Jerden Rules Crowbank

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Jerden Rules Crowbank
Jerden's Coat of Arms.png
Abbreviation: JRC
Group Numbers: Currently 3, hence recruiting
Leadership: Jerden
Goals: The acceptance that Jerden Rules Crowbank
Recruitment Policy: Anyone can join
Contact: Contact in-game, use this group's discussion page or our forum
mast image Short-wave Radio Info
The Crowbank suburb has the following active radio stations.

Freq: 26.16: Radio Crowbank


JRC are a group dedicated to maintaining that Jerden Rules Crowbank and to spreading this incontrovertible truth. Survivor, Zombie, PKers and Do-gooders are all welcome to join this noble quest, and may join for as long or as short as they like. As a group we believe that having fun in whatever way you want to is the best way to live in this crazy town, and we have decided that lunacy is incredibly enjoyable.

Our general activities include restoring Crowbank, killing enemies (they started it!), helping allies and JRC members and, if we have time, random acts of destruction and murder in surrounding suburbs, both because it's fun, and because it gets attention. We also die at the hands of vengeful killers and lurch outside as zombies with an alarming frequency, but that can't really be avoided. Still, that part of our activities only slows us down a bit, and we try to make that fun and productive as well. For example, Zombies are very good at preventing overcading in Crowbank.

Please put JRC if you join us, not Jerden Rules Crowbank. It's easier.

JRC is open to all offers of friendship from like minded groups. Add to our discussion page or our forum. We also welcome enemies with open arms and lots of bullets, but please oppose us politely. The exchange of banter with foes is appreciated and encouraged by JRC.


History

Some time ago, aimless and probably insane PKer Jerden (Profile here: http://www.urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=1919714 ) declared himself High Lord of Crowbank, for reasons unknown to all (including him). After a varied past, Jerden set up this group, Jerden Rules Crowbank, so that others may show support. It helps his ego. Unfortunately, not everyone agrees, and there have been many Regicides of the High Lord, mildly inconveniencing Jerden until someone got round to reviving him. Jerden demands they apologize and stop doing it - it hurts, emotionally and physically! Mildly inconvenience them, that'll show them! (Bullets and stab wounds are merely mild inconveniences in Malton.)

However, Jerden is not the mindless lunatic people may think he is. He has great pride in his suburb, and a strong sense of something warm and fuzzy exists withing his circle of friends, which means Leiter, Anja, and pretty much anyone who hails, heals or revives him.

The fact that people have joined JRC begs the question - who's crazier? Jerden, or the people who follow him?

News

Recent Events:

So, it appears to be "on". Let us wage a futile war for bizarre and probably false reasons. Who says Urban Dead isn't realistic? --Jerden 10:37, 21 August 2013 (BST)


Don't really know what happened... Something about impersonations amd whatever, the important thing is that I finally have a target to shoot at (Yay!) Anyways, blood on the floor and four more. Decider Inchief now lies behind a door. Two nill for JRC.

DISCLAIMER: This note was made by an underling of Jerden and may or may not or could impossibly yet still possibly reflect what he wants to be put on this page. Jerden could perhaps feel free to luckily erease this masochistic yet enriching and profitable post which has lately suspiciously resembled spam. Anyways, this was and still is on. --Leiter 19:32, 20 August 2013 (BST)


Okay, from now on let's treat all radio broadcasts with rampant paranoia as we remember that any broadcasts may be fraudulent. Not that that'll stop me using it, I love adding to paranoia and distrust, but if I want to say something and verify it, I'll post it here. Death to UD Far... Actually, let's not be too hasty just yet. --Jerden 18:55, 20 August 2013 (BST)


It appears that JRC have accidentally started a war with UD Fark, and it's sort of my fault. Let's get things clear:

26.16 MHz: "OK Jerden, this is Decider Inchief"
26.16 MHz: "of UD Fark. I'm at the Spragge" 
26.16 MHz: "and you may consider yourself to be at war" 
26.16 MHz: "henceforth."

In 20:20 hindsight, that was clearly a setup. Only an idiot would fall for it.

So, obviously, I rushed to the Spragge Building and killed Decider Inchief immediately!

Then later, he comes back annoyed (for some reason), and attacks me. I think of this as a continuation of the conflict.

Then:

26.16 MHz: "The Jerden way - make a fake announcement and then go kill" 
26.16 MHz: "whoever you want. Is this your leader Crowbank?" 
26.16 MHz: "Decider Inchief did not broadcast anything." 
26.16 MHz: "To avenge his murder, UD Fark declares a bounty on Jerden's" 
26.16 MHz: "scalp, and anyone who assists him. Broadcasting on the" 
26.16 MHz: "radio is one thing - unjustified PKing is another."

Well, I honestly didn't broadcast the original message, but I may have overreacted. I blame the shadowy "Crowbank Spring" for this. Seriously, someone wants JRC gone. I can't imagine why.

So, as this is all clearly a horrendous misunderstanding, why don't we act like mature adults, apologise, and forget that this ever happened?

Nah. LET THE WAR COMMENCE! I love a good bit of pointless, one sided, and easily avoidable violence! One-nil to Crowbank F.C.? --Jerden 22:21, 19 August 2013 (BST)


A note to our subjects: Somebody (or several somebodies) finds it funny to insult JRC, even impersonating me on the radio. Remember that pathetic attempts to damage the reputation of JRC will always fail, as 1) What reputation, morons? We're a bunch of PKers with delusions of grandeur, people don't exactly respect us, 2) we rule Crowbank for fun, not because we actually believe that everyone will agree with us like lemmings, and 3) All publicity is good publicity, so keep on getting people interested in the group you hate, we really don't care. This is not an attempt to get you to stop (Or is this reverse psychology? Or Reverse-reverse psychology? I dunno.), because I for one find childish insults funny. Monkeys throwing poo, keep on flinging, who are you really embarrassing here? --Jerden 18:11, 14 August 2013 (BST)


Crowbank is now safe. JRC don't want to be vain or anything like that, BUT IT WAS ALL US. ALL OF IT! Completely 100% JRC, honest. No need to thank us, but we will spare the lives of those who do so. However, Crowbank will never truly be safe until a strong leader is put into power, a leader who's name begins with J and ends with n... but let's leave it at that, shall we? Keep up the propaganda and barricade plans! --Jerden 19:21, 8 July 2013 (BST)

So, We're now back in Crowbank, doing a bit of fixing up of the area, increasing property values, that sort of thing. But we could do with all the help we can get! --Jerden 17:06, 29 June 2013 (BST)

Due to circumstances completely outside of JRC's control, Crowbank has been overrun. In about a day? Darn zombies. Anyway, the administration has elected to make a temporary tactical withdrawal from the endangered area, or in simple terms, Jerden's ran away for a bit. But he'll be back, and fully intends to assist in the reclaiming and rebuilding of Crowbank! You know, once the zombie horde's moved on. Futile last stands are for fools and heroes, and we in JRC are neither! Well, maybe fools, but definitely not heroes. --Jerden 21:06, 23 June 2013 (BST)


Some irritant keeps spraying over the High Lord's barricade notifications with obscene profanities such as "Jerden is a fool" and "No more Jerden." We want them to stop doing it, so tell us who they are, anyone with information! Or even better, kill them for us! There will be rewards! Perhaps a knighthood, or a earldom, or some other meaningless but prestige-granting title! --Jerden 18:20, 30 March 2013 (UTC)

Oh yes, and another person (or possibly the same person) is spraying insulting graffiti about the benevolent presence that is Anja Arnheim. Stuff completely tasteless and profane that it's not even funny. Their name, location, and ideally their head would also be liked (just so we're clear, that's the graffitiers head, NOT Anja's). We could stick it on a spike, and watch their zombie try and climb up and get it or something! --Jerden 18:29, 30 March 2013 (UTC)


Behold, Anja's master-piece, which JRC intend to promote via propaganda all across Crowbank. Once we find the Spraycans, of course:


70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79
60 wasteland
Lindsey Square
the Blocksidge Building
the Burfield Motel
the Curtice Building
Scallon Lane
the Leggetter Motel
a carpark
Dinwoodie Auto Repair
Peter General Hospital
60
61 the Grinham Building
a factory
Whitesides Bank
Dark
Willington Plaza
Hepplethwaite Place School
Dane Street Police Department
Pullinger Auto Repair
Morrell Bank
Dark
Court Street
Rillie Cinema
Dark
61
62 Club Head
Dark
Willshire Boulevard
St. Gregory's Hospital
the Nott Museum
St. Lorenzo's Church
Stickling Park
Burt Square Police Department
the Elsbury Arms
the Rishton Building
Birkbeck Alley
62
63 St. Emelia's Church
Harewood Park
Gear Alley
RP
Wootton Square
Club Dowdall
Dark
Nickols Drive
the Mydleham Building
Plummer Avenue
RP
Bruton Lane
Vautier Place School
63
64 Gajewski Boulevard Railway Station
Beer Place School
Kening Walk
Blight Park (Crowbank)
Templar Place
RP
Whitehorn Grove
Exon Alley Railway Station
MPM
Brely Avenue
Billings Way
the Beville Hotel
64
65 Wine Street
the Lathom Building
the Lawley Motel
the Spragge Building
Gerrish Square Fire Station
Pearse Grove
Kerby Street
Commins Bank
Dark
the Toop Motel
Billett Way
65
66 St. Eugene's Church
Style Towers
St. Piran's Church
Reay Park
Club Ainslie
Dark
Lavour Row
Shore Grove
RP
Clinch Way Police Department
Farbrother Cinema
Dark
the Meade Museum
66
67 Club Ravenhill
Dark
Frauley Row
Hely Avenue
a cemetery
RP
Manaton Way
Pennecard Park
wasteland
the Mahon Building
Brogan Boulevard School
Huttenbach Drive
67
68 Curdel Street
Floyde Walk
MacLaverty Road
Gayler Library
St. Birinus's Church
Blockwood Auto Repair
the Doubting Building
Rankin Grove
a carpark
Brickenden Park
68
69 the Horwill Hotel
Peryer Auto Repair
Chambers Alley
Anstee Towers
Waish Plaza
Hitchfield Alley
a carpark
a junkyard
the Crape Building
Spinney Alley Fire Station
69
70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79


LEGEND
Extremely Heavily Barricaded Very Strongly Barricaded No Barricades
Auto Repair Shops Hospitals Other (non-TRP)
Factories and
Power Stations
NecroTech Buildings Unbarricadable
Forts and Malls Police Departments
MPM: Mobile Phone Masts RP: Revive Points

--Jerden 19:35, 17 February 2013 (UTC)

In order to support this, Jerden gave this rousing speech from Burt street Police department on 26.16 MHz:

"Crowbank! Anyone else who is listening! This is the voice..."
"Of Jerden, High Lord of Crowbank! I have a message." 
"Crowbank has a barricade plan. I support it. So should you." 
"http://wiki.urbandead.com/index.php/PGG_Restoration_Program"
"It is irrelevant whether you support JRC's dictatocracy." 
"This is the People's Barricade Plan!"
"So next time you're spraying over my propaganda, damn kids,"
"stupid vandals, KEEP THE PART ABOUT THE BARRICADE LEVEL!"
"Else we all perish in an overly barricaded wasteland!"
"Lots of love, your benevolent dictator. Jerden has spoken."
"Okay, I also shouted a bit. For your own good! Bye Bye now!" 

--Jerden 12:12, 9 March 2013 (UTC)

For Older news, see the Jerden Rules Crowbank/News Archive.

Recruitment

Anyone can join JRC, as long as you are willing to say that Jerden Rules Crowbank (Or the Zamgrh equivalent, Garban ranz Gargazzb!rdbang) and follow a few simple rules (Written Below). Zombies are as welcome as the Living, as JRC seeks to appeal to both sides of Crowbank society. Jerden enjoys playing as both zombie and human, but JRC members can choose for themselves how they want to live/unlive.

If you join JRC you gain access to our Health Benefits (We won't shoot you) and Jerden promises to listen to your opinions. Whether or not he acts upon them is another matter, but he will at least listen and care. Finally, anything you do that doesn't break the rules on this page is technically legal in Crowbank, but very few people obey Jerden. Sorry, but we're currently trying to change that. Anyone crazy enough to help us out?

Rules (Members of the group must):

"Remember: With moderate power comes moderate responsibility" - Elan, Order of the stick #558

  • Never attack members of JRC. Seriously, don't. The punishment for breaking this rule is to be shot on sight at least once. (I know that shooting traitors actually breaks the first rule, but I'm writing these rules, not you. Shut up!)
  • Always say something before PKing someone. It's only polite, and pre-death one liners are cool. Plus it helps them to understand why they must die. Ignorance of JRC is a disease to be cured! However, we will forgive you if you forget this rule. Even Jerden does from time to time, and he feels bad about it.
  • Try not to PK newbies, but instead attempt to indoctrinate them in the ways of our group. Seriously, don't PK any Level 1s, as it's a bit cruel. It's hard enough from them. You choose for yourself when you think they need the stick and not the carrot.
  • Don't say anything that you wouldn't want someone to say to you in Urban Dead (ie no text rape or anything too offensive). Basically, keep it clean and in-game. After all, we might as well kill people politely!
  • Play fair. Don't use the tactics described as "unfair" by the Coalition for Fair Tactics, meaning no zerging, alt-abuse or forum spying.

Yeah, that's about it. You can do whatever you want as long as you stick to these few simple rules. You could spread our message of righteous dominance, by speech, radio or graffiti, you could heal people and defend Crowbank, you could kill our enemies, you could kill random people (preferably outside Crowbank, but I'm not going to judge you) - We do whatever we please. It's all good fun.

Amateur Philosophy

"I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more to be than a good dancer." Friedrich Nietzsche

Our Philosophy is simple (rather like Jerden's aims), and based around the fact that in Malton, Death is temporary and harmless, and so should provide the most fun possible for everyone. It doesn't matter what you do, how many players you kill or how many times you die, as long as you enjoy it. Whether you're informing people of the error of not inhabiting Crowbank, avenging JRC, reading the report of your death at the hands of a misguided fellow killer or simply smashing down barricades and eating Harman Bra!nz, a member of JRC will simply cackle with glee. If you kill them, they know you. If they kill you, they know you. If they know you, they know JRC. If they know JRC, the battle is half won. (The second half's harder, but who cares?)

Therefore dying or being revivified is not a problem, as it simply offers new opportunities, and getting killed or revived is pretty easy. This also means that PKing should not be viewed as evil, but just as another way of playing the game. Alternatively, PKer Killing is also a valid occupation, for the PKers who want to fit in with everyone else. Alternative to the Alternative, PKerKer Killing is another valid option, and really just preemptive self defense. Let's face it, accepting PKing means accepting that lot too. As legitimate targets. Jerden refers to this as "The Game", and it really is fun. They kill you, they hide, you kill them, you hide, and so on. It makes playing Urban Dead more fun for everyone involved, and that is JRC's intention.

But, I hear you say (Or maybe I'm just hearing voices...), some people don't want to die! So what? They'll get used to it! Being a Zombie's great fun! And getting revenge is pretty easy and very enjoyable if you feel like it (We don't mind dying, we just enjoy taking revenge!).

Also, we're Communist Monarchist Capitalist Anarchists, striving to install a Dictatocracy (A state of government in which a leader is held in power due the difficulty in getting him to shut up about it). Just so you know.

Register (These guys... these are your friends! Definite Green List!)

Add your name, Title and profile link below to show that your membership. Oh, and obviously add JRC as your group on your profile. How else will we become the most popular group in Malton?

Jerden, Self Proclaimed High Lord of Crowbank Normally found spraypainting propaganda and barricade notifications around Crowbank or killing bland, high level characters who really should know better than to stand around all non-descript. Those people need the excitement of a pointless death, and I'm happy to oblige!

Leiter, The Other Left Hand of Jerden Usually fixing the forums, making my wonderful voice heard on the air and every once in a while I decide to go out there and collect some unsuspecting yet never under lvl 35 heads (unless I know they are being controlled by someone with more experience of the game)

EOMK, Vagabond-Turned-Ambassador, Our current Ambassador outside Crowbank.

Friends and Supporters of Jerden Rules Crowbank (Green list)

“Am I not destroying my enemies when I make them my friends?” - Abraham Lincoln

DOYR (Deserving of your respect), SNBH (Should Not Be Harmed), PAGITATYCSYDMAMAKT (Probably A Good Idea To Add To Your Contacts So You Don't Make A Mistake And Kill Them):

  • Ex-member   FOXLION   Foxsilhouette.png. He fought as bravely as a lion and as cunningly as a Fox against those who deny our truth, that Jerden Rules Crowbank, and was very helpful. However, Foxlion didn't have the time to keep playing as a member of JRC, so he left, but he left happily and hopefully after having an enjoyable battle.
  • Ex-member Anja Arnheim. We're still on friendly terms, but she's too good for JRC and got fed up of the people she was trying to help assuming that her presence in a group that contained PKers made her a PKer. It's unfair, so she left.
  • Saya no Uta, honoured the High Lord with "All hail the supreme overlord of Crowbank! Jerden! *smiles*". It's that easy!
  • Armpit Odor, a fellow PKer of particular note as he said "Greetings, High Lord of Crowbank!" to Jerden. How friendly of him.
  • Actions speak a thousand words, but words are still helpful. With that in mind, Jim Thirlwell is added to this list for reviving Jerden and saying "Jerden, my friend. Wonderful to meet you! Here's a special something, for the true lord of Crowbank." It's nice when people show support.
  • Jerden is pleased to add Seraphina Saint ("*wary* pleased to meet you umm your majesty? I was just passing through...lovely town you have here") and Aronia Walth ("Great leadership, my lord! I alredy filed my papers for the Crowbank green card!" as well as providing healing after an attempted regicide) to this list, a pair of lovely ladies who really made him feel welcome in Crowbank. Of course, JRC are always welcome in our own domain, but sometimes it doesn't feel that way!
  • An enemy turned friend, a most polite Pistol Whipz (where do they get these crazy names from?), who declared that "Now that I found you Mr Jerden, i'd like to apologize, sorry. you arent such a bad guy after all". Just a note though, the correct form of address is "Your Awesomeness", not Mr, just so you all know.
  • The Spanish Inquisition - Our friendship began with conflict. We exchanged pleasantries and gunfire as we tried to kill each other. Our banter and insults on the discussion page were incredibly entertaining. While TSI were both more numerous and more competent than JRC, we did pretty well and there was a final score of TSI:23 JRC:18. We kind of got bored and gave up at that point, and ended on friendly terms, so we no longer try to kill each other. It just goes to show that just because you want someone dead, it doesn't mean you can't have fun and laugh along with them. A lesson that many of our current enemies could learn.

Enemies of Jerden Rules Crowbank (Red List, Kill When Convenient)

Brothers. Sisters. The whole city rises against us..." - Ezio Auditore da Firenze, Assassins Creed: Revelations

See Jerden Rules Crowbank: Enemies List. It's a fascinating read!

Disclaimer

Jerden Rules Crowbank is not technically a PKing group, merely one that has members that think that PKing is a fun, harmless and family-friendly way to spread their message. You don't have to PK to join the group, although remember that any enemies we may happen to make may not understand this subtle distinction. In fact, screw that, if they're our enemies they're probably not too considerate so they definitely won't understand. By majority consent, we're a bunch of vicious PKers.

JERDEN RULES CROWBANK!

Killer.jpg Player Killer Group
"One kills a man, one is an assassin; one kills millions, one is a conqueror; one kills everybody, one is a god."

This Group is a PKer Group and supports the act of Player Killing.


Hat.jpg Honor Among Thieves
This user or group supports the Honor Among Thieves Policy & finds that PKing is more fun when only innocents suffer.


Redskull.jpg Violence is quicker
Both diplomacy and violence solve problems. But violence is quicker.


Balance scale.jpg Fair Tactics Leader
This group leader has ratified the Coalition for Fair Tactics Group Pledge.


Fluck.jpg WANCk
This user or group is a WANCker and may even be WANCking right now!


Zambahandshake.JPG Civility
This user or group believes that while zambahz and humans must kill each other, they can still be civil about it.


CutePKer.jpg PKers are people too!
This user or group acknowledges the fact that PKers play a legitimate role in a zombie apocalypse and that they are people too.



Sgpicon1.gif Sacred Ground Policy Supporter
This user or group supports the Sacred Ground Policy and acknowledges that all Cemeteries in the city of Malton are considered Revivification Points.

A couple of useful JRC templates, to show support or to use for whatever JRC thinks would be a good idea:

Jerden's Coat of Arms.png Jerden Rules Crowbank
This user or group agrees that Jerden Rules Crowbank!


Jerden's Coat of Arms.png Jerden Rules Crowbank
Insert relevent text here