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In the time before the zombie epidemic every July 8th was celebrated all across Malton as a special local holiday. The holiday was Biertag, known as the "Day of Beer" (or "Beer Day" being the literal translation). It was the one day of the year when everyone put aside their differences and drank beer together. The holiday celebrated Saint Arnold, the patron saint of hop-pickers and brewers. It is said that throughout the world there are many depictions of Saint Arnold, but that he is commonly identified by the mashing rake which he holds in his hand.
In the years following the "Malton Incident" survivors set about to restore the tradition by arranging beer festivals at each of Malton's four churches that were dedicated to Saint Arnold. Even Karloth Vois, former leader of Red Rum, spoke up in endorsement for the local holiday. Of course the reason for this historical "mutual understanding" between survivors and killers has been attributed to a back-room deal between Karloth Vois and Jim Phil, leader of the Burchell Arms Regulars, who provided much needed election support during Karloth's bid to run for Mayor of Malton back in April/May 2007. Being a man of his word, Karloth supported his arrangement even though he lost the election by the smallest of margins. When originally approached with the shady offer for support Karloth is rumored to have said, "Sounds like a good idea- I'd happily endorse such a thing! Whilst I will be away for quite some time, I'm sure I could get this announced and garnered publicity before I leave. Either way, even if I don't win then I'd happily get Red Rum supporting this. Bribes and alcohol? I like the way you work!"
As such, while the goal would be to celebrate Biertag at all four churches, due to the BAR being the event's main sponsor the primary location for the festival will be held at St. Arnold's Church in Rolt Heights. Beer pilgrims should therefore plan ahead and consider traveling all the way to this church, even if the other churches are closer. That is, unless, further festival celebration arrangements are made for the other locations.
History of Biertag
Saint Arnold was born to a prominent Austrian family in 580 in the Chateau of Lay-Saint-Christophe in the old French diocese of Toul, north of Nancy. He married Doda with whom he had many sons, two of whom were to become famous: Clodulphe, later called Saint Cloud, and Ansegis who married Begga, daughter of Pepin de Landen. Ansegis and Begga are the great great grandparents of Charlemagne, and as such, Saint Arnold is the oldest known ancestor of the Carolingian dynasty.
Saint Arnold was an acclaimed bishop of Metz, France, in 612 and spent his holy life warning peasants about the dangers of drinking stale water. Beer was safe, and "from man's sweat and God's love, beer came into the world". The locals are said to have revered Arnold as illness among their families lessened among all who heeded his advice. In 627, Saint Arnold retired to a monastery near Remiremont, France, where he died on August 16, 640.
In 641, the citizens of Metz requested that Saint Arnold's body be exhumed and ceremoniously carried to Metz for reburial in their Church of the Holy Apostles. During this voyage a miracle came to pass in the town of Champignuelles. The tired porters and followers stopped for a rest and walked into a tavern for a drink of their favorite beverage... beer. Regretfully, there was only one mug of beer to be shared among all of them, but throughout the night that mug never ran dry and all of the thirsty pilgrims were satisfied. And very, very... very drunk.
As most of the pilgrims were drunk it is unclear as to the exact date of the miracle as they awoke several days later. As such some believed it to have happened on July 8th. Almost certainly. Maybe. Possibly. Who really cares? Let's drink!
What is Biertag?
On July 8th each year survivors, whether zombie hunter, killer, or bounty hunter, put aside their differences against one another for one "peaceful" day. During this time both killers and bounty hunters are encouraged not to kill anyone while inside any of St. Arnold's churches. As of Biertag '07 those zombies who are interested in the festivities are also encouraged to join in the fun, although they are reminded that to truly "benefit" from the alcohol they should be revived for the party. With this in mind, on this day all those present should: chat on a wide variety of topics (such as the weather), sing drinking songs, and drink many beers. Celebrants are also reminded to take many photos (read: screenshots) during the festival so that they can later be posted here for everyone to enjoy.
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Of course where would Biertag be without some fun? Hostile zombies (those who are not interested in joining in the party) are encouraged on this day to attack all four churches and try to claim them for their own, in order to gain the favor of Saint Arnold for themselves. The celebrants in turn are encouraged to hold the churches and continue their celebration undisturbed. Whichever side, partiers or zombies, that holds the church by the end of Biertag is considered the undisputed "winners". The prize: bragging rights and of course, being very drunk. And before you ask, zombies that eat drunk survivors are gonna get blitzed. That's a science fact.
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Celebration Locations
On July 8th, celebrants and beer pilgrims from across Malton travel to one of the four Churches of St. Arnold which can be found in Malton. So great was the people's love of beer that so many churches were built to honor him. The four churches that were constructed in Malton are:
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Not the first choice for many Malton survivors, as the suburb is commonly overrun by beer-stealing, or even hating, zombies. Most zombies lack the ability to drink beer, but are known to take beers from the survivor they kill. The largest survivor influence in the suburb is from the Department of Emergency Management (DEM), who may or may not be interested in celebrating Biertag.
Located in northwest Malton, Judgewood is the home turf of The Grove, a party-loving survivor group. It's believed that should they choose to celebrate Biertag then they may do so at their local church. Of additional note, members of 5punk (known for publishing the helpful Malton Good Beer Guide) over at the Waugh Arms in southern Chudleyton, may also make the pilgrimage to this church.
Located in middle-East Malton, Roftwood is the opposite of Brooke Hills, as it is overflowing with survivor groups. The church's close proximity to Hildebrand Mall also improve chances of finding the beer pilgrims will need for celebrating at the church. Of additional note, members of the United Bar Alliance in nearby Gulsonside and the Beer Drinking Zombie Busters from suburbs to the east Roftwood, may also make the pilgrimage to this church.
Located in northeast Malton, the Rolt Heights church has been claimed by the Burchell Arms Regulars (aka, the BAR). Known for their drinking, the BAR plans to celebrate at the church on this glorious day. The only known threat to these celebrations might come from the Drunken Dead, if not for the fact that the group's numbers have dwindled in the past year.
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Drinking Toasts, Songs & Jokes
For those celebrating Biertag drinking is only half the fun. I mean, it's the best part, but there's more to it than that. While drinking it's not uncommon to hear a drinking rhyme, toast, or merry song. Here are a few popular Irish drinking rhymes:
- "There are many good reasons for drinking,
- One has just entered my head,
- If a man doesn't drink when he's living,
- How the hell can he drink when he's dead?"
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- "I drink to your health when I'm with you,
- I drink to your health when you're gone,
- I drink to your health so often,
- I'm worrying about my own."
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And now how about a few drinking songs to improve the mood for more drinking? Here are two songs that will certainly improve the mood for a night of drinking:
| "Bottomless Bottle"
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- We'll drink from the bottomless bottle,
- indulge from the stoutest of kegs.
- We'll sip from the tallest of tankards.
- We'll drain from the brim to the dregs.
- Again, again, we'll drink 'til we no longer stand.
- 'Til then, 'til then, we'll drink with the bestest of friends.
- So, raise all your mugs to the heavens
- and drink to the health of all men.
- We'll dance with the fairest of maidens
- and sing them the bawdiest songs.
- We'll tell them the wildest of stories.
- We'll show them where kisses belong.
- Again, again, we'll dance 'til their husbands come in.
- 'Til then, 'til then, we'll drink with the warmest of friends.
- So, raise all your mugs to the heavens
- and drink to the health of all men.
- We'll drink at the basest of barrooms,
- imbibe at the finest of inns.
- We'll taste at the smallest of taverns;
- leave one, and another begin.
- Again, again, we'll drink 'til we've no more to spend.
- 'Til then, 'til then, we'll drink with the drunkest of friends.
- So, raise all your mugs to the heavens
- and drink to the health of all men.
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| "The Philosopher's Drinking Song"
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- Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
- who was very rarely stable.
- Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
- who could think you under the table.
- David Hume could out consume
- Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,
- And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
- who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
- There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
- 'bout the raisin' of the wrist.
- Socrates himself was permanently pissed.
- John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
- after half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
- Plato, they say, could stick it away,
- 'alf a crate of whiskey every day!
- Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
- and Hobbes was fond of his Dram.
- And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
- "I drink, therefore I am."
- Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed;
- A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.
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If singing is not your style and rhyming not your "thing", then how about a few drinking jokes? Try out a few of these and see if your fellow survivor appreciates some good ol' fashioned Irish humor:
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Caught Speeding
An Irish priest is driving down to the highway when he gets pulled over for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then spots an empty bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," replies the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
Startled, the priest looks down at the bottle and says, "By the good Lord! He's done it again!"
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One Wish
Two Irishmen were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!"
The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals.
Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances.
One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have to piss in the boat..."
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10 Guinness's
An American walks into an Irish pub and says, "I'll give anyone $100 to anyone who can drink 10 Guinness's in under 10 minutes."
Most people just ignore the absurd bet and go back to their conversations. One short fellow even leaves the bar.
A little while later the short Irishman returns to the pub and asks the American, "Is that bet still on?"
"Sure," replies the American.
So the bartender lines up 10 Guinness's on the bar the Irishman drinks them all in less than 10 minutes.
As the surprised American hands over the money he asks, "I'm curious. Where did you go before you came back to the pub?"
The Irishman answers, "I went next door to the other pub to see if I could do it."
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Beer Pledge 2012
Do you plan to join in on the celebrations for July 8th, 2012? Great, then show your support by signing up. To sign just include your character profile, your group affiliation, and a comment. This is extra important if your survivor happens to have a murderous background or plans to show up "less-than-alive", as this will allow others to recognize that you are at the church to kill a few beers, not people. As such, anyone listed should not be attacked unless they throw the first punch. Which they shouldn't. So everyone who is interested, be sure to add yourself to the list!:
Sign-Up List for the Rolt Heights Party
- Caleb Usher - NecroTech - "Okay, so a neutron walks into a bar and asks, 'How much for a beer?' and the bartender replies, 'For you? No charge.'. That's science baby!" --Mobius 17:36, 7 February 2012 (UTC)
- Rockefella Plaza - Burchell Arms Regulars - "My raison d'etre is buying all of the dry roasted nuts and finally seeing the noody lady on the cardboard backing this year" --Rockefella Plaza 19:12, 7 February 2012 (GeordieTime)
- father o keefe - The Burchell Arms Regulars(rolls ciggie...swigs from hipflask...sign`s up for Biertag)----
- Jesus Sante - The Burchell Arms Regulars - I will be collecting cameras and cellphones at the door for my, err..your protection. Jesus Sante CFT 18:32, 11 February 2012 (UTC)
Sign-Up List for any Other Parties
Please specify which location and if enough people are listed to show up a new venue will be opened...
- Sign here
Sign ups can support and advertise Biertag with this template:
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The Blessed Day of Beer
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| This user or group is attending Biertag and should not be held accountable for his/her actions on the night of July 8th.
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