Late Night TV Crue
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| Abbreviation: | LNTVC |
| Goals: | Entertainment Through The Homicidal Arts |
| Recruitment: | forum |
Current SeasonSeason Six Open Casting Call! I figure let's throw it out there for people who want to suggest interviews to us. You know, go all Heath Ledger-y as the Joker and see if any of you are willing to give up the locations of your fellow wiki-types to see if we'll go kill them or not. More fun to actually give us the whereabouts of that person here on the wiki (or anywhere else for that matter) that you have been thinking could REALLY use a little love and attention from some psychopathic television personalities. Kiss kiss! Season Six: The Interview Circuit, Episode 3Holy cow folks! Here's an interview that was supposed to be our FIRST episode, our season opener, but I seriously could not find this woman. I have to give mad props to Sally for being unpredictable and hard to track, and honesly, I just got lucky. I'll be honest and say that I looked in three separate regions for her, and stumbled on her looking for someone else. Sheesh! I was very psyched to have this ready though!
 Sarah: Hello Malton! We’ve got a great show for you! Tonight’s special guest is Sally A Summers, the illustrious leader of COBRA and an Urban Dead wiki Sysop! Welcome Sally! So Sally, when I say the words, “Pony Cobra” what comes to mind?
Sally: Oh, you wanna go there, eh?
Sarah:Of course Silly! Describe to me what was going through your mind when you said, “Sure, Kirsty-honey. *winks* Come to daddy. *hugs her heartily..”
Sally: Now wait a min-
Sarah:Oh, I’m just kidding. We’re gonna be besties you and me! Seriously though, why not just tie the mattress to your back?
Sally: HEY!
Sarah:So tell me about the life of a SysOP – ever feel like you’re one of 9 Captains on a ship of Fools? Nevermind – so that other Cobra is pretty much dead though right? So is history written by the victorious? Sally: Pretty much.
Sarah:But you’re weird with all that girly pony stuff. I mean, I'm not saying you’re a slut but whenever you eat a banana in public, you put one hand behind your head, right? I'm just saying you've put more balls in your mouth than hungry hungry hippo
Sally: Why you…!
Sarah:Is Kristy jealous of your obsession with Izumi Orimoto? Is that why you’ve tried to unban her twice? Are you looking for a quiet room with HER too? Sally: You are fucking dea—
Sarah:Well, that’s all the time we have tonight! Thanks to our guest, Sally A. Summers! I hope she knows we love her, and is glad to have been part of the Season Six Interview circuit. Kiss kiss! Love, Sarah!
And of course, as always, I then killed her. It was nothing personal though, I swear!! Whew! That was a fun one for me. I hope it was good for you too Malton.
Oh, also - I finally figured out what Blazing Arrow was talking about on my talk page. He stopped by there the other day and said:
I was confused, until I found out that Triumph killed him. Triumph said:
Triumph: Well, this hardly counts as an interview, but here we have one of Malton's biggest jackasses, Blazing arrow... who challenged Sarah Silverman to a duel not long ago. For someone with such a firey name, you seem rather dim to me!
Triumph: You're so dumb you peed your pants when you got locked in a closet! You are a good survivor... FOR ME TO POOP ON!! "
Triumph: HA! I'm actually the dumb one today. Locked in a bathroom that was supposed to be. Holy crap I'm hung over. Oh well... I'll just kill you now..."
Season Six: The Interview Circuit, Episode 3Hello you jackasses, it's me, Triumph. Here I am talking to a bunch of hairy old dudes sitting in their parent's basements tabbing between LiveJasmin.com and this freaking shitty zombie game. Ah, but it's a living. So, today I found a good survivor-type player...FOR ME TO POOP ON!! Here is the interview I conducted: 
I keed! I keed! Season Six: The Interview Circuit, Episode 2Episode 2: UPDATE! Apparently Gambler of Legend didn't like it when Triumph killed him. Sorry Gambler! We tried to entertain you, and others. Thanks for your help spreading that even wider! Hopefully others liked it. Your feedback is certainly important to us, but we do have our creative process and we are AR-TEESTS, after all. Not everyone can fully understand our leitmotifs, you shouldn't feel badly about it. In any case, hopefully you're flattered that we think you're so exciting and worthy of killing. This certainly proves we were right. Thanks for being such a dedicated player and organizer of things Axe Hack. This really was an act of love! With Ridleybank not even red any more, we need more folks like you around!
Original Episode 2 content:
Howdy folks! Welcome to our second episode of the season! This week we found some terrific folks to talk to! Sadly, no one gave me any screen shots, so you’ll just have to deal with the text… 
Sarah: Good Morning Malton! It’s Daylight Savings Day, and we’ve fallen back to the Quartly Library where we’re absolutely honored to be sitting down with founder and former Gore Corps leader Goolina! Sarah: Now, Goolina, you are a true celebrity of Malton – most would say you invented the Death Cult, and were one of the most effective advocates of BARHAH of all time. Goolina: Why thank you Sarah... I – Sarah: Further, you forwarded the cause of women in leadership roles across the death divide! Now this love of death… did or does that extend to a… LOVE of death? Goolina: I’m not following yo- Sarah: Well, you’re alive, you’re dead, back forth, you find yourself on one side of the mortal coil alone in ruined, ransacked and dark building… with that handsome Gore Corp compatriot on the other side.. well? Goolina: Are you asking if I ever.. Sarah: OK, we’ll just assume you did. What are your thoughts on the current RRF leader, Irishmen? With one, maybe two suburbs in zombie control in all of Malton – is BARHAH dead? Is it his fault for failure to recruit and proselytize the zed life? Goolina: I’m not sure you can lay it all at the feet of - Sarah: I’ve also heard some hubbub about your time at the Kilt Store. Apparently the till was a little light after you left? Goolina: THAT IS NOT- Sarah: I see. Well, you’re not doing much, clearly. How’d you like to join up with us for a few interviews? See the city, find people who still qualify as ‘famous’ in Malton, interview them, and then kill them? You’d be most welcome. Sarah: Well, that’s all the time we have kids! Thanks so much to Goolina for her time, this has been a real thrill for me. Please someone post a dumwit of this to my wiki page or our forum! --- Kiss kiss, Love Sarah! And then of course, I killed her. Triumph also got a real 'get' as we say in the business.  Triumph: Today Malton, we have a man with a long history of being in everyone’s faces here in Malton, and on the wiki. A man with nearly as many personalities as Finis Valorum. Welcome, Axe Hack!  Triumph: Oh right sorry. This is your new gig now, holding and folding and running away and such things. I’m not sure it’s an improvement. I mean look at you! Was anyone else harmed in the accident? Gambler of Legend:What do you – Triumph: I’m told that you are associated with this group, “Organization XIII” Please explain the philosophy behind this organization. Gambler: It’s a balancing organization. We alternate between pro-human and pro-zombie activities in order- Triumph: Why not just call it, “Us being dicks?” That seems more honest. Never mind. Last year you appeared on stage with Phish to perform your hit song "The Gambler" at the Bonnaroo Music Festival. Gambler: That’s true, I – Triumph: How embarrassing for you. You’re so old when you were young the dead sea was still only sick. Who did you have to blow to get that gig? Did you think there was an early bird special serving fish there? Gambler: Now just a min- Triumph: Well, that’s all the time we have. Thank you to Axe – I mean Gambler of Legend. He is a fine survivor… FOR ME TO POOP ON! (please copy a screen shot or dumwit to the LNTVC page. Thank you) Then of course, Triumph The Dog [killed] him. So, that's it for this week! I hear others are working on some exciting interviews, and we should see them soon. Remember, feel free to suggest anyone you'd like us to interview, preferably with their present location! It's HARD to find some of you! Until next time, Kiss kiss!
Season Six: The Interview CircuitSeason Six Opener!  We’ve spread out across Malton, and we’re looking for exciting individuals to interview for your education and enjoyment! We’re especially interested in talking to folks involved in the running, debating, lawyering and overall hijinks here at the Urban Dead Wiki!! There is no end to the potential hilarity as we come visit YOU, our loyal viewers and find out what makes you tick! And then stop that ticking. Dead. Sound fun? We think it will be. And with our group numbers on the rise we're hoping there'll be even MORE folks who want to join in the fun! What could be better than picking your favorite Wiki personality and then... killing them?
First, great news: We’ve got two exciting special guest stars!
 I think he hardly needs any introduction, but suffice to say we welcome his particular interview abilities and his incredible ability to ‘get’ the tough stories.  ..and yes, your mouse-over is correct there, Dirty Rockstar is an alt of the one, the only, the recently wiki-tastically rehabilitated by 2/3 majority IZUMI ORIMOTO!! We’re hoping this could lead to a regular gig where we kill people side by side instead of us just killing her lots - but like everyone we're waiting with baited breath to see what zoomy will do next! How will she follow up her riveting programming to date? We look forward with great interest to what Dirty Rockstar has to add to Season Six! Did you vote against her in the miscomfabulibobination? Maybe you should be looking over your shoulder, right about NOW!
And now, ON WITH THE SHOW!! – here’s our first two interviews: Hopefully someone will give us a link to a screen-shot here, but until then, here’s the transcript: Sarah: Hello Malton! We’ve got a great show for you! Tonight’s special guest is Sexy Rexy Grossman! Former leader of the Dribbling Beavers, Lord of Santlerville and current slave to Dan Snyder of the Washington Redskins! Sarah: So Rexy, how do you think your football career stacks up to your idol Brett Faahvrahs? Rexy: Well I think… Sarah: But the best part is being behind a dude and reaching your hands between his legs right? Rexy: Now that’s just… Sarah: You’re right, sorry. How could I say such a thing about a guy who leads a group of beavers? So they say you’re getting the band back together… what plans have you got for that? Rexy: Well, so far we’re just trying to take back Hall NT… Sarah: Yeah, not much success there though right? Those Bunny Boilers are really foiling you guys, I’m told. I think maybe you should work on that pot belly there first, chief! Evils Presley would be ashamed!! Rexy: Hey! I most cert- Sarah: Well, that’s all the time we have tonight! Thanks to our guest, Sexy Rexy Grossman! I hope he knows we love him, that he’s one of the good ones, and is glad to have been part of the Season Six Interview circuit for the Late Night TV Crue! Kiss kiss! Love, Sarah! I then asked for a screen shot from the rest of the room, and killed him:  Thanks to Bob himself for capturing this image! And thank goodness I'm addicted to 'recent changes' because I saw him do it! :) YAY!!!
Season Five: Brokeback Malton: Team Zombie Hardcore fucks quality TV programming
Season Finale: Team Zombie Hardcore is a bloated, over-botoxed has-been no longer worth killingSo folks, we're wrapping up Episode 5: Brokeback Malton with Team Zombie Hardcore
Ratings are down, frankly because no matter how clever we were in killing them, a TZH death has become a commodity. A cliché. And worst of all, TOO EASY.
I'm not sure how many different groups are hunting them at the moment, but we killed them so many times for the most part unanswered, that it's time for us to pick on someone our own size.
So - here's the wrap-up on a week's worth of activities. I may get more in from Jimmy and Stephen - if I do, I'll add it in here. They've both been in intense contract renegotiations with the network. Sheila I believe, has fallen and can't get up - so the rumors of her return are false.
Wed Feb 20, 2013 Me and Triumph decided to team up for a few runs. It was a successful strategy, as we quickly found Dhave Grohl.
Later that day, I bumped into one of my favorite Philosophe Knights, WR, and I got a little giddy.
You say "Nice to see you Mr. Reynalds! I feel smarter just being in the room with you! I should say something erudite... Percute me! percute me! Ego sum injuriosum retines!"
Yeah, look it up.
Thu Feb 21, 2013 The next day, Triumph and I set out again. Thanks to a tip from some good friends, we had the location of TWO members of Team Zombie Softboiled to work with.
Then, right next door - it takes three of us all day, but we finally kill Headless Agnew
Thanks for Vapor for the assist on that one! That same day, Vapor and Mark Exchange words in St. George’s
I think we need to collectively give Vapor a round of applause. This guy has really embraced the comedy thing, and dare I say gotten it down like a pro! We here at LNTVC could not be happier that we've added Vapor and the Communator to our lineup, and we look forward to many, many more quality shows from both of them.
Sun Feb 24, 2013
Again, Triumph and I are out as a team, and we find Headless Agnew...
Communator does the right thing in the Malton College of Medicine's HQ:
Mon Feb 25, 2013:
So again, if more reports come in, I'll post them here - but right now I'm officially ending Season Five. I'm sure we'll kill Team Zombie Hardcore members forever out of some misguided nostalgia -- sort of in the same way we drop the hapless Izumi Orimoto frequently, but we're no longer actively seeking them. Here's hoping Dhave and Mark get back on their feet in some marginally frightening way. It seems that when LNTVC targets you or your group, things start going badly.
We've got exciting things planned for Season Six! We're busy writing episodes, so stay tuned Malton!
Kiss kiss! Love, Sarah--Sarah Silverman 15:27, 25 February 2013 (UTC)
I guess Mike Smith is hoping to redeem his clan of Losers! Triumph tells me that he was just sleeping completely helplessly in a building, and Mike couldn't even kill him right. Triumph says "Oh Mike... careful you don't shoot yourself there, you moron. I think Stevie Wonder could have killed me by now, you fool. So this kill for you? Not going to happen, jackass. You're a tough guy... FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!"
Tuesday, February 19th - Team Zombie Hardcore Takes More than Grohl’s Spunk on the Chin…So lots of death reports rolling in from the weekend. Sun 2/17/13: Scooty Puff Sr. Tues 2/19/13 Duke Cage Also: Triumph got Sneaky Fox: Vapor posted his own kill of Dhave below - I need to see what else the others have done and add them later.
Post Script: Open season on Zoomy
Also this week, Zoomy tried to join the Late Night TV Crue with one of her alts. I almost missed it - I went and looked for the former group of this alt, but not the user page until I was about to add her to our list. Of course the wiki page shows that it's an alt of Izumi Orimoto that's been banned. So that's the latest and greatest. As always, I'll share more as it happens! We aim to entertain! Kiss kiss! Love, --Sarah Silverman 15:53, 19 February 2013 (UTC)
Saturday, February 16th, 2013 -- The End of the Malton College of Medicine CliffhangerHi Maltonians! I had a great long weekend, and I hope you did too!
So, in my last update, we were complaining to the Malton College of Medicine about how Skittle Poops killed our new member Vapor in their headquarters. It was so nice of the very rational QBee to respond as follows:
Here of course is BuckNaked Jihad's death: http://iamscott.net/1361019219561.html
There was some confusion that our challenge to the MCM was a threat of violence to them. No Golam, we never intended to harm them. We were just worried that they'd get mad about the fact that we'd killed in their HQ. In the end, it was quite the love fest. Here's the end of that conversation, with Vapor chiming in:
SO. MUCH. FUN!! Love you all! Kiss kiss!--Sarah Silverman 15:13, 19 February 2013 (UTC) Pity the FooWhat can be said about Dhavid Grohl that hasn't already been said? Plenty! Riding on the shoulders of Kurt Cobain's fame, Dhave was the founding member of the mediocre mid-90s rock band Foo Fighters. Just what is the Foo? Why are you fighting it? Should we pity the Foo? Well whatever brought this fame, truth is your a total sham, Dhave. And you don't deserve such a hawt wife. LNTVC member V4por had this to say at Smallwood Cinema in South Blytheville.
Good riddance, to bad music. Later, v4por grabbed the mic at St. George's for some karaoke, belting out one of Dhave's mysteriously popular songs from 1995. Now that's what I call an improvement! OUTRAGE during Triumph's Limited Engagement at St. George's Hospital (Greentown)
More Valentine's Day! -- V4por Tells Jokes!Finally, for a Valentine's day comedy nightcap, V4por takes the mic at St Geroge's Hospital.
February 14, 2013 – Happy Valentines Day!I’ve got lots to tell you guys about! It’s been a pretty great week or so.
 In the WTF?? Department:
Tonight's Episode's Kills:
February 8th, 2013 - ANNNNNNND.... We're Back!Wow, that was one LONG commercial break, eh folks? I'm pleased to restore this page to it's former... uh, mediocrity. We'll get on that maybe at some point. But at least our history is here again, and those silly colors of the The New Valk page are gone. For those wanting to see that (though I kind of ruined it, here's a link:
So, once again fair citizens of Malton - we call on you to help us punish every member of Team Zombie Hardcore you see.
If you're so inclined, kill one of them.
If that's not your style, YOU CAN STILL HELP - just punch any member you see in the face and say, "I want quality TV in Malton!"
That's all it takes. Thanks, and watch this space for more updates!! Oh, and in case you need another reason to hate TZH, remember when Mark Whalberg said this about how he'd have been able to prevent 9/11?:
Let's teach theses un-Maltonian bastards a lesson.
--Sarah Silverman 15:00, 8 February 2013 (UTC)
February 1st, 2013 - We're Getting the Band Back together...As all of Malton knows, in the immortal words of Donald "Duck" Dunn, "We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline." We're not really on a mission from God, but at least to improve our ratings. Or maybe I'll get to fuck Matt Damon again.
Kiss kiss!
Season Four: The New Lockettside Valkyries
Season Three: Hell Hath No fury Tour
Season Two: Team Zombie Hardcore and the Writer’s Strike
Season One: Violence is Born
Episode Recap ArchivesReordered so most recent is on TOP - stupid fat Jimmy wasn't allowed to be there, because I nearly suffocated every time.
January 10th: End the Writer's Strike and stop Team Zombie Hardcore!! November 20th: Branching out a little further... November 9th: The Bash Cracks Corn But Jimmy don't care... November 7th: Dateline: The Hospital Of Loserdom November 2nd: And the Rubicon is Crossed... October 19th: Killing, Dead or Alive October 17th: A bit of a detour October 15th: What a lovely weekend!! October 8th: Spies!! Oh NOES!! October 3rd: What a lovely day for a massacre!
Policies and TagsExcept Sarah. I may or may not abide by these as it suits me. So there you go. --Sarah Silverman 17:08, 6 August 2008 (BST)
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