Mayor of Malton/2010
Malton has always had a rich and colourful history. In 1912, a Great Fire swept the city. In 2005, the city was over-run by zombies. But in 2007, the city chose to elect a new mayor to preside over the madness. That mayor was Murbulskond. For a time, Murbulskond ruled justly and impartially as Mayor. However, such a time of peace is over. And now, in their darkest hour, the people of Malton have decided to elect a new mayor. And so begins the Mayoral race of 2010...
Candidates
The Major Parties
The Zombiecratic Party (Incumbent)
- The Zombiecratic Party has yet to name a candidate, possibly pending some form of caucus or perhaps creative Frankenstein-style surgery a-la Mayor Murbulskond. Zombies, please consult your local hive mind for details.This message authorised by Rite Rev'd Revenant. (Not actually a real priest.)
The Barhah Party
Jorm
I'm the baddest ass, most feared fucker in all of Malton.
That's why I am mayor. Even if you don't vote for me.
The Humanative Party
Misanthropy
|
Running mate: Revenant A bullet in every face. A knife in every back. A pinata in every building. If elected, I shall rule through fear, and with an iron fist. Justice will be swift and brutal. Generators will be a thing of the past, and barricades shall serve only as weapons of oppression. The sky shall be a glorious black, the horizon an unreachable haven. I shall reach out diplomatically to our zombie opponents, and hand-in-hand, we shall reach a new future of nightmare desolation. Mankind under my rule shall be obliterated, outlawed, and possibly sued. A vote for Misanthropy, is a vote for misanthropy.  |
The Minor Parties
The Example Party
Running Mate: Mr Suggestor
Running Mate (With Corporeal Form): 
Thadeous Oakley
Ladies and Gentlemen, do you ever feel like the parties are just bland statements? No? Well then, how would you like to support a party so bland that it is simply the "Example Party". If elected as mayor, Yonnua Koponen would conduct full and absolute Mime Searches to arrest any renegade mimes. Donkeys would become the new patron animal of Malton, and would be filled in to every orifice. Yes, even THAT orifice. Also, all orphans would be given unto the void to fill it with victory and win. If you want to help in our new movement, please sign up at our recruitment counter. Also pudding. And how many other candidates can say that? Pudding. Just think about that for a moment.
Think Pudding. Think Koponen.
--Yonnua Koponen Talk ! Contribs 19:25, 2 June 2010 (BST)
The Voter Apathy Party
|
 I've heard people say voting Apathy is a bad choice, that it could lead to "Anarchy." I don't really care.
|
The Maltonian Separatist Party
Survivors, zombies, murderers, donkeys, comrades - Today is the day that things change. Today is the day we become what we should have become a long time ago. Today, we become free!
For too long, Malton have been left at the mercy of those who no longer care. The Glorious City has for years been the subjects of an unjust master and a feral pack of clowns. No longer! Malton has been abandoned by its liege. What help have we received? How long was it since the last crate of supplies was dropped? Have the UK, the EU or the UN done even the slightest to help us? No! We have been left alone in the dirt, shunned and stopped from entering a world which no longer wants us around. We deserve better than this!
We must do something about this - Nobody else will! Therefore, I will if elected proclaim Malton an independent, sovereign state - Free of outside oppression and hostile influence. We shall from then and into eternity be known as the Democratic People's Republic of Malton, led by myself. There will be no relations with other states, there will be no representatives in the UN or EU, there will be no foreign embassies on the soil of the Glorious City - It shall be we who blocks of the outside world, not the other way around.
For the Glorious City, for freedom, for the motherland and the Dear Leader. Oidar 11:57, 3 June 2010 (BST)
The Great Blob Party
Campaign Manager: Dr summeroff
"He's already been a savior, a god, a judge and a jury...why not add Mayor to his vast array of titles? Who better than the gelatinous master to rule over Malton's diverse population base?" The great Chilean Blob of 2003, the great gelatinous master rules the sea. But this is not enough! He wants to look after your lives directly, he wants to hold you all in his embrace.
The Great Blob will hold the tide and stop the great flood from destroying our beloved city, he will protect you, the people of Malton from the other great creatures of the sea who wish nothing more than to devour your souls.
The good Doctor Summeroff will be here to make sure that every will of the Great One is put in place, he will be the great One's voice and it's hand.
Voting for the Great One will ensure the protection of this city.
--
TCAPD(╯°□°)╯ ┻━┻ 12:55, 3 June 2010 (BST)
The Green Peace Party
Help me do absolutely nothing. Well... maybe the legalization of weed--
Arthur Dent BIN LADEN IS DEAD!!!!! 12:59, 3 June 2010 (BST)
The Thermonuclear Party
Do you have problems with zombies? Gigantic hordes of 'em all over the place? Well, that wimpy shotgun you're holding won't do anything to help--what we need are the big guns! If you elect me as mayor of your fine city, I will gladly introduce legalization of ICBMs within Malton town limits. Just imagine--Ridleybank going up in a puff of smoke! Even better, all the radiation and heat destroys most bodies, rendering the return from undeath even more cumbersome. All you Escapists will finally be able to leave Malton--the Border guards don't have the ability to shoot down missiles, now do they? This wonderful opportunity isn't just a pro-survivor benefit: all you zombie spies and pking types will have a weapon that until now, you could only dream of. It's like the Tommy Gun, only a thousand times better! Isn't this the spirit of Malton, getting the most experience for your action points with the biggest weapons available? Vote now!
I'm Sam 2334, and I approve this message.
--Sam 2334 21:51, 3 June 2010 (BST)
The "Hell Yeah, it's the 80's" Party
Cobra would like to announce their candidate for the mayorship. Vote Sage Carr for a wave of 80's haircuts, power jackets and vicious slaughter against GI Joe, and wanton destruction of all GI Joe related merchandise.
In all seriousness though, the 80's are back in a big way, so vote for the only party who will bring the true spirit of the 80's back to Malton! If you elect me, I promise to hold a city-wide 80's themed party - and for all the Pker's out there, I promise to hold a city-wide PKer event!
Hail Cobra! May death come quickly to her enemies!
