The Burchell Arms Regulars/News

The Burchell Arms Regulars The Snug - Crumpled Up Newspaper - Staff Cleaning Rota - Broken bottles, Painkillers & the Jukey - Syzpid's Hobby Cupboard - No! No! The beer barrels go in the cellar! - Cabbie Sam's Dartboard (AKA The Deadbeat List) - The Burchell Arms Employee Of The Month! - Jesus Sante's Patented Drinks & Cocktail Menu NEWS Past and Present B.A.R Events September 15 and 16th, 2012 - "Ging... Gang... Goolie... Goolie... Goolie... Goolie... Wotcha ging gang goo, abadoo!" We're going CAMPING! Check out our cagoul wearing, hiking boot sporting thread on our forum for more details. Or for useful tips on how to light a camp-fire/ some high-quality bawdy campfire songs/ what leaf should NOT be used to wipe your arse etc. etc. August 20th, 2012 - Always looking to give back, the BAR has decided to combine TDTing and pub crawling into one glorious romp. Watch out, we're crawling here! May 28th, 2012 - The BAR is on TDT again! This time we're giving Ridleybank a black eye and Nichols Mall a shot in the backside! April 20th, 2012 - Happy 4/20, for those of you that are into that. By popular demand, The BAR now features Badge Collecting! Who will be the first to get "Golden Shower"? March 8th, 2012 - The winner of The Screaming Bender was awarded today. Congratulations go to Chupadocta, who also suggested the contest. I smell a rat,.....er a woodchuck. Nest year we shoot for a solid month! February 14th, 2012 - In honor of St. Valentine's Day the BAR has started a new contest. We call it The Screaming Bender and it's sort of an endurance test to see who can stay alive the longest. February 1st, 2012 - And now we've started a war with COBRA. January 20th, 2012 - The Flowers of Decay planned to sucker-punch us, but we got to them first. Kind of by accident, honestly. And even then they did kill a heap of us. BUT we've been giving them hell and managed to keep the beer taps flowing to boot! December 28th, 2011 - Due to a zombie break-in at the Burch' the BAR's annual Christmas party was moved to The Batt Arms. It was a festive (meaning embarrassingly drunk) event. August 23rd, 2011 - Unfortunately, this news update is not a pleasant one. The Rolt Heights/Pescodside area apparently has a text rapist on the loose, who has committed the heinous act at least twice, if not more. Sam Ayling is now KOS to the entire BAR and we encourage any local survivors to contact us on our forum if you spot him anywhere. July 13th, 2011 - Biertag '11 is finally over after an exhausting six days. Liquor was drunk, fountains were swam in, and cake was eaten. We finally had to stop because jealous zombies broke inside to kill our buzz. June 4th, 2011 - Toward the end of the massive carnage caused by The Dead, the BAR's very own Father O'Keefe has been awarded the Golden Tap of Valor, the BAR's highest honor (the only time any of us remember it being awarded). He performed a massive 109 AP suicide-repair of The Waish Building NT, which was essential in its recapture. This event was the turning point that put the battle's momentum back in favor of the NE Corner's survivors. March 25th, 2011 - The BAR has negotiated a cease fire with the Big Coffin Hunters (BCH). We hope that this is the start of a lasting peace in the NE Corner. February 28th, 2011 - Dear BAR members! The dashing Clive Rees will be taking over as BARtender, given Father O'Keefe's new duties. If you're new he'll be getting in touch with you! In a good way. February 22nd, 2011 - In light of the recent retirement of a few of our friends from varying positions, new members are stepping up to the plate to receive the torch of leadership. Our very own Beer-Harvesting King, Messenger of the Almighty, and Champion Swigger - Father O'Keefe, will be taking over for Jesus Sante in the position team leader for the Revive Corps. Congratulations aside, you'll all be finding yourselves on a shortage of beer due to the pay-it-forward-with-beer attitude of Keefes upbringing and revive policy. My suggestion is to go and raid Gomez's... O, Hai Thar, Gomez. *Frying Pan* February 17th, 2011 - MrGomez has decided to step down as BAR Owner and will instead serve as a BAR Manager from this point onwards. Joining MrGomez will be the very good Father O'Keefe and the very bad Tyx94. Jesus Sante is taking over as a Co-Owner. February 3rd, 2011 - The BAR has managed to outlast the persistent zombies that were partying in the Burch'. Through careful application of stealth, guerrilla warfare, running-while-screaming-like-little-girls, and leaving Leo behind as a distraction, we have successfully retaken the area. Everyone's invited for Friday's Happy Hour, 7-10. Everything's on Leo! January 4th, 2010 - New Years has come and gone. Along with it, much alcohol, and a mob of zombies. Many still linger, so follow up on the topic "New Years Evil" on the forum. They are unorganized, but viscious. In other news, the Beer Tram has been brought about as the latest addition to the formidable Traveling Drunk Tank! The team's motto is currently under debate. December 9th, 2010 - The cheery STYX fellows showed up on time, and did not disappoint at all, being the grand folks they are. We look forward to more concerts in the future! December 1st, 2010 - STYX Booking Manager Scarpaccio popped in today, along with the arrival of a large group from another suburb. After a few drinks, he came out and got right down to business. STYX, a prestige band that plays anything from covers to singles, has expressed its interest in playing at the glorious Burch'! Leo Leonardo (Or was it him? I'm confused now as apparently I was too drunk and Leo had passed out the week prior in the backroom so we were already starting to divide up his stuff) and Jesus Sante readily accepted the offer, so we expect them to come with quite a whooping concert. Of course, money is no object in this. We give them free alcohol, they give us a free concert. Who knows? We might have them back often, if they're good! Time will tell. For now treat our guests with the utmost hospitality and give them a grand BAR welcome! November 24th, 2010 - A small group of persistent zeds is trying to cause problems, but the threat is minimal. The BAR is solidifying control over the area. In other news, an alliance was formed with Zombra's Pub. We here at the BAR look forward to working with them in the future! October 11th, 2010 - The BAR is currently fighting in The Battle of the Beer Pit. The area is dangerous and should be avoided unless a fight's what you're after. September 26th, 2010 - Both Operation: Beer Right Back and Operation: Dart Board were successful. Speaking on the event, B.A.R. Co-Owner Mr.Gomez, had this to say: "On behalf of the BAR, I'd like to thank all the groups that worked along side us to help restore the northeast. Notably, were the Dribbling Beavers, Mad Craskers, USSR, Earletown Rangers, and the Dulston Alliance. We were met with open arms, bottles, and full cooperation as we fought together to restore the area. We'd also like to thank the Fortress, who's 5th Anniversary party brought in over 100 members to celebrate and then help out. Once again the power of a well placed party is made evident. Lastly, we want to thank all the individuals and locals of the northeast that worked tirelessly to rebuild. I think the survivors of the northeast could pull the pieces back together without our help. But we did our part and expediated the process. And with our friends, we turned what could have been a long and trying task into a rather pleasant pub crawl." The northeast has been restored, and the BAR is returning home triumphant. The first order of business? Getting our home back in shape. Lots of overturned tables and empty cans. The second? Well, we've got some big plans for the future. You'll find out soon enough... Really soon. September 6th, 2010 - Under the dicta- leadership, of tyx94, the BAR is entering a new phase. From this point onwards, we shall be known as the Tyx Arms Regulars (T.A.R.)!!! The TAR shall be strong! Steadfast! Undeafeateable! When asked about their feelings on the matter, several Regulars refused to comment, on the grounds that they had no idea what the "TAR" was. Apart from tyx's drunken/maniacal plans for the future of the BAR, we're currently organizing something big. Something so big and secretive, in fact, that I can't say anymore about it! No, wait, Gomez, I didn't say too much! I swear! Honest, please don'- *frying pan* August 7th, 2010 - Congratulations go to tyx94, the 2010 Winner of the Hang 'Em High competition! The BAR did very well in the competition this year, with three of the top four places going to our Regulars. July 29th, 2010 - In the aftermath of Biertag (or Biertag '10 to be specific, many headaches and vomiting sessions were had. Heck, Jesus Sante even had to see a rehab specialist to deal with his newfound necrophilia! But, there is something to cheer everyone up! The Hang 'Em High competition is about to resume, with 3 Regulars in a great position to win! (And knock out n00bert...) July 8th, 2010 - Happy Biertag! The 2010 Biertag celebration at St. Arnold's was an out-of-control bash. In addition to many Regulars, members of the Dulston Alliance, Rolt Heights Vigilante Patrol and even the Angry Vaginas were in attendance. we would love to give you details, but we don't remember much (thank St. Arnold). May 29th, 2010 - Many BAR members are participating in the 2010 Dulston Alliance Hang 'Em High competition. Local PKers and griefers are encouraged to stay in the area and report their location on the BAR and DA forums. Executions will be prompt. May 7th, 2010 - Word has it that the Militant Order of Barhah will be passing through the area soon. As such, the BAR has been manning the barricades on key resource buildings, especially those in Pescodside where the Clewett Building resides. On the plus side more zombies means more of them to kill, so it can't be all bad, am I right? April 26th, 2010 - A joyous day for the BAR as the legendary MrGomez awakens from one of the longest blackouts in BAR history. April 23rd, 2010 - The BAR loves a good nemesis and a frosty beer. However, the current zergers known informally as the "Poo Crew" are neither. They've made persistent attempts to break into the Burch itself, but the noble defenders have repelled them each time. March 27th, 2010 - Today, the famed Traveling Drunk Tank has reformed! They are currently planning an excursion to see how much beer they can drink and how many zombies they can kill! Will they succeed? More to come, folks... March 12th, 2010 - New BAR leader Leo Leonardo III declared war on the Streltsy after they raided the Burchell Arms. This war will be between the BAR and the Streltsy for now until ally involvement is necessary. Update: Noted NecroTech scientist and friend of the BAR, Caleb Usher, had this to say, "The audacity of these upstart Streltsy borders on the delusional. Which is par for most murderers in Malton. I mean who are they really? They're no Red Rum, that's for sure. Moreso, I highly doubt any connection between them and the original Russian guardsman created by Ivan the Terrible. However, I am liable to believe their connection insofar as the aforementioned streltsy were plagued by reduced effectiveness due to poor training. That does bare some comparison here. Now if Peter the Great were here today I'm certain he would reign them in. It's interesting that a terrible man created the streltsy, but a great man put them down. Something to think about." March 8th, 2010 - Today it was officially declared that the Knight Arms would no longer serve as an active BAR HQ. While the Knight Arms once served as a home-away-from-home over the years, especially for meeting our oldest ally the Dribbling Beavers, the pub has since fallen into disuse as active BAR membership has diminished over the years. With the BAR's current focus on defending Rolt Heights with every available Regular no one has been assigned to maintain the Knight Arms, so henceforth it will be returned to the people of Santlerville. We wish our old pub the best of luck. Febuary 2nd, 2010 - The Burch' is powered and cold drinks are on-hand for anyone who wants one. Local resource buildings are intact and barricaded. No serious zombie problems in Rolt Heights at this time. January 31st, 2010 - BAR members are reminded that the Burch' is currently a contested location. Every day its barricades have been breached, and each night we have repelled all zombie attackers. However the situation is complicated due to GKer and PKer efforts at the pub. January 30th, 2010 - Contact with The Fortress is being maintained, as their rep (a former BAR member) dropped by to chat and discuss anti-zombie strategies. January 8th, 2010 - Recon reports scattered zombie sightings throughout BAR territory. Most buildings, especially resource buildings, have zombies standing outside (and in some cases inside) them. Efforts are being made to defend resource buildings and maintain the free running lanes. January 6th, 2010 - Leo Leonardo III, the current owner of the Burch', announced today the beginning of Operation: Surfing the USS(BA)R. All active BAR members who are interested in assisting in this operation are asked to report to the pre-approved gathering point in Yagoton so that we can work together to aid our ally, namely the USSR. January 2nd, 2010 - The BAR has been working towards reclaiming the area from the recent upheaval with the horde. All BAR members are requested to return to the Burch' for reassignment, especially those who have traveled far abroad. December 31st, 2009 - January 1st, 2010 - The Burchell Arms Regulars wanted to wish every survivor a Happy New Year! Everyone who wants a cold drink be sure to join us at the Burch'. December 24th, 2009 - For those who don't know, December has not been a good month for northeast Malton, as zombies are basically everywhere. So when you read this and wonder why there haven't been any other news updates, yeah, it would have been too crazy to keep track of all the losses and gains. The BAR has been forced to relocate most of its non-geurilla forces to adjacent suburbs in order to continue functioning due to the complete collapse of local resource buildings and RPs. Even so, the BAR will not surrender and we continue to bring the fight to the zombies, regardless of their numbers. November 18th, 2009 - The Burch' was reclaimed, but our sweet beer-related victory did not last. The Burch' has fallen and there are about 30 zombies inside. The zombies, being zombies did what they do, managed to kill everyone inside nefore they destroyed our generator and transmitter. Bloody shame about the generator. It helps keep the beer cold. Efforts to reclaim the Burch' will commence the moment they decide to start buggering off. After all, we love the Burch, but high profile resource buildings still need to be defended. November 8th, 2009 - The barricades at the Burch' have fallen and zombies are walking about like they own the place. The sheer audacity! Attempts to reclaim the beer kegs stored under the Burch' will commence as soon as BAR members return from the local revive points. Update: The Burch' has been reclaimed in the glorious name of beer! November 5th, 2009 - The Burch' has been reclaimed, but the zombies (and Kafka, who apparently really has nothing better to do) have returned. October 14th, 2009 - Kafka has continued to be the annoyance that he is by attacking the Burch' with zergs. With the recent fall of the Burch' he has taken to parking his low-level zombie alts in the pub in an effort to keep it ruined. The BAR is working to clean-up these zombies. September 5th, 2009 - Recon reports that zombie numbers are down, with the only major conflict being 10 zombies outside the Clewett Building. BAR members have been dispatched to aid in its defense. September 4th, 2009 - Kafka was recently reported as being in the area. For those who are out of the loop Kafka is wanted for zerging. BAR members are asked to be on the lookout for this known troublemaker. August 28th, 2009 - With all the zombies in the area over-barricading has become an issue. The BAR has surmised this is due to survivors acting out of fear rather than a concerted effort to block free running entrances. However efforts are being taken to lower barricades where required by "suburb law". August 6th, 2009 - Fighting continues to rage throughout BAR territory, which in this case is mostly along the border with, or inside, Pescodside. Daily conflicts have had Clewett NT, St.Ninian's Hospital, and Schreiber PD as either fallen or reclaimed, depending on the day. The BAR continues to fight the good fight against the horde. July 28th, 2009 - News about Clewett's status these days is flying fast and furious. A real tug of war is taking place as the building is trading hands on a daily basis now. Keep this in mind when determining whether to visit the NT building. July 27th, 2009 - The zombies appear to be spread thin, or grouped together. Same difference really as they abandoned the Clewett Building to hit another target allowing the BAR to eliminate the few stragglers and re-barricade. July 26th, 2009 - The zombies must have gotten wiond of their defeat at the Clewett Building, as a small mob of zombies managed to break inside and kill its defenders. Which led to the BAR to retaliate by reclaiming the NT building again. Which in turn brought about a larger zombie response and now there are 14 zombies inside Clewett. Damn shame. Efforts will be made to recapture the building once more manpower is wrangled up for the operation. July 24th, 2009 - The BAR recaptured the Clewett Building, a proud BAR resource building if ever there was one that did not in fact have beer as its resource. It's been re-barricaded and tagged appropriately. July 21st, 2009 - We've recently celebrated Biertag, and to boot just taken back all essential resource buildings in our area from our zombie adversaries. Plans are in order. For a start we need some generators to cool our drinks! July 2nd, 2009 - A large zombie presence has been felt in the BAR's home turf as key buildings are "ping ponging" between zombie and survivor hands. Despite the BAR's best efforts, lack of activity in the area due to the departure or allies makes it hard for any other buildings to be held. Recently "Smackdown Docta" has been organising the defenses and is doing a miraculous job in holding key buildings despite the odds. The BAR will not back down until the threat is gone and they can return to being in a permanent drunken stupor. May 15th, 2009 - We recently pulled back into our home at the Burchell arms after taking a vacation to our Summer home in Santlerville, The Knight Arms. As we moved back into the area, a horde of zeds numbering roughly 50 moved to the NecroTech building, Clewett NT, and began a siege. Valiant efforts from the BAR and some allies in the form of USSR and TT4W have held for 5 days now. Unfortunately for 'Blazin Guns Tommy' he is getting targeted by the zeds and so they now have a fighting chance. Let the battle commence. April 22nd, 2009 - We have a fight on our hands. Zombie numbers in the area are spiralling out of control. Otto street is out of action (go somewhere else, unless you are a regular and you have arranged a needle). Most buildings in the area are in serious trouble, and with the cade plan ignored due to desperation many entry points are out of action. Febriary 23rd, 2009 - The BAR have designated Mylrea Walk a VS+ Building. We have decided to adopt this building as noone really wants it - and maintaining a VS station in the area is good for new players who chose policeman or military type careers. Talk to samtheman on the forum if you have questions. February 18th, 2009 - The BAR's decided to ramp up it's efforts to help the Dulston Alliance with its zombie problems. While many Regulars have been up there lending a hand, and hoisting a pint, the call's gone out, and we're making it official. January 27th, 2009 - After five days of fierce fighting and many turns, the Tour's moving on. Battered, beaten, and down, but certainly not out, the defenders of Santlerville had taken to guerrilla tactics in an effort to reclaim lost territory, as no strong bastion remained. The Tour may have lost interest, but for us, it was just getting good. January 23rd, 2009 - The BAR's down in Santlerville, to help fight off the Mall_Tour_'09. Since trying to defend the mall is suicide, we've taken up residence in Dewes NT. January 6th, 2009 - While things looked a bit dicey for a while, what with 20 zombies outside Clewett NT, it turns out they packed their bags and left. An attack against Whitlock NT, aka the "Fortress of Science", is attributed for taking away at least some of the zombies as they are currently under siege. The BAR is working closely with the Dulston Alliance to help rid northeast Malton of the beer-spilling zombie menace. January 4th, 2009 - Good news! Clewett NT has been reclaimed. While the BAR would like to take credit for softening the zombies up, the actual acclaim goes to 3 unknown survivors who managed to C.R.A.P. all the remaining zombies inside Clewett and then dump their bodies outside. The report comes from a BAR member who happened to be inside the facility at the time as a zombie trying to weaken a hostile zombie... before being combat revived. Or revived, since he didn't mind. January 2nd, 2009 - Disaster struck as a large mob of 20+ zombies fell upon Clewett NT today and overran its defences. Damn rotters! Efforts are being made to reclaim the facility, but the zombies have been hitting resource buildings throughout the BAR's area leaving lots of casualties and ruined buildings. December 25th, 2008 - The Burchell Arms Regulars wishes everyone in Rolt Heights and Pescodside a Merry Christmas! While the zombies having been causing more trouble in Pescodside lately than normal the BAR continues to fight the good fight for all survivors under our protection. The BAR still plans to have a New Year's Eve party at the Burch', and everyone with a pulse is invited. December 18th, 2008 - As reported, Treweeke Mall has had some zombie problems of late. We may lend the Dulston Alliance a hand in quelling this recent undead insurgency. Regardless, it shouldn't take that long to resolve, after all we have beer on our side and zombie numbers are fairly low. On the flip side, there have been numerous sightings of PKers in the area, indicating they have started to return to Dulston in greater numbers than before. Like rats off a sinking ship the PKers left when the zombies were at their worst, but now that things have calmed down they've all come scurrying back. Typical. December 17th, 2008 - Dulston looks to be in pretty good shape. Everything to the south that we've passed by has been good. The Mall is holding, even if it is the primary target of zombie attacks these days. The Dulston Alliance has been contacted and a request made to see whether they require further assistance further up north. Pending their response, the BAR is ready to leave Dulston in search of other suburbs that need the BAR's help. December 16th, 2008 - At approximately 9:00 PM Central time the BAR strike team rushed into the Waish NT, Pescodside. With only a single zombie in the facility at the time it was a push-over to reclaim the building, re-barricade it, and restore power. Club Godfry was setup as the secondary base of operations in case the situation turned nasty as word spread northwards of the assault. Even so, the BAR is forever confident it can hold its own in the face of the zombie menace. Until then, time for a beer! Update: Club Godfry is barricaded and powered. While ferals have been reported in the area since the Waish Building was reclaimed, none of them appear to be a significant threat. December 14th, 2008 - With a toast of beers, the BAR celebrated the liberation of the Inman Building as the facility was finally secured and the last zombie standing inside thrown to the street. At this time the building is powered once more and efforts are being made to clear Mermagen Street of the 12 zombies standing there looking for revives. December 13th, 2008 - Operation: Dulston Storm is well underway with coordinated efforts being made to assist the Dulston Alliance in cleaning up their primary suburb, namely Dulston, of the remaining zombie holdouts. Efforts are being made to reinforce resource locations throughout Dulston, including Treweeke Mall. The BAR's first objective is to retake the Inman NT in Pescodside so that it can be used as a launch point into southern Dulston. The BAR plans to secure the area and clear the local revive point. Then the BAR will turn its attention northwards and hop from NecroTech to NecroTech doing the same. The Alliance, currently holding out in north Dulston, will do the same, as they head south. The zombies, hopefully, won't know what hit them. December 9th, 2008 - Efforts to reclaim lost territory of the BAR have been well underway for over a week now, with excellent results. Details will be delivered when they become declassified. December 1st, 2008 - The BAR is changing forums. The official launch date of the new forum is December 11th, 2008, but registration is well underway. The new forum, although deceptively similar in appearance, will contain several new features including a link to the BAR's official chat room on the nexuswars server. The URL is http://burchellarms.proboards.com November 25th, 2008 - The BAR continues with more of the same this week, as reports from the Regulars have shown we are determined to fight for the buildings in our area. The Burch' continues to be a target of zombie attack, with a serious breach yesterday that lead to the pub being overrun, but with a swift BAR response today that once again secured the Burch' in our hands once more. If the zombies really want our beloved Burch' they're going to have to try much harder. In other news, the BAR has reclaimed both St. Herman's Hospital and Schreiber Drive PD from the zombie menace. Also barricades were strengthened at St. Ninian's Hospital in an effort to keep both hospitals up and running. The status of the Clewett Building is unconfirmed, but it's believed to be operational. November 19th, 2008 - The BAR continues to fight the good fight against the zombies plaguing the area. At this time strong efforts are being made to hold the Burch', St. Ninian's Hospital, the Clewett Building, and Schreiber Drive PD. While the Burch' has been holding strong, Clewett NT has had some tough times. The revive line at Otto Street is long and will probably remain that way until a secure supply of syringes can be acquired. November 10th, 2008 - Angered by the thought of not enjoying his daily pint, Tommy1504, or "Blazin' Guns Tommy", singlehandedly retook the Burch'. Even so, he was only able to raise the barricades to Quite Strongly as there are... how do you put it... "more important buildings" still left to reclaim. How something can be more important than beer is anyone's guess, but ammo and syringes have been known to be "right up there". So to speak. November 9th, 2008 - Zombies with, or associated with, the Militant Order of Barhah, have swarmed up from the ruins of Dunningwood on their way northwards towards Dulston, and as a result have attacked Rolt Heights along the way. The Burch' happened to be one such target and was reported fallen. It was a terrible loss as we know zombies have no appreciation for beer. For now we are working to reclaim the Clewett NT and St. Ninian's Hospital. October 31st, 2008 - To commemorate the flawless victory of the BAR against the zombie mob that threatened the Clewett Building the following two scans from October 22nd to October 31st, really help show the difference that we helped make: October 25th, 2008 - Thanks to hard work, and harder liquor, the Clewett Building has remained securely in the hands of survivors for the past week, while number of zombies seiging the facility have dropped off significantly. No doubt the zombies can tell they won't get anymore easy meals here and are heading off to bloodier pastures elsewhere. We consider this a hands down victory for the BAR and the people of Pescodside. A free rounds of drinks for everyone involved! October 18th, 2008 - The BAR continues to fight against the horde in Pescodside, with the Clewett Building being one of the most contested resources under BAR control. Over the past week the number of zombies sieging the facility has risen from 20 to 30 as they continue to attempt to overwhelm our defenses. Even against these odds, so long as the beer supplied from the Burch' continues to flow we are determined to hold Clewett NT. Long live the BAR! September 16th, 2008 - Anti-zombie warfare continues to rage throughout Pescodside as the BAR launched a new offensive to protect its assets within the war-torn suburb. As zombies continue to assault the Clewett Building the BAR is working hard, and drinking harder, to keep them at bay. As such, all Regulars are reminded to bring more ammo, syringes, and beer to the NT building so we can better defend it. The standing order of the day: Bring more beer! September 5th, 2008 - Today Clint Harbringer (aka "Sam the Man"), co-owner of the BAR as decreed by the late Jim Phil, retired from the BAR. At the Burch, holding a beer aloft, Clint spoke these final words to his fellow BAR members and patrons: "I've had many many good times with the BAR, and I found that it was seriously ace to help make a clan and watch as more and more peeps joined and we kicked some serious ass (RHW anyone?). You guys are great. Keep it up!" September 1st, 2008 - The BAR is proud to announce that we've joined the Malton Uprising. While we do not completely agree with all the reasons some of our comrades fight for, we pride ourselves on never going back on our word, and will stay the course until this issue is resolved. As for our reasons, Mr. Gomez, BAR Manager and Diplomat had this official statement:" There have been minor conflicts with the DEM in the past regarding barricade plans and taggings. We also find offense at the way the majority of DEM leadership conduct themselves when dealing with other groups. These are all minor things. The issue we have, is with the Rogues Gallery. While the DEM claims they are not the same as the RG, what is clear, is that they created the RG, its policies, and they are the largest supporter of the system. For the BAR, this Uprising is just a step towards our goal of dismantling that broken system. The Uprising is a tool for change. These issues are ones that have been argued on Brainstock ad naseum for quite some time, and nothing has come of it. It is time for a different approach. To the DEM, I respectfully request that you do not come into Rolt Heights, or the NE corner until this has been resolved." August 5th, 2008 - The TDT launched today with much fanfare and revelry. As traditional, the destination is kept secret to all but a few. Rest assured that, many a great tale will be revealed once their mission is complete. July 9th, 2008 - Today was spent recouperating from the festivities at Biertag '08. All that attended admitted to having "massive hangovers", save one. When questioned about how this Regular, who wishes to remain annonomous(and rightly so), was able to stave off the inevitable, he remarked," It is an ancient secret, so terrible is the practice and its price, that half of you would go mad from the description, and the rest would surely kill me for my transgressions against all that is mundane". The mind reels with possibilities, and perhaps a vertigo of sorts. And as always, Chthulu calls. July 8th, 2008 - The BAR celebrated Biertag '08 at St. Arnold's Church with much drinking. May 5th, 2008 - Everything is OK in Rolt Heights and I for one am enjoying having a rest. --SamtheMan 23:07, 5 May 2008 (BST) April 19th, 2008 - After numerous attempts to hold the pub, we have been hurled back and killed. Our group is scattered, our pint glasses are empty. Its time for the B.A.R to change with the times, we are becoming a mobile group. Just as when we changed to fight the PK'ers in the Rolt Heights War we will prevail! Wherever there are pubs the B.A.R will be! For more info on new tactics, check the forums. April 3rd, 2008 - The NE corner is swamped with zeds, and we are having trouble keeping the revives going. After a brief respite we are under pressure again, but this is what the game is about! Zambah Apocalypse. Advice is to evacuate the immediate area and head somewhere that looks like its heavily caded. March 27th, 2008 - That general influx turned overnight to attack the 'burch. We are currently battling the enemy in our burb, bringing in syringes to help the peeps at Otto street. It appears that a coalition of the dead, the big bash and other zombie groups attacked our beloved Burch. March 23rd, 2008 - There has been a general influx of zombies into the area. Inhabitants should remember that entry points are jsut that and not to over-cade as that just makes revive queues larger. Currently Otto Street revive point has 27 people waiting , this is the largest queue i have seen while the NT is still operating and not under siege! Any help people can give would be extremely appreciated in keeping the queues down. March 10th, 2008 - Local area is back in good condition. B.A.R recon shows that area is healthy around us and we hope to keep it that way. Some break-ins reported, but revive queues are low and ammo levels high. February 23rd, 2008 - Our attempts to re-take the Burch' were not in vain. Though we are under constant siege, we have provided enough safehouses for locals to move back safely and together we have cleared Otto Street revive point down to 9 people. There is still much zombie resistance with break-ins common at entry points and resource buildings. Once Otto Street has no people waiting for revives, it is anticipated that we will (unless its already been done) clear Mermagen Street revive point and helpe people there recover. February 11th, 2008 - After the area was thoroughly killed by the Second Big Bash, the B.A.R have been amongst the first (that we can find) to set up a safehouse. Operations are going well, but we still need to take back our local NT. Nonetheless progress is being made and RH/Pescodside locals are beginning to come back to our area. As soon as our area is in good condition we intend to help our buddies in Dulston and Santlerville. --SamtheMan 17:16, 11 February 2008 (UTC) February 6th, 2008 - We have been attempting to hold back the Second Big Bash, but we are getting seriously pasted. They just have too many zombies and are steamrolling through our EHB buildings faster than we can dump and cade or even meatshield them. Casualties are extremely high so revive queues at Otto Street have taken a big hit. For more information, check out the forums. We are planning to mount some serious counterattack and as always, we will be fast to recover. --SamtheMan 19:36, 6 February 2008 (UTC) January 30th, 2008 - Dulston is a green 'burb, and the B.A.R are proud to have been part of it. Now we are chilling out and having some beers, killin a few PK'ers who seem to want to crash our party and occasionally shooting the hell out of zeds that keep getting into Skarin Row. Happy new year everyone. Oh, and if the forums look dead, thats cos the management have been forced to make them not viewable to new members due to incessant zombie and PK'er spying. --SamtheMan 16:07, 26 January 2008 (UTC) December 28th, 2007 - The B.A.R are and have been fighting up in Dulston for a while, but there is some serious shit goin on up there so we aren't making much headway. The Burch' is in good (if inebriated) hands and the management of the B.A.R wish anyone reading this a Merry Christmas! --SamtheMan 13:46, 28 December 2007 (UTC) December 8th, 2007 - The Burch' has finally been reclaimed. Those few zombie stragglers in the Burch were dealt with in short order as the BAR was eager to resecure their home. Of course celebrations will have to hold off until additional beer supplies can be located as the Militant Order of Barhah apparently swiped all the suds. Talk about ungrateful guests! They probably would have stolen the sinks too, if we hadn't taken the precaution of bolting them down. December 6th, 2007 - While the Burch', which fell not long after Jim Phil's speech, is still in zombie hands with 18 zombies inside the pub, the BAR has managed to achieve one of its objectives. Working with the Dulston Alliance we managed to recapture the Clewett Building NT in Pescodside. Not only that, but we've held it against 5 attempted breaches led by the Militant Order of Barhah. While our pub may still be in their filthy hands, and they are probably drinking our beer... have no doubt we will return to reclaim what is ours. December 4th, 2007 - With the Burch' only just liberated from the zombies of the Militant Order of Barhah our illustrious and oft inebriated leader, Jim Phil, made a shocking announcement: "Listen up Regulars, allies, and spies! Tonight I am retiring. As much as I have enjoyed working with you in the twenty months I've been here, there are simply too many other distractions vying for my time right now to feel that I am not giving the BAR enough of my attention. This is not to say that I won't pop in every now and then to down the occasional zombie or beer - but these ventures will be infrequent, at best. I'm in a relatively secure spot at the moment. When things clear up down the road, I'll move back into the Burch' and let him finally rest in the finest establishment to ever pour a pint in Malton. "I'm listening to a random playlist - and by chance the song Closing Time, by Semisonic, just came on. How unbelievably corny - but sort of sad, nonetheless. "I'm turning control of the BAR over to Tommy Monahan and Clint Harbringer. They've been the driving force behind this group for a long time now, along with Caleb Usher - so you're in good hands. How they choose to proceed - promotions, restructuring, etc - is their decision to make. I have no doubt the BAR will continue to flourish under their leadership, and will benefit from their plans for the future. "Thanks for the opportunity to be a part of the Burchell Arms Regulars. It's been my distinct pleasure to have known such a great group of guys and gals. Hell, even the enemies of the BAR are cool (for the most part)... Anyhow - I could go on and on about all the zeds we've killed, all the chucklehead killers we've fought, all the 'cades we've 'caded, all the beer and buckshot and so forth - but you all know the deal. Carry on the good fight, Regulars, and drink up. May your beer stay cold, your guns never empty, and your experience grow like the mighty oak. Cheers!" November 30th, 2007 - Tragedy has struck the Burch', as 16 zombies managed to breach the pub's defenses and overrun the building. Regulars put up one hell of a fight, but in the end the Burch' fell and was ruined. The blame appears to fall squarely on the shoulders of the Militant Order of Barhah, as they've been causing trouble in the area ever since Santlerville. M.O.B forum spying reached such an obvious and detrimental level for the Regulars that we have been forced to upgrade and organised to prevent information being used against us. November 19th, 2007 - Veteran BAR Managers Clint Harbringer and Tommy Monahan continue to lead the fight in Santlerville as zombie numbers ebb and flow within the area. NecroNet scans from the Dewes and Hall Buildings show the overall tactical situation: November 16th, 2007 - Dulston seems to be handling its zombie infestation pretty well, so B.A.R resources are being redirected to see what we can do in Santlerville. On a more unusual note, the B.A.R says farewell to Employee Blanemcc who has resigned and started his own group - The Northern Regiment. We wish him and his group all the best! November 15th, 2007 - It looks like we spoke too soon. Zombie hostilities in Santlerville have resumed with a vengeance. So far the Militant Order of Barhah have managed to ruin St. Boniface's Hospital (which has since been reclaimed), breach Dowdney Mall several times, and have taken to clogging revive lines. Regulars are advised to attend to their current assignments, whether it is in Santlerville or Dulston. Should the need arise, Regulars may be called in from Dulston to assist with the situation in Santlerville. November 14th, 2007 - Zombie combat in Santlerville has apparently died down after several attacks against key resource buildings ended. With only killers in the area causing any problems the BAR has opted to turn its attention instead to another suburb in need of pest control, namely Dulston. And what better zombie group fits the bill for pest control better than one called Infected "Swarm"? November 10th, 2007 - The Traveling Drunk Tank (TDT3) has officially ended. While initially unimpressed by Ridleybank, the BAR found that zombies came out of the woodwork not long after their had arrived and continued to make it hard for the BAR to make any real progress within the suburb. After one final long-fought battle Tommy called an end to the tour, as events nearer to home required the BAR's entire attention. So bidding farewell (and good riddance) to Ridleybank, the TDT3 headed back northeast with their new goal being Santlerville and the oncoming Militant Order of Barhah. November 7th, 2007 - While late for the 5th of November operation, the Traveling Drunk Tank (TDT3) has finally rolled into Ridleybank with one goal in mind... the complete obliteration of the RRF! While no one is certain it's commonly believed that this tactical goal was reached after a planning session that involved a hard night of drinking. Some may say that this places serious doubt on the achievability of the BAR's goal in the suburb, but in all honesty the members of the TDT3 are far too drunk to care about the outcome and so long as there is drinking to be had they will be there fighting the good fight. Upon their arrival in the suburb Tommy Monahan announced, in his best rock-star voice, "Well Hell-ooo Ridleybank!". When asked to comment on the current state of the suburb Tommy commented, "So this is Ridleybank? Pfah." November 4th, 2007 - The TDT3 has bid a not-so-fond farewell to Jensentown. Due to growing zombie numbers and a decidedly poor survivor assistance rate it was decided that the suburb really wasn't worth saving after all. In light of recent Extinction horde activity the TDT3 has remobilized and are preparing to head out to a new target suburb. Which suburb has been selected has yet to be declassified. October 31st, 2007 - The BAR would like to wish everyone a Happy Halloween! Well, except for zombies and any douchebag killers, they can just suck on a lemon. But for everyone else beer and candy! Candy and beer! Beer and beer! More beer! Whooo! Party time! October 25th, 2007 - Efforts by the TDT3 to restore survivor control to Roywood met unexpected resistance and then took a tragic turn as high numbers of Extinction zombies assaulted newly established BAR safehouses in the area. With many BAR casualties reported Tommy Monahan gave the call for a tactical retreat back to Jensentown in order to regroup and revive (not exactly in that order). October 24th, 2007 - Tommy Monahan, as leader of the current Traveling Drunk Tank (TDT3), was reported to have given the following speech to his men, "Gentlemen. The time has come to move on. The BAR's Drunk Tank work in Jensentown has been nothing less that astounding. In short time we've done what the locals couldn't do in months. I salute you." When asked what the next goal of the TDT3 would be Monahan confidently replied, "Our next stop is Roywood. It is classified as a ghost town. We're not out to get the 'burb up and running like we did Jensentown, but rather to get survivors back in there." October 22nd, 2007 - Tommy Monahan, who was leading the Traveling Drunk Tank (TDT3) on its current mission, had this to report to the BAR, "Great work everybody! It looks like we finally got the dead ass locals to pitch in. Jensentown is looking better than maybe it ever has. Both NTs are 'caded and powered. Most of the buildings are also 'caded and quite a few are now powered. Not a lot of zeds to be seen. The biggest group I saw were 5 standing outside a warehouse by the NT to the north. Otherwise, it's just loners." Without a doubt the BAR's efforts there have helped make Jensentown a safer place for all beer-drinking survivors. And for that we salute the brave members of the TDT3. October 14th, 2007 - The Traveling Drunk Tank (TDT3) has been spotted doing the BAR's good work in Jensentown over the past few days. Unfortunately heading into the very heart of hostile zombie territories has its price, and this could not be proven more so when the BAR's recent stronghold in the suburb, namely the Shears Building, was breached and overrun by zombies from the Extinction horde. The battle was intense, but in the end many BAR members fell alongside our illustrious leader, Jim Phil. Survivors who were present during the battle said that Jim Phil fought with the strength of 10 drunkards, wielding a shotgun in one hand and a frothing mug of cold beer in the other. It's said that only after both were emptied did he finally fall. September 27th, 2007 - While digging around for some beers in the back room an old photo taken by trb3h7 was uncovered. Dated 'August 5th, 2007' it proved that the spirit of the BAR could truly be found almost anywhere: When asked about the photo trb3h7 had this to say, "I tagged it just because... well... just because I could and it felt like the right thing to do at the moment. If I could I'd tear down the street sign and hang it in the Burch'. Now that would make for awesome decoration!" September 25th, 2007 - With all but a mere handful of zombies to be seen in Santlerville at this time the BAR's can't help but assume that the Extinction war machine has finally run out of gas. Talk has been floating around the it's time for The Traveling Drunk Tank 3 to start up so that bored BAR members can get to where the action is... In other news St. Spyridon's Hospital is apparently under siege again. Will those zombies never learn? September 18th, 2007 - The battle still rages in Santlerville as the BAR fights alongside their brothers-in-arms, the Dribbling Beavers. One of the more contested battlegrounds was St. Spyridon's Hospital, which has been taken and lost over the past week. On this day survivors hold the hospital, but zombie numbers are greater than expected so local reinforcements have been called in to help support those Regulars already there. We raise our beers in toast to those brave souls fighting to hold back the horde. September 11th, 2007 - Today the Regulars got together at the Burch' and drank beer until they passed out on the floor. Well okay, in retrospect this would hardly be considered "news". September 6th, 2007 - The recent fall of Treweeke Mall (again) has brought to light the fact that survivor numbers in Dulston need to rise more significantly before retaking and holding the mall becomes a reality. With this in mind, and new trouble brewing to the west, the BAR has begun to reposition some of its forces back to Rolt Heights, specifically at Ayliffe Street PD. As this police station is close to Rolt Height's border to the west we intend to use it as an outpost from which to monitor zombie activity from that direction. In the meantime though zombie hunting activities in the area will continue, since zombies spread like weeds everyone knows that if you don't keep cutting them down you'll soon regret it. So until a real threat appears the BAR intends to "trim the undead hedges" a bit, so to speak. September 4th, 2007 - The BAR has been helping the survivors of Dulston in retaking Treweeke Mall, but so far the battle has been a tug-of-war as zombie numbers have dropped and risen from day to day within the mall. At this time there are currently 20 or so zombies inside one corner, a recent peak in activity after the handful of zombies last spotted there over the weekend. Even so, the BAR has no doubts survivors will eventually reclaim the mall, as it's one of the few causes survivors actually consider worth fighting for in Dulston. September 2nd, 2007 - There have been rumors that a zombie threat is heading eastwards from west Malton. The obvious guess is LUE, but some speculate it might be a several zombie hordes merged into one massive horde. Regardless of the threat though, the BAR will be ready to defend their home from any zombie invaders. Let them come like a massive wave only to break upon the rocky shores of the BAR! August 28th, 2007 - Reports are showing the Dulston is in ruins, but the mall appears to be ripe for retaking as even though it's in bad shape there are only 13 zombies inside it at this time, whereas before there were 6 times as many. On the flip side Rolt Heights is holding strong with very little zombie activity within sight of the Burch'. That may change, but for now the BAR is enjoying the lack of hostile activity by assisting neighboring suburbs with their zombie problems. August 23rd, 2007 - As DORIS plans for its "PKer Party" in Dulston for tomorrow the BAR has worked towards thinning out some of their numbers and perhaps reduced the impact on the most obvious target of their misguided affections, namely Treweeke Mall and its mall rats. While the BAR doesn't really care for the survivors who hide in the mall we rarely like to see killers have their way unopposed, so the executions will continue until they get the idea and move on to greener pastures. August 22nd, 2007 - An interesting rumor has it that DORIS, which has invaded Dulston yet again, has arranged to have LUE invade the suburb after they are done with it. The BAR finds this rumor a bit absurd since the suburb already seems to be under heavy zombie attack and LUE probably could find a better target in their sleep. Still, it's worth keeping an eye out for trouble from the west... August 15th, 2007 - For those Regulars who were not in Santlerville this is to inform them that they missed an AMAZING stand at the Knight Arms against LUE and other assorted undead. Every other building in Santlerville had fallen to the horde, but the Knight was still standing, with the lights on and the beer still cold no less! Every survivor in the area flocked to the pub and with strong reinforcements coming from the Burch' and The Dribbling Beavers, we held off every single zombie incursion. Even after suffering several break-ins the zombies soon discovered that it was impossible to overrun the small pub, no matter how great their numbers. To this we toast, "VICTORY, GLORY, BEER!" In other news, the BAR has heard of a small survivor group called the Buckrell Arms Troops (BAT), who are named after their home pub the Buckrell Arms over in Gibsonton. The group appears to be very friendly and talks are already underway on a possible alliance with them. The BAR has always been an advocate of good beer-drinking groups teaming up for the betterment of Malton. August 10th, 2007 - The BAR's reputation for serving only the best beer in Malton seems to attract all sorts, including hooligans like those from the Leighton Kru. Several Regulars were killed during the fight, which oddly enough included several Leighton Kru zombies as the BAR has been hunting Kru members ever since they hit the Ablett Arms in Rhodenbank. A lot of beer was spilled and the BAR plans to collect what's due in the days to come. August 8th, 2007 - LUE has "about-faced" and instead headed off to Shearbank to attack Stickling Mall. In all honest truth they probably realized Treweeke Mall wouldn't be worth the trouble to even walk over there, as they appear interested in challenging sieges, something Dulston isn't famous for being one of the city's sleepiest suburbs. Or at least it was until recent months. Long story short, no LUE threat to Rolt Heights. August 1st, 2007 - With LUE having finished with Santlerville they appear to be on the march for Dulston now. The clearest route to Dulston from Santlerville is through Rolt Heights, but the BAR will keep it pledge to always defend the Burch' so any zombies who come a knockin' will soon find themselves bleeding in the gutters outside instead. July 30th, 2007 - The Plague have continued this attack on the Burch', in complete denial of the fact that they lack the man- err "zombiepower", to overrun the pub. But break-in they do and have been doing so for the past 3 weeks, with the exception of Biertag on July 8th (see below). On a side note, it's now commonly believed that the Burchell Arms Irregulars were never a threat as reports of the hooligans involved with this group show them to be nowhere near Rolt Heights anymore. In our book that shows really poor sportsmanship to challenge the BAR and then run. Update: LUE has begun to overrun Dowdney Mall. While the Knight Arms is still secure it will not be long before the horde sweeps northeast to Dulston in order to attack Treweeke Mall, or so everyone says and we believe them. Therefore the Burch' is preparing for the oncoming surge in zombie activity. July 20th, 2007 - The Traveling Drunk Tank has departed once again! Their plan is to bring excitement and fun, BAR-style, to the farthest reaches of Malton! Details of just where they are headed are currently classified to ensure job security. You can rest assured though that wherever their destination, it's about to get a lot more Awesome! July 10th, 2007 - In what proved to be yet another glorious victory the BAR has proven that no force, not even those that employ lame tactics, can possibly stand against them. Such was the case with St. Anastasius' Royal Guard (SARG), whose infamous zerg tactics proved time and again that they were the true Masters of Lame. To strike back at these interlopers the BAR launched a daring covert mission entitled "Operation: Lame Away". The mission's goals were two-fold: clear St. Anastasius's Church, HQ of the SARG, of all its members and then claim it in the name of the BAR. BAR veteran, MrGomez, was chosen to recon the situation at St. Anastasius's Church and take action only if he felt he could succeed in the mission objectives. What MrGomez found was that SARG had left their HQ completely undefended! In what will no doubt go down in the annals of military history as a true bloodless victory MrGomez seized control of the building from SARG without even needing to kill a single person. With both objectives of "Operation: Lame Away" completed MrGomez headed home, basking in the glory of his victory against the SARG. Some might consider the victory hollow, but considering SARG's past tactics the BAR felt it only fair to return them in kind, and in doing so, show them exactly how easy victory truly could be when you set the bar low enough. July 9th, 2007 - Biertag has ended, but the general goodwill spread among those locals who attended may outlast the one-day event. The BAR partied with many other like-minded survivors during the festival, including members of the Rambling Drunks and the United Bar Alliance. Not to mention allies from the Dulston Alliance who dropped by to help celebrate. The more surprising guests who attended were several hit men and RRF zombies who only wanted to join in the fun. Truly, it was a one-of-a-kind day. Until next year that is at Biertag '08! July 8th, 2007 - The BAR celebrated two joyous occasions on this day. The first was Biertag, the holy "Day of Beer" which was attended by many Regulars at St. Arnold's Church on the west-side of Rolt Heights. The second special event of the day was the wedding of Maria Lombardi, Patrol Leader of the Rolt Heights Vigilante Patrol, and Tetha (Lombardi) which took place at the Burchell Arms pub. Those Regulars who had chosen to stay behind at the pub joined in the wedding celebration and wished the happy couple all the best in the days to come. Afterwards there was much celebratory drinking, and non-celebratory drinking, ...truly it was hard to tell which was which, but regardless there was certainly a lot of drinking involved. July 5th, 2007 - A well-organized, if small, group of zombies have begun to attack the Burchell Arms! The zombies belong to The Plague, a dangerous zombie group skilled at overrunning buildings that are said to be traveling across Malton, which is no doubt how they arrived at the Burch'. Today the zombies left a message, and as we all know the BAR enjoys a challenge! So let's show The Plague that they can't take the Burch', at least not without a fight! Update: In a surprising turn of events The Plague has learned about Biertag and have temporarily called off their siege of the Burch'. It seems they felt it wouldn't be a fitting challenge if most of the Regulars were off celebrating Biertag at St. Arnold's Church while they attacked the pub. Very sporting of them. As such, they intend to return next week... and the BAR will be ready for them! We can hardly wait for the fun to begin again. ;) June 28th, 2007 - During the sudden increase in local murderer activity MrGomez, a member of the Knight Watchmen team, stepped in to take names and kick ass. His first execution for the day was none of than wanted killer Gift (Hobos Guild), who he dealt with in Club Hardyman, Pescodside in his now "classic" style. While unconfirmed, the ladies may wish to know that Gift was killed by an unknown object pulled out of Mr. Gomez's pants. Seriously ladies, it's big and he has to carry a license to use it. Also, when it goes off there's a lot of kick-back too. Is it a shotgun? Mr. Gomez would prefer to let the ladies find out for themselves. Ohhh yeah... ;) June 27th, 2007 - Last night several hooligans loosely associated with the blood-thirsty Malton Euro 2008 Commission, a murderous group from out of West Grayside, attacked the Burchell Arms. It appears though that they have formed a new group called the Burchell Arms Irregulars. At least 6 Regulars were reported "down" before the hooligans, what's happened and Gondo Gondo ran off into the night. Regulars are also reminded to be on the look-out for known accomplice Shiv Jones. These deadbeats are wanted for spilling precious beer during their brawl and not paying their bill before they escaped. Last, but most important, they are accused of grievous ignorance leading to a WTF moment, when they publicly admitted to just having figured out that the Burchell Arms Regulars were at the Burchell Arms. June 22nd, 2007 - During the five day bloodbath the BAR and its allies achieved over 63 confirmed kills of St. Anastasius' Royal Guard clones. A more decisive victory could not be asked for as what little dignity the SARG may have had has been reduced to ashes. In the final days of the conflict even well-known murderers, like Knightmonger, were willing to set aside their differences with the BAR in order to assist with executing these abominations. Now though it is finally over and the BAR can move on to more important things, like drinking beer. June 17th, 2007 - While rearming himself over at Treweeke Mall, veteran BAR member MrGomez discovered that someone had spray painted a message about him on the wall: Of course if the goal of the perpetrator's tag was to offend MrGomez he had badly missed his mark. Rather, this message served only to advertise MrGomez's "expertise" with the ladies and further his fame (in bed). So let it be known, when the chips are down, MrGomez knows how to treat the ladies just right. Ohhh yeah! June 16th, 2007 - A terrorist cell calling itself St. Anastasius' Royal Guard started the so-called Farbrother War by attacking the Farbrother Building in Pescodside. War? More like the Farbrother Farce. The mistake they made was having the audacity to actually insult the good name of the BAR and attack its members. Well the BAR takes care of our own, so we took these fools to school. The funniest, or perhaps saddest, or perhaps just most moronic, tactic employed by SARG was the use of inexperienced clones to hold buildings they had captured. That's certainly one for the history books as a contender for the lamest tactic EVER! Over the past three days 34 36 of these clones have been executed to date by members of the BAR and the Dulston Alliance in retaliation for SARG's overall lack of anything remotely associated with common sense. Of their real members none can be found anymore as they've all run off. June 8th, 2007 - Today the Burchell Arms Regulars formed a sub-group known as the Knight Watchmen who were named in honor of the Knight Arms. Led by BAR Managers Clint Harbringer and tommy monahan, the purpose of this new team will be to deal with the growing number of "deadbeats" in the NE Corner. It's planned that the new team will be in full force during the Biertag festival so as to deal with any deadbeats that may show up to crash the festivities. June 5th, 2007 - Over the past week the BAR has spraypainted tags on buildings throughout the suburb which advertise Biertag. The Burchell Arms Regulars, who are the main sponsors of the Malton holiday, have also advertised the festival on various radio wavelengths. While the celebration is still more than a month away the BAR and some other beer enthusiasts are already planning to attend the festival which will be held at St. Arnold's Church on July 8th. May 31st, 2007 - In the late hours a surprise zombie attack hit the Knight Arms! All within an hour 14 zombies managed to break inside and overrun the pub. Several survivors and BAR members were killed or dragged into the street during the fight. The BAR's response to the attack was quick retaliation, cutting down the zombies in short order. By the next day the pub had been secured again. On a side note, Sir Massacre of Lebende Tote, having been revived somewhere, murdered a survivor at the pub during the fight. May 28th, 2007 - The Battle of Santlerville is over. Zombie activity is winding down throughout the suburb. A summary of the events which led to the BAR's inviolvement in the war could be summarized as increased zombie activity in the area led the Dribbling Beavers asking for assistance, which resulted in more members being present at the Knight Arms. After a while the Revive Corps were called in and did a sterling job of ridding the Finch Monument of its revive queue. May 24th, 2007 - The battle and besieging of the Hall NecroTech building is heating up! In the beginning St. Columbanus's Hospital was targeted by the RRF, with zombie numbers quickly rising to epedemic levels. After a week long siege the hospital finally fell and refugees flocked to the Hall Building. The zombies realized this and quickly began their assault anew. There are now 122 zombies outside the Hall, with an unknown amount of survivors inside - The BAR Revive Corps have been called to help clear the Finch Monument RP, but we are hindered by the RRF actively "rotting" the point. Despite all this we have managed to reduce the standing zombies there from 30+ to half that number - 14, with the revivees hopefully returning to help hold the Hall. May 14th, 2007 - BAR operatives in Santlerville are fighting to keep local resource buildings fuelled and in survivor hands. The revive queue at the Finch Monument is remarkably low at 4 zombies despite recent break-ins. Dowdney Mall is still in survivor hands and the BAR plans to keep it that way. In other news, some murderers are still active in the area, so everyone is reminded to keep a look out. Update: A misunderstanding with bassist55, the leader of the Malton Music Industry, and his killing of a BAR member has finally been cleared up. Apparently bassist55 killed the BAR member so that zombies, who had invaded the safehouse, could not get the satisfaction of the kill. He was later executed by the BAR who viewed his actions as hostile, but bassist55 requested they make amends. This was accomplished last night when, at the BAR's request, he dropped by the Knight Arms and cleaned the pub's toilets. Since then the BAR considers the little survivor "faux pas" to be forgiven. May 8th, 2007 - The BAR has reclaimed the Knight Arms as part of their initiative to drive the zombies plaguing Santlerville from Northeast Malton. To this end many BAR members have joined their brothers-in-arms, the Dribbling Beavers in the defense of Dowdney Mall and the suburb's other precious resource buildings. The BAR intends to quench its thirst for beer and zombie blood in the days to come. May 2nd, 2007 - The Rolt Heights War has ended! In the end the BAR tracked down and executed over 169 murderers in the name of Rolt Heights justice. The PKer Alliance has since departed for parts unknown and the BAR can finally get back to what it does best: drinking beer and killing zombies. April 27th, 2007 - Today was another day of killing as the Rolt Heights War continued with the BAR having executed over 119 murderers. The Dancing Banana, the notorious and oddly named killer, was one of the last executions for the day. Upon hearing of his death veteran BAR member Mark Fredrick replied, "Nice! His very existence offends me. A banana that dances? How ridiculous! Bananas do not dance, they sit quietly in my corn flakes." April 22nd, 2007 - A dispute with Mr Shadows, Don of the Malton Mob, who refuted the BAR's execution claims for him led him to slander the Burchell Arms. When informed Warstorm lowered his beer and stated, "Hmmm? The Malton Mob you say? Well when it comes to being a gangster I'm sure Mr Shadows is probably more capable than the rest of his gang, which is probably why they made him their boss, but his memory is somewhat shabby as he was certainly executed on 4 different occasions (1,2,3a/3b,4) over the past week or so. But we forgive him for not remembering, since after you've had that many bullets pass through your skull things are bound to get a little scrambled upstairs. What we won't forgive or forget is his sass about the Burch'. And seriously, comparing our pub to Club Cummings? First off, with a name like that it sounds more like a strip club, and besides, any place willing to serve rabble like the Mob should have its liquor license taken away." April 18th, 2007 - The Rolt Heights War continued to rage with over 200 Rolt Height survivors having been murdered by members of the PKer Alliance. In retaliation, over 75 murderers, most of whom were associated with the PKA, were hunted down by the BAR and executed for their crimes. In the forefront of this epic struggle was none other than Jim Phil, the illustrious and often inebriated owner of the BAR. Serving justice in one hand and beer in the other, Jim Phil's dry wit would cut like a sword through his enemies... Perhaps then it should come as no surprise that he is loved even among his enemies. But as a startling turn of events showed the admiration of the PKA often burns those around him... for in love and war there are always casualties... April 10th, 2007 - The battle for Rolt Heights has begun in earnest, with the PKer groups: Red Rum, the Creedy Guerilla Raiders, the Angels of Mercy, and supposedly many other minor groups attacking the Regulars in full force. As a result of this a general order has been given for the Regulars to scatter over the suburbs surrounding the Burchell Arms, so as to make it harder for them and take the fight to them. The PKer list has been updated accordingly. April 4th, 2007 - Apparently, the PKer Alliance are in the area. Oooh, scary! March 24th, 2007 - Noted NecroTech scientist, Caleb Usher, met with the B.A.R's staff and provided the group with its very own advertisement poster. The poster was meant to be used in promoting the Regulars' cause, which after seeing the poster one could easily assume is drinking lots of beer. Afterwards this created a flurry of creativity during which several more posters were created by Torjim. March 17th, 2007 - All's well in the suburb apart from the Inman Building being attacked by a large group of 20 zombies. Many B.A.R members have been celebrating St. Paddy's Day by getting extremely drunk. Of them all, SamtheMan, pointed out that he's from the most Irish place in the world that's not in Ireland - Liverpool. March 12th, 2007 - The B.A.R's second pub and home-away-from-home, The Knight Arms in Santlerville, is S.O.P. It's very quiet in the area with hardly any zombies to be seen. Buildings are barricaded and many are still powered. Beer cold & plentiful inside. March 7th, 2007 - The area has quieted again. The Clewett Building (NT) has 8 zombies outside of it and 3 more zombies in the nearby wasteland. Scattered or small groups of zombies are spotted throughout south Pescodside. Most of the buildings in the area still barricaded and powered. March 1st, 2007 - There has been a large increase of zombies in the immediate area since yesterday. Due no doubt to the Mall Tour '07 having moved off to its next stop. Most area buildings are powered and barricaded. February 28th, 2007 - The undead seem to have shambled off. Only loners and small groups remain in the B.A.R's sphere of influence. Mop-up operations remain in effect as the zombie horde moved off to the next mall and its "built-in food supply". There do seem to be many zombie spies in the area though. February 27th, 2007 - Schreiber Drive PD is now firmly back in survivor hands. The area experienced a heavy influx of zombies due to the Mall Tour '07 over the last few days although much of the horde has since moved on to its next target. The beer is flowing and the CD jukebox is on. February 22nd, 2007 - The suburb is largely back to normal. In our area anyway. Some larger groups have moved in around us too - the Crossman Defense Force have taken some territory that used to belong to the Pescodside Defense Alliance, so we obviously have a rather nice thing going here! Anyway, the point is that the Regulars are back in business and our homeland is fine. Medals will soon be distributed to all outstanding members and good works are planned for Malton. With 37 enlisted members the B.A.R is now on its way to becoming one of the more powerful groups in Malton! February 15th, 2007 - We are officially back in business - all immediate resource buildings are populated and we are poised to clear the revive point queue. February 12th, 2007 - Break-ins for all major resource buildings in the area of the barricade map means that the revive queue has ballooned. Survivors are still there, though how long we will last is under contention. Quedos to the Militant Order of Barhah, who are pretty organized indeed. February 11th, 2007 - St. Ninian's Hospital has been recovered at the cost of Schreiber Drive PD. The Militant Order of Barhah have been sighted in Rolt Heights and Pescodside. In other news a new map has been created so people know key resources in our area. February 10th, 2007 - The zombies have moved north, into our turf - Now it's personal! St. Ninian's Hospital was broken into overnight by 9 zombies and with 9 waiting at Otto Street this morning. Things are heating up! February 8th, 2007 - The Gibsonton Campaign was launched. Myrlea Walk PD has come under attack and was breached by zombies. The B.A.R is currently securing that area along with the MPD (as apparently it's their local HQ) while there are still 8 zombies outside. Many Regulars are relieved as they now have something to do. February 6th, 2007 - No break-ins, but increasing numbers of zombies are in the area. Neighboring clans are reporting attacks against them. January 9th, 2007 - Hmmm... slight zombie activity in the area. Over-barricading is once again becoming a problem in the area. January 4th, 2007 - Everything is quiet in the area of the Regulars. Lookout pub opened and abandoned at the Fone Arms because it's still quiet there too. December 23rd, 2006 - The suburbs are still quiet. A few zombies are on the streets, but nothing major, and there is only mild activity at Otto Street. Both the Pescodside Defense Alliance and the Dulston Alliance have offered the advantages of being part of their group to us - but we don't really do mall defense. Thanks anyway though, 'tis appreciated. December 16th, 2006 - Preparations have been issued to all B.A.R Employees and Managers to grab all the ammo, gennys, fuel cans, and syringes while keeping barricades and tags at there designated positions. Any help to defend the buildings around the Burchell Arms is requested to all survivors in the area. It is almost certain that the horde is on its way to us. "United We Stand Divided We Fall" - GhosteOfSpectar December 15th, 2006 - Rumors abound that after smashing the mall three suburbs south, the hordes will headed north to take us out. For advice on how to contribute - head towards our group forums, as there is a thread in the public area for further discussions. December 12th, 2006 - Survivors seem to be spamming our radio frequency more often than would be considered mere random chatter. December 5th, 2006 - Hostilities have occurred between KSR and the B.A.R, haven risen to that point when we retaliated against them. Hostilities have since ceased, though some Regulars are still wary of the KSR. November 27th, 2006 - A majority of the B.A.R members in Santlerville have now pulled out and are heading back home in order to sort out any problems in Rolt Heights around our HQ. November 22nd, 2006 - Santlerville is doing well despite the Dowdney Mall being in zombie hands. November 5th, 2006 - After our minor setback, relief efforts in Santlerville are back underway. November 2nd, 2006 - The Santlerville safehouse has been annihilated. There was a coordinated strike by a group of affiliated zombies on the Night of the Fog, with about 12 zombies attacking all at once. Outnumbered 2-1 the B.A.R safehouse was overrun. Members are re-stocking and a date has been set for the return to the pub. October 29th, 2006 - The relief operation concentrated on maintaining the safety of resource buildings around our safehouse at (censored). Zombies have given up besieging our safehouse and are migrating onwards. All reports around the Burchell Arms indicate a safe suburb. October 23rd, 2006 - The area around the Burchell Arms was suffering from over-barricading with members of the B.A.R having done what they can to help resolve this problem. Relief operations to Santlerville are underway. October 14th, 2006 - Recovery from the Big Bash was finally completed, with the streets and revive points cleared once again. B.A.R members discussed possible relief efforts for neighboring suburbs that are currently in trouble. October 6th, 2006 - (To The) Four Winds has moved out of Rolt Heights. Survivors and Regulars alike are asked not post any further revive requests for Otto Street on their forum. The B.A.R says "Thank you!" to our departed ally. October 2nd, 2006 - Our nomadic buddies, (To The) Four Winds, will be assisting us in maintaining the Otto Street Revive Point. This will only be temporary though. Revive requests should be made on their forum. September 28th, 2006. Rebuilding after the Big Bash. The B.A.R is up and running again. Enjoying cold beer once again. September 15th, 2006 - Porked by the Big Bash, again. We are biding our time while we prepare to retake what's rightfully ours. You've given us a good run, zombie scum - but we shall overcome! September 12th, 2006 - Power went back on in the pub as CH desperately poured the first fuel can found in hundreds of AP into the genny. Finally, the pub's beer can be returned to its natural, cool state. September 5th, 2006 - The Regulars have scattered as the HQ was broken into despite our best efforts to defend it. The Big Bash was just too big to stop! September 2nd, 2006 - The Burchell Arms suffered a break-in for the first time in the B.A.R's recorded history, but the zombies were quickly thrown out and the barricades were restored. August 30th, 2006 - We welcomed the Big Bash to town with repeated shotgun blasts to many impolite zombie faces. At this time we have taken the action of recalling all B.A.R employees back to our HQ. August 22nd, 2006 - All is quiet in Rolt Heights; and the Regulars continue doing what they do best, maintaining the Otto Street revive point and drinking. July 30th, 2006 - An alliance with the Dribbling Beavers has been achieved with a policy of mutual aid having been established. Also, a Uniform Barricade Plan has been created by the Regulars for the immediate area around the Burchell Arms. July 29th, 2006 - The Burchell Arms has been zombie free since the formation of the group, despite the activity of the RRF in our area, which has largely come to an end now. July 25th, 2006 - Maintaining Otto Street Revive Point; defending the pub; playing darts. July 10th, 2006 - General clean-up in the wake of the Ridleybank Resistance Front in Rolt Heights. July 8th, 2006 - Power in the pub. Jim Phil went on a run down to the mall to get a genny so we have the untamed luxury of cold beer! May 30th, 2006 - The Burchell Arms Regulars are formed and vow to defend the Burchell Arms pub and all the survivors of Rolt Heights.