Lesbian Pirates

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Lesbian Pirates
Abbreviation: None
Group Numbers: You'd be surprised!
Leadership: Led by a bottle
Goals: Beer, barfights and poetry.
Recruitment Policy: Survivors aged 18 or over.
Contact: Lesbian Pirates in-game or visit the forum.


One day a bunch of hardcore survivors got bored looking after their chosen suburbs. They contacted a few friends and came up with the idea of Pub Crawl 'n Brawl '08, a tour of the drinking dens of Malton with the aim of spreading laughter, booze, poetry and gasoline. The culprits, members of the DRRP and HARD, along with some unaffiliated friends, felt that a new touring group moniker was necessary. After 30 seconds of thought the Lesbian Pirates were born.

The 2008 Tour

Fort Creedy, Peppardville/Pitneybank (09th S3pt3mb3r 2008 - 13th S3pt3mb3r 2008)

The Pirates spend a totally focking kick-ass Trenchipendence Day at Fort Creedy!!1!three!$ This important day of awareness of Trenchy Rights is spent pointing out zombie spais and keeping the fort barricades high enough to let everyone load up their shotguns and ammo belts without being bugged by zombie losers. Lesbian Pirate Trenchcoaters keep the Fort population informed with radio and tagging campaigns and epic poetry. Also Marion finds an old fan and Anthor runs afoul of the Russian Mafia.

the Heginbothom Arms, Paynterton (04th September 2008 - 08th September 2008)

Paddy finds a new love who smells of goat. Clothing is procured for Trenchipendence Day; ninja-gangster-pirate-trenchcoaters abound. Haikus and poetry ensue.

Malton, strange city,

Where the living cannot live,

The dead are alive.

the Douch Arms, Dunningwood (26th August 2008 - 03rd September 2008)

A spanking machine is constructed. Marion blushes. Venison is procured, a fine barbecue cooked. A toilet-roll crisis ensues. Stuffed fish are molested; punishment is handed out. R33F3RM4N gets smoked.

the Knight Arms, Santlerville (19th August 2008 - 25th August 2008)

The Pirates tracks down some Dribbling Beaver in Santlerville. The inflatable pool gets filled with vodka jello; Strip Twister is played atop the wobbling mound. The tour gets a XXX rating.

the Carpendale Arms, Pimbank (14th August 2008 - 18th August 2008)

Dark and Stormy cocktails, Strip Twister and Drunken Pirate Kung Fu. How can you not love it?

the Whalen Arms, Ridleybank (06th August 2008 - 14th August 2008)

The dodgiest-looking pub on the tour so far. Not a single bottle of booze anywhere in sight. The pirates go down fighting.

the Thorne Arms, Shearbank (02nd August 2008 - 05th August 2008)

Does anyone recall what happened in this pub?

the Stapellton Arms, East Boundwood (25th July 2008 - 01st August 2008)

Bringing the love to the Penguin Mafia. Aside from a brief appearance by Kyle the Feared there was a serious lack of audience participation in singalongs, fights and poetry readings :(

the Beckey Arms, Yagoton (19th July 2008 - 24th July 2008)

Moved on by necessity, regrouping in Yagoton. Just what do people / zombies have against crossdressing pirates, hmm?

the Giffard Arms, Richmond Hills (13th July 2008 - 17th July 2008)

A very cosy little boozer. Attentive barstaff, karaoke, undead clawing at the doors...

the Powe Arms, East Becktown

the Limbery Arms, Havercroft

the Belsten Arms, Lerwill Heights

the Francois Arms, Greentown

the Noyce Arms, Kinch Heights

the Curtice Arms, Buttonville

The Pirates drink the Randoms under the table by cheating at Quarters, but the Randoms, upon regaining consciousness, get their revenge by eating all the Funyuns and hiding the TV remote control after switching the channel to a Vin Diesel marathon. After 20 minutes of The Pacifier, the Pirates throw themselves out of a window en masse.

the Witt Arms, Wyke Hills

Something happened here, but no one knows exactly what. God save the Pirates!

the Cleaves Arms, Hollomstown

The Pirates get HARD and start French kissing. Lil' Timmy, an 8-year-old with a potty mouth, declares his intention to join the Pirates. He is promptly eaten by a hungover Quinn Finney.

the Standfast Arms, Danversbank

The Lesbian Pirates are born, and in the best goddamn pub in the city of Malton, I might add. Suck it, nonbelievers!

Honourable Foes, Remembered Dead

The Feral Undead who brought much biting and clawing to the Pirates' sothern Malton excursion of November 2008. We salute you! And thanks for the graphic too ;)