Current Season:
Season Six Open Casting Call!
So, it should be obvious we're searching around for folks to interview.
I figure let's throw it out there for people who want to suggest interviews to us. You know, go all Heath Ledger-y as the Joker and see if any of you are willing to give up the locations of your fellow wiki-types to see if we'll go kill them or not.
I'll give you a hint - we probably will.
Of course you could send us on wild goose chases or whatnot, but what fun would that be?
More fun to actually give us the whereabouts of that person here on the wiki (or anywhere else for that matter) that you have been thinking could REALLY use a little love and attention from some psychopathic television personalities.
Of course, feel free to email me at kisskisslovesarah@gmail.com or to leave word at our forum (you'll have to make an account though...) if you'd rather the whole world didn't know you told us where to find Anime Sucks...
Whaddaya say? Who should be next?
Kiss kiss!
Season Six: The Interview Circuit, Episode 2
Episode 2: UPDATE!
Apparently Gambler of Legend didn't like it when Triumph killed him. Sorry Gambler! We tried to entertain you, and others. Thanks for your help spreading that even wider! Hopefully others liked it. Your feedback is certainly important to us, but we do have our creative process and we are AR-TEESTS, after all.
Not everyone can fully understand our leitmotifs, you shouldn't feel badly about it. In any case, hopefully you're flattered that we think you're so exciting and worthy of killing. This certainly proves we were right. Thanks for being such a dedicated player and organizer of things Axe Hack. This really was an act of love! With Ridleybank not even red any more, we need more folks like you around!
Original Episode 2 content:
Howdy folks! Welcome to our second episode of the season! This week we found some terrific folks to talk to!
Sadly, no one gave me any screen shots, so you’ll just have to deal with the text…
First up, we found the former first lady of the Gore Corps, the mother of all death cultists having recently taken up residence in the Quartly Library home of the August Quartly Study Group, the one, the only, Goolina!!
Sarah: Good Morning Malton! It’s Daylight Savings Day, and we’ve fallen back to the Quartly Library where we’re absolutely honored to be sitting down with founder and former Gore Corps leader Goolina!
Sarah: Now, Goolina, you are a true celebrity of Malton – most would say you invented the Death Cult, and were one of the most effective advocates of BARHAH of all time.
Goolina: Why thank you Sarah... I –
Sarah: Further, you forwarded the cause of women in leadership roles across the death divide! Now this love of death… did or does that extend to a… LOVE of death?
Goolina: I’m not following yo-
Sarah: Well, you’re alive, you’re dead, back forth, you find yourself on one side of the mortal coil alone in ruined, ransacked and dark building… with that handsome Gore Corp compatriot on the other side.. well?
Goolina: Are you asking if I ever..
Sarah: OK, we’ll just assume you did. What are your thoughts on the current RRF leader, Irishmen? With one, maybe two suburbs in zombie control in all of Malton – is BARHAH dead? Is it his fault for failure to recruit and proselytize the zed life?
Goolina: I’m not sure you can lay it all at the feet of -
Sarah: I’ve also heard some hubbub about your time at the Kilt Store. Apparently the till was a little light after you left?
Goolina: THAT IS NOT-
Sarah: I see. Well, you’re not doing much, clearly. How’d you like to join up with us for a few interviews? See the city, find people who still qualify as ‘famous’ in Malton, interview them, and then kill them? You’d be most welcome.
Sarah: Well, that’s all the time we have kids! Thanks so much to Goolina for her time, this has been a real thrill for me. Please someone post a dumwit of this to my wiki page or our forum!
--- Kiss kiss, Love Sarah!
And then of course, I killed her.
Triumph also got a real 'get' as we say in the business.
Hanging out in Havercroft, Triumph the Insult Comic dog was fortunate enough to bump into Gambler of Legend!!!
Triumph: Today Malton, we have a man with a long history of being in everyone’s faces here in Malton, and on the wiki. A man with nearly as many personalities as Finis Valorum. Welcome, Axe Hack!
Gambler of Legend: That’s Gambler of Legend.
Triumph: Oh right sorry. This is your new gig now, holding and folding and running away and such things. I’m not sure it’s an improvement. I mean look at you! Was anyone else harmed in the accident?
Gambler of Legend:What do you –
Triumph: I’m told that you are associated with this group, “Organization XIII” Please explain the philosophy behind this organization.
Gambler: It’s a balancing organization. We alternate between pro-human and pro-zombie activities in order-
Triumph: Why not just call it, “Us being dicks?” That seems more honest. Never mind. Last year you appeared on stage with Phish to perform your hit song "The Gambler" at the Bonnaroo Music Festival.
Gambler: That’s true, I –
Triumph: How embarrassing for you. You’re so old when you were young the dead sea was still only sick. Who did you have to blow to get that gig? Did you think there was an early bird special serving fish there?
Gambler: Now just a min-
Triumph: Well, that’s all the time we have. Thank you to Axe – I mean Gambler of Legend. He is a fine survivor… FOR ME TO POOP ON! (please copy a screen shot or dumwit to the LNTVC page. Thank you)
Then of course, Triumph The Dog [killed] him.
So, that's it for this week! I hear others are working on some exciting interviews, and we should see them soon. Remember, feel free to suggest anyone you'd like us to interview, preferably with their present location! It's HARD to find some of you!
Until next time, Kiss kiss!
Season Six: The Interview Circuit
Season Six Opener!
We’ve spread out across Malton, and we’re looking for exciting individuals to interview for your education and enjoyment!
We’re especially interested in talking to folks involved in the running, debating, lawyering and overall hijinks here at the Urban Dead Wiki!!
There is no end to the potential hilarity as we come visit YOU, our loyal viewers and find out what makes you tick! And then stop that ticking. Dead.
Sound fun? We think it will be. And with our group numbers on the rise we're hoping there'll be even MORE folks who want to join in the fun! What could be better than picking your favorite Wiki personality and then... killing them?
First, great news: We’ve got two exciting special guest stars!
Joining us after a brief hiatus from the game is: Headless Gunner!!
I think he hardly needs any introduction, but suffice to say we welcome his particular interview abilities and his incredible ability to ‘get’ the tough stories.
He's still maintaining his ties with the Creedy Guerilla Raiders and whatever else he's got going on, but he was looking for something fun and exciting to do, and whelp - sure enough we qualified!
Please give a warm round of applause for our good friend Headless, and let him know that we expect great things from his very special segments!
Next, we welcome for a limited engagement Dirty Rockstar!!
..and yes, your mouse-over is correct there, Dirty Rockstar is an alt of the one, the only, the recently wiki-tastically rehabilitated by 2/3 majority IZUMI ORIMOTO!!
We’re hoping this could lead to a regular gig where we kill people side by side instead of us just killing her lots - but like everyone we're waiting with baited breath to see what zoomy will do next!
How will she follow up her riveting programming to date?
We look forward with great interest to what Dirty Rockstar has to add to Season Six! Did you vote against her in the miscomfabulibobination? Maybe you should be looking over your shoulder, right about NOW!
And now, ON WITH THE SHOW!! – here’s our first two interviews:
Sarah Interviews Sexy Rexy Grossman of the The Dribbling Beavers in Santlerville!
Hopefully someone will give us a link to a screen-shot here, but until then, here’s the transcript:
Sarah: Hello Malton! We’ve got a great show for you! Tonight’s special guest is Sexy Rexy Grossman! Former leader of the Dribbling Beavers, Lord of Santlerville and current slave to Dan Snyder of the Washington Redskins!
Sarah: So Rexy, how do you think your football career stacks up to your idol Brett Faahvrahs?
Rexy: Well I think…
Sarah: But the best part is being behind a dude and reaching your hands between his legs right?
Rexy: Now that’s just…
Sarah: You’re right, sorry. How could I say such a thing about a guy who leads a group of beavers? So they say you’re getting the band back together… what plans have you got for that?
Rexy: Well, so far we’re just trying to take back Hall NT…
Sarah: Yeah, not much success there though right? Those Bunny Boilers are really foiling you guys, I’m told. I think maybe you should work on that pot belly there first, chief! Evils Presley would be ashamed!!
Rexy: Hey! I most cert-
Sarah: Well, that’s all the time we have tonight! Thanks to our guest, Sexy Rexy Grossman! I hope he knows we love him, that he’s one of the good ones, and is glad to have been part of the Season Six Interview circuit for the Late Night TV Crue! Kiss kiss! Love, Sarah!
I then asked for a screen shot from the rest of the room, and killed him:
Sorry Rexy!
Next up, Triumph the Dog interviews Bob Moncrief, of the Malton Taoist Temple – currently wandering around as a zombie in Darval Heights!
Thanks to Bob himself for capturing this image! And thank goodness I'm addicted to 'recent changes' because I saw him do it! :) YAY!!!
And HA! at whichever zombie killed Triumph there! I didn't know that part!!
And that’s our season opener! Hoping for many more interviews to come! Stay tuned for our next exciting episodes!!
| MSNBC
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Episode Five: Brokeback Malton: Team Zombie Hardcore fucks quality TV programming
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Season Finale: Team Zombie Hardcore is a bloated, over-botoxed has-been no longer worth killing
So folks, we're wrapping up Episode 5: Brokeback Malton with Team Zombie Hardcore
Ratings are down, frankly because no matter how clever we were in killing them, a TZH death has become a commodity. A cliché. And worst of all, TOO EASY.
I'm not sure how many different groups are hunting them at the moment, but we killed them so many times for the most part unanswered, that it's time for us to pick on someone our own size.
So - here's the wrap-up on a week's worth of activities. I may get more in from Jimmy and Stephen - if I do, I'll add it in here. They've both been in intense contract renegotiations with the network. Sheila I believe, has fallen and can't get up - so the rumors of her return are false.
Wed Feb 20, 2013
Me and Triumph decided to team up for a few runs. It was a successful strategy, as we quickly found Dhave Grohl.
- Triumph the Dog said "Hi Dave! So nice that Sarah and I could find you on our morning run! YAY! Stop being a dick about tv willya? Your corpse is nice... FOR ME TO POOP ON!!"
- Repartee
- kill
Later that day, I bumped into one of my favorite Philosophe Knights, WR, and I got a little giddy.
You say "Nice to see you Mr. Reynalds! I feel smarter just being in the room with you! I should say something erudite... Percute me! percute me! Ego sum injuriosum retines!"
Yeah, look it up.
Thu Feb 21, 2013
The next day, Triumph and I set out again. Thanks to a tip from some good friends, we had the location of TWO members of Team Zombie Softboiled to work with.
Then, right next door - it takes three of us all day, but we finally kill Headless Agnew
Thanks for Vapor for the assist on that one!
That same day, Vapor and Mark Exchange words in St. George’s
- Vapor: "Speaking of entertainment, look who has decided to join us. It's Marky Mark. Hey Mark, where's the rest of your funky bunch? Oh yeah, they're dead. "
- Vapor: "Mark, you're so much like Dave Grohl. Both of you climbed from utter mediocracy to sudden fame piggybacking on the greatness of others."
- Vapor: "For Dave, it was Kurt Cobain, for you Mark, it was your older brother Donnie. "
- Vapor: "He got you that nice cushy job as the fifth New Kid on the Block. But that wasn't good enough was it?"
- Vapor: "Had to go form that one hit wonder 'rap' band, didn't ya? What was the name of that song? Good Vibrations?"
- Vapor: "Ain't that a Beach Boys song? "
- Vapor: "Oh wait yeah there was another song. Wild Side. Oh but that was a Lou Reed song."
- Vapor: "Should have stuck with the New Kids, Marky. Safely tucked in Donnie's shadow."
- Mark Whalberg said "You have me confused with Mark Wahlberg v4por. Learn to spell you douche. Though, he does look a lot like me. Racist." (21 minutes ago)
- Mark Whalberg said "I am the demi-god of Awesome, sent here by The Awesome to cleanse Malton of such as you. Me and my brethren have done a fair job, of the some 400 PKers who have attacked us over the years, but * a handful survive. And yet we stand, forever badass." (20 minutes ago)
- Vapor: "You need some new material, Whall-e. This ain't Leave it to Bheaver on Nickelodeon's TV Land."
- Vapor: "It's 2013, ya know, enough with the reruns. 'We're made of Awesome' *applause* 'Bhalls to the Whall' *laugh track*."
- Vapor: "These people demand quality programming."
I think we need to collectively give Vapor a round of applause. This guy has really embraced the comedy thing, and dare I say gotten it down like a pro! We here at LNTVC could not be happier that we've added Vapor and the Communator to our lineup, and we look forward to many, many more quality shows from both of them.
Sun Feb 24, 2013
Again, Triumph and I are out as a team, and we find Headless Agnew...
I really thought that would be the final TZH kill we made. I mean it's just sad at this point.
Communator does the right thing in the Malton College of Medicine's HQ:
- Communator gets Mark Whalberg
- Communator said "Well, well... if it isn't Mark Whalberg, leader of Team Zombie Hardcore..."
- Communator said "The sole reason that the TV channel lineup in Malton is so bad."
- Communator said "Myself, as well as every othere survivor out there should kill, or at the very least,"
- Communator said "punch you in the face everytime we see you."
- Communator said "We deserve better TV in Malton. I'm done watching sucky television. It ends here."
- Communator said "Who else is with me?!"
- Communator killed Mark Whalberg with a pistol.
- Kill
Mon Feb 25, 2013:
Finally, Triumph and I make one last kill - we couldn't resist given the knowlege we had of this feller's location.
- Triumph the Dog said "Ah Yes, you again! You TZH types! If you guys spoke your mind, you'd all be speechless! Just remember not to let your mind wander - it's too small to be let out on it's own! You are a good TZH'er FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!" (1 minute ago)
- Triumph the Dog killed Alexander Karelin with a shotgun. (57 seconds ago)
- Repartee & Kill
So again, if more reports come in, I'll post them here - but right now I'm officially ending Season Five. I'm sure we'll kill Team Zombie Hardcore members forever out of some misguided nostalgia -- sort of in the same way we drop the hapless Izumi Orimoto frequently, but we're no longer actively seeking them. Here's hoping Dhave and Mark get back on their feet in some marginally frightening way. It seems that when LNTVC targets you or your group, things start going badly.
We've got exciting things planned for Season Six! We're busy writing episodes, so stay tuned Malton!
Kiss kiss! Love, Sarah--Sarah Silverman 15:27, 25 February 2013 (UTC)
UPDATE!! This just in!
I guess Mike Smith is hoping to redeem his clan of Losers! Triumph tells me that he was just sleeping completely helplessly in a building, and Mike couldn't even kill him right.
Triumph says "Oh Mike... careful you don't shoot yourself there, you moron. I think Stevie Wonder could have killed me by now, you fool. So this kill for you? Not going to happen, jackass. You're a tough guy... FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!"
I mean, this IS the guy who won't even put his group name in his profile because he doesn't really want to be associated with Grohl and Whallberg... how sad.
Tuesday, February 19th - Team Zombie Hardcore Takes More than Grohl’s Spunk on the Chin…
So lots of death reports rolling in from the weekend.
Over the past few days, I personally got
Thu 2/14/13:
Jayne M. Cobb
You say "Jayne, stop trying to cancel all the good shows on TV!!!"
Taunt
Kill
Sun 2/17/13: Scooty Puff Sr.
You say "Oh Scooty Puff - you just don't quite measure up to the members of TZH of old. All in all, this go round has been very underwhelming. You're easy to find, your pick only easy targets, and well.. your Bhalls are Smahll!"
Taunt
Kill
Tues 2/19/13 Duke Cage
With an assist from Triumph who found him and took a couple shots, but ran out of ammo:
You say "Oh DUKE! How I've missed you. Boy, some of the riff-raff you've let into your group of late. So nice to see you again. Please come insult me on my talk page again. You have that certain, 'je ne sais quois' when it comes to misogynistic insults."
Taunt
You say "So glad Triumph found you first. He's SO very pissed that he didn't have enough ammo to finish the job."
More Taunt
[http://iamscott.net/1361281920579.html Kill}
Also: Triumph got Sneaky Fox:
(He didn’t send me a taunt. I don’t know if he did or not. Let’s pretend he said:”)
You say: Whallberg is a butt munch!
Kill
Vapor posted his own kill of Dhave below - I need to see what else the others have done and add them later.
Suffice to say, lots of douche bags eating dirt these days, in the name of Quality Television programming.
If I'm to be honest, there seems to be a LOT of folks out there hunting TZH members. I remember this is why the writer's strike ended back in the day as well. It may be time to start a new season soon...
Post Script: Open season on Zoomy
Also this week, Zoomy tried to join the Late Night TV Crue with one of her alts. I almost missed it - I went and looked for the former group of this alt, but not the user page until I was about to add her to our list. Of course the wiki page shows that it's an alt of Izumi Orimoto that's been banned.
There was also a lot of back and forth between us on my talk page. You can go there yourself and read that if you like.
Further, I’m pretty sure both Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel killed zoomy recently – I’m trying to get them to give me screenies, but they’re just learning the ways of Dumwit. All this new technology since we've woken up!
Then LASTLY, a dear friend ran into Izumi, and sent us this gift. This one is just plain Terrific:
Golam
Golam says "well well well. with no TZH to kill I guess you will have to do."
Taunt
Kill
So that's the latest and greatest. As always, I'll share more as it happens! We aim to entertain!
Kiss kiss! Love, --Sarah Silverman 15:53, 19 February 2013 (UTC)
Saturday, February 16th, 2013 -- The End of the Malton College of Medicine Cliffhanger
Hi Maltonians! I had a great long weekend, and I hope you did too!
So, in my last update, we were complaining to the Malton College of Medicine about how Skittle Poops killed our new member Vapor in their headquarters. It was so nice of the very rational QBee to respond as follows:
- Sarah, I understand your outrage and I must add that V4por has become a well liked figure at MCM. Our history with THZ has been bizarre to me at best. However, I will have to decline your request for me to kill Buck. THZ would crave nothing more than a MCM member, or better yet, me killing one of theirs. MCM's stated mission is to heal and teach. I know that it causes other groups some distress that we don't respond to killing, but being a neutral zone with so many differing players we often have squabbles in the hospital. If you need confirmation ask the PKnights as they are often targets there.
- Hopefully next time you come through the hospital you can take a moment and share a necrotini with me and we can chat. I normally check our forum, but not so much the wiki. --QBee 16:07, 16 February 2013 (UTC)
Before we saw this, Triumph and I discussed it, and decided to take matters into our own hands, which is to say, BuckNaked is one dead fucker:
Here of course is BuckNaked Jihad's death: http://iamscott.net/1361019219561.html
There was some confusion that our challenge to the MCM was a threat of violence to them. No Golam, we never intended to harm them. We were just worried that they'd get mad about the fact that we'd killed in their HQ. In the end, it was quite the love fest. Here's the end of that conversation, with Vapor chiming in:
- For what it's worth, being killed at St George's by TZH is something I've become accustomed to, and dare I say something that I've even come to enjoy.: All that wasted effort only to spend a mere 2-3 AP being brought back to life. Maybe that's why I keep going back after making my rounds. It's a nice way to spend time waiting for one of the TZH mouth breathers to come at and get me. But in the end, it's an internal thing weather our totally amazing and super hawt leader Sarah Silverman wishes to pursue it any further. I doubt it will escalate into MCM deaths. After all, you're not the ones behind the shitty TV programming. ~ Vapor
- There will be no MCM deaths. BuckNaked's death shall suffice. If the MCM wishes to sanction Triumph, or me (who asked him to kill BuckNaked), or all of LNTVC, or what have you - so be it. I consider the matter closed. We shall no longer consider St. George's any safer than any other locale. My point is that given TZH does not respect your rules, none who disrepect THEM should receive your ire regardless of location.--Sarah Silverman 18:52, 16 February 2013 (UTC)
- No sanctions are needed. It's very wise not to consider St. George's as a safe place. It's a regular round for THZ to stop in and listen at the hospital. I believe v4por has been in the hospital for a couple of THZ rants. However, I too enjoy quality programming and look forward to seeing more of it in Malton. --QBee 20:26, 16 February 2013 (UTC)
Then I stopped by the Malton College of Medicine's hospital HQ to say hello myself. QBee made good on her offer of that drink with this:
Then Vapor decided to celebrate killing Dhave Grohl with a song:
For which the MCM gave him accolades:
So that pretty much wraps up that episode. Since then, we've all pretty much been running around killing TZH members. I'll do a roundup of that shortly.
SO. MUCH. FUN!! Love you all! Kiss kiss!--Sarah Silverman 15:13, 19 February 2013 (UTC)
Pity the Foo
What can be said about Dhavid Grohl that hasn't already been said? Plenty! Riding on the shoulders of Kurt Cobain's fame, Dhave was the founding member of the mediocre mid-90s rock band Foo Fighters. Just what is the Foo? Why are you fighting it? Should we pity the Foo? Well whatever brought this fame, truth is your a total sham, Dhave. And you don't deserve such a hawt wife. LNTVC member V4por had this to say at Smallwood Cinema in South Blytheville.
Good riddance, to bad music.
Later, v4por grabbed the mic at St. George's for some karaoke, belting out one of Dhave's mysteriously popular songs from 1995.
Now that's what I call an improvement!
So as you know, Triumph has been keeping an eye on the TZH representative who's been greasing around the Malton College of Medicine's HQ in St. George's Hospital (Greentown).
That guy has already had three restraining orders filed against him, and no fewer than 60% of the nursing staff has reported being sexually harrassed - male AND female.
So, Triumph does his thing, as you can see below
Ha! You tell 'em T!
Then the unthinkable happens. In this ZONE OF NONVIOLENCE, this CENTER OF HEALING, Scooty Puff assassinates our member V4por. The Horror! The Horror!
We demand restitution! This cannot stand! Either:
a. Issue a temporary permit to the LNTVC for one 'eye for an eye' kill in St. George's -OR-
b. Pibbit or Q Bee kill BuckNaked Jihad yourselves.
We await JUSTICE!
Kiss kiss! Love Sarah!--Sarah Silverman 20:20, 15 February 2013 (UTC)
More Valentine's Day! -- V4por Tells Jokes!
Finally, for a Valentine's day comedy nightcap, V4por takes the mic at St Geroge's Hospital.
- You say "I hope you're all enjoying the entertainment. I hear that Mark Whalberg was arrested yesterday after stealing several blow-up dolls."
- You say "The police had no problem catching him because he was completely out of breath"
- You say "And did you hear that Tom Cruise's attorney has said he will sue anyone claiming he is gay?"
- You say "In related news, BuckNaked Jihad's attorney has been hospitalized for exhaustion"
- You say "And how about that Dhave Grohl? If I found him floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog"
- You say "But man does he sure have a following. It's the damnedest thing. It's like he's the stupid person's idea of a clever person."
February 14, 2013 – Happy Valentines Day!
I’ve got lots to tell you guys about! It’s been a pretty great week or so.
First, a whole bunch of the Late Night TV Crue has come out of retirement! Stephen Colbert is running – or I guess I should say shambling – around again (Thanks to Zoomy – but more on her later), as is Jimmy Kimmel, lovable old fat guy that he is! I’ve been in contact with Sheila Brovlofsky, but I’m not sure if she’s awake or not yet, or if she really will. Triumph the Dog is also out there too!
Plus – we’ve attracted TWO new members! I have no idea if they want to be publicly associated with us, so I won’t shout them out by name. They can feel free to add anything they like here.
I’ve been doing a lot of broadcasting to get our message of accountability out against those rat-bastard Team Zombie Hardcore fuckwads. Let me catch you up:
So, here I tell Malton what's up, and hope everyone will join in the fun. IT'S NOT TOO LATE! SEND A SCREENIE OF YOU PUNCHING A TZH MEMBER! PLEASE!!
Then, Dhave Grohl finally woke up, and whined like a little girl on my talk page, and then again on his own page: Read about scared Dhave here! So, after Dhave ran and hid, I found Mike Smith - who is so scared he won't fly [Team Zombie Hardcore]] as his group name. So he became our first demonstration. Our 'opening salvo' if you will.
Next we found out just how deep this rabbit hole goes. They want to cancel a ZOMBIE BASED TV SHOW? If this doesn't get you off your couches and move you to support our action in meaningful and measurable ways Malton, I don't know what will!
One of our new members visited the Malton College of Medicine in St. George's Hospital (Greentown) and punched BuckNaked Jihad in the face. Again, I'm obscuring his name because he may be on the down low for now. But here's the courageous act:
Which earns him a lecture from QBee, but it was probably worth it. It'd be worth it if YOU did it too.
Then, Triumph also visited the Malton College of Medicine in St. George's Hospital (Greentown). He shared with me the following monologue he gave against BuckNaked Jihad, who apparently just sits there all day pulling his pud watching Nurses run around, taking advantage of their non-violence policy.
- Ah, the venerable Malton College of Medicine's Headquarters.
- This is a nice Hospital.. FOR ME TO POOP ON!
- Heh. I keed, I keed. I see you let some of that Team Zombie Crusty-Poopcore riffraff hang out here.
- You really should have higher standards...
- BuckNaked Jihad must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen.. I mean, Out of 100,000 sperm, THIS GUY was the fastest?
- Right? When BuckNaked Jihad was born, the police arrested his dad, the doctor slapped his mom, animal control euthanized his brother, and A&E made a documentary that saved his life.
- Ah yes, but you have a no-violence policy here. I will honor this. But know that BuckNaked's group stands for crappy TV in Malton.
- They must be punished. And they will be. And it will be entertaining.
- So those of you who can stand maybe just a LEETLE violence, punch these guys in the face when you see them for us... Much appreciated.
- Now, please excuse me while I lick myself for a while.
Go get 'em Triumph!!
And then most recently, I found Jayne Cobb and made an example of him. Here's hoping the message sinks in.
In the WTF?? Department:
BOY! My talk page has really lit up lately. Some guy named Blazing arrow reminded me that he probably, maybe killed me once.
Thanks for that, Blazing arrow. I'll treasure the memory. Really.
Then I heard on the radio this weird challenge thingy:
The MacMillan Library? As in, the one in Randallbank? Um, that's a bit far away from my current base of operations, whoever you are. Oh by the way, WHO ARE YOU? Not very tough to issue a challenge on the radio, but not say your name... So sorry, I won't be hauling my cookies across Malton for a blind date with a jackass.
Finally - ZOOMY showed back up on my page. And she's TRENCHY now. Stripped of her group by our efforts way back with the New Lockettside Valkyries, she's out of high school, she's appealed for reinstatement on the wiki, and returned for vengeance! Here's hoping that's entertaining. She's still within 4 moves of St. Alexanders in Lockettside inside Sankey Bank. Anyone who wants to power that up for us to make it easier to kill her, that help would be most appreciated. Again, send me a Dumwit and I'll give you credit here.
We also have a new | forum! Stop by and say hello, or visit any talk page on the wiki that is associated here.
I think that's it for now! An upgrade to this page is still in the works - so stay tuned! Thanks for listening Malton - we love you so. Except you, you dirty Team Zombie Hardcore types. We're coming for you.
Tonight's Episode's Kills:
- http://urbandead.com/profile.cgi?id=34717%7C Mike Smith] Taunt: "Mike! I didn't realize before that you were a thinly veiled deluded disciple of Mark and Dhave! I hereby execute you in the name of quality TV in Malton! Your Balls are Smahlls! Kiss kiss, Love Sarah!" Taunt Kill: Kill
- Jayne M. Cobb Taunt: "Jayne, stop trying to cancel all the good shows on TV!!!" Taunt Kill: Kill
February 8th, 2013 - ANNNNNNND.... We're Back!
Wow, that was one LONG commercial break, eh folks? I'm pleased to restore this page to it's former... uh, mediocrity. We'll get on that maybe at some point. But at least our history is here again, and those silly colors of the The New Valk page are gone. For those wanting to see that (though I kind of ruined it, here's a link:
LNTVC's New Lockettside Valkyrie's Campaign
That was fun while it lasted.
So, up next we've got a new program laid out for you. Remember way back in early 2008 when Team Zombie Hardcore caused the Entertainment Write's Strike? Yeah, that sucked. We were beset with all sorts of bad reality TV, and lots of great folks in Hollywood had to switch to the cheaper kind of caviar, and only buy hookers and blow once a week instead of three.
Here's some of the [January 10th: End the Writer's Strike and stop Team Zombie Hardcore!!|history] of that effort.
Well, thank you fans in Malton for a great campaign then to punish the loser Mark Whalberg and his idiot minions for degrading Malton's entertainment.
Thankfully, Golam of the Philosophe Knights kept up the pressure to excise this horrible blight on Malton society. Here is a great accounting of those efforts.
Sadly, we've now learned that TZH is working with dark and powerful forces in Malton, like The Koch Brothers and Justin Bieber to ensure that next season there is nothing but crap like Honey Boo Boo and "I just shat a marble" on television.
They Must Be STOPPED!
So, once again fair citizens of Malton - we call on you to help us punish every member of Team Zombie Hardcore you see.
If you're so inclined, kill one of them.
If that's not your style, YOU CAN STILL HELP - just punch any member you see in the face and say, "I want quality TV in Malton!"
That's all it takes.
Thanks, and watch this space for more updates!!
Oh, and in case you need another reason to hate TZH, remember when Mark Whalberg said this about how he'd have been able to prevent 9/11?:
“If I was on that plane with my kids, it wouldn’t have went down like it did,” he tells the magazine. “There would have been a lot of blood in that first-class cabin and then me saying, ‘OK, we’re going to land somewhere safely, don’t worry.’” [1]?
Remember when he fucked a bear revealing he's a dirty furry fetisher?
Let's teach theses un-Maltonian bastards a lesson.
Kiss kiss, and it's good to be back!
--Sarah Silverman 15:00, 8 February 2013 (UTC)
February 1st, 2013 - We're Getting the Band Back together...
As all of Malton knows, in the immortal words of Donald "Duck" Dunn, "We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline." We're not really on a mission from God, but at least to improve our ratings. Or maybe I'll get to fuck Matt Damon again.
This to say: we're back. Jimmy's up (well, not currently - Zoomy killed him yesterday), Stephen's up, and Triumph is nearby. So while I haven't had time yet to really clean up this place, I will start sharing some of our good times.
Carolina Cross is one of my new favorite people. I'm bummed I can't remember what I said to her. But she's the bestest in my book:
I killed Zoomy again today. Here are the highlights:
I'm going to put this identical content up on the LNTVC page. This will be my last cross link. I'm realizing I should update there again now, if others are awake.
Kiss kiss!
| MSNBC
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Season Four: The New Lockettside Valkyries
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Late Night TV Crue: Season Four
Episode One:
Episode Two: xx
Episode Three: xx
Episode Four: xx
Episode Five: xx
Episode Six: xx
Episode Seven: xx
Episode Eight: xx
Episode Nine: XX
Episode Ten: xx
Episode Eleven: Finale xx
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| MSNBC
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Season Three: Hell Hath No fury Tour
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| MSNBC
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Season Two: Team Zombie Hardcore and the Writer’s Strike
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| MSNBC
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Season One: Violence is Born
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Episode Recap Archives
Reordered so most recent is on TOP - stupid fat Jimmy wasn't allowed to be there, because I nearly suffocated every time.
January 23, 2008's broadcast
January 10th: End the Writer's Strike and stop Team Zombie Hardcore!!
December 29th: Happy Holidays
November 20th: Branching out a little further...
November 9th: The Bash Cracks Corn But Jimmy don't care...
November 7th: Dateline: The Hospital Of Loserdom
November 7th: Grrrr!!!
November 2nd: And the Rubicon is Crossed...
October 19th: Killing, Dead or Alive
October 17th: A bit of a detour
October 15th: What a lovely weekend!!
October 8th: Spies!! Oh NOES!!
October 3rd: What a lovely day for a massacre!
Policies and Tags
Except Sarah. I may or may not abide by these as it suits me. So there you go. --Sarah Silverman 17:08, 6 August 2008 (BST)
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Honor Among Thieves
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| This user or group supports the Honor Among Thieves Policy & finds that PKing is more fun when only innocents suffer.
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