Garniss Border Patrol

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Garniss Border Patrol

Active in Scarletwood since January 2006

Abbreviation: GBP
Group Numbers: 23
Leadership: Dr Killdare
Goals: To defend the Garniss Special formula from zombies
Recruitment Policy: Anyone residing in Scarletwood who wants to join should click on the contact link below
Contact: here

The Garniss Border Patrol, or GBP, the oldest survivor group in Scarletwood, established the Garniss Building as their safe house and permanent base of operations on 6 January, 2006. The GBP is one of the few remaining active groups, survivor or undead, indigenous to the southeast since the beginning of the Zombie Apocalypse.

Ostensibly dedicated to protecting the suburb from the zombie menace, the GBP is actually a secret society of modern day monks, ninjas and nuns dedicated to the art of brewery and the preservation of the secret recipe to Malton's greatest alcoholic beverage, the Garniss Special. Invented in the 13th century by ancient monks, the Garniss Special is said to give the drinker supernatural abilities and also 'totally get you hammered'. The Garniss Border Patrol's home base rests upon the very site of that ancient monastery, and the members of the GBP who stay there feel a deep connection to the ancient tradition of getting really, really drunk.

It is rumored that the Garniss Special is so potent it can melt through steel in half an hour. We can't confirm or deny that rumor since we've never had a batch to 'age' that long.

A Brief Overview

Who the hell are the GBP, and why should I care?

The GBP is made up of survivors holed up in Scarletwood who's members have banded together to dedicate their lives to preserving the ancient art of brewing the Garniss Special and protecting its secret formula from the grabby, rotten hands of zombies, specifically the Feral Undead, LUE and The Lagging Dead, also (semi-)permanent residents of Scarletwood.

How the Garniss Border Patrol Came To Be

The brewing operation started centuries ago by an order of ancient monks and nuns dedicated to the art of getting really drunk off their asses. Their experimentation with various wines and ales eventually lead to the creation of a mysterious beverage known only as the Garnissfield Special, after the monk Hans Garnissfield, who invented it. Over time, the original name became lost to the ages but when the Border Patrol took up residence in the building and discovered the ancient formula, the Garniss Special was perfected and the Garniss Border Patrol was born in order to protect the sanctity and glorious quality of this ancient drink. Eventually ninjas and pirates came to help the GBP with protecting the ancient recipe but the pirates soon scuttled off to Danversbank, never to be seen again, while the ninjas stayed in Scarletwood to help protect the recipe.

What Exactly IS the Garniss Border Patrol?

Honestly, most days we don't have a clue but five years of continuous alcohol poisoning will do that to a group. If we knew the answer to that question, there'd probably be some hairy chest thumping among the guys and a lot of bragging and cat-calling from upper storied windows from the girls (or do I have that reversed?)

For now, let's just say it's a sekret because we want to be thought of as mysterious, like some of the other groups in Malton, but we'll post the answer as soon as we figure it out if it doesn't interfere with Happy Hour, ballgames or naptime.

Weekly Social Calendar of Events

Monday - "Twilight" book series discussion. Bonfire, book burnings and cocktails to immediately follow.

Tuesday - Bingo and Square Dancing

Wednesday - Designated "No Pants Wednesday" in honor of MeanMrMustard

Thursday - "Prayer Meeting" hosted by various guest speakers

Friday - "Friday Night Pub Crawl" lead by Dalt Wisney

Saturday - Pizza, Mojitos and "Movies That Don't Suck" Night, featuring 50's and 60's SciFi movies. No advance reservations are necessary. Come as you are and bring Godzilla toys.

Sunday - Beer and ballgames (Duh!)

Overheard in Garniss

When asked how he'd describe recent events in the Garniss Building with the Feral Undead and LUE for an upcoming wiki update, Jason Fullbrook was quick to say "Garniss was up and down like a couple of Kangaroos in mating season."

During a stragetic planning meeting:

Dalt Wisney said "*ponders how to make a bar that will follow him around and come running when he yells*"

Dr Killdare said" "I would suggest getting a dog and put saddlebags on him loaded with booze and bar supplies. Dogs are pretty loyal and they'll follow you around but if you have any doubts, use a leash."

Caught on security camera during an "unscheduled" evacuation:

  • Proffessor Willie said "Well that is about all I can do with an axe, so..... RUN LIKE HELL! (Grabs all the booze he can carry and runs out the door,)"
  • illwinds left hand said "skitter... skitter... skitter... (thump) skitter... limp... skitter... limp... skitter"

The Garniss Border Patrol Prayer

"Our lager, Which art in barrels, Hallowed be thy drink. Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk), At home as it is in the tavern." "Give us this day our foamy head, And forgive us our spillage, As we forgive those who spill against us. And lead us not to incarceration, But deliver us from hangovers. For thine is the beer, the bitter, and the lager. ......Barmen. *quaffs reverently*"

(Thank you, Brazzah Wisney. Aman!)

The GBP Wall of Shame (and Some Friends)

Candid photo of several GBP in an Emergency Preparedness Meeting.

Bar photo3.jpg

Dalt Wisney on patrol. Viking2.jpg

Professor Willie dressed for a night on the town. Bar photo1.jpg

GBP's War Room. Bar photo4.jpg

Axholio - RPM, Pennville. Sole survivor of the Woolven Cinema Saturday Night Nudist Colony. (A.K. A., "Mr. September, 2009") Axholio1.jpg

Tied to a stick, it's a backscratcher. Placed on a Christmas Tree, it's a roving ornament. Thrown into a batch of Garniss Special, it's a main flavoring ingredient. It's illwind's left hand. Illwindslefthand.jpg

Alt Policy

GBP members are not to participate in zerging or multi-abuse. Our policies are simple:

1. Your alts should keep a minimum safe distance of at least 10 blocks from each another.

2. Alts must not collaborate, and must not be treated as though they are interchangeable. They most certainly are not.

The Scarletwood Barricade Policy

Scarletwood Barricade Policy

Historical Events

For old history items, see The Archives

Sgpicon1.gif Sacred Ground Policy Supporter
This user or group supports the Sacred Ground Policy and acknowledges that all Cemeteries in the city of Malton are considered Revivification Points.
Zambahandshake.JPG Civility
This user or group believes that while zambahz and humans must kill each other, they can still be civil about it.
McZeds.png McZeds™
This User or Group eats at McZeds™. They also support the Use of Corpses for High Quality Processed Fast Food.
Ubpicon1.gif Uniform Barricading Policy Supporter
This User or Group supports the Uniform Barricading Policy by actively maintaining barricades according to local plan or UBP standard.
This user or group supports the No Random Revive Policy
Green-beer.jpg Garniss Border Patrol
This group or user has had the pleasure of drinking with the Garniss Border Patrol.
know what you are talking about Short-wave Radio Info
This group or location has a dedicated radio frequency.

Frequency: 27.86 MHz MHz
Transmitter Coordinates: *Throughout Scarletwood*