The Randoms/Delta Cult

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Passion, Strength, Power, Victory, Freedom

Cult Leaders: Darth dudemeister, Mistress Delta Sector, Маршал Krae, отдел агитации и пропаганды

Recruit: Apply for Sith Indoctrination on The Randoms forums.

An extremely brief History

It was Evident that this troupe of Random do-gooders were Different from the others and So it was Decided after Much Pondering, Consumption of Yeasty Beverage and Hitting Blasphemers and Non-Believers with Things that We would not Cower under the Shadow of the Field Marshal's Hammer as the Others would, but that We would Stand Tall in the Light of Freedom. And Thus, on the Twenty Fourth of the Second Month in the Two Thousandth and Eighth Year Anno Domini, the Cult Seceded and became Independent.

After doing better on our own than the Villainous Cheeseman deemed appropriate, the Field Marshal cruelly and with much villainy removed our Orange Julius Supply whereupon we began to perish of scurvy. Sick of surviving on little more than mouldy pretzels and the odd furry sweet found down the side of the sofa, Маршал Krae and the Mistress got extremely inebriated and accidentally sold Delta back to The Randoms.

Not much has changed since that fateful day. Our wretched laughter reverberates through the streets of Buttville as we gnaw our way through heretic flesh. Echo and Foxtrot Squad continue to attempt to force Delta zealots to denounce the Will of the Mistress by pimp slapping them at every possible opportunity but their persistance has borne no fruit; all Delta members remain devoted. However, three members of EchoTrot have been Enlightened and defected to join in the Glory of Delta Cult including but not limited to Hierophant Kiali, the beloved consort and wife of Darth dude, much to the eternal dismay of the Generalissimo. Our revenge is indeed magnificent.

The Charter

There are several larger differences between Delta Cult and the whole of the Randoms, which are mainly policy changes.

  • Bounty Reporting: Delta Cult is not required to report Bounty Collections (slayings of PKers) to the Rogues Gallery. If we kill a PKer, and don't report it, the worst that can happen is they report it themselves, and decrease their own bounty by 1. By all means, post about your victory so we can congratulate you, but if they want a lower bounty, let them jump through the RG's bureaucratic hoops.
  • Zombie Behavior: Delta Cult believes that vivo-deficiency (i.e. zombism) can be a tool. We attack survivors when we are zombies, if they're bad survivors. We piñata buildings if we have to. We will zombie-parachute into a building, whittle our victim down to minimal HP with guns, and after we die of infection, bite him to death so he can't report us as PKers. Bad-guys don't get to be bad just because we're good.
  • Allies: Delta Cult does not support alliances with bureaucratic hegemonies or trenchcoat factories. In the event the Randoms ally with them over our objections, we will cooperate with them only as required by our membership. We're Soviet Sith Cannibals, for chrissakes... how seriously do they expect us to take this game?
  • Biting: Delta Cult believes that a bite from a survivor is sometimes just a tooth-hug.

Cult Axioms

  • Before Man, there was the Breath of Life. Before the Breath, there was the Power to Create. Before the Power, there was the Will to Be. Before the Will, there was the Hate of Non-Being. Before the Hate there was the Fear of Void. Before the Fear there was Nothing. Fear leads to Hate; Hate leads to Will; Will leads to Power; Power leads to Action.
  • The Mistress stretches her hand across Delta. Her touch can be felt in every Holy act; when toil our hands, we move for Her. The Mistress casts her eye across Delta. Her gaze can be felt on every Holy act; when watch our eyes, we see for Her. The Mistress lays her head across Delta. Her breath can be felt in every Holy act; when exhausted we can go no further, we rest with Her.
  • And Yea shalt Her flesh feel not the touch of mortal Man, nor of sporting equipment, nor even of blade and shot, for She is wrapped full in the cloth of your Devotion, and shall not fall unless you unweave it.
  • She is the source of AP, and without Her Will, could no man act.
  • And lo did she lay her club upon his brow, and he did tremble, for the wrath of the Mistress full descended on him, and he knew fear in his heart and he hid himself in a factory [49, 91] where well She knew to seek him. And there was no respite from Her judgment save Death, and no sooner did he ?rise than She stood before him, and there was a thin pneumatic hiss, and he did hear a buzzing in his ears as of reproaches numbering in their thousands of thousands admonishing him for his blasphemies.
  • For once there were no moustaches, but said the Mistress "Look upon my face, and witness! A moustache shalt thou see there, thick and luxurious! Dare any say there is not?" And Delta did look upon Her face and every one who saw said "Surely it is so!"
  • Yea was it prophesied the Mistress should take from among the low, among the wretched, among the pitiful, a Eunuch-Consort, and granting him Her hand, should raise him up from filth and degeneracy. And She did select for Her Eunuch-Consort a herder of kittens, saying "Though his face is as homely as the other wretches, and his stink as noisome, at least the kittens may give Me happiness, and he should not at any rate much miss his gonads".
  • Yea did the King quake, and simper, and his knees did tremble, and he did cease munching cheesemen, for the Mistress had heard his arrogance, and raised Her fist as if to strike him, until he proclaimed Delta first in his heart and lifted his hammer from over Her zealots.
  • Then did a horse come forth in Delta which was not as terrible to behold as one might have heard, and it was not so much pale as covered in flour. And it was called Sherman. And with it came a skinny kid in fancy dress, carrying a plastic scythe.
    • But the Mistress was not afraid, and denounced this reaper, and opened wide Her jaws, and jibbering whispers flew forth like bats to sap his sanity, and Her teeth like icicles froze his blood as it flowed from his veins, and he returned to the realm of death he so admired.
    • Thus is the gift of the Mistress.
  • Lo, did Her voice carry on the wind, and it did drift among the young and the untested, and they did hear, and look up, and cry "The Mistress sees us!" And they began in turn to whisper, as She whispered to them, and their whispers infected their comrades until their hissing voices were as many as blades of grass in the wind.
  • And on the sixth day She looked about and saw the beasts of the field and the birds of the air and the fish of the sea and Man, and saw that they were sober. So She raised Her cup, and poured, and when She had finished, all the plants of the earth could be made into delicious booze. And She saw that it was good. But on the seventh day, She was understandably under the weather, and stayed indoors in the dark with Her tea. And this is why the seventh day is the Sabbath, because after drinking that hard, one feels like Ozzy looks.
  • And lo did the prophet raise his pale fist to the sky, so the burning rays of the sun glinted on the gilded ring like the spark of malice in the Mistress' eye, and he did activate his squadcomm and say "Look sir: droids!".

Unilateral Declaration of Independence

When as Man progresses upon the path of Time it happens that a people should require separation from an other people, and a dissolution of such Government as did previously bind the two peoples one unto another, therefore to assume upon itself a Status both distinct and individual, the Grounds for the action must have a Cause, and that cause being Reasonable must be explicable, and ought therefore be Explained.

We hold some several facts self-evident, and unalterable by Man or Body politic:

  • That all men possess certain inalienable rights, which can neither be by definition transferred between persons, nor relinquished by Man to a Sovereign, among which is foremost Liberty of Thought.
  • That to secure such rights as must not be infringed, a People institute Government, in such form and potency as is Just and to such extent as is dictated by the Governed, and
  • That when-so-ever Government of any Nature should become either antithetical to its Purpose, or lose the consent of its People, it is the sole province of the Governed to reprimand, repair, or replace it, so that the Government be built anew with those principles at its heart, in any such form or manner as the People believe does best guarantee their Prosperity, and
  • That while Man is best accustomed to endure the endurable and to tolerate the tolerable so as to avoid Abolishment of the customary for what may be fleeting, fickle, or frivolous purposes, at times a People or State may cause to happen upon another People such suffering as becomes Unbearable, and it then becomes the Right and Duty of the Governed to dispel their Government and institute a new protection for this Prosperity.

Such has Delta with patience endured; and such now requires of them, reprimand and repair failing, a replacement of their former body of Government, hereby abolished within the Sector. The history and record of the present Field Marshal of the Randoms is one of constant and deliberate oppressions, malevolence, and injury, common in their goal of unconstrained subjugation and Tyranny over the Sector, as shall be shown presently:

  • He has forbidden Officers from setting Policy, even deemed pressingly necessary or of unquestioned prudence, unless their implementation shall be suspended pending his oversight, and, so suspended, fails to attend to them with alacrity.
  • He has granted equal legislative power over all districts to persons residing outside of those areas who, having on occasion traveled to them, find them alien and incomprehensible, some of whom are openly hostile to the Governed, and
  • He has made local bodies of legislation illegal excepting should they submit themselves to the present state of Governorship wherein they would be responsible for foreign districts and acknowledge the equality of foreign legislators.
  • He has blocked efforts to independently Populate Delta with like-minded immigrants, unless they should first pass through the Naturalization of the Governing Body and be placed, by chance, into their desired Sector, and
  • He has opposed the relocation of residents of other Sectors with similar beliefs into Delta or the relocation of Delta residents out of the sector due to incompatibilities caused by the arbitrary assignment system.
  • He has made Officers dependent on his Whim for Tenure, and for Promotion to a body of Commanders he may over-rule at Will, and
  • He has on occasion revoked the most fundamental Necessities of Rank when such residents of Delta as have managed to attain Rank in the Randoms equitable to their local position, and having that Rank, have not sworn to uphold it above their responsibility to this Sector, or have shewn they esteem the Mistress above him.
  • He has sent Officers of his court among us for no Good Purpose, and, declaring their Rank above legislators of this Sector in his Courts, sets them above local governance.
  • He has conspired with his Commanders to subject Delta to a jurisdiction contrary to our religion, and in violation of our law, granting by his Decree or Complacence pretended legitimacy:
  • to Heretics coming amongst us.
  • to assaults on the Mistress.
  • to sedition against Her zealots and slander against zealotry.
  • to vandalism of Her holy documents and
  • hostile and aggressive or derogatory responses in Her records.
  • to mock trials for imagined crimes judged solely by himself.
  • to the renunciation of our most fundamental Right to Secession.
  • He has abdicated his right of Governance, declaring attacks on our People outside of his Protection, and allowing his Officers to wage War upon us.

At each of these injuries, we have with Humility and Patience sought redress or recompense; each request brought only further and compounded injury, giving indication thereby of the nature and character of the Field Marshal, and, showing him a Tyrant, demonstrate his inability and unsuitability to govern a Free People.

Nor has Delta been negligent in following bureaucratic process; we have with optimistic regularity brought such concerns as could be addressed by the council of Commanders before our fellows under Randoms Rule, reminding them of the esteem in which we held them, and warning them of the unsupportable conditions to which Delta was being subjected by the Government. We have made appeal to their justice, to our brotherhood, to our common state, to renounce these Oppressions and Injuries. They, fearing the Sovereign, or blind to our suffering, became as well Mute, wherefore we must, of necessity, consider them Brothers no longer, and separating ourselves from the State, distance ourselves from its citizens, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Delta Sector Provisional Government, representing the Soviet Empire of Delta Sector, here Assembled, witnessed in trust by the citizens of the Randoms and her Allies, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the citizen-zealots of the Sector, with earnest solemnity and utmost fervor, declare:

  • That this Sector is, and of Right ought to be, Free and Independent, and
  • That it is Absolved of all Allegiance to the Randoms, and
  • That all political connection between it and the Randoms is, and ought to be, totally dissolved, and
  • That as a Free and Independent theocratic State, has full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, drink a Lot, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right Do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of the Mistress, we mutually pledge to Her and each Other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor:

  • Signed by all members of SEDS

Rejoining The Randoms

Krae said:
You have no doubt read the "Important Announcement" in the news forum regarding our so-called "decision" to rejoin the Randoms. The Mistress would like to address your concerns on this subject.

First off, we aren't really sure what happened last night. As you well know, since the villainous choking off of the Strategic Julius Supply, there hasn't been much to eat in Delta... in fact, The Mistress and I dined last night in the Shickell Arms on two mouldy pretzel sticks and a case and a half of Stella.

We awoke this afternoon with doughnuts and Julius, and some Tylenol (which we promptly ate and went back to sleep). The Mistress had a Cheesman Bank ballpoint pen in her hand, and someone had written "LRN2DRINK NUB" on my face in lipstick. There was a duplicate copy of a bill of sale written on a napkin left on the table we were lying under. It looks legal enough, aside from a preponderance of the use of "lol".

So I guess we're Randoms again, now. Don't forget to change your group name in your profile, and try not to eat too many of your once-again teammates. And despite their clever abuse of our drunken state, you might comfort yourself with the realization that we're the only Squad of the Randoms Cheeseman had to pay for.

Doughnuts and Julius will be served in Pryor!

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