St. Ferreol's Hospital Noise Abatement Society

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St. Ferreol's Hospital Noise Abatement Society
Abbreviation: SFHNAS
Group Numbers: utterly secret...sort of Last count: 5
Goals: Silencing St. Ferreol's Hospital, Kempsterbank.
Recruitment Policy: Zombies in Kempsterbank, and zombies willing to relocate to Kempsterbank.
Contact: Group forum (it's been a bit wonky lately; try again in an hour or two if it refuses to load) or Jen's talk page

Are you a zombie irritated by noise, particularly talking, breathing or generators humming? Are you in the Kempsterbank area?

Then St. Ferreol's Hospital Noise Abatement Society is the organisation for you! Come, and join our six-years-running project of silencing St. Ferreol's Hospital! Batter at the barricades with us! We get in, and set about silencing the nasty noises the hospital makes. Being headshot is hardly even a nuisance. Sometimes we are revivified, but excellent leaping-to-death facilities are available 2 blocks away at the Bornard Building. Remember to put those lights out on the way!

Feel like joining in the mayhem? Just come to St. Ferreol's Hospital, set your group affiliation to 'St. Ferreol's Hospital Noise Abatement Society', and start battering at the barricades of everyone's most irritating hospital, St. Ferreol's, Kempsterbank [57,72]. Experienced or new zombies are equally welcome, and we take pride in helping our baby zombies feed well and level quickly.

There is a group forum here, the recruitment thread is here. (Note as of 8/21/14: the forum has been a bit wonky lately, and sometimes refuses to load. Check back in an hour or two if it's not showing up, and it should be back).


Zombies can't be moved. If a group of zombies chooses to take up residence at a building, they can make it a permanent danger spot for survivors. We are that group. St. Ferreol's Hospital is that building.

Our Vision

Imagine a single ruin in the middle of all-too-often-green Kempsterbank. Imagine 20 or 30 zombies living in there permanently. Logging in to use your 50AP grinding the barricades of neighbouring buildings or killing stranded survivors in the streets, and returning to keep the hospital safe from repairing harmans. A long-lasting and unremovable blight on the dull suburb of Kempsterbank. The cause of despair to the local survivors - a base for undead strike teams, local and visiting. That is our vision! Survivors' feeble coordinating powers could never evict such tenacious zombies. We will be a piece of Malton history - join us!

Current Status


St. Ferreol's Hospital
VHB, unlit
Danger Updater MDUDC 14:01, 5 February 2021 (UTC)

Why St. Ferreol's ?

Early Days

In the words of our (now-retired) founder:

So there I was, lurching along minding my own business, when I was headshot twice in the street and then CRed within 24 hrs. Still (then) being deluded and dual-natured, I went into the nearest building - which happened to be St. F's - and offered some advice on the AP-effectiveness of killing zombies in the street. My arguments were met with cries of 'zombie propagandist' and a few whacks with an axe. Tempers rose. My cold, unbeating heart darkened towards the foolish, cowardly breathers. There was an incident involving a generator. Since then, I've stood - or often lain - outside and spent my daily AP attacking the barricades. The hospital is usually at VSB++, so I sometimes get in and manage to groan and then infect a few people, but more helping claws are always welcome.

That was the start. The idea caught on, maybe not with many, but with a tight group of fierce and obsessive zombies. The Kempsterbank survivor groups know us and have felt our teeth and claws. Our esteemed enemies have described us as 'tenacious as hell', 'intelligent' and 'a huge laugh'.


St. Ferreol's is more often ruined than not, and local survivor groups have upgraded the recommended barricade level from VSB to EHB in response to the society's continued presence. A hard core of zombies reside in the hospital, and radiate barhah out to the surrounding buildings. NE Kempsterbank is just a bit more dangerous than average for the area

Ferals and Nomads

Feral zombies can help us, and we can help you!

If the area is largely ruined, passing zombies should stay outside and listen for feeding groans. Titus GH is a good place to stand to hear groans from most of our regular targets. If there are many ruins with zombies in them, the chance of being headshot on the streets is lower.

If the area is a mixture of ruined and unruined buildings, you can stay outside and listen for groans or you can come and sway with us in SFH. This helps us keep the place from being repaired.

If SFH is the only ruin in the area, there is likely to be a good mob of zombies swaying inside. You can join us, again helping us keep the hospital ruined, and you'll at least stand less chance of being headshot than if you were on the street.

If SFH is barricaded, we'll be attacking it soon. Why not stop outside, and see if we've taken down the cades by the time you next log in?

Friends and Enemies

Our Foes



Gone but not forgotten

Kindred Spirits

St. Ferreol's Twinning Association

In April 2010, a similar project was started in Dartside, since Malton's other hospital named after St. Ferreol is there.

New to Urban Dead?

If you are new to Malton and this is the first wiki page you've looked at, you're probably following a link from a zombie profile. Perhaps you saw us gesturing as we stood outside a barricade together. You might be wondering how we make those deep and echoing groans. Maybe we tore you apart, along with everyone else in the same building. Perhaps one of us bit you, laughed, and shuffled off.

As a newbie, you need information. There are some useful guides and other information here on the wiki. Try these:

Useful for living and undead: First Day in Malton and Modern Suburbia: Surviving Level One

Starting out as a zombie? Guides:Zombie

Want to keep breathing? Staying alive

The name of the suburb you are in is shown above the 3x3 mini map, top left. You can find it on the suburb danger map, and use the link on the map to find the suburb page. That will have a map of the buildings in the suburb, and may have recent news.

Information about skills, equipment, and search odds are also available on the wiki.

Alive or undead, you are welcome to post questions on our forum.

Spread the word

For graffiti-ing around Kempsterbank, the tinyurl for this page is

Specific buildings can be sprayed with directions as well as the url, eg Jillard NT:

  • You hear a loud groaning 1E 3N:

For revive points:

  • Zambahz nah Mrh. Zambahz GRAAGH!

Speaking to other zombies also attracts attention. We are the 'Nahz Abagmahn Brazzahz ahn Z!zzahz', and our building is 'Zb. Raarrararz'. But incomprehensible shouting and gesturing may work just as well. (Keep in mind that only standing zombies can observe speeches and gesturing).

So who was St. Ferreol?

According to wikipedia, Ferréol of Uzès (530 AD to 581 AD) was bishop of Uzès and possibly bishop of Nîmes. It is thought unlikely that he ever visited Malton. His feast day is 4th January, although for SFHNAS, every day is a feast day!