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About Me

Neutral Evil
Red. Or black.
Nuke the n00bs. Or France.

Instant Messengers

  • AIM: [removed]
  • MSN: [removed]
  • Yahoo ID: [removed]
Notice: This is my page.
Please review the UrbanDead Wiki Policy before telling me what I can and can't do on it. If you have a problem, calmly and courteously ask me about it on my talk page. That being said, I am not aggressive about maintenence tasks, like fixing a dodgy category or something.

Templates A

Redskull.jpg Lean Mean, Deletion Machine
Xoid deletes crap at an alarming rate.
Mkpirate.GIF Template Junkie
Xoid is a template junkie.
Books.jpg Things Best Forgotten
This User page has an Archive.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1?"
"Yes I am B2…"
"It's template time!"

Templates B1

Aussieflag.JPG Australian
This user is Australian.
Justice.PNG Fear my +5 Flail of Red Tape
This user was a Bureaucrat.
PQN Banner
This sysop has banned PQN 3 time(s).
Un-w.png Project UnWelcome Member
Need help? Piss off.

Templates B2

Noose.jpg The Ropes
This user thinks we should show n00bs, imbeciles and this guy the ropes.
Pluto.jpg 8/24 - NEVAR FORGET!
This user or group remembers Pluto.
Zombiespy.gif Zombie Spy
Xoid may or may not be a zombie spy.
Hail the Dopefish! Swim swim hungry!
This user belives that Dopefish lives!
Money tree.jpg Money Tree
Money Really Does Grow On Trees!
Pie.jpg Piebtration
This user believes that pie duels can solve most problems in life.
Spam1.jpg Sheizer List
Proud to be on MrAushvitz's Sheizer List
Smiley.jpg Popularity
This user is ranked 6 on the most-linked to pages list!
Fire.jpg Hell
This user is going to Hell.
Nixon.JPG Jjamesgate
The biggest abuse of Vandal Banning and Arbitration since Wikigate.
Winduhs.PNG Windows Sucks
This user thinks Windows is a load of shit.
Burnthewitch.jpg Burn Her! She's a Witch!
This user is on a witch hunt and will burn any witch they find.
Nobrain.png Ban Stupidity
This user or group does not tolerate stupid people.
This user or group is associated with The PKer Alliance
Dual nature.JPG Dual Nature
This user supports the
Dual Nature Policy.
KillpatheticBill.gif Hunt him down!
Pathetic Bill must be killed and sent back to hell, where he belongs!

Cookies! (and Muffins)

Fresh cookies at the top, stale cookies at the bottom.

Muffin.jpg A FREE MUFFIN
Thari has given Xoid a free muffin for removing two tumors from the wiki.
Cookie.jpg A FREE COOKIE
Coolo has given Xoid a cookie for using CharlieMarrow as tissue paper when smiting him with his all powerful moderation powers at Certified=Insane's talk page.
Cookie.jpg A FREE COOKIE
A1C Jerry has given Xoid a cookie for helping him with his signature. And that he has always wanted to hand out a cookie.
Cookie.jpg A FREE COOKIE
DarkStar2374383 has given Xoid a cookie for cleaning up the idiocy
Cookie.jpg A FREE COOKIE
Bob Hammero has given Xoid a cookie for banning Godmazing.
Cookie.jpg A FREE COOKIE
Darth Sensitive has given Xoid a cookie for defeating the 3pwv by himself.

Templates C

ASS-logo-draft-1.png ASSault Supporter
This user or group supports ASS's current ASSault.
Wagon.jpg Bandwagon
This user has jumped on
the template bandwagon.
BananaBearHead.jpg Fucking Pwnage!
God bless the Banana Bear and his mased potato-damaged keyboard.
Block.jpg Blockerer
This user loves blocking wiki pages with those sweet 9-block templates.
Hoard.jpg HOARD
This user recognizes the difference between a horde and a hoard.
Mamamia.jpg Mama Mia! Mama Mia!
This user finds thunderbolts and
 lightning very, very frightening.
ErrorUgly.png Ugly Templates
This user supports the use of ugly templates on the wiki.
Noob.gif STFU n00b!
This user recognizes the difference between a newbie and a n00b.
Block.jpg Stupid Blockerers!
Xoid wants other users to learn how to block a wiki page before they try.
Concert.jpg Zombie Karaoke
This undead user enjoys serenading survivors when visiting safehouses.


Joined: 2005-12-27
Character Details: UD Profile
Character Class: Corpse
Current Status: Alive
Level: 41
Affiliation: Red Rum
Location: Uh… somewhere
Favorite Equipment: Flak Jacket
Favorite Weapon: Shotgun & Pistol
Backup Weapon: Fire Axe
Kills: 54 (32)
Deaths: 104
Shutdowns: 4/0
Been Revived: 34 times
Revived Others: 1 times
Anton Howard
Joined: 2005-12-28
Character Details: UD Profile
Character Class: Civilian – Cop
Current Status: Undead
Level: 41
Affiliation: ASS
Location: Eh… somewhere
Favorite Equipment: Flak Jacket
Favorite Weapon: Claws
Backup Weapon: Neck Lurch
Kills: 40 (57)
Deaths: 83
Shutdowns: 6/3
Been Revived: 40 times
Revived Others: 4 times
Joined: 2006-04-11
Character Details: UD Profile
Character Class: Civilian – Firefighter
Current Status: Undead
Level: 41
Affiliation: DORIS
Location: Ah… somewhere
Favorite Equipment: Flak Jacket
Favorite Weapon: Claws
Backup Weapon: Uh… Death Rattle?
Kills: 66
Deaths: 100
Shutdowns: 12/6
Been Revived: 33 times
Revived Others: 6 times
Joined: 2006-06-10
Character Details: UD Profile
Character Class: Military – Private
Current Status: Undead
Level: 38
Affiliation: Minions of the Apocalypse
Location: Um… somewhere
Favorite Equipment: Flak Jacket
Favorite Weapon: Claws
Backup Weapon: Er… Death Rattle
Kills: 35
Deaths: 41
Shutdowns: 0/1
Been Revived: 8 times
Revived Others: 0 times


This user has left the wiki.
You can leave them a message, but don’t expect a reply.
The v.jpg Remember, Remember the 5th of November
This user or group supports the idiots giving a free meal to the undead in Ridleybank. On the 5th of November, they will march on the choked heart of Malton and be slaughtered mercilessly. Death will be theirs, and with it, humiliation!
Nuke 'em all! Don't Delete the Fucking Wiki
This user thinks the Urban Dead Wiki is full of n00bs, and is trying to save it. But still hopes the n00bs get nuked from orbit. Twice.

My User Page Look Funny to You Boy?

That would be because you are using the abysmal, shit sucking browser that is Internet Explorer. Get an updated version of it, or why not try a browser that actually supports the standards of the web?

Alternatively, you may just have a small monitor. :-p

My contributions to this wiki

Stuff I have spent way too much time fixing

  • Category:Fire Stations. (Of course, once I finished doing what I needed to with the first page like that, the next batch were much easier to clean up)
  • Caiger Mall
  • Location Block Style Guide
  • Templates! — at least half of the templates have been cleanned up by me, in some form or another.
  • User talk:Xoid Yeah, that's right. Can't people observe proper formatting?
  • This page! See the colored background? Yeah, I stole that from Mia Kristos who stole it from here, who stole it from MySpace, who stole it from Jack the Ripper, who…
    Just wait for User:Xoid 3.5E — it'll include another midget and even bigger sex toys. It just keeps gettin' better!
    Disclaimer: if you're stupid enough to belive that I'm serious, you need to go find Gidget the Midget. Don't look that up, you don't want to know.

Other Stuff

  • Deletions. I'm responsible for a goddamned plethora of 'em.
  • Location pages. I've made some, and fixed shitloads others.
  • Disambiguations. I've made many, and fixed shitloads others.
  • Project UnWelcome. I thought that it would probably get deleted, but I just had to do it. The temptation was too high. Hagnat couldn't have given it better publicity than putting it up for deletion. If it doesn't get deleted, and Project UnWelcome members outnumber the Project Welcome members… then I bet Hagnat is gonna be banging his head on the coffee table.
  • Categories. I've been categorising damn near anything I can get my hands onto.
    UPDATE: The verdict was a unanimous keep. Hagnat's evil plans have been foiled!
  • Locations List. Helped Conndraka out with his lil' side project. Of course, Brizth had to go and automate the process, didn't he. That wascally devil.
  • {{Cinema Status}} - Made it in a few minutes for Satandisc's little Cinema Status project.
  • Swearing. I've been doing a fucking lot of it lately.
  • Oh yeah, I'm a moderator now. Perma-bans for everybody!
  • A smarter voting system — The brainchild of a number of people, each one giving valuable feedback. I did however, write the thing, as well as fine tuning it considerably. It has been revealed that it is imperfect, but now that it has passed, it'll be easier to fine tune it than previously.
  • {{locationblock}} — While this was Mia's brainchild and both the form and the impetus to remake the old template were hers; I've still responsible for wasting a considerable amount of time fine tuning it.
  • UDWiki:Moderation/Policy Discussion/Move the Moderation Pages — This looks like it'll go through. I really have to hand it to the voters though for not having a knee-jerk reaction and actually reading through the reasons why this is an excellent idea.
    UPDATE: With the exception of indifference from one voter, and another who voted against (but couldn't even sign properly), it was a unanimous "For". Another victory for common sense.
  • MediaWiki — Although minor, I have made a few changes to things in the MediaWiki namespace; namely the 2 day block feature, making the user preferences help link point into the correct namespace, that sort of thing.
  • Flamefests and Flamewars — I ain't proud of it, but I've been a right prick on occasion. At least I have the strength of character to admit my faults.
  • I created {{Asshole}} and {{Easy}} by request.
  • Wrote the Criterion 6 Reworking policy. Kind of a no brainer, but I still take credit for it.


Goddamned n00bs!

Let me preface this by saying I have nothing against newbs, only n00bs. There is a difference.

In the first week I was here I came across seen more stupid, useless, and blantantly idiotic articles than there are on uncyclopedia. Do people not get the fuckin' point? There are three simple rules I wish the n00bs would follow:

  • Do…not…create…user…pages…in…the…main…name…space.
  • Nominate…unused…pages…for…deletion.
  • The rules on the suggestion page are not there to be ignored, or skimmed. READ THEM. Fucking idiots.

Is it that goddamned hard? Seriously, it's like dealing with a pack of heavily inbred hillbillies — especially when trying to explain to them why they shouldn't do something that is really stupid.

So it eventually got to the point where I didn't even bother explaining. Unless one of my arch-nemises bothers to intervene, no one is informing them that they're screwing up and they'll never become anything more than a nuisance. So I give very brief messages, expecting that people who have managed to find Urban Dead and play a game on the internet, should at least have the knowledge required to use the search function.

Frankly, the main page has links to pretty much all the rules and everything we [the wiki] has to teach people about how to edit the wiki. And yet they don't seem to find any of these things. Helping people takes up valuable time that needs to be spent getting the wiki up to scratch — there are too many holes and too much mess waiting to be taken care of. If this place ever wants to be considered seriously it needs people taking care of these problems, not holding the hand of the next n00b who couldn't read the fucking manual.


Frankly, I'm a deletionist. I can see the writing on the wall. I mean, Jesus H. Christ, it's not like I haven't nominated over a hundred pages for speedy deletion. But inclusionists… they make me wonder why?

There is enough crap on this particular wiki just with the drama, trolling and miscellaneous stupidity, why bother voting to keep some stuff that is obsentsibly junk, just 'cause it's funny. Perhaps I'm jaded. I've seen Uncyclopedia's version of that page, this page and so on, so I've come to expect a higher level of sarcasm and general insanity before something is allowed to stay.

The real problem with humour on this wiki is that it is about a serious subject, and as such, fewer people are going to spend time improving the joke pages until they are so bat fuck insane that they'd deserve to stay, regardless of their lack of factual merit. Of course, there are notable exceptions.

UPDATE: Some people seem to take pleasure in seeing crap get blasted into oblivion, and then there are some who want everything blasted into oblivion. Gage, a fellow member of ASS, has been either searching for junk, or has been stumbling across an incredible amount of it. While I appreciate his dedication to seeing useless pages get blasted, he is too much of a deletionist, even for me. Somewhat scary, when I think about it like that.

Oh the irony... the sweet delicious irony...

Since your last turn:

  • al tantay said "am infected, could someone assist me? Thanks =)" (05-29 14:47 BST)
  • Lucy Dark killed al tantay. (05-29 15:13 BST)

I laughed for a good bit. I reckon' that was funny.

Oh the idiocy... the sweet delicious idiocy...

  • Logan 1911 - His description: "A man stands before you covered in blood and peanut butter, wearing a pork chop for a hat. There is a twinkle in his bloodshot eyes, and he wields a razor-sharp banana in each hand."

A Victory for Common Sense

Second misconduct case filed. The first act of misconduct was my fault, I admit that. The second act of "misconduct" (note the quotes this time) was complete and utter bullshit. If you're reading this Nubis, thank you, for restoring my faith in the system. Even if your verdict is overturned somehow, it's good to know that common sense still exists.

Grim s threw in his support too and believe me when I say that I appreciate it.
and Conndraka. I have to say that I'm more than pleased that people are backing me up on this.

Arbitration Duty

God only knows why but I got picked as an arbitrator. Maybe people are recognising the fact that despite my being a complete, outspoken arrogant arsehole, that at least I'm objective. Usually.

Odd's Leave of Absence

Not to belittle anything he did, but I'm not really sure if we'll notice in a short time — From all accounts, Odd has grown more and more distant with the wiki and Urban Dead over time, so his leaving does not suprise me. It is a pity; while I disagreed with him on times he was still one of the better moderators we have.

What? Am I nice or something?

I've been getting a number of "you're doing a good job, and you're a nice bloke" messages. Pity people couldn't say that on the wiki, the praise section looks a little bare compared to the criticism section.

Quotable Quotes

Funny Shit

  • "You shot me and I wasn't even on strike! No, the world will not thank you for this. It's a lesser place without me. Scinfaxi 07:50, 5 July 2006 (BST)"
— When The General's strike breaker character killed Scinfaxi.

  • "Jimbo, your ass, the Internet. Yes. –Bob Hammero ModB'cratTA 07:41, 20 July 2006 (BST)
    • For the last time, I'm not scanning my ass and posting it on the wiki. --Jimbo Bob ASSU! 07:45, 20 July 2006 (BST)"

  • "Could be some fucked up browser/font that doesn't recognise them and replaces them with question marks. That's the only solution I can come up with. --Brizth M T 17:11, 11 August 2006 (BST)
    • Isn't using fucked up browser as good reason as any for a warning? I thought that it was the standard procedure for all IE 6 users? --Niilomaan GRR! 17:38, 11 August 2006 (BST)"

Legend X & the BME

  • "What about the DEM, or any other PKer list, Legend? Or the Creedy Defence Force's? Anyone operating off them gets killed in Bale Mall by one of your members, and you can bet you get on their PKer list. Face it: the BME is insignificant and ignored by practically everyone who does not hate you — apart from the Abandoned who work with your pathetic "we say we have 56 members, but almost all of them left" group. –Xoid STFU! 03:31, 22 July 2006 (BST)
    • any person killing i nthe mall is an enemy of BME unless the perso nthey kill is on our enemy list.bottom line. xoid is an a-hole"
— Legend X's edit summary when removing my comment. Never said that imbecile was bright, did I?

  • "Today I entered Malton to find I had been killed by holdonloosely, a member of ASS, a group that has declared war on my group. That is bad enough, but the fact they kill me in the mall at will when I've done nothing to them is really vile on their parts, and I am hoping the BME can at least keep them from doing their junk in the Mall. I have a screenshot of the killing at [1] and the perp's page at ID# 499244 [2]. Thank you. --Francis Snottly III
    • Hah. Fat chance. The BME is a toothless tiger. You guys could fight back, but I get the impression you aren't going to. –Xoid STFU! 11:04, 20 July 2006 (BST)
      • holdonloosely has been added as an enemy but I can't add his entire group until I get a few more member killing people inside Bale. If you see it happen again let me know. Xoid your opinion that we are "toothless" is no more valid than my opinion that you are an immature asshole. Go play in traffic douchebag. --Legend X"
— Legend X still can't sign properly. Despite being told how to do so on numerous occasions. Snottly got the message on the first go. I think that warrants a round of applause. Regardless, I have yet to be PKed by any member of the BME. Kind of odd considering my 4 PKs in "their" mall. Fuck, I camped in the mall for 3 days without so much as a scratch. Toothless tiger seems a fitting description to me.

  • "I've been told that many times- hence my own back uo - but NOTHING of importance has ever been purged from our history. Don't you have other worries Xoid? You said you'd stop stalking me if I started signing my posts correctly. Loser Legend X 03:55, 31 July 2006 (BST)"
    • "Ah yes. I give you a polite, informative message, then you insult me. The reason I bothered posting on your talk page was due to a similiar inquiry on the BME's talk page. Also: nothing of importance? Try the PK report on Anton Howard. While you may not like leaving it there, by removing it you are hurting your own credibility and ensuring that both the Rezzens list, and DEM list see you in a particularly bad light. Don't care? Fine, ignore the advice you are being given. Advice that might keep other bounty hunters off your back. Also: you want the profile of Lucifer the Scorpion? If you remember a previous place where I said to look for a profile, you will find him there. –Xoid STFU! 04:02, 31 July 2006 (BST)"
      • "The wiki says archiving is not mandatory. Until it is I would ask that the small group of cyber stalkers please refrain from bringing it up every other day on my personal wiki page and the group page. Xoid you are persecuting BME and you know it. You are rude and inflamatory and insulting at every turn. YOU know why we act this way - because we are tired of being harassed. Enough said. NO there will be no archive until it is made mandatory. Right now it isn't. AND please don't respond. This is our official stance. Subject closed Legend X 04:33, 31 July 2006 (BST)"
— An interesting comment. Despite the fact that on this particular occasion I was most demonstrably not rude, inflammatory or insulting, he claims otherwise. Instead of taking steps to make the BME look credible, he starts up with "ZOMG persecution!". Why am I not surprised?

  • "All and any civil discussion can be taken to the 'Discussion' page. Any uncivil discussion, lying, or profanity will be deleted."
— From the BME's page. Funny how civil discussions, without any profanity or lying whatsoever are deleted, yet Legend X often resorts to insults. I ain't sayin' that most of my commentary doesn't fall under his rules, merely that he has double standards.

  • "I will follow suit in which Legend X wipes clean the slate. Xoid and Banana Bear - please do not EVER post on my personal wiki page again. Semms Legend X and the entire BME nation were correct."
— Octi 1's edit summary when removing my comment. Never said that imbecile was bright either.

  • "Also please note that I will seek an appeal from Librarian Brent - the arbitrator I chose and the arbitrator that agreed to hear this case - if the ruling goes against BME. This is not a slap i nthe face of Krazy Monkey (he is still unproven as to whether he will follow the rules or the insane faction) but this is this is our right Legend X 14:11, 8 August 2006 (BST)"
— No moral high ground for you. If you wanted to go for the moral high ground, you should've just continued to refuse arbitration entirely until LibrarianBrent finally emerged from out of the middle of nowhere, or alternatively, refused to continue with it the moment he did show up. –Xoid STFU! 16:30, 8 August 2006 (BST)

The Fifth Horseman

  • "DENZEL & M TEK = SAME PERSON? Check their Wiki pages. As a matter of fact, check one for Stroth. See the "Denzel Washington" frame?
    First time a zerger uncovers himself so blatantly. I think I'll make a nice little addition to his "Anti-cheater Alliance" page on this subject.
    Also, Stroth and Denzel accounts have voted in at least one poll (the "Ban Amazing?" one) both... wiki zerging at its best, eh? --The Fifth Horseman 17:12, 18 May 2006 (BST)
— Is The Fifth Horseman braindead? You tell me. (Diff Comparision proving The Fifth Horseman said this.)

  • "Keep trolling. Even though some of you should know better then to do this, for example Grim. When the guilty admits his crime so openly, there can be no doubt as to what is the correct course of action. Therefore, I will have to exterminate each and every person I come across who admits to be an alias of Denzel, simply because I will not tolerate this sort of immature white racist that this user really is. --The Fifth Horseman 12:16, 26 May 2006 (BST)"
— Retard. (Diff Comparision proving The Fifth Horseman said this.)

  • "…as one of the head ACA members is suspected to be zerger himself (not to mention that all of his suspected zergs - and more - admitted that to be true on the Talk page). --The Fifth Horseman 10:07, 2 June 2006 (BST)"
— Hurr. (Diff Comparision proving The Fifth Horseman said this.)

  • "Immature white racists pretending to be black actors, rather. This little flaming zerger has also forgotten that the actual actor of that name (or just his lawyers) could sue him simply for sullying the name he uses.
    Don't think it to be so impossible. All it would take is someone contacting the right lawyers. --The Fifth Horseman 12:49, 30 May 2006 (BST)
— What more can I say? The Fifth Horseman is obviously delusional. (Diff Comparision proving The Fifth Horseman said this.)


Legend X is a hypocrite. He accuses all and sundry of vandalism, yet is clearly guilty of it himself:

  1. Diff comparision
  2. Diff comparision
  3. Diff comparision
  4. Diff comparision
  5. Diff comparision

Seems Legend X is not a good little boy. Not at all.

Xoid is Officially Senile


Space for Rent

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