Journal:Penny Black

From The Urban Dead Wiki

Jump to: navigation, search
Penny Black
Starting Occupation: Unemployed
Group Membership: BatwingLogoSide.gifThe Batwing Brigade
Goals: Staying alive, stomping zombies and updating my record collection
Username: Penny Black
More details: Urban Dead profile

You are looking at a pocket size journal, covered in black cloth with a relief floral pattern. It is worn around the edges, and spattered with various fluids, but you can see that it was really nice once. Inside, the entries are written in a neat hand, somewhat affecting gothic script but not quite going all the way. In the margins are little drawings of bats, skulls, spider webs and castles.



Pages covering several days

No text, just bloody smears across the pages


I've made it to Stickling Mall. It's actually getting a bit chilly outside, I'll make sure to check for clothes in here. I'll hole up here for a couple of days, and then set back out for Club Vagg. The food court here actually has a functioning food stall, manned by a couple of weathered old survivors, I'll have to check out the menu. I'm getting hungry, and protein bars only take you so far...


Suddenly I wish I had a web cam, where I could take extreme closeups of my left eye. Why is this?
Anyway, I picked up some barely used make up in one of the apartment buildings I passed through on my way here, including a nice shade of deep purple eye shadow. I can't wait to try it out! I'm sure it would totally look like bruises on my skin... maybe I can find some white or pale purple lip gloss as well?


Well, I've recovered from the arduous weekend, and we all had to move back to Rhodenbank to escape the undead menace. SummerMae finally joined us, I was getting worried. And then I woke up today with the club nearly empty, and a zombie happily chewing at my arm. I kicked it away, patched myself up and gave Summer a shot of antibiotics to stave off any infection, as I could see that she had been bitten also. Then I legged it. Right now I'm hiding in a museum, hoping that Summer will find me. I still think it would be fun to visit Club Vagg, although it is right in the middle of the Red Zone. I radioed the people maintaining the club to ask how they intend to keep it safe, but no reply yet. I'm trying to put together a playlist in case the sound system is still operational (and in case I survive the journey...), but I'm not sure what to play in lesbian club, and I've lost track of my dyke friends since the outbreak.
I'm actually thinking about going in there. I've spent an hour looking at the map, trying to establish which buildings that could serve as safehouses on the way. I could normally go the distance in just one day, but with all the ruined buildings... maybe three days, with time to repair and decoy barricade at least three houses before bedtime every day. I have a tool kit, and I'm going to use it!

Remembrance of My Death

Around, all around, the sinister creatures gather.
My dread grows as the stroke of death falls against my heart.
It wounds me, and darkly my
blood drips
to the swirling dust.
In a haze of shock I flee
while my doom surrounds me.
Now alone, my cry of mercy falls upon dead ears.

This is Hell



All right, the BatRave weekend is officially over, and I'm completely exhausted. I've had so much to do that I haven't been able to write anything for days. Summer Mae joined us in time for the weekend, and she did a great job handling the bar. Speaking of which: Note to self, eat something before doing a full DJ set and then guzzling a whole pitcher of Guinness. I still have a hangover from that, ugh. Anyway, here's the playlists for this weekend.

Playlists for 24th - 26th August at Club Mold


  • Bauhaus: Bela Lugosi's dead

  • NIN: Beginning of the End

  • Joy Division: Love Will Tear Us Apart

  • Siouxie & the Banshees: Hong Kong Garden

  • Sisters of Mercy: Anaconda

  • Bauhaus: She's in Parties

  • Siouxie & the Banshees: Cities in Dust

  • Joy Division: Shadowplay

  • Sisters of Mercy: Temple of Love

  • NIN: Dead souls


  • Queen Adreena: FM Doll

  • Curve: Fait Accompli

  • Athamay: Kiss the Whip

  • The Machine in the Garden: Control

  • Suede: Animal Nitrate

  • Queen Adreena: Medicine Jar

  • Placebo: This Picture

  • Elastica: Waking Up

  • Blur: Universal

  • Placebo: Nancy Boy

26th Nine Inch Nails Tribute

  • Hyperpower!

  • The Beginning of the End

  • Heresy

  • Last

  • March of the Pigs

  • Piggy

  • Survivalism

  • Burn

  • Gave Up

  • Hurt

EBM set

  • Front 242: Headhunter

  • Frontline Assembly: Mindphaser

  • VNV Nation: Kingdom

  • Nitzer Ebb: Control I'm Here

  • Apoptygma Berzerk: Non Stop Violence



the night falls in a heavy, suffocating cloak, soulless are we.
the god for which you pine
flares once, then dies,
crushed by a velvet ebon nothingness.
all hope must end.

your passion throbs no more.
how could you leave me?
shadows surround us, crying,
we have lost our way.


This here diary thing just isn't going very well, is it? Never mind, it's not like I have to hand it in to be graded or anything.
A while back I managed to contact the Night Ravers to see if they would be interested in doing a joint venture with us, and I have now moved to the northern border of Malton to stay with them for a while, as they complete an art project. I've been playing some songs at the dance floor in this club, and a few days ago I was mixing drinks together with this guy in the bar. It was fun, but I have to be more careful with the drink mix, I think I managed to use liquid detergent instead of Margarita mix, again.
This summer has been really weird, with torrential rains followed by flash heat waves. I've been shut inside this club for a few weeks, and have only made little excursions to the mall for food and stuff. Haven't seen many zombies, which is a good thing!
Today I got a text message from somebody that said the BWB has been put on the VIP list at Club Vagg. I knew it was a good idea to include my mobile phone number on our poster! The Vagg is a lesbian club, but any women are allowed inside, and even guys if they are prepared to pay a lot extra for their drinks (and get brutally thrown out if they don't keep their paws to themselves...). I haven't been there since the outbreak, it could be fun to go back there and see what it has turned out like these days. But first we have to plan out what to do by the end of the month, I'd like to do something classy with the Night Ravers.



This is getting weird. As I was revived a second time, after moving to another suburb, I was told by some of the others in the safehouse I stayed in that I was actually killed, not by a zombie but by a priest! At least, he was dressed like a priest, and had a name tag that said " Father Monday". He had ranted about how I was an affront to god, and then he shot me. I mean, WTF? I'm so fed up with all this, with people shouting "Hail Satan" as I walk down the street or just assume that I'm not only a goth but also a satanist / nazi / gay / communist or whatever they happen to dislike the most at the moment. It's the same kind of people who would burn crosses, only with a different badge.
I don't have time for this crap, I'm busy trying to organise a club event for July 3rd, the second anniversary of the outbreak. I'll scout out a proper location later today, I think. Dammit, we should have advertised for this a week ago!


I have such a hangover! I woke up earlier on top of a pile of corpses ina cemetery, which leads me to think I was killed and revived. Last diary entry was nearly a week ago, so I guess that was when I was killed. Great. I should find a new T-shirt, this one I'm wearing is getting a little bit more punk rock than I like... and I don't want things to... slip... through the bite marks either. I still have some body piercings that are not ready for public display, you know.

Oh, god. Must find something to drink, preferably without alcohol... oh, and food. Where's my bottle of sunscreen? The sun is beating down relentlessly from overhead, as if trying to punish us for our trespasses. Let's see... umbrella, sunglasses, sunblock, aspirin. I should be ready for an excursion...


Looks like I've forgotten to write things down again. Meh.

It's been two weeks since the Cinema gig, and I'm back near the cathedral. I've been busy searching out decorations and setting them up, and I've been trying to advertise the Brigade as well as I can. The weather is really hot, but my umbrella is working fine, and I'm hardly tanned!

The question is, what theme should we have? If we're going to use the cathedral, we will have lots of space, and could possibly play more than one genre. I'm thinking classic Goth in one area, a bit older, punkier stuff in one area, hard-hitting idustrial in one and perhaps... some slower, more ethereal stuff in one? Gotta talk it over with Ntla1.


Playlist June 1st



So much to do, so little time...

We now have a location for our next Club Night! We'll be doing our thing at Kilingback Cinema in Danversbank. I used to come here a lot, back before, because it almost only rolled old horror films and stuff like that. I actually never considered using an old cinema for a club night. Ntla1 suggested we do an EBM night in a junkyard, and while that's not a bad idea I suppose we'll do that a bit later. I'm going to stay here for a few days befor the club night, because the Drama Club will perform "Army of Darknesss" here a couple of days earlier, and that would be cool to see.

I'm still carrying around a couple of skulls and a whole skeleton to decorate the place with. I packed the skeleton in a bag, now I'll have to see if I can reassemble it properly... Eh well. I don't think I'll be able to find any tapestries around here, but I'll keep looking just the same. Tomorrow, I'll try to connect the cinema's PA system to the portable CD player I found. That should be... exciting.


Long time, no write. Oh, well.

The cathedral looks very impressive, but it has a few problems. First of all, since we are still so few, and I haven't yet figured out how to build proper barricades, the place would be really difficult to maintain, and would most likely get broken into even before we got started. As with malls, once one section gets broken into, the zeds would be all over in a flash, stinking up the place. Not to mention that all the stuff we would need, like a DJ booth, drinks, speaker system, drinks, snacks, drinks, would have to be carried there by hand, and the only club within walking distance was Club Izzard. Ah, well, it was a nice idea while it lasted. There's a museum here that has some good pickings, I'll see what I can liberate before I move on.

Heaven Shunned

Slender beams of moonlight enter
this darkened church as I kneel,
always forlorn, always despairing,
frozen here,

Robed forms wrought in panes of glass loom as
dust dances in the air,
forming an image in my mind,
searing my darkened soul.

Tears on an angel's face.

I raise my head, now embracing
this uncaring Limbo.


Well, the Grand Opening was a bit less of a success than I hoped, but in the end we had a visit from a large group of death rockers, who joined us for a good slam dance. I woke up thinking I had a terrible hangover, but it turned out that I was just dead. Ntla1 revived me, and suggested that we have another club event every two weeks or so. He also suggested that we relocate to somewhere a bit safer, like a cathedral. I've gone away to scout out the nearest one, and we'll see.
I'm in Vinetown, and although I haven't made it to the cathedral yet, I've passed by the mall, and I found a museum that would be a great supply for skeletons and other decorations! I made sure to pick up a skull when I was there.

My set list for April 30th:



I am shocked and dismayed! Today I returned to Pennville, only to find that at least parts of the suburb had been overrun by zombies while I was gone. They had even broken into Club Barling! The smoke machine is gone again, but they had left the stores of drinks alone, thankfully, and the DJ booth only needs some dusting. All the decorations are gone, so it's a good thing that I wrote on the posters that people should bring their own. We'll see what happens.

I was looking for some skeletons or something before I came back, but found absolutely nothing. I hope the others have better luck...

Pulled Apart

the night falls with a silent sigh, fearful are we.
the understanding for which I pine
flares once, then dies,
swept away by madness.
all hope must surely perish.

my passion throbs no more.
how could you tear us asunder?
lost souls surround us, crying,
we are fallen.


Today a guy passed through the house I was resting in, and seemed happy to see a goth girl around. He said that there were a lot of goth guys in Danversbank, so I'll make a tour there before going back to Club Barling. I have packed in as many tapestries as I can carry anyway.


I've gone off on a treasure hunt! I've actually walked almost two suburbs away fron the club, to try and find proper decorations. Right now I'm looking for tapestries to put on the walls. It's a little dark in here, but I couldn't find a generator, and I don't know if it would be a good idea to set one up anyway. The light might attract zombies. I have nothing against the african stuff I found in Pennville, but it wasn't quite right for Club Barling...

I've got nearly twoo weeks to go, hopefully I'll be able to pick up more than just a few tapestries. A couple of skulls would be nice, so a museum of natural history next, perhaps.

Tophat Tim had left a note for me while I was sleeping, but he didn't say where he was staying, so I couldn't find him again, but I hope we'll see each other before the Grand Opening. I'll ask him if he wants to be head bartender. I really hope we can get the club started again, it almost feels as if I have a purpose in life...


It is a night of dark desire, a song of death,
wolves vent their loneliness. The immortal one

Mist shrouds her pale form,
a brooding agony.

Her raven hair cascades over
translucent ivory shoulders, and her
full crimson lips part slightly, to taste the
life streaming from the
pale flesh beneath

Now a night of sharing,
I hunger.


The work to get the club ready for the Grand Opening is under way! I've been dividing my time between spraying adverts for it on the nearby houses, and visiting the local museums to find decorations. NTLA1 texted me a list of stuff to look for:

  • Mouldering tapestry
  • Medieval tapestry
  • Dark tapestry
  • Headless statue sculpture
  • Skull (arguably redundant in Malton, hence the non-inclusion of the full human skeleton)
  • Monkey skeleton (Cool, a monkey skeleton! And look at its fangs, like a little vampire!)
  • Bird skeleton ("Quoth the Raven...")
  • Lizard skeleton (reptiles are inately goth)
  • Antique mirror (goths and mirrors, need I say more?)
  • Grecian Urn (as in "Ode to a ...")

We'll see how much of that I'll find, but it's worth a try! Maybe I'll ask NTLA1 to work as our in-house Industrial DJ?
On another note, I found the cutest little umbrella the other day! It's black, of course, with one layer of rain proof cloth and an outer layer of black lace! I use it all the time, against the sun! I still haven't figured out how to swing Baby while holding the umbrella, but I'll get the hang of it, I'm sure!


Dear Diary, I'm bored.

I have had plenty of time to write, but nothing to write about. That could of course be a good thing, seeing as how most of the time I have something to write about it's mostly about people getting eaten alive by the undead.

I've been trying to make contact with some of my old friends, the comrades in black, and get them to come to Club Barling on April 30th to be part of the Grand Opening. Which will not be so grand if nobody shows up... The Reformed Pennville Militia did say they would come, if only for the drinks, but it's not the same. I've tried to telephone people I knew, but mostly I get "no signal", and whenever somebody picks up the only answer is various forms of "Graaagh!". Which doesn't help my mood at all, I might add.

I've made an inventory of the bar at the club, and if I can get one or two of the militia boys to help out we should be able to serve some really good stuff. I don't know why the booze is still there, maybe people have been content with he beer so far... They have a distillery going in a cellar a few blocks away, and I found a whole box of alcohol flavouring syrup in different flavours a couple of days ago, so whatever we don't have, we'll be able to fake.

Ah, whatever. At least I'll be a DJ in my own club, like I always wanted. Yay for me.

I should probably get something to eat, besides vinegar crisps. Later.


Didn't get much done today, but I did find a nice pair of sunglasses! They cover most of my face, it seems, and they were barely scratched at all. No hat or parasol though...

I went into Club Barling to print out some flyers on the computer I found in the manager's quarters the other day, and there was this guy in there that really creeped me out. On his name tag it said Nuke Texas instead of a name, and on his back he had written in felt pen:


  • roflwaffles: 14
  • ElMarto: 9
  • CaptainScarlet: 8
  • Bob Z Moose: 7
  • Chris Storvik: 7
  • maggiskypoo: 4
  • Charlie Chaplan: 3
  • killphil: 3
  • London Calling: 2
  • K4mikazeHunter: 2
  • moopa: 1
  • Whitehouse: 1
  • wst50: 1

Retired members: 17

I asked one of the other survivors in there what it meant, and she said the guy was a hit man or serial killer, and that he was bragging about the people he had killed. She told me that all the names on the list were from a group called the BMC, whatever that means. He was armed to the teeth, and just sat there, saying nothing, smiling a little. I made sure not to stay too long...

stolen emotion

what have you done?
a black cloud of agony as emotions seep.
once we drank of paradise,
virginal and innocent,
but your thirst vanished.
a clouded vision of pain -
memories follow bitterness, follow pain,
love ground to dust.
in a haze of tears,
i still love you.


I spent the weekend mostly indoors, but I have finally learned to cross barricades! I've actually moved from Club Barling to another building nearby. Previous experience tells me that barricades I could climb over from outside aren't good enough to keep me safe overnight if a zombie or two are persistent enough...

I managed to update my mp3 playlist at the DJ booth at least! I now have a full Gigabyte of great stuff to listen to. I've been talking over the radio with a guy who used to hang at Club Barling before, and he's on his way down here. I'm hoping we'll be able to set the place up properly and contact our old friends, and get the old club going again. Those who are still alive are probably already recruited to some militia or other, but I still hope to get some of them to take up the offer.

I've trimmed the flak jacket i found so it's comfortable to wear, and I used some white fabric paint to draw a smiling skull on it, because these things look pretty drab unless you fix them up. I managed to get a bath and wash my clotes this weekend also, but I figure I'll have to go off to a mall any day now to get some more t-shirts and socks and stuff, or I'll soon smell just like the zombies anyway.

I'll make a point to look for some sunglasses as well, today it was almost unbearably bright and sunny. Hm, how would I look in a black leather cowboy hat? Or a lace parasol?



Aha! Today I finally found a flak jacket! I'm going to settle down right now and fix it so I can wear it properly, and make it look cool. And somebody has installed a generator here, so the speaker system is live. I'm going to raid the DJ booth for some good music, I know they have some decent stuff here. Yesterday I found a new mobile phone, it's an all black clam shell model with a built-in mp3 player! It was full of brainless pop crap, but if I can get some good stuff off the DJ equipment maybe I'll be able to load it in the phone playlist.

Or, I could spend the evening trying to get something to eat. Decisions, decisions...

I've been trying to learn how to climb across barricades, so I can get into the hospital or the library, but the learning is slow. I have splinters in my hands!

The Daystar is glaring down, and the only reason I go out in the day at all is because the zombies are more active in the night... or so people tell me. Dammit, I'm a creature of the night also! Should I really need to fear the rotting horde like this? Apparently...


Around, all around, the sinister creatures gather.
My dread grows as the angry hand of Heaven falls against my eyes.
It smites me, and darkly my
essence drips
to the broken ground.
In agony I flee
while oblivion surrounds me.
Now alone, my cascade of tears falls upon darkened eyes.

This is Hell


I woke up today when a man with a beard was patching me up with a first aid kit, and I feel much better. He left before I had a chance to say thanks, but maybe he hangs around this area. I need to get more FAK:s of my own, anyway.

I went out to find supplies, and came home with some freeze-dried soup and a bottle of soda. I'll probably keep the bottle after it's empty, to keep water in. It's getting warmer. I could really use a bath, speaking of that. Now I just have to find a way to cook the soup... I have a whole box of soup packets, maybe one of the other survivors has a gas cooker or something, and we can share. I'll ask.

I found a police station that wasn't completely overbarricaded, so I went in looking for something useful. I found a few shotgun shells to put in my shotgun, it only had one to start with. Not that I can actually shoot straight with it, but I guess I can learn. I did not find a flak jacket, which I would really have liked. A lot of people have them, and I'm beginning to feel a bit vulnerable.

There doesn't seem to be a lot of zombies here, the streets almost looked safe. Though of course, that luck can run out really quickly...


Just as I thought, I was awakened by a zombie happily chewing at my arm. Another survivor was trying to beat it away from me, but he had to run away. Good thing was, it looked like the zombie had run out of energy or something, because when I left it just stood there staring emptily at me. I hit it a couple of times with Baby, winked at the cute punk with the mohawk, and left. I walked straight south, and just when I thought I had lost my way I came right up to Club Barling! (a man here is telling me not to write down my location, in case I drop the diary and someone else, like a looter or a serial killer finds it, but I don't think it will be that bad). I used to come here all the time before the outbreak, it was the only place that had any good music. The decor hasn't changed that much since the outbreak, only now the cobwebs are real.

Right now I've installed myself right under the bar on the third floor. I found a bottle of something, drank half of it and splashed the rest on my bitemarks to disinfect them, and now I feel a little better. I still have some of the müsli bars from yesterday, so I'll have dinner and breakfast! Yay for me.

scribbled in the margin:

Alone in Darkness

the night falls with a silent sigh, entwined are we.
the salvation for which you sacrifice yourself
flares once, then dies,
devoured by the all-encompassing dark.
all hope must surely perish.

your heart desires no more.
how could you fail to believe?
shadows surround us, crying,
we have lost our light.


Dear diary, these last few weeks totally sucked. This morning I woke up in a cemetery near Tynte Mall, and I have NO idea how I ended up there. I have a terrible pain in my neck, and someone has made bitemarks in my T-shirt.

Actually, now that I think about it, I'm beginning to suspect that I was killed again... I must have walked here as a zombie. That would explain the really horrific taste in my mouth. I just found a note in my pocket, like some sort of home-printed business card, with a blue syringe painted on and the name Raven Nyx Raynes next to a mobile phone number. I'll add it to my own mobile phone, maybe we'll meet again.

Right now I'm hiding in a bank somewhere in Pegton, and I hope I'll survive the night. The barricades don't look to good, but I can't build any myself so I'll just have to hope for the best. "Hope for the best"... Ha! There's a fricking joke.

If I'm alive tomorrow, I'll try and find one of those cool flak jackets, and perhaps I will survive just a little bit longer...

Somehow I never envisioned the end of the world like this, hiding in the ruins of a broken city, trying not to get devoured by monsters that were once our loved ones... trying not to become monsters ourselves, and sometimes failing without knowing it. Dammit, I should have become a paperback writer!

That's it for today, I'll go and raid the vending machine in the staff cafeteria now, I think I saw some müsli bars or something there.

P.S. I miss my Mp3 player... Right now I could really listen to :wumpscut:, or Zombina, or Siouxie... it would feel really appropriate.

Pages covering several days

No text, the pages are smeared with bloody hand prints.


My arm hurts. When I woke up today a zombie had broken into the police station where I was hiding, and attacked us! It killed two of the guys and took a huge bite out of my arm, but then the others started shooting at it. I ran outside, but there were a whole flock of the stinky things. I ducked them, and ran to a hospital I had seen on my way in, but it was barricaded. Two blocks away I found another hospital, or more like a care home for the elderly, where I found some first aid kits. All the while when I ran i felt a burning sensation in my arm, and I'm sure I was running a fever, so I popped some antibiotics along with the bandages, and that cleared it up. I'm still hurt, but I'm no longer bleeding and the fever is gone.

I went back to the police station, but there were still a lot of zombies outside, so I hid in another building nearby. There is a soldier in here, but I think he hasn't been here long. His uniform is still mostly clean, he has no scars and he only has a pistol, not one of the shotguns I've seen others carry. I told him there was a zombie outside, but he just sat there clutching his water bottle and didn't answer. I'm getting a little nervous.


I'm staying in a police department not far from the Great Wall. This was the only place I could find where I was able to get over the barricades, which means that the undead are able to break them down more easily. Tonight I woke up when one of them got inside, but the others killed it and dumped it outside before it did any damage.
I can almost see the Great Wall from here. At night there are searchlights, and there's a hump that must be a guard tower. I have heard that they sometimes shoot people walking nearby, not caring if they are zombies or survivors. I wonder if we are ever going to get out, or if we're doomed to stay in here forever...

Tomorrow, I'll sneak off to a library to see if I can find a poetry book. I should probably look for some food and a First Aid Kit as well...


Today, I found a fire axe. I think I will call her "Baby".

Personal tools