User:BobHammero/On the Wiki

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This is a list of the most awesome/hilarious/disturbing/intelligent shit that I have seen/been involved in on the wiki. I will try to keep it in more or less chronological order, unless I don't. ISN'T THAT FUN?


Jimbo, your ass, the Internet. Yes. –Bob Hammero ModB'cratTA 07:41, 20 July 2006 (BST)

For the last time, I'm not scanning my ass and posting it on the wiki. --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 07:45, 20 July 2006 (BST)

Please Die

"Then you should have noticed by now that I'm not going to bother listening to votes that don't bother to explain why they hate it.--Labine50 MHG|MalTel 06:45, 20 July 2006 (BST)"

You poor, retarded individual. Please tell me that you are inbred, 'cause I didn't think stupidity of your calibre could exist without, y'know, your dad knocking up your aunt. Anyway, we someone says that this idea is "unsalvagable", it means that THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN BE DONE TO FIX IT. People have stated, since the first power station suggestion you made, many reasons why this will not work. Now go and play in traffic, like a good little special-ed kiddie. –Xoid STFU! 06:55, 20 July 2006 (BST)

Amen to that. Labine. Find a new idea already. Cyberbob  Talk  07:08, 20 July 2006 (BST)

Fuck you.

That's all I'm saying.--Labine50 MHG|MalTel 07:02, 20 July 2006 (BST)

That's polite. Cyberbob  Talk  07:07, 20 July 2006 (BST)
I know. Ain't he sweet? Placing it at the bottom, instead of the top and all? –Xoid STFU! 07:10, 20 July 2006 (BST)
Awww, he's so cute. I bet someday he'll grow up and be a big wiki contributer and everything!Bob Hammero ModB'cratTA 07:23, 20 July 2006 (BST)

Re: Fuck you.

Previous message may be found here.

Aw. How sweet, you even placed the message at the wrong part of the page and all. Despite being told on multiple occasions to read the instructions at the top. Of course, you ignore that, and try yet another act of simple "Yeah, well fuck you!" in an attempt to get your critics to shut up? Why don't you actually try reading what people write and think. It ain't hard. If you did, you wouldn't have any problems here. –Xoid STFU! 07:11, 20 July 2006 (BST)

Not to mention the fact that deleting comments off your talk page like you have been doing is considered one of the lowest forms of cowardice. Cyberbob  Talk  07:13, 20 July 2006 (BST)

Previous message may be found here.
Uh huh. Seriously, it's not so much insulting to them, because we both know you aren't inbred, as it to you, because you seem to be thicker than even the most heavily inbred person I've ever met. –Xoid STFU! 07:19, 20 July 2006 (BST)
Previous message may be found here.
:-) You just made my day. Now if you'll just say that you are leaving the wiki, and never coming back, then I'll have it made. –Xoid STFU! 07:28, 20 July 2006 (BST)
*nods vigourously* Oh, please do. While you're at it, go on a vandalism spree so one of us can have the satisfaction of clicking "Block User". Cyberbob  Talk  07:31, 20 July 2006 (BST)
Me! Me! But let me warn you and give you the incremental bans in between your vandalisms so that you can eventually get the whole year, OK? –Bob Hammero ModB'cratTA 07:32, 20 July 2006 (BST)
And then, persuade someone else we don't like to try and start up a Misconduct case against us so we can drive them crying from the wiki, too! Cyberbob  Talk  07:33, 20 July 2006 (BST)

It's at the top. Happy?

The only reason I said fuck you was because you insulted my family which I am getting a little tired of hearing.--Labine50 MHG|MalTel 07:14, 20 July 2006 (BST)

I truely hope you burn in hell. You are the rudest mother fucking jack ass it has ever been my extreme displeasure to meet, and that's saying something on this wiki. Why don't you throw yourself off a building (That's in real life. If you need directions, turn around and get out of your chair.) and help make the wiki a better place.--Labine50 MHG|MalTel 07:23, 20 July 2006 (BST)

Dude, no one cares that you were insulted, and your suggestion was going to be spammed anyway. --Karlsbad 07:29, 20 July 2006 (BST)


Pwnage. All round. God I hope that pus-bucket goes and slits his wrists over this. That'd be so emo. –Xoid STFU! 07:30, 20 July 2006 (BST)

The sky's the limit when you're dreaming... Cyberbob  Talk  07:32, 20 July 2006 (BST)
Remember kids, it's down the road, not across the street! --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 07:34, 20 July 2006 (BST)
Knowing Labine, he'd fuck up and cut his finger trying to pick up the razor. Cyberbob  Talk  07:35, 20 July 2006 (BST)
Hopefully he'll bleed to death in the process. –Xoid STFU! 07:36, 20 July 2006 (BST)
Nah...his veins are too clogged up with what his mummy refers to as "puppy fat". Cyberbob  Talk  07:38, 20 July 2006 (BST)
Only in this case, it's actually derived from eating puppies. --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 07:39, 20 July 2006 (BST)
LMFAO. Cyberbob  Talk  07:40, 20 July 2006 (BST)
Maybe it will be a rusty razor. Tetanus FTW! –Bob Hammero ModB'cratTA 07:41, 20 July 2006 (BST)
Razor, nothin'. I'm rooting for a chainsaw. --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 07:44, 20 July 2006 (BST)
How is he going to use a chainsaw on himself? Remember, he has trouble controlling his left hand... Cyberbob  Talk  07:45, 20 July 2006 (BST)
Right now, I'm envisioning something like the process whereby soldiers in ancient times would fall on their swords. --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 07:47, 20 July 2006 (BST)
Slitting your wrists with a chainsaw would be a little excessive, wouldn't it? I mean, it's obvious that the guy has to type by banging his arms against the keyboard and hoping something intelligible comes out. –Bob Hammero ModB'cratTA 07:47, 20 July 2006 (BST)
Or seppuku, where they disembowel themselves and have someone behind them to behead them. We could rock off for the privilege to be the second guy... Cyberbob  Talk  07:49, 20 July 2006 (BST)
Too much is never enough, Bob. Besides, I've always pegged him as more of a face-typer myself. --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 07:51, 20 July 2006 (BST)
But he doesn't have a face. He has a head, and there's this... surface on it, with these sort of half-formed features... it's disgusting. Nothing there I would call a face. –Bob Hammero ModB'cratTA 07:54, 20 July 2006 (BST)
That's what happens when you type with your face. –Xoid STFU! 08:03, 20 July 2006 (BST)

Kill - You just dont get it. Adapt your tactics to suit the game. Dont adapt the game to suit your tactics. Sheesh. --Grim s-Mod U! 06:08, 19 July 2006 (BST)

  • Re So you're saying zombies shouldn't use ransack? Or that people were wrong to suggest that headshot shouldn't remove xp? The game has imbalances. You don't fix them by playing better, you fix them by suggesting. Please respond on the discussion page. --Jon Pyre 06:11, 19 July 2006 (BST)
    • Re - I am entitled to one re on this page historically, so here it is. Ransack was a skill added to the game to counter a severe balance issue that zombie metagaming was simply unable to do. Zombies are already about as organised as its possible to get. So far human metagame is limited to asking for revives and reporting pkers, except in rare and limited cases. There is no partnering up of players, there is no mutual aid going on. I consider this to be the baptism of fire for humans to go through, like zombies had to endure almost since the game started. Humans, for the most part, refuse to play smart. They hide in malls and they cluster up. The current numbers issue is because zombies have been better able to use their skillset to hammer the fooluish humans who no longer realise that their strategy is only playing into zombie talons. Once humans recognise this fact and start to spread apart, minimising losses from each breakin, and when they learn to run from hordes and scatter to the four winds when a horde is on approach they will survive, nay, thrive in the city. The problem is that after a year of turtling in police stations, hospitals and malls, human players are far too set in their ways to do anything about it themselves, thinking that Kevan will come through and stomp the mean ol zombies for them, as has historically been the case (though not, apparently, this time). At present the slide has been so slow that if you humans actually got up off your arses and actually worked together in a meaningful manner, you could not only halt the trend, but even reverse it. going it alone no longer works. Human players must adapt to game pressures or be destroyed. In the last year you have had it ludicrously easy and have had to learn precisely dick in order to survive well. Welcome to school. Time to learn how to survive instead of play "Walk outside and shoot a harmless Zombie". In short: Learn to survive instead of whining because what you have always done just isnt working anymore. --Grim s-Mod U! 08:29, 19 July 2006 (BST)
  • Re The reason I suggested talk page is because your re is longer than my suggestion. --Jon Pyre 09:48, 19 July 2006 (BST)


on your user page you spelled "Nazi"... "Natzi"... you damn fool. Have you ever picked up a textbook?-- 01:18, 18 July 2006 (BST)

You assume he can read. Keep in mind that the Nazi concentration camp was spelled "Auschwitz," not "Aushvitz." –Bob Hammero ModB'cratTA 01:21, 18 July 2006 (BST)
Well, I was assuming he could think, but with both of those typos, it seems my assumption was misplaced.-- 01:24, 18 July 2006 (BST)
What I want to know is if he can bleed. Did you see his latest suggestion. 'Black People', dear God, what a jerk. --Paradox244 02:42, 18 July 2006 (BST)
may God have mercy on your soul, dumbass-- 04:58, 18 July 2006 (BST)
Bandwagon! Beep Beep! Sonny Corleone WTF 05:00, 18 July 2006 (BST)
Oh no, the bandwagon ran over MrAushvitz! –Bob Hammero ModB'cratTA 05:11, 18 July 2006 (BST)
Ding dong the witch is dead... --Paradox244 17:00, 18 July 2006 (BST)
Like your opinions matter, even slightly, to me. Perhaps if you spent more time in the "kitchen", all of this could have been avoided. --MrAushvitz 02:01, 19 July 2006 (BST)
I don't get the "kitchen" punchline.--Thari 05:14, 19 July 2006 (BST)
Damn, bandwagon didn't kill him. Sonny Corleone WTF 05:29, 19 July 2006 (BST)
You're right, I see him twitching! Quick, driver, put 'er in reverse! –Bob Hammero ModB'cratTA 05:56, 19 July 2006 (BST)
Bandwagon! Vrooom Vrooom! Sonny Corleone WTF 05:59, 19 July 2006 (BST)
Faster, faster! He's trying to crawl away! Aim for his head! Aim for his head!! –Bob Hammero ModB'cratTA 06:04, 19 July 2006 (BST)
Bandwagon! Thump Thump. (I think we're running out of road ahead.) Sonny Corleone WTF 06:06, 19 July 2006 (BST)
Yeah, but I get some sort of bizarrely sick laugh out of cheering this on. –Bob Hammero ModB'cratTA 06:07, 19 July 2006 (BST)
Bandwagon! Thump Screech Kaplump Eeerrrrrrr. (Oh noes! MrAushvitz got caught under the tire and is stuck now.) Sonny Corleone WTF 06:13, 19 July 2006 (BST)
Oh noes! Nothing to do now but accelerate through that barbed wire ahead. –Bob Hammero ModB'cratTA 06:34, 19 July 2006 (BST)
Bandwagon! Rzzr Rzzr Rzzr Scraaaaaaape Huff Huff Vrrrr Vrrrr. (Managed to get the barbed wire caught around MrAushvitz. But then while driving it snagged and now it's dragging behind, caught around him.) Sonny Corleone WTF 06:38, 19 July 2006 (BST)
Damn! Well, good thing there is that patch of cacti, growing out of that rough gravel road. It sure is convenient! –Bob Hammero ModB'cratTA 06:41, 19 July 2006 (BST)
Bandwagon! Vrump Vrump Vrump Bump Chzzrt Chzzrt Cachug Cachug Fump Fump Errrrer Vrump. (It appears he came loose from under the tire. However we're now out of gas. Filled her up, backed up, and repeated to run him over. Would be a shame if all this spilled oil on him were to light up.) Sonny Corleone WTF 06:51, 19 July 2006 (BST)
Oh no, I feel so terrible. I accidentally dropped a lit blowtorch in the puddle of oil. Is that a bad thing? –Bob Hammero ModB'cratTA 07:02, 19 July 2006 (BST)
Bandwagon! Enrrrr Ennrrrr Kaboom Boom Boom Boom Schhhh Schzzzz! (Well now the bandwagon is on fire and MrAushvitz is sizzling.) Sonny Corleone WTF 16:06, 19 July 2006 (BST)
Takes away the keys and bitch slaps the driver. Points in the direction of the kitchen and gives a complimentary swift kick in the ass to send him home to his obviously retarded mother.. "KITCHEN!" --MrAushvitz 02:52, 24 July 2006 (BST)
Bandwagon! Beep beep! (You phail. Bandwagon wins.) Sonny Corleone WTF 02:59, 24 July 2006 (BST)
Can anyone read this at this point? Anywho, bandwagon. -- 343 U! 03:09, 29 July 2006 (BST)
Bandwagon FTW! --Paradox244 23:25, 29 July 2006 (BST)

07:56, July 15, 2006 Cyberbob240 (→For - Fixing bigoted retard's timestamp)

Spam - Players are already penalized for trying out both sides of the game by the retards who say "ZOMG U HAV ZOMBY SKILLS THAT MEANS U = ZOMBY SPY!!!" Don't penalize players for playing the game to the fullest by giving a free pass to those who don't. --Mookiemookie 12:30, 10 July 2006 (BST)

Spam - Boo hoo! I dont like being headshot instead of revived! It costs me 15ap! Wah!... Welcome to the hell a newbie zombie has to go through at first. If you dont want to get headshot at a revive point, dont die. --Grim s-Mod U! 13:07, 10 July 2006 (BST)

Vouch - As I've noted previously, Bob is my homeboy. Over and above that, the sheer quantity and excellent quality of his contributions put him leaps and bounds ahead of most other wiki users, and he's clearly shown himself to be one of the most level-headed, least drama-prone persons on here since the Amazing mess. If he isn't promoted, there's no justice in the world and you're all secretly Hitler inside. --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 07:02, 29 June 2006 (BST)

Keep -I dis agree with the above. Powered searchs are useless (Omgerz! another 0.0037% chance of finding XXXXX!), The game is un-balanced in the zombie's favor (Feeding drag, Ranscking, Infectious bite, Brain rot (It saves truck loads of AP), ect), and this is a good idea.--Labine50 MHG|MalTel 03:14, 29 June 2006 (BST)

I was refering to you and gage. And how many retarded monkey have you seen? (Other than me, beat you to the insult)--Labine50 MHG|MalTel 09:04, 1 July 2006 (BST)

I'd ask what prompted you to lump Gage (and only Gage) and I into one cohesive group, but I'm afraid that might prolong this conversation. Please get out unless by some miracle you actually have something worth saying for once. --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 09:09, 1 July 2006 (BST)

Implemented. Expect the Czech to arrive in the mail. He's also likely to be quite hammered. –Xoid STFU! 11:42, 5 July 2006 (BST)

You are too generous. The Czech arrived today. Nice chap, but a little dim. Brought a Czech lady with him, too, and let me tell you, she's something else.
But seriously, cool. I had pretty much assumed you never even noticed this. Guess I'd better put it up for deletion now. –Bob Hammero ModB'cratTA 17:51, 5 July 2006 (BST)

for the win?

you know to do the what!? --Bob Hammero TW!U! 09:25, 30 May 2006 (BST)

What teh done up. --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 09:34, 30 May 2006 (BST)
All in that house!? --Bob Hammero TW!U! 09:40, 30 May 2006 (BST)
Roof is raised!! --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 09:41, 30 May 2006 (BST)
But please tell me, is it in the house, yes what! --Bob Hammero TW!U! 09:48, 30 May 2006 (BST)
It is over what the house is, which is what!? --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 09:49, 30 May 2006 (BST)
Oooh. Gobbledy-gook. –Xoid STFU! 09:50, 30 May 2006 (BST)
Heathen. Can't you recognize Zen when you see it? --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 09:52, 30 May 2006 (BST)
We create poetry for the win! --Bob Hammero TW!U! 09:52, 30 May 2006 (BST)
WTFKOANS. --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 09:53, 30 May 2006 (BST)
Let roof raise for Bob Power! Double on quick, moderation! --Bob Hammero TW!U! 09:54, 30 May 2006 (BST)
T3H R4ND0M PO5T LOLZ0RZ!eleven!!1 --A Bothan Spy Mod WTF U! 09:55, 30 May 2006 (BST)
Roof raises, moderation flies! All suffering is caused by Ashton Kutcher. --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 09:58, 30 May 2006 (BST)
Bob Power Of Three, power up for abolishment! --Bob Hammero TW!U! 09:58, 30 May 2006 (BST)
Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart! GOOO... PLANET!!! --A Bothan Spy Mod WTF U! 09:59, 30 May 2006 (BST)
PS: O_o That's given me an idea for a template... --A Bothan Spy Mod WTF U! 10:00, 30 May 2006 (BST)
Autoban power is has commenced, we is kill you! KILLED! --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 10:01, 30 May 2006 (BST)
All your base is belong to Bobzors. That What For! --Grarghal Bob 10:05, 30 May 2006 (BST)
The what fuck, loves Bobs! --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 10:06, 30 May 2006 (BST)
Queen of Wands. Best. Webcomic. Ever. Why am I mentioning this? Make a template out of their version of captain planet: STFU! 10:07, 30 May 2006 (BST)
Huh. That's one of the few webcomics I've never read. Maybe I'll have to give it a shot. --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 10:10, 30 May 2006 (BST)

Bob power ultra four! Fire Siege Monkey, but do not repeat sir! --Bob Hammero TW!U! 10:09, 30 May 2006 (BST)

All death will deleted, have FSM! --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 10:12, 30 May 2006 (BST)

roof raisin

space station of truth! do the thing. --Bob Hammero TW!U! 10:00, 1 June 2006 (BST)

shriveled grapes/know no love/internets are crying. --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 10:02, 1 June 2006 (BST)
drunkard in the sky/with explosions of desire/RAISE THE ROOF JIMBO --Bob Hammero TW!U! 10:05, 1 June 2006 (BST)
Jimbo dance/is rage powdered/booze FTW. --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 10:07, 1 June 2006 (BST)
jimbo, power up for questions:
  • true or false?
  • if you had to choose a cat, would you?
  • how many times can the chicken cross its egg?
  • at the battle of civil war, why did texas win?
  • who is better, santa or elmo?
answer now! --Bob Hammero TW!U! 10:10, 1 June 2006 (BST)
Questions answer, crazy jeopardy:
  • Never.
  • Elves.
  • 42.
  • Women.
  • See above.
answer is! PWNED. --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 10:13, 1 June 2006 (BST)
after tabulation, the judges have ruled:
  • true
  • 50%
  • B-
  • midget
  • no
you have passed, good job, i will take "scenic elephants" for $73. --Bob Hammero TW!U! 10:15, 1 June 2006 (BST)
Ivy League has green power. Elephants trample your dreams. --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 10:21, 1 June 2006 (BST)
It's time both of you were classified as "Bong". It's the only classification that makes sense. –Xoid STFU! 10:32, 1 June 2006 (BST)
I'll get right on it :D --A Bothan Spy Mod WTF U! 10:35, 1 June 2006 (BST)
Hey! I'll have you both know that that is purely medicinal. --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 20:42, 1 June 2006 (BST)

The level of fallacy and logical inconsistencies in your "arguments" is absolutely hilarious. For example, you claim that I admit to knowing the person that reset your password - I admitting to knowing at least 10 people at my school that play urban dead, but I never claimed to know who the person was. Any point raised against yours are combatted by ad hominem attacks rather than legitimate logical arguments. 'AD HOMINEM ATTACKS ARE FALLACIOUS AND YOU ARE MAKING PEOPLE LAUGH AT YOU ON THE INTERNET' You bring absolutely every bit of this on yourself...your arbitration request is going to do nothing but inspire GANKBUS, et al copycats. Rasher 07:27, 19 April 2006 (BST)