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Rummers are consistently encouraged to have a healthy habit of shooting everything. Allies, enemies and particularly our own leadership. Friendly fire is the most efficient method, as Rummers get twice the use out of each bullet, less AP is wasted searching for targets and none of us wear flak jackets.
? Bang. BANG BANG BANG ?
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Core Policy
Rummers are absolutely free to wander and shoot anyone and anything they like. This includes Rummers, allies and enemies. Particularly the leadership of Red Rum. Bang. BANG BANG BANG.
Red Rum Body Count
It currently stands at 10029 unfortunate souls. The following are our non-event reporting threads: Archive 1 (June '06 - Nov '06) Archive 2 (Nov '06 - April '07)
Archive 3 (July '07 - May '08)
Archive 4 (June '08 - October '09)
Current Record
Introduction
Are you tired of the stigma attached to murdering people for no adequately explainable reason?
We aren't about petty disputes and vendettas; we're creating a masterpiece. And you, my Mrh Cow friends, are the paint.
Current News
Red Ranch MK II
After a fortunate series of events, the Rummers have descended upon Brooksville to make an outdated, fun and traditionally American past time available to all. Survivors are encouraged to come and join in Hunting Season.
Dia De Los Muertos
It was that time of year again; the time for Red Rum to rise up and unleash its most infamous weapon; the Tommy Gun. Ashley Valentine, the groups ineffectual pair of pants, raked in 17 kills at Marven Mall, and has since been seen howling naked in the moonlight.
Nuxbank Nixbank
According to a reliable source, "the place has gone to shiznig […] for zombies and humans PKers killed EVERY THING!". Furthermore, our source went on to state "they killed all the zed groups as well damn red rum".
When asked, "wut", "are you high", he (?) replied "as apple ple", "apkofs", "sdg", and left suddenly.
As we all know, the more mysterious and incomprehensible a source, the more sekritive and reliable their information. We must therefore take this as gospel.
RIP
Nixbank
??/??/????—26/09/2010
“Good night, sweet prince.”
Success!
We won, huzza- Wait, what?
Vote!
Our own Misanthropy and Revenant are running for Mayor of Malton. You know what you do.
Read me.
Read me after.
Ch-ch-ch-changes!
Rummurs who have not checked in for some time may wish to do so. The game may or may not* be afoot.
Also, expect to see the news here updated with recently declassified reports of our more recent activities. Joy!
*Bounty Hunters: Nothing to see here
Site switchover
If you're reading this, you're probably aware that the old site has gone down. First of all, we would like to thank Soul-Fantasy for many years of free hosting, even past the point where their own site was operational. Secondly, we thank that dashing Scoundrell Karloth for the new hosting. ;)
Not everything is up and running yet due to a tendency to do things at the last possible moment, but rest assured, we have a full site backup and will be working on getting it all up and running again. Also, none of your posts should be lost. Except Sadie's, there was a blender incident…
In the meantime, create an account, log into the new forum, and rest assured that there is probably only a small chance of us completely cocking everything up. ;)
ALSOthetablesonthiswikipagemaywellbebrokenIwonderhowmancycharactersittakesmaybemorethantwittermaybenotbutwereabouttofindoutprobablyjustafewmorethatshouldjustaboutdoitmanthatsnotnearlyasbrokenasIwashopingkeepgoingfortheloveofgodkeepgoingthinkofEnglandandcountthestarslikeorionandtheploughextraneousuthereAmericanshaha
Tea Party at Caiger!
KILL THEMALL
Erp... we mean tea and biscuits. The Upper Left Corner is to be ruined with no delay!
Special News Bulletin
Caiger Mall has all but fallen to the ravenous hordes of gore-covered PKers and zombies alike. When will this madness end?! hint: most likely when everyone's dead
A Siesta in the South
Exhausted and sore from their (not so peaceful) exhibitions in Fort Creedy, the Rummers staggered southwards for some well deserved R&R and to soak up the warm August sun's rays. After dispersing through Buttonville and Wyke Hills, Rummers were appalled to find a complete lack of beaches, nor even a tanning bed in sight! Convinced that the Randoms were hiding the beaches and tanning beds just beyond the wall, Red Rum was incensed into violence. Ah, the lengths gone through for a good tan. After weeks of unsuccessful hunting, an intrepid Rummer came across a box of spray-on tan cans. Much rejoicing ensued and, with a rosy orange glow, Rummers continued on their merry way. Success!
Body Count: 194
The 2008 Inaugural Player Killer Olympiad
Welcome to Malton's First Player Killer Olympic Games!
The Player Killer community of Malton has raised the act of homicide to an art form such as humanity has never seen in its history. Let us no longer be deprived of sport by virtue of quarantine and the presence of the fetid undead. This September, the Player Killer community will gather in diabolical competition to learn who among our number are the best of the best at executing execution.
Across the city, over a multitude of organized events, Malton's Player Killers will have the opportunity to prove their mettle in the homicidal arts, and many, many innocent residents of the city will perish for our sport. Join your fellow psychopathic athletes in a quest for citywide recognition as one of the greatest at what you do - assassinating the cringing cattle that cowers in fear of the rotten hordes. Demonstrate yet again that in the face of our unpleasant infestation, that something beautiful can be created through destruction.
From now through August 29th we are soliciting input on rules, protocol, anything really. After that we've gotta close it and run with it.
For more information of all kinds, visit the Player Killer Olympics Page.
We here at Red Rum are at times more than just sick, crazed, malicious murderers with a penchant for breakfast-y confectioneries. We also enjoy peace, harmony, and the use of psychoactive agents to spread our message. We scoured Malton for the most oppressed location possible in order to liberate them from the grasp of "the Man" and free them from the tyrannical laws forced upon them; we found Fort Creedy. We invited the alive and dead in equal parts to share in our joyous, non-violent demonstrations, and they arrived with gusto. As we expected, the so called Creedy "Defense Force" immediately sought to shut down our peaceful activities with the use of a variety of melee weapons and live fire. We only wished to hold our expressionist movement in the Fort Creedy Exercise Yard (with, of course, a minimum of collateral damage), but this affront could not be ignored. Hippies of all walks of life (and unlife) stormed the fort, and it was quickly seized. Still suffering from taunts and slander handed out so freely by the totalitarian institution, we continued to shower free love upon the entire area, moving from the Fort to the Farmer Building, the Morrish Building, and finally to the collapse of Giddings Mall. Eventually coming back to their senses after their stock of herbs ran dry, the Creedystockers departed, knowing that their message had been sent.
Body Count: 105, Plus Countless Zombie Kills
What? You've never heard of Gulsonside?
Red Rum attempts to generate some publicity for the oft-ignored suburb of Gulsonside, but it turns out most of the Rummers couldn't find it, much less those surveyed on such related geographical inquiries. Our tourist agency went bankrupt before even getting off the ground due to poor financing and a lack of presidential bobble-heads. Ah well, such is the way of these things.
Body Count: 25
Along with our other hijinks, Red Rum has launched a newspaper. It's quick, concise and potentially deadly. Mmmhm.
PS Yus, we are in Monroeville. Watch yosef!
More or less May
After wandering aimlessly for a bit, searching for a meaning and purpose in life beyond drinking tea and hitting each other with hockey sticks, a call to arms of PKer groups was set forth by The Imperium Must Die Coalition to, you guessed it, kill the Imperium for a variety of transgressions which don't be detailed here. After a month-long invasion, the Imperium was unceremoniously disbanded and its leader, Gavriel Loken, quit for good. All in all, a wondrous experience, and we're all the better for it. Despite some rather petty editing by our fallen foes, the PKer cause once again won a rather decisive victory in the resulting arbitration. Good show all!
Body Count: 211
Aprilish: 4/5 NEVAR FORGET!
In accordance with the will of the Populat, Red Rum will be supporting DORIS in its drive to avenge the shocking death of Charlton Heston, who was slain by gun control activists in Lockettside in an attempt to pry the guns from his cold dead hands. In accordance with article 16 of the will of the Populat, Red Rum will assist in the suppression of all gun control activists in Lockettside. NRA-endorsed pistol ranges will be established in selected buildings to educate the public on their second amendment rights.
Body Count:82
Yeah..... Ooops?
Turns out we don't make the best survivors. After barricading, reviving, and generally being a helpful sort 'round the North-East, we finally snapped and a bloodbath ensued. With zombies swarming the area like a plague of locusts, we shot at everything with a pulse, including, as always, ourselves from time to time. The corpses piled up, our ammo dwindled, and with our pent-up lust finally appeased, we dispersed once more until our next gathering.
Body Count: 99
A Truce
It's now the 19th of March, and we've brokered a ceasefire (I've always wanted to use that phrase) with the Dulston Alliance that will last until The Dead are no longer a presence in the game. Well, most of the Dulston Alliance. The Friends of the Featherstone Library don't want to be part of this, which is disappointing but hardly surprising.
Something Awful / The Dead
Let's get down to brass tacks here, The Dead are not good for the game. This is nothing but a Something Awful forum goon invasion, and the only reason they're here is to troll the UD community and see how badly they can disrupt the game. You'd think that'd be right up our alley, but The Dead are basically making the game less fun for everyone. So until this problem gets sorted out, many Rummers will be going straight for a while and helping survivors. The more we minimize the impact of the Dead, and the quicker we said "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said FRESH and there were dice in the mirror. If anything I could tell this cab was rare, but I said "Nah forget it, yo holmes to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I said to the cabbie "Yo holmes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit in my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.
One True Vois Tour '08 - Turn of the New Year
In an ode to our mentally deteriorated leader's retirement, a tour was set upon in his ever-so-salty name. To kick it off, a party with the Quartly Librarians was held on New Year's Day;debauchery and bullets abounded, and everyone awoke with a terrible hangover. After passing around ample amounts of coffee, Rummers staggered over to the Malton City Zoo and said hello to the caretakers, with the occasional misfire. Quickly though, rumblings were felt throughout Malton. The reason? PKers were being slain left and right, all at the hands of Scour the Earth. Red Rum flocked to the Blythvilles and join Team Zombie Hardcore in fighting back against the oppression being wrought by StE. Nonetheless, we were able to do little but watch as both Rummers and the TZH were easily decimated by their rampage. Hearing that StE was basing itself in Tompson Mall, Red Rum rallied for one last bought on Valentine's Day, when they were to be at the most vulnerable. However, it was not to be, as they had been lying in wait for some time. Bodies piled up on both sides, and no prisoners were taken; even our photographer was not spared, and only impromptu pictures were taken. As the smoke cleared, no one was left standing in the quadrant the blood bath had taken place in.
Body Count: 102
- For events further in the past, see A History of Violence.
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