Petition for Survivors to Stop Bitching About Everything Else

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I had a revelation earlier after reading Petition for Zombies to Stop Bitching About Being Revived, and I wish to share it with all of you.

Why are survivors bitching about everything?

Let's face it. Zombies eating Humans is the exact counter to Harmanz killing Zombies. That's right, we need to eat to level! But, it's part of the game. So if you don't want us to eat you, stop living.

There are 2 states of existence in Malton. Alive, and Undead. Zombies try to kill the living. Survivors spend 5 hours worth of AP talking to zombies eating at their flesh. What's the problem? Enough of the "The zombie population has grown above 40% and woe is living me..." I don't bitch when one of my characters gets revived or headshot. That's what happens to the dead. I live, I jump off the nearest building. If your Human gets killed, you're experiencing a proper zombie apocalypse. Spare us the moaning and hand-wringing. Accept the fact that death is to survivors, as reviving is to zombies. Suck it up, sweetcheeks. Or, as an alternative, spend your AP on fighting. In fact, consider this: No current zombie skill allows reviving, +10 hp, placing obstacles between you and them, or doing 10 damage for 65 accuracy. Survivors have an advantage already.

Sign below. Or don't. However, know this: Every time you bitch about zombie balance, Zombie Jesus shakes his fist.


  1. How many times can I sign this? Seriously, I'm tired of all the "petitions for getting rid of crap we don't like cause it mildly inconveniences us". --Karekmaps?! 05:46, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
  2. Voted. Don't worry, DHPD will vouch for my vote making it worth like 10 votes so it's cool. .--ScoobyDooDoobie 07:20, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
  3. Ornithopter 22:22, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
  4. BoboTalkClown 01:37, 8 March 2008 (UTC)
  5. My vote may only be worth 3/5ths of a pubbie vote but you shall have it! カシュー, ザ ゾンビ クィーン (ビープ ビープ) ;x You rated this wiki '1'! Great job, go hog wild! @ 02:38, 8 March 2008 (UTC)
  6. Now we have 1 whole vote! --DCC 03:11, 8 March 2008 (UTC)
  7. Voted. --Doc Bubonico 02:40, 8 March 2008 (UTC)
  8. Voted. --TastyNougat 02:51, 8 March 2008 (UTC)
  9. Votered --Sonny Corleone RRF DORIS MSD MOB pr0n 20:47, 10 March 2008 (UTC)
  10. Voted. I may start my own petition to stop anybody using game stats as proof of unfairness or lack of balance unless the percentage is more than 75%-25%. I get sick of that.--SeventythreeTalk 20:52, 10 March 2008 (UTC)
  11. Voted. You realize that the more people we kill, and the longer the revive lines get, the more crying we're all going to hear? It's gonna get epic. -- robotsinmyhead BOO HOO | ZOMBIE RIGHTS 05:12, 11 March 2008 (UTC)
  12. Why the hell do you think I'm a PKer?  Billy Club Thorton  T!  RR  18:15, 12 March 2008 (UTC)
  13. Ah-mahn. ᚱᛁᚹᛖᚾ 07:42, 14 March 2008 (UTC)
  14. Me lieks this. --People's Commissar Hagnat [cloned] [mod] 17:45, 14 March 2008 (UTC)
  15. Voted. Can we Duct-Tape their mouths shut if this doesn't work??--Airborne88Zzz1.JPGT|Z.Quiz|PSS 02:33, 15 March 2008 (UTC)
  16. Me three! I wish there was more to UD so people didn't have to make up drama to keep themselves occupied.--  ZZ Argh.gifEmot-zombie.gif 08:02, 28 April 2008 (BST)
  17. "We should stop pk'ers!" Haha, silly fuckers. You have my vote! --Vandurn 02:23, 3 June 2008 (BST)
  18. There are people that genuinely believe that PKing is somehow the same thing as zerging. --VVV RPMBG 00:26, 30 July 2010 (BST)
  19. Can we make this a proper policy so I can VB everyone who bitches about the way the game should actually be played? For hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee 15:35, 30 July 2010 (BST)
  20. -- 15:57, 30 July 2010 (BST)
  21. If only ASS was still around. --•▬ ▬••▬ • •••• •▬ ▬•▬• ▬•▬ #nerftemplatedsigs 01:32, 31 July 2010 (BST)