Red Rum/History

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-The Red Pants
-The Red Peasant
-The Red Raconteur
-The Red Tuesday

Current Nobility
Definitely More Than One.

Depleting Malton's Ammo Stores: One Mall At A Time.'

Body Count

Recruitment Policy
We ask only the following:
1. Shoot people that take the game crazily seriously,
2. Shoot the leadership,
3. Shoot malls and shit in coordinated attacks,
4. Leave your vendettas behind.
5. (Recommended) Have a pro-survivor and/or zombie alt.


Nuxbank Nixbank

According to a reliable source, "the place has gone to shiznig […] for zombies and humans PKers killed EVERY THING!". Furthermore, our source went on to state "they killed all the zed groups as well damn red rum".

When asked, "wut", "are you high", he (?) replied "as apple ple", "apkofs", "sdg", and left suddenly.

As we all know, the more mysterious and incomprehensible a source, the more sekritive and reliable their information. We must therefore take this as gospel.


“Good night, sweet prince.”


We won, huzza- Wait, what?


Our own Misanthropy and Revenant are running for Mayor of Malton. You know what you do.

Read me. Read me after.


Rummurs who have not checked in for some time may wish to do so. The game may or may not* be afoot.

Also, expect to see the news here updated with recently declassified reports of our more recent activities. Joy!

*Bounty Hunters: Nothing to see here


Site switchover

If you're reading this, you're probably aware that the old site has gone down. First of all, we would like to thank Soul-Fantasy for many years of free hosting, even past the point where their own site was operational. Secondly, we thank that dashing Scoundrell Karloth for the new hosting. ;)

Not everything is up and running yet due to a tendency to do things at the last possible moment, but rest assured, we have a full site backup and will be working on getting it all up and running again. Also, none of your posts should be lost. Except Sadie's, there was a blender incident…

In the meantime, create an account, log into the new forum, and rest assured that there is probably only a small chance of us completely cocking everything up. ;)

Tea Party at Caiger!


Erp... we mean tea and biscuits. The Upper Left Corner is to be ruined with no delay!

Special News Bulletin

Caiger Mall has all but fallen to the ravenous hordes of gore-covered PKers and zombies alike. When will this madness end?! hint: most likely when everyone's dead

A Siesta in the South

Exhausted and sore from their (not so peaceful) exhibitions in Fort Creedy, the Rummers staggered southwards for some well deserved R&R and to soak up the warm August sun's rays. After dispersing through Buttonville and Wyke Hills, Rummers were appalled to find a complete lack of beaches, nor even a tanning bed in sight! Convinced that the Randoms were hiding the beaches and tanning beds just beyond the wall, Red Rum was incensed into violence. Ah, the lengths gone through for a good tan. After weeks of unsuccessful hunting, an intrepid Rummer came across a box of spray-on tan cans. Much rejoicing ensued and, with a rosy orange glow, Rummers continued on their merry way. Success!

Body Count: 194


The 2008 Inaugural Player Killer Olympiad

Welcome to Malton's First Player Killer Olympic Games!

The Player Killer community of Malton has raised the act of homicide to an art form such as humanity has never seen in its history. Let us no longer be deprived of sport by virtue of quarantine and the presence of the fetid undead. This September, the Player Killer community will gather in diabolical competition to learn who among our number are the best of the best at executing execution.

Across the city, over a multitude of organized events, Malton's Player Killers will have the opportunity to prove their mettle in the homicidal arts, and many, many innocent residents of the city will perish for our sport. Join your fellow psychopathic athletes in a quest for citywide recognition as one of the greatest at what you do - assassinating the cringing cattle that cowers in fear of the rotten hordes. Demonstrate yet again that in the face of our unpleasant infestation, that something beautiful can be created through destruction.

From now through August 29th we are soliciting input on rules, protocol, anything really. After that we've gotta close it and run with it.

For more information of all kinds, visit the Player Killer Olympics Page.

Creedystock Music and Art Fair: Spread the Love

We here at Red Rum are at times more than just sick, crazed, malicious murderers with a penchant for breakfast-y confectioneries. We also enjoy peace, harmony, and the use of psychoactive agents to spread our message. We scoured Malton for the most oppressed location possible in order to liberate them from the grasp of "the Man" and free them from the tyrannical laws forced upon them; we found Fort Creedy. We invited the alive and dead in equal parts to share in our joyous, non-violent demonstrations, and they arrived with gusto. As we expected, the so called Creedy "Defense Force" immediately sought to shut down our peaceful activities with the use of a variety of melee weapons and live fire. We only wished to hold our expressionist movement in the Fort Creedy Exercise Yard (with, of course, a minimum of collateral damage), but this affront could not be ignored. Hippies of all walks of life (and unlife) stormed the fort, and it was quickly seized. Still suffering from taunts and slander handed out so freely by the totalitarian institution, we continued to shower free love upon the entire area, moving from the Fort to the Farmer Building, the Morrish Building, and finally to the collapse of Giddings Mall. Eventually coming back to their senses after their stock of herbs ran dry, the Creedystockers departed, knowing that their message had been sent.

Body Count: 105, Plus Countless Zombie Kills

What? You've never heard of Gulsonside?

Red Rum attempts to generate some publicity for the oft-ignored suburb of Gulsonside, but it turns out most of the Rummers couldn't find it, much less those surveyed on such related geographical inquiries. Our tourist agency went bankrupt before even getting off the ground due to poor financing and a lack of presidential bobble-heads. Ah well, such is the way of these things.

Body Count: 25

Juneish: Daily Ruminations

Along with our other hijinks, Red Rum has launched a newspaper. It's quick, concise and potentially deadly. Mmmhm.

PS Yus, we are in Monroeville. Watch yosef!

More or less May

After wandering aimlessly for a bit, searching for a meaning and purpose in life beyond drinking tea and hitting each other with hockey sticks, a call to arms of PKer groups was set forth by The Imperium Must Die Coalition to, you guessed it, kill the Imperium for a variety of transgressions which don't be detailed here. After a month-long invasion, the Imperium was unceremoniously disbanded and its leader, Gavriel Loken, quit for good. All in all, a wondrous experience, and we're all the better for it. Despite some rather petty editing by our fallen foes, the PKer cause once again won a rather decisive victory in the resulting arbitration. Good show all!

Body Count: 211

Aprilish: 4/5 NEVAR FORGET!

In accordance with the will of the Populat, Red Rum will be supporting DORIS in its drive to avenge the shocking death of Charlton Heston, who was slain by gun control activists in Lockettside in an attempt to pry the guns from his cold dead hands. In accordance with article 16 of the will of the Populat, Red Rum will assist in the suppression of all gun control activists in Lockettside. NRA-endorsed pistol ranges will be established in selected buildings to educate the public on their second amendment rights.

Body Count:82

Yeah..... Ooops?

Turns out we don't make the best survivors. After barricading, reviving, and generally being a helpful sort 'round the North-East, we finally snapped and a bloodbath ensued. With zombies swarming the area like a plague of locusts, we shot at everything with a pulse, including, as always, ourselves from time to time. The corpses piled up, our ammo dwindled, and with our pent-up lust finally appeased, we dispersed once more until our next gathering.

Body Count: 99

A Truce

It's now the 19th of March, and we've brokered a ceasefire (I've always wanted to use that phrase) with the Dulston Alliance that will last until The Dead are no longer a presence in the game. Well, most of the Dulston Alliance. The Friends of the Featherstone Library don't want to be part of this, which is disappointing but hardly surprising.

Something Awful / The Dead

Let's get down to brass tacks here, The Dead are not good for the game. This is nothing but a Something Awful forum goon invasion, and the only reason they're here is to troll the UD community and see how badly they can disrupt the game. You'd think that'd be right up our alley, but The Dead are basically making the game less fun for everyone. So until this problem gets sorted out, many Rummers will be going straight for a while and helping survivors. The more we minimize the impact of the Dead, and the quicker we said "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said FRESH and there were dice in the mirror. If anything I could tell this cab was rare, but I said "Nah forget it, yo holmes to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I said to the cabbie "Yo holmes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit in my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.

One True Vois Tour '08 - Turn of the New Year

In an ode to our mentally deteriorated leader's retirement, a tour was set upon in his ever-so-salty name. To kick it off, a party with the Quartly Librarians was held on New Year's Day;debauchery and bullets abounded, and everyone awoke with a terrible hangover. After passing around ample amounts of coffee, Rummers staggered over to the Malton City Zoo and said hello to the caretakers, with the occasional misfire. Quickly though, rumblings were felt throughout Malton. The reason? PKers were being slain left and right, all at the hands of Scour the Earth. Red Rum flocked to the Blythvilles and join Team Zombie Hardcore in fighting back against the oppression being wrought by StE. Nonetheless, we were able to do little but watch as both Rummers and the TZH were easily decimated by their rampage. Hearing that StE was basing itself in Tompson Mall, Red Rum rallied for one last bought on Valentine's Day, when they were to be at the most vulnerable. However, it was not to be, as they had been lying in wait for some time. Bodies piled up on both sides, and no prisoners were taken; even our photographer was not spared, and only impromptu pictures were taken. As the smoke cleared, no one was left standing in the quadrant the blood bath had taken place in.

Body Count: 102


December 4th through Christmas Eve

Whilst we rested in northern Malton after our ordeal in Jerusalem, it seems that trouble was brewing within the confines of the KG50. DK13, in an effort to "prepare" for the onslaught brought about by The Second Big Bash, expanded their operations north into Joachim Mall. Their DK13 Martial Law, as it was so dubbed, rocked the very foundations upon which the actions of a survivor group were founded upon. In a desperate effort to stop DK13's madness, Red Rum traveled southeast on a mission of mercy, heeding the cries of the estranged survivors of Joachim Mall. The soldiers of DK13 repaid our kind overture by impersonating Red Rum members and then shooting themselves in an act of desperate confusion, in order to ward us off from their new territory. As an unfortunate consequence of our selfless acts, Red Rum's reputation has yet to recover from the false accusations that DK13 has heaped upon us, ranging from assault to cold blooded murder. After the dust settled, a heap of bloodied and broken bodies was all that remained.

Body Count: 155

December 3rd - Red Rum ruins Caiger

Caiger Mall has fallen prey to Red Rum's Latrobe Crusade in what some are calling the Siege of Jerusalem itself. Ultimately, we slaughtered a mass of survivors. Body counts are still coming in have been... counted. Okay I (Turkmenbashi, and I have no wiki page worth speaking of) have to step in here. The Eastonwood Ferals did a seriously awesome effort, and we need to give props to those bastards, because they were fucking magnificent. I'm still going to say that we had some seriously badass timing though, because god damn we looked good on the day.

Body Count: 95

November until... whenever

Red Rum are proud to announce a brand new community service: we're maintaining (un)Safe Houses for the people of Malton. Our pilot (un)Safe House at the Latrobe Building has been a runaway success, and we're pleased to announce that we'll be expanding the program. Every Necrotech Building near Caiger Mall will now be part of our (un)Safe House program. We encourage survivors in the northwest to kick back and relax in these designated (un)Safe Houses, secure in the knowledge that their (un)Safety will be taken care of by diligent Red Rum staff.


Red Rum have been busy shooting things at Fort Perryn, finishing off the final two survivors in the gatehouse today. We might have been assisted in a small way to this aim by massed zombies, but that is debatable.

Sept 18th

The IRC is busier than ever. Join us at for hijinks and mischief.


The latest month brings a new Rum policy: Rummers are quite free to shoot anyone they choose, but are reminded to expend ammo in a friendly manner. They are particularly encouraged to shoot current Red Rum admin Suburban Ed, though any of the chief biscuits (except Karl) are fair game.

September 8th 2007

Red Rum hold a picnic in Ridleybank, combat reviving Blackmore with some strong tea. Rummers declare ultimate victory over the zombie hordes, shortly before being eaten.

15th August 2007

The forums are running smoothly. Lovely! The IRC is always open for nonsense:

August 2007

Red Rum are off for a vacation in New Baghdad. Keep in touch!

30th July 2007

Return to Caiger - We took a trip for the weekend to our favourite Mall. Rummers swarmed en masse with our new purchases on Sunday, causing a spot of bother for the active residents.

Body Count: 35

June 2007

Many Rummers were inspired by the group Tactical Area Rescue and decided to declare Martial Law in Wyke Hills so that the suburb may be truly safe for this group. Unfortunately for TAR, just as many Rummers felt like TAR needed to be shot to death. It provided some wonderfully comedic moments from Sharline Jade, who wasn't too pleased with our antics.

2nd May 2007

Red Rum has officially moved on from Rolt Heights and the war with the BAR, for pastures greener. Mutterings about a Battle Royale are unfounded, as are many rumours suggesting a variety of activities throughout the city.

In other news, karloth vois (aka "The Red Tape") has retired from the leadership due to senility, leaving behind c138, Shad and the (in)competent Staff Cabinet, as well as installing The Dancing Banana in his place as leader of the Strikers. He's confident they'll further the usual chaos admirably.

30th April 2007

Shad has accepted a further (and damn speedy) promotion into the cult of Super Admin, and is taking on joint leadership of Red Rum with c138 and karloth vois.

15th April 2007

Shad has accepted a promotion to admin, and will be overseeing all new applications to Red Rum. He can probably be bribed.

9th April 2007

Aleph has accepted a promotion to work alongside The Red Village Idiot as "Biscuit Socialist Comrades" in Red Rum's most reclusive of departments.

4th April 2007

Red Rum is holidaying in Rolt Heights with several member groups of the PKA. Scone, anyone?

Kills: 192

3rd April 2007

A new Department is born, the Stalkers. Both Shad and Strange have been promoted to overlords of this new domain.

1st April 2007

Red Rum descended on Giddings Mall and immediately began shouting, hitting people with golf clubs and healing them. Barricades were repaired, and survivors left confused.

Kills: Excluding friendly fire, none whatsoever!

30th March 2007

c138 has accepted her promotion to joint leadership of Red Rum, and is joining Karloth Vois in the position of benevolent dictator. As they're both sour Scots, decisions are expected to continue to run smoothly.

20th March 2007

Murray Jay Suskind has stepped up to take the mantle of leader of the Wanderers. We're still not voting for his Mayoral campaign, however.

15th March 2007

After a furious spray paint campaign to warn the good citizens of Ackland Mall of their impending doom, Red Rum joined several other murderous groups to bring Caesar's pain home. The result was quite the party, with no small volume of chaos.

This event was also home to the Malton Murder Awards Ceremony, with Red Rum taking several distinctive and hard-fought awards.

Red Rum Body Count: 76 (Post encumbrance)

14th March 2007

For his wonderful cartography work, tuttle freely has been sacrificed to the greater good and promoted into the staff team. He's also been given a new and highly secretive department to preside over.

13th March 2007

Leadership turnover: As of today, Sirens has stood down as leader of Red Rum, with Karloth Vois taking Sirens' place. Sirens may well still be around, just not in any official capacity.

St. Valentine's Massacre

With members of Red Rum behind the very coordination of event, we could hardly avoid joining the Cherubs in the slaughter. Despite all of the most notorious PKer groups attacking Bale Mall throughout the day, there remained one final corner standing with well over 100 survivors. Thankfully, Red Rum's main strike was still to come- cutting a great swathe through the standing population and putting a murderous end to Bale, Red Rum reminded Malton precisely where the bloody crown rests.

Body Count: 130


Christmas Eve Strike

Keeping in the spirit of Christmas, Red Rum decided to visit the unfortunate people of Lumber Mall with some early gifts. They spent a few minutes giving them out with help from their new friends in the AMSC, resulting in a very merry night indeed.

Body Count: 28

Two Weeks Later...

Shortly after the slaughter unleashed upon the people of Giddings Mall, people wanted to spill more blood. Another plot cooked up and a group of Rummers camped out in the SW corner of Joachim mall for over a week stocking up on weapons. Then, a mere sixteen days after the Giddings attack Joachim was hit and hit hard. Once again, on December 20th, 2006 the Rummers went to work. A highly confusing and wonderfully chaotic assault followed on all four corners of the mall, resulting in the deaths of 54 innocent shoppers and an ally. Given the short time span between assaults, it was a mightily impressive feat.

Body Count: 55

Older Events

Events previous to the creation of this list were listed on the Red Rum website, and are going to be put up for archive on the current website.

Body Count: 678

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