkmist--killed one of Dr. Schwan's research assitants and destroyed a generator in the neighboring hospital. Another member succumbed to the influence of the rot virus and joined the feral undead. A third member, Sedric Dawn, vandalized the building and fled into the night. With three of the founding members pusuing alternate paths and the fourth gone missing, the future of the organization was dubious. Upon reflection, however, Dr. Schwan decided that the die had been cast and the group would stand. Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team now remains open to all like minded individals interested in bettering our situation through science.

The Fall of Colglough

"It is in his distress that a man is tested, for then his nature is revealed."

-Paracelsis

On March 28th The Colglough Building was taken by a hoard of zombies including members of the Feral Undead, The Undeadites, and the Militant Order of Barhah. Leading this charge were the Four Horsemen, making their intentions towards Colglough and its inhabitants imminently clear at long last. Bolstered by remaining survivors from Fort Perryn, Colglough held out for some time meeting each new zombified visitor with a revivification syringe, but eventually fell to an organized strike by the MOB. After being revived, Dr. Schwan crept back into the facility and looked in dismay at its smoldering ruins. The damaged equipment strewn over the factory floor. His private office soaked with booze and blood and littered with the remains of brave defenders. The smashed remains of The Colglough Building Recreational Intoxication Sub-Facility for the Improvement of Morale Through Dispensation and Responsible Imbibement of Ethyl-Based Beverages. The bravely shambling members of his staff still walking the halls.

As he looked out from his hiding space at the devastation that had once been a meditative art collection from all over Malton, he was struck by a feeling that he knew might have been sadness if not for the effectiveness of the Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors he had taken in preparation for this visit, when, looking down, he noticed a glinting piece of metal within the debris. The syringe still maintained its shine despite the attack and the pre-loaded Necrotech solution glittered in defiance of the chaos all around. As he turned the needle in his hand, he experienced what he knew would have been a renewed sense of purpose if not for the benzodiazepine derivative he had taken in preparation for this visit. None the less, he vowed to the ruins of Colglough and the shoes of a passing zombie that he would restore this facility or become incapacitated in the attempt.

The Current Mission

"Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp, Or what's a heaven for? "

-Robert Browning

The standing orders of this organization remain the restoration of the Colglough to a state of orderly operation and the revivification of all within its walls through guerilla means if necessary.

Mission Strategy

"C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre"

-Pierre Bosquet

All surviving members are encouraged to obtain revivification syringes and make forays into Colglough to revivify those within. Recognized inhabitants of the building including members of this group and “Hulking Zombie” are to be given preferential treatment. Should the target of the revive be infected with brainrot, standard procedure required that the revivifyer carry in a generator and fuel to perform the operation. Members of known zombie groups are to be treated only after all others. Those involved in this operation should not congregate together and should remain at least two blocks from the building when not performing a revivification. Those who fall in this effort are asked to stand and remain in Colglough to await a revive or to move to the revive point to the NE of the building.

The persistant guest: a mission addendum

“House guests are like fish; they stink after three days.”

--unattributed saying

On the 13th of April, Dr Schwan delivered the following address to his staff posted here in the interest of being open about group tactics to facilitate policy change and debate with other groups where needed:

“After conversing with the zombie Priapus (to be found below on the rotter’s list) he has expressed a disinterest in being revivified, an unwillingness to leave the facility, and an eagerness to enter the facility and attack the staff as a survivor once revived. IAs incomprehensible as this behavior appears to the scientific mind, prudence requires that we honor his wishes as long as Whittenside remains unstable. Accordingly, I suggest that staff should ask him to leave when attempting to retake the building and remove him by force should he not comply. Those in proper position of the majority of their faculties while infected with the rot virus, may also wish to aid in this endeavor by attempting to escort him to the door repeatedly as they wait for their own revive. As contrary as this is to my normal inclinations, I see that we have no alternative but to resort to these tactics. I would however stress that, while violent and misguided, he should still be treated as all guests to this facility with all due civility. I further stress that Priapus is the exception to the rule, in general, our job description mandates that in other circumstances, physical violence is always a last resort. Thank you for your time and for your dedication.”

Qualifications

"Superhuman effort isn't worth a damn unless it achieves results"

-Ernest Shackleton

To become a member of this group, survivors must have an interest in science and marketing. Beyond this, there is a code of conduct associated with membership in this organization.

1. Members of this group will not PK survivors unless one of the following previsions be met: (a) in order to defend him or herself or to protect the life of an ally, lethal force is authorized. (b) To protect the cause of scientific advancement, those who would threaten our endeavors through the destruction of generators or other scientific equipment may be dealt with in an extreme manner befitting the gravity of their crime. (c) instructional vivisection: in order to root out the neurological cause of homicidally violent behavior, members of this group are not obligated to but may elect—if their personal research so directs them—to hunt and kill notorious PKers.

2. Members of this group will not kill a zombie without a reason: the virus is the enemy not the zombies themselves therefore the destruction of zombies should be limited to self preservation; protection of survivors, equipment, or facilities; or the furtherance of research. In the latter case, emotional involvement should be avoided.

3. Members of this group will protect and improve scientific facilities, particularly the Colglough Building where possible.

4. In all other areas of survivor interaction, members of the group will remain professional. Remember, the reputation of this establishment and its staff rides with you as you perform your duties.

If you agree to this code of conduct, change your group tag to say “D.S. R&D”, ad your signature to the membership list, copy the code for one of the following flagboxes to your user profile and welcome aboard.

Choosing the Right Tag

Variety's the very spice of life.

—William Cowper

All current branches of this group are based in the Colglough Building in Whittenside. All are responsible for its defense and upkeep while in residence.

The Enforcement Dept.

The primary job of the enforcement dept. is the preservation of Colglough and the protection of scientific staff in the field. Enforcement staff are responsible for handling unruly patients and for responding to homicidal visitors. It is expected that enforcement staff will be well armed at all times.

	Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team
	This user is a member of Dr. Schwan's Research&Development Team: ---Enforcement Dept.

The Marketing Dept.

The primary job of the marketing department is the dissemination of information regarding our group and current releases in the Essentials, Culinary, and Novelty product lines. Marketing members should be familiar with the workings of a radio transmitter and the use of a spraycan and be willing to supply the tinyurls for the product catalogues should the situation warrant. Ideally, members of this department should also speak zamgrh.

	Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team
	This user is a member of Dr. Schwan's Research&Development Team: ---Marketing Dept.

Scientific Development Dept.

The scientific development department is charged with researching the rot virus and finding new applications for Necrotech technology. Members of this department may be required to perform revives, brainrot revives, and combat revives in an effort to better understand the virus. This subgroup must also be on the lookout for new product development ideas within the existing product lines. It is expected that members of the scientific development department will be familiar with the use of all Necrotech devices.

	Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team
	This user is a member of Dr. Schwan's Research&Development Team: ---Scientific Developmet Dept.

The Classification Dept.

The purpose of the classification department is to maintain and update the rotters database. Members of this department must be able to DNA extract zombies and add any individuals with brainrot to the appropriate database for further study. It is helpful if members of this group are registered wiki users but this is not required as members may report findings to director Schwan for upload into the database.

	Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team
	This user is a member of Dr. Schwan's Research&Development Team: ---Classification Dept.

Membership

-- Albert Schwan 

--Buebert (newspaper wielding enforcer)

--Sigmund Amenhauser (scientific development dept: New Arkham Branch)

--DarkBunnyLord (enforcement)

--Sam Public (Chief personnel in charge of sustaining morale)

--solodogscout (Chief personnel in charge of requisition) (dual allegiance with Damn Yankees)

--Kieran Furlong (honorary member and enforcer) (dual allegiance with Damn Yankees)

--Angrabar: an animate fireaxe (Enforcement)(dual allegiance with Damn Yankees)

--Hulking Zombie (Scientific development dept:field testing of revivification agents)

Allies

Damn Yankees

The Big Prick

Current Projects

The Whittenside Rotters Database

Dr. Schwan’s Research and Development Team keeps and updates a list of individuals with brainrot in the Whittenside area. While some have complained that this is nothing more than a way to target and unfairly persecute such individuals, the Dr. is quick to explain that the zombies are not the enemy: The Virus is. The proper use of the rot list is to facilitate field research by allowing Dr. schwan’s Research and Development Team and allied researches the ability to see those individuals who cannot be revivified. Alternately, it serves to track the success of revivification research by allowing a researcher to determine whether such an individual is still holding on to life or has once more embrace the path of Barhah.

To update your contacts, open each link in a second window while logged in to your account, Then update each contact. To add to the database, copy and paste the blank entry at the end of the list and add the relevant data (name and acct#)

2muchdemon4u 2muchdemon4u Aaarrgh Aaarrgh adnexed adnexed Ali Biggs Ali Biggs Andre Cross Andre Cross Artibeus Artibeus Avandor Avandor Babie Babie barhah akbar barhah akbar Blanka the Feral Blanka the Feral boxheaded boxheaded Candy Rotten Candy Rotten Charlie Brutus Charlie Brutus Chawan Chawan Chef Boyardead Chef Boyardead ChewYass ChewYass Chubby Topaz Chubby Topaz cosmonaut cosmonaut DarkBunnyLord DarkBunnyLord Dead Dev Dead Dev der shlickmeister der shlickmeister Devourer of brains Devourer of brains EatyEaty EatyEaty Ed Drool Ed Drool El Coo Cooi El Coo Cooi FenianRam FenianRam Flurgg Flurgg four zombies in one four zombies in one frank skinny frank skinny Gai Cambel Gai Cambel Gakalath Gakalath Gargulec Gargulec geneon1 geneon1 GorgonZ Gorgonz Gretch Gretch Growl909 Growl909 Gurgga Gurgga hambarghar hambarghar Harman Nomnom Harman Nomnom Hulking Zombie Hulking Zombie Ian McKenning Ian McKenning illwind illwind InfestedJerk InfestedJerk Invisible Potato Invisible Potato izzydizzy izzydizzy Jamie Flynt Jamie Flynt JayVee2007 JayVee2007 Joe Fabulous Joe Fabulous JonnyV JonnyV kaddavr kaddavr Kate Monster Kate Monster Kelvin Green Kelvin Green killthepoodle killthepoodle King Willy King Willy Kirk25 Kirk25 Lady Z Lady Z leptir leptir Lick Nuts Lick Nuts lippi lippi Mad Dog Torgo Mad Dog Torgo Malthos Malthos Man of Paper Man of Paper Marakesch Marakesch Martin Luther Martin Luther Maxx Power Maxx Power Meat Meaterson Meat Meaterson Mink Snopes Mink Snopes motahtron motahtron Mutated Ardvark Mutated Ardvark Necrofeelya Necrofeelya NewWorldGrunt NewWorldGrunt Norbert Von Huge Norbert Von Huge nurrr nurrr Nutt Zack Nutt Zack Orit Orit patrick willis patrick willis Paul Lo Paul Lo pedropedro pedropedro Poris Bantling Poris Bantling Porphyric Porphyric Priapus Priapus psrandp psrandp Ragrim Ragrim Randell Cross Randell Cross reverendtrick reverendtrick Richard Halley Richard Halley rocky230 rocky230 Slogar Slogar Smashy McCrusher Smashy McCrusher some shambling meat some shambling meat speedwater speedwater StGravity StGravity SweetZombieJeebus SweetZombieJeebus tastyintestines tastyintestines Te Rauparaha Te Rauparaha The apathy The apathy The Good Soldier The Good Soldier the sherwel building the sherwel building The Spitter The Spitter Timbad Timbad Trent Gray Trent Gray Tyrant 2 1 Tyrant 2 1 uglyasschick uglyasschick uuuuuuhhhhhhh uuuuuuhhhhhhh virus1213 virus1213 whitedwaf whitedwaf wibbleBRAINS wibbleBRAINS Wraith Bait Wraith Bait XjeffieX XjeffieX xypoglub xypoglub YasujiroOzu YasujiroOzu ZackneedsBRAINZ ZackneedsBRAINZ Zameco Zameco zerging Pker 5 zerging Pker 5 Zombie Hassellhoff Zombie Hassellhoff Zombie Lian Gough Zombie Lian Gough Zombie Rush Zombie Rush ZombieDalkorian ZombieDalkorian Zombiespacker Zombiespacker Zombieturbo Zombieturbo '

Dr. Schwan's Essentials Product Line

Dr. Schwan’s Essentials is a new product line developed by Whittenside’s own Dr. Albert Schwan. The Essentials contains products for dashing danger seekers, radiant ransackers, and scientists in the know. Dr. Schwan is even rumored to be working on practical products for the walking dead. Based in Whittenside’s historic the Colglough Building, Dr. Schwan launched his product line in February 2010 with the release of his patented Zombie Repellent Hair Tonic and followed it up with more product releases throughout the year.

Dr. Schwan's Culinary Product Line

Working off of the success of the Dr. Schwan’s Essentials product line, Albert Schwan found himself late one night in Colglough wondering how to improve the lives of those within the quarantine zone through the use of Necrotech science. While staring at a blank work-pad, The doctor gagged down a pre-packaged lunch from the Necrotech cafeteria deepfreeze to maintain his strength. At that moment, an idea hit him like a lump of scalding hot preheated gravy hitting the bottom of an empty stomach. If a society works on its stomach, there must be a way to improve the quality of post-outbreak life by improving the caliber of the available cuisine…THROUGH SCIENCE!

The Doc's Novelties Product Line

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