Journal:Akule

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Comics

The UD Side

By Akule with apologies to Gary Larson.

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  One day, NT Techs will learn that Rotters sleep in revive queues on purpose.

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  Have you been stopped in your tracks by extremely high levels of EHB?

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  Soon, they will find you...

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  Don't you wish locations in Malton came with a similar warning?

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  Now we know why Kevan doesn't allow zombies to follow survivors over the rooftops.

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  Don't ever cross the WIKI LAW.

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  Discord? Sorcery! Burn the witch!

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  Now we know why it's so hard for zombies to break into buildings, let alone get inside.

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  The Amish Liberation Front used their time during Rumspringa to rid Yagoton of the "English" before returning to their normal lives.

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  Unregulated by the government, NecroTech was allowed to monitor it's own safety standards...

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  Radios have long since devolved into playthings of bored survivors, instead of their original purpose as a means of disseminating information for tactical use.

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  Now we know why the Encumbrance rules are so far off.

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  Some survivors can't understand why all zombies don't head over to their local Revivification Point.

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  A common problem for low-level survivors. Eventually, almost everyone becomes a Surgeon.

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  The Philosophe Knights will be glad to accompany you to your safehouse in order to educate you properly.

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  A cautionary tale for new PKers to avoid idling out in the same building that they kill in.

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  During the early days of barricades, zombies had to come up with creative ways to get at entrenched survivors.

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  Thus ending the reign of the Council of Leaders, and now you know the whole story.

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  The Idle mechanic has created more surprises for players than most people realize.

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  Prior to Barricades, survivors had no real defense to zombie excursions.

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  The Tommy Gun was the single most successful hoax perpetrated in UD history.

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  Where exactly do those medical cadavers come from?

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  You can enter Malton any time you like, but you can never leave.

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  The Blackmore Building in Ridleybank contained the most virulent strain of the zombie virus, as evident by the emergence of the Ridleybank Resistance Front.

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  Unlike survivors, zombies sway mindlessly when they run out of Action Points.

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  Unlike Doctors, Dentists are extremely rare in Malton.

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  Revivification allows for a killer to be "sentenced" to consecutive death penalties for murder.

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  The inevitable conclusion of mastering the Survivor Skill Tree.

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  The moment zombies got the idea to start Ransacking and Ruin buildings.

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  UD Players refuse to admit that Kevan has abandoned them.

The History of ENVY They Don't Want You to Know - August 09, 2011

ENVY was founded by TreeBob and his many alts (NaughtyTreeBob, ZombieTreeBob, Ed Poe, TheReckoning1, Leonard Padilla, and Baws) in Feb 2009. Numbers quickly swelled, and at one time they were the second largest active survivor group, mainly due to the encouragement of its members to have multiple alts. Originally, members were placed into four divisions, where each member could have an alt in each division.

ENVY has always been quick to help out other survivor groups in need, and due to their multiple alts, were for a time was a top pker hunting group. Soon, members (notably TreeBob), were zerging their targets, which put a big target on their back from other PKer groups. After thorough investigations, Zerg Hunters sought out ENVY members and their alts, exposing the rampant cheating that infested the group. TreeBob and the leadership were extremely upset, and actually denied the cheating, until it was proven beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Since TreeBobs forced retirement from the group (if you call being outed as a big cheater, despite denying that any cheating took place, and stepped away from the game in disgust since his characters were listed as perma-zergs a retirement), a reformed and now honest player, Murderess has been placed in charge. Due to the great culling of alts, they have since consolidated in Richmond hills. This has led to a rebirth and push for new membership, as the actions of TreeBob made the group a target of continued monitoring for zerging by its members to this very day. Recent activities include The Great Siege of St Mark's Hospital in Richmond Hills Feb of 2010 where 20 survivor have kept a great zombie hoard at bay for weeks.

Plans for the Shrine to the Eternal Arbitration Scrapped in Landmark Ruling - November 29, 2007

Seventy-six days into the Arbitration and the honorable Conndraka made his ruling, ending one of the longest Arbitrations in a while. A bitter battle for both sides, it was evident that while some people were exhausted with the matter, some still wanted more.

Akule News was on the scene as it happened. When Akule first came out of the Sacred Arbitration Dueling Grounds and House of Pancakes, he was quoted as saying: "Right at last! Right at last! Good God almighty, they said I'm right at last!"

After running around with his hands in the air hollering, we managed to calm him down enough to ask him what he was going to do with the partially created shrine.

Akule: Are you calmed down enough?

Akule: Yes, quite.

Akule: So, I heard that you were in the development stages for creating the "Shrine for the Eternal Arbitration", can you tell me what that was about?

Akule: Well, everything seemed to be taking so long. I didn't think it was such a complex case, but my lawyer showed me the documents. He must have talked for hours. Who really could listen to that guy ramble on?

Akule: I certainly couldn't. I just imagined that two kittens were playing, and then made up my own idea of what your lawyer said and went with that.

Akule: Yeah. I zoned out myself.

Akule: So, back to the shrine...

Akule: Oh, right! That was meant to be a joke. I was going to have it built and offer tours, hold quiet gatherings, and the like. It wasn't meant to be a jab at the people involved, just the time it took to get through everything.

Akule: So what are you going to do with it now?

Akule: I'm glad you asked. I plan on turning it into a home for copyrighted images. Re-use the space and designs and turn it into something beneficial. It's for the children.

Akule: I'm sure that they really won't care.

Akule: I don't expect them to.

Akule: Ah. I see we're running out of interest. Thank you for coming and talking with us.

Akule: You're quite welcome.

Thus ends what some people thought would turn out into a vicious blood battle royale. Was the results satisfying? Try the taste-test and let us know. We'll bet you can't guess it was full of Folgers's Crystals.

CoL^3: Unneeded, Unwanted, Unloved? - July 14, 2007

The most important question on everyone's mind is: "Why?" Why bring back the Council of Leaders at all when the Mayor of Malton and the Department of Emergency Management were already handling most of the things that the CoL^3 would be covering. The answer? Nostalgia, power, and not having to do anything. The Original Council of Leaders originally were around as the first group to try and organize all of Malton under some sort of direction. The "New" Council of Leaders otherwise known as the SA Goons, came in on the coattails of the first council. They paraded themselves around pretending to be too cool for school, all the while just pretending to be pale imitations of those who came before. Nothing worthwile came from the "New" Council of Leaders and the whole experience left many with a sour taste in their mouth.

Now, the Council of Leaders (noted by the CoL^3) is trying to muscle in where other groups were doing fine. The experience from the "New" Council of Leaders caused many groups to try and work together and fill in the gaps that were left when the SA Goons decided to flee Malton. The CoL^3's main page gives a brief history of the incarnations of the Councils that came before and state that a need for a grand organization of survivors is needed. Unfortunately they are well over a year too late. There is no mention of what this new Council will end up doing for the Malton. No grand plan, no real statement of what needs will be met, but they have mentioned what they will not do.

With the recent announcement of the reinstitution of the Council of Leaders by the self-appointed Prime Minister Saromu, Elections were opened up in order to allow the leaders from various groups to come together and be a part of the council. The requirements for becoming a councilor is very simple: "To become a Councilor you must be a survivor, not a PKer, leader of a survivor group, voted in by your peers, not a zombie, and in good standing with other survivors. Anyone seen trying to rig the elections by running as a survivor with a PKer or zombie agenda will be disqualified. Votes made by pkers or zombies will be removed. (Note: You are allowed to have zombie and PKer alts but to become a Councilor you must be a survivor when acting as a Councilor.)". Clarification was made stating that only the Council seats were subject to that clause, but the position of Prime Minister would not be subject to such a stipulation, nor would it be up for voting or any way of changing out the Prime Minister short of abdication or death.

The Prime Minister has was quoted the following: "I'm not going to be voting, running for Councilor, or making any decisions for in game policies. I'm going to be the one running the wiki, forum threads, propaganda, and elections. That's all. I have no influence over anything. And my main is Sonny who is in the RRF so I'd be disqualified from voting and running anyway."

When asked if he would be including the Mayor of Malton, he had the following to say: "The Mayor of Malton is a zombie... So that's a no."

Only time will tell on what effect the CoL^3 will have on Malton as a whole, who will be included, and what the voiceless will do in response.

the Abandoned's Shroud of Secrecy - September 30, 2006

the Abandoned has come into the spotlight with several cases of zerging from it's members. While the group claims to be pro-survivor, it seems that there are those who believe that they use underhanded means and cheating to achieve these goals.

I had time to sit down and interview a long-standing member of the beleagured group, to talk with him about the allegations. The following is a transcript of that interview:

(For security's sake, Akule News will be giving him a fake name in order to protect his identity with the group)

Akule: Thank you for joining me today. I'm sure that this was hard for you to do, considering.

Chris dk: Not at all, since we are at (a) cease-fire.

Akule: There are several rumors going around that the Abandoned is mostly a zerging group, and the leadership has had a long-standing "don't ask, don't tell" policy concerning zerging amongst its members.

Chris dk: The first part of that statement is wholely untrue. At least 50% of the Abandoned does not zerg. Frankly, I have been annoyed that these rumors continue to surface. There are plenty of people who do not zerg in the Abandoned and these sorts of rumors hurt their reputation. I can't believe that Akule News would believe such tripe as that. Wholey untrue.

Akule: All right, what about the sec-...

Chris dk: We have, in the past had a "don't ask, don't tell" policy concerning zering amongst the members. Not everyone believed it was cheating to have multiple characters scouting out to protect Yagoton or Millen Hills. Really, it came to the forefront when Doubler rose to the ranks as leader of the group. The Fifth Horseman was caught zerging by an outside source and had to be "punished" for zerging.

Akule: Punished? How so?

Chris dk: Well, he had to "officially" (he made hand gestures to indicate quotes) stop playing the other character in the same area, and everyone was told that he was privately punished. In reality, Doubler really didn't care and just told The Fifth Horseman to keep any further knowledge of zerging to himself, so that Doubler could "officially" have "no knowledge" of any activities. He made sure that the rest of the group followed the same guidelines.

Akule: Why would he want to be in the dark? I would have expected a leader to want to be informed of their subordinate's actions.

Chris dk: If he legitimately had known any "factual" knowledge of any zerging activities made by any of his members, he conscience wouldn't allow him to lie about it. So he preferred to be kept in the dark, so he couldn't have any "evidence" that any of the members were zerging.

Akule: Has this tradition continued?

Chris dk: I have not seen it repealed, but we have not talked about it.

Akule: There has also been some rumors that your group has demanded unreasonable amounts of edvidence that some characters in your group are zerging, and when presented with said evidence, members will ignore it, deny its validity, and/or demand more evidence. Is this a new policy?

Chris dk: Not a policy per-say. Our number one goal has been to preserve our public image with the other groups in Malton, and as such, we have instituted a spin campaign in order to prevent further incidents from taking place. We have done the best we could, but not all of our members are up to the challenge. The Fifth Horseman had to be repeatedly told to not break the arbetration agreement that he had created against you, Darkstar, and Anime Sucks. We also had to close down the public section of our forums and create many levels of security layers between us and the public. We couldn't let our policies become public.

Akule: Are the accusations that The Fifth Horseman has repeatedly brought up about the four original members of the Cannibal Corps, a part of this?

Chris dk: Yes. It was proven that a few people could join or start a group at the same time, even with theme names. Common agreement privately amongst our group is that the Cannibal Corps formed with those four people making new characters for their new group, and some subsequent members using the same list of Native American names for their new characters.

Akule: Why are you coming forward with this information, since you are a member of the Abandoned?

Chris dk: It's simple, really. When we first came to Urban Dead, we were all friends in the Abandonia forums and the game was fun to play. Over time the orignal group started to drift apart, until the dregs of the original members remained. I could still find things to do, but with all of the drama and cheating that has been increasingly become a part of the group, it's just too much. We have to clean house and start over. I just hope that by revealing these secrets to you, we can start the healing process and remove the bad elements of our group.

Akule: I thank you for coming in today.

Chris dk: My pleasure.

The Fifth Horseman - Zerger, Pker, Attention Whore? - September 11, 2006

When The Fifth Horseman quit the first time, his reasons were simple: "Cause I got f***ing bored with the game and have no desire to anymore interact with the mass of retards polluting the UD community. You know who I am talking about." Now it seems that The Fifth Horseman didn't get the hordes of fans flocking to him to stay, and came back. What was the first thing he did? He started breaking rules. Why would he break the arbitration that he requested to be put into place?

The answer is simple. My scathing report finally got to him. He even admitted to zerging! why don't we look at some of 5th's previous statements, shall we?

Here, 5th clearly denies being the player to the sixth horseman, but not a zerger:"I'd like to be removed from your "zerg liste", beginning with the fact that whoever accused me of being a zerger in the first place was either mistaken or was the person who created "the sixth horseman" in the first place. The Sixth Horseman is an impostor, and has nothing to do with me." Then, 5th demonstrates that he knows what a zerger is: "Zerging: Using two or more characters by the same person in a closely coordinated fashion."
Later, 5th requires clarification about the seperate existences rule: "If a person used two characters in the same group, would that mean (s)he was violating the "separate existences" rule? Some people claim it would not, some claim it would. Personally, I'm not sure." Now, The Fifth Horseman openly admits to ZERGING: "While it is true that I have _once_ violated that "separate existence" rule..." "...I was also expressely forbidden by the group leader to create any new accounts unless I also abandon my current one."

It's a sad day for the Abandoned when one of their own not only breaks agreements that he asked to put into place, but also zergs for their cause. Not to worry, true believers! Already a Pundit has moved in to Resensitized and started spinning.
How will the Abandoned stand up to such a blow? Only time will tell.

The Fifth Horseman - Zerger, Pker, Quitter? - August 24, 2006

That is correct folks! It seems that The Fifth Horseman has quit UD thanks to the lack of effort from his teammates and the ineptitude of the current ruling body of the Abandoned. The Fifth Horseman declined to comment for this paper, but it was noted that he was muttering about how the Cannibal Corps, ASS, and La libération de Yagoton (now defunct) had completely defeated him through sending his information to Kevan as a zerger. Is he frozen or did he just quit because he cannot lead? No one knows for sure.

The Abandoned Flee Yagoton - August 04, 2006

-Facing imminent threats from ASS, Cannibal Corps, and La libération de Yagoton (now defunct), the Abandoned packed their bags and "abandoned" Yagoton and Millen Hills to the superior forces. Francis Snottly III vowed that the Abandoned shall take the area again, no matter how many cloned characters it takes to reclaim the suburbs.
In reaction, Legend X, the leader and most notorious member of the Bale Mall Elite issued the following statement: "6th Horsemen is in the SE corner of Ball Mall as of 11:10 est today (friday). I killed him last night and he's back again which lends me to beleive they are obvious zergers."
In response, this reporter had the following statement: "Unfortunately, Legend X failed to realize that the Yagoton Revivification Clinic revives anyone who wishes to be revived, no matter what. All Legend X managed to prove is that he is ignorant of events that happen around the Bale Mall, and has no idea that there is a revive point at Harkness."

Scandal ROCKS the Abandoned - July 21, 2006

Breaking News!
- Doubler, the current leader of the Abandoned, stepped down as leader of the Abandoned on July 18th. Rumors abound following this surprising decision, but current speculation is that Doubler stepped down due to the frequent abuse of Zerging from his subordinates (notibly The Fifth Horseman and Abi79) and the ineffectiveness of his control of his more vocal members. This leaves a power vacuum in the Abandoned as members will vote for their new leader. Word has it that with Doubler no longer leading, the next candidate, Abi79 will most likely assume power and "redouble" efforts to secure Yagoton. However, leaders from La libération de Yagoton (now defunct) have scoffed at the potential change in leadership and stated: "We don't care who runs it. We'll shut them down."