Jerden Rules Crowbank/News Archive

This Archive is for Old JRC News. Basically, anything that isn't happening right now.

So, the party's over. I could continue the fight against UD Fark (New tally: 1-0 to them) but I really just feel like spraypainting Crowbank. I may rise from apathy to fight later, but right now it's just not worth it. --Jerden 19:45, 20 August 2014 (UTC)

Jerden attended the Block Party in Roftwood, on a quest of recruitment and pillaging. You may wonder how Crowbank managed without me - the answer is just fine, my friends.--Jerden 21:08, 9 July 2014 (UTC)

Anyway, I'll be playing a game, keeping a tally of kills against deaths for the event. All killing of any other player, as either a zombie or a survivor, counts. All deaths, whether I'm zombie or a survivor, by any other player (or natural causes) count. You'll just have to trust me to be honest, but it should be fun. Let the challenge begin! --Jerden 16:19, 16 July 2014 (UTC)

Kills: 5

Deaths: 5

It ended with a draw. I'll get you next time, block party! Just you wait and see! --Jerden 19:45, 20 August 2014 (UTC)

After weeks of planning, the good King Jerden and his loyal followers marched to Pitneybank on a matter of foreign policy: the Samhain Slaughter. JRC banded together with a diverse coalition of fellow do-gooders, including our friends in Flowers of Decay, Philosophe Knights, Cobra and Unholy Trinity. With his Awesomeness himself leading the charge (well, he was in the charge), the alliance was unified to an extent none had thought possible. By our combined efforts, dozens were slain. The fallen included many of the licentious, zerging Yeti swine and their sympathizers, arrogant trenchcoaters, anti-Cobra radicals, a confirmed zombie spy, and a few who committed the crime of standing in front of us while we gunned down others, a serious offense! The good King Jerden himself took out four targets inside Giddings Mall. With all Jerden and his followers do for Crowbank, sometimes it's important to reach out and help improve the rest of Malton, and today this was done with much success. --Crystal Harrak^{Loyal soldier of Jerden} 07:29, 2 November 2013 (UTC)

I'm Jerden, and I approve this message. --Jerden 21:43, 7 November 2013 (UTC)

Our good friend Anja Arnheim organized peace talks with UD Fark, JRC's current arch enemies. I attended, and didn't kill anyone for DAYS! Do you know how hard that was? Probably not. Most people repress their inner psycho with ease. I tried, but when they started going on about how JRC must submit to their authority, and stop claiming to rule Crowbank (Which would be disbanding - Do they not understand that we are Jerden Rules Crowbank?)... Well, I shall quote myself:

"On behalf of JRC, the people of Crowbank, and psychopathic killers everywhere, I would like to thank the organisers of this event for giving me this opportunity to make a few things clear. "

"JRC support a change in the barricade plan. JRC refuse to disband (Stop pretending to rule Crowbank? What would we do?) and submit to anyone. Stop acting like you own the place, you gosh-darned Farkers, acting like we own the place is our job!"

"So, while I'll start getting a better barricade plan sorted out, with the help of the community, just remember that JRC will never give up, never surrender, and never stop revelling in wanton violence. Your group's arrogance, and being in our way..."

"Has brought a sentence of death upon thee, so-called Decider Inchief! Remember, you can beg for forgiveness and mercy at any time, and I'll stop. Until then, war. Sorry, but I like targets that shoot back. It makes Malton more interesting!"

You fire your pistol at Decider Inchief for 5 damage. Their flak jacket absorbs 1 point of that damage. They die.

"By the last-man-standing rules of the debating table, UD Fark concede the argument to JRC. This is how negotiation works, right? See you soon, sorry about the mess, but I love a few blood flecks from bloody Farkers (no insult intended, it's now literal!)." --Jerden 22:48, 12 October 2013 (BST)

JRC is still at war with UD Fark, and we deny responsibility. They provoked us!

Current Score (JRC will update as necessary): JRC 58, UD Fark 22. Now that they're organised better, this is getting harder, but much more entertaining. --Jerden 22:01, 7 November 2013 (UTC)

On a less violent note, we are genuinely willing to get involved in any changes to the barricade plan. We are also willing to not get involved if requested. A lot of people may prefer not to support a barricade plan supported by us. --Jerden 22:48, 12 October 2013 (BST)

Don't really know what happened... Something about impersonations amd whatever, the important thing is that I finally have a target to shoot at (Yay!) Anyways, blood on the floor and four more. Decider Inchief now lies behind a door. Two nill for JRC.

DISCLAIMER: This note was made by an underling of Jerden and may or may not or could impossibly yet still possibly reflect what he wants to be put on this page. Jerden could perhaps feel free to luckily erease this masochistic yet enriching and profitable post which has lately suspiciously resembled spam. Anyways, this was and still is on. --Leiter 19:32, 20 August 2013 (BST)

Okay, from now on let's treat all radio broadcasts with rampant paranoia as we remember that any broadcasts may be fraudulent. Not that that'll stop me using it, I love adding to paranoia and distrust, but if I want to say something and verify it, I'll post it here. Death to UD Far... Actually, let's not be too hasty just yet. --Jerden 18:55, 20 August 2013 (BST)

It appears that JRC have accidentally started a war with UD Fark, and it's sort of my fault. Let's get things clear:

26.16 MHz: "OK Jerden, this is Decider Inchief"
26.16 MHz: "of UD Fark. I'm at the Spragge" 
26.16 MHz: "and you may consider yourself to be at war" 
26.16 MHz: "henceforth."

In 20:20 hindsight, that was clearly a setup. Only an idiot would fall for it.

So, obviously, I rushed to the Spragge Building and killed Decider Inchief immediately!

Then later, he comes back annoyed (for some reason), and attacks me. I think of this as a continuation of the conflict.

Then:

26.16 MHz: "The Jerden way - make a fake announcement and then go kill" 
26.16 MHz: "whoever you want. Is this your leader Crowbank?" 
26.16 MHz: "Decider Inchief did not broadcast anything." 
26.16 MHz: "To avenge his murder, UD Fark declares a bounty on Jerden's" 
26.16 MHz: "scalp, and anyone who assists him. Broadcasting on the" 
26.16 MHz: "radio is one thing - unjustified PKing is another."

Well, I honestly didn't broadcast the original message, but I may have overreacted. I blame the shadowy "Crowbank Spring" for this. Seriously, someone wants JRC gone. I can't imagine why.

So, as this is all clearly a horrendous misunderstanding, why don't we act like mature adults, apologise, and forget that this ever happened?

Nah. LET THE WAR COMMENCE! I love a good bit of pointless, one sided, and easily avoidable violence! One-nil to Crowbank F.C.? --Jerden 22:21, 19 August 2013 (BST)

A note to our subjects: Somebody (or several somebodies) finds it funny to insult JRC, even impersonating me on the radio. Please remember that pathetic attempts to damage the reputation of JRC will always fail, as 1) What reputation, morons? We're a bunch of PKers with delusions of grandeur, people don't exactly respect us, 2) we rule Crowbank for fun, not because we actually believe that everyone will agree with us like lemmings, and 3) All publicity is good publicity, so keep on getting people interested in the group you hate, we really don't care. This is not an attempt to get you to stop (Or is this reverse psychology? Or Reverse-reverse psychology? I dunno.), because I for one find childish insults funny. Monkeys throwing poo, keep on flinging, who are you really embarrassing here? --Jerden 18:11, 14 August 2013 (BST)

Crowbank is now safe. JRC don't want to be vain or anything like that, BUT IT WAS ALL US. ALL OF IT! Completely 100% JRC, honest. No need to thank us, but we will spare the lives of those who do so. However, Crowbank will never truly be safe until a strong leader is put into power, a leader who's name begins with J and ends with n... but let's leave it at that, shall we? Keep up the propaganda and barricade plans! --Jerden 19:21, 8 July 2013 (BST)

So, We're now back in Crowbank, doing a bit of fixing up of the area, increasing property values, that sort of thing. But we could do with all the help we can get! --Jerden 17:06, 29 June 2013 (BST)

Due to circumstances completely outside of JRC's control, Crowbank has been overrun. In about a day? Darn zombies. Anyway, the administration has elected to make a temporary tactical withdrawal from the endangered area, or in simple terms, Jerden's ran away for a bit. But he'll be back, and fully intends to assist in the reclaiming and rebuilding of Crowbank! You know, once the zombie horde's moved on. Futile last stands are for fools and heroes, and we in JRC are neither! Well, maybe fools, but definitely not heroes. --Jerden 21:06, 23 June 2013 (BST)

Some irritant keeps spraying over the High Lord's barricade notifications with obscene profanities such as "Jerden is a fool" and "No more Jerden." We want them to stop doing it, so tell us who they are, anyone with information! Or even better, kill them for us! There will be rewards! Perhaps a knighthood, or a earldom, or some other meaningless but prestige-granting title! --Jerden 18:20, 30 March 2013 (UTC)

Oh yes, and another person (or possibly the same person) is spraying insulting graffiti about the benevolent presence that is Anja Arnheim. Stuff completely tasteless and profane that it's not even funny. Their name, location, and ideally their head would also be liked (just so we're clear, that's the graffitiers head, NOT Anja's). We could stick it on a spike, and watch their zombie try and climb up and get it or something! --Jerden 18:29, 30 March 2013 (UTC)

Behold, Anja's master-piece, which JRC intend to promote via propaganda all across Crowbank. Once we find the Spraycans, of course:

	70	71	72	73	74	75	76	77	78	79
60	wasteland	Lindsey Square	the Blocksidge Building	the Burfield Motel	the Curtice Building	Scallon Lane	the Leggetter Motel	a carpark	Dinwoodie Auto Repair	Peter General Hospital	60
61	the Grinham Building	a factory	Whitesides Bank Dark	Willington Plaza	Hepplethwaite Place School	Dane Street Police Department	Pullinger Auto Repair	Morrell Bank Dark	Court Street	Rillie Cinema Dark	61
62	Club Head Dark	Willshire Boulevard	St. Gregory's Hospital	the Nott Museum	St. Lorenzo's Church	Stickling Park	Burt Square Police Department	the Elsbury Arms	the Rishton Building	Birkbeck Alley	62
63	St. Emelia's Church	Harewood Park	Gear Alley RP	Wootton Square	Club Dowdall Dark	Nickols Drive	the Mydleham Building	Plummer Avenue RP	Bruton Lane	Vautier Place School	63
64	Gajewski Boulevard Railway Station	Beer Place School	Kening Walk	Blight Park (Crowbank)	Templar Place RP	Whitehorn Grove	Exon Alley Railway Station MPM	Brely Avenue	Billings Way	the Beville Hotel	64
65	Wine Street	the Lathom Building	the Lawley Motel	the Spragge Building	Gerrish Square Fire Station	Pearse Grove	Kerby Street	Commins Bank Dark	the Toop Motel	Billett Way	65
66	St. Eugene's Church	Style Towers	St. Piran's Church	Reay Park	Club Ainslie Dark	Lavour Row	Shore Grove RP	Clinch Way Police Department	Farbrother Cinema Dark	the Meade Museum	66
67	Club Ravenhill Dark	Frauley Row	Hely Avenue	a cemetery RP	Manaton Way	Pennecard Park	wasteland	the Mahon Building	Brogan Boulevard School	Huttenbach Drive	67
68	Curdel Street	Floyde Walk	MacLaverty Road	Gayler Library	St. Birinus's Church	Blockwood Auto Repair	the Doubting Building	Rankin Grove	a carpark	Brickenden Park	68
69	the Horwill Hotel	Peryer Auto Repair	Chambers Alley	Anstee Towers	Waish Plaza	Hitchfield Alley	a carpark	a junkyard	the Crape Building	Spinney Alley Fire Station	69
	70	71	72	73	74	75	76	77	78	79

LEGEND
Extremely Heavily Barricaded Very Strongly Barricaded No Barricades
Auto Repair Shops Hospitals Other (non-TRP) Factories and Power Stations NecroTech Buildings Unbarricadable Forts and Malls Police Departments
MPM: Mobile Phone Masts RP: Revive Points

--Jerden 19:35, 17 February 2013 (UTC)

In order to support this, Jerden gave this rousing speech from Burt street Police department on 26.16 MHz:

"Crowbank! Anyone else who is listening! This is the voice..."
"Of Jerden, High Lord of Crowbank! I have a message." 
"Crowbank has a barricade plan. I support it. So should you." 
"http://wiki.urbandead.com/index.php/PGG_Restoration_Program"
"It is irrelevant whether you support JRC's dictatocracy." 
"This is the People's Barricade Plan!"
"So next time you're spraying over my propaganda, damn kids,"
"stupid vandals, KEEP THE PART ABOUT THE BARRICADE LEVEL!"
"Else we all perish in an overly barricaded wasteland!"
"Lots of love, your benevolent dictator. Jerden has spoken."
"Okay, I also shouted a bit. For your own good! Bye Bye now!" 

--Jerden 12:12, 9 March 2013 (UTC)

PEACE IN OUR TIME

Peace has been declared between TSI and JRC, we now return our attention to Crowbank, a strategy for reclaiming and rebuilding Crowbank is under reviewment and we expect to be able to publish it on this page by the 16th of february. --Leiter 09:36, 14 February 2013 (UTC)

|The Vinetown Wanderers vs Crowbank F.C.

JRC was playing against TSI from late 2012 until the 14th of February, but eventually we decided that it was getting dull and so the final whistle was blown at TSI:23 JRC:18. Not bad, but not too good, but then there's no shame in losing. Plus we learned a lot. Now, we're going to get back to taking over CROWBANK! MWAH HA HA HA HAH!

Past: Jerden and Leiter participated in Order 66. The link explains it better than we can.

EXECUTE ORDER 66

Everything is proceeding exactly as I have foreseen.

Jerden took out GoingMad, RaiiaN, Scumbag Steve and three members of the Knights Templar (Jerden forgot to record them all, he blames his poor memory).

Leiter killed Spartan91 and Marco Ferreira.

Lines:

Jerden - "The Sith of November strike again! You've already lost, but loose again anyway! Order 66!"

Leiter - "Remember remember the failure of november" - *You painted the walls with a red substance coming from Spartan91's brains.*

Jerden - "I give in to my anger and embrace the Dark Side. Probably too often. ORDER 66!"

Yep, it was a violent event. Although we did get killed a lot.