Mayor of Malton/2010

The Mayoral Election of 2010

Malton has always had a rich and colourful history. In 1912, a Great Fire swept the city. In 2005, the city was over-run by zombies. But in 2007, the city chose to elect a new mayor to preside over the madness. That mayor was Murbulskond. For a time, Murbulskond ruled justly and impartially as Mayor. However, such a time of peace is over. And now, in their darkest hour, the people of Malton have decided to elect a new mayor. And so begins the Mayoral race of 2010...

---

Candidates

Time:

15th-22nd = Primaries

22nd-6th = Election (2 weeks)

Returning Parties

The Zombiecratic Party (Incumbent)

Update: In a display of true Barhah the Zombiecratic Party has put aside it's differences and come together as a community; Senergy will be continuing their career as KyleStyle's deputy mayor! ♥ Moonie ^{Talk | Kyle For Mayor} 14:56, 22 June 2010 (BST)

KyleStyle

Once again the KyleStyle For Everything Campaign has returned to claim any and all responsibilities for their sole rightful owner KyleStyle. Ladies and Gentlemen, KyleStyle the rising star of Malton Needs Your Vote. Kyle is an upstanding member of the community and has made an enormous contribution to Malton. Throughout his time in the city, Kyle's initiative has been without equal and surpassed only by his own modesty in accepting any and all responsibilities that are offered to him. The KyleStyle For Everything Campaign aims to forcibly provide all these responsibilities and more to Kyle. KyleStyle spends his time as a zombie in the Ridleybank Resistance Front's Department of Homeland Security feeding the next generation of zambah brazzahz and z!zzahz, teaching the new how to rattle like a b!g zambah, and standing in the line of fire sacrificing himself to save babahz from a nasty headshot. If elected on behalf of KyleStyle the KyleStyle For Everything Campaign will focus on the future of Malton: the babahz who will one day grow to lead this fair city. No babah shall have to go without the food needed to make them big and strong, no longer will babahz have to go without the knowledge required to speak their native tongue and every babah shall be shielded from the trenchy menace. But still, why should I vote for KyleStyle I hear you ask? Kyle is not just one man, no - KyleStyle is me, KyleStyle is you; KyleStyle has scientifically and democratically been proven to be Everything. Therefore a vote for anyone is a vote for KyleStyle. A vote for KyleStyle is a vote for you. A vote for KyleStyle is a vote for KyleStyle! Spread the word: KyleStyle For Mayor of Malton '10 The KyleStyle For Everything Campaign would like to express its disappointment in such trivial formalities as "Democratic Process" in ensuring KyleStyle's recognition as the sole holder of every responsibility ever.

♥ Moonie ^{Talk | Testimonials} 02:06, 7 June 2010 (BST)

Senergy

The Humanative Party

Misanthropy

Primary winner.

Running mate: His Imperial & Royal Highness, the Archduke d’Œuvre  A bullet in every face. A knife in every back. A pinata in every building. If elected, I shall rule through fear, and with an iron fist. Justice will be swift and brutal. Generators will be a thing of the past, and barricades shall serve only as weapons of oppression. The sky shall be a glorious black, the horizon an unreachable haven. I shall reach out diplomatically to our zombie opponents, and hand-in-hand, we shall reach a new future of nightmare desolation. Mankind under my rule shall be obliterated, outlawed, and possibly sued. A vote for Misanthropy, is a vote for misanthropy. Thank you. MISANTHROPY!

DT

"DT" The Enlightened Candidate: 'DT' Greetings, residents of Malton, I am Professor DT. I am running for Mayor because none of the other candidates are qualified for the position, due to their intellectual inhibitions (which vary from candidate to candidate). I promise the following: Affordable Healthcare - Pre-Existing Conditions (death) are no excuse. Affordable Deathcare - Pre-Existing Conditions (life) are no excuse. Benefits for Ferals, and Ankle-Grabbing Aid Programs Restrictions on Combat Revives (CR Licenses) Restrictions on Brain Rot (Brain Rot Licenses) No Mind Left Behind Unenlightened No Brain Left Unchewed No Mouth Left Unhygienic No More Trenchcoats. Full stop. Regulations on Barricade Levels Education, Education, Education. Education or Pain. I will accept no compromises when enacting these. Any corrupt politician who opposes these Enlightened Laws will be dealt with efficiently. Enlightened Law will not be ignored. Praise Knowledge. ~Professor DT, Philosophe Knights Use your Brain (or someone elses); Vote Enlightened. Vote DT.

New Parties

The Alex Stroke

                       You can vote for Alex Stroke!

The Barhah Party

Jorm

No one has brought the zombies more than me.

No one is feared above me and my children.

No one represents Barhah more than me.

I'm the baddest ass, most feared fucker in all of Malton.

Everyone else is late to the party.

That's why I am mayor. Even if you don't vote for me.

Kill, baby, kill.

The Example Party

Yonnua Koponen Running Mate: Mr Suggestor Running Mate (With Corporeal Form): Thadeous Oakley Ladies and Gentlemen, do you ever feel like the parties are just bland statements? No? Well then, how would you like to support a party so bland that it is simply the "Example Party". If elected as mayor, Yonnua Koponen would conduct full and absolute Mime Searches to arrest any renegade mimes. Donkeys would become the new patron animal of Malton, and would be filled in to every orifice. Yes, even THAT orifice. Also, all orphans would be given unto the void to fill it with victory and win. If you want to help in our new movement, please sign up at our recruitment counter. Also pudding. And how many other candidates can say that? Pudding. Just think about that for a moment. Think Pudding. Think Koponen. --Yonnua Koponen Talk ! Contribs 19:25, 2 June 2010 (BST) Engrish version of campaign speech These statements I have made a neutral third party - and to do something different? No? "I am the party" We are neutral. Koponen Yonnua is at all levels, MIME MIME full text without arrest, the mayor can not be found. Donkey is the new patron of animal moles all the input orifice. Yes, it may open again. Similarly, the win to win, I will provide all inputs disabled orphans. Move your help, we will apply please see the counter. Pudding. And you can tell how many other candidates? Pudding. But I think now. Please consider your printer. I think Koponen. T G P absence Koponen Yonnua

---

The Great Blob Party

BLOB FOR MAYOR 2010!!!!!!

"He's already been a savior, a god, a judge and a jury...why not add Mayor to his vast array of titles? Who better than the gelatinous master to rule over Malton's diverse population base?" I present to you, The Chilean Blob of 2003 - the great gelatinous master who rules the sea. Some time back, he emerged from those murky depths on a crested wave, the Sirens singing, The Kraken parting the waves for his arrival. The Blob wishes to look after your lives directly, he wants to hold you all in his embrace. The Blob is a beacon of hope for lost souls, a pillar of strength for the weak, THE seed of knowledge for the scholars, the first cause, the mote of malice bestowed by the powerfull. Through his blobular folds, all things are possible. The Great Blob holds the tide and stops the great flood from destroying our beloved city. He keeps the cruel masters of the deep at bay. He is the way. Through his campaign manager, Dr Summeroff, the Blob makes his will known. And his will is to be Mayor! VOTE BLOB 2010! UPDATE!! The Blob is making it rain endorsements wherever he goes! Jump on board! BLOB FOR MAYOR 2010! --Dr summeroff 15:16, 10 June 2010 (BST) Voting for the Great One will ensure the protection of this city. --TCAPD(╯°□°)╯ ┻━┻ 12:55, 3 June 2010 (BST) Blob wants YOU! unofficially supplied by ddr The Chilean Blob Campaign Manager: Dr summeroff

---

The Green Peace Party

Some Asshole Named Imthatguy

Running Mate: Lithedarkangel

Help me do absolutely nothing. Well... maybe the legalization of weed--Arthur Dent BIN LADEN IS DEAD!!!!! 12:59, 3 June 2010 (BST)

Legalization of Meth, Weed, PCP, Cocaine, LSD and many more. --LithedarkangelMeth!^{The Great Meth Man} 22:09, 5 June 2010 (BST)

---

The "Hell Yeah, it's the 80's" Party

Sage Carr Cobra would like to announce their candidate for the mayorship. Vote Sage Carr for a wave of 80's haircuts, power jackets and vicious slaughter against GI Joe, and wanton destruction of all GI Joe related merchandise. In all seriousness though, the 80's are back in a big way, so vote for the only party who will bring the true spirit of the 80's back to Malton! If you elect me, I promise to hold a city-wide 80's themed party - and for all the Pker's out there, I promise to hold a city-wide PKer event! Hail Cobra! May death come quickly to her enemies! -- Sage|Carr Cobra 14:35, 4 June 2010 (BST) Cobra pets zombies => Zombies should vote for Cobra Hell Yeah, it's the 80's! No innocent will escape the upcoming PKer event

---

The Maltonian Separatist Party

Oidar Survivors, zombies, murderers, donkeys, comrades - Today is the day that things change. Today is the day we become what we should have become a long time ago. Today, we become free! For too long, Malton have been left at the mercy of those who no longer care. The Glorious City has for years been the subjects of an unjust master and a feral pack of clowns. No longer! Malton has been abandoned by its liege. What help have we received? How long was it since the last crate of supplies was dropped? Have the UK, the EU or the UN done even the slightest to help us? No! We have been left alone in the dirt, shunned and stopped from entering a world which no longer wants us around. We deserve better than this! We must do something about this - Nobody else will! Therefore, I will if elected proclaim Malton an independent, sovereign state - Free of outside oppression and hostile influence. We shall from then and into eternity be known as the Democratic People's Republic of Malton, led by myself. There will be no relations with other states, there will be no representatives in the UN or EU, there will be no foreign embassies on the soil of the Glorious City - It shall be we who blocks of the outside world, not the other way around. For the Glorious City, for freedom, for the motherland and for the Dear Leader. Oidar 11:57, 3 June 2010 (BST)

---

The Popsicle Pete Party

The Popsicle Pete Party, Malton chapter, wishes to change Malton history forever! Please, let us.

If our glorious and powerful leader, Popsicle Pete, is elected, Malton can become the world's first city to be completely assimilated by the great and unstoppable power He is offering!

My name is Kurt Cocaine, and I want my children to grow up in Popsicle Pete's Malton!- KurtCocaine 00:58, 17 June 2010 (BST)

I DEMAND THE TITLE OF MAYOR.

When elected, I promise death for each and every one of you.

I will destroy schools and hospitals.

I will continue to kill, consume, assimilate.

---

The Thermonuclear Party

Sam 2334 This very mushroom cloud could be forming over Malton this very minute! Awesome! Do you have problems with zombies? Gigantic hordes of 'em all over the place? Well, that wimpy shotgun you're holding won't do anything to help--what we need are the big guns! If you elect me as mayor of your fine city, I will gladly introduce legalization of ICBMs within Malton town limits. Just imagine--Ridleybank going up in a puff of smoke! Even better, all the radiation and heat destroys most bodies, rendering the return from undeath even more cumbersome. All you Escapists will finally be able to leave Malton--the Border guards don't have the ability to shoot down missiles, now do they? This wonderful opportunity isn't just a pro-survivor benefit: all you zombie spies and pking types will have a weapon that until now, you could only dream of. It's like the Tommy Gun, only a thousand times better! Isn't this the spirit of Malton, getting the most experience for your action points with the biggest weapons available? Vote now! I'm Sam 2334, and I approve this message. --Sam 2334 21:51, 3 June 2010 (BST) A small assortment of Malton's future weaponry. Vote for me, and you can go out with a bang! Just like this guy.

---

The Voter Apathy Party

Voter Apathy 2010 Yeah, so like, if I'm elected, I might do stuff. Nothing big, like "kill all humans," "Legalize ICBMs," or "govern," because that all would take too much effort. I suppose if people really want, I might do something like organize a snack run to Ridleybank, but I don't really see the point. I've heard people say voting Apathy is a bad choice, that it could lead to "Anarchy." I don't really care. Remember: A vote for Apathy is a vote for Apathy. User:Red Hawk One

Whatever.

---