Malton Murder Awards 2009

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Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the 2009 edition of the Malton Murder Awards! The awards this year are brought to you by the delightful Kelly Underwood, the dashing Misanthropy, and the fine folks at Red Rum. As always, the Malties are set to be a star-studded event, celebrating the very best in sheer carnage, murder, and making-folk-not-be-alive-no-more! Without further ado, let's get down to business - the award categories!

MMA.JPG Malton Murder Award Winner, 2009
The contributions of this user or group to the PKing industry were honoured with an award at the Malton Murder Awards 2009.
MMA.JPG Malton Murder Award Nominee, 2009
This user or group has been nominated in a category at the Malton Murder Awards 2009.

Individual Awards

The following categories honour individual players for their sparkling work in keeping Malton's population down. Bear in mind, now, that no individual can win an award which they won in the last ceremony, so don't go wasting your votes, now, people.

Lifetime Achievement

While lifetime might not always be the most appropriate term, this award will honour a PKer whose career in murder has stretched back further, and shone brighter, than any other.

Winner: Hibernaculum

Most Notorious

This award will go to someone whose very name brings with it connotations of murder, and whose reputation is, without doubt, faultless in the fear it inspires in others.

Winner: Pathetic Bill

Best Single Attack/ Kill

For those moments of artistic genius, when a kill becomes something more beautiful and elegant than just shooting some bastard, this award serves to highlight those rare instances of glorious artist merit.

Winner: Athair Bas vs Ottari

Grooviest/ Wittiest PKer

This award is for those whose banter, wit, humour and demeanour, in-game and out, is several cuts about the rest; someone whose very presence exudes class, wit, and the fun for which we all strive.

Winner: Zombie in Pajamas

Best Target (Individual)

Perhaps not the most coveted of awards, this category is to commemorate those who have taken time and care in painting the nicest target on their chests.

Winner: Dhavid Grohl

Best Newcomer

Out of the gates and onto the pitch, this award will honour one of those up-and-coming types who have made a suitable splash since joining the game within the last 18 months.

Winner: Misanthropy

Best Bounty Hunter

This award is for those niche players determined to murder the murderers, and will be given to one whose contributions are so worthy that it is indeed an honour to be killed by them.

Winner: Three-way tie - Josh Clark, Ciscokitty & Saint Gambi

Services to The Industry

This award honours the individual whose contributions to the industry, whatever form they may take, have surpassed those of any other.

Winner: Award declined
Runner up: Headless gunner

Best Dressed

Stay classy, ladies and gentlemen. Stay classy. And the winner of this award will be just the one to show you how it's done.

Winner: Duke D'œuvre

Best Roleplay

This award will be given to the individual who plays a character the best, and whose roleplaying is impeccable. Bonus points may be awarded for teaching me to spell that word right.

Winner: Matt Aries

Chief of Mischief

This award honours the sheer dedications its recipient has given to disrupting the lives, workings, and operations of Malton in general, or groups and areas in particular.

Winner: Psychotic Pantomime

Best Comedy Value

While we all love breaking various bones, some of us are quite adept at ticking the funny one - and this award is for the cream of their crop.

Winner: Matt Aries

Most Improved

When they said 'better luck next time', this is what they were looking forward to. This award is for the individual who has shown the most improvement in the past eighteen months.

Winner: Blanemcc

Best Death Cultist

This award honours the best individual effort to benefit the undead cause, from the living side. We're all going to bite the bullet some day, but the winner of this award has planned ahead.

Winner: Psychotic Pantomime

Group Awards

These categories are to honour groups for the contributions to this fine industry. Again, no group can have back-to-back wins of any single award, so remember to keep abreast of current happenings!

Most Notorious Group

This award honours the group whose reputation proceeds them for miles in every direction, whose actions speak for themselves, and who inspire awe and terror with their very mention.

Winner: Red Rum

Best Death Cult

Because the best bra!nz are flavoured with lead, this award honours the group whose contributions to death culting outshine those of any other.

Winner: Gore Corps

Best Group

The best of the best, the top of the mountain, cream of the crop, the list of metaphors - this award is for the group whose contributions outweigh those of their competition.

Winner: Legends of Darkness

Best Target (Group)

Because the best war is a group war, this award commemorates the group whose lives are the most obviously on the line, day in and day out.

Winner: The Saints

Best Newcomer

This award will go to the group who, in the past eighteen months, have hit the ground running, and made the biggest impact since their inception.

Winner: RDD

Grooviest Group

This award honours the group for whom fun is a priority, whose attitudes are laid-back and whose members are the grooviest, coolest cats on the planet, man.

Winner: Legends of Darkness

Best Event

This award does not technically go to a group, but is awarded for a group effort - it commemorates the most memorable event of the past 18 months, be it a one-time strike or an extended happening.

Winner: Samhain Slaughter 3

Awards for Ineptitude

The following awards aren't really anything to brag about. But when you think about it, last place is first loser.

Most Inept (Individual)

This 'award' will be given to the individual PKer who has proven themselves to be the most clueless, useless and overall shite at what they do.

Winner: Blanemcc

Most Inept (Group)

This dubious honour will be meted out the group whose bumbling oafishness and running-in-circles attitude have earned it the most. Or... the least. Whichever works.

Winner: Dawn Patrol

Most Inept (Bounty Hunter)

This award celebrates the 'achievements' of everyone's least favourite bounty hunter (or, I guess, most favourite, if you're a fan of staying alive). You hang in there, chief. Your time might come.

Winner: sdguo

Thank you, and Good Night

Thank you everyone, for your votes, and congratulations to all our winners. For those who missed the broadcast on the night, a full transcript of the award ceremony itself can be found here, courtesy of Sattano.

Many thanks to CORAM for their aid in hosting the event. Remember to join us next time, for the 2010 awards!