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Clock.png Inactive Group
D.A.R.I.S. are no longer active. Its group page is preserved for archival purposes. Please do not edit this page. This group was reported inactive on 04:55, 2 January 2009 (UTC) Not Inactive?

For other uses of DARIS see DARIS (disambiguation).

Democratic Armed Republic of Independent Suburbs
The flag of DARIS
Abbreviation: DARIS
Group Numbers: 25 +
Leadership: Managed through direct democracy
Goals: Independence of Shearbank
Recruitment Policy: Membership is exclusive
Contact: Unknown

Something Aweful Goons kicked out of Shearbank

December 2007

After less than a month of pounding the crap out of Something Awefuls' Project: T.I.M.E., Katthew and her pathetic band of SA goons have retreated from Shearbank with their tails between their legs, leaving no doubt who is in command of the suburb. D.A.R.I.S. expected more of a fight against Katthews' homophobic little band, but TIME decided to take "time off" when the heat got too strong. D.A.R.I.S. will continue to rule Shearbank with an iron fist as before!--Headless gunner W! 20:34, 4 December 2007 (UTC)

Oh My GOD! They're Back!

D.A.R.I.S. is in fact back. Love it, hate, it. Ignore it. We really don't care. If you step foot in the suburb of Shearbank, and you are not a Malton PKer, you will die! D.A.R.I.S. has in fact been resurrected by a former Somethingaweful goon. Some have questioned whether it is ethical to bring such a notorious group back from the dead, but seeing as I am the last former D.A.R.I.S. member left in Malton, I feel I have the right and responsibility to continue in the tradition of such legendary patriots, provided strict adherence to the spirit of D.A.R.I.S. is maintained. I intend to continue that spirit by immediately declaring the independence of the suburb of Shearbank from the city of Malton. --The Regulator

Some adjustments have been made to concur with and reflect the changes that have taken place in the two years since D.A.R.I.S. dominated the city. The most obvious of these changes is the acknowledgement of a much larger and diverse populat. Now, Shearbank will become the home for all PKers of the city as I have long envisioned. No longer shall the PKer community drift across the city without roots to drop or a place to call their own that survivors enjoy. We PKers have grown large, and have organized well in two long years, and we deserve a place of our own. Shearbank has always been the historical home for the PKers of Malton. We shall finally once again claim it as our own.

Second, D.A.R.I.S. does not take issue with the new Council of Leaders (CoL) despite the historic drama-fest that coincided with the interaction of the two groups. The past is the past. Many things were said and done back then. Unfounded accusations were made on all sides. The old Desensitized forums and the old Proboards issues are long past and with them, the bitter feuding. The past must stay in the past.


Membership in D.A.R.I.S. is exclusive. We are comprised of some of the most experienced and notorious veteran Pkers in Malton, whose combined tactical and strategical knowledge base make a formidable shadow upon it's enemies. Experience is essential for membership.

Current Events

'LS Day: August 14th, 2007'

After two weeks of cleansing and with the assistance of the LUE, D.A.R.I.S. officially declares Shearbank a liberated Pker suburb, free of trespassing survivors. A few small pockets of vermin still remain in places and we are leisurely rooting them out. Notices of our ownership of Shearbank are up in every building and no quarter shall be given to violators of our territory. We are deadly serious. Stay out of Shearbank or die!

History of D.A.R.I.S.

The Democratic Armed Republic of Independent Suburbs (DARIS) was founded on September 8th, 2005, and claimed the Shearbank suburb. They immediately issued a Declaration of Independence (see below), including a group objective to kill all survivors in Shearbank who did not belong to DARIS. Most non-DARIS members consider the group to have institutionalized PKing, while members of DARIS would equate these to "legal executions."

The Shearbank Liberation Army was formed to oppose DARIS, and in return was labelled a Class Z Threat (Reasons: Threatening to kill/killing DARIS members, spraypainting over warnings in Shearbank, etc). The CoL also became embroiled in an ongoing conflict with DARIS but managed to avoid open war. Some controversy exists over the issue of covert actions that the CoL or its members may have participated in.

Starting approximately September 21, DARIS was driven out of Shearbank by a large horde of zombies. This horde included the Undying Scourge, whose leader, Sniperwulf, believed the members of DARIS were responsible for obscene spamming in the old Urban Dead forum that lead to its closing by Pro-boards. After finding out that DARIS had nothing to do with it, Sniperwulf apoligized for the accusations and attack. This coincided with ongoing human attacks by rival groups such as the SLA, though the importance of the human involvement is debatable. DARIS is generally considered to have dissolved after this event took place, although several of its more vocal members remain prominent. The SLA has claimed they have seen members of DARIS trying to retake Shearbank. It has been pointed out that DARIS does not appear in the new group membership game statistics, meaning that if there are any players still claiming affiliation with the group, they amount to less than ten in number.

DARIS was also the founding member of the UTF, though with the group's apparent dissolvement this currently makes the Penny Heights OGs the only remaining members.

Both The Many and DARIS were primarily drawn from the forum users ("goons") at http://forums.somethingawful.com. Several goons are now part of the new Council of Leaders.

Declaration Of Independence

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. -- That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, -- That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of incompetence and secrecty, seeks to destroy the life and livelihood to which is their right, then it is their duty to throw off such Government, and provide a new guardian for future safety.

Such is the dilemma of these free peoples, to withstand and rise above such petty control, and it is this dilemma that leads them to dissolution. Therefore, I, the appointed Voice of the people do solemny declare that we Free People of Shearbank shall no longer bow to the tyranny of an empowered military state. To that end the Democratic Armed Republic of Independent Suburbs does claim the homes of its citizens, consisting of the suburb of Shearbank, as its territory, for now and for ever.

Within the bounds of Shearbank the democratic decisions of the Populat shall be the highest law. A list of those rulings already passed by a greater than two-thirds majority vote does follow.

Article the First: That the Suburb of Shearbank is Sovereign Territory of the Democratic Armed Republic of Independent Suburbs, subject to the law of said nation and only to the law of said nation.

Article the Second: That all laws and jurisprudence of other states shall not apply within the bounds of Shearbank.

Article the Third: That entry into the suburb of Shearbank by alien nationals is as of now, unallowed, and punishable to the full extent of the law, up to and including summary execution by firing squad.

Article the Fourth: That a copy of this declaration and these Rulings shall be made available for the community of Alien Nationals that exist within the bounds of Malton.

Article the Fifth: That nationals of the Democratic Armed Republic of Independent Suburbs have the full protection of their nation behind them. Should any armed force of another nation or civilians thereof commit acts of violence on any member of the Populat, they will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, regardless of territorial boundries.

Article the Sixth: That criminal punishment and jurisprudence of the Populat shall be administered by the Populat and only by the Populat.

Article the Seventh: That in view of the risks presented by zombies and in particular the Zombie Horde 'The Many', the right of members of the Populat to bear arms shall not be infringed, nor shall the right of free scientific development be restricted.

Article the Eighth: That the Democratic Armed Republic of Independent Suburbs shall have no standing army, and that the government thereof shall leave the use of force in defense of hearth and home to the Populat.

Article the Ninth: The Democratic Armed Republic Of Independent Suburbs shall honor the brave men who valiantly fought for independence. All who fight are honored and gloried, and all are Heroes of the Populat.

Article the Tenth: That information relating to the Democratic Armed Republic of Independent Suburbs shall be posted to a group listing of the forums in order to edify the alien population.

Article the Eleventh: That the Democratic Armed Republic of Independent Suburbs shall document aliens eliminated by the Populat, such that families may know what has become of their loved ones. As per this article, aliens eliminated in the battle for the Democratic Armed Republic of Independent Suburbs' independence shall follow.

Article the Twelvth: That those who have died in service to the Populat are honored as Martyrs and their name said far and wide.

In summation and effectively immediately and henceforth in perpetuity, STAY OUT OF SHEARBANK. YOU WILL BE KILLED. LEAVE US ALONE.