Malton Conservative Party
| Malton Conservative Party | |
| |
| Abbreviation: | TertAll |
| Group Numbers: | 8 in Malton; 400,000 in the rest of Great Britain |
| Leadership: | Susan Barker http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=293495 |
| Goals: | Hold Gordon Brown to account for his shameful economic policies which have left Malton in such a state! |
| Recruitment Policy: | Email account1066@hotmail.co.uk and let us know if you want to join. The party welcomes all who care about the health service, education, crime, taxes, the environment, etc. Add Malton Conservative Party to group box |
| Contact: | account1066@hotmail.co.uk |
The Party
The Conservatives are Britain's largest (by number of members) and oldest political party. They are currently the official opposition to Prime Minister Gordon Brown's Labour Party, but are soaring ahead in the opinion polls. Every constituency in Britain has a local Conservative association, and the constituency of Malton is no exception. Malton is currently a contested seat, but the Malton Conservative Party is determined to win, and in doing so to make Malton a safer, cleaner, cheaper, more pleasant place to live in.
Core Values
~Save our NHS: The Conservatives have overtaken Labour as the Party of the NHS in Britain. While Gordon Brown is cutting funding and services across Britain, the Conservatives are trying to keep hospitals open. Before the zombie outbreak in Malton, Labour had some particularly ruthless plans to cut resources - judging the number of hospitals (more than a hundred) to be excessive for such a relatively small city. Today, many of Malton's hospitals have wards and corridors blackened with the soot of a recent fire, empty wards criss-crossed with snapped quarantine tape, and main lobbies riddled with bullet holes. What is the government doing about this? Labour trebled funding to the NHS a few years ago: where has all the money gone? The Malton Conservatives have been tirelessly striving to ensure local citizens have access to the proper healthcare they deserve: barricades are being constructed, generators are being refueled, ransack damage is being repaired, and first-aid kits are being distributed free at the point of delivery to all who need them.
~Invest in our schools: Malton's schools have never been in a worse state. Half-finished work is scattered across the floors; knives and cans of spray paint are to be found everywhere. The Malton Conservatives believe in empowering local teachers to take direct responsibility for their school: keeping it tidy and lit, keeping the barricades up, keeping out disruptive zombies.
~Action on Crime: Labour uses dubious statistics to claim that crime is going down. Yet everywhere one looks in Malton break-ins, assaults, and shootings are a daily occurance. Many police stations have been allowed to fall into a state of disrepair, and policemen spend more time stuck in the office than out on the beat. Malton Conservatives believe in maintaining local police stations, and enforcing a zero-tolerance policy towards mauling, biting, and PKing. Let's clean up Malton's streets! We support Malton's police officers 100%.
~Action on Immigration: Malton is only a small city, yet under Labour the number of zombies immigrating here is steadily increasing. Some zombies are peaceful and tolerant, and only want a chance to work. However, a great many simply come here looking for a free ride at the expense of the hardworking taxpayer. They selfishly leech off honest folks' blood, sweat and brains. Malton Conservatives are keen to send any zombies who cannot contribute to our society in a peaceful way back to where they came from: 6 feet under.
~Support Private Enterprise: Malton Conservatives believe that it is the duty of governments to create the best possible conditions for wealth creation - as from this stems all society's prosperity. We are proud of Malton's first-rate scientific industries, and support the work of NecroTech by helping keep their buildings secure and fueled.
~Keep Taxes Low: The zombie epidemic may have caused some problems, but the Malton Conservative Party does not lament the breakdown in tax collection. The Conservative Party backs "fairer, flatter, simpler taxes" - and they don't come any fairer and simpler than a flat-rate of 0% for everyone! The days of Labour's 'tax and spend' economics are over.
~Protect Civil Liberties: Gordon Brown's Labour Party wants to bring in ID cards. The Conservatives are committed to halting/scrapping the scheme as soon as they come to power - believing that the money could be better spent on more prisons, better drug rehabilitation for addicts, and a border police force. Malton's Conservative Party agrees that there are more pressing uses for £2 billion than an illiberal ID card scheme.
~Vote Blue, Go Green: Conservatives across Britain are dedicated to preserving our natural environment: this does not just include cutting carbon emissions, but also making neighbourhoods more pleasant to live in. This means more recycling, better waste disposal, and graffiti removal. Malton already has the lowest carbon emissions in all of Britain - our task now is to improve the local environment by removing dead bodies from buildings, and cleaning up graffiti.
Your Local Conservatives
~Parliamentary candidate for Malton
Susan Barker is proud to have been selected to run as the group's candidate for Parliament, under David Cameron's Women2Win scheme. Miss Barker is a seasoned veteran with hundreds of zombie kills to her name. She has worked ceaselessly to keep our schools and police stations barricaded, and now travels across Malton helping to restore our ruined historic buildings with her toolbox and portable generators. She is very approachable, and always willing to offer FAKs and advice to newbies. Susan Barker has given a lot to Malton: it was her idea and submission which led to the addition of the radio to the game; and she was also the driving force behind the 2006 Barrville Crusade - a bipartisan coalition of 6 human groups attempting to draw zombies from other suburbs by striking the Ridleybank Resistance Front right in their heartland. http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=293495 http://www.conservatives.com
~Local Councillor for Old Arkham
Venezia is a fireman, and for several months was the Malton Fire Department's Lieutenant for Old Arkham. He is an experienced veteran, and has literally stayed for years in the suburb, serving the local community from his base at Edbrook Fire Station, keeping the local hospitals, police departments and schools barricaded and zombie free. In true Conservative fashion, he has exercised a zero tolerance policy towards crime, and when the PKing Philosophe Knights moved into Old Arkham, he saved the life of a survivor they were in the process of killing, then made it his mission to alert the rest of the community. He personally slew 4 Philosophe Knights (two once each, one twice), and tipped off fellow survivors when he'd discovered their base. He also executed a member of the PKing group Iocaine Powder. Lately, Old Arkham has become one of the safest suburbs in Malton. He has now taken up the Conservative Party's call to tackle this zombie epidemic at its source: the breakdown of the traditional family unit! http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=292235
~Local Councillor for Roachtown
Bresh A former military scout, who spends most of his time going on healing runs with FAKs for survivors. He is fed up with Labour's under-funding of the military. When was the last time the troops in Malton got any air support, or ammunition they didn't have to scrounge or make for themselves? http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=302001
~Local Councillor for Pegton
Corrupt1on A veteran of the British Army, Corrupt1on was betrayed by the Labour government: Not only has Chancellor Gordon Brown's abolition of the lowest rate of income tax left him more than £1000 worse off, but his once stable family has broken down around him - due in equal measure to Labour's refusal to grant tax breaks for married couples, and to hordes of rampaging zombies breaching his house! http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=314493
~Local Councillor for Lamport Hills
Anastasia Romonov Despite what conspiracy theorists and cartoon movies say, Anastasia was indeed killed at Ekaterinburg in 1918. However, her rediscovered body happened to be on tour in one of Malton's museums at the time of the outbreak, and was reanimated. Having never quite forgiven the Communists for murdering her family, and also blaming the widespread ruin of buildings in the north-west of Malton on the strong socialist presence there, she has based herself at Southall Mansion and works to restore Malton's glorious traditions and heritage. http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1551072
Our Slogans
99 Tax Rises. Where has all the money gone?
Yes, Gordon Brown has raised taxes 99 times since 1997, but where has all the money gone? Not to Malton, that's for darned sure.
Vote Blue, Go Green
Not only does this reflect our environmental policies (including improving the local environment by cleaning up graffiti - well, all graffiti except our own) but it also reminds the electorate of the fact that with Conservative administration, wards on the suburb map can turn green (safe) and stay that way.
