Mall Tour '06

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Clock.png Historical Group
This historical group is no longer active. However, its wiki page is preserved to reflect the group's significance in Urban Dead history.

Mall Tour '06
Abbreviation: MT06
Group Numbers: Check the stats page (We are currently at 49 members. That's right, we're the twenty-fifth largest group in Malton! And if you count our sister group, The Shining Ones, we're up over 200!) - but hey, surely all sane Zmobies want to join?
Leadership: The Mighty Warlord Xyu is our head tour-guide and holiday chalet co-ordinator. The Harrowed and Most Revered notthemilkybarkid is the father of our nation. Throctukes provides the cabaret under the stage name "Tartan Dangle". Honestly: how much leadership does it take to attack all the malls? Just get out there and do it!
Goals: To tour all the malls. And DESTROY THEM UTTERLY. And also to document the butterfly population of Malton (though that's taking a back seat to be honest)
Recruitment Policy: Be a Zmobie, Attack a mall.
Contact: Read this thread!

Historical Significance Section

This is more of a history page than a group page, as the Mall Tour has long since ended

The Mall Tour '06 was at one point the largest and most motivated zombie group in Urban Dead history, coming to 380 members and possibly up to a thousand invested zombies. Its creation is directly related to the events of the post-On Strike changes- the "large building change," which made it significantly easier for zombies to invade and destroy malls, and the large and motivated zombies in the Whetcombe Park region. Using a public post in the Unofficial Urban Dead Forums, the Tour methodically attacked and emptied malls across Malton from early January to early February, 2006. On March 19th, the Tour's leaders officially dissolved the group, seeing no reason to continue the assualt on Caiger. While some Tourists elected to stay and continue the siege of Caiger, many left to join The Shining Ones and other groups.

The After-Party!

If you're done at Caigar, but still feel like having a good time, come on over to Dunell Hills! We're having a good ole' time busting into the main offices of the DHPD and making some nice, juicy harman hambargarz. And while you're at it, sign up with The Shining Ones, the official group of the afterparty. Barhah!

Mall Tour History and Effects

The Mall Tour is considered a notable historical event in the History of Malton- it was the first public "touring" group, a cross between the styles of the RRF and the private Zmobie hordes. The publicity the tour garnered was considered one of the primary reasons for the explosive growth in members, and is partially responsible for the increased zombie fatality rate, leading to a Zmobie-to-Human Ratio of 45:55. The Tour was also one of the first groups to show the new weaknesses inherent in the malls, breaking open the majority of the Malls of Malton in rapid succession. Prior to the Large Building Modifications Malls had been seen as unbeatable bastions, which could only be breached by the most powerful of hordes, and the fall of a Mall was seen as an epic occasion. However, the final failure of the Mall Tour to defeat Caigar meant that their work was never finished, and Survivors began to see not all Malls as unbeatable strongholds but merely Caigar. To this day Caig ar has not been defeated. Whether this is due to the reputation of it causing huge numbers of survivors to flee to it (this phenomenon was seen during the Mall Tour, when many Malls fell remarkably easily because the majority of survivors had fled to Caigar) or because of its excellent geographical positioning is yet unclear, but it is undisputably the safest place in Malton for survivors, as the majority of zombie hordes will not even approach it.

Tour Style

The style of the Mall Tour assualts was simple- a mall was presented by the leadership and the zombies would amass at a corner of the mall, using the Large Building Code to invade the other sections of the mall once the barricades had fallen. The tour established private timed attack groups at the The January Siege of Giddings Mall, which assisted in the defeat, along with help from other established zombie hordes.

The Second Siege of Caigar

After the destruction of Ackland Mall, the zombies proceeded to the final target of the tour, Caiger. There was some disent within the ranks- some believed that the tour should skip Caiger and beseige the other malls a second time, eliminating any revived Survivors wanting to hold the malls all over again. However, Xyu lead the tour into Caiger, establishing the Zmobageddon policy. The Zmobageddon policy was to create a conflict-zone around the target, using the range of Feeding Groans to lead feral zombies to the mall. During this period, the barricades of Caiger were ignored, and the organized tour groups assualted the surrounding buildings, leading more zombies toward the center of the Zmobageddon area. This lead to the amassing of zombies at Pagram Library, the easist building to be breached that constantly contained the minimum 6 humans to trigger the maximum Feeding Groan.

Defeat and Aftermath of the Mall Tour

The tour assaulted Caiger mall with the hope that other zombie groups would assist in the seige. However, other zombie leaders saw the numbers of survivors pledged to defend Caiger and declined to attend. The fact that the popular consensus of every mall after being defeated by the Mall Tour was to initiate a rematch in the defence of Caiger, the numbers of survivors amassed to a point of three thousand players, with registered members of the Caiger Mall Survivors (plus their sister group, the Upper Left Corner), approaching six-hundred. The amount of survivors capible of using NecroNet Access led to accounts of characters revived and defending the mall again only fifteen minutes after death. This, combined with the KEF spying controversy, doomed the tour. The tour was officially disbanded on March 19th, Warlord Xyu having deciding to form a new group, The Shining Ones.


Xyu seems a little surprised at the new "Mighty Warlord" status, and denies leadership of the group. As Xyu is leader of the group, no one feels able to contradict this statement. Mall Tour isn't a traditional organised horde in any case - more a loose collective with the same mission: to remove the Malls from fleshy hands, and to add a little proper fear of Zmobies back into Malton. To this end, the actions of other hordes are embraced by Mall Tour '06 (we don't want credit for others work, we just want to share in the party afterwards!). Actual 'leadership' decisions are taken on a pretty ad-hoc basis, and attacks on multiple malls are a distinct possibility, but the main current tour venue is whichever mall the Mighty Warlord Xyu or the majority of the group members are conducting sightseeing tours at. Much of the nonsense spouted on the wiki page are Throctukes' fault. He's currently trying to provide the minimal level of administration and cabaret that any decent package holiday rampage requires. But don't expect decisions from him. Notthemilkybarkid is one of the most respected of the tourists, and as the person who invented Mall Tour '06 as a group, we owe our unliving thanks to him. Just don't trust him to organise stuff, he's usually still boozing from the last Mall.

Malls Targeted by the Mall Tour

January 3rd Stickling Mall, by the The Gray

January 3rd Nichols Mall, by the Pwotters

January 5th Tynte Mall, by the Mall Tour

January 7th Hildebrand Mall, by the Mall Tour

January 9th Woodroffe Mall, by the Mall Tour Winner of the Atticus Finch Award for Most Spirited Defence With No Hope Of Victory.

January 9th Marven Mall, by the MotA

January 11th Tompson Mall, by the MotA and The Undying Scourge

January 12th Lumber Mall, by the RRF strike force

January 12th Pole Mall, by the Mall Tour Winner of the "Most Zmobies groins kicked" award.

January 12th Joachim Mall, by the RRF

XXX Blesley Mall, was never actually assaulted by the Mall Tour! A pair of cunning exploit-explorers/playtesters/cheaters whipped the Mall entirely by using the now-fixed Action Overloading bug. The Mall Tour was blamed for the wipe, however, and did occupy the mall for a moment, but Blesley cannot have been said to have been conquered by anything more than clever PK'ers!

January 14th Mitchem Mall, by the Mall Tour

January 20th Buckley Mall, by the The Undying Scourge and the MotA, concurrent with the siege of Giddings.

January 20th Giddings Mall, by the Mall Tour (with aid from the RRF). Winners of the "Bring It On" award for Excellence of Defence.

January 21st Dowdney Mall, by the Mall Tour.

January 24th Treweeke Mall, by the Drunken Dead and Bela Lugosi Fan Klub with help from sections of Mall Tour

January 26th Bale Mall, by the Mall Tour, with The Gray in attendance. After the full force of the Mall Tour arrived from the side-trip to squash Treweeke, Zmobies were window shopping and touring Bale's walkways in less than a day.

January 27th Calvert Mall, by the Mall Tour. Winner of the Wooden Spoon of Shame.

January 29th Ackland Mall, Smashed by hundreds of ferals, the Pwotters, Ars Requiem, Zombie Inc, a loose peppering of RRF members and the leading edge of the Mall Tour horde.

Next Target


As the Mighty Warlord Xyu stood atop the Kening Building, he gazed out through the gore-splattered penthouse windows into East Becktown. There he beheld the celebrating Mall Tourists and their supporters ripping apart the suburb like a wet paper bag. And behind those glassy eyes, a thought occured in his twice-rotten brain. Xyu shambled across the room, his dessicated hand reached out, pointing towards the area around Caiger Mall below him.

His groans rattled out this command to the assembled Tour Guides, who waited on his wise words: "Tourists, we have a new objective. Our efforts will be focused into the five blocks around Caiger Mall itself. In the shadow of the Mall itself, we will enlighten the harman refugees. We will show them that the real consumer goods are not in the Malls themselves, but in the skulls of the people who dwell in them. And consume those goods we will."

The ZMOBAGEDDON Mini-Tracker

Note: This map isn't really being updated anymore.

  • Green: Caiger Mall
  • Yellow: Misc. Undestroyed Building
  • Blue: NecroTech Building
  • Red: Destroyed Building
  • Red and Blue: Destoyed NecroTech Building Zmobageddon Map

  • Building names are listed next to the map-row where they are located.
  • Red box marks the boundary of 5 steps from the mall.

Zmobageddon overview

The central Zmobageddon Zone has become a dangerous place for harmanz. The Tour wreaks havoc at will around the suburb, smashing into safehouses and resource centres with joyous abandon. Whilst direct attacks upon the Mall have yet to begin, the siege is well underway.

Guided Tour Groups

The Guided Tour Groups are collections of zombies who attack at set times to be more effective. They're split into four six hour attack windows, in which an attack time and location is chosen, and information is sent out to the group in the form of Private Messages on the desensitized boards. The organized Groups have accounted for every Mall Tour venue falling since Giddings.

The group sign-up thread is here:

  • Group One - The largest and most deadly of the Tour Groups. Led by Revolutionist this collection of elite zombies has scored an impressive number of mall-crushing victories, including the strike that killed Giddings Mall venue. Group One is often found attacking with the RRF Night Owls.
  • Group Two - Led by Farrago, this small but spirited group is the kinder, gentler side of the Tour.
  • Group Three - The most stylish group, led by Throctukes, has been seen drinking and singing their way across Malton. They've gained a well-deserved reputation as the party group of the Tour.
  • Group Four - The second largest group of the tour, led by the Mighty Warlord Xyu himself. This group has been seen marauding around the Zombaggedon area with increased viciousness since Xyu took command of it, his strategic genius is obviously the cause.
  • The Magical Mystery Tour - The newest group, led by the Kashara. Also known as Group Five, this tour doesn't operate within seperate timeslots like the other groups, but instead offers a broad series of attack times and locations for those who don't want to be tied down to a single playing window.

Mall Tour Status Tracker

Zombies that have helped us so far

Miscellaneous Media

Mall Tour '06 theme music

Download it here

Mall Tour '06 Jaunting Music

"Shopping" by Barenaked Ladies;
"Been Caught Stealing" by Jane's Addiction;
"Shopping For Blood" by Franz Ferdinand;
"The Living Dead" by Phantom Planet (And from the Stubbs The Zombie soundtrack no less...)
"We Want More" by The Living End


Yes, we know that's not how The Man wants us to spell Caigar (sic). But we don't want our karma to be stolen by the letter-tyranny of the fleshy oppressors. We're using the traditional, Old Maltonian spelling. We're the Zmobies and if the fleshies don't like it well, we'll eat their brains and change their minds.

Also, the Mall Tour approved alternate spelling of "Zombie" is "Zmobie" for similar reasons. Hey, stop beating me with the fire axe of your disapproval, man!

Mall Tour official Death Rattle Friendly Singalong

Want to announce to the survivors that you're not just a feral - they really are on the receiving end of Mall Tour (and are hence screwed)? Of course you do! Who wouldn't?

What's that? Zmobie George Formby wouldn't?

True. So true. But! What if he could herald the tour through the medium of sweet, sweet, ukulele-accompanied song? Awww yeahhh....

Marrh Zahrh

Marrh Zahrh! Marrh Zahrh! Marrh Zahrh! Marrh Zahrh! Marrh Zahrh! Marrh Zahrh!

(Mrh? Graaaaaaagh!)

Marrh Zahrh!

(Mrh? Graaaaaaagh!)

Marrh Zahrh!

(Graaaaaaaagh! Mrh?)

Narh! Marrh Zahrh!

Arrh zhra zahmbahz arh arn zhra MARRH ZAHRH! Marrh zahrh! Marrh zahrh!

Grab arrh man ang harm man arn zhra MARRH ZAHRH!

<funky drum break - I know you can't *say* that, just hit things rhythmically>


harman harmarnz arn zhra Mahr zahrh!

zahmbahz arn za grahhzg grahhzg Marr Zahrh

zahmbahz maggrng mahzrg

Manz arh maggrng zgramng

arn zhra grahhzg grahhzg zahmbah MARRH ZAHRH!

Good Lord what have we started?

Dunno about notthemilkybarkid or Mighty Warlord (despite his protestations) Xyu, but the Cabaret act certainly didn't expect to get the number of tourists on board that we have. Mall Tour is currently the second largest group in Malton. Not bad for a loose collective with little real leadership, no aim, a stupid wiki page and some - frankly - very surprised founders.

Having created a monster, though, we feel we should try to make it as bowel-looseningly frightening for the survivors as possible. That way, their innards have less bitter, bitter chocolate in them. So, Zmobies of Malton.... Join Us! Stop being on strike! Zmobiedom is fantastic fun now! Join the Tour! Make us the biggest group by the time we get to Caigar! Let's *really* scare 'em!


-" Tartan Dangle" - January 8th, 2006

Dispassionate Appeal from a fallen Calvert Mall Defender

Dear Tour Coordinators and others whom it may concern,

As soon as you all hear the name Calvert, retardation must come to mind. We were alive for two days, during which we didn't even hold. I was the leader of one of the groups pledging to protect the Mall, and I must commend you on doing something right. You got a group motivated, and that is key. Okay, maybe it's not that hard being zmobies and all to be united under one banner of good vs. evil (that's right, I just called us evil), but it's still key to having any endeavour succeed.

You see... even though Mall Defence was new to me, and since then I've learned the error of my ways, our failure was due in large part not to our inadequacy. Okay, maybe that was the big part, but I saw a much bigger problem.

Once the horde was upon us, people began dissenting. We were understaffed, but that didn't change the fact that people just didn't want to hold the mall. People were shouting to give up, that to die at Calvert was useless, and to fall back to Caiger. I'll admit that I'm currently alive now because I ran to Caiger, but that's only after the mall had completely fallen. It may have been useless to die back there, but if I did, maybe I wouldn't have this little twinge of guilt every time I see it's name (you can tell I'm an RPer, right?).

Okay, maybe not, but still. You're still kicking your asses. Even if you don't make it at Caiger, which is very likely, you still got every other one out there (despite their not even coming close to comparing to Caiger). It is my firm belief that if you will never get through the breach. The surrounding suburbs have been sufficiently thrashed but are being taken back over by survivors. Our numbers are huge, we're loyal, and competent. I will do my best to hold against you, as is my duty as a Caiger defender but know that a small part of me is rooting for you....

That part may be my leg that one of you bit. I hope you liked the shotgun shell to the head, and thank you for your jawbone which you can have back if you would like (Its starting to smell).

--Director of the now defunct Calvert Mall Resistance

Map of the Mall Tour '06