Upper Left Corner/TULCK
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| Tidings • Trials of a Trenchcoat • History of the Trenchcoats • Relics and Symbols • Places of Pilgrimage • Acknowledgment | |||||||||||||
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Tidings
Trials of a TrenchcoatTo become a Knight you must face several terrible, horrifying, unimaginable trials of doom and must take the holy oath of a Trenchcoat. Trial One -The Belly of the Beast Stay one Night in the heart of Ridleybank (20AP), spraypaint something witty and stay alive to tell the tale! Trial Two -Drinks and Giraffe Porn Take a drink in the Younghusband Arms (53,82), order another one and then talk with some of the patrons on the bar, but you have to talk about… hmm giraffe porn, yeah giraffe porn. Trial Three -To the Ends of the World Go to the "Cinema at the End of the Universe" and watch the entire movie without popcorn and only with two drinks (choose wisely). Don’t forget a generator and some fuel. After that; travel to the terminus of Malton and buy a ticket for the 10 o’clock train to Timbuktoo and a pack of RedApple™ cigarettes. Trial Four -The Test of Spirit Search in the St Danilo's Church for a blessed kryptonite cross and take it. Afterwards visit the sacred Keane Museum and look for the holy relic; “the Skull of Keane” take it to Keane Boulevard Police Department and put it on the holy shrine and the fourth trial will be complete. Trial Five coming soon! now five trials for the price of four The Oath of a TrenchcoatI, (complete Holy Name, with Mystical Titles), Ordained Master of TULCK of the Upper Left Corner, with the Authority invested at me by the Great King Python, may he live forever, of It, The House of the TULC; Do herewith Require of Ye: 1) ARE YE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A SILLY PUTTY BALL OR SOMETHING? The Initiate answers: YES. 2) THAT'S TOO BAD. DO YE WISH TO BETTER THYSELF? The Initiate answers: YES. 3) HOW STUPID. ARE YE WILLING TO BECOME A TRENCHCOAT OF THE TULC KNIGHTS ? He answers: YES. 4) VERY FUNNY. WILL YE DEDICATE YESELF TO THE UPPER LEFT CORNER MOVEMENT? The Initiate answers: PROBABLY. So, Rise as a Knight of TULC, Defender of the high principles of ULCNESS! Take your Katana, take you sacred Trenchcoat and GET THE HELL OUT! I have a hangover! History of the TrenchcoatsFoundation I was on a pilgrimage and a vision quest to the sacred places, where they worship his royal highness, the great King Keane, may he live forever and a day, because my soul felt empty. I needed spiritual guidance and enlightenment; and my trench coat needed cleaning (they have good prices at a place I know in Shackleville). So I visited the Keane Museum, may it stand forever, and than it happened: You are in the Keane Museum currently displaying a selection of the great Kings of the past. The building doors have been left wide open. Also here are Ghost 1 (60HP), Ghost 2 (60HP), Ghost 3 (60HP), a Janitor (50HP) A portable generator has been set up here. It is running. There is a lone zombie here. Somebody has spraypainted Welcome Pilgrim! onto a wall. You say “WTF Zerg-fest or what?�? Ghost 1 said “No friend, zergs we are not, we’re here bound by our blood�? (04-05 12:31 BST) Ghost 2 said “So don’t fear, the truth you seek, you find it here!�? (04-05 12:31 BST) Ghost 3 said “Listen to what we’ll reveal, the wound of Malton you can heal�? (04-05 12:31 BST) You say “Rhyming Zergs! What did you want from me, Zergshow?�? Ghost 1 said “a Trenchcoat you are indeed, and it IS a Trenchcoat that we need�? (04-05 12:32 BST) Ghost 2 said “We are the Ghosts of Kings long past, listen, for our wisdom it is vast�? (04-05 12:32 BST) Ghost 3 said “Please address the ghosts in rhyme and all answers will be thine!�? (04-05 12:32 BST) Ghost 1 said “To your King a massage bring, for you are his royal underling!�? (04-05 12:33 BST) Trenchcoat killed a zombie (04-05 12:33 BST) You say “What have you said, I wasn’t listening. I was XP farming the zombie�? Ghost 2 said “Do it in RHYME you bloody muppet!�? (04-05 12:33 BST) You say “Chill, *to a janitor* can you believe this guys?�? a Janitor said “If you want to do this quick, you better serve their rhyming tick�? (04-05 12:34 BST) You say “WTFDX, you one of them?!?�? a Janitor said “of course I am!�? (04-05 12:34 BST) You say “OK, OK give me the message for the King, *hmm* dumdidumdi dingeling�? Ghost 3 said “Fair enough�? (04-05 12:34 BST) Ghost 1 said “An order of Trenchcoats form, you must, in our messenger place your trust, make him (that’s you, you muppet) the first of all our knights, so he’d bring to you the sacred rites, that belong to you since ancient times…�? (04-05 12:35 BST) Ghost 1 said “…the sentence long, but it still rhymes!�? (04-05 12:35 BST) You say “Let me think on what you said, it takes some time to get….*cough* it�? You say “I am on quest of vision, so I’ll do it, and that my decision! *thinks* HA that’s rhyme, in ya ghostface you freak�? You say “I shall call them TULCK, the Upper Left Corner Knights…�? Ghost 3 said “No you don’t, a name we’ve picked and you shall take it, or get you a$$ kicked!�? (04-05 12:36 BST) You say “bring it, Zerg!�? Trenchcoat killed Ghost 3 (04-05 12:36 BST) Trenchcoat killed Ghost 2 (04-05 12:37 BST) Ghost 1 said “TULCK it is! On your way now you must go, to bring the King the message, no? (04-05 12:37 BST) You say “Sure! Just one thing�? Trenchcoat killed Ghost 1 (04-05 12:37 BST) You say “Consider yourself lucky janitor, I’m a Knight now and done with the senseless killing�? A Janitor said “take this ancient book of *mumble* TULCK, with all the rites and rules of Knighthood…�? (04-05 12:38 BST) You say “you lern quick Janitor, but you didn’t find a descent rhyme on TULCK�? Trenchcoat killed a Janitor (04-05 12:38 BST) So, you heard the story of my enlightenment and the story of the founding of the TULCK the Upper Left Corner Knights. Relics and Symbols
Places of Pilgrimage
AcknowledgmentI stole the design of this page directly from Pillsy. | ||||||||||||
