Team Zombie Hardcore
From The Urban Dead Wiki
| Team Zombie Hardcore | |
 The flag of TZH!
| |
| Abbreviation: | TZH |
| Group Numbers: | 70! |
| Leadership: | His Holiness: Mark Whalberg |
| Goals: | "bringing Final Death and mayhem to the 'burbs" |
| Recruitment Policy: | Must Follow Whalberg! |
| Contact: | TigerStripedDog@gmail.com |
Team Zombie Hardcore (TZH) is a small group of human survivors who attack and kill PKers and zombies in North Blythville, South Blythville and the SSZ aka Survivor Security Zone. TZH is led by their divine leader Mark Whalberg, recently returned from his top secret mission to Russia where he was busy being awesome, and learning guitar. TZH General Duke Cage has now deferred role of TZH OC back to the legendary Dhavid Grohl the rock awesome reincarnation of Big Nixon. According to group leaders within TZH this flag is the best possible representation of their ideology and attitude, along with our newly incorporated theme music: BALLS TO THE WHALLS!!!If you think you belong in that music video then hit up our forum at BTTW! Onlineor contact us in game where we will be in the middle of doing something legendary. For those of you who can't join, Whalberg has licensed "Brawndo Inc" to market his urine as a new energy drink called "Brawndo" seen here:Whalberg Piss!
Team Zombie Hardcore membership is is by approval of Mark Whalberg only. Email Dhavid Grohl at TigerStripedDog@gmail.com today to see about joining TZH and beating total ass. Dhavid Grohl screens all comers, and passes a select few on to Mark Whalberg, who makes the final decision. Membership is exclusive, members are not allowed to be a part of another group.
Contents |
[edit] Members
Members and their Zombie/Pker Kill Counts post 10-17-06
[edit] Legendary Soldiers From TZH Origin
Mark Whalberg - Overlord/Warlord/Divine Leader/Commander in Chief - 95/5
Big Nixon - Reincarnated/Retired - 112/7
[edit] TZH - Omega Squad Squad
Dhavid Grohl - TZH Online Command - Legend of Rock - Hardcore Hero 0/0
Papa Nixon - 121!/11 -
RFKzombiekiller - 68/5 - OH YEAH!
headlessagnew - 51/1
Scooty Puff Sr - 55
profFransworth - 41/1
Jarlaxle - 54/0.88 (got COW down to 12) Opportunist. zombies fear my pimp hat.
Viridious - 31/2 Medic Commander for Kommem
Kiiro - 131/14
Rage McRoiduser - 111
BONE SAW - 19
Gus Johnson (en memorium)
Alexander Karelin - 48/1 I BACK! And ready to make pain on the zombie!
Bobby Kennedy - 63/8 that last one was for papa.
Ben Augusta - 1 OH YEAH! BEN AUGUSTA IS BACK! BALLS TO THE WHALLS!
a puke covered bum - 22/7 - eat it HLF CGO!!! you got killed by a bum!
Lurchy McGee - X/X Operation: Awesome from the West.
[edit] TZH - Epsilon Squad Squad
Wayne Enders - Ive Killed soo many...BALLS TO THE WHALLS!
Sludge Vohaul - 66/7 - Retired but shall come again! BALLS TO THE WHALLS!
Lonely Killer - 10/and an assist with a Pker kill on Johnny Bollocks!!! BALLS TO THE WHALLS!!!
Taji - 42/4 zomg
KingDoncho (of Punchtania) - 19
Douglas Michals - a vampire cowboy!?! Hardcore!
Commander Namyr - 21
Steelskull - mysterious new member... total badass!
dud - master of mayhem
[edit] TZH - Lockdown Squad
Superdot - Don't fuck with THIS!
BuckNaked Jihad - Holy War for Whalberg!
FC3 Mais -
Big Ol' Tbone - 19/2 Gaze upon him and despair ye softcore.
The Zombodile Hunter - 85/19 Hey, I am just getting started bitches.
Blackstun -
Chainspawn -
JevonKillsThings -
Jayne M Cobb - The Hero of Canton... And Brooksville. Rock those Zombies Jayne, and love those BQ's!
tenamautomatic- Rockin' Tha Bitches Since 1988
[edit] TZH - Bravo Squad
Duke Cage - TZH Online Command - General - 185/99 Duke Cage Smash Zombie!
Morris O'Brian - Bravo Squad Doctor and Photo Journalist - 124/31
Shu - Bravo Squad Scientist - 250/10 You DON'T mess with humans! You DON'T!
Mike Smith - Profile Police Nemesis Hero - 867/526 Fuck YOU, PROFILE POLICE!
Jakovasaur - Zombie Bait - 22/1 Get Some! You got your face rocked by a chick!
Shirly Logan - Bravo Squad Mutant - 115/84 Retired, indefinently.
Dark Fuzzball - Bravo's Bigfoot - 88/-1 I'm so Hairy! Why?
8008135 - Bravo Squad ENFORCER OF PAIN - 140/28 Flaregun + The Happy Shopper's FACE = KaBLAMO! Best Kill Shot EVAR!
Owner of Face - 68/0 The name does explain some things.
Scotw - Bravo Squad Tech Guy - 60/10
ObiFireFighter - Bravo's Squad Walking Testicle of Hardcore Fury - PWNAGE! ...Why is Fuzzball so hairy?
[edit] Team Zombie Hardcore - Unassigned
don't shoot im stoned
bizzarechaos
Pheonix Pelor
ithumper
Dargoff
[edit] SQUADS
TZH - Command - Commanders: Duke Cage, Dhavid Grohl
TZH - Bravo Squad - Commander: Duke Cage
TZH - Epsilon Squad - Commander: Wayne Enders
TZH - Lockdown Squad - Commander: Superdot
[edit] Description
 | This Group is HARDCORE
|
| This group follows and believes in his Divine Awesomeness.
BALLS TO THE WHALLS!!!
|
Team Zombie Hardcore has been known to operate in secrecy, using only group email and phone conversation. They have traveled throughout Malton using coordinated attacks to do massive damage to the zombie horde.
The Flag of Team Zombie Hardcore (TZH), as it is shown to the right, carries with it an important message. It displays the team's motto: BALLS TO THE WHALLS! An explanation of this motto, if needed can be found on Mark Whalberg's page. It also makes a claim about the Rocking of other's shit. In addition it displays the middle finger of a current member. The centerpiece of the emblem is Burning-Skull-Faced-Stick-Figure who wields both a pistol and an axe. This figure has importance to most members of team, from a time before the Zombie Crisis in Malton. This figure is meant to symbolize the teams vigor, and unwillingness to accept anything but the Hardest of Core.
TZH frequently works closely with Olney Militia and The Drifters, two other groups who staunchly defend North Blythville from Zed attack. These groups were all involved in a 2 week long bloody conflict. Through negotiations the groups have come to terms, and peace has been declared, cooperation in the elimination of the Zed threat has been the focus since.
TZH has just now claimed a radio frequency for its use. To hear about TZH news tune in to 27.37. You can hear reports about TZH activity from MC RFKzombiekiller and updates on zed threats. All residents of North Blythville are encouraged to tune in.
Since the foundation of their fortification of fornication, aka TZH comes to Whalberg Mansion in Stanbury Village... TZH has spawned a whole new breed of Warrior in the Survivor Security Zone. That is of course, The Legion HARDCORE. Many have come to see the true light that is the awesomeness of Mark Whalberg. Many have come to know what the words "BALLS TO THE WHALLS" really mean. These masses grow daily, and soon all of Malton will bow before the Lord of Awesome! REPENT! AWESOME HAS COME TO THE WORLD IN THE FORM OF ONE MAN!!11! AND HIS NAME IS WHALBERG! If you see the above banner on the webpage of any group, you can know in your Heart of Hamburgers that the group you see is truly HARDCORE.
BALLS TO THE WHALLS!
[edit] Radio Information
Behold! The flyer for TZH PIRATE RADIO! FUCK THE FCC! HOLY CRAP! ~ Featuring MC RFKzombiekiller Rocking your shit in the AM AND THE PM!!!
 | Short-wave Radio Info |
| This group or location has a dedicated radio frequency.
Frequency: 27.37 MHz |
[edit] Manifesto
To: Whom it may concern (that would be everyone) From: TZH leadership
TEAM ZOMBIE HARDCORE is totally awesome. We believe that the bruising of zombie ass is essential. We also stress the importance of swizeetness and ass kickery. We do not support PK'ers, because PK'ers are all man-ginas. Any confirmed PKers of TZH members or declared members of PKer groups are a TOP priority for our "Asses to be bruised" list.
Our authority and rules apply only to ourselves, and as such we are totally sweet as hell. TZH believes in the divine power of its leader Mark Whalberg, and as such you will frequently see us tagging buildings in his honor with his righteous message to the world: "BALLS TO THE WHALLS!!!" You won't find our TEAM bashing other groups unprovoked. We are already better than you without in game trash talk, and we know it.
For those seeking refuge and a place to make a difference; look no further than North Blythville, the ANTI-RG suburb.
To PKers: What the fuck is wrong with you? As if there isn't enough to worry about in this fucked up place. Get ready to have your shit seriously rocked, because we won't stop, we can't stop. Thats what being Hardcore does to you. Turns you into a super robot from the future of awesomeness and asskickery.
To Bounty Hunters: Get fucked! You are just poser pker's. The RG is not a reason to kill someone. Justly killing a douchetard pker like Steeeve will get you on the RG, which makes about as much sense as Ben Afleck. Fuck you, Ben! Make a good movie for once! It's been more than a decade! But we digress.... the RG is bullshit as is anyone who lives by it. Holler to Mike Smith, you are a hero!
To The DEM: While we intend to keep communication open, we are not interested in an alliance with someone who supports the RG and the idiot Bounty Hunters. Ashate, Paul Power, and Father Thompson, you guys are given the Whalberg Token of Respect for the fact that you actually had the Balls to participate in the matter of North B's continuation of hardcore suburbia.
To ZOMBIES: You suck. We are coming for you. Fear us. Our fervor and fanatacism has no bounds, and can only be described in one word: HARDCORE!!!
[edit] Action Shots! OMFingG BALLS TO THE WHALLS!!!
Here you can see RFKzombiekiller rocking it out with his trademarked spread weapon! Eat it zombie turtle boss!
This is Sludge Vohaul... yeah, those are flying zombie love children, and thats him kicking their asses.
Here you see Wayne Enders showing off his massive pecs... and calling down missiles from the jet he controls with his mind. Beleive it because its FACT. (This pose actually means "BALLS TO THE WHALLS" in sign language... look it up)
Here you see Viridious, as he beats the everloving snot out of two zombie androids... that have machine gun hands. Get ready, because they're coming for you next... oh wait, they're dead because Viridious PWNT THEM!
Here you can see Commander Namyr and Papa Nixon. That is Namyr doing the sextuple front flip with blazing missle deployment extreme firing action. Papa is there in the front there shooting at the zeds off screen.
This is none other than kickbutt wailing on the zombie worm boss... kickbutt also enjoys wailing on guitar, rocking it out, and pwning your shit on the weekends. Kiss your sister for him.
Here you can see Lurchy McGee as he rips the heart out of the Zombie End Boss... whoever the fuck that ends up being. Remember kids, if you take your vitamins and never stop rocking, this could be you! (This message brought to you by the council for after school rocking.)
Here you see the Battletoads, who also praise Whalberg and beat ass. Chuck Norris once fought the Battle Toads. There was much weeping and gnashing of teeth... it ended in a tie.
This is, of course, The Zombodile Hunter doing what he does best. PWNING the fuck out of a huge ass Zombodile. Yes, Zombodiles have three heads, and yes The Zombodile Hunter kicks all three of their faces at once. One kick is with his oversized penis (Shown here wreathed in flame).
It should be obvious who this is. Who else can make themselves explode at will? Who else could face down the Zombie Motherbrain? Oh thats right, Mark Whalberg. For the record the explosion comes from knocking his testicles together.
This is Duke Cage driving the "Polar Express to Pain" Tank that he built using only his feet. Why only his feet? Becuase like hell would Duke Cage ever stop beating zombies to death with his hands long enough to make a tank. What are you stupid?
The fucking awesome civilians of North Blythville can be seen here, celebrating TZH and shouting "Balls to the Whalls". There is a zombie dog that we let chill because the Polar Bear in TSF headquarters has sex with it... I mean seriously no human should have to go through that, and it has to have sex with SOMETHING.
---
[edit] Honorable Mentions
The following people have earned High Honors by the TZH SUPREME Council for their dedicated and valiant efforts
The Kool-Aid Man gives TZH the big "OH YEAH". The Supreme Council would like to thank Kool-Aid man for this ringing endorsement, for hating zombies, and for kicking total ass.
This is a thank you that TZH recieved from Billy D, there was a note inside that read:
"Whalberg, thanks for being so much more awesome than me and saving my life. Thank the Awesome that you came to Malton"
~ No prob Billy D. Just don't get eaten by zombies... again.
Holy Whalberg its Cindy Crawford! Thats right kids, Cindy was busy at a Malton-Illustrated photo shoot when she was surrounded by a million zombies. Just as she was nearly torn to shreds Whalberg saved her life! They totally made out! BALLS TO THE WHALLS!
Notable Mentions have been reset, a new era has dawned, and mentions will be added as they come. BALLS TO THE WHALLS!
[edit] The Exodus
And so God sayeth unto Whalberg: (God=Kevan for the sake of this passage) I knoweth that your Hardcore Dudez beith Roomates in Real Life. I feel thy plea to me and it hath moved me. Your characters shall be not banned. But LO! Your awesomeness is too great for Malton, and is long for this world. You shall seperate and take your awesomeness into Malton and leave your land of North Blythville. For if my powers of programing against the zergs mistakenly ban you again, help you I shall not-eth."
And so it was that Whalberg heeded the word of Kevan. And he comandeth many of the Team to leave North Blythville. And in obeyance of the word of the Awesome One, they left. All but the voice of Whalberg: Big Nixon. And so the ones who stayed are the ones whom live not with eachother as many brothers do. And those that leave are to spread the word, and to see that "BALLS TO THE WHALLS!" is known to the four corners of Malton. Indeed until the day that the citizens rise up and demand that Malton be called not Malton, but Lo! It shall be called Whalton! AND THERE WILL BE MUCH WEEPING AND GNASHING OF TEETH!
Translation: Kevan's auto-zerging program banned a ton of dudez because about half of the team is roomates with at least one other person from the team. Kevan says we gotta split, so many are heading out.
BALLS TO THE WHALLS!
[edit] News
Team Zombie Hardcore Continues to Rescue Malton From Softcoreness!: With the new recruits and revitalized heroes of TZH we have followed Whalberg to the center of Malton where we are breaking off feet in the ass of zombies everywhere. Whalberg Mansion shall forever stand! Long live The Kilt Store! Long live the SSZ! AND Balls To the WHALLZ! --Duke cage 16:00, 22 February 2008 (UTC)
UPDATE
See the section below concerning the Late Night TV Crue. Total bitches that we are going to send back to bitchville! BALLS TO THE WHALLS!
For the record, April Ivy is not a member of TZH. She is a bitch PKer, and we are going to make her pay. April, if you are reading, have fun getting pwned by our team of asshat-hunters.
--Dhavid Grohl 05:41, 21 December 2007 (UTC)
Dhavid Grohl is the new incarnation of Big Nixon! Farewell Big, you have done much for this team, but your time has grown short. Welcome your new Online Command, Dhavid Grohl, with a true and glorious: BALLS TO THE WHALLS!!!
--Dhavid Grohl 04:38, 15 December 2007 (UTC)
Operation: North Blythville is on Lockdown! More will be stated in the Manifesto section. Bottom line, we, Team Zombie Hardcore, have had enough of the DEM and all you bounty hunter fucks out there who think you are the law. North Blythville is seceding from Malton and becoming No Man's Land. Rules of the DEM don't work here. The hardcore survive and the fuckstains get skidmark'd. If some dickhole kills you, then you can bruise his ass all you want, but prepare for repercussions if you fuck up. You don't need screenshots, and you better not claim the RG as a reason to kill someone. There are no rules here. Don't bark up a tree that actually is just a dark giant dude with balls rooted in the ground. Balls To The Whalls! We are the awesome!
--Duke cage 04:24, 14 December 2007 (UTC)
Fort Whalberg The Hardest of Heroes have officially set up a TZH outpost in Stanbury Village. We are currently rocking out in the Kersley Mansion with Whalberg, Big, Morris, Owner of Face, Shu, Scot, Duke Cage, Jakov, and Logan. The NT's are running and the mall is fully powered with over 200 survivors inside. Red Suburb my ass! Balls To The Whalls!
--Duke cage 01:10, 21 September 2007 (BST)
The Saga Continues Big Nixon has stepped down from TZH Command but has not stopped rocking. He was spotted earlier this morning using dead zombies as a couch. One was alive, but it acted dead to ensure Big Nixon didn't rip his head off and use it bowling ball on the zombies across the street. DAMN, HE IS SO COOL! Even with new leadership, the plan stays the same. Fuel the PAIN TRAIN OF HARDCORE DEVASTATION and let Conductor of Awesome, Mark Whalberg drive it directly up every zombie ass in Malton. We Rule! Balls To The Whalls!
--Duke cage 21:06, 11 July 2007 (BST)
A STATE OF EMERGENCY The PKer group Malton Skeet Club has shown themselves to be PKers, Generator/Radio Destroyers, and worst of all: Zed Saboteurs. TZH is relocating to South Blythville at Marven Mall to confront these total asshats, and see them leave the Blythvilles forever. The Blythvilles don't need their PKing kind. All TZH members are to report to Marven Mall immediately. The profiles of the PKers have been sent out, kill them on sight.
--Big Nixon 16:42, 13 May 2007 (BST)
It Rains BBQ Beef Ribs in North Blythville Scientists were at first baffled by this recent phenomenon. However, anaylsis of the blood of TZH members found it to contain a new element, possibly lunar in origin that has been named "Whalbergium" in honor of Mark Whalberg. This mineral, when combined with Oxygen forms Awesomite. This compound is highly unstable, and has been found to emit a radiation that appears to be outside of the known spectrum, whose penetrance is close to that of gravity. This marvelous new form of energy is toxic to zombies, much as Kryptonite is toxic to Kryptonians. It is also toxic to soft-core losers and asshats. Scientists soon deduced that Mark Whalberg's lunar birth is likely responsible for this condition, and his followers have been "contaminated" with a similar affliction, although in lesser quantities. In addition to increased genital size, Hardening of Core, and supernatural senses of cool, Awesomite is believed to be causing the meteorological phenomenon observed recently. IN addition to the days showering of Beef Ribs, weather-persons in the area are expecting a drizzling of Whiskey and Gin. If only we could get it to rain tonic.
ZOMG BRAVO SQUAD saves Big's life! Today, Big was passed out from drinking all the Rum in town when ZOMBIES attacked him in his totally pimped out safehouse! Thank Whalberg that Morris and Jak heard the noise of the Zeds chewing on Big Nixon's SOLID TITANIUM BICEPS! If it wasn't for Duke and Bravo Squad Big would have bought it HARD, but oh wait, we are HARDCORE! Way to be DUKE CAGE!
TZH FORMS SQUADS! With the recent incorporation of Team Strike Force into the fold, Big Nixon, Mark Whalberg, and Duke Cage have decided that the time has come for TZH to form squads. As the group grows larger the need for a heirarchy emerges! Duke Cage will lead the first squad: BRAVO. BALLS TO THE WHALLS!!!
I am the only member left alive, everyone else is a zed. I was in a building with some good men... im sorry junkie i did everything i could. the 6 zeds inside with me tried their fucking hardest to eat me, but they cannot win, for i am Mark Whalberg, lord of the awesome. as I wandered the streets and saw the bodies of my followers i did not despair, for I know that the essence of all that is hardcore lives on in them, and soon they shall rise again to further my glorious cause. NEVER STOP ROCKIN!
--Mark Whalberg 14:37, 22 February 2007 (UTC)
North Blythville is back baby, and better than ever. BALLS TO THE WHALLS!
Tune in to TZH PIRATE RADIO at 27.37. FUCK THE FCC!!!
We would like to take this chance to grieve for our dearly departed warrior Gus Johnson. You will be missed... and much ass will be bruised in memory of you.
--Tiger Striped Dog 01:22, 21 February 2007 (UTC)
[edit] PKer Alerts & Kill Counts
Malton Skeet Club
Operations in the ongoing war against the Malton Skeet Club continues. We encourage all members to go to The Pippard Building and thrash anyone with a Malton Skeet Club group name. These guys are nothing but racist griefers and PKers. Recent evidence also shows that they are zerging. Members of the TEAM are also encouraged to spread the word around South Blythville about what has happened to the BRRC and their cruel fate wrought at the hands of the villainous MSC. We will never stop fighting the good fight! BALLS TO THE WHALLS! LONG LIVE THE BLYTHVILLES! LONG LIVE THE BRRC! ROCK AND ROHL! --Dhavid Grohl 23:57, 16 January 2008 (UTC)
These unrepentant PKers have decided to attack TZH members. Already TZH has begun to fight back, and their members are being struck down left and right. Their own spokesperson the talentless yet smoking hot Sarah Silverman has seen our justice once already. A list of their members, links to their rap sheets and/or character pages is forthcoming as intel is gathered. I will be working on finding photos of these jackasses, and they should be up this weekend. Remember people, we have dealt with worse than these before. We will out-kill, out-maneuver, out-live, and out-last these suckers.
Official TZH Response to the Late Night TV Crue: Suck it.
THIS JUST IN! Snapshots have been taken of Sarah Silverman, both shaven and unshaven (we shaved her after we killed her... cuz we couldn't handle the ugly).
- Note: Pictures portrayed here were taken in Malton, the imaginary city of UD, and to not represent Sarah Silverman in real life (probably). Pwning the hell out of this dumb bitch is one thing, getting in trouble for defamation, thats another. And you know that stupid bitch would throw a tantrum about it in RL too.
--Dhavid Grohl 17:32, 11 January 2008 (UTC)
Steeeve Biznass
No, go away you hopeful voyeurs. TZH will not be giving Steeeve the sexytime, at least not until we can do it with a chainsaw (please Kevan!). It should be mentioned here though that TZH is currently engaged in a conflict with the Zerger who metagames by the name "Steeeve". All of his zergs have the name Steeeve in them. Two are currently actively pursuing Team Zombie Hardcore members, a clear violation of Zerger code. TZH has long lived under the zerg rules (we have even had to get rid of members who broke them... sad days!). As such, we are now actively hunting down all Steeeve zergs: Two of them can be seen in the following picture taken of the Steeeve's merely days ago in one of the many Malton (this one happened to be a rainbow club). Either way, this photo is guaranteed to be accurate or your money back!
[edit] your friendly reminder...
Going one moment without being awesome is a sin. Have you sinned today? Have no fear, your sins against The Awesome are forgiven through your inspired faith in Mark Whalberg. Remember, Whalberg pwnz your ass. Say 3 "Balls to the Whalls" and wail 4 times on an air guitar and all is forgiven my child.
Also, bracelets with a small HWWR logo on them are availble to faithful followers of the Awesomeness. If you are ever questioning what you should do, or how to act, you can look at your bracelet and ask: How Would Whalberg Rock? And the answer will come to you as surely as zeds will eat your brains if you run out of AP outside.
 | Sacred Ground Policy Supporter |
| This user supports the Sacred Ground Policy. |
 | O.M Ally |
| Team Zombie Hardcore is an ally of the Olney Militia |
 | Coalition for Fair Tactics Group |
| This group has ratified the Coalition for Fair Tactics Group Pledge. |
