Talk:The Malton Globetrotters

Were you There?

Did you ball with the Globetrotters against the Bowring Blackwatch? Wear your new ribbon proudly!

Murderball League

Officially, none of us give a shit about this. Sorry. -- #34 - robotsinmyhead ^TMG Team Captain

Robots, thanks for clearing that up. For awhile there I actually thought you guys did give a shit but just really really sucked at Murderball. Once again, thanks for clearing it up. --Shazzelim 17:06, 9 June 2008 (BST)

Honorary Globetrotter

Jessica Holmes has been passed around this team like a three man weave drill, so it's only fitting that we acknowledge our number one groupie with her very own #69 jersey!--#19 - DrPain ^TMG 03:37, 27 May 2008 (BST)

Welcome aboard! When is my turn? -- #34 - robotsinmyhead ^TMG Team Captain

This reminds me - Team Physicals are next week. If you start pissing blood before then let me know.--– Nubis 03:44, 27 May 2008 (BST)

Don't bench me! I can still play!!

I'm surprised I caught anything though .. you know .. hotdog in a hallway and all that. -- #99 ^{DCC SNACK STRONG} 09:05, 27 May 2008 (BST)

For The Fans

Let me get serious for a second here and tell you why YOU should be rooting for the Malton Globetrotters.

First of all, the average everyday citizen of Malton will never fear a pickup game against the Globetrotters. We're not interested in cross-checking spectators or picking fights with concession stand vendors. We're here to play play against other TEAMS in Malton. If you are on a team, you're pretty much fair game, but we're pretty picky about who we play, when, and where.

Aside from teams, there are a few singular individuals with whom we will hone our skills. These are the sorts of people that would carry and wear a giant foam finger with #1 Bowring Blackwatch on them or dress up as team mascots for teams that don't exist (furries). Futhermore, the Globetrotters do NOT tolerate negative publicity, and posting slanderous data about the team on the internet will earn you a SNITCH title. If you don't know, snitches invariably get stitches.

So, to you, average Larry Loadshotgun and Sally Sipsbeer, root for the home team, cause we're taking the title this year and we will not be stopped. SNACK STRONG MALTON!
#34 - robotsinmyhead ^TMG Team Captain

• I'd like to add that the Globetrotters are available for exhibition games! We're more than happy to serve our fans with a FREE (yes, FREE!!) show at any gathering! No matter if it's a wedding or a funeral, a baby shower or your sons 21st birthday, The Malton Globetrotters are sure to turn any event into an extravaganza! --#63 - NGE^TMG 23:20, 13 May 2008 (BST)

• Without the fans the game is meaningless! Our theatrical entrance does involve some pyrotechnics, but no one has lost an eye yet!--#19 - DrPain ^TMG 02:25, 15 May 2008 (BST)

• We will need the venue to accept our rider and provide pre- and post- game towels. There is also a waiver and a standard deal with the devil soul exchange contract.

• Substitution of players is allowed so don't be disappointed if your favorite player can't make the game. -- #99 ^{DCC SNACK STRONG} 09:08, 27 May 2008 (BST)

Line Up

(I might have the positions and Universities wrong - feel free to change them)
#-0 - kid sinister - Designated Hitter - Tupelo, MS Institoot of Fancy Learnin'
#4 - Haberdash - Center - Crooketon College of Pharmacology
#10 - MONEY - 2nd Base - Pegton School of Design
#11 - William "Bob" McAfee - Designated Hitter - Spicer Hills Junior College
#13 - Nubis - Third base coach - Madame Wu's Nail Salon and Waxing College
#17 - DrLariat - High Sticking - Dakerstown Clown College
#19 - DrPain - Strongside Psycho - Pimbank University of Psychology
#24 - Gardenator - Donuts mmmmm - University of China Fire Academy Distance Education ^{Note - Currently on leave to Dunell Hills}
#27 - Man of Meat - Pole Position - Yale College of Dating
#31 - Drungjausen - Loose-head Prop - Judgewood Taxidermy Academy
#34 - robotsinmyhead - Outside Killbacker, Team Captain - University of Phoenix Online School of Demonology
#42 - Shambles_Rottengut - Right Field - Ozark Community College of Welding and Plumbing
#50 - Captain Keekles - Utility Murderer - Serial Killing Secondary School
#57 - LABIA AWARD - Catcher - Dahl's College of Beauty
#63 - NGE - Short Killstop - Eastonwood College of Cosmetology
#66½ - Doctor Nick - Linebacker - Brooksville Budget Medical School and Clown College
#69 - Jessica Holmes - Team Floozie - Rocco's Anal Academy
#75 - StoicFascist - Right Wing - Harvard Law
#86 - Dr Dagless MD - Horror Writer - Dark Places Hospital
#99 - DCC - Goalie - University of Shearbank
#XX - Jack Sparta - Murderback - Dunell Hills Community College
#420 - MANDOZERTHEGREAT - Niggerdeath - Linden Boulevard College of Pharmaceuticals and Hustling
#8675309 - Laughing Man - Halffront Backforward - Larry Storch's School of Murderball

Sport your fuckin' pride for the Globetrotters here

GLOBETROTTERS BE ROLLIN' BABY!!!--#19 - DrPain ^TMG 05:59, 28 April 2008 (BST)

Not only do I support the 'trotters, but I'm a player too! --#63 - NGE^TMG 01:46, 28 April 2008 (BST)

• *high fives* -- #34 - robotsinmyhead ^TMG Team Captain

The Apostle Paul of Murderball checking in to say eat your Wheaties, wear your pads, and cheer for the Globetrotters until your lungs fill with blood! --#XX - Jack Sparta ^TMG 02:11, 28 April 2008 (BST)

• Whether its pickup hoops on the streetcorner or in front of a sold-out stadium crowd, the Globetrotters are always ready to play ball! -- #4 - Haberdash ^TMG 02:13, 28 April 2008 (BST)
• I'm ready to give 220% for the mighty Malton Globetrotters. LET'S GET IT ON!!!--#42 - Shambles_Rottengut ^TMG
• Puttin' in my 10 bux to get this game going! --#10 - MONEY ^TMG 04:17, 28 April 2008 (BST)
• Even though I was traded to the Monroeville Redskins I will still come back for exhibition games!--דקק#99 04:55, 28 April 2008 (BST)
• Sick of the DNA Scanning Grind, I'm signing a three season deal with Globetrotters. Watch out Malton! -- #66½ - Doctor Nick ^TMG 05:16, 28 April 2008 (BST)
• Fuck yeah, my favorite team! I AM SNACKING STRONG! - Rotting TRex 16:08, 24 June 2008 (BST)

Now you can wear your pride like a scarlet letter badge and show the world you support the 'trotters with this handy flagbox:

	MURDERBALL!!!
	The Malton Globetrotters has caught Murderball fever and is currently contagious.

Enjoy, or else. --#63 - NGE^TMG 13:06, 28 April 2008 (BST)

IRS

This is the home of the THE SPICY SWEET CHILI DORITO'S IRS/Globetrotters Non-Aggression Pact. (Sponsored by Old Spice) -- #34 - robotsinmyhead ^TMG Team Captain

Sponsors

I've been talking to reps from Red Bull and Ford. I told them "Add a 1 and two zeros to that offer and get back to me." Anyone else negotiating new sponsors? - RED BULL GIVES YOU WINGS! ^TM --דקק #99 05:02, 28 April 2008 (BST)

I just wanted to let you all in on some very exciting news. After some tough negotiations (can you guys say 15% Off Sizzler coupons?!), I secured a sponsorship with Old Spice. Old Spice, with Clinically Proven Odor and Wetness Protection, will help keep us strong on the court without smelling strong. Whether it's the big game, or after hours trying to score some 'post-RP wedding Bride's Maid' poonani, Old Spice will be there to knee odor in the groin and kick sand its smelly face while laughing derisively. Take that odor. -- #34 - robotsinmyhead ^TMG Team Captain

Good news Globetrotters fans! DrPain has secured for us an EXCLUSIVE sponsorship from Drano(TM)! No matter how much bacon grease has built up in your sink, or how full of hair your shower's drain is, you can be guaranteed that Drano(TM) will knock it out just like the 'trotters going for that all important murderdown! #42 - Shambles_Rottengut ^TMG

Community Pages

The League: Follow your favorite team in the [league here!]

Another [Roster]

[Schedule]

The VZW Salutes You!

Congratulations on making Malton's first Human/Zombie wedding a very exciting event indeed. Its not everyday you get to watch a Muderball game up close! Thanks for the front row seats, and each member of your team that showed up is entitled to a special wedding reception template. --Shazzelim 22:16, 30 April 2008 (BST)

	I was there!!!
	This user attended the first Human to Zombie wedding between Morg and Feely at St. Ethelbert's Church on 04/29/08

• No, thank you! That was truly a special day for us. Glad we could lend some excitement! --#63 - NGE^TMG 00:14, 1 May 2008 (BST)
• We want to thank God and white Jesus for this victory! You guys are awesome, Man! Thanks! They will be sent the game winning shotgun shell casing. RED BULL GIVES YOU WINGS^tm--דקק#99 02:29, 1 May 2008 (BST)
• Apologies to gonnascoutyougud for his second serving. Our intent was to only tag people once each. If he needs a revive, let us know and someone will come take care of it ASAP. --Shazzelim 13:11, 7 May 2008 (BST)
  • Also, I was wondering what criteria there is to join the league with our own team and what the rules are. --Shazzelim 13:11, 7 May 2008 (BST)
    • The league is open to anyone who can field a team of 2^{^x} players. The rules are as follows:
      • General
        • Do not talk about Murderball
        • Nevermind, Murderball's a public sport!
        • There is a penalty for showing up without proper padding
        • If you can wield a sharp stick, you can play Murderball
        • Do you have stairs in your house?
          • If yes: GET OUT
          • If no: GET OUT
      • Offensive Teams
        • Two Murderplays in a Murderdown
        • Six Murderdowns in a Murderquarter
        • Twenty three Murderseconds in a Murderminute
        • FUCK YOUR METRIC SYSTEM
        • It's offensive teams, you trash talk or you're outta the game
        • Tight end must be checked by a licensed physician before every game
      • Defensive Teams
        • Shut up and take it like a man
      • Special Teams
        • You're not special; your mother lied to you
        • The kicker is special though, we've got the papers to prove it
      • Exhibition Games
        • Every 3rd Thursday you must play naked. (Padding OK)
      • Special Leagues
        • Are full of retards - Laugh at them!
      • Murderball is filmed before a live studio audience.
      • Murderball Games may be televised. Please refrain from scratching yourself in public unless you are on camera.

Hope this clears things up for you!* --#63 - NGE^TMG 23:04, 7 May 2008 (BST) ^{*Rules and regulations are subject to the whim of the Murderball coaches board, the Murderball League of Gentlemen, and a single African butterfly.}

• If you think that you can play in the same league with us, you're sorely mistaken, WE HAVE THEM DOPE BEATS!
  --#19 - DrPain ^TMG 23:27, 8 May 2008 (BST)
  • Aww shit that's my JAM right there! I am fucking AMPED NOW! #34 - robotsinmyhead ^TMG Team Captain

PK'd (a.k.a. DRAMADRAMADRAMADRAMADRAMA(lol niggers)DRAMADRAMADRAMADRAMADRAMA)

Just wanted to let you know I was PK'd by a member of your organization. http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e89/Rogue8105/ouch.jpg http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e89/Rogue8105/ouch2.jpg Thanks for your time --BoSS 10:36, 13 May 2008 (EST)

You're welcome! But don't forget to thank our sponsors. The Globetrotters exhibition games are bringing excitement to every corner of Malton. Have you caught the fever? #31 - TastyNougat ^TMG 17:47, 14 May 2008 (BST)

I was under the impression that you only killed individuals participating in one of your exhibitions. What have I missed? BoSS

Take a lap, nancy! #34 - robotsinmyhead ^TMG Team Captain

Hey, not complaining about the PK, but necrobama's description is really offensive. There's a way to be funny without the epithets. -- DJ Frank 18:22, 17 May 2008 (EST)

It's okay, he's black. --#19 - DrPain ^TMG 02:03, 20 May 2008 (BST)

That doesn't mean anything to me, and I'm black, too. It's still offensive. -- DJ Frank 14:59, 22 May 2008 (EST)

Maybe you shouldn't be so uptight? Words in and of themselves have no intrinsic value, brah. --#19 - DrPain ^TMG 00:16, 23 May 2008 (BST)

It's a really weak argument when you have to suggest that someone not be offended by an offense. Words absolutely do have intrinsic value, which is why whenever I see, hear, or am called the "n" word, I am offended. When you put language out there, you have to own both your intention and impact. You may not have intended any harm, but the impact of the language on others did indeed inflict harm. Centuries of prejudice and subjugation cannot be erased simply by pretending there is no history there. I don't care about what the profile is trying to say in making a joke about someone not wanting to borrow a black guy's cigar because he's black. I have a problem with it because the adjective used to describe the black guy is a slur. -- DJ Frank 21:10, 22 May 2008 (EST)

Send us the medical bill for the harm and we will reimburse you. --#10 - MONEY ^TMG 04:22, 23 May 2008 (BST)

Words have no intrinsic value because different people react differently to the same word. Simply because YOU decide that a word is offensive TO YOU does not allow you to assume that society at large should feel the same, and to make such assumptions is arrogant. Also, the only part that you find offensive is the choice of language, and not the racial stereotypes being perpetuated by that language? So if the profile read "all black people smoke weed and have enormous lips" then you wouldn't be offended? I think you need to re-evaluate your position, chief. --#19 - DrPain ^TMG 04:29, 23 May 2008 (BST)

yeah like we should totally throw out all the rule of law...I mean they're only written using WORDS. How can we possibly make laws that affect everyone when words have no value or meaning. There's no way you or I can come to an agreement on the words being used in these laws. Same goes for the bible...heck why am I even writing words here now...you prolly think I'm talking about shoes or something cause there's just no way to make sure words carry real meaning. Everything is subjective...weeee!--Kristi of the Dead 04:49, 23 May 2008 (BST)

Laws must be interpreted by Judges and lawyers, so I really don't see your point. I'll even give you an example: The Sherman Anti-Trust act declared illegal "any conspiracy in restraint of trade". Guess what corporate lawyers did? They convicted union bosses for going on strike because that was a "conspiracy" and the strike "restrained trade".--#19 - DrPain ^TMG 04:55, 23 May 2008 (BST)

police don't interpret the law when they arrest you for breaking it? The FBI doesn't interpret the law when they say it's legal to tap your phone lines? Congress doesn't interpret the law when they make them? The City council doesn't interpret laws when they issue zoning ordinance? How about the police when they serve a warrant? But as a rule there are millions and millions of laws that are interpreted just fine everyday without a judge.Judges interpret the law when two people have a disagreement about what the law means. The exception does not prove the rule. Hey while we're at it why don't you go look up the words Decency act and see what comes up. Looks like there's an aweful lot people who dissagree with you about being offended and it appears they've even agreed on standards...in most cities and states.--Kristi of the Dead 05:01, 23 May 2008 (BST)

You've got me all confused with those sentences ending in question marks, but I'll try to respond. First off, being arrested and being convicted are two totally different things. Being arrested is not the same as being guilty of a crime. To be found guilty a Judge and Jury must interpret the written law and apply it to the specific case. Police officers are often found guilty of false arrest if the person they arrested is found not guilty. Emphasis on FOUND guilty. FOUND through INTERPRETATION by a judge and jury. The FBI requires a Judge's permission to set up a wire tap, so technically you are correct, because the Judge does the interpreting not the FBI. About Congress, it is not the place of the legislative branch to interpret laws, as that responsibility lies on the judicial branch. Guess what kind of people sit on the judicial branch? Judges. Nice try though, slugger. Brush up on your poly sci 101 before you try to argue with me again. My point is not that words do not have definitions, rather that the connotations assigned to each specific word cannot be defined, because it depends on who you ask. Therefore, if you find a word offensive then it is your own opinion of that word and not necessarily anybody else's. Least of all mine, and I don't have time to pander to everybody.--#19 - DrPain ^TMG 05:19, 23 May 2008 (BST)

You missed the point, slugger. Everyday thousands of laws are interpreted by people like you and me. I interpret statutes for the state of Alaska...me...alone...I read the law and apply it to people on a daily basis. Sometimes I even impose fines. All this is from READING CLEARLY DEFINED WORDS set as law. Without a judge. You clearly don't understand how city and state government works. Shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart turd and twat...try saying those on good morning america and see who get's fined by the FCC. Based on Laws written with words that are subjective. hell if I say I'm beating a black man because he eats watermelon they'll hit me with a hate crime. I don't think you're understanding what you're trying to say. Yes it's fine for him to write whatever he wants in his profile but there is a general community of people that view that sort of thing as offensive. And it is. Just because you want everything to be subjective so you can feel A ok about it is what's funny because clearly the real world disagrees with you.--Kristi of the Dead 05:31, 23 May 2008 (BST)

Are those words clear? Are you a qualified legal expert? If you aren't then I would take your armchair interpretation with a grain of salt. It is you who is missing points. The definition of a word or phrase does not affect how people will interpret it. "God damn you" might be considered offensive, but not when used in the context of "God damn you lost some weight?" We're talking intrinsic value here, not textbook definitions. --#19 - DrPain ^TMG 05:44, 23 May 2008 (BST)

no not a legal expert, but I can read. You might take them as a grain of salt but the state of Alaska has given me the power to levee fines up to and including 1 million dollars on corporations Fishing in Alaska. In fact if they don't meet the requirements set up by the LAW which I READ then I can prohibit them from gaining a fishing license (no more most dangerous catch). And ya know what? If they have a problem with it they can't go to a judge...they face a board made up of people like me who aren't lawyers and whose only ability in law seems to be the fact that we can all read. And don't think this just happens in Alaska. I did the same job in Oregon and California as well. In fact most departments are run this way DHSS, DOR, all the major ones run this way. The fact is the Federal Government as well as State Government and local authorities routinely use words to establish what is acceptable and what is not. And as such words do have intrinsic value the flippin world runs on the intrinsic value of words. I mean go and say the holocaust didn't happen in Germany and see what they do to you there. Every culture every city and every country has a clearly set view of what is appropriate for them. And yes you sure can be held accountable for what you say and that's really the point isn't it? You're trying to say you can't hold someone accountable for what they say when the fact is you can.--Kristi of the Dead 05:58, 23 May 2008 (BST)

Your job is all well and good, but I remain unconvinced that you have any idea what the hell you're talking about.--#19 - DrPain ^TMG 06:30, 23 May 2008 (BST)

prolly cause I'm using words to back up my argument we all know how there's no intrinsic value there. Thanks for chatting with me anyway slugger.--Kristi of the Dead 06:36, 23 May 2008 (BST)

More like your notion that social conventions dictate the intrinsic value of language. Because we all know that social conventions are constant (they aren't). Your inability to master basic components of language like capitalization and sentence structure aren't helping you in a discussion over applications of language value either. You may be able to read, but writing obviously isn't your strong suit.--#19 - DrPain ^TMG 07:27, 23 May 2008 (BST)

And juSt when I thoughT I'd get out of this without an insult. You're the coolest drpain. And by coolest I mean douche. But hey don't take it too personally it appears you can't be trusted to know what any given words meaning is. And the rule of law is not a social convention retard.--Kristi of the Dead 08:25, 23 May 2008 (BST)

I HAVE FINED THE BIG MEN, I CAN FINE YOU TOO. WATCH OUT WIKI WARRIOR I AM COMING FOR YOU. --#10 - MONEY ^TMG 07:41, 23 May 2008 (BST)

No no it's "I have kicked your mother in the cunt...and I can do the same for you wiki warrior.--Kristi of the Dead 08:27, 23 May 2008 (BST)

This shit sucks you fags. -- #34 - robotsinmyhead ^TMG Team Captain

Don't you understand? This is serious business! SOMEONE was OFFENDED on the INTERNET --#63 - NGE^TMG 15:03, 23 May 2008 (BST)

But that's not what the profile says. The profile is not generalizing and stereotyping an entire group of people, it is highlighting the characteristics of one specific person, who is black. So no, if the "n" word was taken out of the profile, I wouldn't be offended by what it says. Hell, I might even agree with you that it's funny. But the epithet removes all humor for me. And thanks, Kristi. -- DJ Frank 13:57, 23 May 2008 (EST)

File:Sparkle.gif
_{this should clear things up}

Shit from a faggot --#19 - DrPain ^TMG 20:08, 23 May 2008 (BST)

Lol niggers. -- LABIA on the INTERNET ^{Dunell Hills Corpseman} #24 - |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| ^TMG 11:29, 28 May 2008 (BST)

Hi

Orphaned Page

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• The Malton Globetrotters/roster

• The Malton Globetrotters/schedule

• The Malton Globetrotters/teams

Thanks --Rosslessness^{Want a Location Image?} 17:43, 4 October 2009 (BST)

MANDOZER POST

You are welcome!-- ►アー・ヒュージ・ゲイピング・バジャイナ◄ ^{スナック ストロング} 10:12, 18 April 2011 (BST)

I AM VERY DISAPPOINTED

You tagged us in murderball and have yet to produce any reputable templatable evidence. I look forward to receiving exactly one (1) template on our groups page in no less than twelve (12) months. Good day sir. --Ash  ^{|  T  |  яя  |} 12:34, 28 April 2011 (BST)

As Red Rum's legal representative, I concur with my client. Murder doesn't count unless you have a template to prove it. We want shiny templates. --Karloth Vois ^¯\(°_o)/¯ 13:42, 28 April 2011 (BST)

There is only one true template on the wiki and that is WIKI LAW. Everything else is just a pretender with the exception of everything here and on the Dead's pages. --Laughing Man 22:35, 28 April 2011 (BST)

We can give you spam bots if you want.--Deadone 02:05, 29 April 2011 (BST)

	AbLooBLooBLoo
	Notice: This User needs to Deal With it.

good enough?~ --عبد الريحم بن حسين بن عبد الرحمن العراقي المصري‎ 09:32, 29 April 2011 (BST)

Please read this asap

Screw the Dead —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Mayor MC Cheese (talk • contribs) 00:15, June 2, 2011.

you do know that the Globetrotters are the dead's PKer group right? fucking mongtard.--User:Sexualharrison05:52, 2 June 2011 (bst)

Sweet Revenge

I just wanted to share the glory of my recent killing of LabDrunk. Revenge is so much sweeter when it occurs months later and on the other side of a city, and you spent 2 days searching for a generator and fuel to light up the dark building your target was hiding in. Glory. That is all. -- Squidward 01:04, 11 June 2012 (EDT)

Destruction is coming.

A member of your organization (if you call it that) recently killed a member of Creedy Guerrilla Raiders (me). I assure you that it is not taken lightly and every single member of your group will be killed on site by all members of the CGR. We will not on most occasions hunt you, so hid if you feel the desire to, but I assure you, you will most likely be wiped out. Enjoy your days because, they are numbered. -- •הבוס• ♥ ^CGR 00:11, 5 September 2012 (BST)