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= Malton Observer: October 14th, 2008 =
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= Malton Observer: October 30th, 2008 =
{|border="1"
{|border="1"
|-
|-
|[[#News at a Glance|News at a Glance]]
|[[#News at a Glance|News at a Glance]]
|-
|-
|[[#Interview with a Deity|Interview with a Deity]]
|[[#Note from the Editor|Editor's Note]]
|-
|-
|[[#Doctor Tom = Tom Chardon?|Special Report: Tom Chardon's Double]]
|[[#Farewell to Father Thompson|Beloved Gun-Toting Pastor Retires]]
|-
|-
|[[#Fun Corner|Fun Corner]]
|[[#Attack of the Living (and) Dead|Zombies and murderers target survivors!]]
|-
|[[#Sonny Speaks|Interview with Sonny (so stop asking)]]
|-
|[[#Notes From Darby|Choppers is back!]]
|-
|[[#|Fun Corner]]
|}
|}


== News at a Glance ==
== News at a Glance ==
*'''Happy Birthday''' - The Observer's own Choppers McGee turned 30 yesterday.
*'''Happy Haloween''' - The one day of the year when the monsters knocking on your safehouse door might not want your brains... though they probably do want your brains.
*'''The Malton Uprising Update''' - Nobody cares about the MU now.
*'''[[#Farewell to Father Thompson|Father Tom retires]]''' - Thousands cry out in anguish.
*'''Happy Thanksgiving''' - Canadians Malton-wide celebrate Thanksgiving. 3 reported dead from food poisoning.
*'''Crucifix suggestion is peer reviewed''' - Newspaper editor's neutrality questioned.
*'''Malton Observer Releases 6th Issue''' - Editor Labine50 quoted saying, "It's been how many issues!?"
*'''Malton Observer has new editor''' - Few notice.
*'''Poll Taken''' - 80% of Brainstock users believe Tom Chardon = Doctor Tom.
*'''New horde emerges''' - The [[Brainstalkers]] emerge and gain 37 members in less than a week.
*'''B-B-B-BIRD, BIRD''' - BIRD IS THE WORD!
*'''[[#Sonny Speaks|Sonny talks about himself]]''' - Gasp!
*'''Kristi of the Dead anounces [http://z14.invisionfree.com/Brainstock/index.php?showtopic=10452 good news.]''' - Join the DEM to view that link.
*'''Where'd everybody go?''' - Several reporters go on holiday just as news starts happening in Malton.
*'''Big Brother is watching you''' - [http://www.urbandead.com/signup.cgi?city=3 The plague spreads... again.]
 
==Note from the Editor==
The Malton Observer would like to remind survivors that trick-or-treating is ill-advised in the streets of Malton.
 
--'''William Told'''
 


== Letter from the Editor ==
==Farewell to Father Thompson==
Watch for the next special issue of the Observer, hopefully out October 31st! '''William Told''' will be taking over editorial duties for the next issue, and I wish him the best of luck. (Not that he'll need it!)
The Malton Observer is sad to report that the esteemed [[User:Father Thompson|Father Thompson]] of [[MCI]] is retiring. In his own words:


Also, I would like to apologize to Malton Observer staff for last issue. Everyone over here has been working hard to get each issue hard, and I'm thankful for all the help; I thought it might be time to give them a vacation.
"''Well, I'd posted an announcement to the council, and to MCI- but I've gotten some PMs from people noticing the new forum color with confusion, so I thought perhaps I should give a more general announcement.


Still sick from bad turkey,
''I've retired from active DEM service, and from administration of Brainstock. The decision came simply because I didn't have the time to give my group, the DEM, and the forum in general, the attention that they deserved, because of a busier personal life. I've had a blast, and will continue to have a blast more casually, with the DEM and with others, and my decision was in no way a consequence of any event in-game or on the forums- most of which have been quite fun for me (even the controversies, I rather enjoy those tbh).
-'''Labine50'''


== Interview with a Deity ==
''See you around, then!''"
Malton is home to a vast collection of murderers, zealots, and groups of nefarious characters; but the so-called secular nation of [[DORIS]], or the Democracy Of [[Resensitized]] with Interesting Sigs, stands out from the rest. DORIS is widely known for being able to mobilize large coalitions of nefarious groups under the banner of the Sons of Pluto (DORIS' Pluto-worshiping cult), as well as for being one of the least discerning groups of killers in all of Malton: Once referred to as the Freemasons of Malton, they accept nearly anyone willing to kill in Pluto’s name, regardless of group affiliation or style, even accepting bounty hunters into the fold. Starkly contrasting with nearly every other group of killers in Malton, DORIS does not require its members to leave the group they are affiliated with to join DORIS in its campaigns. Members of DORIS are also widely known for having interesting sigs and shouting, "needs moar DORIS," in a variety of situations without regard for the fact that DORIS has no numerical value, a fad that has spread to every corner of Malton.


Detractors of DORIS claim that they are simply a bunch of juvenile, homophobic griefers with nothing to do but have cheap laughs at the expense of others, a fair statement, as they have repeatedly griefed individuals and groups without restraint and often ridicule their foes with extremely homophobic language. For example, [[the Imperium Must Die]] Coalition, the largest operation DORIS has planned and carried out to date, was a large, organized effort to try to force Garviel Loken from Malton permanently.
Father Thompson, known as FT to those who are too lazy to spell whole names, has been in the [[MCDU]] since "Some time in '06," and he has been one of the DEM's biggest assets ever since. A member of the DEM Council and a leader of the MCDU, he has been hailed by friend and foe alike as the calm voice of reason amidst the clamor of Urban Drama. This respected diplomat was clearly one of the greatest representatives the DEM has ever had. I also heard he can shoot lightning from his eyes and once killed a bear with his bare hands.  


Since August 24, 2006, the date the International Astronomical Union's downgrading Pluto’s classification from "planet" to "dwarf planet," DORIS has launched several attacks on various groups and suburbs throughout Malton whom they have declared enemies of Pluto. Recently, however, Pluto has reputedly returned to life in mortal form, an event that DORIS has celebrated by naming the denizens of [[Fort Creedy]] "infidels" and killing them indiscriminately. The Malton Observer recently spoke via liaison with [[User:Pluto Freedom|Pluto]], the mysterious figure worshiped by this murderous cult. Recently reborn as a mortal in Malton, he was eager to voice his own opinion for a change, as any god would be.
He will not only be missed by the DEM, but by the entirety of Malton.


''MO: Thank you for speaking us today. Please state your name for the paper.''
...but ''especially'' by the DEM.


'''Pluto: Call me Pluto.'''
--'''William Told'''


''MO: On 8/24/2006 the International Astronomical Union downgraded you from "planet" to "dwarf planet" in what DORIS claims to be an attempt on your life, nearly stripping of your divinity. How does it feel to have everything taken away from you by the people you trusted most?''
==Attack of the Living (and) Dead==
Survivors have had a tough time over the past week. The [[Militant Order of Barhah]] ravaged the South East as the [[Ridleybank Resistance Front]] marched throughout portions of central Malton, cutting a swath of extremely dangerous suburbs that went uninterrupted from the western border to the eastern. Survivors were left wondering what happened as organized strike teams methodically ruined entire suburbs and moved on. The MO pleads that mobile survivor groups provide aid to suburbs such as Pitneybank that are currently holding back the zed menace. We also advise that survivors in suburbs that have lost the TRP's necessary to survive this advance resort to [[River Tactics]] that they might help the ruined suburbs get back on their feet. This period of extreme zombie aggression follows a period of relative safety for survivors across Malton.


'''Pluto: I feel betrayed. For years, people considered Me their favorite planet. The God of the Kuiper Belt. There is a need for revenge.'''
And the destruction was not limited to zombie incursions. [[PKA|A group of nefarious pagans]] attacked [[Blesley Mall]] in the suburb of [[Gulsonside]] of the 26<sup>th</sup> of October in celebration of the Celtic holiday of [[Samhain Slaughter 2|Samhain]], killing 114 survivors over the course of a few hours. Witnesses have claimed that a shady character was seen reading poetry over the radio shortly after the murders began, and what followed was a grisly sight as dozens of bodies and gallons of blood covered the floors of the mall. Revivers were unable to keep up with the queues in the cemeteries the next day as lines of 50 or more formed. Apparently, the guilty parties were sighted near the mall several days before the the night of Samhain, but the local survivor population was unable to anticipate or prevent the massacre.


''MO: Conversely, the Sons of Pluto cult, led by the secular nation of DORIS, have remained faithful to you, repeatedly launching attacks on infidels for supposed transgressions against you and your followers. Are you pleased with their performance thus far?''
In light of certain publicly released footage of the Samhain Slaughter and its aftermath, the Malton Observer has advice for the survivors of Malton:
* If you are being attacked by another survivor, '''leave the block you are in and heal yourself as necessary.'''
* Do not retaliate or engage the would-be murderer in realtime combat unless you know '''for certain''' that you will win.
* '''Do not attempt to reason with your attacker.''' Phrases such as, "do I look like a zombie," are unlikely to deter these murderers, especially if you do not use proper punctuation.


'''Pluto: Of course. They have done well. In My absence, Sonny has led well. The Army has grown, and I am pleasantly surprised by this all.'''
Thankfully, survivors of the massacre are already recovering and have maintained their control of the mall, displaying the indomitable spirit of the Malton survivor.


''MO: Now that you’ve been reborn in mortal form, how do you plan on retaliating against your detractors?''
--'''William Told'''


'''Pluto: Well, I don't want to give away any surprises, but of course I have been slaying infidels Myself. Also, DORIS is doing a good job celebrating My return, but I would like to see more.'''
==Sonny Speaks==
What can one say about Sonny Corleone? He has been playing Urban Dead since 2005 and has developed quite the impressive resume, as he will readily tell you. He's led five survivor groups (4 historical) and two zombie groups (the [[RRF]] and one historical). He's been instrumental in the planning and execution of a dozen or more events, fighting for all sides. But most people these days know him for the only PKer group he has ever led, the infamous [[DORIS|Democracy Of Desensitized with Interesting Sigs]], which has formed a planet-worshiping coalition of the largest and best-known PKer groups in Malton. It has been said that if PKer groups are nations, DORIS is the Freemasons, spread throughout the PKer groups without regarding boundaries between them. Members of DORIS include members of [[Red Rum]], the [[Philosophe Knights]], the [[Spartans]], and many other PKer groups across Malton; and whenever a controversial celebrity dies these villainous Pluto-cultists come together to kill innocent survivors on Sonny's command.


''MO: Was Sonny inspired by you in his griefing of [[the Imperium]], or did he organize IMD Coalition on his own?''
So who is this man who's influenced the game so much? He's been called, "troll," "griefer," "homophobic," "an egocentric jerk," "soldierboy," "craven," "lulzy," "prophet of Almighty Pluto," "a black mark on [humanity's] reputation," "an uncle tom," and "Soromu." But who is he really? A soldier in the US Coast Guard ROTC? A forum troll and griefer? Kind of a dick, but still pretty funny? Magically delicious? Recently, the Malton Observer's former editor sat down with Sonny and discussed his achievements, his plans for the future, and his baby- DORIS.


'''Pluto: Although I was not part of DORIS activities while lying dead, I'm sure Sonny was inspired by Myself while leading the Army. The IMD Coalition was probably one of the most successful religious Inquisitions in the history of quarantined Malton. I am very pleased.'''
--'''William Told'''


''MO: Now that you have a mortal body, is there anything you’re planning on doing that you weren’t able to do with a silicate-based body?''


'''Pluto: Of course. Although I must be more careful now, as I can be permanently killed and have used up much of My divine powers reincarnating, I hope to get go to a mall, get a bat, and play some baseball. Then, I'll use it to bludgeon a heretic’s face in.'''
''MO: What inspired you to start DORIS?''


''MO: Now that you have planetary, divine, and mortal aspects; will you be referring to yourself as the Kuiper Trinity?''
'''Sonny: On the Rezzens forums a member named Smoked created a rather crappy sig mocking the [[DARIS]] sigs of olde. It was a green square with his name, title, and image. It then had me thinking of making better sigs. Soon everyone had my amazing sigs. That's when AnimeSucks said we should make it into a real group. So Smoked, AnimeSucks, and I are the leaders of DORIS.'''


'''Pluto: A truly outstanding idea. I never thought of that, but I shall consider it.*'''
''MO: So what would you say is DORIS' greatest achievement?''


''MO: Some players have claimed that DORIS is just a griefing organization. Would you like to respond to these claims?''
'''Sonny: Wiping out several suburbs. Grigg Heights, Yagoton, Dulston, Lockettside, South Blythville, etc. Gibsonton sort of counts but that wasn't official DORIS. Santlerville too I guess. But I think being a viral group that has spread to almost every PKer group is an accomplishment. Also, getting plenty of survivors to create pker alts just to join us. I've lead the largest survivor organization, the largest zombie organization, and I feel DORIS is the biggest pker organization. I have no hate for the PKer Alliance or the Pker Hub, they are successful in their own way. But when you look at who is organizing the most PKer groups together and who is creating the most alliances? It's DORIS. Oh, and the Uprising doesn't count because they have survivor groups and fail.'''


'''Pluto: We are not griefers. We are a nation. They are griefers by griefing us about griefing them. What's with all the griefing? We only slay infidels.'''
''MO: What sort of future plans (if any) do you have for DORIS? Would you only be able to tell me if you knew the next date a notable person would die?''


''MO: Thank you for taking the time to conduct this interview with us. Is there anything else you would like to say to our readers?''
'''Sonny: DORIS will continue to kill at random in unorganized attacks. Right now we're in Creedy because Pluto has returned and ordered us to. Also I'm starting to really work on the Pluto Press. We feel that the truth or at least something resembling it must be spread to the masses. When someone dies next that we deem important we're going to name them a Saint and kill in their honor. I don't know who though. We reviewed Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes, and Paul Newman but felt they didn't live up to Pluto enough to deem them worthy of Sainthood. So we'll have to wait and see.'''


'''Pluto: Praise be to Pluto!!! I have returned. Join us in our quest to purge Malton of nonbelievers, and help pave the road for a New Secular Order in Malton!!!'''
''MO: So what would you say if I told you president Bush was going to die on October 15th?'' <sup>''editor's note: He didn't''</sup>


'''-William Told'''
'''Sonny: Sorry, can I answer that question later? I'm on the phone with the Secret Service.'''


<small>'''<nowiki>*</nowiki>''' Pluto has since taken to referring himself as The Kuiper Trinity. We blame the liaison.</small>
''MO: Sure. Moving on to you as a player, what would you say is the best moment of your career?''


== Doctor Tom = Tom Chardon? ==
'''Sonny: That's tough. You can't compare survivors, pkers, and zombies. It's like apples, oranges, and rotted bananas.
Irrefutable evidence has been uncovered that Doctor Tom and Tom Chardon are the same person.


'''The Profile'''<br>
'''As a survivor... probably Mall Tour 2006. I lead PARA, the Stanbury Renegades, and the Council of Leaders forces there while Cowboy Up led the CDF and Swiper led the ACC. We lost but we won a award for surviving the longest that wasn't Caiger.
Firstly, Tom "Chardon"'s profile.<br>
[[Image:MO_TomProfile.jpg]]<br>
Notice that he is a scientist? What other class in UD do we know of that is a scientist?<br>
[[Image:MO_classes.jpg]]<br>
Yes, that's right. We have Doctor Tom "Chardon" and Doctor Tom.


'''The Wiki'''<br>
'''As a PKer...just DORIS in general. That and all the stuff we did. Invasion of Gibsonton was a favorite but not my best. It was definitely a high point for me.
Evidence can also be found on the wiki of the connection. Here he both admits that he has other alts in the game, (which could very well include "Doctor Tom".)<br>
[[Image:MO_TomWiki.jpg]]<br>
and that he is a Scorpio!<br>
[[Image:MO_TomScorpio.jpg]]<br>
And as we all know, Doctor Tom is a Scorpio who enjoys [http://i35.tinypic.com/2m27s4g.jpg long walks on the beach.]


Going back to the profile Doctor Tom Chardon has put together, he mentions headaches. That sounded familiar to me, then I remembered! Doctor Tom mentioned that moderating General Chat was giving him a headache.
'''As a zombie...The Big Bash. When Graull asked me to get the RRF to help I joined right in and the Bash's numbers doubled. We had almost 80% red suburbs, no Ridleybank incursions, and not a single Green suburb. We had survivors left and right asking us for amnesty and there was a point where we were going to set up Survivor Bantustans for them to live in while we controlled Malton. It was probably my happiest time in the game.'''


'''In Game'''<br>
--'''Labine50'''
Then of course there was [http://i35.tinypic.com/eu1npy.jpg this little gem] dug up by the the PI I hired.


As you can see, Doctor Tom and Tom Chardon are clearly the same person. Any other evidence can be submitted in this thread or via PM to myself.
==Notes From Darby==
Welcome to the latest edition of Notes From Darby. It's been a while since there's been an update, but no worries. I'm still very much alive....or am I a zed again.....???


This has been a Malton Observer special report.
Not much going on at Darby lately. Our numbers are still down, but at least holding steady. Our campus has been pretty quiet, but we are now moving to a slightly different area that hopefully will have more for us to accomplish. Lately it's been feast or famine. We've either been overrun with zeds or barely have had any to speak of. Such is life in Malton, I guess.


-'''Labine50'''
It's Halloween time in Malton again. Are we going to have more zeds around knocking on our safehouse doors trick or treating? Will we get costumes to wear to show off to our fellow survivors? Will we get candy
old, stale candy to either risk eating ourselves or throw at the zeds from our safehouse windows? Ah, the kinds of things we must do to keep our interest up in Malton.
 
Have a spooky Halloween.
 
Until next time,
 
--'''Choppers McGee'''


== Whatever That Means! ==
== Whatever That Means! ==
Line 109: Line 124:


== Fun Corner ==
== Fun Corner ==
[[Image:MO_Comic_4.png|600px]]
[[Image:MO strip.png]]


-'''Tonyay163'''
-'''Tonyay163'''


''Note from the Editor, to MU members-'' joke ''n'' (pl, jokes) 1- an amusing story, 2- something said or done for amusement.
''Note from editor: Jayefex, creator of the Fun Corner's crossword, has been kidnapped by ninjapiratezombiemonkeyrobots and has been unable to prepare a crossword.''
 
''Due to Jayefex's vacation there will be no crossword in the Fun Corner this issue.''
</font face>
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[[Category:The Malton Observer]]
[[Category:The Malton Observer]]

Revision as of 01:19, 31 October 2008

Malton Observer: October 30th, 2008

News at a Glance
Editor's Note
Beloved Gun-Toting Pastor Retires
Zombies and murderers target survivors!
Interview with Sonny (so stop asking)
Choppers is back!
Fun Corner

News at a Glance

  • Happy Haloween - The one day of the year when the monsters knocking on your safehouse door might not want your brains... though they probably do want your brains.
  • Father Tom retires - Thousands cry out in anguish.
  • Crucifix suggestion is peer reviewed - Newspaper editor's neutrality questioned.
  • Malton Observer has new editor - Few notice.
  • New horde emerges - The Brainstalkers emerge and gain 37 members in less than a week.
  • Sonny talks about himself - Gasp!
  • Kristi of the Dead anounces good news. - Join the DEM to view that link.
  • Where'd everybody go? - Several reporters go on holiday just as news starts happening in Malton.
  • Big Brother is watching you - The plague spreads... again.

Note from the Editor

The Malton Observer would like to remind survivors that trick-or-treating is ill-advised in the streets of Malton.

--William Told


Farewell to Father Thompson

The Malton Observer is sad to report that the esteemed Father Thompson of MCI is retiring. In his own words:

"Well, I'd posted an announcement to the council, and to MCI- but I've gotten some PMs from people noticing the new forum color with confusion, so I thought perhaps I should give a more general announcement.

I've retired from active DEM service, and from administration of Brainstock. The decision came simply because I didn't have the time to give my group, the DEM, and the forum in general, the attention that they deserved, because of a busier personal life. I've had a blast, and will continue to have a blast more casually, with the DEM and with others, and my decision was in no way a consequence of any event in-game or on the forums- most of which have been quite fun for me (even the controversies, I rather enjoy those tbh).

See you around, then!"

Father Thompson, known as FT to those who are too lazy to spell whole names, has been in the MCDU since "Some time in '06," and he has been one of the DEM's biggest assets ever since. A member of the DEM Council and a leader of the MCDU, he has been hailed by friend and foe alike as the calm voice of reason amidst the clamor of Urban Drama. This respected diplomat was clearly one of the greatest representatives the DEM has ever had. I also heard he can shoot lightning from his eyes and once killed a bear with his bare hands.

He will not only be missed by the DEM, but by the entirety of Malton.

...but especially by the DEM.

--William Told

Attack of the Living (and) Dead

Survivors have had a tough time over the past week. The Militant Order of Barhah ravaged the South East as the Ridleybank Resistance Front marched throughout portions of central Malton, cutting a swath of extremely dangerous suburbs that went uninterrupted from the western border to the eastern. Survivors were left wondering what happened as organized strike teams methodically ruined entire suburbs and moved on. The MO pleads that mobile survivor groups provide aid to suburbs such as Pitneybank that are currently holding back the zed menace. We also advise that survivors in suburbs that have lost the TRP's necessary to survive this advance resort to River Tactics that they might help the ruined suburbs get back on their feet. This period of extreme zombie aggression follows a period of relative safety for survivors across Malton.

And the destruction was not limited to zombie incursions. A group of nefarious pagans attacked Blesley Mall in the suburb of Gulsonside of the 26th of October in celebration of the Celtic holiday of Samhain, killing 114 survivors over the course of a few hours. Witnesses have claimed that a shady character was seen reading poetry over the radio shortly after the murders began, and what followed was a grisly sight as dozens of bodies and gallons of blood covered the floors of the mall. Revivers were unable to keep up with the queues in the cemeteries the next day as lines of 50 or more formed. Apparently, the guilty parties were sighted near the mall several days before the the night of Samhain, but the local survivor population was unable to anticipate or prevent the massacre.

In light of certain publicly released footage of the Samhain Slaughter and its aftermath, the Malton Observer has advice for the survivors of Malton:

  • If you are being attacked by another survivor, leave the block you are in and heal yourself as necessary.
  • Do not retaliate or engage the would-be murderer in realtime combat unless you know for certain that you will win.
  • Do not attempt to reason with your attacker. Phrases such as, "do I look like a zombie," are unlikely to deter these murderers, especially if you do not use proper punctuation.

Thankfully, survivors of the massacre are already recovering and have maintained their control of the mall, displaying the indomitable spirit of the Malton survivor.

--William Told

Sonny Speaks

What can one say about Sonny Corleone? He has been playing Urban Dead since 2005 and has developed quite the impressive resume, as he will readily tell you. He's led five survivor groups (4 historical) and two zombie groups (the RRF and one historical). He's been instrumental in the planning and execution of a dozen or more events, fighting for all sides. But most people these days know him for the only PKer group he has ever led, the infamous Democracy Of Desensitized with Interesting Sigs, which has formed a planet-worshiping coalition of the largest and best-known PKer groups in Malton. It has been said that if PKer groups are nations, DORIS is the Freemasons, spread throughout the PKer groups without regarding boundaries between them. Members of DORIS include members of Red Rum, the Philosophe Knights, the Spartans, and many other PKer groups across Malton; and whenever a controversial celebrity dies these villainous Pluto-cultists come together to kill innocent survivors on Sonny's command.

So who is this man who's influenced the game so much? He's been called, "troll," "griefer," "homophobic," "an egocentric jerk," "soldierboy," "craven," "lulzy," "prophet of Almighty Pluto," "a black mark on [humanity's] reputation," "an uncle tom," and "Soromu." But who is he really? A soldier in the US Coast Guard ROTC? A forum troll and griefer? Kind of a dick, but still pretty funny? Magically delicious? Recently, the Malton Observer's former editor sat down with Sonny and discussed his achievements, his plans for the future, and his baby- DORIS.

--William Told


MO: What inspired you to start DORIS?

Sonny: On the Rezzens forums a member named Smoked created a rather crappy sig mocking the DARIS sigs of olde. It was a green square with his name, title, and image. It then had me thinking of making better sigs. Soon everyone had my amazing sigs. That's when AnimeSucks said we should make it into a real group. So Smoked, AnimeSucks, and I are the leaders of DORIS.

MO: So what would you say is DORIS' greatest achievement?

Sonny: Wiping out several suburbs. Grigg Heights, Yagoton, Dulston, Lockettside, South Blythville, etc. Gibsonton sort of counts but that wasn't official DORIS. Santlerville too I guess. But I think being a viral group that has spread to almost every PKer group is an accomplishment. Also, getting plenty of survivors to create pker alts just to join us. I've lead the largest survivor organization, the largest zombie organization, and I feel DORIS is the biggest pker organization. I have no hate for the PKer Alliance or the Pker Hub, they are successful in their own way. But when you look at who is organizing the most PKer groups together and who is creating the most alliances? It's DORIS. Oh, and the Uprising doesn't count because they have survivor groups and fail.

MO: What sort of future plans (if any) do you have for DORIS? Would you only be able to tell me if you knew the next date a notable person would die?

Sonny: DORIS will continue to kill at random in unorganized attacks. Right now we're in Creedy because Pluto has returned and ordered us to. Also I'm starting to really work on the Pluto Press. We feel that the truth or at least something resembling it must be spread to the masses. When someone dies next that we deem important we're going to name them a Saint and kill in their honor. I don't know who though. We reviewed Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes, and Paul Newman but felt they didn't live up to Pluto enough to deem them worthy of Sainthood. So we'll have to wait and see.

MO: So what would you say if I told you president Bush was going to die on October 15th? editor's note: He didn't

Sonny: Sorry, can I answer that question later? I'm on the phone with the Secret Service.

MO: Sure. Moving on to you as a player, what would you say is the best moment of your career?

Sonny: That's tough. You can't compare survivors, pkers, and zombies. It's like apples, oranges, and rotted bananas.

As a survivor... probably Mall Tour 2006. I lead PARA, the Stanbury Renegades, and the Council of Leaders forces there while Cowboy Up led the CDF and Swiper led the ACC. We lost but we won a award for surviving the longest that wasn't Caiger.

As a PKer...just DORIS in general. That and all the stuff we did. Invasion of Gibsonton was a favorite but not my best. It was definitely a high point for me.

As a zombie...The Big Bash. When Graull asked me to get the RRF to help I joined right in and the Bash's numbers doubled. We had almost 80% red suburbs, no Ridleybank incursions, and not a single Green suburb. We had survivors left and right asking us for amnesty and there was a point where we were going to set up Survivor Bantustans for them to live in while we controlled Malton. It was probably my happiest time in the game.

--Labine50

Notes From Darby

Welcome to the latest edition of Notes From Darby. It's been a while since there's been an update, but no worries. I'm still very much alive....or am I a zed again.....???

Not much going on at Darby lately. Our numbers are still down, but at least holding steady. Our campus has been pretty quiet, but we are now moving to a slightly different area that hopefully will have more for us to accomplish. Lately it's been feast or famine. We've either been overrun with zeds or barely have had any to speak of. Such is life in Malton, I guess.

It's Halloween time in Malton again. Are we going to have more zeds around knocking on our safehouse doors trick or treating? Will we get costumes to wear to show off to our fellow survivors? Will we get candy old, stale candy to either risk eating ourselves or throw at the zeds from our safehouse windows? Ah, the kinds of things we must do to keep our interest up in Malton.

Have a spooky Halloween.

Until next time,

--Choppers McGee

Whatever That Means!

A Q&A column with the Chardon siblings. Got a question? Drop us a line! askachardon@gmail.com


Fun Corner

MO strip.png

-Tonyay163

Note from editor: Jayefex, creator of the Fun Corner's crossword, has been kidnapped by ninjapiratezombiemonkeyrobots and has been unable to prepare a crossword.

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