The Imperium Must Die
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The Imperium Must Die is a PKer Coalition to grief the everliving shit out of The Imperium.
The Event
Why?
Because the Imperium are both gay and retarded, a feat accomplished by some but celebrated by none.
It all started with the Imperium making edits on the wiki claiming territory. But what really set people off was them talking in their Warhammer-speech. This pissed many off and resulted in said PKer Event getting started.
Who?
The event was started by Canderous Ordo, Secular Leader of the Sons of Pluto cult, DORIS. He was reading the wiki to get angry because he hasn't gotten an ulcer yet and felt like a pussy for not having one. So he came across Garviel Loken making shitty edits. Infuriated, he shouted, "Noobs?! On MY wiki?!" To which Labine50 responded, "It's more serious than you think." Canderous Ordo did what every reasonable and logical person would do, he killed a small child and then ate a puppy...whole.
I didn't ask who started it! I asked "Who?" is in it
Oh...sorry, Mr. Header. Fucking douchebag... Ah, yes! The following groups have joined the hunt of the Imperium:
- DORIS
- Philosophe Knights
- LUE
- Red Rum
- Various other PKers
So who the fuck isn't part of it?
Wiki faggotry and forum spying are the anti-lulz, and no amount of dinky little edits will get the NecroInquisition off our things to do list.
Where?
Gibsonton and pretty much every other place in the North East like DULLSton but primarily the former because the Imperium are there gaying it up.
When?
Now. But most should get there in time for April 29th, the day Grand Theft Auto IV is released. We are killing to coincide with the release date to prove that video games do not cause violence. Warhammer is also a game...kinda...so they should appreciate the idea.
How?
By killing every fucking Small child, that's how!
Also!
Max loves the cock. - This has been confirmed by Max himself.
Garviel is a vandalizing faggery daggery doodoo head.
Victory!
The Imperium have officially left Gibsonton because they're gay and retarded. Here they've admitted to leaving the suburb
"Dissolve our forces into the surronding suburbs" - Max890
"I agree the way to win is gurilla warfare. dissolve into the suburbs" - Delta 33
"We're thinking actually pulling back to Heytown temporarily, leave a skeleton crew to keep them busy" - Garviel Loken
"Let's disperse throughout the area and stay ready" - Garviel Loken
"Any who are not remaining as the volunteer force should be out of Gibsonton completely to ensure" - Garviel Loken
Ultimatum
Dear people of Gibsonton,
With the decrease in Imperium acitvity in the suburb and the increase in foreign fighters it has become difficult to find our targets since they hide in the surrounding suburbs. So we, the glorious Populat, offer you Amnesty. In return for sharing information on the locations of Imperium or Dulston Alliance members that lead to a kill, you shall be granted immunity from our attacks. Your name will be added to a Do Not Kill list and will stay there forever, unless you provoke an attack on a Coalition member. If no targets are found then one citizen will be killed by a Coalition member as punishment for lack of cooperation. You're either with us or them, and we kill them.
Love, Canderous Ordo
Protect The Imperium
May 29th
May 29th will mark the last day for Coalition activities against the Imperium. There is just so many days we can walk around Gibsonton without finding a single target. We have officially destroyed the Imperium and it'll take a long time for them to recover. Although we did not reach our goal of getting Garviel kicked out of the Imperium we have ruined his image and his group's for years to come. Victory is ours.
A special thanks...
The Coalition would like to extend a warm thanks to the Sanitarium, who aided in destroying survivor safehouses and personally making sure that the Ducat Building stayed out of commission during their stint in Gibsonton. We wish them much pai and bra!nz in their future.