|
What is the Malton Herald and Sun?
The Malton Herald and Sun is Malton's oldest zombie newspaper, keeping the good zombies in Ridleybank and surrounding areas abreast of the latest news since 2005. While some may criticize the paper as being little more than a thinly veiled propaganda tool for the all-powerful Ridleybank Resistance Front, the Malton Herald and Sun actually is a carefully researched and hard hitting publication, bringing the latest technology, social conditions, zombie politics, and current events regarding the eradication and cleansing of the human menace to its loyal readers.
Survivor groups have long called for a boycott of the MH&S, claiming that the paper itself presents nothing more than a biased, partisan view of Malton life and that its articles contain little to no factual information. Others have claimed the newspaper's policy of using human slaves fitted with shock collars to publish and distribute the paper is both morally corrupt and unethical. The MH&S dismisses such claims as "human headshot nonsense," and advises protesters that they better get used to their new zombie overlords.
The latest issue can be found here while past articles are stored in the archives.
|
|
Staff: Past and Present
Every now and then, we manage to trick convince talented, journalistic zombies into joining our staff. Here are our past and present staff members, which, without their efforts, this publication would not be possible.
|
|
How does one become a staff writer?
Getting right to the chase eh ? Easy there big fella...While we like the cut of your jib, first, read on and see if any of the following sounds like you...
- I think wikis are hot and sexy! I also have made a wiki page before. It says "Hello World."
Perfect...but what is a wiki?
- I like writing! I also know at least six words in the English language and have used four of them correctly before in a sentence!
Perfect! We know only three!
- I like art and graphics! I have also made, not one, not two, but a picture with three squares in MS Paint.
Perfect! We are usually too drunk to draw a square!
- I have published twenty novels before, and I am currently recreating a 1:1 scale map of the world using only ASCII graphics.
Perfect! You are way overqualified and we will probably worship anything you say or do and welcome you as our new Editorial Overlord!
- I am actually a harman spy, looking to improve my Death Rattle. In particular, I would like to learn how to say one of the following:
- Why are you taking my possessions?
- Why are you ripping my arm off?
- When is my execution?
- What street will my worthless body be dumped on?
Perfect! Leave us your coordinates and RRF representatives will be happy to assist you!
|
