Shacknews

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Clock.png Historical Group
This historical group is no longer active. However, its wiki page is preserved to reflect the group's significance in Urban Dead history.


Shacknews
Comrade Maarten
Abbreviation: Shack
Group Numbers: Disbanded
Leadership: The Thread Mind
Goals: DNF, Brains...
Recruitment Policy: Inactive
Contact:

The Shacknews Zombie Horde is a group of like-minded brain-eaters who originally came to know each other through the website Shacknews. They enjoy video and computer gaming, ploughing the dirtbox, and brains. They are a transient zombie horde, with their beginnings around the Darnell Building in Wray Heights. Since then, they roam far and wide through Malton, searching for lamps, sand and even limes. Their primary objective is the acquisition of what is known to the general public as Dark Neutronic Feynmanium (DNF). If this cannot be found, they will settle for pre-order forms and beta keys.

Shacknews zombies and their fun-loving friends ransacked Caiger Mall a.k.a. Barhah Mall, but did not find DNF. In a DNF-deprived rampage, the Shack then tore through Yagoton, eating Bale Mall and then attacked Shearbank, ranshacking Stickling Mall after a two week siege. Yet, no DNF was found. The final battle was fought when Shacknews and friends ripped through Giddings Mall in Pitneybank like a tornado through a trailer park. In the ranshacked Giddings Mall, finally, DNF was found!

We have defeated every worthy foe in the game. Future generations will curse Comrade Maarten when they hear our name. Mothers will tell misbehaving children that Shacknews is in their closet waiting to ransack their room when they fall asleep. We have eaten many brains and clawed many faces, but we have left everyone's ears so that every shriek of every child at seeing their hideousness will be theirs to cherish -- every babe that weeps at their approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in their perfect ears.

Luckily for them, although Shacknews was the unstoppable force that steamrolled every supposedly immovable object in the game, certain shortsighted QA budget cuts were made at a critical stage. Key future-proofing tests were not run, and as a result it was not discovered until far too late that Shacknews is not Y2K7 compliant.

Thanks for all the brains. Goodbye.

http://dnffound.ytmnd.com/

Zombie Special Forces

The Zombie Special Forces make up the largest and most powerful contingent of the Shacknews Zombie Horde. Like Zombie Ninjas, they attack without warning, hit hard and fast, and stun you with the stench of their rotting flesh. They'll crawl through sewers or throw members of the group through second floor windows; they will do what ever it takes to get past the barricades and ransack the building.

Shacknews Day (T)Raiders

This subgroup of the Shacknews Zombie Horde is active during the day speculating for the best deals on the Brain Market. They'll invest all their AP for the chance of a large return in XP. Additionally, they are bringing their award winning, five step investment program to all the Harmanz of Malton, and personally demonstrating it to them. So far, everyone has been knocked dead with the program's success.

Unique Traits

Sometimes while shuffling along, the Horde can be heard chanting; brave survivors with tape recorders have captured the singing and made it available to the remaining general public. It has been surmised that this is the Horde Anthem.

History

  • December 22th, 2006 - There are currently 100 standing zeds inside The Brain Museum. Thanks, Shacknews, for the free buffet.
  • December 19-20th, 2006 - Shacknews zombies have been spotted shuffling towards The Brain Museum in Rhodenbank, planning to retire en masse inside that building.
  • December 18th, 2006 - It's all over. Eight (8) days after Shacknews began their attack on Giddings Mall and the surrounding areas, the northeast corner of the mall was ransacked by the Horde's own Solstice 'Shack([1]) (Screenshot: [2]). Less than 15 minutes later he ranshacked the NW corner too (Screenshot:[3]) The Shacknews Horde and its allies have destroyed the last of the Old Malls: Giddings Mall has been converted to a buffet, and all zombies are welcome! BARHAH!
  • Update: DNF has been located in the Northwest corner of Giddings Mall. Screenshot: [4] The Shackhorde now makes for parts unknown with its newly-acquired DNF. --New Coldness 01:56, 19 December 2006 (UTC)
  • December 14th, 2006 - The gauntlet is thrown. Shacknews and her allies challenge anyone to punch us in the face. You cannot stop us. You cannot even contain us. Come to Giddings Mall in Pitneybank for your last chance to kick us in our collective crotch.
  • December 12th, 2006 - The attack on Pitneybank has begun. Over 70 harmanz killed in buildings near the Mall by a medium size "ShackAttack". Meanwhile, both the NE corner of the Mall and the Morrish Building suffered double digit break-ins today. Zombies, let the party begin!
  • December 11th, 2006 - Advance elements of the Shackhorde began searching for DNF in Giddings Mall. Reports look favorable, and the rest of the horde has been called to join in the search.
  • December 9th, 2006 - In an amazing display of prestidigitation, physical prowess, and supercalifragilisticexpialidociousness, popular zombie actor Lord Warlock successfully floccinaucinihilipilificated Stickling Mall by ransacking it this morning in just under 32.7 seconds, causing several dozen harmanz to immediately succumb to a highly aggressive and hyperlethal form of pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. Not only does this set a new World Record in the Destruction category of the Undead Olympics, it also marks the second time His Lordship has ransacked a major mall. Harmanz on hand to witness the event were bullettooth'tony, bullettoothtony18, lerix123, lerix123123, AdamLee, and AnnaJLee, among others.
  • UPDATE -- It's all over: Stickling Mall has officially been ranshacked.
Grrrraaggghhhh!!!
  • December 8th, 2006 - Prime-time pundits have been speculating on whether the zombie horde currently assaulting Stickling Mall has spread itself too thin. The answer is a resounding: lol. As evidence, I present to you this illustration drawn by fledgeling zombie Gary the Llama which depicts the scene in Shearbank.
  • December 7th, 2006 - The Whippey Building has been demolished a mere 96 hours behind schedule. Chief Rheingold, the head of Shearbank's Civil Engineering Corps, personally oversaw the ransacking of the structure. Due to the smog generated during the deconstruction process, Shearbank's mayor has declared the suburb a "No-Breathing Zone". Humans inside Stickling Mall will have their respiratory systems removed in order to ensure compliance.
  • December 2nd, 2006 - So what exactly is "classy"? Zombies have positioned rotters at revive points and humans are generating zerg characters on a daily basis (greetings to the lookout). Who will win the metagaming war as human revive points clog and the Shacknews Horde shows no sign of losing interest? Will the barracading bandits and forum spies compromise Shacknews's plan to completely dominate Malton? Will Ron Burgundy kick the zed habit once and for all?
  • December 1st, 2006 - The recent uproar over a well-known news anchor's evening broadcast has the populace up in arms. Last night's Channel Four news ended with an unusual twist when the ever-classy Ron Burgundy decided to bid farewell to his viewers in an unprecedented manner. "Go F*** Yourself, Shearbank" is on the lips of every man, woman, and child this afternoon. In response to this shocking display of indiscretion, Shearbank's acting mayor Frank Vitchard has ordered the Whippey Building, which houses the power generators for Channel Four's news operations, destroyed. Traffic will be rerouted south of Stickling Mall for the next 48 hours while the structure is dismantled.
  • November 30th, 2006 - Ticket sales for the movie Feral Fury: My Life as a Ransacker are expected to be through the roof once it is released. Rumor has it that the production is the illegitimate love-child of popular zombie actor Lord Warlock and any one of several human ladies of the night. Wedding plans are in the works; the couple hopes to recite their vows admist the rubble of Stickling Mall. Internet user tiptickler69 had this to say about their matrimonial intentions:
lol @ wedding in stickling, eaten by zombies in 2 weeks
  • November 27th, 2006 - It's time to separate the casual players from the pros. The horde has begun its assault on Shearbank, fully intent on dropping a zed-bomb on Stickling Mall and taking down the largest coordinated human group in Malton. This time, it's for real: active barricadebots, healbots, headshotbots, and zergbots (greetings to Bishop A and Bishop A2) versus the unwashed mass of decaying flesh. Early attacks have been rebuffed thanks to counterspies. It's metagaming versus metagaming. Caiger was a joke. The call of glory beckons.
  • November 26th, 2006 - The Shacknews Horde would like to thank all the harmanz who take the time to revivify down and out zombies so that they may purchase harman skills before unceremoniously launching themselves from the seventh story of the nearest building. Without your valiant efforts, they would not have Body Building, Flak Jackets, and Steven King, who is well-known in television, had quite a bit of work experience, and recently passed away in the obscure suburb of Gulsonside. Truly an American icon.
  • November 21st, 2006 - There is a great disturbance in the Force. In response to allegations that human brains kidnap babies and cause cancer, an angry mob of ferals aided in the ranshacking of Bale Mall early this afternoon. Claims about the existence of DNF-powered Weapons of Mass Destruction within the mall remain unsubstantiated; however, recent intelligence indicates that there may be a correlation between the hue of DNF, which typically glows bright green, and suburbs of the same color.
  • November 20th, 2006 - The Shacknews horde invaded Bale Mall. The Southeast corner was breached after DNF posters were spotted on the barricades. Upon entering the mall and failing to find anyone to take their preorders the zombies proceeded to eat over 70 brains.
Mrh?
  • November 15th, 2006 - Dozens of Shacknews zombies were spotted shambling toward Yagoton, groaning something almost sounded like a complaint about chewing gum.
  • November 14th, 2006 - Caiger Mall: The Burning Crusade has finally been released. Several hundred harmanz in the areas surrounding Chudleyton have admitted to paying gold farmers to powerlevel their characters to undead status. Barhah Interactive is currently investigating the accounts of 5,000+ players suspected of using brainhax. Meanwhile, in what appears to be a server first, the Shacknews Horde has successfully 40-manned Becktown up to "that guy who uses cheap syringe attacks".
  • November 12th, 2006 - Chudleyton has been emptied of all human life and razed to the ground. No DNF was located; however, zombie generals channeled the spirit of Comrade Maarten to divine new possible locations of this elusive product. The zombies were heard to be moaning the words "Zharzh Brazzhard" while shambling away. Residents of Malton would be wise to avoid their path of destruction.
  • November 10th, 2006 - The Southwest corner of Caiger Mall has been ransacked by the Horde. Indeed, it's as if there is some kind of pattern to the attacks. The remaining survivors would be wise to notice this.
    • South-East corner has been ransacked "You smash through window displays and pull shelves from the wall." Deyd 17:51, 10 November 2006 (UTC)
    • And the North-East corner has been ransacked also "You smash through window displays and pull shelves from the wall." Deyd 18:23, 10 November 2006 (UTC)
    • Caiger has been completely taken and all survivors massacred ( http://img161.imageshack.us/img161/8006/caigermallhasfallen2006kb7.png ). A total, decisive victory for Shacknews and all zombies in Malton. The entirety of Malton is officially unsafe for any survivors in the wake of the battle.
  • November 9th, 2006 - The latest raid on Caiger Mall was a complete success. As of 10:43PM EST, the Northwest corner has been ransacked with over 100 zombies standing inside. The fall of Caiger is imminent. Bounty838 04:01, 10 November 2006 (UTC)
  • November 8th, 2006 - Caiger Mall is still under siege. Surprisingly, the Horde does not appear to be at their full strength. Many zombies were seen abandoning the Horde at dusk, murmering "GoWah ... GoWah ...". An explanation for this behaviour has not yet been determined.
  • November 1st, 2006 - Confusion reigns. The Horde is known to be operating in the area surrounding Caiger Mall, however they are not besieging the mall itself. Attacks seem to be alternating between the Mall and other facilities surrounding it, including libraries, Necrotech facilities, and video game stores that have recently begun taking DNF pre-orders. It is unknown whether this behaviour is random or the coordinated work of a brilliant tactician.
(UPDATE @ 20:50 EST, November 1st): The Horde have completely taken over The Latrobe Building. The zombies then ransacked the building in fury after discovering that the DNF pre-order forms were not sanctioned by 3DRealms.
  • October 26th, 2006 - It has begun. The Final Siege of Caiger Mall is underway, and Shacknews is proceeding at exactly the pace they wanted to. Harman Brainzzzz eaten and the first of an inescapably large amount of incursions was won. The Horde entered with about 1/2 it's strength and enjoyed aproximately 70 brains give or take a few.
  • October 24th, 2006 - Lull, lovely lull. Business at Ackland Mall is returning to normal, although many of the revivified survivors are now complaining about the lack of any beaches in Malton. The Horde's location is currently unknown.
  • October 17th, 2006 - The Horde have completely overrun Ackland Mall. Scattered reports indicate brief sightings of Ron Burgundy in the area among his dead and/or dying comrades. Bounty838 01:41, 18 October 2006 (BST)
  • October 15th, 2006 - The Horde, relentless in its pursuit of tender, tasty brains, followed the Blackmore survivors to Ackland Mall. The ever-classy Ron Burgundy anticipated this, and other alert survivors noticed the gathering storm front as the Shack Horde moved into Havercroft and paused to muster its full striking might. They quickly devised a survivor strategy of fading away to strike another day instead of holding the mall proper, concentrating on whittling away at the Shack Horde from low-key bases around the suburb. It is yet to be determined if this new approach by the harmanz will attenuate the slaughter, but one thing is for certain: The First Axiom of the Brainivorous Law dictates that the Shack Horde is after brains and appelflappen, not holding an empty mall.
(UPDATE @ 01:30 GMT, October 16th): The Horde ransacked one corner of the mall and turned another into a food court, though they left much of the buffet for later. Unofficial but reliable reports indicate that the Horde accumulated over 3100 XP in less than 20 minutes.
  • October 13th, 2006 - Less than 36 hours after beginning its assault, the Horde has cleared Nichols Mall. The first night of the siege tested the resolve of the defenders: of the 300+ who were there when the mall was first breached, only 150+ remained the following night. On the second night of the assault, and despite the survivor's concerted efforts to rebarricade the doors, the Horde broke through their defenses and laid waste to both the northeast and southeast corners of the mall. That proved to be opportunity enough for reinforcements, consisting of a detatchment of Ridleybank Resistance Front irregulars, to swarm in and clear the rest of the mall. And there was much appelflappen.
(UPDATE @ 15:50 GMT): The Blackmore Building has finally been ransacked. While no one group can claim all the glory, our Horde raiders have provided ongoing tactical support by denying Blackmore's defenders access to Nichols Mall. And by capturing and guarding the two Necrotech facilities nearest Nichols Mall, the Horde eliminated the possibility of humans organizing any significant counterassault to restore access to Nichols. And so, to everyone who thought Blackmore could never be defeated, the Horde has only this to say: "HAR HAR HAR HARMAN HAMBARGAHZ!"
  • October 9th, 2006 - the Horde has seemingly dissapated for the time being. Pole Mall is still under siege, but the zombie presence is down to the dozens rather than hundreds. All that is left of the Horde is a zesty scent of limes.
  • October 3rd, 2006 - the Horde overran Pole Mall in a coordinated attack which also knocked out zombie revival facilities in the area. Many of the new inhabitants were seen partaking of Appleflappen desserts in the food courts.
  • Late September, 2006 - the Horde was dispersing daily to spontaneously reunite at dusk, slowly moving west and south from the Darnell Building and into West Grayside proper. No group of survivors is left for long. Despite the oddly coordinated movements of the Horde, no specific pattern or goal to the attacks can be surmised. Despite the lack of goals, the Horde grows its ranks daily.

Groups We Have Eaten

Noteworthy Conquests

Our Allies

Related

Horde Raiders

Please Contribute!
This section is a work in progress. Shackers, please contribute to its development by removing any of your characters that weren't active within the horde.
  1. ZeroDPX, General, Founder
  2. Chronolith, General, Overmind Prime
  3. pchem, General, High Chancellor
  4. hey toxy, Intelligence Officer
  5. WheatusX, Intelligence Officer
  6. PKniss, Intelligence Officer
  7. 8Mikey, Intelligence Officer
  8. LunaShack, Senior Medical Officer
  9. TyphoidMarcus
  10. ShackBrainFeeder
  11. Aaarrrgh
  12. Lagomurray
  13. RoyDMercer
  14. Muhammad Ahlee
  15. AlexDude
  16. Alf Alpha
  17. Alphane
  18. Zombie's Tonsil
  19. Tonsil
  20. ant hillbilly
  21. ZugZerg
  22. AnalRotMaster
  23. aGnawingHunger
  24. Argoniz
  25. Choonks
  26. ArtilleryMarker
  27. AskedRelic
  28. Azul
  29. Jerusahat
  30. BanjoBoy666
  31. barbarian zombie
  32. Barnadead
  33. beastrabban
  34. DannyDevito
  35. blankone
  36. Bohhld
  37. esbiffy
  38. zombiestickah
  39. boredguy
  40. bounty838 shack
  41. Brettann Hudak Boice
  42. BulletPro
  43. burgertime1
  44. buroja
  45. Buzzbat
  46. CalibanX
  47. ScrawnyZombie
  48. Caoster
  49. CaptF
  50. Carazy
  51. CerealSam
  52. ChibiJosh
  53. ClayM
  54. CltcPrd
  55. BoltVanderhuge
  56. cokefiend
  57. Colleton
  58. ZomfusedUs
  59. cranman
  60. shackcreep
  61. CrimsonBlue
  62. crimsonhandhiro
  63. crummy
  64. Crunkfunk
  65. dustycowpoke
  66. D45hiz
  67. Daggothss
  68. dahanese
  69. dakrot
  70. Lochren
  71. das runt
  72. davislovestacobell
  73. shack deceiver
  74. WilliamHTaft
  75. deevee
  76. delataur
  77. DCVoltage
  78. funkykoval
  79. DimmonaZ
  80. Distinguished
  81. DeadDobbs
  82. DonkeyPopsicle
  83. rgdraconic
  84. Draugluin Beverage
  85. drodver's ghost
  86. Dusty Slim
  87. e v i l
  88. cousin ed
  89. Ebu
  90. Shacknews Ecks
  91. Edges77
  92. Futtbucker
  93. egg5hen
  94. ejectorpod
  95. Evil Benius
  96. Experiment IV
  97. Zombie FatherCrown
  98. cheinara
  99. FiReaNG3L
  100. Crestinghawk
  101. Flash Masta
  102. F1etch
  103. Gravi
  104. fr0x
  105. sabbypo
  106. FrayLo
  107. furiouscrak
  108. FushigiDenki
  109. JaneMansfield
  110. Gargy
  111. The Undead Llama
  112. succulent
  113. Yukeake
  114. Get Frisky
  115. FissionXuiptz
  116. Githy
  117. MeatMonster
  118. Gnowknayme
  119. goatjc
  120. Vorsim
  121. ZombieGonzo
  122. greatwhite87
  123. glarbus
  124. hamachisan
  125. HappyNoodle
  126. Hashdout
  127. Hellen Keller
  128. Zombie Smurf
  129. hirez
  130. Hizz
  131. hobbesPanache
  132. IAmRisen
  133. ICIP Shack
  134. Jack N McCahkoph
  135. indosauros
  136. Issakhar
  137. J33uk
  138. tunis
  139. jforman
  140. Brutus the Buckeye
  141. jlaw
  142. ShackerJon
  143. skl
  144. Peezdyits
  145. ironliver
  146. julesrules
  147. Undarius
  148. KingdoK
  149. ruinerfish
  150. dravenport
  151. Languid Heap
  152. Harabbas
  153. Lapskauz0r
  154. DaNines
  155. Loboca
  156. locash
  157. Sir Ridley
  158. losder5000
  159. losder6000
  160. losder7000
  161. Lumpymilk
  162. Lodid232
  163. Boral
  164. Maddog Delphi97
  165. magila
  166. Gustav Klimt
  167. mancide
  168. undeadManero
  169. Keldun
  170. downtownbakery
  171. wakwak
  172. megarust32
  173. mikecyb
  174. Mikkle
  175. Raben the Ravenous
  176. mindfck
  177. MintChipMadness
  178. missylu128
  179. Mister Groin
  180. MisterPhoton
  181. Modulus
  182. mooglebean
  183. Havron
  184. MrSEX
  185. ZombieLobo
  186. Mugwet
  187. MTSkull
  188. Violent Tom Tricorne
  189. Gareth Brown
  190. kryptninja
  191. Castro the Zombie
  192. omgwtfbbqz
  193. Nixxer
  194. Notext
  195. nuf3
  196. coldturkey
  197. Stigmar
  198. orgcaptainnemo
  199. OwenButler
  200. deathgun
  201. deadbreath
  202. Ligen
  203. Papaskot
  204. patcheee
  205. Stroggy
  206. pebui
  207. Stepha
  208. BaBing
  209. phokz
  210. Physio
  211. PlanetPerfecto
  212. Portax
  213. PowerofA
  214. project13
  215. frostyjoe
  216. Prozium
  217. pyrogen
  218. R4WK
  219. racer5
  220. Radula
  221. Rag and Bone Man
  222. Rasnowl
  223. CapnSheridan
  224. squeegeeboy
  225. jry1
  226. Depriest
  227. Rheingold
  228. RiceRocketeer
  229. Rich McMunch
  230. RobFlinn
  231. Rotten Deadite
  232. Samizuhl
  233. scanline
  234. scentl3ss
  235. SeaLlama
  236. smootykins
  237. SMshack
  238. Sergeon
  239. Shavenewok
  240. shatterbrain
  241. Daggo
  242. sigpro
  243. SiW73
  244. spozik
  245. Kneesakimbo
  246. SVohaul
  247. smaxx
  248. lafbal asd
  249. Snif
  250. snowwolf55
  251. Solstice 'Shack
  252. zombiewayne
  253. monkeytoman
  254. Sparhawke
  255. Awkerox
  256. Yasser Arafat
  257. SwiftyPants
  258. Occlusion
  259. zomboc
  260. thanee
  261. stickboy404
  262. thedoctorzombie
  263. argent OO
  264. TehChaz
  265. elmelon
  266. ChowingOnCat
  267. thetangent
  268. ZombieMD
  269. shacklurker
  270. TastySacks
  271. zombie le chuck
  272. tromblyj
  273. TroughLollie
  274. trove
  275. TroZ shack
  276. ttyRazor
  277. Koschei
  278. twostar
  279. Radiospook
  280. unleashedunleashed
  281. Well Seasoned
  282. ZombieRutherford
  283. shackvirus
  284. Visceral Monkey
  285. AlphaParticle
  286. WormMeat
  287. napking
  288. Xevo
  289. Xevoz
  290. Zombie5000
  291. renowned
  292. XocZombie
  293. zombie vault
  294. xxiv
  295. YamatoTwinkie
  296. yosemiteclimber
  297. Zakko2
  298. zombie2k
  299. Zhaneel
  300. Zipper76
  301. Zol44
  302. Zugashack


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