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Hello. You found my userpage. Want a medal?
My apologies in advance if the alts' pages are incomplete. I will try to complete them. EVENTUALLY.
“"Wiki stealing is a sport. And it's best to steal from the stealers!"”
~ Oscar Wilde on Stealing Wiki Code.
“"POLECAT!"”
~ Oscar Wilde on P02 Samuel.
Welcome to my page!
You stumble upon the wiki of a civilian policeman, who is currently based in Wyke Hills, in St. Celestine's Church. There is a note on his cassock. "self-proclaimed pastor of St. Celestine's"
In real life...
- A Filipino
- 16 years old
- Just a mere college student
- A Christian
- Russians rock. I mean seriously.
Back Story
It seemed only like yesterday that he left the Philippines (he's mad at the corruption back home) to join the fray. He has killed his share of zombies, and is usually found in Wyke Hills, West Grayside or any of its nearby suburbs. He believes that ZOMBIES ARE EVIL and that it is his duty to kill them, if only to guard his Church.
A note. P02 is a Philippine police rank. It has the equivalent rank of Police Sergeant in the MPD.
If the CoTR try to get into my church, I'M READY! P02 Samuel 12:35, 13 August 2007 (BST)
Is it me or is DORIS run like Jonestown? They even have the same flag!
GRAB MAH MANBAGZ, ZAMBAHZ!
Equipment
- Sig Sauer pistol (to shoot anyone unworthy of his attention)
- 10-gauge shotgun (to blow the zombies away)
- First Aid Kits (never know who needs them)
- Bible (He took it from the church)
- A Brief History of St. Celestine's Church (a book, some of its contents can be found in the page for St. Celestine's Church (Wyke Hills))
- Knife (perfect for knife kills)
- Radio (to be informed on latest news)
How would you recognize him?
He would be wearing a police uniform, spraypainted at the back of the jacket with the initials of the people who mean a great deal to him. S.C. , R.U., M. de M., M.G.D., J.C. etc.
Most likely he will be also wearing a cassock over it, to show that he indeed is a deacon.
Where is he now?
He is at either of two places: Duty with the Polecats at Pole Mall or resting at St. Celestine's in Wyke Hills.
Affiliations
He used to be a member of FOFST. He resigned due to the stresses of the job. Subsequently, the group died out. Right now he is a freelancer with the Polecats. He says it's to get free passes to Pole Mall.
Hey, they just made him chaplain!
His missions:
Kill Constance Absolution.
Kill zombies.
Protect his church.
Kill Constance Absolution again if he gets revived.
Make sure no "Church" of the Resurrection gets into his church.
Protect Pole and Buckley Malls. But not both at the same time.
P02 Samuel's Urban Dead Creed
I believe in Jesus Christ, not Zombie Jesus.
Zombie Jesus is a fraud. Hear me?
ZOMBIE JESUS IS A FRAUD WHO WILL GO TO HELL!
I believe in the Sacred Ground Policy, the holy Maltonite church,
the communion of saints (free wine at st. celestine's!),
the forgiveness of sins (as long as you dont PK),
the resurrection of the body (through Revivication),
and life everlasting (as long as you aint infected.).
Amen!
St. Celestine's High Communion
In kiZombie:
- Brazzaz, zazzaz -- HARRMANZ!
- mah bargar rabrazzant G-zaz raaar Gargazz
- ...zambah nah barg G-zaz raaar Gargazz!
- mah b!r rabrazzant G-Zaz raaar Braag!
- ...zambah nah abzarb G-Zaz raaar braag ahn zah grahzz!
- Aman!
- G-zaz nah amarh zambahz –
- G-zaz amarh harmanz!
- G-zaz gab braag -- to harmanz, nah zambahz!
- G-zaz am Rahzrrragz-an! Nah Zambah G-Zaz, Raaaar G-Zaz!
- Mrh Man !z zah Rah-Bahbarrr!
- Aman, harmanz, aman.
In English:
- Brothers, sisters -- HUMANS!
- This bread (lit. burger) I hold represents the Original (lit. Real) Flesh...
- ...which Jesus sacrificed for us and no zombie can ever hope to eat!
- This wine (lit. beer) I hold represents the Original Blood spilled on the cross...
- ...which spilled out of Jesus on the cross and which no zombie can ever hope to drink!
- Amen!
- Jesus doesn't love (lit. Amor) zombies --
- Jesus loves HUMANS!
- Jesus gave his Blood -- to HUMANS, not zombies!
- Jesus is the Resurrection! Not Zombie Jesus, Real Jesus!
- NecroTech is the Revival!
- Amen, fellow humans, amen.
(adapted from the CoTR sermon
here and mercilessly parodied.)
Sam's View on PKing
PKers
I am singing to you
Soft as a man with a dead child speaks;
Hard as a man in handcuffs,
Held where he cannot move:
Under the sun
Are sixteen million men,
Chosen for high levels,
Sharp eyes, good guns,
And a running of young warm blood in their wrists.
And a red rum runs on the green grass;
And a red rum soaks the dark soil.
And the sixteen million are PKing. . . and PKing
and PKing.
I never forget them day or night:
They shoot on my head for memory of them;
They pound on my doorstep and I cry back to them,
To their mobs and infections, healing and revival!
I wake in the night and smell the trenchcoats,
And hear the low stir of shamblers in lines
Sixteen million shamblers and zombies' spies in the dark:
Some of them long shamblers for always,
Some of them tumbling to sleep tomorrow for always,
Fixed in the drag of the world's heartbreak,
Eating and drinking, toiling. . . on a long job of PKing.
Sixteen million men.
PKers, based on "Killers", a poem by Carl Sandburgh.
Oversized Templates
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PK Reporting
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| This User or Group supports PK Reporting. Don't let Player Killers get away with murder. Report them on the Rogues Gallery.
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Channel 4 News Team Affiliate
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| This user or group entered Glorious Battle beside the Channel 4 News Team. There were horses and a man on fire and this user or group killed a guy with a trident. Afterward, we could barely lift our arms because we killed so many zombies. I don't know if you heard us counting. We killed over 1,000.
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המוסד למודיעין ולתפקידים מיוחדים
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| Only God knows everything, and he works for Mossad.
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Firing Squad
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| This user wishes the CoTR a quick death. Or undeath. If only he had headshots..
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Mario is Stalin?
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| This User thinks that the famous plumber might not really be some random italian, but Comrade Stalin himself!
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Red Army Choir
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| This User or Group believes the Red Army totally knew how to rock the world, and all modern bands are wannabe sissies. Kalinka, my love, come back to me!
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War On Sheep
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| This user or group is sick of survivors acting like lame sheep. Zombies are supposed to be the herd creatures, not the living!
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Reward!
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| This user or group will give a medal to anyone who gets Real Gamer banned.
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Tusken Raider
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| WOOT SNORT ALLAH ACKBAR!!
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mudkipz
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| so i herd u liek mudkipz?
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The Malton Mafia
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This User or Group is respected by The Malton Mafia.
They have the support of the Families.
Don't cross them.
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This is how he wants to see St. Celestine's.
You are inside St. Celestine's Church. Two statues of its early pastors decorate the walls. The building has been very heavily barricaded.
A generator has been set up here. It is running.
Somebody has spraypainted St. Celestine's: 100 years of Christian service. Services every Sunday at 3:00 PM onto a wall.
Since your last turn:
- A zombie takes communion. (5 minutes ago)
- Mickey the Idiot revived the zombie with a NecroTech syringe. (10 seconds ago)
- El Rabioso says "I repent from my zombie ways!" (2 seconds ago)
Look guys, I have awards!
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Magatsus gift!
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| Ye gave me a new companion to sit on me shoulder, yarrr! Sake for you!
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