Philosophe Knights/Activities

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Abbreviation PK
Group Numbers A hoarded secret
Leadership Philosophes
Goals To annihilate the ignorant and uneducated survivors
Recruitment Policy Register
Contact Forum

Documentation of Past Activity

Vinetown Poetry Walk 2013

Last spring, the Philosophe Knights turned the suburb of Vinetown into a walking poem, dividing T.S. Eliot's "The Hollow Men" into 100 parts and spray painting each part onto a different block of the city. Once this beautiful sight was complete, the Philosophe Knights visited nearby Marven Mall to invite Vinetown's residents onto the street for a private guided tour of the installation. Read all about it here.

Boone Museum: Casefile Declassified

In the early morning of November 15, 2011, inside the Boon Museum in Foulkes Village, The Philosophe Knights Theater Troupe unveiled the second installment of the "Case-File Declassified" story.
The play was performed before members of the CAPD, The 'Sards, and Da Shamblin' WAAAGH. The audience did not survive, and the after-show party spilled out into the streets and the buildings beyond.

Joining the Philosophe Knights was guest actor Jim Mclusky. We thank him for his time and his excellent contributions.

Malton Murder Awards 2011
Best Survivor Group

MMA11.png Maltie's Eleven Malton Murder Award Winner
The contributions of Philosophe Knights to the PKing industry earned them an award at the Maltie's Eleven Malton Murder Awards.

Grooviest Group

MMA11.png Maltie's Eleven Malton Murder Award Winner
The contributions of Philosophe Knights to the PKing industry earned them an award at the Maltie's Eleven Malton Murder Awards.

We thank the judges and those who voted for us for this honor.

The Gatehouse: Casefile Declassified

On the night of December 4th, 2010, the thespians of the Philosophe Knights Theater returned to the stage, not having been seen in Malton since their production of The Tragedy of Julius Caesar in Ackland Mall, years ago.
In the crowded gatehouse of Fort Creedy, actors staged a short comedic story in the Noir style before an audience of 90 people.
15 members of the audience were asked to leave by the ushers.

The Second Samhain Slaughter

On the night of October 26th, and during the day of October 27th, the Philosophe Knights celebrated the ancient rites of Samhain, and alongside their allies from the PKA, the Knights punished a large number of fools.
Over 100 ignorant survivors were cut down, and the blood of the unenlightened coated the walls and the floor of Blesley Mall, in Gulsonside.

Evil pumpkin.jpg Trick or Trick!
This user or group wore a costume and trick-or-treated at Blesley Mall, Oct 2008.

The Pole Mall Murders

The Silent Night Slaughter

On December 23rd, the Philosophe Knights and their allies in the PKA, as well as many other groups of killers, and at least three zombie hordes, attacked Fort Creedy in order to rid the military base of the hundreds of Ignorant fools who hid behind the concrete walls day by day, shunning their fellow survivors, and keeping themselves hidden from any chance of enlightenment. Over 100 of them were punished that night, and the following morning.
The Philosophe Knights actively participated not only in the attack, but in the planning, coordination, and preparation of the assault.

Santa.PNG Silent Night Slaughter
Ho!Ho!Ho!Ho!Ho! This user or group caroled and celebrated with the residents of Fort Creedy on Christmas Eve in December 2007!!!

The Samhain Slaughter

On October 30th 2007, the Philosophe Knights, in conjunction with the PKA, participated in the mass education of over 70 ignorant souls in Hildebrand Mall in Roftwood.

Samhain Slaughter pic 1.jpg Boo!
This user or group dressed up and trick-or-treated at Hildebrand Mall in Oct 2007.

Operation Whiteout

On October 10th 2007, the Philosophe Knights spray painted every surface in the zombie homeland of Ridleybank with pictures of white masks. Eight knights painted a total of 166 pictures.

The Ides Of March

The Philosophe Knights attacked Ackland Mall with the PKA on the 15th of March. They recited part of Shakespeare's Julius Caesar and participated in the punishment of ignorants.

Idesofmarch.jpg CAVETE IDES MARTIAE!
This user or group participated in The Ides Of March killings in Ackland Mall

Valentine's Day Raid

The Philosophe Knights aided the PKA in clearing the entire Bale Mall on the 14th of February.

A depiction of Sir N, entering Bale Mall. Picture made and donated by Pathetic Bill

Extended Conflicts and Wars conducted by the Philosophe Knights:

Knights of St. Jude:

In February of 2006, a war between the Knights of St. Jude and the Philosophe Knights broke out in Molebank, with the Knights of St. Jude defending their cathedral and their suburb, and the Philosophe Knights assaulting the suburb. In March of 2006, the Creedy Defense Force arrived to help the Knights of St. Jude, and the war escalated, with casualties mounting on all sides.
After a long, bloody war, which saw the Philosophe Knights generally at an advantage, a strong, enduring alliance was forged between the two groups, largely due to the efforts of Sir SI, a noble and conversation-loving Knight, who often spoke to the Knights of St. Jude during the duration of the war, and influenced a change in Molebank's outlook on education and enlightenment.
This war marks the first alliance the Philosophe Knights entered into, as well as the first war they waged. Since then, the war has not been forgotten, and the alliance that it created has been honored ever since.

the war has made Molebank one of the most interesting, and no doubt terrifying places to try and reside. I love it!
--Autz Fritz, Knights of St. Jude

Richmond Hills Cleansing:

September of 2006, the Philosophe Knights declared a state of Enlightened Law on the Suburb of Richmond Hills, and warned that any person found outside a Center of Learning would be executed. Richmond Hills' Centers of Learning were designated to residents as the safehouses of the suburb, and after a month of Enlightened Law, these places became packed with sleeping survivors.
With the aid of the Philosophe Knights and members of the PKA, Richmond Hills took a step towards Enlightenment.

learning in our libraries is the right of all citizens of Richmond Hills
--MasterLibrarian, Richmond Hills Library Department

The Coalition:

In November of 2006, a scientific group in Miltown, the The Brainiacs, embroiled in a conflict they were not equipped nor inclined to fight themselves, sought aid from the Philosophe Knights against the Coalition, a group made up of the living and the dead. The Philosophe Knights rushed to their aid, and began the execution of the enemies of knowledge.
The Coalition, a zombie/survivor group, used its zombie members to attack Philosophe Knight safehouses, while the Knights killed their living members. Near the end of the conflict very few of the normally living members of the Coalition were alive for any amount of time, and the Coalition's zombies were tearing down the resource buildings in the suburb in order to get at the Knights.


In April of 2007, during the maiden voyage of the 'Education Operation', aimed at providing an entire suburb's population with lectures and educational lessons, the Philosophe Knights hit a snag.
The Danversbank Relief and Reconstruction Project (DRRP) had been hostile towards the Knights from the moment they arrived, gunning down two Knights on arrival. With an active membership numbering over twice the size of the Philosophe Knights, the DRRP was the largest group in the suburb. However, after some hasty apologies and a speedily withdrawn declaration of war by DRRP leader Paddy Dignam, the Education Operation was given the green light.

However, it soon became clear that the DRRP was dedicated to hampering the Philosophe Knights' educational, Pro-Survivor operation in Danversbank, provoking Knights with insulting and threatening messages, and seeking to put an end to the Knights' operations. Eventually, Citizen M himself decided that enough was enough, and delivered the news of the Philosophe Knights' new diplomatic stance to Mr. Dignam at the expense of Dignam's life.

The war was waged during zombie attacks on the suburb. While both groups tried to maintain certain buildings - the DRRP supporting pubs and resource buildings, and the Philosophe Knights repairing Centers of Learning - these efforts were hampered by the constant fighting.
The constant deaths of Danversbank's largest coordinated survivor group severely undermined the suburb's defenses, and the suburb was destroyed by the assaulting zombie forces, and the Philosophe Knights were by and large victorious, with some Knights having claimed the kills of every single DRRP member. A bloody and destructive war all around, but, according to many Knights, one of the most enjoyable events they'd attended.

Everyone grows tired of this conflict. It serves no purpose, it causes only grief, and it will end with Danversbank in flames.
--Rubin York, DRRP

Clan Nosferatu:

In Late July, 2007, the Philosophe Knights returned to their traditional home. When they arrived, they discovered that loafers had begun to overtake the mansion, and evicted several of them. A local group, known as Clan Nosferatu, took offense at this, and began attacking the Knights.
Realizing that Clan Nosferatu was a rather small and newly formed group, the Knights attempted to make amends, but despite several attempts at appeasement by several Knights, Nosferatu continued its attacks. Once it became clear that no amount of favors would win Nosferatu over, the Philosophe Knights gave up and assaulted them, bringing the small group to its knees.
However, this small war Over control of the Philosophe Knights' Mansion did not end in bloodshed, after a larger group in the area, which had declared its neutrality in the conflict, mediated a cease-fire between the two groups.

Yes, a war would be very costly to both sides but I suspect that we would come out on top.
--Sir WV, Philosophe Knights

Come out on top...perhaps. But at what cost? Streets full of undead, and enoughdamagethat would take weeks to repair. No one would get anything done and Lamport would turn into a war zone.
--St Rafty, Dead Dudes

Project: T.I.M.E:

In late November, 2007, a handful of veteran murderers, and a motley crew of deluded killers gathered in Shearbank, boasting loudly of their superior abilities, and generally causing trouble. They were a group convinced that they were time travelers, mending the space and time continuum by killing certain people.
News of this band of miscreants reached the ears of the Philosophe Knights, who sent Sir WV to investigate. What he found shocked him.
Fools were a dime a dozen in Shearbank, but Project: T.I.M.E was something else - Stupid. Irreparable. Uneducable. Hopeless. On top of that, while WV was preparing a report on the situation, a member of Project: T.I.M.E murdered him with a shotgun to the back of the head.
Already marching on Shearbank were members of the PKA, all of whom intended to aid Project: T.I.M.E's victim, DARIS 2.0. The Philosophe Knights had never deemed DARIS worth assisting, but now, armed with the knowledge that Project: T.I.M.E embodied everything that threatened knowledge, the Knights prepared for war.

And so, on the first of December, the war became a reality. The sudden attack scattered Project: T.I.M.E, and their members were executed to the point of the absurd. Chased out of Shearbank without any significant retaliation, they were hunted ruthlessly in the surrounding suburbs, till they reappeared in Dunell Hills, where they assaulted the DHPD. By this time, the Philosophe Knights were elsewhere.

Maybe when DARIS is done crying and leaves we can go teach these idiot zerging groups a lesson.
--Kuroneko, Project: T.I.M.E, commenting on Irony

Bandit Queens:

In Early January of 2008, Philosophe Knights, traveling from Fort Creedy to Marven Mall, were set upon by members of the Bandit Queens, a fairly large, well organized group of survivors in Brooksville. These unprovoked attacks against the Knights were the start of a long, and bloody war in the southwest.
While at first the Bandit Queens kept the pressure up on the Knights, keeping them dead at revive points, killing revivers, and generally proving their worth, reinforcements were on the horizon. After a week of low morale, the Philosophe Knights were scattered and despairing when the cavalry arrived. Lord N, and a few other out-of-contact Knights arrived, the Philosophe Knights revised their tactics, and began a counterassault.
Suddenly, the tables were turned. The Bandit Queens were making frequent trips to the revive points, and ferals began occupying buildings. Team Zombie Hardcore arrived to help, but with the Late Night TV Crue assaulting them in their own suburbs, they contributed little to the effort, and did not stop the Knights. With fewer and fewer Knights dying by the day, and the Bandit Queen's warehouse base seeing few inhabitants, the worst had yet to come. The Flowers of Disease arrived, and in a single coordinated strike, purged the living Bandit Queens from the three buildings they were occupying.
By now, the Bandit Queens seemed defeated. Their suburb was crumbling from neglect, and the Philosophe Knights were on the top of their game. However, departure was not to be. Several members of the Bandit Queens had fostered a suspicion in the minds of the Knights, and DT decided to look into them. The revelation that four of the Bandit Queen's members were using alts to further their war efforts, and at least one of them was coordinating his alts as zergs, the Philosophe Knights remained, and upped their efforts against the Bandit Queens.
By the time of the Pole Mall Massacre, which diverted the Philosophe Knights' attention away from the war, the Bandit Queens and their suburb had largely fallen. The Dead, pushing southward on their quest to eat the city, encountered little resistance in Brooksville, and the destruction of the suburb caused the Philosophe Knights to leave, satisfied.

The Flilosophee Knights are fucking worthless.
They’re responsible the wiping out the Bandit Queens in Brooksville which allowed The Dead easy access in the South Western Sector of Malton.

--junkie512, of Team Zombie Hardcore:

Molebank Reconstruction

In Late February, 2008, straight off the war in Brooksville, the Philosophe Knights contacted their beleaguered allies, the Knights of St. Jude, and informed them that the Philosophe's were coming. The Knights of St. Jude eagerly accepted the offer, and preparations were made.
The Philosophe Knights brought along the Quartly Study Group, and together, the three groups began a series of guerilla campaigns against the resident zombies, sleeping in ruined buildings, repairing and powering decoy buildings, and cleaning up the long revive queues in the area.
The operation was, in itself, a distraction. In the Northwest, two smaller groups were rebuilding the notoriously dangerous suburbs making up the Extinction Zone, and Molebank was reportedly a spot where The Dead maintained a high presence, with their original suburb, Dunell Hills, right next door. The reparation of Molebank was a success, with reports of its living population causing large numbers of the undead to flock to the suburb, leaving other suburbs unguarded.
In the end, when other suburbs nearby began to rebuild, the Philosophe Knights departed, leaving the Knights of St. Jude with a strong foothold upon which to continue the rebuilding effort in their suburb.

March 13th
Molebank is, unlike most of the north-west of Malton, alive.
--Tempest56, Molebank Wiki News

Avoided Wars:

Knights of the Temple of the Shrike:

In early February, 2007, the Malton Zookeepers contacted the Philosophe Knights, asking for aid against the Knights of the Temple of the Shrike, a cult which based itself in St Matthias's Church, a building occupied by the Zookeepers. The Cult had begun assaulting the Zookeepers in order to reclaim their church, and had contacted the PKA in order to gain reinforcements.
Recognizing that the Zookeepers were in trouble, Citizen M wasted no time in confronting the cult's leaders, and demanding a stop to their actions. After a few days of back and forth debate, with input from PKA members such as Pathetic Bill and D4rkness, Citizen M issued and ultimatum, and the Knights of the Temple of the Shrike backed down.

I or the Knights have no desire to start a war with the Philosophe Knights.
--Rivermanstx, Knights of the Temple of the Shrike

Flowers of Disease:

In mid October, 2007, the Philosophe Knights received word that a group of killers, know as the Flowers of Disease, had declared a state of hostility on the Quartly Study Group. Rushing to the aid of their allies, the Knights were rebuffed by the leaders of the FoD time and time again. Eventually, the FoD rejected an ultimatum put forth by the Philosophe Knights, and it was decided by both parties that battle would be joined after the Samhain Slaughter, which both groups were attending. However, at the last moment, the FoD declared that they were calling off their campaign against the Quartly Study Group, and that war was no longer necessary.
For a time, it seem to the Knights that no further trouble would arise from the FoD, merely cold relations. However, during the campaign against the Bandit Queens, Knights began to report assaults by certain members of the FoD, including several attacks upon them while the Knights were waiting for revifications. Seeking answers, Citizen VI sought out the Flowers of Disease, only to receive conflicting answers. Hibernaculum, the leader of the FoD, informed VI that there were internal struggles plaguing the group, and that the attacks were being carried out by members who were dissatisfied with the truce that had followed their campaign against the QSG. As the talks continued, it became apparent that both groups had elements which desired war, and elements which desired peace.
In the end, after a peaceful resolution was settled upon by Citizen VI and the leaders of the FoD, the FoD underwent a major change, and was reborn anew, with a close alliance with the Philosophe Knights.

The FOD are planning...this time to fight alongside the Philosophe Knights

I don't plan on being a stranger. Our two groups, I believe can do some good things.
--Hibernaculum, Flowers of Disease

Proof of Concept

The original monologue was posted here [1] on May 31, 2007 05:33 PM

"Hello. If you don't mind, I would rob you of but a moment of your time to inform you of the rampant killing spree commited by the well known and hated Philosophe Knights. The Philosophe Knights claim to spread enlightenment and educate the people of Malton. If this is the case, then they must be toying with a new variety of teaching, one involving the slaying of supposedly "Ignorant" groups, such as the CMS, a group I was formerly involved with. They have recently taken a fancy to murdering Survivors in Caiger Mall, and in the vital Latrobe Building. If you can see a point in this slaughter, than I beg you to kindly inform me of it. Anyhow, as these atrocities continue, nothing is gained but a growing hatred. A hatred for the Knights. On this day, at around 8:00 A.M., I, Jebus the 14th, asked myself a serious question: Why? Why deal with this? Why not take action? At that moment, I decided that I would take my life. I would defy the Knights the oppertunity to kill me, preferring instead to do so myself. I leaped from the Latrobe. I am a martyr. I have lost my life, but I nonetheless urge you to action; Survivors, go to the Hawtrey Museum; slay all Philosophe Knights inside. This is the way to vengance against these vile killers. For those who seek something...more, inform me by way of post, and head to the Blight Park in Dunell Hills, for we have much work to do..."

We commend Jebus14 for his actions, and we hope that others will follow his example.

Back to Top

"To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge."

-- Benjamin Disraeli

Main Page
Return to the main page.

Philosophe Knight ideology and thoughts.

Policies supported by the Philosophe Knights

Member ranking and information.

Kill List
A list of all kills made in the name of knowledge.

Friends, adversaries, and other remarkables.

Information on current and past operations.

All discussion should be kept on the discussion page of the main page or on the forum.

This page design was greatly influenced by the designs of Sirens. Thank you. Other influencing figures include Italo Calvino and Rembrandt.