RRF/Malton Herald & Sun/TalkArchive: Difference between revisions
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'''Vito:''' Ah the old Colbert poser. I would say the 2nd greatest UD group they are skilled corrdinated and oh so classy but there is one group better. Ron Burgandy and the Channel 4 News Team. I've been with Ron since before the bearpit and you know what, there is no other group i would have at my side then the C4NT. | '''Vito:''' Ah the old Colbert poser. I would say the 2nd greatest UD group they are skilled corrdinated and oh so classy but there is one group better. Ron Burgandy and the Channel 4 News Team. I've been with Ron since before the bearpit and you know what, there is no other group i would have at my side then the C4NT. | ||
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===Herald & Sun Editorial=== | ===Herald & Sun Editorial=== |
Revision as of 16:53, 1 November 2010
Back-up TalkOriginal version is at RRF/Malton Herald & Sun/BackupTalk and will be moved back here after this is done. -MHSstaff 20:56, 22 September 2010 (BST) Necrotech and Zombies Unlimited Press ReleaseAs of April 1, 2007, Necrotech has initiated testing of a new "zombie socialization promoting pheromone". This scent attractant is particularly effective against the "young" zombies who have only been dead a short while. The pheromone causes those susceptible to gather in large, docile groups, where they are no danger to nearby survivors. The pheromone has a limited range (about as far as a zombie can travel in a day) and Necrotech has limited supplies and production capacity, though we are looking for ways to produce more. As of May 1, 2007, Necrotech is proud to announce it's new partnership with Zombies Unlimited, initiated in an attempt to improve conditions for the survivors of the zombie outbreak in Malton. We will be providing this new technology free of charge to Zombies Unlimited, paying all production expenses out of our own pocket and forgoing any licensing fees. In exchange, Zombies Unlimited will (among other tasks) fly, land, and maintain drones planes, using them to emplace and maintain pheromone dispensers at certain key points in the city, in an effort to draw otherwise potentially dangerous predators to those areas and pacify them. The fact that this activity allows our employees (and hence the company and its properties) to benefit by studying a fairly "tame" mass of zombies is, of course, no sway on Necrotech's altruism. Designated target points for this effort are:
Wire ServiceThe Malton Associated Press, a (relatively) unbiased wire service serving the Malton area, has begun operations. Feel free to reprint stories. --Halocakes 22:41, 20 October 2006 (BST)
Archives
Note: Everything below will eventually be re-wikified into article format again, and added to the archive section in some distant future. We'll see when that happens though.--MHSstaff 22:11, 1 September 2009 (BST) Need to be MovedNews In BriefNote: I have no idea what to do with these. -MHSstaff 20:44, 22 September 2010 (BST) Excursion Destroys SW Malton
GMT Breakfast Club Wins Special Olympics
Mall Tour Rolls
Militant Order of Barhah Forms
The United Front of Zombie Propaganda
Special Olympics Update
Group 0 Descends on South Blythville
Nichols Ransacked for Millionth Time
Red Guards Eat Zombie Chicken
Ruskies, Drago Occupy "Security Zone"
GMT Breakfast Club Takes Early Lead
Ridleybank Cub Scouts Formed
Shacknews Set to Retire
Giddings Falls
Barhah Mall Still Filled With Barhah
Other News Sources
Shearbank Renamed Shackbank
Stickling Mall Ransacked
Mr. Whippey Tastes Gooooood
Mascot Stolen
And The Blackmore Building is Toast! Again
Shacknews Levels Yagoton
Barhah Mall Still Ransacked
Caiger Resistance Front Formed
Game Stats in Balance, Survivors Throw Shitfit
Red Guards Threaten PTT For No Real Reason
Zombie Shot Twice in Head, Gets Mad
Caiger Ransacked
Caiger Re-Christened
Ridleybank Attacked
Blackmore Building Renamed "Green Zone"
ZK'ers Continue to Waste AP
New Strike Team Formed
Barhahween Costume Contest Winners Announced
ZK'ers Waste AP in Blackmore
Barhahween Tomorrow
All Quiet in Caiger, Latrobe Attack Repelled
RRF Lays Waste to Central Malton
Caiger Mall Actually Threatened
Barhahween is coming...
Anti-Caiger Falls
Blackmore Falls
Barhahween Coming
RRF AnthemHere is where you can find the official anthem of the RRF (click on the "re your brains" link to hear it). Also there is an amusing YouTube video for the song made by someone with even more time on their hands than our Executive Editor. Ridleybank Special Olympics CommenceBy Murray Jay Suskind In fields across Malton, a grand new tradition has begun: The Ridleybank Special Olympics. RRF zombies have gathered to compete in a variety of events throughout the month of January in an inspiring display of zombie will, skill and determination. For instance, there is the story of Red Guard Roddy A, who grew up in a small Chinese village without running water and didn't have his brains eaten until the age of 24. Despite such adversity, he now holds a gold brain for possessing the fastest feeding drag in the RRF. Other winners include Braggledorth of Auxunit 10 for the most vicious ransack and Morificant of the GMT Breakfast Club for the 100 yard lurch and the title of fastest zombie in Malton. However, the crown jewel of the Special Olympics has to be the group competition to see which Group or Strike Team can score the most kills and ransacks. The trash talk has already commenced. "We're quite good at killing people," explains hairyjim of the GMT Breakfast Club. "It's what we're best at, and it's a mere formality before we're crowned the champions." This view is disputed by the leader of almost every other group. "Group 0 levels entire suburbs at a time. The only thing that could stop us from winning this is getting our zombahz to actually post their kills on the forums," said Group 0 leader deathbymoshpit. Goolina couldn't help but voice support for her death cultists in the Gore Corps. "Our members kill at rates equal to the harmanz, because we're frequently harmanz ourselves. Other groups may have the hype, but we all know who will pull out the victory." According to Red Guards leader Murray Jay Suskind, "Re-education of the harmanz is the ultimate goal of the Red Guards. Fortunately the beneficient re-education process will gain us ever more glory in these events. All of the harmanz in Malton shall tremble before our Little Books of Barhah and our gold brainz." Also not to be discounted are the Packers, guided by Papa Patrucio himself, the new Ridleybank Cub Scouts, the ransack machines of Auxunit 10 as well as the veterans of a certain strike team that may not actually exist. One thing is for certain, though; a lot of Barhah will be brought to Malton in pursuit of the gold brainz. Group 0 Changing HandsMoved C4NT "Arrogant and Stupid" in RidleybankMoved Better Know an AllyBy Murray Jay Suskind As quick as five dollar whore, the Shacknews horde descended upon Malton, and set a path of destruction the likes of which Malton had never seen. But as quickly as they appeared, they vanished -- seemingly into thin air -- and left Malton, idled out of the game. The times were great while they lasted, and Malton Herald & Sun recently had a chance to sit down with Chronolith, one of the Shacknews Generals to find out more about this powerful, if historic horde. MH&S: Glad you could take some time off during the holidays to talk to us. CL: Well, Malton has some excellent publications; as a zombie, though, I have some difficulty reading them all. Particularly, the ones with words in them... I usually just look at the pictures. For purely educational reasons, of course. MH&S: Much like the retirement of Shacknews, your initial appearence was very swift. Just how did Shacknews pop up so quickly? CL: Shacknews is a gaming website that's been around since 1996 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shacknews). We're a fairly tight-knit community of several thousand people, so the potential for what became the Shacknews Horde had always been there. I first discovered Urban Dead in September 2006 after our Horde founder and general, ZeroDPX, posted about it; being a huge horror-film buff, I signed up right away. One of the most frustrating things about playing as a zombie is finding humans -- most of them hide inside barricaded buildings, which makes leveling up fairly difficult and somewhat discouraging to new players. Not to be deterred, Zero and I continued posting info on the Shacknews forums a few times each day: listing where easily-accessible humans could be found, telling new players what skills they should buy once they leveled up, and so on ( example -- http://www.shacknews.com/ja.zz?id=12836353 ). Existing players got the idea and started participating in these discussion threads, and over time, the description of our nightly activities closely resembled stories. More people got interested enough in what they saw to create new characters, and that's how it snowballed. At the height of our power at Caiger Mall, we had ~250 active raiders participating each night; as of last night, when we officially retired the Horde, just under 300 people were on our nightly raiding instructions list. MH&S: What do you think was the greater triumph: Finally taking down Caiger or routing the PTT? CL: Caiger Mall, without question. Most of the big groups, including the Big Bash and the RRF, were so discouraged by previous incidents of barricade-zerging at Caiger Mall that they refused to return there. We knew what we were up against, but we felt we had both the numbers and the strategy to get the job done. Succeeding where none others had, and in the face of all naysayers, was a very gratifying experience. As far as the PTT (at Stickling Mall) are concerned, they defeated themselves. Our siege of the Whippey Building -- the Necrotech facility closest to Stickling Mall -- was the hardest battle we've ever fought, Caiger Mall included, and the PTT and their allies were relentless in their defense of it. However, once we ransacked Whippey after 9 nights of siege, there was zero resistance when we attacked the mall - nothing. We ransacked one of the corners of Stickling Mall six hours after our first attempt at directly attacking the mall. Once inside, we hardly saw any of the PTTers that we saw nightly inside Whippey -- they were gone. So routing the PTT turned out to be a non-issue for us. MH&S: What are Shacknews' plans for Nexus War? CL: We're taking it easy right now. Nexus War is far more complex than Urban Dead, so it'll take some time before our players become familiar with the game and its intricacies. And after spending 3-5 hours each day, 7 days a week, for 4+ months helping to organize the Shacknews Horde in UD, I've resumed the role of a soldier in Nexus War. I need the rest. :) The potential is there for Shacknews to become another power-player in Nexus War. But in the end, we play games to have fun, not necessarily to win for the sake of winning. If Shacknews never grows beyond a small group of dedicated or even casual players, that's OK, too. Having fun is Priority One. MH&S: You've mentioned that while the Shacknews horde will depart from the game, many of the members will still stick around. Will Chronolith continue playing Urban Dead? If so, what are your plans for him? CL: Last night, the Shacknews Horde travelled to the Brain Museum in Rhodenbank, where most of us will remain for the foreseeable future. That includes Chronolith: I owe that much to my fellow raiders. MH&S: Way to go out on top. On a more serious note: Is it true that you were once caught wearing pants? CL: Not only is it true, but it's also not false! What kind of a leader would I be if I chose to wear pants? MH&S: What, precisely, is appleflappin? CL: Like the term "barhah", "appelflappen" is not something that can be easily defined. What can be explained is that our patron saint, Maarten, is the sole purveyor appelflappen. It is -- was -- the hope of every raider to bring greater glory to Maarten by their own actions. And in doing so, increase their chances of Maarten bestowing appelflappen upon them. MH&S: I see. Final question... The RRF: Great zombie horde or greatest zombie horde? CL: Great zombie Horde, but not the greatest. With the promise of greatness comes the possibility of failure; and by declaring a moratorium against Caiger Mall, the RRF limited not only their capacity for failure, but greatness as well. MH&S: Ouch. Don't know a way to counter that one. Thank you for your time. Better Know an EnemyQuartly Study GroupMoved USSRBy Murray Jay Suskind Cold weather, bleak factories, alcohol consumption. No, my friends, it's not Gary, Indiana. It's Part 5 of our ongoing series: Better Know an Enemy. The USSR: The Fightin' R! Originating from the ashes of the Second Battle of Blackmore (and the related battle at Nichols Mall), the USSR is a survivor group dedicated to protecting the Survivor Security Zone and putting fear into the undead residents of Malton. We recently had a chance to sit down with Public Relations Officer Protomorph in the Vere Cinema. Here's what he had to say. MH&S: Good to meet you. PM: Greetings, my rotting friend. Let me introduce myself. My name is Protomorph and I am the official public relations officer of the Urban Stalkers of Soviet Russia. MH&S: Speaking as a Red Guard, the harmanz are clearly the Capitalist Roaders of Malton. Why would any good Communist want to repair and hang out in malls so much? PM: Exactly. Why would any communist hang out in a mall? If your zombie brains are too rotted to realize this, let me explain... Soviet does not equal Communist. We are the Urban Stalkers of Soviet Russia. Soviet Russia, not Communist Russia. Hah. We laugh at you and your miserable attempt to ask a misleading question. The so-called Red Guards are clearly the capitalist pigs of Malton who invert the ideals of the free and equal Malton. MH&S: So the people who destroy malls, eat brains and live in the street are capitalist pigs? PM: Well, except for the living on the street part, yes. Since the zombies won't let the working people (cops, firefighters, doctors, consumers, etc) to live a normal life, a life where they can safely shop in the malls and wake up with their brain intact, then yes, they are capitalist pigs. Well, just look at them. They destroy the barricades, which were built by the working people. They eat the brains of the working people who are trying to survive through the day! Zombies are greedy creatures, always hungry for more brains, while a normal, working citizen has as much brains as the next guy. And if that's not an indicator that zombies are the capitalists, then I don't know what is. Zombies are clearly the ones who started this mess, and I am sure, if the zombies would stop biting and just quietly surrendered, we would have a peaceful and nice city. Malton belongs to everybody, but it doesn't mean that anyone can go and destroy something that a 100 people, working together, built overnight. Only a capitalist would declare that he has a right to be in charge of other people's property. Am I right or am I right? MH&S: Never thought of it that way, I always viewed the horde as the ultimate proletariat working together to take down the decadent bourgious who hide behind walls. Anyway, the USSR sprung up quite quickly as one of the RRF's strongest and most organized opponents. How did the USSR rise up so quickly? PM: Our founder Mike Madman Calwert has found quite a large number of people who shared the same beliefs that he had. Then, seeing that we are indeed bringing peace and justice to the suburbs of Malton as well as fear into the hearts of the zombies, even more survivors have decided to join us. We are very organized because most of the stalkers are former soldiers and know how to follow orders. MH&S: What are the goals of the USSR? PM: There is a saying, in Malton, you fear zombies, in Soviet Russia, zombies fear YOU! And, since the USSR is here, we will make the zombies of Malton experience the same fear that the zombies back in Soviet Russia have. We will unite the stalkers of Malton. We will clear out Roftwood and the Survivor Security Zone. Hope to see you and your rotting friends there, so I can personally shoot a flare through your head. Then, we will crush the zombie threat in every corner of the fine city of Malton and nothing will stop us. MH&S: Nice Yakov Smirnoff reference. Although I have to ask, don't you have to be alive to feel fear? PM: Trust me, even the undead will feel our wrath. If you rotters have anything left in the place where your brain used to be, they you will experience fear. MH&S: There have been complaints from survivor groups about members of the USSR shooting zombies at revive points. Is this a language-barrier problem, enforcement of your no zombie skills policy or something else? PM: As far as we know, there were no complaints about our members not abiding by the rules of the revive points, so your question is inherently wrong. But I will assure you, my dead friend, that the rule five of the USSR official policy prohibits "attacking zombies on a Revive Point and Sacred Ground (cemetries, churches)." is well in order. Your anti-USSR propaganda will not succeed. MH&S: That info was actually passed onto me by members of the Malton Rangers and the Quartly Study Group (I don't stand at revive points, so I wouldn't know). As far as anti-USSR propaganda goes... Will it succeed when beat you? PM: I would imagine that we would be the first ones to be notified if such an incident indeed took place. Alas, neither Malton Rangers, nor QSG, who I might say are our very good friends, never even mentioned anything about the revive kills. And, above all, I am surprised why would anybody in both of these fine groups pass this kind of information to a zombie. We deny that this kind of incident has ever taken place. As for propaganda - do whatever you want, we know that in the end the truth will prevail. MH&S: Well, there are a lot of Rangers that read this, so now they know to come to you. Getting back to the no zombie skills policy, don't you think that's a bit anti-zedmetic? PM: To answer this question, I will quote Joe Stalin:
So, no. Our policy is not anti-zedmetic. We just don't like those with too much zombie in their blood. Who knows, today you swear your allegiance to the USSR and tomorrow you are working as a z-spy for RRF. MH&S: Don't spies have to deceive others about who they are? I mean, have you ever seen an RRF member that didn't have "Ridleybank Resistance Front" in their profile? PM: Obviously they do and, unfortunately, we cannot protect ourselves against pure-human spies. Our policy is directed to those "people", who are choosing to be a human one day, and after they get themselves killed, fight on the zombie side. MH&S: Would you consider the Survivor Security Zone more like NATO or more like The Warsaw Pact? PM: Both. The spirit of the people are akin the spirit of the countries involved in the Warsaw Pact. Strong and united. The organization of the SSZ is more like NATO. Bringing ruthless destruction to the zombie hordes, by any means necessary. MH&S: Last question, the RRF: Great UD group or Greatest UD group? PM: Niether. RRF will fail no matter what you are going to call yourself. That is all I have to say. MH&S: I'm sorry, the only choices I have are great and greatest. PM: Well, then you are out of choices. MH&S: Okay, how about I just mark you down as saying "great" since you don't think we're the greatest? PM: ...
Vito the DonBy Murray Jay Suskind I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse: Who's a harman enemy that's legendary for both his worthiness in battle and his excellent canollis (if they were only filled with brainz...)? Well, it's none other than part three in our ongoing series, "Better Know an Enemy." Vito the Don: The Fightin' Don! A longtime stalwart of the Corleones, the Channel 4 News Team and former leader of the Malton Rangers, Vito is now running his own C4NT strike team, the UCCS. We recently had a chance to sit down with Mr. Don outside of Fort Perryn. Here's what he had to say. MH&S: You recently started a new strike team under the C4NT banner. What are the goals of the team? Vito: Well the unofficail goal of the UCCS is to try to retake one of the forts, most likely Perryn when we get enough members, I also recently was accepted as to be part of the Gingerbread Men, as i am told some of you zeds still cringe in fear of the name, get ready for a lot more cringing commin at ya soon. MH&S: Huh, I always thought that fear was for the living. Anyway, there's very clearly some animosity between you and Dickhole Guy. He's also very... uh... "appreciated" over at the RRF boards. This being an RRF publication, do you have anything you wish to say to DHG? Vito: Dickhole, you took my group, you slanderd me and you tried to deny events that happen before you joined the NMC. Some words of advice: No one can change the past and as much as you might want to you do not control your future. Though you toppled me, as all tyrants you have made an enemy in the people you control. MH&S: I know I wouldn't want to be on the bad side of a Don. So you've been playing UD for a while. What would you say was your shining hour? Vito: Ahh, the battle of the bearpit, or the Barville invasion. The Corleone's and the C4NT came into the battle knowing we had lost and somehow block by block, we retook Ackland and the surrounding territory. Barville was my idea to begin with so the precursor to Ridleybank was a great operation for tactical growth and resources. MH&S: The harmanz have been having a hard time facing down Shacknews and a resurgent RRF. What do you think is the key for harmanity to counter this zombie upswing? Vito: The key for humanity is definaltly to concentrate our rescources on one front. Spread out we are like picies of string, but together we are that of unbreqakable rope that binds us like a gripping vice. If Harmanity -- excuse me, Humanity is ever to rise against shacknews we need to work and fight as one. [Note: The interview was conducted before the announced retirement of the Shacknews horde.] MH&S: Final question; the RRF: Great UD group or greatest UD group? Vito: Ah the old Colbert poser. I would say the 2nd greatest UD group they are skilled corrdinated and oh so classy but there is one group better. Ron Burgandy and the Channel 4 News Team. I've been with Ron since before the bearpit and you know what, there is no other group i would have at my side then the C4NT. Moved Herald & Sun EditorialMoved OpinionLetter From the Editor
The strike of '07 has been all the rage on the message boards recently. Civilized discourse has fallen to the wayside as various factions have taken to flaming one another, massaging their own egos and getting little that is constructive done. I must admit I completely understand why Feral Undead is leading this strike. The only way that zombies can accomplish anything is with a sick amount of coordination. While the Shacknews horde is still a recent memory, the complete lack of success that a lone feral zombie can achieve on his own has made the game miserable for most zombie players. In turn, numbers of zombies have suffered. UrbanDead is supposed to be a zombie apocalypse, but it's not much of an apocalypse in the majority of suburbs in Malton. Harmanz sit behind securely barricaded buildings, immune to all but the most coordinated of zombie attacks. This is not the way it's supposed to be. Anyone who has seen a good zombie movie knows that the survivors should be the ones who are desperately working together in a coordinated fashion against the random and terrifying attacks of zombies. However, I do not feel that a strike is the answer at all. While the game is flawed, it always will be. All we humble zombies can do is have fun with what we're given. The RRF has gone on excursion in Southern Malton, the Mall Tour has returned and is ripping apart the malls of Northwestern Malton. Sure, we can only impact localized areas at this point, but all that means is that we should impact those localized areas. So in the name of Barhah! I encourage all zombies to make their way to South Blythville or Yagoton to join in the only hopes the zombie side of the action has right now: roving hordes smashing entire suburbs at a time. A CALL FOR PEACEMoved A piece of my mindBy Don Mohagany Special to the Herald & Sun In the name of several Norse Gods, I curse you, RRF! When my compatriots and I decided to crash in the Blackmore Building a few months ago, we realized that it would take an effort greater than any one group to set up shop in the RRF's neighborhood. That's why there were ten different survivor groups occupying Blackmore. (It's science, look it up: Battle of Blackmore.) But apparently the RRF didn't appreciate our 10-1 advantage! No! They had to passively allow other Zombie groups and PKers to enter the suburb and dared to let them strike at our purely symbolic stronghold! Since when does "Barhah" include zeds and survivors outside the RRF!?! Anyway, I was doing a count of my fellow survivors around Blackmore the other day, and what did I find? Over a thousand. Watch out for the guns. So you can have your Shearnews, Ferel Undead and Red Rum (I've always preferred a bottle of Roundy's Premium Scotch myself), my allies will just hole ourselves up in some mall, waiting for you to ransack that as well. You may have ultimately defeated me and my compatriots at Blackmore. But I promise you that me and my news team will assemble and be defeated at a new location in the not-too-distant future. Anyway, I've got more important things to take care of. Like recruiting more groups to our cause while I hang out in suburbs not named Ridleybank. Excuse me. Hey, Aqualung!
Classifieds
Target Practice: A harman by the name of Dickhole Guy has offered himself up as a practice target for the RRF. The brain has an unusually bitter flavor, but it's still a great opportunity for zombahz to get their kill on. He, along with numerous zerging alts, may be found in or around the Blackmore Building and Blomfield Grove Police Department. For sale: Firewood salvaged from former barricades at Blackmore Building. Will consider trading for C4NT or BBB brainz. To claim, simply step out of Blackmore. Found: One small dog. Has name tag that reads "Baxter." Contact Goolina to identify and claim. Will punt if owner not located in reasonable time.
MovedUnlifestylesNew Heights in TrenchcoateryMoved Trend WatchMoved Veal Brainz: Cruel Practice or Nice Meal?Moved Zombah LoveMoved Mistakes Were Made!Moved Excursion II: Son of ExcursionMoved 24 Hours of Pure BarhahMoved Sweet Zombie DreamsMoved Harmanz Take One Building, Claim VictoryMoved Zombie Looks to Win Congressional RaceMoved Better Know A Horde - Group 0Moved Better Know A PapaMoved Better Know a Strike TeamBetter Know a Strike Team - Red Guards Moved Better Know a Strike Team - GC Moved Better Know a Strike Team - GMT Moved Better Know a Strike Team - GBP Moved Better Know a Strike Team - AU10 Moved Better know RB Moved Good mmmmmmmmmmorning Ridleybank!Moved Barhah History MonthMoved Templates for all
Hey dead guys! You interested in putting the template "Press" on the top of your page? Blogrolling the newspapers.--Thegreathal 02:44, 9 May 2007 (BST) Hi
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