LUE/CDF Watchman

The following are selected editions of the Creedy Defense Force's Watchman publications dealing with the zombie horde LUE during part of its LollapaLUEza tour in 2007. A more complete archive can be found here.

The CDF Watchman vol. 2, no. 17

Originally published July 15, 2007

Oh boy...has the Watchman ever seen some sh*t this week. Dig out of your hiding spots long enough to read the news, people.

Top story this week, as you all know, is the devastation that occurred less than three days ago, when a massive zed group called Life, the Universe, and Everything (LUE) ran roughshod over Pitneybank. A special report from AZTAU 2IC and Malakim member Luxembourg has the details.

Prologue

Almost 200 LUE zombies shambled into Raikes Bank by the 9th of July. Warnings of their presence in Pitneybank did nothing to raise morale or support. It would be certain that some frightened mall rats disappeared during this time. On the eve of July 11th, struggling survivors lodged in the Fort were snuffed out by the LUE. With the utter demise of the Fort, the festering corpses set their eye sockets on the gem of Pitneybank…

The Fall of Giddings

Only the radio chatter and contemplation of Fates echoed throughout the Mall. Newspapers fluttered down the escalators, confirming the silence. It was hard to identify the rumbling from the noiseless north corners... it was a constant sound, the marching of feet into the Mall.

Crimson glaze smeared the walls, limbs and supplies were scattered on the bloody concrete floor. Fortunate survivors fled from the north corners, each one carrying themselves and their supplies before the advancing horde. The unlucky ones away created a very messy meal for the LUE. Selfishness and lack of consideration led to the crumbling of the north corners’ defense. Defenders who abandoned the barricades sought refuge elsewhere or in the southern corners. Immediately the NE and NW corners were swarmed with over 50 zombies.

Remaining defenders numbered a little over 100 in both the SW and SE corners. Barricades were braced in spite of small zombie infiltrations. Even as vending machines and tables were shoved against the shaking doors, some encouraged escaping the imminent doom.

July 12th: Due to the valiant efforts of the mall defenders, the southern corners held…at least SE did until midday. During that time, less than 20 survivors occupied the corner, with much of the AP spent barricading, it was impossible to repel the 10+ zombies inside. One by one the mall guards fell in the line of duty.

An hour or so later the southern corners collapsed in the face of the massive horde. Despite the adamant bravery of the mall defenders, they were unable to replicate the success at Caiger Mall so long ago. And so Giddings Mall trod the same path as the others after lasting a mere 22 hours.

As of print time

As of print time, Giddings Mall and all of the surrounding buildings have been utterly crushed by this group. Make no excuses for the loss, everyone. We put up the best fight we could against vastly superior numbers, and on very short notice. The CDF wishes to extend thanks to all its allies who lent their help. Special mention goes out to the CGR, for offering a short term cessation of hostilities during this crisis. The CDF also wishes to extend congratulations to our enemies for an honorable victory.

An operation to retake our suburb will begin within the week. In the meantime, all CDF members are advised to seek shelter in Tynte Mall to reorganize.

While we're on the subject of bad news, the Watchman must regretfully report the departure of Reddeath this week. Red was a long-time member of the group, and a valuable part of PKRU. Unfortunately, he decided to take his leave of the group and pursue other interests. We will surely miss him here, and wish him well in his endeavors.

On the brighter side, resident code monkey Aypok has been re-promoted to PKRU status again. Another tough soldier helping to defend us against the misguided survivors in town.

And finally, many of you may have wondered what has happened to numerous members of staff, who have become bovig recently. AZTAU member Innervision provides a brief investigation.

Bovig Sightings Cause Chaos for Pitneybank Citizens

The Bovig: part bovine, part pig. This mythical animal is well loved by all of Malton's citizens and cherished for its delicious meat, which carries the flavors of both bacon and steak. Of all of Malton's people, however, the Creedy Defense Force cherishes this animal most, going so far as to make it their mascot.

This once thought lost animal has made several appearances as of late, which seem to coincide with the mysterious reappearance of Aypok, veteran CDF, founder of Bovig Ltd., and creator of the first bovig.

Aypok founded Bovig Ltd. in May of 2006 in order to supply the country with Baconated Juices. Their secrets did not last long before the first bovig was cloned without authorization by a fellow named HVLD. This new bovig herd seems to be the cause for the recent confusion caused in Pitneybank.

"They are a menace to our operations. I ordered a scout to check out the Fort area and his boots had been eaten by a Bovig!" says Prophet, long time ally of the CDF and bad-ass leader of the FVZA, "I say we shoot these fraudulent clones."

Aypok himself could not be reached for comments and for now we can do no more but speculate on the goal of these mischievous little cow-pigs.

Conclusion

Perhaps soon we will be able to uncover the mystery, but with Pitneybank a shambles, further investigation may prove difficult.

Drag yourselves off the floor, and we'll see you in Tynte Mall! Until next week, CDFers!

The CDF Watchman vol. 2, no. 18

Originally published July 22, 2007

What ho, brave survivors! It's reading time, so get your pipes and smoking jackets, and curl up with this week's CDF Watchman.

Believe it or not, but the cease-fire agreement with CGR has spawned another full week! It's truly amazing that all it takes is an unstoppable, rampaging zombie horde of hundreds to quell the age-old (and largely stupid) fighting between our groups. Moreover, the CGR have been working furiously to rebuild Giddings Mall. As of print time, the mall is actually up and running! So CDFers, what have you been doing? Surely you've already posted all your activity in the relevant threads by now, since we won't be shown up by that bunch of rapscallions, will we?

While on the topic of posting, I'd like to take a moment to point out that we do, in fact, want to know what you're doing out there. This means situation reports to help those going out in the field for the day, updates on objectives and activity in mission threads, and of course, friendly banter everywhere else. New people, don't be afraid to join right in! Old timers, what the hell is wrong with you?!

*ahem*

At any rate, standing orders have been posted in both unranked and security threads entitled "Continuing efforts." This will be the new thread for activity when there is no defined mission profile. All you lazy bums who don't read much, at least take the time to check it out and make sure you know what the f* is going on.

Horde Passes Through Giddings

As the days pass and no help arrives for the citizens of Malton, the survivors grow accustomed to barricaded buildings for the night and the use of firearms. Malls have been a beacon to survivors since before the Incident, and they continue to be Post-Incident. Hundreds of survivors flock to the malls, seeing them as havens against the zombies shambling around the streets, but every once in a while something happens that causes chaos and confusion to the people of these malls: zombie hordes.

The hordes knock on barricades and the survivors panic. The CDF tries to keep order, but as the zombies break in, the “mall rats” flee and the mall falls.

When asked about the CDF’s re-entry into the area surrounding Giddings mall, and recent attempts to get control away from the horde, Aypok had this to say: “[The CDF] don't "control" any suburbs, we merely do our best to keep people alive (and zombies dead).” He continued on to say that survivors should “[n]ever … stop fearing [the zombie hordes]”.

Further conversations with the veteran member of the CDF hinted at a plan to retake the Giddings area and put an end to the horde’s presence here but he could not go into detail due to security reasons. For now, we hope the CDF know what they’re doing.

-Innervision, roving reporter

On the recruitment front, our new faces are Shadowkill99, SGTFarris, and Nikolai7. You know the drill guys, activity = access. Good hunting!

And that's all she wrote, folks! The city of Malton needs you!

The CDF Watchman vol. 2, no. 20

Originally published August 5, 2007
Note: the following information is also covered in the wiki article The Battle of SantLUEville.

Wow! Twenty issues already! That also means that I've been doing this for over five months now. Holy hell. Anyway, on with the show!

This week saw more quiet on the home front. With the consistently extending cease-fire agreement between the CDF and CGR working onwards to a full month, many CDFers are enjoying the lack of PKing and taking the time to help defend the hotly contested Farmer NT building. Still others have taken a trip up to Santlerville to assist our allies the Dribbling Beavers against another attack by LUE. AZTAU Co-commander and Malakim soldier Luxembourg has the story.

The Philosophic Menace Strikes Again!

Death was a constant companion to the defenders at Dowdney Mall. As they held their shotguns tightly against their beating breasts, LUE pounded on the mall’s walls.

July 29

A separate group called the Reanimations slipped into Dowdney and brutally smashed the generators in the corners. Their cowardly actions assisted in crippling search rates for necessary supplies. Within about 30 minutes the shambling cadavers burst into the southeast corner, slaughtering survivors inside. Neither the active nor inactive were spared a messy fate. Once the only living inside were the undead, the corner was ransacked. Those online scurried toward safety or rushed to fortify the remaining quadrants.

July 30

Furniture and electronics piled against the door were ground down as claws shredded them with lightning speed. With the barricades dispatched, the unliving fellows shambled into the mall to spread barhah to all. Empty shells and bullets rained down onto the ground, the survivors plugging zombies full of lead before heaving them out of broken windows. And yet even with this staunch resistance, the northwest corner crumbled like the one before it. Thus the survivors only held two corners…

As the southwest corner held so many defenders, the punishment was its imminent destruction. Minutes after the northwest corner had fallen, the groaning congregation partied inside, also ransacking it.

Somber faces ran to their last bastion of hope, present survivors and ones who had fled from the other fallen corners resided there. The future looked bleak. Survivor numbers dwindled to about 50, many of them lost to a flurry of claws, or had decided it was futile to defend the ailing mall. And so as the tatters of the survivor defense were trampled, Dowdney Mall was led to ruin.

July 31-August 1

A massive lull in zombie activity marked these days. They spent these festive days parading inside the mall, making merriment upon the mangled bodies of their enemies. However, aid had been requested, and survivor efforts to regroup led to the subsequent breakout to reclaim Dowdney the following day.

August 2

A silent morning erupted into bloody combat, as survivors stormed the staircases into northeast Dowdney. Rubble was quickly thrown against entrances, and survivors trickled into the reclaimed square. Once the generator was established, the mall was fully capable of restocking desperately low inventories. Alas, the success was half-realized. Throughout that time, survivors popped in and out, but none thought to stay inside. By midday 50+ zombies occupied the northwest corner, the rest of the squares desolate. Although some of the corners were barricaded to the max, there was no one there to defend them.

August 3-4

Bitter conflict was waged on both sides for control of mall corners. Little or no progress was made retaking the mall, control resting solely with the zombies. All the while, “Mrhs” resonated loudly at St. Emelia’s… and a plague of corpses descended upon Santlerville’s visitors and inhabitants residing nearby.

Also in CDF/CGR news, there's a lot of chatter going around about a permanent settlement between the two camps. Staff is optimistic about the possibility, but nothing official can be announced yet. Just keep your ears open, and eyes on the board for the latest developments.

Since he rarely reads this far into the Watchman, I just wanted to say hi to our good friend and ally, Prophet of the FVZA. :P

Last week I very regretfully forgot to mention Azombiesdeath's promotion to security. This is the second time I've managed to forget the poor guy in the Watchman. AZD, congratulations on both the promotion and for being a successful wallflower.

Once again, it's a new month, which also means a new roll call for everyone. Same rules apply as last time (and they'll stay this way, so get used to it), so if you don't post, don't come crying about getting demoted or purged.

That's it this week! The twentieth issue of the Watchman is over! Get back to work!

The CDF Watchman vol. 2, no. 21

Originally published August 12, 2007

Put down that Twinkie and feed your brain! It's time again for the Watchman!

After LUE made their next stop at Dowdney Mall in Santlerville, the CDF received a call for support from The Dribbling Beavers. AZTAU and CLERIC were dispatched to assist, and Malakim also made a showing to help with the effort. Thanks to the cooperation between our groups, the area is once again well populated and alive again. Cheers to Sexy Rexy Grossman of DB for the invite! We're glad we could help!

But it it not only Santlerville that is recovering from the latest horde's assaults. Staff writer Luxembourg has more from closer to the homefront.

In the Aftermath

Low brief groans were scattered throughout the town, the winds of fate whistled through the windows and doors while Breddy Park was crammed with “Mrhs.” Low level survivors who stood for days on end without aid resorted to clumsily clawing their fellow man for experience. Although the scourge of Malton had departed from Pimbank and the surrounding area, the supplies and manpower scrounged up to resist them left the suburb crippled.

Even the living had fled the area, off to secure suburbs that would be potential targets for the LUE and trailing zombies. Those who had rose from a painful afterlife or survived the assault were left to fend for themselves. Tynte Mall was abandoned; the lone zombie that never could have captured the mall basked in the sunlight reflected off the shattered windows. Unfortunately, there weren’t enough resources to capture and maintain the corner with just one zombie.

Vital resource buildings were ransacked, most importantly Necrotech Facilities. Ferals were free to roam, however there weren’t too many to maul that weren’t already dead. Pimbank had succumbed, and the slightest signs of life were on the borders of the adjacent suburbs.

Despite the fact that the LUE had passed, the chaos it left in its wake rivaled that of its entrance.

-Luxembourg, Staff writer

Creedy Guerilla Raiders cease-fire

Of course, the hot topic on everyone's mind and all over the board is the prospectus of a permanent peace agreement with the CGR. Negotiations are going very well, and we may just see this fabled event happen very shortly. Rest assured, the moment something definite happens, you'll know. And the Watchman will have special reports for you as well!

We've got some more recruits to welcome aboard, so say hello to Awkward Jellyfish, Catharine Halsey, and Pirate John! Also, one of our Elder CDFers has popped back in, so be sure to tip your hat to Empty Head when you see him around.

A bit congratulations going out to Innervision this week, as he's made the grade and been promoted to PKRU! Another fine example of the CDF's Golden Rule at work: Activity = Access!

As you were, then! The city is collapsing, and the first thing keeping the Creedy area secure is your vigilance! Until next week, keep your head down!

The CDF Watchman vol. 2, no. 22

Originally published August 20, 2007

The Watchman would like to apologize for the lateness of this edition. The Editor-In-Chief became horribly intoxicated on print day, and subsequently was unable to make the deadline.

Anyway! What a week it's been. There's so much to tell that this may be single most important (and interesting) issue of the Watchman yet! Strap on your headbelts, people!

First and foremost is the landmark peace agreement between the CDF and its oldest and fiercest rival, the Creedy Guerilla Raiders. Yes, it's true; a permanent end to hostilities. The official terms as they stand now can be seen here. There may be amendments to follow, but for now it's enough to say that the Creedy area just became a lot safer, and a lot stronger. Despite what you may think about them, the CGR is without question a dedicated, organized, and capable group, so having them focusing their efforts elsewhere is nothing short of a heavy load lifted from our collective shoulders. The CDF wishes to express its sincere thanks to Franz Molotov for facilitating the negotiations. We're all looking forward to finally being able to bury the hatchet and getting on with keeping our hood zed-free. Speaking of hatchets, staff writer Luxembourg has a brief synopsis of the events:

A Hatchet Buried

Bitter tension plagued the CGR and the CDF, each created to defend its own cause. Murmurs of peace were quickly silenced due to conflicting demands. There was at least one short ceasefire, but it ended horribly and diplomatic talks lay dormant. For over a year both sides exchanged blows, although no ground was gained.

Enter the zombie horde, LUE. Their trail of chaos eventually led them to the suburb of Pitneybank. Survivor resistance was quickly organized and there was consideration for the effects of PKing during this time of turmoil. A temporary ceasefire was initiated between the CGR and CDF on July 11th to the 18th. Dire consequences were laid down for any members of either team who would inflict harm against the other.

As the LUE and zombie hordes ravaged Pitneybank, the treaty between the two groups ended on the 18th; but it was extended for another week.

Immediately when the extension ended on the 25th, a few kills were inflicted upon the CDF. Five days later, another tack was added, making the treaty last for two more weeks. And on August 12th, another addition made the end date the 27th. However a momentous decision was declared on August 16th, when the CGR and CDF agreed to a permanent ceasefire.

Celebration rang through the streets, and a sour grudge was finally laid to rest.

-Luxembourg, staff writer

But the goods news doesn't end there! A monumental game update has now transformed the blessed walls of Fort Creedy from a deathtrap into what is quite likely the single most defensible position in all of Malton. Now that bodies can actually be thrown outside the walls, survivors from all over have begun flocking to our homefront. It won't be long before the hordes come knocking on our door, but in the meantime, enjoy the party!

All is not well in Malton, though. This week saw a freak wheelchair accident at Dowdney Mall claim the life of our dear ally and compatriot, Prophet, ex-leader of the recently disbanded Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency. His body was airlifted out of Malton city limits by FVZA choppers, and will be doused in whiskey and set aflame, as his last known will and testament dictates. The CDF mourns the loss of both Prophet and the FVZA.

Elsewhere in Malton, the LUE continues their rampage. Luxembourg has the story straight from the front lines.

Report From the Front

August 16

The road of ruin was a long one to Caiger Mall, as most buildings stood with their doors off the hinges. Latrobe, the lifeline of the mall, was severed after a brutal assault from zombie forces. Once survivors had cleared out, a few zombies resided inside, while the rest filtered out toward the mall.

Next, the northwest corner fell, whirs from the generator sputtering to a halt. Afterwards the zombie force rested in Latrobe, filling it 100+ strong. Although yet again a handful of zombies stayed inside the corner. A bit later there was a minor break-in in the SE corner, however the Ackland Mall Security Strike Team arrived, and with their support, Caiger defenders secured the grounds.

At that time, the Acklanders were transmitting requests for aid. Another break-in was recorded in the SE, as the defenders started bolting down the doors; the raiding zombies immediately began mauling the active barricaders.

All the while, the main bulk of zombies were resting in the ransacked NT, preparing for the assault on the mall the following day.

August 17

Utter chaos. Shrieks of terror were only muffled by the constant hammering of planks onto the rumbling doors.

It seemed the zombie forces in Latrobe were in the mood for a midnight snack. Only about 40 zombies stood inside the NT, while numbers over 100 and 50 resided in the newly fallen NW and SW corners, respectively. More than 50 survivors scurried around in the NE and NW Corners, however AP and supplies were scarce. A handful of zombies had breached both the corners, yet no one was capable to raise arms against them or dump decaying bodies outside.

Early morning, and not a single sound resonated from the fallen mall. Mangled survivors lay beside their arms, courage and valor clinging on to the last man. In the heat of the conflict, zombies poured into the NE and SE corners, smashing any electronics running and gesturing death towards survivors. Against this staunch foe, the defenders were in tatters. Despite meager assistance, the frequent call to arms passed over deaf ears.

And so, the mall that immortalized survivor resistance fell yet again, the buildings nearby subsequently purged of their living inhabitants, and the suburb thrown into turmoil.

-Luxembourg, staff writer

Thankfully that's about the end of the bad news. We're knee-deep in new recruits this week! Say hello to Phattony, Iggy2010, Icecool, Hellfighter473, Friedrich, Comyn, and Skyvia. Whew! Now if we had a sure-fire way to make sure they all stayed active...

The new update seems to have stirred the fire in one man's heart. The CDF extends a very warm welcome back to THEllisor, a member of very old standing who left a long while ago to pursue a new group to focus on his home suburb of Peppardville. It's good to have you back, and trust that we will be spending a lot more effort to keep Peppardville as sharp as Pitneybank in the near future.

Several of our newer members also have reason to cheer. Innervision of AZTAU has been promoted to PKRU status, and joins the hardened warriors that fight the enemy within. PKRU member Zombie Spray has also received a promotion, and is now one of the very few honored to serve in Malakim as well. Well done indeed, gentlemen. Finally, a tip of the hat goes out to Norman Black, Ishmael Jackson, Sgt Farris, and Nikolai7 for proving their worth and earning security clearance. We expect you all to keep up the good work!

The future is looking bright for the CDF and the entire Creedy area. With the changes this week has brought, the CDF now has far more manpower and energy available to not only consolidate security on the homefront, but also to begin thinking about expanding operations to what they were in years past. So stick around, and keep your eye on the Watchman for the latest! Until next time!